Barry (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - bestest place on the earth - full transcript

Barry gets an unexpected visitor. Hank and Cristobal attempt to restart their operations. Gene tells his story. Sally deals with the aftermath of having dated Barry.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Ah! Ah!

Boom. Boom. Hey,
get back here.

Bang, bang, bang.

Ah! Get away from me! Ah!

Oh no. I didn't mean to
get you. I meant that guy.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh no, what did you
do? I don't know.


- Monroe, this is my youngest son, Barry.
- Ah, hey there, big guy.

Your dad, uh, tells
me you're shy.

You gonna be shy
with me?

Barry, say hello.

Ah, it's o... Hey. I-I hear
you like, uh, playing army.

You know, your dad and
I used to play army.

- Barry!
- No, it's alright.

No need to pressure
him there, John.

Hey, it was nice to meet you,

son. It really was.

You know, maybe one
of these days, uh,

you'll let me play
army with you, yeah?

What do you mean
there's no deal?

I'm saying you guys are asking
me to turn against a friend,

and I can't do that.

But that wasn't us.

You guys were already
in a friend fight.

We have a process in motion
of giving you a new life.

- Why would you turn away from that?
- Gentlemen.

I don't think I should
say anything else

without my attorney,
Gale Winograde, present.

Gale Winograde is your attorney?

As of this morning, yeah.

I will leave you with this.

Shame on you.

Turning pals into enemies.

It's a dick move.

Your daddy's
gonna be real mad at me.

And he... he's got
every right to be,

so I don't want you
sticking up for me...

I'd, uh, I'd
like to introduce myself.

I'm the Raven.

Over there is my associate,

Barry Berkman.

You probably saw
him on the news.

He's a badass cop killer.

The Raven is connected to
some very heavy hitters.

I can't say who.
Let's just say,

they're not Russian, but...

you'd think they were.

- They Chechens?
- Yeah, they're Chechen,

but when the Raven
gets outta here,

they're gonna hook him
up, and you could get

a piece of the action.

- What's your name, son?
- Jason.

Jason? No.

Raven can't have a Jason.

Need something with more flair.

Live Wire.

- What's your name?
- I'm trying to watch a show.

TV fan, are you? Well,

we'll call you...
TV... Groove Tube!

- I don't want a nickname.
- Live Wire and Groove Tube.

Yeah, looks like the
Raven got himself a gang.

No, for real, I
don't like nicknames.

Alright, then you're Jason.

Dude, I'm Jason.
My name is Jason.

You're Live Wire, motherfuck!

You're Jason, you're Live
Wire, and I'm the Raven!

That speech was really good.

- Thank you.
- Now, you had...

I've been taking these
acting classes and stuff,

and you knew exactly...

- how to play that. You're...
- Felt relaxed.

Yeah, felt honest, relaxed.

You know, you weren't
pushing it at all.

- You were just confident...
- Do you like the names that I came up with?


Yeah. No, those were good.

Figure it'll take this
lawyer a long time

to finally spring us, so...

we get ourselves a little
contingent, a little...

- safety in numbers.
- Yeah.

- I'll get 'em in line. Yeah.
- Good.

Can't believe those Feds

trying to talk me
into wearing a wire.

Really, I'm...

I'm sorry, buddy.

- No, I get it. It's okay.
- Yeah.

Gonna get me a new life.

Witness protection.

And I said, "Fuck off."

I can't do that to family.

Oh, Winograde can
meet us at 3:00 PM.

- Okay. Alright.
- Mm-hmm.

Interested to see what he
says. Apparently, he's a beast.




I see you are still in
the shipping business.

What do you want?

A while ago, Hank and I
approached you with a deal.

The crime utopia
thing. I remember.

- Played volleyball.
- Yes, well,

we are back in
business, my friend,

and we have an operations that
we could use your services for.

It would be an equal share.

Who else is involved?

Well, we are holding a
meeting with, hopefully, you.

And the Guatemalans.

We're at war with
those motherfuckers.

You'll never get us
at a table together.

Eh... I think I can.

If that table happens to be at
the bestest place on the earth.

Before we start,

I have to applaud you.

It's not an easy task,
putting aside differences,

trading out your guns
for your listening ears,

then trucking all the way

to the Dave and the
Busters here in Torrance.

It takes a strong will
to do such things.

