Barney Miller (1975–1982): Season 8, Episode 14 - The Arrival - full transcript
A disgruntled member burglarizes MENSA headquarters.
NO ONE AROUND, HUH?
NOT IF YOU DON'T COUNT ME,
SIR. I ASSUME YOU WEREN'T.
LEVITT, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
FORGIVE ME, SIR. I WOULDN'T
PRESUME TO PUT WORDS IN YOUR MOUTH.
I WAS INQUIRING AS
TO THE DISPOSITION
OF OUR FELLOW OFFICERS.
EXCELLENT CHOICE OF WORDS, SIR.
WOJO AND HARRIS RUSHED
OVER TO A DISTURBANCE
AT AN OFFICE ON PARK.
THEY ASK ME TO COVER.
AND SERGEANT DIETRICH
CALLED. SAID HE'D BE A LITTLE LATE.
THANK YOU.
HOW'S MRS. MILLER?
FINE, THANK YOU.
AND ALL THE LITTLE MILLERS?
HARDLY LITTLE ANY
MORE I'M AFRAID.
THEY DO GROW
UP, DON'T THEY, SIR?
THEY CERTAINLY DO.
CERTAINLY DO.
OF COURSE, I'M ONLY
GOING BY WHAT I HEAR
NOT BEING BLESSED
WITH A BROOD OF MY OWN.
WELL, THAT'S A PITY.
IT'S BY CHOICE, SIR.
I DENY MYSELF THE LOVE, THE
WARMTH, AND COMPANIONSHIP
OF A FAMILY UNTIL I
REACH A HIGHER RUNG
OF MY CHOSEN PROFESSION.
THAT'S REALLY NOT
NECESSARY, LEVITT.
I MEAN, I WAS STILL IN
BLUES WHEN I HAD MY FIRST.
AN ACCIDENT OF PASSION, SIR?
MORNING.
GOOD MORNING, DIETRICH.
I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
THAT'S OKAY.
UH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA ASK ME WHY?
IF I FELT THAT AN
EXPLANATION WAS NECESSARY,
I WOULD ASK FOR ONE.
YEAH, BUT YOU ALWAYS ASK WOJO.
I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO
THE SAME CONSIDERATION.
ALL RIGHT, WHY WERE YOU LATE?
MY ALARM CLOCK DIDN'T GO OFF.
WASN'T WORTH THE
TROUBLE, WAS IT?
OKAY, MR. KRONER,
JUST STEP INSIDE.
BUT I GET TO MAKE THAT
PHONE CALL NOW, RIGHT?
YES, YOU CAN CALL YOUR LAWYER.
I WANT TO CALL MY MOTHER.
WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
UH, IRWIN KRONER. HE'S AN ACTOR.
HIT HIS AGENT IN THE
HEAD WITH A TELEPHONE.
YOU MIGHT SAY HE REACHED
OUT AND TOUCHED SOMEONE.
THE GUY WOULDN'T
TAKE MY PHONE CALLS.
AND THEN HE
WOULDN'T RETURN THEM.
HE PUT ME ON HOLD, AND THEN
HE'D NEVER GOT OFF THE LINE.
WELL, THAT'S
PROVOCATIVE, I'LL ADMIT,
BUT HARDLY JUSTIFIES ASSAULT.
OH, LOOK, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO HIT HIM.
I ONLY WANTED HIM TO PHONE THIS
PRODUCER ABOUT A PART FOR ME.
BUT HE VACILLATED,
SO I INSISTENTLY
OFFERED HIM THE PHONE,
AND I-I CHIPPED HIS... TOOTH.
I SEE.
AND CUT HIS LIP.
MM-HMM.
AND HIS EYE.
THE, UH... AGENT IS
ONE HAROLD LIPKIN.
HE'S ON HIS WAY TO
BELLEVUE TO GET STITCHES.
THEN HE'S COMING DOWN
HERE TO PRESS CHARGES.
ALL RIGHT. RIGHT HERE.
12th PRECINCT.
SERGEANT DIETRICH.
YOU'RE LUCKY
MR. LIPKIN ISN'T A COP.
HE WOULDN'T TAKE THE CALL.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
TWO GUYS IN A BEEF IN THE PARK.
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH.
UH... TAKE LEVITT.
FIGURES.
SERGEANT WOJCIEHOWICZ
WILL TAKE YOUR STATEMENT.
OH, I BETTER NOT SAY ANY
MORE UNTIL I TALK TO MY MOM.
OKAY.
WE MAY HAVE TO PUT YOU ON HOLD.
VERY GOOD.
WELL, YOU LOOK
REALLY FAMILIAR TO ME.
HAVE I EVER SEEN YOU ACT?
YEAH, YEAH.
YOU PROBABLY HAVE.
I'M LITTLE CORKY CARTER.
THE KID ACTOR?
STAR AT 10, HAS-BEEN AT 11.
WHAT HAPPENED?
PUBERTY.
MY VOICE CHANGED,
I GREW A FOOT AND
A HALF IN A YEAR,
AND HAIR CAME OUT ON MY ARMS.
I WAS FINISHED.
OH, I'M SORRY.
YEAH, YEAH. FORGET IT.
WELL... YOU WERE REALLY GOOD.
THANKS.
PARDON ME.
YES, MA'AM. MAY I HELP YOU?
I'M LOOKING FOR
SERGEANT ARTHUR DIETRICH.
HE'S, UM... HE'S OUT ON A CALL.
BUT, UM... I'M SERGEANT HARRIS.
HOW DO YOU DO?
APPARENTLY NOT AS WELL
AS ARTHUR, BUT I MANAGE.
CAN I BE OF HELP?
OH, THIS ISN'T POLICE BUSINESS.
OH, NO, IT'S A,
UH... SOCIAL CALL.
I HAD A FEELING.
THAT'S HIS DESK,
AND HE SHOULD BE BACK
SOON, IF YOU'D CARE TO WAIT.
THANK YOU.
I'D LIKE TO FRESHEN UP.
IS THERE A LADIES' ROOM?
WHEN THERE'S A LADY IN IT.
