Barry (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 3 - you're charming - full transcript

Sally begins teaching her acting class. Gene is unsure of the article. Barry's deal gets underway. Hank's past confronts him.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
El Toro.

It's an honor to
finally meet you, Toro.

Glad to help
with your little problem.

It was nice when
Hank checked in.

Uh, you have to
be afraid of nothing.

Uh, the Berkman
hit will happen today,

and I got two of
my best guys on it.

Uh, Nestor and, uh, Chuy Flores.

Wait a minute. You mean
the guys from the podcast?


But it won't interfere
with their schedule.

They, they record on Thursdays.

That's good.

So, the guys who are going
to kill Barry have a podcast?

Yeah, It's called
"Los Amigos Gadget."

Each week, they rate and
review a different gadget,

but none of the
gadgets work. Like, once,

they did a jacket that
cooks s'mores in its pocket.

It's really stupid.

I bought one of those.

It works fine.

But won't they be recognized?

Podcast is voice.

Y-You're thinking
of the TikToks.

Nobody knows
what they look like.

To be honest,

it's my one issue with
"Los Amigos Gadgets."

It's a show about gadgets,
but you have to listen

and imagine what
the gadgets look like.

There is a link to YouTube.

If you wanna see the gadgets
themselves, you, you click on it.

Right, but I'm listening
while I'm driving.

So, am I supposed to,

you know, pull over...

just to... click on that link?


I'll do that. I'll
start doing that.

The FBI is cutting
a deal with Barry.

He's informing on
some big crime figures.

Apparently, he's
very valuable to them.

Sir, if he goes free,

he is going to come and kill me.

Let's not get ahead
of ourselves, okay?

I'm sure you've got some,
some big protocols i-in place

to protect your
witnesses, right?

We have some, but if
a defendant is willing

and determined, it can be hard.

But that's usually ex-military,
so I'm not too worried.

Barry is ex-military.


Do you own a gun, Mr. Cousineau?

H-He does own a prop gun,
which he was given by Rip Torn.

If Rip Torn gave it to you,
it probably fires real bullets.

That's good.

You know what? I'm
just gonna go into hiding.

They always find you.

I've had many cases like
this, but I can't talk about them.

- Because they're classified?
- No.

They're really disturbing

and I just don't like
thinking about them.

We're in a good position here.

Your story and
the facts line up.

There's nothing they have to
cloud the case and set him free.

We've controlled
the information.

So, just continue
to stick to the facts.

And when you're
outside this office,

keep your mouth shut.

Tom, I have to
ask you a question.

It's completely hypothetical.

What is it?

Alright, do you think
it would be an issue

if I invited a reporter
to my theater...

You performed a one-man
show for fucking Lon O'Neil?!

- What is wrong with you?
- What the fuck is wrong with you?

I don't know! What do we do?

We have to stop that
article from coming out!

Let me get this straight.

So, NoHo Hank and Cristobal...

are an item?

Yeah. Yeah, they started
working with each other on a job

and then, that just
grew into somethin'.

- You know, they're actually really in love.
- That must be nice.

And you say they're
building a crime utopia?

I mean, that's what they were
doing when I worked with them.

I trained some of their guys.

This is big, Barry.

And you held up your
end of the bargain.


We looked into this Sally Reed.

Now, she'll have to
completely give up her old life,

her family, her friends.

No contact with
anyone from her past.

How does she feel about this?

I-I haven't asked
her about it yet.

But I think she'll be into it.

Actually, I know
she'll be into it.

You know, she said I, um...

said I make her feel safe.

Berkman, you got a visitor.

Who are you?

I'm writing a piece
about Detective Janice Moss

and the events
surrounding her death.

I don't... C-Can
I talk about that?


I mean, it's only
fair you get a chance

to respond to the accusations

that Gene Cousineau's
been making against you.

What's he saying?

He's saying that you killed her,

you kidnapped him.

And that you
threatened his family.

