Barney Miller (1975–1982): Season 7, Episode 5 - Agent Orange - full transcript

Wojo takes a personal interest in a fellow vet whose crime spree may be related to Agent Orange exposure during the Vietnam War. A domestic dispute occurs at the Brauer household when their apartment building becomes "clothing optional."

MORNING, DORSEY.

MORNING, SIR.

UH, WOJCIEHOWICZ
ANYTAND DIETRICHNG?

WENT OUT ON A ROBBERY CALL.

OH.

EVERYTHING GOING OKAY WITH YOU?

PRETTY GOOD.

NO PROBLEMS?

WHY?

DID SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING?

NO.



I BROUGHT IN MY TOASTER.

YOU GUYS DIDN'T HAVE ONE.

RIGHT.

BREAKFAST IS YOUR
MOST IMPORTANT MEAL.

- JUST GET INSIDE, SERRANO.
- MORNING.

BREAKFAST READY?

WHAT DO YOU GOT, WOJO?

GERALD SERRANO.

HE TRIED TO STICK UP A LIQUOR
STORE OVER ON LEXINGTON.

COME ON, YOU GUYS, YOU
GOT TO GIVE ME A BREAK.

I'M A VETERAN.

OF WHAT?

THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE.

I WAS IN VIETNAM...
YOU KNOW, ASIA.



RIGHT.

YEAH, YOU SEE, THAT'S
WHY I ROB PLACES.

I NEED THE EXCITEMENT
THAT I HAD OVER THERE.

JUST HAVE A SEAT.
VIETNAM SYNDROME.

YEAH. SEE? HE KNOWS.

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED,

IT'S A RECENTLY DIAGNOSED
DISORDER OF SOME VETS

WHO, BECAUSE OF THEIR EXPOSURE

TO VIOLENCE AND
DANGER IN VIETNAM,

SEEM TO HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL
NEED FOR IT IN CIVILIAN LIFE.

YOU SEE WHAT I'M TELLING YOU?

I'M STILL ALL KEYED UP FROM
SEEING ALL THAT ACTION.

YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF
TIME TO RELAX, MR. SERRANO,

WHILE WE BOOK YOU.

BUT I'M TELLING YOU...

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE.

SIT DOWN BEFORE WE
BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!

I JUST WANT HIM TO
BE COMFORTABLE.

GOOD MORNING, PEOPLE.

Barney: MORNING.
MORNING, HARRIS.

GOOD MORNING.

MORNING, RON.

HEY, WOJ. HOW ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHT.

WHERE'S MY TEA?

OH, THAT WAS YOURS.

UH-HUH.

I'M SORRY.

ABOUT WHAT?

WELL, THERE WAS
ONLY ONE TEA BAG LEFT,

AND THE TANNIC ACID IN THE
TEA'S NO GOOD FOR YOU, ANYWAY,

SO I THREW IT AWAY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

12th PRECINCT. DORSEY.

UH-HUH.

GOT IT.

CAPTAIN, THERE'S A DISTURBANCE

IN AN APARTMENT BUILDING
ON HOUSTON STREET.

YOU'RE ON WITH HARRIS.

LET'S GO, PARTNER.

YOU DON'T MIND IF I FINISH
THIS OFF IN THE CAR, DO YOU?

OH, PLEASE DO.

WE'LL TALK LATER.

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OKAY, I NEED THE NAME
OF YOUR LAST EMPLOYER.

UNITED STATES AIR FORCE.

HAVEN'T HAD A
STEADY JOB SINCE THEN.

YOU WERE OVER THERE, TOO, HUH?

YEAH, I WAS.

HOW ABOUT A BREAK
FOR A FELLOW VET, HUH?

GOT ANY DISTINGUISHING
MARKS OR SCARS?

NO, NONE.

WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE RASH
ON THE BACK OF MY NECK.

RASH?

YEAH, FROM THE DIOXIN.

DIOXIN?

IT'S THE STUFF IN AGENT ORANGE.

I WAS IN OPERATION RANCH HAND.

DROPPED THAT JUNK
OVER HALF THE COUNTRY...

YOU KNOW, TO GET RID
OF THE GROUND COVER.

YEAH. YEAH, I HEARD OF THAT.

I REMEMBER WE USED TO
LOAD UP ABOUT 5,000 GALLONS,

YOU KNOW, GO UP
ABOUT 150 FEET, DROP IT.