CAN I TAKE YOUR BAGS?
THANK YOU.
SORRY TO PUT YOU
THROUGH SO MUCH TROUBLE.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- I'LL GET IT.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
MR. DeLUCA?
HELLO, SERGEANT.
COME ON, NOT AGAIN.
THIS TIME I'M ARRESTED.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
YOU REMEMBER MR. DeLUCA,
OUR GOOD SAMARITAN?
WENT TO THE AID OF A LADY IN
DISTRESS, GOT HIMSELF MUGGED?
AH, YES. MR. DeLUCA,
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
A MR. FELCH CLAIMED HE
WAS SITTING IN THE PARK
EATING A HOT DOG WHEN
MR. DeLUCA ATTACKED HIM.
WHAT?
WELL, HE'S MISTAKEN
BECAUSE HE WAS CHOKING.
Barney: WHERE'S FELCH?
- DIETRICH?
- HUH?
WHERE'S MR. FELCH?
OH, HE'S GOT A COUPLE
OF BROKEN RIBS.
HE'S IN EMERGENCY.
YOU BROKE HIS RIBS?
WELL, I USED THE
HEIMLICH MANEUVER.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
TO SAVE A CHOKER.
A QUICK JERK BELOW THE RIB CAGE
FORCES AIR UP
THROUGH THE WINDPIPE
AND DISLODGES THE OBSTRUCTION.
IF I MAY SHOW YOU...
I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE MANEUVER.
THAT'S IT?
DIETRICH?
HUH?
THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY?
WHAT?
THAT MR. DeLUCA MAY
HAVE SAVED MR. FELCH'S LIFE.
YEAH.
BROKEN RIBS ARE ALWAYS A RISK
WHEN THE HEIMLICH
MANEUVER IS USED.
BUT MOST PEOPLE
PREFER THAT TO DEATH.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL TRY
AND STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT
WHEN MR. FELCH GETS HERE.
IN THE MEANTIME, MAKE
YOURSELF AT HOME.
THANKS.
HELLO, ARTHUR.
HELLO. WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHAT A COINCIDENCE. SO WAS I.
OH, I FIND THAT EMBARRASSING.
I THINK IT'S KIND OF
TOUCHING, MYSELF.
I'LL BET HE'S GOT HIS EYES OPEN.
WELL, UH... HOW NICE
TO SEE YOU AFTER...
YEAH, WHAT? 14 YEARS?
14 YEARS.
IT WAS THE LAST WEEKEND
OF THE COLUMBIA RIOTS.
YEAH, WEREN'T WE
THE ACTIVISTS, THOUGH?
WHAT A WEEKEND.
YEAH.
WE CERTAINLY WERE... ACTIVE.
UH, YEAH.
UH, CYNTHIA, THIS IS
SERGEANT WOJCIEHOWICZ.
HI.
SERGEANT HARRIS.
WE'VE MET.
NORMAN DeLUCA.
Kroner: IRWIN KRONER.
FORMERLY LITTLE CORKY CARTER.
THIS IS CAPTAIN
MILLER. CYNTHIA REESE.
MS. REESE.
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT'S
MRS. BARROW NOW.
OH, RIGHT.
I SENT YOU A WEDDING INVITATION.
I SENT YOU A TOASTER.
OLD ACQUAINTANCES, I TAKE IT.
UH-HUH.
UH, OUR SALAD DAYS.
ARTHUR AND I SHARED A
ROOM IN A MOTEL OFF CAMPUS.
OH.
YEAH, WELL, IT WASN'T
EXACTLY A WALDORF SALAD.
WE'RE ALL SO SURPRISED WHEN
ARTHUR BECAME A POLICE MAN.
AT MED SCHOOL HE WAS
VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED.
KIND OF ASSUMED THAT.
I WAS JUST SURE BY NOW
THAT YOU'D BE IN RESEARCH
DOING WONDERFUL THINGS
WITH PARTS OF THE HUMAN BODY.
WELL, IN MY OWN SMALL WAY.
CAPTAIN, WOULD YOU
CARE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE?
THAT'S TEA.
THAT'S FOR SERGEANT HARRIS.
TRY AND STOP HIM.
MRS. BARROW?
YES, THAT WOULD BE NICE.
MAKE IT TWO... ONE
BLACK, ONE SUGAR,
BLACK, NO SUGAR.
CORRECT.
I'LL BRING IT TO YOUR DESK.
THANKS. COME ON, HAVE A SEAT.
THANK YOU.
OH, EXCUSE ME, I'M MRS. KRONER.
OH, YOU MUST BE CORKY'S MOM.
WHERE IS HE?
HE'S BEHIND YOU... IN THE CAGE.
IN THE CAGE?
OH, MY DARLING.
OH, HOW COULD YOU LOCK
HIM UP LIKE AN ANIMAL?
A BOY WITH HIS CREDITS.
WELL, THAT'S THE RULES.
THERE'S AN OLDER
RULE... THE LAW OF NATURE.
YOU DO NOT SEPARATE
A MOTHER AND HER CHILD.
NO, MA'AM.
WELL, THEN EITHER LET
HIM OUT OR LET ME IN.
I CANNOT TALK TO HIM
THROUGH THOSE BARS.
I AM NOT BETTE DAVIS.
GUESS IT WON'T HURT.
HERE WE GO.
THANK YOU.
I'LL HAVE CLEAN CUPS
IN A FEW MINUTES.
SO, AFTER EDDIE
GRADUATED, WE GOT MARRIED.
HE'S AN ANESTHESIOLOGIST NOW.
GREAT.
I, UH...
I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW
THAT I AM VERY HAPPILY MARRIED.
PERFECT.
AND THAT COMING UP HERE
TODAY TO SEE YOU TODAY WAS...
AN IMPULSE.
FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.
AND I APPRECIATE IT.
I JUST WOULDN'T WANT
YOU TO MISUNDERSTAND.
COME ON, WE'RE TWO OLD FRIENDS.
SHIPS THAT PAST IN THE NIGHT.
HANDS ACROSS THE SEA.
HOW ABOUT LUNCH?