He told you that?

It took over three hours,

but, yes, he told me that.

Why don't you tell me

what happened the night
you were arrested, okay?

Why did you go into
Jim Moss's house?

Who do you write for again?

"Vanity Fair."

Wait, do you guys have
Julia Roberts on your cover?

Uh, yeah, I-I-I'm
sure at some point,

- we had Julia Roberts... - And
he said I-I threatened his family?

Did you?

- Well, I apologized for all that.
- Mm-hmm...


Listen, you know,
I got a, a good...

- case here.
- Mm-hmm.

And I'm cooperating
and everything, so I don't...

If he keeps running
his mouth and-and...

telling my story
to people, then...

Mm-hmm. Okay.

If he's saying that stuff,

and he's running his
mouth, it's gonna fuck shit up.

- And if you, and if you publish
it... - Yep. I-I'm gonna publish it.

It's really just your
chance to say your piece.

I'm only trying to be fair here.

You know what'd be fair? You
know what'd be fuckin' fair?!

Is if Gene Cousineau
stops telling my life story!

That's what'd be fuckin' fair!

Tell Gene Cousineau
to shut his fuckin' mouth!

Hello! Hi.

I'm Sally Reed,

uh, and today, I'm gonna
teach you how to be actors.


I learned my craft from
Mr. Gene M. Cousineau,

and today,

you will be learning his
techniques through me.

Um, they've been
very helpful for me,

as well as for many
other working actors. Um...

Sorry. Um...

Look, how many of you are here

'cause I'm the
Entitled Cunt Girl?

- Ah.
- I know about you,

but that's not why I
wanted to take the classes.

Same. I mean, I actually
thought that the video

- was super unfair and overblown.
- Yeah.

I mean, everyone's allowed
to get angry, right?

- Thank you!
- Pretty much like every fight

that I get into with my sister.

That was an ugly moment.

I can... I can see that now.

But it was genuine.
And ultimately,

it's where I want
you to go in this class.

As actors, we have to
be vulnerable. I mean,

we have to be the ugliest
versions of ourselves.

We all have it in us.

And to trigger it
voluntarily takes strength.

Okay. Uh, normally, we
do some warm-up exercises

and then I'm supposed to drone
on about theory or whatever,

but I always hated
that part of class.

So if it's okay with you,
I think we should just...

dive right in! Okay.

Did everybody bring a scene?

Jim Moss? Lon O'Neil.

I'm so sorry to
bother you at home.

I told you. Leave me alone.

I spoke to Barry Berkman.

He seems to think

that Gene Cousineau
is trying to railroad him,

and I wanted your
thoughts on that and

- on your daughter's case.
- Why would he think

that Gene's trying
to railroad him?

Well, I told him what
Mr. Cousineau said to me,

and he didn't seem
very happy about it.

You spoke to Cousineau?

Oh, yes, I did.

Let's go have a
chat in my garage.

Yo, big man. Yo, Big Bird!

Yo, Big Bird!
Where's your dude at?

Aw... What's the
matter? Come on, Raven.

- Aw, he sad.
- Mr. Rave... You got a new code name? Mr. Lonely?

Hey, Goose!

Where's your associate?

Dude with the busted
face. Y'all break up?

I heard he
sold you out. Aw...

- Aw...
- Lookin' like Boo-Boo the Fool now.

This is NoHo Hank.

Hank, have you ever been called

Boo-Boo the Fool before?

Uh, I don't think so.

Well, I have,

and it's very hurtful.

I've also been called Big Bird,

Fish Tits, and Baby Shoes.

All because Barry
fucked me over.

My whole life, I put myself
on the line for that guy,

and all I ever got
in return is shit.

It's being taken care of.

- What does that mean?
- By the end of the day,

Barry won't be a
problem anymore.

He won't?

And look,

we have to stop communicating.

Here's what I need you to do.

Keep your mouth shut.

- Okay.
- Play stupid,

- and you'll be paid for it on the other end.
- Okay.