IT WOULD JUST SORT
OF LIKE FLOAT DOWN...

A BIG, WHITE CLOUD.

SETTLE OVER THE WHOLE JUNGLE.

OH, IT WAS VERY PRETTY.

YOU STILL GOT THIS RASH?

RASH?

I GOT RASH. I GOT NUMBNESS.

I GOT TINGLING. I
GOT LIVER DAMAGE.

I GOT ABDOMINAL TUMORS.

WELL, DID YOU CALL THE V.A.?

YEAH, I WENT TO THE V.A. I
PUT IN A CLAIM TWO YEARS AGO.

THEY SAID, "FORGET IT."

LET'S FINISH UP THIS REPORT.

I'M SURPRISED YOU DON'T
KNOW MORE ABOUT IT,

BEING YOU WERE
OVER THERE AND ALL.

WELL, SEE, WHERE I WAS,

THEY... THEY...
THEY DIDN'T USE IT.

OH, YEAH? WHERE WERE YOU?

"I" CORPS, A SHAU VALLEY.

AH.

WE GOT YOU, TOO.

PLEASE, HARRIET! I KNOW!

I KNOW IF YOU GAVE IT A
CHANCE, YOU'D LEARN TO LOVE IT!

DON'T TALK TO ME.

SEE? SHE'S ALWAYS LIKE
THAT! SHE IS ALWAYS LIKE THAT!

DON'T TALK TO ME, EITHER.

- MRS. BRAUER.
- OH, CAPTAIN, PLEASE,
YOU TALK TO HIM.

HE LISTENS TO YOU.

NO, I DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!

HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD
IT. WHAT'S GOING ON?

WELL, WE WENT
INTO THIS BUILDING,

AND THIS BOZO HERE,
HE'S RUNNING DOWN...

- MR. BRAUER?
- RIGHT.

ANYWAY, THE BOZO'S RUNNING
DOWN THE HALL, NAKED AS A JAYBIRD.

SHE'S RUNNING AFTER HIM,

SCREAMING AT HIM
TO PUT ON HIS ROBE.

MY WIFE HAS BEEN UNDER A
GREAT STRAIN RECENTLY, THAT'S ALL.

ANYWAY, WE GOT HIM TO
GO BACK INTO THE APARTMENT

AND MADE HIM PUT
SOME CLOTHES ON.

CAPTAIN, I-I-I HATE THESE.

THEY OBSCURE YOUR ESSENCE.

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, CAPTAIN.

HE'S JUST IMITATING THE OTHERS.

WHAT OTHERS?

WELL, EVERYBODY ELSE IN
THE BUILDING IS ALSO NAKED.

PEOPLE GOING IN AND
OUT OF ELEVATORS,

TWO OLD LADIES JUST
SITTING IN THE LOBBY.

I ALMOST TOSSED MY WAFFLE.

I DON'T GET IT. WHAT'S GOING ON?

WELL, BARN, THE APARTMENT
BUILDING HAS GONE NUDIST.

AND I WAS WORRIED ABOUT CONDOS.

- NUDIST?
- SHOW HIM THE LETTER.

OH, MRS. BRAUER
SAYS THAT LAST MONTH,

SHE GOT THIS FROM THE
OWNER OF THE BUILDING.

DID YOU HAVE
THOSE THE LAST TIME?

YES, YES.

"DEAR TENANT, THIS
IS TO NOTIFY YOU

"THAT AS OF MONDAY, OCTOBER 1,

"ALL COMMON AREAS OF
THE APARTMENT COMPLEX...

"LOBBY, HALLWAYS, RECREATION,

"LAUNDRY ROOMS,
INTERIOR COURTYARD...

"WILL BECOME
CLOTHING-OPTIONAL AREAS.

"NUDISM IS A HEALTHFUL
AND VIBRANT WAY OF LIFE.

"I HOPE YOU WILL JOIN US.

GRIN AND BARE IT."

SEE... SEE... SEE HOW HE
SPELLED "BARE" B-A-R-E?

HE BOUGHT THE
BUILDING IN SEPTEMBER,

AND EVER SINCE THEN,

HE'S BEEN MOVING IN HIS
DISGUSTING, NAKED FRIENDS.

I TAKE IT YOU'RE PRESSING
CHARGES AGAINST MR. BRAUER.

IT'S THE ONLY THING
HE UNDERSTANDS.