WELL, UM...
I WOULDN'T WANT TO TAKE
UP TOO MUCH OF YOUR TIME.
WHAT, LUNCH?
QUICK DRINK, QUICK SANDWICH.
I'D LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
OH.
NO, YOU CAN LEAVE THE PACKAGES.
OH, OKAY.
UH, OUT TO LUNCH.
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
IT'S 12:35.
BE BACK, UH... SOMETIME TODAY.
OR NOT.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WERE 7 YEARS OLD
AND YOU DID THAT
WONDERFUL SCENE IN JAIL,
WHERE THEY TOOK YOUR BIG
BROTHER TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR?
OH, HOW YOU CRIED.
YOU WERE JUST MARVELOUS.
AND THE WHOLE WORLD
CRIED WHEN YOU CRIED.
MA, I CRIED AFTER
THE DIRECTOR TOLD ME
YOU GOT HIT BY A STREETCAR
AND THAT YOU DIED
IN THE AMBULANCE
ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL
AND I WAS NEVER
GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN.
MM-HMM.
THEN HE STUCK ME WITH A PIN.
DeLuca: ANYONE FOR A REFILL?
UH, NO, THANK YOU.
CAPTAIN, I COULDN'T
HELP NOTICING
THAT YOUR PLANTS
SEEM TO BE DYING.
OH?
IF YOU LIKE, I COULD
TALK TO THEM FOR YOU.
PEOPLE SAY I HAVE
A GREEN TONGUE.
BARN?
THERE'S A MR. FELCH
HERE ABOUT MR. DeLUCA.
OH, RIGHT.
LET ME SEE IF WE CAN
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
MR. FELCH.
THAT'S HIM! THAT'S THE GUY!
ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT
EASY. TAKE IT EASY.
I'M CAPTAIN MILLER.
I'D SHAKE YOUR HAND, BUT
I GOT TWO CRACKED RIBS.
WELL, I WAS TRYING TO HELP.
YEAH, TRYING TO HELP
YOURSELF TO MY WALLET.
MR. FELCH, I THINK
YOU MAY HAVE MISINTERPRETED
MR. DeLUCA'S ACTIONS.
WHAT'S TO MISINTERPRET?
I GET SOMETHING
CAUGHT IN MY THROAT,
NEXT THING I KNOW,
THIS CREEP OVER HERE
HAS GOT A BEAR HUG ON ME
AND PUTS HIS FIST
THROUGH MY STOMACH.
THAT'S THE WAY IT'S DONE.
MR. FELCH, HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD OF THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER?
SURE.
KRAUTS PULLED IT IN '43.
THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER
IS A METHOD OF SAVING
A CHOKING VICTIM.
MR. DeLUCA SAW THAT YOU
WERE HAVING DIFFICULTY...
OH, COME ON, HUH? WHERE
DO I SIGN THE COMPLAINT?
I ASSURE YOU
MR. DeLUCA WAS ONLY...
LOOK, LOOK, ALL I KNOW
IS I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN,
AND I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
SO CAN WE GET ON
WITH THIS THING?
I'M AFRAID SERGEANT HARRIS
IS GONNA HAVE TO BOOK YOU.
I UNDERSTAND.
THE MAN HAS A WOODEN LEG!
HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
JUST HAVE A SEAT, HUH?
HELLO, AGAIN.
HAROLD LIPKIN.
AH, YES.
THE AGENT.
OVER HERE. HAVE
A SEAT, MR. LIPKIN.
INGRATE!
AH!
I SEE YOU'VE GOT THE
RIGHT PERSON BEHIND BARS.
YOU'VE GOT A NERVE
TALKING LIKE THAT.
YOU HAVE LIVED OFF CORKY'S
FLESH, BLOOD, AND TALENT
UNTIL ALL HE'S GOT
LEFT IS HIS CARCASS.
I'M NOT A CARCASS.
OH, IT'S JUST A
FIGURE OF SPEECH.
WELL, THEN DON'T
CALL ME A CARCASS.
HEMLOCK MANEUVER...
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
WHO DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DEALING WITH HERE?
SOME YOKEL WHO
JUST GOT OFF THE FARM?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING...
I'VE SPENT 25
YEARS IN THIS CITY,
AND I KNOW ALL ABOUT PEOPLE.
NOBODY DOES NOTHING FOR
NOBODY BUT THEMSELVES.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M A LITTLE CYNICAL.
SO EXCUSE ME FOR NOT
BELIEVING IN TINKERBELL.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE SAYING THAT
YOU SAW ME IN TROUBLE,
SO YOU CAME OVER, FOR NO REASON,
WITH NOTHING IN IT FOR
YOU, AND SAVED MY LIFE.
YES.
YOU'RE SICK!
MR. FELCH.
I DON'T BELIEVE HIM.
DO YOU BELIEVE HIM?
I BELIEVE HIM.
SIGN RIGHT HERE.
A MAN IS WALKING IN A PARK,
MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS,
WHEN ALL OF A
SUDDEN, FOR NO REASON,
HE DECIDES TO
SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
SIGN RIGHT HERE.
HEY, DON'T RUSH ME, ALL RIGHT?
MR. FELCH, ARE YOU GONNA
SIGN THE COMPLAINT OR NOT?
MAYBE YES, MAYBE NO.
MR. FELCH... AH, FORGET IT.
I CHANGED MY MIND.
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO PEOPLE?
COME ON, MR. DeLUCA,
YOU'RE FREE TO GO, TOO.
IF YOU'RE SURE I CAN'T BE
ANY MORE HELP UP HERE.
OH, MR. DeLUCA, JUST GO HOME.
AND, LOOK, REMEMBER, THERE'S
AN OLD CHINESE PROVERB...
SAVE A MAN'S LIFE, AND
HE'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
HEY, I'M NOT CHINESE.
THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE DAMN CLEVER.
OKAY, MR. LIPKIN, YOU
GONNA SIGN THAT OR NOT?
I WILL NOT LET YOU
SEND MY SON TO PRISON.
I'D BE DOING HIM A FAVOR!
