Barney Miller (1975–1982): Season 8, Episode 3 - The Car - full transcript

BUT THERE'S A NEW POLICY NOW.

NO. IT'S THE SAME CAPTAIN.

AND I CAN'T USE THE
PHONE ANYMORE, EITHER.

GOODBYE, ALLEN.

HARRIS.

BARNEY, I WAS TALKING TO MY
AGENT, AND I ADMIT IT FREELY.

HARRIS... IT'S ONLY
TWO MINUTES TO 9:00.

I CHARGED IT TO MY HOME PHONE.

AND... THESE ARE THE CRIME
STATISTICS YOU ASKED FOR.

THANK YOU.

IS THERE... ANYTHING ELSE?



YES.

IT IS NOW TWO DAYS SINCE I...

FORCED YOU TO MISS THAT MEETING,

AND I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME
WE SAT DOWN, MAN TO MAN...

WHOOPS, WHOOPS. ON DUTY.

GET INSIDE, MR. HILYER.

IS THIS WHERE I
GET THAT SHIRT...

YOU KNOW, THE ONE
WITH THE NUMBERS ON IT?

NO, THAT'S PRISON.

IT'S LATER.

I WAS JUST ASKING.

BARN.

Barney: YEAH.

THIS IS JOSEPH HILYER.



ON MY WAY IN THIS MORNING,

I FOUND HIM CHASING A
BUNCH OF JAPANESE TOURISTS.

HE WAS TRYING TO SPRAY THEM
WITH THIS CAN OF WINDSHIELD DE-ICER.

THOSE PEOPLE WERE ACTING

LIKE THEY NEVER SAW
A REAL CAR BEFORE.

WHAT CAR?

MY DeSOTO. THEY
WERE VIOLATING IT.

WHAT?

I MEAN, I WENT IN TO ED'S AUTO
SUPPLY STORE FOR TWO SECONDS

TO BUY A CAN OF CARNAUBA WAX

AND A CASE OF THOSE
LITTLE PINE TREES.

AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW,

THEY'RE HANGING ALL OVER MY CAR,

SITTING ON THE HOOD
POSING FOR PICTURES,

KICKING THE WHITEWALLS,
FONDLING THE FINS.

IS THAT ANY WAY TO
TREAT A '57 FIREFLIGHT?

I'M NOT SURE.

ANYWAY, WHEN I TRIED
TO CALM HIM DOWN,

HE TOOK A SWIPE AT ME.

YOU TRIED TO HIT HIM?

WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT HE WAS A COP.

HE LOOKS LIKE A TYPICAL
CHROME-SMUDGER.

HERE YOU GO.

WAIT. WE'RE NOT DONE.

SEE, THE CAR ISN'T HIS.

OH?

YEAH, THE MINUTE I
SHOWED HIM MY BADGE,

HE BLURTS OUT THAT HE STOLE IT.

OHHH.

YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND OUT ANYWAY.

MAYBE.

CAR THIEF, HUH?

OH, NO.

IT WAS A CRAZY IMPULSE.

LOOK, TIMES WERE TOUGH FOR ME.

I WAS JUST OUT OF THE SERVICE.

I DIDN'T HAVE A JOB, NO FUTURE.

I WAS DEPRESSED ABOUT SPUTNIK.

THE DeSOTO REPRESENTED
EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED,

EVERYTHING I COULDN'T HAVE.

EXACTLY WHEN DID
YOU STEAL THIS CAR?

OCTOBER 6, 1957.

THAT'S ALMOST 25 YEARS AGO.

BUT THAT CAR LOOKS AS GOOD TODAY

AS IT DID THE DAY
THAT I STOLE IT.

YEAH, IT'S TRUE.

HE LET ME DRIVE IT DOWN
HERE. IT HANDLES GREAT.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

WE'LL REMEMBER TO
PUT THAT IN YOUR REPORT.

THANK YOU.

YOU WANT ME TO CHECK
WITH THE D.A.'s OFFICE

ABOUT STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS?

HE ONLY HIT YOU 10 MINUTES AGO.

UH, PARK IT RIGHT THERE.

THAT'S FUNNY.

CAPTAIN, WE GOT A COP IN
TROUBLE IN WASHINGTON SQUARE.

MAY BE SOME SHOTS FIRED.

OKAY, THAT'S EVERYBODY.

BREAK OUT SOME WEAPONS.

PUT HIM IN THE CAGE.
YEAH, IN THE CAGE.

I JUST SAT DOWN.