Hey, guys! Come on, take five.

Go on.

Go hydrate.

Hey, guys, take
five! Hey, buddy.

Take a break.


This new organization of yours

is a direct affront
to your homeland.

I come to you... as a friend...

to tell you

that the elders have
a new contingent

to run LA.

You either get rid of
those guys and join us,

or we will wipe... you... out.


you can tell the elders...

that that would be a mistake.

Think about it, Hank.

Fuckin' piece of shit.

I did so fuckin' much for you.

I did so fuckin' much for
you, and this is what you do?

This is what you fuckin' do!

Fuckin' piece of shit!

I fuckin' help you out.

I fuckin' save your fuckin' ass!

Fuck you. Fuck you!


I do so fuckin' much
for people, and...

I don't see anybody.

- Are you sure that this is Lon's house?
- Yes, I'm positive this is...

What are you doing?!

You're crazy!

What did you just do? Tom!

- It's the only way, Gene.
- We cannot break in there.

Get down. We cannot be doing this.

Be careful, there's a lot of glass.

Alright, we've got very little time.

Come on, Gene. Come on. Come on in.

- Ow...
- Get up off the floor, Gene.

- Oh, I just laid in glass.
- Come on. Get up.

- Tom. Tom, quick.
- Come on, come on.

- Come back.
- You're fine, Gene.

Tom, what are you doing?

- They got a dog. Alright.
- I'm fine. I'm fine...

Hurry up! That was illegal!

Ah, shit.

That's the kitchen in there.

Bingo! Found it.

- What are you doing?!
- Alright, come on. We gotta smash it.

- No, no. Everything's stored in the monitor.
- No, I don't...

I'm telling you, everything
is stored in the monitor.

No, I think you
gotta get the hard drive.

This is one of
those new computers.

You just bust the monitor, and
it loses everything. Come on.

- Tom, that's the monitor! Get the hard drive!
- Gene, don't argue with me.

- Gene Cousineau?
- Lon's wife's in the house!

What's going on?

Hi, I'm Gene Cousineau.

Wh-Why are you in my house?

- Is there someone else here?
- Do you know,

I was so worried about Lon

that I came to check to see
if the house was broken into.

Is this about the
Barry Berkman article?

I wish you would call it the
Gene Cousineau article, but yes.

God, I'm actually worried.

I can't get a hold of him.

Last time we spoke
was this morning.

He was doing a
interview on your article.

- Did he tell you where he was going?
- No...

Oh, well, he said he needed

to check on a victim's father.

Do you know who that is?

Victim's father?

You need your
juice, Shelby. Drink your juice.

The first rule of
Fight Club is...

y-you don't talk
about Fight Club.

Coach, it's me. Rudy. Put me in.

I'm big. It's the
pictures that got small.

Okay, what's going on?

Uh, I picked Sunset Boulevard?

- Okay.
- Well, I, I thought maybe

we would do something
from a play or something,

a-and then I saw that everybody
brought in movie scenes, so...

I just googled famous
movie quotes and...

Well, did you bring in
something from a play?

Uh... God, I had a thing.
Uh, what was it from?

I... No. I guess...

- So, y-you didn't bring in anything?
- No.

I'm lame.

- I'll just excuse myself.
- You're charming.

- Okay.
- Is that why you wanna be an actress?

Uh, I-I don't know.

Do people say to you,
"Oh, you're so pretty?

You're so charming.
You should be an actress."

Do they say that to you?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

And do you feel
like you have a need

to express something?


Like, I don't know,

complexity? Hope?

Desire? The human condition?

Or do you just
wanna be charming?


So you're not an artist.

You're just a
perfect pair of tits.


Then why the fuck are you here?

- I can't say.
- Why not?

- I don't want to.
- What?

You're afraid we're all gonna
be bowled over by your intellect?


Did you book something?


They wanted a hot
girl, and you fit the bill.