THE ENVIRONMENT WOULD
BE AN IMPROVEMENT.
OH, HO HO, KILL A MOTHER.
WHEN ALL ELSE
FAILS, KILL A MOTHER.
WILL YOU FACE IT?!
THE ONLY REASON CORKY WAS A STAR
WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A CUTE KID!
BUT HE'S NO ACTOR!
KIDS DON'T ACT!
THEY LAUGH, THEY CRY,
THEIR NOSES RUN A LITTLE!
CUTE!
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE A STAR
JUST LIKE YOU WERE BEFORE
IN SPITE OF PARASITES LIKE HIM.
WILL YOU LEAVE
HIM ALONE ALREADY?!
DO YOU SEE WHAT SHE DOES TO HIM?
SHIRLEY TEMPLE DOESN'T
TAP-DANCE ANYMORE!
SHE'S AN AMBASSADOR.
JACKIE COOPER PUT
AWAY HIS LOWER LIP.
HE'S A CAPTAIN IN THE
NAVY, FOR GOD'S SAKES!
MICKEY ROONEY IS STILL A STAR.
HE'S JUST LUCKY. HE
HASN'T GROWN ONE INCH.
YOU THINK I HAVEN'T
TRIED TO GET HIM PARTS?
I'VE TRIED. I'VE TRIED.
MR. LIPKIN, DO YOU WANT
TO SIGN THE COMPLAINT?
NO! I DIDN'T COME DOWN
HERE TO PUT HIM IN JAIL.
I CAME DOWN TO TALK SENSE.
OKAY, THEN I CAN LET HIM OUT?
GOOD. LET HIM OUT. KEEP HER.
I CAN'T DO THAT, MR. LIPKIN.
SHE'S NOT UNDER ARREST.
UNDER ARREST.
I COULD BE IF I DID
WHAT I WANT TO TO YOU.
PARASITE!
THANK YOU. FROM YOU,
THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
- A COMPLIMENT?!
- STAGE MOTHER,
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE...
A STAGE MOTHER TO A GROWN MAN.
WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP
ALREADY, THE BOTH OF YOU?!
NOW SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
YOU'VE UPSET CORKY.
I'M NOT CORKY, MA! I'M IRWIN.
I'M NOT GONNA BE
A STAR AGAIN, MA.
THAT'S OVER.
OH, NO, NO. NOW, DON'T
YOU TALK LIKE THAT.
I'M NOT AN ACTOR.
I NEVER WANTED TO BE AN ACTOR.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
YOU WERE GORGEOUS!
MA, YOU NEVER ONCE ASKED
ME WHAT I WANTED TO BE,
DID YOU, EVER ONCE?
ASK ME.
ASK YOU WHAT?
ASK ME WHAT I WANT TO BE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
A TRUCK DRIVER... A REAL PERSON!
I WANT TO BE THE GUY
THAT SITS HIGH IN THE CAB
OF ONE OF THOSE
BIG SEMIS, YOU KNOW?
ROARING ACROSS THE HIGHWAYS
AND BYWAYS OF AMERICA.
I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL
OF ALL THAT POWER
IN MY OWN TWO HANDS.
I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL
OF MY OWN DESTINY, MA.
I WANT TO SEE REAL
PEOPLE AND REAL PLACES.
WHEN I TALK INTO A MIKE, MA,
I WANT IT TO BE INTO ONE OF
THEM C.B. RADIOS, YOU KNOW?
TALKING TO MY GOOD BUDDY.
SAYING THINGS I WANT TO SAY,
NOT WHAT SOME HACK WROTE.
AND, MA, WHAT I
WANT TO SAY IS...
TO HELL WITH SHOW BUSINESS!
CORKY, YOU CAN'T MEAN IT.
IRWIN, I'M GOING TO HELP YOU.
YOU ARE?
YES. I'VE GOT A COUSIN
IN THE TRUCKING
BUSINESS IN JERSEY.
I'M GONNA TALK TO HIM.
HE BELIEVED ME,
MA. YOU BELIEVED ME.
YOU SEE THAT? YOU
BELIEVED ME, MR. LIPKIN.
THAT WAS A GOOD
PERFORMANCE, HUH?
NO. THAT'S WHY I'M GONNA GET
YOU A JOB AS A TRUCK DRIVER.
BUT I DON'T EVEN HAVE A
DRIVER'S LICENSE, MR. LIPKIN.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
HAD ME GOING.
YOU WERE MARVELOUS.
MA, HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.
I BELIEVED YOU.
I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOU.
MA... I DON'T WANT
TO DRIVE A TRUCK.
THE LUNCH WAS MARVELOUS...
IMPECCABLY PREPARED,
BEAUTIFULLY SERVED.
WELL, IT'S A VERY POPULAR PLACE.
WE WERE LUCKY WE GOT STOOLS.
I LOVED IT.
I WILL SAY, HOWEVER,
I THINK THE TOUR WAS
A LITTLE DEPRESSING.
WELL, I JUST THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT LIKE
TO SEE THE GUTS
OF A POLICE STATION.
EVERYBODY SHOULD.
THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING,
I THINK EVERYBODY WILL.
WELL, IT'S GETTING LATE.
ONLY 4:15.
IT WAS REALLY LOVELY
TO SEE YOU AGAIN, ARTIE.
LOVELY IS THE WORD.
WE'LL HAVE TO DO
IT AGAIN SOMETIME.
YEAH.
BYE.
THANKS.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
YEAH.
MAY I GIVE EDDIE YOUR BEST?
I THINK HE'S ALREADY GOT IT.
UH... SORRY ABOUT
THE LONG LUNCH.
YEAH.
CHARMING GIRL.
COULD HAVE BEEN.
LOOK, I'VE ALWAYS INSISTED
ON BEING THE BEST
AT WHATEVER I DID.
I COULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD DOCTOR,
BUT I KNEW I WOULDN'T BE
THE BEST DOCTOR IN THE WORLD.
I COULD HAVE BEEN
A GOOD LAWYER...
OR A GOOD HUSBAND,
BUT I KNEW I
WOULDN'T BE THE BEST.