I would know. Not long ago,

I was the head of
the Bolivian cartel.

We were at war
with the Chechens.

They belittled us, fought us,

stole from us, completely
destroyed our operations.

But now...

We're fucking.

Not implying that's where
you guys are headed.

I understand Cristobal and I
are total unicorn situation.

The point is, we were able to
put aside a major blood feud

and the only way
to do such a thing

is by first admitting

what you don't do well.

By admitting what you need.

See, the Chechens had
style and distribution,

but we were complete
boners at stealing shit.

And we were the best of thieves,

but had no idea
how to distribute.

And we were too busy blowing
the shit out of each other

to realize that we
needed each other.

Our strengths could help
each other's weaknesses.

Together, we were stronger.

Together, we are stronger.

Okay, say that shit in
your mind right now.

Make it your mantra.
And at first,

I get that you may
need to hold your nose

when working with someone
who might have killed

a close friend or family
member. That sucks, but...

That shit will fade
away when you see

the amazing bounty of power

that comes with
working together.

Now, we have a pitch that
will bring us all together

in a way that we
will all profit,

where we will all succeed
beyond our wildest imagination,

but there must be
zero bloodshed!

Hello! Can I start you
guys with an appetizer?

Uh, yes, we'll have some jalapeno
poppers for the table, please.

The killing must stop!

If the Bolivians and the
Chechens can do it...

we all...

can do it.

Yes! Okay,

fantastic! Okay,
everyone, everyone,

come with me, and we will all go
to the Wicked Tuna right here.

Right here. Okay, come
with me, come with me.

Look, right over here, we have the Pac-Man. Huh?

We have the Hungry Hippo.
And we have the Skee-ball...

you got a visitor.

Come on, let's go.

- Oh, is it my lawyer?
- Don't know.

I'm sorry.

- Hello. How are you?
- I am really sorry.

How are you?

I fucked up.

I'm really sorry, Sally.

How's Muffin?

- Who's Muffin?
- Muffin. Our dog, Muffin.

Remember, before
you were arrested?

Muffin bit me, and you said

you were gonna find him
a new home. Did you?

I told you what I did to Muffin.

No, you didn't tell me.

That's why I flew
all the way here.

Where's the dog buried?

Honey, the dog h-has a
new home. The dog's safe.

You got nothing to worry
about. You're okay.

Is that the only thing
you came here for?


Then, why aren't you leaving?

I tried to go home,

it was just so awful.

Sally, I didn't...
I didn't lie to you.

- You did... You did.
- I didn't lie to you.

I didn't lie to you. I just...

I didn't tell you the part
I didn't want to be true.

Sally, I'm a piece of
shit. You gave me a life

I don't fucking deserve.

You were so loving to me

and you made me

like a fucking human.

And it was just you being
you. Just you being Sally.

Why aren't you leaving?

I feel safe with you.

You feel safe with me?
Is that what you said?

You feel safe with me?


You feel safe with me?
Is that what you said?

Sally, that's beautiful. Do
you really feel safe with me?


Sally, do you feel safe with me?

Do you mean that? 'Cause
you are safe with me, Sally.

You're always gonna
be safe with me.

Sally, I love you.

I love you. Sally!

I love you. And you're always...

You're always safe with me!

Gene Cousineau?

Holy shit, you got here fast.

You wanna go inside?

What do you drive,
a rocket ship?

Or should we go someplace else?

Were you followed?


Okay. Listen.

The address is in here.

Once you get there,

lock the door.



Don't lie.
You had some fun.


That's what this
is all about, man.

So, why did we bring you here?

It is because of this.

But this is not what you are
thinking. It is...

- It's not heroin.
- Not heroin.

This is sand.

High-quality sand
is a hot commodity.

Every construction
company needs it

to make their
foundation stronger,

more resilient.

First, we will corner
the market in California.

- Then, the entire country.
- But, in order to do so,

we need Bong's ports and trucks,

and we need Manny and
Jorge's muscle to make sure

the construction sites
are only using our stuff.

Excuse me, we've got this room
for, like, another hour, please!

- Jesus.
- Thank you.

Me and Hank will turn this
into legitimate enterprise.

You'll soon be 9-to-5, assholes.

It will grow in a way
that we can do business

not in the shadows,
but in the light.

Call a tailor 'cause y'all gonna need suits.

We are going to turn
into solid citizens.