IN THE CAGE.

HARRIS.

I JUST FINISHED
MY FILING, BARNEY.

FINE.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT THEM. LET'S GO.

NO HEROICS. I DON'T WANT
ANYBODY GETTING HURT.

LET'S RIDE.

WHOSE CAR ARE THEY TAKING?

DOUGHNUTS.

TRY AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

I KNOW SOMEBODY
CAN GET HURT, BUT...

SIR, YOUR CRULLER.

UH, I'M AFRAID WE'RE A
LITTLE SHORTHANDED NOW.

I'M AVAILABLE.

LOOK, IF YOU GIVE ME A
MINUTE, MAYBE I CAN FIND OUT

IF THERE'S A SQUAD CAR
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

SIR, I'LL TAKE IT.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I DO HAVE SOMEONE.

YES, HE'LL BE RIGHT OVER.

YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME.

WHAT'S THE CASE, SIR?

CONSTRUCTION SITE
OVER ON AMSTERDAM.

SOME KIDS CLIMBING
ALL OVER THE EQUIPMENT.

YOU GOT TO CHASE THEM OFF.

THAT'S IT?

I'M AFRAID SO.

OH.

COULDN'T YOU SEND A
SQUAD CAR FOR THAT?

I WAS GOING TO.

OF COURSE.

PERHAPS WE CAN TAKE ON THE
LITTLE HEATHENS TOGETHER, SIR?

GOODBYE, LEVITT.

I GET THE PICTURE, SIR.

SAVE SOME FOR THE GUYS.

COME ON, SLATIC,
GET INSIDE HERE.

IF YOU DON'T RESPECT THE MAN,
AT LEAST RESPECT THE UNIFORM!

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?

YOU TELL ME.

BARNEY, THIS IS
OUR COP IN TROUBLE.

WHAT?

THESE TWO GUYS ANSWER TO YOU?

YES, I'M CAPTAIN MILLER.

OFFICER EARL SLATIC...
SANITATION POLICE.

OH.

I THINK YOUR BOYS HERE
MADE A LITTLE MISTAKE.

NO, WE DIDN'T.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, WHEN WE GOT
TO THE PARK, UH...

OFFICER EARL HERE WAS
PRODDING A MR. ANTHONY PAGLIA

WITH HIS NIGHTSTICK,

FORCING HIM TO CRAWL
AROUND ON THE GROUND

AND PICK UP ASSORTED CIGARETTE
BUTTS AND CANDY WRAPPERS.

THAT SLOB THREW A SNICKERS
BAR DOWN ON THE GRASS,

AND I MADE HIM GET
DOWN THERE WITH IT.

COULDN'T YOU JUST
ASK HIM TO PICK IT UP?

I TRIED THAT.

I IDENTIFIED MYSELF AS
A SANITATION OFFICER,

AND HE LAUGHED AT ME
AND JUST KEPT WALKING.

THAT'S WHEN MR. SLATIC
TOLD HIM TO FREEZE.

FIRED TWO WARNING
SHOTS IN THE AIR.

WARNING SHOTS?

WELL, YOU DON'T MAKE A MESS
ON MY BEAT AND JUST WALK AWAY.

ANYWAY, MR. PAGLIA SIGNED A
COMPLAINT RIGHT ON THE SPOT

AND THEN MENTIONED SOMETHING
ABOUT MOVING TO MAINE.

GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH.

OFFICER SLATIC, ARE YOU AWARE
THAT YOU'VE OPENED YOURSELF

TO CHARGES OF
HARASSMENT, COERCION,

PROBABLY RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT?

LOOK, YOU GOT YOUR LAWS
TO ENFORCE, AND I GOT MINE.

I MEAN, WE ALL WANT
CLEAN SIDEWALKS, RIGHT?

UNCLOGGED DRAINS, TRASH
PACKED NEATLY IN CANS,

METAL CANS, WITH LIDS ON TIGHT

SO THAT THE STINKIN' SEWER RATS

AREN'T SWARMING ALL OVER
THIS CITY, LIVING OFF OUR FILTH!

THAT'S HARDLY A REASON TO
SHOOT AT SOMEBODY FOR LITTERING.

HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING?

DIETRICH, GET A STATEMENT.

WHAT?! YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BOOK ME, ARE YOU?

YES!

WE'RE ALL COPS. WE DON'T DO
STUFF LIKE THAT TO EACH OTHER.

OH, YES, WE DO.

SIT DOWN.