THAT'S WHY I BECAME A COP.
WELL, PRESENT COMPANY EXCEPTED.
NOT IF YOU DON'T COUNT ME,
SIR. I ASSUME YOU WEREN'T.
LEVITT, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
FORGIVE ME, SIR. I WOULDN'T
PRESUME TO PUT WORDS IN YOUR MOUTH.
I WAS INQUIRING AS
TO THE DISPOSITION
OF OUR FELLOW OFFICERS.
EXCELLENT CHOICE OF WORDS, SIR.
WOJO AND HARRIS RUSHED
OVER TO A DISTURBANCE
AT AN OFFICE ON PARK.
THEY ASK ME TO COVER.
AND SERGEANT DIETRICH
CALLED. SAID HE'D BE A LITTLE LATE.
THANK YOU.
HOW'S MRS. MILLER?
FINE, THANK YOU.
AND ALL THE LITTLE MILLERS?
HARDLY LITTLE ANY
MORE I'M AFRAID.
THEY DO GROW
UP, DON'T THEY, SIR?
THEY CERTAINLY DO.
CERTAINLY DO.
OF COURSE, I'M ONLY
GOING BY WHAT I HEAR
NOT BEING BLESSED
WITH A BROOD OF MY OWN.
WELL, THAT'S A PITY.
IT'S BY CHOICE, SIR.
I DENY MYSELF THE LOVE, THE
WARMTH, AND COMPANIONSHIP
OF A FAMILY UNTIL I
REACH A HIGHER RUNG
OF MY CHOSEN PROFESSION.
THAT'S REALLY NOT
NECESSARY, LEVITT.
I MEAN, I WAS STILL IN
BLUES WHEN I HAD MY FIRST.
AN ACCIDENT OF PASSION, SIR?
MORNING.
GOOD MORNING, DIETRICH.
I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
THAT'S OKAY.
UH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA ASK ME WHY?
IF I FELT THAT AN
EXPLANATION WAS NECESSARY,
I WOULD ASK FOR ONE.
YEAH, BUT YOU ALWAYS ASK WOJO.
I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO
THE SAME CONSIDERATION.
ALL RIGHT, WHY WERE YOU LATE?
MY ALARM CLOCK DIDN'T GO OFF.
WASN'T WORTH THE
TROUBLE, WAS IT?
OKAY, MR. KRONER,
JUST STEP INSIDE.
BUT I GET TO MAKE THAT
PHONE CALL NOW, RIGHT?
YES, YOU CAN CALL YOUR LAWYER.
I WANT TO CALL MY MOTHER.
WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
UH, IRWIN KRONER. HE'S AN ACTOR.
HIT HIS AGENT IN THE
HEAD WITH A TELEPHONE.
YOU MIGHT SAY HE REACHED
OUT AND TOUCHED SOMEONE.
THE GUY WOULDN'T
TAKE MY PHONE CALLS.
AND THEN HE
WOULDN'T RETURN THEM.
HE PUT ME ON HOLD, AND THEN
HE'D NEVER GOT OFF THE LINE.
WELL, THAT'S
PROVOCATIVE, I'LL ADMIT,
BUT HARDLY JUSTIFIES ASSAULT.
OH, LOOK, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO HIT HIM.
I ONLY WANTED HIM TO PHONE THIS
PRODUCER ABOUT A PART FOR ME.
BUT HE VACILLATED,
SO I INSISTENTLY
OFFERED HIM THE PHONE,
AND I-I CHIPPED HIS... TOOTH.
I SEE.
AND CUT HIS LIP.
MM-HMM.
AND HIS EYE.
THE, UH... AGENT IS
ONE HAROLD LIPKIN.
HE'S ON HIS WAY TO
BELLEVUE TO GET STITCHES.
THEN HE'S COMING DOWN
HERE TO PRESS CHARGES.
ALL RIGHT. RIGHT HERE.
12th PRECINCT.
SERGEANT DIETRICH.
YOU'RE LUCKY
MR. LIPKIN ISN'T A COP.
HE WOULDN'T TAKE THE CALL.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
TWO GUYS IN A BEEF IN THE PARK.
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH.
UH... TAKE LEVITT.
FIGURES.
SERGEANT WOJCIEHOWICZ
WILL TAKE YOUR STATEMENT.
OH, I BETTER NOT SAY ANY
MORE UNTIL I TALK TO MY MOM.
OKAY.
WE MAY HAVE TO PUT YOU ON HOLD.
VERY GOOD.
WELL, YOU LOOK
REALLY FAMILIAR TO ME.
HAVE I EVER SEEN YOU ACT?
YEAH, YEAH.
YOU PROBABLY HAVE.
I'M LITTLE CORKY CARTER.
THE KID ACTOR?
STAR AT 10, HAS-BEEN AT 11.
WHAT HAPPENED?
PUBERTY.
MY VOICE CHANGED,
I GREW A FOOT AND
A HALF IN A YEAR,
AND HAIR CAME OUT ON MY ARMS.
I WAS FINISHED.
OH, I'M SORRY.
YEAH, YEAH. FORGET IT.
WELL... YOU WERE REALLY GOOD.
THANKS.
PARDON ME.
YES, MA'AM. MAY I HELP YOU?
I'M LOOKING FOR
SERGEANT ARTHUR DIETRICH.
HE'S, UM... HE'S OUT ON A CALL.
BUT, UM... I'M SERGEANT HARRIS.
HOW DO YOU DO?
APPARENTLY NOT AS WELL
AS ARTHUR, BUT I MANAGE.
CAN I BE OF HELP?
OH, THIS ISN'T POLICE BUSINESS.
OH, NO, IT'S A,
UH... SOCIAL CALL.
I HAD A FEELING.
THAT'S HIS DESK,
AND HE SHOULD BE BACK
SOON, IF YOU'D CARE TO WAIT.
THANK YOU.
I'D LIKE TO FRESHEN UP.
IS THERE A LADIES' ROOM?
WHEN THERE'S A LADY IN IT.
CAN I TAKE YOUR BAGS?
THANK YOU.