- Only trouble is you can't act, so you come to me?
- No.

And because you've
coasted your whole damn life

on your God-given tits and
ass and your inherent charm,

you think you can
come in here to my class,

unprepared, waste my time,

- and I'm gonna let you off the hook?
- No.

Well, that's what you did,

- isn't it?
- You're being mean.


Oh, I'm being mean?

Oh, what? So now,
I'm dealing with a child!

What, nobody's ever been
mean to you before? Why?

'Cause your personality?
Your big brain?

Your taste in old
movies? Or maybe,

it's just because they
all wanted to fuck you!

Stop it!

Don't think. Now, say the line.

I'm big!

It's the pictures
that got small!

Good. You okay?

That was beautiful.

I'm so sorry I had to go there.
What you just witnessed...

What was your name again?

- Kristen?
- What you just witnessed Kristen do

is the backbone of this class.

It's about locating
the parts of ourselves

that we don't like, and
making them our, our...

our paints, our...

That was abusive.

Well, it's part of the work.

It's Cousineau's method.

Just 'cause it was done to you,

does not mean you
need to do it to us.

Okay, uh, let's
take a tight five.

And, um, when we come back,

we'll do some mirror exercises.

This call may be recorded.

You have received
a collect call from...

- Barry.
- An inmate

at California
State Penitentiary.

Do you accept the charges?


Hi, Hank.

Hey, Barry.

You good?

Hey, look, um, we got a situation.


Mr. Cousineau, Gene Cousineau.

He's my acting
teacher. He's, uh...

He's talking to the press.

- Uh-huh.
- And, um...

Uh, I'm trying to
be discreet here.

If-If he was a dog,
he-he'd need to go...

to a new home.


I need... I need a
dog catcher.

I-I don't know if I need
to spell this out for you

any more than I already
am, Hank.

But I need your help.

Like, now.

Are you looking
out for me, Barry?

Yeah. No, I mean, no.

He's got information on you
and Cristobal. That's what I'm...

That's what I'm sayin'.

Is that he, he's got a
lot of information on you.

Why are you lying to me, Barry?

Wh-Why would you
say I'm lying? I don't...

I'm not lying.

You're lying to me right now.

Hank, what are
you talkin' about?

Barry, I have been nothing

but loving and good
friend to you, and...

like all you do is you take.

And you take and you take.


I-I don't... I don't know where
this is coming from, man,

but I-I'm calling with you for... with
some really important information.

I think you need to
listen to me and take this.

And this is comin'
from my heart, man.

We've been friends
for a long time.

It's like... It's like you're
only out for yourself.

That's not
true. That is not true.

I don't know who
you're talking to.

I don't know who
everybody's talking to.

- But I've been nothing but good to people.
- Oh yeah?

I'm a good friend.
I'm a good person.

That is who I am, okay?

This is me looking out for you.


Then why are you
talking to the Feds?

See, now, why are you lying?

See, now you're lying to
me. I wouldn't talk to the Feds.

Do you think I'd do
that, motherfucker?

You think that's the
kind of person I am?

That I would talk to the Feds?

I'm gonna forget you said that,

and you're gonna do what I ask.

You're gonna get a
dogcatcher for me, alright?

- I'm not doing shit for you, Barry.
- Hank.

- Hank.
- No. Not anymore.

Shut up! Hank, do what I say

'cause if I fucking get
outta here, man, you are f...

The day you get outta prison is
my fucking birthday, man, okay?

Oh, you're a tough guy now?

Oh, you think
you're a tough guy?

Is that what it is, Hank?
You think you're fuckin' tough?

You're not fuckin' tough, Hank.

You don't know what
fuckin' tough is, motherfucker.

- You fucked up...
- Why don't you enjoy hell,

- you murdering, self-centered...
- Fuck you! Fuck you!

- Lying, fucking narcissistic piece of shit?
- You're fucking dead!

You fucked up. Fucked up...

Hey! Jim? Hi.