MR. BRAUER, IF YOU'LL
HAVE A SEAT OVER HERE...

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I KNOW THE PROCEDURE.

MRS. BRAUER, THIS WAY.

HARRIS, YOU WANT TO
CONTACT MR. FULTON,

HAVE HIM COME DOWN?

AS IS?

MM?

I FINISHED QUESTIONING SERRANO.

I'M GONNA GO DOWN AND
CHECK HIM FOR PRIORS.

FINE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

HE TOLD ME THAT WHEN
HE WAS IN THE AIR FORCE

THAT HE GOT EXPOSED
TO THAT HERBICIDE...

YOU KNOW, AGENT ORANGE.

NOW HE'S GOT LIKE 50 DIFFERENT
THINGS WRONG WITH HIM.

THAT'S UNFORTUNATE.

YEAH.

AND A LOT OF GUYS... GOT
EXPOSED TO THIS STUFF,

AND NO ONE EVER EVEN TOLD
THEM IT MIGHT BE DANGEROUS.

I-I READ ABOUT THAT.

YOU'D THINK SOMEBODY WOULD
BE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

WELL, I'M SURE SOMEONE IS.

RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, THE MORE YOU
JUST STOP AND THINK ABOUT IT...

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED...

IT GETS YOU A LITTLE ANGRY.

UH-HUH.

BUT, UH... TAKE IT EASY.

HARRIET, THEY'RE
LOCKING ME UP NOW.

NOW ARE YOU HAPPY? ECSTATIC.

LISTEN, YOU KEEP THIS
UP, I'LL BE IN PRISON SOON.

GOOD!

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
IN PRISON, HARRIET?

HOMOSEXUAL RAPE.

THAT'S YOUR PRIVILEGE.

CAN I HELP YOU?

YES, I'M PETER RANKIN,
TRESHER CHEMICAL.

LEN McCREADY,
VETERANS ADMINISTRATION.

OH. I'M CAPTAIN MILLER.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

NOTHING. YOU CALLED US.

WE DID?

WELL, SOMEONE HERE
CALLED MY OFFICE.

A SERGEANT WIJITOWITZ.

DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?

VAGUELY.

HE SAID SOME SORT OF
CRIME HAD BEEN COMMITTED

CONCERNED OUR 2,4-D AND 2,4,5-T,

BUT HE DIDN'T ELABORATE.

2,4-D... I TAKE IT
THAT'S AGENT ORANGE?

OF COURSE.

THAT'S THE SAME
THING HE TOLD US.

SO, WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE PROBLEM?

HEY, BARN.

AH, WOJO.

THE GENTLEMEN YOU
CONTACTED FROM THE V.A.

AND THE CHEMICAL
COMPANY ARE HERE.

WHERE'S THE AIR FORCE?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

CONDUCTING A
NORMAL INVESTIGATION.

- OF WHAT?
- A CRIME.

THAT CRIME HAPPENS
TO BE ARMED ROBBERY,

WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH CHEMICAL COMPANIES

OR THE V.A. OR THE AIR FORCE.

JUST WAIT A MINUTE.

SERRANO WAS EXPOSED
TO AGENT ORANGE.

WE DON'T KNOW
HOW IT AFFECTED HIM,

BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN
A FACTOR IN THAT CRIME.

SO IT SEEMS TO ME
THAT IT'S RELEVANT

TO QUESTION THE PEOPLE
THAT MIGHT BE RESPON...

RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.

I'M SURPRISED YOU DON'T
HAVE NIXON DOWN HERE.

HE WASN'T HOME.

BARN...

YOU'RE... YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT'S TALKING ALL THE TIME

ABOUT COVERING ALL THE BASES,

BEING THOROUGH,
EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

THAT... THAT'S ALL I'M DOING.

WELL, WHAT'S NEXT
ON YOUR AGENDA?

I JUST WANT TO GET
STATEMENTS FROM THEM.

YOU KNOW, I WANT TO FIND
OUT WHO WAS DOING WHAT.

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

BUT NO ARRESTS.

OH, NO.

IT'S A LITTLE EARLY FOR THAT.

CAPTAIN, MY TIME IS
NOT TOTALLY WORTHLESS.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WOJO?

ALL RIGHT, UH,
MR. SERRANO HERE...

WE PICKED HIM UP
ON A FELONY CHARGE.

SO?