YOU KNOW, I SPENT
SEVEN STINKING YEARS

HANGING OFF THE
BACK OF THAT TRUCK.

SEVEN YEARS, GETTING
UP AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING,

IN THE RAIN, IN THE SNOW, PICKING
UP OTHER PEOPLE'S GARBAGE.

PEOPLE WHO TREATED ME LIKE SCUM.

WHO CARES?

I WOULD GO TO ALL
THE PARTIES, YOU KNOW?

I HEAR... I LISTEN TO
ALL THE SNIDE REMARKS

LIKE, "WHAT SCHOOL
YOU GO TO? PU?"

OR, " LOOK, IT'S THE
MAN FROM GLAD."

WHAT HAS FOUR WHEELS AND FLIES?

GET IN THERE.

BUT I NEVER LET IT BOTHER ME.

BECAUSE I KNEW
IF I JUST DID MY JOB,

JUST KEPT THE STREETS
AND MY NOSE CLEAN,

ONE DAY I'D BE PROMOTED TO THIS.

THEN WE'D SEE WHO'S LAUGHING.

NOT ME.

SO WHAT DOES HAVE
FOUR WHEELS AND FLIES?

YOU ASK ME THAT AGAIN,
AND I'LL RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT.

I'M GOING TO SIT DOWN NOW.

ANYTHING SHAKING?

YEAH.

I CHECKED HILYER FOR
PRIORS, AND HE'S CLEAN.

OKAY.

THEN I CHECKED OUT THE CAR.

I DUG UP A STOLEN-VEHICLE
REPORT FROM 1957.

AND THEN I CALLED THE OWNER.

SHE'S COMING DOWN.

OKAY.

ANYTHING SHAKING WITH YOU?

NO, NOT REALLY.

YOU'RE NOT TALKING
TO ME, EITHER.

WHAT?

EVER SINCE YOU STARTED
THIS... THING WITH HARRIS,

NO ONE IS TALKING TO
ANYONE AROUND HERE.

WOJO... UNLESS
IT'S DUTY-RELATED.

LOOK, YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE
WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?

TALK TO MR. HARRIS.

I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN
TO RECONCILE WITH THE MAN,

AND HE JUST KEEPS
PUTTING ME OFF.

EXCUSE ME.

HEY, RON, WE WERE
JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.

IT'S OKAY.

I'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN A SECOND.

WHY DON'T WE GET
THAT... OVER HERE?

- HARRIS.
- YEAH?

MY OFFICE.

WHY?

PROBLEM WITH THE
CRIME STATISTICS?

UH, RON, IT'S YOUR AGENT.

OH.

UH...

TELL HIM I'LL CALL
HIM BACK... TONIGHT.

HE SAID IF YOU'RE NOT AT
THAT MEETING IN AN HOUR,

YOU'RE GONNA BLOW THE BOOK DEAL.

OH.

WELL, THAT'S THAT.

GO TO THE MEETING!

NO!

I'VE GOT WORK TO DO.

FORGET IT! WE'LL COVER
FOR YOU! I'LL COVER FOR YOU!

LOOK, WILL YOU GO HOME
AND WRITE THAT DAMN BOOK?!

I CAN'T!

WHAT?

I-I CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE.

I MEAN, THIS WHOLE
THING IS A JOKE.

UH, CAPTAIN, I THINK WE
GOT A REAL COP IN TROUBLE.

THERE'S A CONSTRUCTION
SITE ON AMSTERDAM.

THERE'S A COP DANGLING FROM
A SCAFFOLD ABOUT 10 FLIGHTS UP.

OH, MY GOD, THAT'S LEVITT. UH...

DIETRICH, YOU AND ME. BARNEY,
YOU CALL EMERGENCY SERVICES.

TELL THEM WE'RE GONNA
NEED A FIRE TRUCK.

YEAH.

UH... EXCUSE ME.

COME ON! LET'S GO!

WASN'T LEVITT ON WITH ANYBODY?

NO.

IT WAS A SIMPLE
CALL. ALL HE HAD TO DO

WAS CHASE A COUPLE
OF KIDS OFF A BULLDOZER.

I DIDN'T ANTICIPATE ANYTHING
LIKE THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN!

YEAH... IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I MEAN, AT LEAST WE'RE TALKING.

- I'LL CALL THE HOSPITAL.
- YEAH.

- YEAH.
- LEVITT IS FINE.

HE'S JUST FINE.