SORRY TO PUT YOU
THROUGH SO MUCH TROUBLE.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- I'LL GET IT.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
MR. DeLUCA?
HELLO, SERGEANT.
COME ON, NOT AGAIN.
THIS TIME I'M ARRESTED.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
YOU REMEMBER MR. DeLUCA,
OUR GOOD SAMARITAN?
WENT TO THE AID OF A LADY IN
DISTRESS, GOT HIMSELF MUGGED?
AH, YES. MR. DeLUCA,
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
A MR. FELCH CLAIMED HE
WAS SITTING IN THE PARK
EATING A HOT DOG WHEN
MR. DeLUCA ATTACKED HIM.
WHAT?
WELL, HE'S MISTAKEN
BECAUSE HE WAS CHOKING.
Barney: WHERE'S FELCH?
- DIETRICH?
- HUH?
WHERE'S MR. FELCH?
OH, HE'S GOT A COUPLE
OF BROKEN RIBS.
HE'S IN EMERGENCY.
YOU BROKE HIS RIBS?
WELL, I USED THE
HEIMLICH MANEUVER.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
TO SAVE A CHOKER.
A QUICK JERK BELOW THE RIB CAGE
FORCES AIR UP
THROUGH THE WINDPIPE
AND DISLODGES THE OBSTRUCTION.
IF I MAY SHOW YOU...
I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE MANEUVER.
THAT'S IT?
DIETRICH?
HUH?
THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY?
WHAT?
THAT MR. DeLUCA MAY
HAVE SAVED MR. FELCH'S LIFE.
YEAH.
BROKEN RIBS ARE ALWAYS A RISK
WHEN THE HEIMLICH
MANEUVER IS USED.
BUT MOST PEOPLE
PREFER THAT TO DEATH.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL TRY
AND STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT
WHEN MR. FELCH GETS HERE.
IN THE MEANTIME, MAKE
YOURSELF AT HOME.
THANKS.
HELLO, ARTHUR.
HELLO. WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHAT A COINCIDENCE. SO WAS I.
OH, I FIND THAT EMBARRASSING.
I THINK IT'S KIND OF
TOUCHING, MYSELF.
I'LL BET HE'S GOT HIS EYES OPEN.
WELL, UH... HOW NICE
TO SEE YOU AFTER...
YEAH, WHAT? 14 YEARS?
14 YEARS.
IT WAS THE LAST WEEKEND
OF THE COLUMBIA RIOTS.
YEAH, WEREN'T WE
THE ACTIVISTS, THOUGH?
WHAT A WEEKEND.
YEAH.
WE CERTAINLY WERE... ACTIVE.
UH, YEAH.
UH, CYNTHIA, THIS IS
SERGEANT WOJCIEHOWICZ.
HI.
SERGEANT HARRIS.
WE'VE MET.
NORMAN DeLUCA.
Kroner: IRWIN KRONER.
FORMERLY LITTLE CORKY CARTER.
THIS IS CAPTAIN
MILLER. CYNTHIA REESE.
MS. REESE.
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT'S
MRS. BARROW NOW.
OH, RIGHT.
I SENT YOU A WEDDING INVITATION.
I SENT YOU A TOASTER.
OLD ACQUAINTANCES, I TAKE IT.
UH-HUH.
UH, OUR SALAD DAYS.
ARTHUR AND I SHARED A
ROOM IN A MOTEL OFF CAMPUS.
OH.
YEAH, WELL, IT WASN'T
EXACTLY A WALDORF SALAD.
WE'RE ALL SO SURPRISED WHEN
ARTHUR BECAME A POLICE MAN.
AT MED SCHOOL HE WAS
VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED.
KIND OF ASSUMED THAT.
I WAS JUST SURE BY NOW
THAT YOU'D BE IN RESEARCH
DOING WONDERFUL THINGS
WITH PARTS OF THE HUMAN BODY.
WELL, IN MY OWN SMALL WAY.
CAPTAIN, WOULD YOU
CARE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE?
THAT'S TEA.
THAT'S FOR SERGEANT HARRIS.
TRY AND STOP HIM.
MRS. BARROW?
YES, THAT WOULD BE NICE.
MAKE IT TWO... ONE
BLACK, ONE SUGAR,
BLACK, NO SUGAR.
CORRECT.
I'LL BRING IT TO YOUR DESK.
THANKS. COME ON, HAVE A SEAT.
THANK YOU.
OH, EXCUSE ME, I'M MRS. KRONER.
OH, YOU MUST BE CORKY'S MOM.
WHERE IS HE?
HE'S BEHIND YOU... IN THE CAGE.
IN THE CAGE?
OH, MY DARLING.
OH, HOW COULD YOU LOCK
HIM UP LIKE AN ANIMAL?
A BOY WITH HIS CREDITS.
WELL, THAT'S THE RULES.
THERE'S AN OLDER
RULE... THE LAW OF NATURE.
YOU DO NOT SEPARATE
A MOTHER AND HER CHILD.
NO, MA'AM.
WELL, THEN EITHER LET
HIM OUT OR LET ME IN.
I CANNOT TALK TO HIM
THROUGH THOSE BARS.
I AM NOT BETTE DAVIS.
GUESS IT WON'T HURT.
HERE WE GO.
THANK YOU.
I'LL HAVE CLEAN CUPS
IN A FEW MINUTES.
SO, AFTER EDDIE
GRADUATED, WE GOT MARRIED.
HE'S AN ANESTHESIOLOGIST NOW.
GREAT.
I, UH...
I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW
THAT I AM VERY HAPPILY MARRIED.
PERFECT.
AND THAT COMING UP HERE
TODAY TO SEE YOU TODAY WAS...
AN IMPULSE.
FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.
AND I APPRECIATE IT.
I JUST WOULDN'T WANT
YOU TO MISUNDERSTAND.
COME ON, WE'RE TWO OLD FRIENDS.
SHIPS THAT PAST IN THE NIGHT.
HANDS ACROSS THE SEA.
HOW ABOUT LUNCH?
WELL, UM...
I WOULDN'T WANT TO TAKE
UP TOO MUCH OF YOUR TIME.