SO, HE WAS EXPOSED TO YOUR
AGENT ORANGE IN VIETNAM,

AND HE DIDN'T GET
TREATMENT FROM THE V.A.,

SO WE'RE JUST TRYING TO...

DETERMINE IF THAT COULD
BE A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

UH... NO, WE'RE NOT.

IF MR. SERRANO THINKS
HE HAS SYMPTOMS

OF AGENT ORANGE EXPOSURE,

WE'RE MORE THAN
EAGER TO EXAMINE HIM.

BUT ANY CRIMINAL
ACTIVITY ON HIS PART

HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE V.A.

HEY, MAYBE NOT.

YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT TO
GET THAT ON THE RECORD...

UNLESS, UH, ONE OF YOU GUYS

HAS A REASON TO NOT
HAVE THIS LOOKED INTO.

OF COURSE NOT.

OUR 2,4,5-T IS A TOTALLY SAFE
AND RESPONSIBLE PRODUCT.

WELL, THEN, YOU DON'T MIND
ANSWERING A FEW QUESTIONS.

FINE.

OKAY.

MR. RANKIN, WANT TO SIT HERE?

AND, MR. McCREADY, YOU
CAN, UH... SIT RIGHT HERE.

DO YOU PEOPLE DO THIS
SORT OF THING OFTEN?

UH, I DO.

I'M CAPTAIN RONALD DUPREE...

RIGHT OVER THERE.

WHAT ARE THOSE?

I'M ON DOWNERS.

SINCE WHEN?

SINCE YOU STARTED RUNNING
AROUND LIKE KUNTA KINTE.

HARRIET, LISTEN... I'M
DOING THIS FOR YOU, TOO.

SMALL THANKS FOR LITTLE FAVORS.

THAT'S RIGHT, HARRIET.

KEEP PUNCHING. KEEP PUNCHING.

AND ACCORDING TO
THIS UNIVERSITY STUDY,

3,800 DEATHS FROM CANCER WOULD
BE NORMALLY EXPECTED TO OCCUR

IN A GROUP THE SIZE AND AGE

OF THAT STATIONED IN
VIETNAM DURING THIS PERIOD.

THUS, UNTIL AND UNLESS
THE ACTUAL MORTALITY RATE

EXCEEDS THAT OF
THE EXPECTED NORM,

THERE IS REALLY NO
CONCRETE EVIDENCE

OF A CORRELATION BETWEEN
AGENT ORANGE EXPOSURE

AND THESE VETERANS'
SUBSEQUENT ILLNESSES.

THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT
THERE WAS ANOTHER STUDY

AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
ILLINOIS MEDICAL CENTER,

WHICH FOUND THAT IN VETERANS

WHO HAD BEEN EXPOSED
TO AGENT ORANGE,

THERE WAS AN
UNUSUALLY HIGH INCIDENCE

OF A PARTICULAR TYPE OF
AUTOIMMUNE ANTIBODIES

FORMED AGAINST THE
BODY'S OWN CELLS...

ANTIBODIES ASSOCIATED
WITH THE LIVER DISEASE

DIAGNOSED IN MANY
AGENT ORANGE VICTIMS.

WHO ARE YOU?

JUST A STRANGER PASSING THROUGH.

I'M LOOKING FOR SERGEANT HARRIS.

YEAH?

I'M JOHN FULTON. WE
SPOKE ON THE PHONE.

IT'S MR. NATURE.

YOU SAID YOU HAD
A LITTLE DIFFICULTY?

UH, YEAH.

I'LL SEE, UH, IF CAPTAIN
MILLER'S AVAILABLE.

JUST MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE THERE, HUH?

WITHIN REASON.

WE MISSED YOU AT THE BARBECUE.

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D NOTICE.

MR. FULTON, I'M CAPTAIN MILLER.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

THE PROBLEM IS,

MRS. BRAUER HERE IS LODGING
A COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU

CONCERNING THE
ACTIVITIES IN YOUR BUILDING.

YOU MEAN MY ENCOURAGEMENT

OF THE FULL AND UNFETTERED
EXPRESSION OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT?

YEAH, THAT AND THE FACT
THAT YOU GOT A LOT OF PEOPLE

RUNNING AROUND NAKED.

CAPTAIN, REGARDLESS
OF GENERAL OPINION,

NUDISTS AREN'T A
BUNCH OF EXHIBITIONISTS

WHO LIKE TO PLAY
VOLLEYBALL IN THE WOODS.