It will give us a community,

but most importantly...

will make us rich.

I'd like to propose something
real quick to the fellas.

When it comes to enforcing
and protecting said merch,

sometimes, you need
that ace in the hole.

Ours is top assassin
named Barry Berkman.

Now, homie's in prison.

But you know what
we're gonna do?

We're going to break him
out. Prison break 2023!

Hank, what
are you doing?

Okay, Barry's Splash Brothers
of assassins. We need him.

What are you saying? What
are you talking about?

I looked at the prison online.

It's super easy to break into.

- Is this a yoke?
- No, this is not a yoke.

- What you are proposing is stupid.
- Okay, you're the one

- who's talking about fucking sand.
- You said you liked the sand.

over here. Get over here.

Hey, get back here.

Hey, bud. Remember
me? Your dad's friend?

Yeah, he told me
to come out here,

tell you it's, uh,
time for lunch.

- Okay.
- Okay.

What you got there? Is that
a good guy or a bad guy?

- Bad guy.
- Bad guy.

Cool-ocity. Who fights him?

Everyone but himself.

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

And the, the
yellow guy? Is he fighting?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

So, he
kills the bronze,

winds his arm back, and then, bling! Whoosh!

And it pushes the other one, and boom! Yeah.

That's cool. What about
the guy in white? What does he do?

So, he's
supposed to be camouflaged,

but it's not snowing...

Sally, I
can't be your agent.

Okay, look, I know...

I accused you of a lot of things

that weren't technically true,

so I understand you, personally,

not wanting to work with me,

but if you could
just recommend me

to someone, anyone.

Even a small boutique agency.

I mean, I'll read for Waitress
Number Two. I'll do...

Do you read what people
are saying about you

on social media?


Well, now it's going to mainstream media.

coming up later in our show,

there's a new development

in the viral "Entitled
C-word Girl."

Turns out, her boyfriend was
an entitled K-word. A killer.

You need to
understand the gravity

of what you're up against here.

It's not just about
Natalie's video.

You and Barry are linked.

You're getting called out for
thanking him at your premiere.

People are grabbing
images of the two of you

- off your Facebook.
- But I'm the victim here.

You are no longer Sally Reed.

You're the "Entitled Cunt Girl"

who dated a serial killer.

It's not like your
career is over.

If you wanted, you could have...

a reality show or...

a podcast.

And you would make
more money than God.

You have two high-profile
strikes against you,

and, on top of that,

you have integrity.

I'm so sorry.

♪ Desperado... ♪

♪ Why don't you come
to your senses? ♪

♪ You've been out
riding fences ♪

Ah. Take a seat.

♪ For so long now ♪

♪ Oh, you're a hard one ♪

♪ But I know that... ♪

So, can I interview you now?

The only reason I
brought you here

is because I just can't
have more attention.

I can't be in the spotlight.

So, I'm gonna tell
you the story,

just once,

only to you, for
"Vanity Fair."

And I'm gonna tell it to you

in the only way I know how.

♪ Don't your feet get cold... ♪


Mister! Mister, please!

I need to be in the theater!
Don't close the theater!

Hey, I am so sorry,

but my class is the most
sought after in this city.

It's... It's full. Just scram.

No! I-I-I
need to be in that theater!

You know, I just came
back from the war.

It did somethin' terrible to me.

Yeah, a-and the word
on the street is

you don't just teach acting.

You save lives!

If I don't get
into that theater,

I'm gonna go home, and kablam!

on my watch, son.

Not on my watch.

And that was the first day
that I met Barry Berkman.

Now, he came to me like
most of my students.

He was eager. He was dumb.

So, what did I do?

I got into his brain
and I set up shop.

And pretty soon...

he opened like a flower.

And then one day,

like Siegfried...

or Roy...

he turned on me,

like an ungrateful tiger.

So you handle a lot
of cases like this?

- Is this an audition? I don't do auditions.
- No, no.

- Everyone knows you're one of the best.
- Yeah.

Fucking ask me to audition.

I don't know whether
Cousineau wore a wire or not,

but if he did, they
have Barry on there

saying he killed Janice Moss.

I have an audio engineer.

I bring him up in
front of the jury.

He records me saying bullshit,
like, "How much is this mop?

Why is my hot dog wet?" Ring
Around the Rosie nonsense.