DIETRICH WENT OVER
TO BELLEVUE WITH HIM,

BUT EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

WELL... ACCORDING TO WITNESSES,

THERE WERE ASSORTED 8 AND
9-YEAR-OLDS UP ON THE 10th FLOOR

TAKING TURNS JUMPING UP AND DOWN

ON ONE OF THOSE SUSPENDED
PAINTER SCAFFOLDS.

PLAYING CHICKEN.

DIDN'T YOU EVER DO THAT?

WELL, WHEN IT GOT TO
BE THE FAT KID'S TURN,

ONE OF THE CABLE'S
SNAPPED AND LEFT ONE, UH...

HOWIE DROVISCH
SWAYING IN THE BREEZE

AND CLINGING ON TO THE
SAFETY RAIL FOR DEAR LIFE.

SOMEHOW, LEVITT
MANAGED TO GET UP THERE

AND SWING OUT ONTO THE SCAFFOLD.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO.

HE JUST YANKED THE KID
UP BY THE SEAT OF HIS PANTS,

THREW HIM BACK
INTO THE BUILDING,

AND THEN THAT'S WHEN
HE LOST HIS GRIP AND FELL.

FELL?

MADE A PERFECT
THREE-POINT LANDING

ON ANOTHER SCAFFOLD
ONE FLOOR BELOW.

OH, THANK GOD.

YEAH.

SO, BY THE TIME
DIETRICH AND I GOT THERE,

THE PARAMEDICS HAD
ALREADY REELED HIM IN,

AND THEY DIDN'T SEEM TO THINK
THAT ANYTHING WAS BROKEN.

GREAT.

OH, WHEN THEY BROUGHT HIM OUT

LEVITT TIPPED HIS HAT TO
THE CROWD AND GOT HIMSELF

A GREAT, BIG STANDING OVATION.

I GOT STATEMENTS FROM EVERYBODY

SO I'M GONNA WRITE THIS UP.

THANK YOU.

YOU NEED ANY HELP?

NAH, I CAN HANDLE IT.

BUT THANKS FOR THE THOUGHT.

Wojo: CAN I HELP YOU?

I'M NOT SURE. I THINK I
TOOK THE WRONG STAIRS.

UH-HUH.

I'M LOOKING FOR THE POLICEMAN
WHO FOUND MY DeSOTO.

ARE YOU MRS. SHAWCROSS?

YES.

I'M SERGEANT WOJCIEHOWICZ.
I TALKED TO YOU THIS MORNING.

OH, I APPRECIATE YOUR FINDING
ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

SURE.

DID YOU SEE YOUR CAR DOWNSTAIRS?

OH, WELL, HOW COULD I MISS IT?

I MEAN, IT'S SO BIG... AND PINK.

IT'S NOT PINK!

IT'S CORAL.

IT WAS A VERY POPULAR
SHADE THAT YEAR.

PERHAPS THAT'S WHY I BOUGHT IT.

UH, YOU WANT TO
HAVE A SEAT HERE?

WE'LL FINISH UP SOME PAPERWORK,

AND THEN YOU CAN
DRIVE YOUR CAR HOME.

OH.

OH, I HOPE I REMEMBER HOW.

YEAH, CAN I HELP YOU?

BURT BOSKIN,
DEPARTMENT OF SANITATION.

I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A
PROBLEM WITH ONE OF MY OFFICERS.

OH, YEAH. OFFICER EARL.

HE'S IN THE CAGE THERE.

I'LL GET THE CAPTAIN FOR YOU.

SLATIC!

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, MR. BOSKIN?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?

BEATS ME.

BOSKIN, I'M CAPTAIN MILLER.

CAPTAIN, I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED.

WHY IS THIS OFFICER IN JAIL?

THIS OFFICER TOOK
A SHOT AT SOMEBODY

FOR THROWING A CANDY
BAR ON THE GRASS.

YOU DID WHAT?!

HEY, DON'T YOU
START ON ME NOW, TOO.

SLATIC, WHAT HAPPENED
TO ALL YOUR TRAINING?

THESE MEN HAVE A STANDING ORDER,

AND WE DRILL IT INTO
THEIR HEADS EVERY DAY...

THE GUN STAYS IN THE HOLSTER...

UNLESS YOUR LIFE IS ON THE LINE.

THAT GUY WAS 2 FEET
FROM A TRASH CAN!

UH, CAPTAIN...

IS THERE SOMEPLACE THAT
WE COULD TALK IN PRIVATE?

YOU SEE, CAPTAIN,

OFFICER SLATIC IS
ONLY RECENTLY S.P.

S.P.?

SANITATION POLICE.