WE'RE JUST ORDINARY,
LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS

WHO HAPPEN TO FEEL THAT
THE WEARING OF CLOTHING

HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
MODESTY OR MORALITY.

IT ALSO HAS NOTHING TO
DO WITH THE ISSUE AT HAND.

LOOK, I TOOK THE LIBERTY TO
BRING ALONG OUR NEWSLETTER,

THE NEW YORK
SUNBATHING ASSOCIATION.

I'M THE OUTGOING PRESIDENT.

NO KIDDING.

IF YOU'LL JUST TAKE A MOMENT
TO GLANCE THROUGH HERE,

YOU'LL SEE THAT WE'RE
A SERIOUS ORGANIZATION

WITH VERY WORTHWHILE GOALS.

UH, LOOK, MR. FULTON,
I HAVE NO REASON

TO DOUBT YOUR SINCERITY OR
THAT OF YOUR ORGANIZATION,

BUT THE FACT IS THAT
MRS. BRAUER HERE

IS ENTITLED NOT TO BE OFFENDED.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
WORK SOMETHING OUT.

I'VE TRIED. I'VE BENT OVER
BACKWARDS TO SATISFY HER.

YOU'RE DISGUSTING!

HEY, LOOSEN UP, LADY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

SO, EXACTLY HOW
MUCH AGENT ORANGE

WAS USED OVER THERE?

ALL RIGHT.

FROM '62 TO '71,

WE MUST HAVE SPRAYED
ABOUT 10.5 MILLION GALLONS.

THAT'S ALL?

WELL, I KNOW IT DOES
SOUND LIKE A LOT.

AND IT IS.

ACCORDING TO MR. SERRANO,

WHEN THEY MIXED THE STUFF,

THEY JUST WORE T-SHIRTS,

SO THEY NEVER WORE
A MASK OR GLOVES?

WELL, IT WAS HOT.

HARRIET! HARRIET, COME HERE!

YES?

HARRIET, OUR MARRIAGE
IS IN SERIOUS TROUBLE.

I CAME OVER FOR THAT?

I THINK THAT NUDITY WILL
GIVE US A CHANCE TO SAVE IT.

I THINK IT'LL PUT SOME
BOUNCE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

PHIL, YOU GOT ENOUGH
BOUNCE FOR THE TWO OF US.

HARRIET, YOU'RE A SICK,
FRIGHTENED WOMAN.

SURE, 'CAUSE I'M MARRIED TO YOU.

WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE?

PHIL.

WHAT?

WHY AREN'T I ENOUGH?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING ELSE,

SOMETHING OUT THERE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
JUST THE TWO OF US?

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT
IF I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES,

THAT'S WHAT WE NEED?

THAT IT'S GONNA MAKE
EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL?

IT'S A START.

OKAY.

OKAY, IF THAT'S WHAT
YOU THINK WE NEED.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU HAPPY.

IF, AFTER OUR RESEARCH
AND THE AIR FORCE'S STUDY,

WE DETERMINE THAT THE CAUSE
OF THE PROBLEM IS AGENT ORANGE,

WE WILL, OF COURSE,
APPROVE THE DISABILITY CLAIM,

AND WE'LL DO EVERYTHING THAT
WE CAN TO RECTIFY THE SITUATION.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. THEN,
NOW, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WHAT'S YOUR COMPANY
GONNA DO IF THAT'S THE CASE?

SERGEANT, THAT'S REALLY
A HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION,

AS WE ARE 100% SURE

THAT OUR PRODUCT IS
NOT THE CULPRIT HERE.

BUT IF IT IS, IT'S
STILL NOT OUR FAULT.

WE DELIVERED A SAFE,
EFFECTIVE PRODUCT

WHEN ADMINISTERED RESPONSIBLY,

BUT THE MILITARY
IGNORED ALL SAFEGUARDS.

THEY MIXED IT TOO STRONG.
THEY SPRAYED IT HELTER-SKELTER.

THEY DID NOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS.

NOW, LISTEN... IF THAT
STUFF WAS SO SAFE,

HOW COME THE E.P.A. BANNED IT?

SURE, THROW THAT IN MY FACE.

MOREOVER, EVEN IF THIS
DID CAUSE THE PROBLEM,

IT COULD HAVE BEEN
MINIMIZED IF PROMPT ACTION

HAD BEEN TAKEN BY THE
VETERANS ADMINISTRATION.