And then he cuts it up, mixes
it live, he plays it back,

and it comes out as me
saying incriminating shit

my client supposedly said.

"I killed X guy on
Y day." Whatever.

- Cool.
- Yeah. I also had this other asshole.

He said he shot somebody
outside of a club.

They had him on video.
I said it was deepfaked.

So, I had my nerd put my face
on the shooter, and then I said,

"Oh, no. Looks like I did
it," you know? And then,

I put my hands behind my back
like I was gettin' cuffed.

Fuckin' jury laughed so hard.

I killed it that day.

Was he the shooter?


So, where the hell
is Berkman, huh?

You killed a cop. Why
should you get a deal?

I got a lot to offer.

- We don't want Fuches.
- Is he still mad at me?

We need the other
jobs you pulled.

I can give you the Chechens,
Bolivians, all the LA gangs.

I used to be in their network.

You worked for international
crime syndicates?

Uh-huh. I just
got one request.

What's that?

Can I take someone with me?

Okay. So, I successfully
escape from a trunk.

I survived a wild pack of dogs.

I go home

and there he is.

His arm around my grandson.

Death in his eyes.

And then I realize...

he's not in charge.

I am.

I know how to press
those buttons.

Hey, I installed them.

I love you, Barry.

You do?

You betcha.

you say it again?

why not? I love you.

Mr. Cousineau, I would
do anything for your forgiveness.

next time I see him,

he's got his hat
firmly in his hand,

and in the other hand,

a bag filled with $250,000 cash.

Then, the dope looked
at me and said...

I will do
anything for your forgiveness,

Mr. Cousineau.

you will, fuckface.

You will.

Wow. I, uh, I got more
than I bargained for with that.

That was an amazing story.
It was long. It was...

But, it was an
amazing long story.

Well, I laid it out as
honestly as I could.

So, uh, Barry took you hostage,
got your career back on track,

and then you punched
him in the face.

And then, you and Jim Moss
teamed up, and you busted him.

That's about the size of it.

I'm an anonymous source, right?

- Yes.
- Hush-hush?

- Hush-hush.
- Great! Let me walk you out.

Now, if you wanna
talk about the show,

you can talk about
the show. Fine.

But just don't say
who the actor was

or who the director
or the writer is

or any of those kind of things
because that could be bad.

Why didn't you tell
me about Barry?

How could you know
and not warn me?

Oh, uh, he kidnapped me.

Uh, he threatened me.

H-He threatened my family. I...

I was the one living with him!

And you're telling me

that you didn't see one sign?



We're both victims here.

He was obsessed with us. He
treated us like superstars.

As actors,

that's really hard to resist.

But, it's over.

So why did you really come?

I don't know.

I do. It's home.

Listen to me.

When the world is against you,

your back is against the wall,

there is only one
thing you can do.



Barry! What's going on, man?

Winograde is waiting for us...

Who the hell are you?

I'm Tomas.

Wha... Where's
the guy who was in here?

I'm Tomas.

I don't give a fuck
what your name is!

Where is the guy who is
supposed to be in here?!

They said he got moved
to special housing.

But I'm Tomas.


I can't do this alone.
You embarrassed me today.

From now on, you need
to clear shit with me

before just saying
it to the guys, yeah?

We need to be a team
here. It's bad optics.

I'm super onboard with
this sand shit, okay?

Then why are you
bringing up Barry?

I thought we could use him.

- Be honest with me.
- Honest about what?

Why are
you bringing up Barry?

Barry's in prison. Okay?

He needs our help.

I love you, Hank.

I want you to hear that.

But I think it's shit like this
why people think you are soft.

Barry doesn't care about you.

He never has.

I feel like I
understand him now.

Understand him? How?

I need to take this.

- Hello?
- When you're honest,

- you get fucked.
- Fuches?

Love will
lead you to ruin.

Are these song titles?

- Barry betrayed me.
- Are you with him?

Okay, listen, I think I figured
out a way to get you guys out.

I showed him how I really felt.

- He betrayed me.
- How?


I had a sweet deal with
the FBI, but I didn't do it

'cause I wanted to do right
by that kid for a change.

I just found out he took it.

H-He's telling them everything.

Maybe I deserve
this, you know?

Barry's working with the FBI?

I don't know who to turn
to, Hank. I mean, you know him.

Why would he do that to me?

Who was that?

We have to kill Barry.