WHAT, LUNCH?
QUICK DRINK, QUICK SANDWICH.
I'D LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
OH.
NO, YOU CAN LEAVE THE PACKAGES.
OH, OKAY.
UH, OUT TO LUNCH.
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
IT'S 12:35.
BE BACK, UH... SOMETIME TODAY.
OR NOT.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WERE 7 YEARS OLD
AND YOU DID THAT
WONDERFUL SCENE IN JAIL,
WHERE THEY TOOK YOUR BIG
BROTHER TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR?
OH, HOW YOU CRIED.
YOU WERE JUST MARVELOUS.
AND THE WHOLE WORLD
CRIED WHEN YOU CRIED.
MA, I CRIED AFTER
THE DIRECTOR TOLD ME
YOU GOT HIT BY A STREETCAR
AND THAT YOU DIED
IN THE AMBULANCE
ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL
AND I WAS NEVER
GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN.
MM-HMM.
THEN HE STUCK ME WITH A PIN.
DeLuca: ANYONE FOR A REFILL?
UH, NO, THANK YOU.
CAPTAIN, I COULDN'T
HELP NOTICING
THAT YOUR PLANTS
SEEM TO BE DYING.
OH?
IF YOU LIKE, I COULD
TALK TO THEM FOR YOU.
PEOPLE SAY I HAVE
A GREEN TONGUE.
BARN?
THERE'S A MR. FELCH
HERE ABOUT MR. DeLUCA.
OH, RIGHT.
LET ME SEE IF WE CAN
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
MR. FELCH.
THAT'S HIM! THAT'S THE GUY!
ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT
EASY. TAKE IT EASY.
I'M CAPTAIN MILLER.
I'D SHAKE YOUR HAND, BUT
I GOT TWO CRACKED RIBS.
WELL, I WAS TRYING TO HELP.
YEAH, TRYING TO HELP
YOURSELF TO MY WALLET.
MR. FELCH, I THINK
YOU MAY HAVE MISINTERPRETED
MR. DeLUCA'S ACTIONS.
WHAT'S TO MISINTERPRET?
I GET SOMETHING
CAUGHT IN MY THROAT,
NEXT THING I KNOW,
THIS CREEP OVER HERE
HAS GOT A BEAR HUG ON ME
AND PUTS HIS FIST
THROUGH MY STOMACH.
THAT'S THE WAY IT'S DONE.
MR. FELCH, HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD OF THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER?
SURE.
KRAUTS PULLED IT IN '43.
THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER
IS A METHOD OF SAVING
A CHOKING VICTIM.
MR. DeLUCA SAW THAT YOU
WERE HAVING DIFFICULTY...
OH, COME ON, HUH? WHERE
DO I SIGN THE COMPLAINT?
I ASSURE YOU
MR. DeLUCA WAS ONLY...
LOOK, LOOK, ALL I KNOW
IS I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN,
AND I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
SO CAN WE GET ON
WITH THIS THING?
I'M AFRAID SERGEANT HARRIS
IS GONNA HAVE TO BOOK YOU.
I UNDERSTAND.
THE MAN HAS A WOODEN LEG!
HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
JUST HAVE A SEAT, HUH?
HELLO, AGAIN.
HAROLD LIPKIN.
AH, YES.
THE AGENT.
OVER HERE. HAVE
A SEAT, MR. LIPKIN.
INGRATE!
AH!
I SEE YOU'VE GOT THE
RIGHT PERSON BEHIND BARS.
YOU'VE GOT A NERVE
TALKING LIKE THAT.
YOU HAVE LIVED OFF CORKY'S
FLESH, BLOOD, AND TALENT
UNTIL ALL HE'S GOT
LEFT IS HIS CARCASS.
I'M NOT A CARCASS.
OH, IT'S JUST A
FIGURE OF SPEECH.
WELL, THEN DON'T
CALL ME A CARCASS.
HEMLOCK MANEUVER...
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
WHO DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DEALING WITH HERE?
SOME YOKEL WHO
JUST GOT OFF THE FARM?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING...
I'VE SPENT 25
YEARS IN THIS CITY,
AND I KNOW ALL ABOUT PEOPLE.
NOBODY DOES NOTHING FOR
NOBODY BUT THEMSELVES.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M A LITTLE CYNICAL.
SO EXCUSE ME FOR NOT
BELIEVING IN TINKERBELL.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE SAYING THAT
YOU SAW ME IN TROUBLE,
SO YOU CAME OVER, FOR NO REASON,
WITH NOTHING IN IT FOR
YOU, AND SAVED MY LIFE.
YES.
YOU'RE SICK!
MR. FELCH.
I DON'T BELIEVE HIM.
DO YOU BELIEVE HIM?
I BELIEVE HIM.
SIGN RIGHT HERE.
A MAN IS WALKING IN A PARK,
MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS,
WHEN ALL OF A
SUDDEN, FOR NO REASON,
HE DECIDES TO
SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
SIGN RIGHT HERE.
HEY, DON'T RUSH ME, ALL RIGHT?
MR. FELCH, ARE YOU GONNA
SIGN THE COMPLAINT OR NOT?
MAYBE YES, MAYBE NO.
MR. FELCH... AH, FORGET IT.
I CHANGED MY MIND.
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO PEOPLE?
COME ON, MR. DeLUCA,
YOU'RE FREE TO GO, TOO.
IF YOU'RE SURE I CAN'T BE
ANY MORE HELP UP HERE.
OH, MR. DeLUCA, JUST GO HOME.
AND, LOOK, REMEMBER, THERE'S
AN OLD CHINESE PROVERB...
SAVE A MAN'S LIFE, AND
HE'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
HEY, I'M NOT CHINESE.
THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE DAMN CLEVER.
OKAY, MR. LIPKIN, YOU
GONNA SIGN THAT OR NOT?
I WILL NOT LET YOU
SEND MY SON TO PRISON.
I'D BE DOING HIM A FAVOR!
THE ENVIRONMENT WOULD
BE AN IMPROVEMENT.
OH, HO HO, KILL A MOTHER.