WE'RE DOING SOMETHING NOW.

WELL, IT'S A LITTLE LATE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN TREATING
THIS PROBLEM FIVE YEARS AGO!

- SO SUE ME!
- WE ARE!

GOOD LUCK!

YOU THREE CLOWNS WANT
TO SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE?!

WELL, THERE'S NO NEED TO
GET PERSONAL, SERGEANT.

IT IS PERSONAL!

Barney: WOJO.

I WAS OVER THERE MYSELF.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE

IF I GOT EXPOSED
TO AGENT ORANGE.

BUT I KNOW THAT
WHEN I THINK IF I HAVE...

BACK WHEN I HAD A HEADACHE

OR A TINGLING IN MY ARM
OR SOME TROUBLE IN BED,

I START TO WONDER.

SERGEANT, THAT REALLY CAN'T
BE CONSIDERED OUR FAULT.

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE
WHOSE FAULT IT IS

OR WHO DID WHAT
OR WHO'S SUING WHO.

MR. SERRANO AND ME WOULD
LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE STUFF DID

AND WHAT IT'S
GOING TO DO, RIGHT?

I JUST WANTED A LAWYER.

WELL?

WE JUST DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW?

WE REALLY JUST DON'T KNOW.

REALLY.

SERGEANT, AFTER THE TESTS
AND THE STUDIES ARE COMPLETE,

WE'LL HOPEFULLY HAVE
SOMETHING MORE TO GO ON.

BUT UNTIL THAT TIME,

WE'RE ALL JUST GOING
TO HAVE TO WAIT... AND SEE.

GREAT.

SO, IF THERE'S NOTHING
ELSE YOU'LL NEED...

NO.

LOOK, I APPRECIATE YOU GUYS
COMING DOWN HERE TODAY.

OF COURSE.

SEE YOU.

LISTEN, HERE'S MY NUMBER.

LISTEN, WE REALLY DO
WANT TO HELP ANYBODY

THAT MIGHT HAVE A
PROBLEM WITH THIS.

THANK YOU.

BELIEVE ME, SERGEANT.

THE ODDS ARE THAT NONE OF
THOSE THINGS YOU MENTIONED BEFORE

ARE DUE TO EXPOSURE
TO AGENT ORANGE.

SURE, IT COULD'VE
BEEN AGENT PURPLE.

PURPLE?

JUST FORGET I MENTIONED IT.

PURPLE?

I'LL FILL YOU IN LATER.

READY, PHIL?

HARRIET, YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, THIS
IS A POLICE STATION.

Harriet: SO?

SO, THEY HAVE GUNS.

LOOK, MRS. BRAUER,
AS A PERSONAL FAVOR

TO A GUY WHO'S GOT HIS
WHOLE CAREER AHEAD OF HIM,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT ON
YOUR CLOTHES AND COME OUT?

UM, EXCUSE ME.

PARDON ME.

COME ON OUT, MRS.
BRAUER. FUN'S OVER.

WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

JUST MAKING A POINT.

BOY, YOU CERTAINLY
HAD A LOT OF PEOPLE

WORRIED OUT HERE, HARRIET...

AND A LITTLE EXCITED, TOO.

WITHOUT DROPPING A STITCH.

OKAY, MR. BRAUER, HERE'S
YOUR DESK-APPEARANCE TICKET.

IF YOU'LL JUST SIGN FOR YOUR
VALUABLES RIGHT DOWN THERE.

MR. FULTON, THIS IS A
MISDEMEANOR CITATION

FOR CREATING A PUBLIC NUISANCE.

NOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO GET SOME MORE OF THOSE,

I'D SUGGEST THAT
YOU AND YOUR TENANTS

KEEP YOUR PANTS ON...

IN THE LOBBY, ON THE ROOF,

AND IN ALL AREAS VISIBLE
TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

- UNDERSTOOD?
- YES.

GREAT. YOU'RE ALL FREE TO GO.

OH, SERGEANT, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- TAKE CARE.
- OKAY.

SO YOU KNEW THE WHOLE
TIME SHE HAD HER CLOTHES ON?

OH, YEAH.

AND YOU JUST LET ME
STAND THERE LIKE A JERK?

MMM...

YOU'RE RIGHT. HE CAN
BE A REAL BASTARD.