AND I JUST HATE TO THINK THAT
THIS ONE ISOLATED INCIDENT

WOULD SOIL AN OTHERWISE
PERFECT RECORD.

ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT MADMAN
COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEBODY.

COME ON. HE'S A ROOKIE.
YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE.

FRESH OFF THE TRUCK,
IN LOVE WITH THE UNIFORM.

THINKS HE'S GONNA CLEAN
UP THE CITY OVERNIGHT.

HE JUST GOT A LITTLE
OVERZEALOUS, THAT'S ALL.

YOU WERE PROBABLY
THE SAME WAY YOURSELF.

NO, I WAS NEVER A GARBAGE MAN.

I HATE THAT WORD.

LOOK, WHAT IS IT YOU WANT OF ME?

TURN SLATIC OVER TO ME.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

SOMEBODY SIGNED A
COMPLAINT AGAINST HIM.

LOOK, CAPTAIN, I DON'T THINK

YOU CAN FULLY APPRECIATE
MY SITUATION HERE.

OUR LITTLE FORCE HAS
HAD ONE SHAKE-UP AS IT IS.

YOU KNOW, SOME ROTTEN APPLES
DEMOTED FOR ABUSING THEIR RANK,

AND SEVERAL PATROLMEN SUSPENDED

FOR TURNING IN BOGUS CITATIONS.

I WASN'T AWARE OF THAT.

OH?

WELL, ANYWAY, WE PUT ALL
THAT BEHIND US, YOU KNOW?

AND WE'VE TAKEN STEPS
TO SOLVE THOSE PROBLEMS,

AND I JUST HATE TO THINK

THAT THE CITY'S GONNA
DUMP ON US AGAIN

JUST BECAUSE SLATIC
GOT NUTS WITH HIS GUN.

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE
CARRY GUNS ANYWAY?

WE'RE COPS.

NO, WE'RE COPS.
YOU'RE GARBAGE MEN.

YOU KEEP GOING BACK TO THAT.

EXCUSE ME.

YES?

I'M JOSEPH HILYER.

WE SPOKE EARLIER.

I'M THE GUY WHO STOLE
YOUR DeSOTO BACK IN '57.

I'M LOUISE SHAWCROSS.

HOW DO YOU DO?

UM... I MUST SAY, JOSEPH,

YOU'VE TAKEN VERY
GOOD CARE OF THE CAR.

SURE.

I DEVOTED HALF MY LIFE TO IT.

YOU MUST LOVE THE
DeSOTO VERY MUCH.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

WE HAVEN'T BEEN APART
FOR ONE DAY ALL THESE YEARS.

REALLY?

SURE.

YOU KNOW, I USED TO RUSH RIGHT
HOME EVERY DAY AFTER WORK

JUST TO SEE THAT SHE WAS OKAY.

AND ON THE WEEKENDS,
I USED TO PAMPER HER.

I USED TO WASH HER
WITH WARM, SUDSY WATER.

AND THEN I WOULD
TAKE A SOFT CHAMOIS,

AND I WOULD RUB HER AND RUB
HER UNTIL SHE WAS GLEAMING.

YOU KNOW, IF THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN,

I WAS GONNA SURPRISE
HER NEXT MONTH

WITH A SET OF CLASSIC PLATES...

YOU KNOW, FOR OUR
25th ANNIVERSARY.

AND NOW I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING.

IT'S OKAY.

IT'S STILL YOUR CAR.

OF COURSE, YOU'RE...

YOU'RE WELCOME TO COME
AND VISIT US FROM TIME TO TIME.

REALLY?

I-I LIKE BUBBLE BATHS, TOO.

OKAY, MR. BOSKIN.

THANKS FOR ALL
THE HELP, CAPTAIN.

PLEASE, FOR ONE OF THE BOYS?

HEY, MR. BOSKIN, WHAT ABOUT ME?

SORRY, SLATIC, THERE'S
NOTHING MORE I CAN DO FOR YOU.

WHAT? YOU MEAN I
GOT TO GO TO JAIL?

PROBABLY, BUT,
HEY... BEST OF LUCK.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, BOSKIN!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

NOBODY TURNS THEIR BACK ON ME!

FREEZE!

HE JUST WALKED AWAY.

EXCUSE ME.

CAPTAIN, I'VE TALKED
WITH MR. HILYER,

AND I THINK HE DESERVES
A SECOND CHANCE.

WHO ARE YOU?

BARN, THIS IS LOUISE SHAWCROSS.