Hey, has that
"Vanity Fair" reporter

come here and
try to talk to you?

Because he's trying to
make me speak to him...

Did you do a one-man
show for Lon O'Neil?

You can't be trusted, Gene.

You have to be isolated.

Y... I had stage fever.

You know, I-I exaggerated
things to make me look better,

but I'm gonna
clear everything up.

Let's go and talk to Lon.

Lon ain't gonna be talking
to anybody for a long time.

And he just showed up
on your doorstep like this?


And his laptop, his phone,
wallet, ID, it was all missing.

He hasn't spoken yet.

Lon, it's Faye, your editor.

Lon, what happened to you?


Please say something.

How long has he spoken German?

He doesn't speak German.


Would... you wanna tell
the others we're back or...

They left.

They think you're a monster.

This was such a stupid idea.

Oh, my God, don't
start feeling sorry for yourself.

You're clearly unhinged.

But I've been to
three acting classes,

and you're the only person
that's gotten anything outta me.

I did book a job.

A big job.

I have one scene,
and I have to nail it.

I need your help.
Will you do it?

That's us.

Sir. Sir, I... I need
to report something.

What's that?

My friend is gonna
get killed today.

- What's that?
- My friend, Barry Berkman.

His life is in danger.
He's in special housing.

He's got a hit out on him.

Sit down.

No, I-I'm serious. I'm not...
I'm not fucking with you, sir.

He's gonna get murdered today.

You have to alert
special housing.

I'll look into it.



They're gonna
murder Barry Berkman!

- Hey, shut up.
- They're gonna murder Barry Berkman!

- Come on, man. Just calm down.
- Special housing!

Man, Fish Tits' tripping!

Barry Berkman! Shit's going down

in special housing! Damn it!

No! No!


These are some of our agents
from Witness Protection, and...

we filled them in on what
you're willing to provide us with.

Let me tell you,
they're pretty excited.

We're stoked.

This is Agent James Curtis.
We've worked with him

on a number of cases like yours.

Hi, Barry.

- Hi.
- I'm gonna just walk you through

all the ins and outs
of this program, okay?

I'm... Answer any
questions you might have.

Alright, and y-you know I-I'm
bringin' Sally Reed with me?


- Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah, of course.
- We informed.

And that, th-that'll
happen soon?

Oh, someone's anxious to
be reunited with their lady,

- I guess.
- Indeed.

Yeah. Listen, Barry,

you don't have to worry
about any of that stuff, okay?

- Okay.
- What's most important here

is that you understand
that I've, you know,

I've protected people
like yourself for...

Man, it's been 20 years now.

I just wanna be honest
with you here, Barry.

Again, this goes
back to that honesty.

- That trust. That... -
I'm, uh, committed to this.

- Oh, good. Good.
- Yeah.

I wish I could brag about a
hundred percent success rate.

We've lost a few over the
years. Broken a few eggs.

You might blush at the idea
of being referred to as an egg.

I don't... I don't know, Barry,
but here's what's important.

Those eggs that cracked,

those eggs weren't trustworthy.

Those eggs weren't honest.

So what are you gonna be, Barry?

Are you gonna be an
honest egg? I think so.

For all you know, we
put a chip in you, right?

We know where you are.

Maybe not.

But, uh, ultimately,
th-that's what it's about.

You tell us what you like,
you tell us what you need,

and, uh, we'll see to it that we
can get you everything we can...

That guy is here to kill me.

He's got a weapon on him or
somethin'. That guy's here to kill me.

That's one
of Agent Curtis' men, Barry.

What? No. That's
not... - Search him.

He's got a weapon
on him or somethin'.

- I thought he was with you guys.
- No, he's with you.

- Shit.
- This is for Cristobal and Hank!


What the...

Shots fired, shots fired.

Officer down. Code red.

Go get 'em, boys!

Ah! Chuy!

- Chuy...
- Oh, shit.

Where the hell is Berkman?