WHEN ALL ELSE
FAILS, KILL A MOTHER.
WILL YOU FACE IT?!
THE ONLY REASON CORKY WAS A STAR
WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A CUTE KID!
BUT HE'S NO ACTOR!
KIDS DON'T ACT!
THEY LAUGH, THEY CRY,
THEIR NOSES RUN A LITTLE!
CUTE!
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE A STAR
JUST LIKE YOU WERE BEFORE
IN SPITE OF PARASITES LIKE HIM.
WILL YOU LEAVE
HIM ALONE ALREADY?!
DO YOU SEE WHAT SHE DOES TO HIM?
SHIRLEY TEMPLE DOESN'T
TAP-DANCE ANYMORE!
SHE'S AN AMBASSADOR.
JACKIE COOPER PUT
AWAY HIS LOWER LIP.
HE'S A CAPTAIN IN THE
NAVY, FOR GOD'S SAKES!
MICKEY ROONEY IS STILL A STAR.
HE'S JUST LUCKY. HE
HASN'T GROWN ONE INCH.
YOU THINK I HAVEN'T
TRIED TO GET HIM PARTS?
I'VE TRIED. I'VE TRIED.
MR. LIPKIN, DO YOU WANT
TO SIGN THE COMPLAINT?
NO! I DIDN'T COME DOWN
HERE TO PUT HIM IN JAIL.
I CAME DOWN TO TALK SENSE.
OKAY, THEN I CAN LET HIM OUT?
GOOD. LET HIM OUT. KEEP HER.
I CAN'T DO THAT, MR. LIPKIN.
SHE'S NOT UNDER ARREST.
UNDER ARREST.
I COULD BE IF I DID
WHAT I WANT TO TO YOU.
PARASITE!
THANK YOU. FROM YOU,
THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
- A COMPLIMENT?!
- STAGE MOTHER,
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE...
A STAGE MOTHER TO A GROWN MAN.
WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP
ALREADY, THE BOTH OF YOU?!
NOW SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
YOU'VE UPSET CORKY.
I'M NOT CORKY, MA! I'M IRWIN.
I'M NOT GONNA BE
A STAR AGAIN, MA.
THAT'S OVER.
OH, NO, NO. NOW, DON'T
YOU TALK LIKE THAT.
I'M NOT AN ACTOR.
I NEVER WANTED TO BE AN ACTOR.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
YOU WERE GORGEOUS!
MA, YOU NEVER ONCE ASKED
ME WHAT I WANTED TO BE,
DID YOU, EVER ONCE?
ASK ME.
ASK YOU WHAT?
ASK ME WHAT I WANT TO BE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
A TRUCK DRIVER... A REAL PERSON!
I WANT TO BE THE GUY
THAT SITS HIGH IN THE CAB
OF ONE OF THOSE
BIG SEMIS, YOU KNOW?
ROARING ACROSS THE HIGHWAYS
AND BYWAYS OF AMERICA.
I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL
OF ALL THAT POWER
IN MY OWN TWO HANDS.
I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL
OF MY OWN DESTINY, MA.
I WANT TO SEE REAL
PEOPLE AND REAL PLACES.
WHEN I TALK INTO A MIKE, MA,
I WANT IT TO BE INTO ONE OF
THEM C.B. RADIOS, YOU KNOW?
TALKING TO MY GOOD BUDDY.
SAYING THINGS I WANT TO SAY,
NOT WHAT SOME HACK WROTE.
AND, MA, WHAT I
WANT TO SAY IS...
TO HELL WITH SHOW BUSINESS!
CORKY, YOU CAN'T MEAN IT.
IRWIN, I'M GOING TO HELP YOU.
YOU ARE?
YES. I'VE GOT A COUSIN
IN THE TRUCKING
BUSINESS IN JERSEY.
I'M GONNA TALK TO HIM.
HE BELIEVED ME,
MA. YOU BELIEVED ME.
YOU SEE THAT? YOU
BELIEVED ME, MR. LIPKIN.
THAT WAS A GOOD
PERFORMANCE, HUH?
NO. THAT'S WHY I'M GONNA GET
YOU A JOB AS A TRUCK DRIVER.
BUT I DON'T EVEN HAVE A
DRIVER'S LICENSE, MR. LIPKIN.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
HAD ME GOING.
YOU WERE MARVELOUS.
MA, HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.
I BELIEVED YOU.
I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOU.
MA... I DON'T WANT
TO DRIVE A TRUCK.
THE LUNCH WAS MARVELOUS...
IMPECCABLY PREPARED,
BEAUTIFULLY SERVED.
WELL, IT'S A VERY POPULAR PLACE.
WE WERE LUCKY WE GOT STOOLS.
I LOVED IT.
I WILL SAY, HOWEVER,
I THINK THE TOUR WAS
A LITTLE DEPRESSING.
WELL, I JUST THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT LIKE
TO SEE THE GUTS
OF A POLICE STATION.
EVERYBODY SHOULD.
THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING,
I THINK EVERYBODY WILL.
WELL, IT'S GETTING LATE.
ONLY 4:15.
IT WAS REALLY LOVELY
TO SEE YOU AGAIN, ARTIE.
LOVELY IS THE WORD.
WE'LL HAVE TO DO
IT AGAIN SOMETIME.
YEAH.
BYE.
THANKS.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
YEAH.
MAY I GIVE EDDIE YOUR BEST?
I THINK HE'S ALREADY GOT IT.
UH... SORRY ABOUT
THE LONG LUNCH.
YEAH.
CHARMING GIRL.
COULD HAVE BEEN.
LOOK, I'VE ALWAYS INSISTED
ON BEING THE BEST
AT WHATEVER I DID.
I COULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD DOCTOR,
BUT I KNEW I WOULDN'T BE
THE BEST DOCTOR IN THE WORLD.
I COULD HAVE BEEN
A GOOD LAWYER...
OR A GOOD HUSBAND,
BUT I KNEW I
WOULDN'T BE THE BEST.
THAT'S WHY I BECAME A COP.
WELL, PRESENT COMPANY EXCEPTED.