SHE OWNS THE DeSOTO.

OH. OH, HELLO.

AND THE STATUTE OF
LIMITATIONS WAS, UH...

UP 18 YEARS AGO.

I CHECKED WITH THE
D.A.'s OFFICE FOR FUN.

WHAT ABOUT THE ASSAULT CHARGE?

TURN HIM LOOSE.

OKAY, HILYER,
YOU'RE GETTING OUT.

OH, THANK YOU.

OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

LISTEN, THANK YOU. YEAH, THANKS.

JOSEPH.

I'LL GET YOUR VALUABLES.

THIS IS MY PHONE NUMBER.

THANKS A LOT.

NOW, WHENEVER YOU GET THE
URGE TO SEE THE CAR... OR ME...

JUST GIVE US A RING.

WE'LL ALWAYS BE THERE.

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

MAIL CALL.

Wojo: HEY, LEVITT.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

LEVITT, MY GOD!

NO BIGGIE, SIR.

JUST A LITTLE SCAFFOLD-LASH...
ONLY TEMPORARY.

WELL, THAT'S SOMETHING, ANYWAY.

I SUPPOSE SERGEANT HARRIS
FILLED YOU IN ON THE DETAILS.

YES, YES. WE'RE VERY
PROUD OF YOU, LEVITT.

WELL, THANK YOU, SIR.

IF THERE'S NOTHING ELSE,
I HAVE A REPORT TO DO.

NO WAY, CARL.

HE'S GOT A FRACTURE WRIST,
A VERY DECENT NECK SPRAIN.

DOCTOR SAID HE SHOULD BE
OFF HIS FEET FOR TWO WEEKS.

OKAY. TAKE HIM HOME, DIETRICH.

BUT, SIR... LEVITT, GO
HOME. REST, RELAX.

YOU WANT TO BE IN GOOD SHAPE
FOR THE CEREMONY, DON'T YOU?

I'M GONNA PUT YOU UP
FOR A MEDAL OF VALOR.

HEY, ALL RIGHT.

SIR, YOU... YOU MUST
BE TOYING WITH ME.

NO, LEVITT.

I HARDLY DESERVE IT.

PERHAPS SERGEANT HARRIS
SIMPLY OVEREMBELLISHED.

NO. NO.

I STILL DON'T THINK
IT'S NECESSARY.

LEVITT, YOU SAVED
THE KID'S LIFE.

TAKE THE MEDAL.

WELL, IF YOU INSIST ON RAMMING
IT DOWN MY THROAT, SIR...

DIETRICH, GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

LET'S GO, CARL.

BIGMOUTH.

OH.

HERE.

OH.

OH, THANK YOU.

UH... HAPPY MOTORING.

UH... BARN, IT'S
ALMOST CHECKOUT TIME,

SO I THINK I'LL JUST RUN
MR. EARL DOWN TO THE TOMBS

AND GO ON HOME FROM THERE.

UNLESS YOU'D
RATHER STAY AND TALK.

LOOK... WHAT IT
REALLY COMES DOWN TO

IS THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN
ABLE TO WRITE A THING

SINCE "BLOOD ON THE BADGE."

I MEAN...

I TRIED.

I MEAN, I REALLY HAVE.

I SIT.

I STARE AT MY
TYPEWRITER, AND, UH...

NOTHING HAPPENS.

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE
PHONE CALLS FROM THE AGENT?

ALL THOSE MEETINGS?

WELL, YOU NEVER LET ME GO.

AND, UH... I REALLY
APPRECIATED IT.

WELL, YOU COULD TELL A PERSON.

SORRY.

ANYWAY, LOOK, IT'S
REALLY MY PROBLEM,

AND I'M THE ONE WHO'S REALLY
GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.

HEY, BUT...

LOOK, I'M SORRY IF I
HURT ANYBODY'S FEELINGS

BY DRAGGING IT IN HERE.

I... YOU SHOULDN'T BE SORRY.

I MEAN, IF ANY OF US
HAS GOT A PROBLEM, WE...

WE GOT TO GET IT OUT
IN THE OPEN TO SOLVE IT.

I SUPPOSE.

YEAH, I MEAN, YOU SAY
THAT YOU CAN'T WRITE.

I JUST FOUND OUT I'M STERILE.

I'M JUST BEGINNING
TO DEAL WITH THAT ONE.

THE POINT IS THAT WE CAN
WORK IT OUT TOGETHER.

OKAY.

JUST NOT IN THE SAME ROOM.

EXCUSE ME.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY CAR?