Barney Miller (1975–1982): Season 7, Episode 16 - Contempt: Part 2 - full transcript

While Barney spends the night in jail for contempt of court, Harris supervises the squad room.

BY THE WAY, YOU GUYS ARE
ON YOUR OWN THIS AFTERNOON.

I GOT COURT.

OH, YEAH?

YEAH. GOT TO TESTIFY
IN THE GORMAN CASE.

YOU MEAN THAT LITTLE $8 MILLION
COCAINE BUST THAT WE MADE?

THE, UH, ONE THAT'S
GETTING ALL THE PUBLICITY?

THAT'S THE ONE.

WERE YOU IN ON THAT?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

IN THE PAST MONTH,

WE'VE HAD A DOZEN OR SO
BREAK-INS AT VARIOUS FACILITIES,



BUT THE POINT IS THAT
WE'RE IN THE BUSINESS

OF HELPING PEOPLE
WHO DO THINGS LIKE THIS.

WELL, HAVE YOU
CAUGHT ANYBODY YET?

NO.

WELL, THEN, HOW
YOU GONNA HELP HIM?

THAT'S A GOOD POINT.

I GOT CITED FOR CONTEMPT.

OH, YEAH?

I HAVE TO, UH, SURRENDER
TO THE OFFICER OF THE COURT

IN TWO HOURS.

I'M GOING TO JAIL.

ANYWAY, THE, UH...

JUDGE REFERRED TO ME AS
AN UNCOOPERATIVE WITNESS.

WHY?



I REFUSED TO NAME MY
SOURCE OF INFORMATION.

OF COURSE. YOU CAN'T
DO THAT. IT'S CONFIDENTIAL.

YEAH, WE START PUTTING THE
FINGERS ON OUR SQUEALERS,

WE MIGHT AS WELL PACK
IT IN AND GO FISHING.

I LOVE THAT KIND OF TALK.

OF COURSE, YOU'RE IN
CHARGE DURING MY ABSENCE.

OH, BARNEY, I'M...

HEY, YOU'RE SENIOR OFFICER.

YEAH, BUT, I MEAN, THERE'S
JUST THE THREE OF US NOW.

BARN, WE GOT A
DISTURBANCE OVER ON CANAL.

UH, YOU AND DIETRICH.

I'LL ADAPT.

Man: HEY, GOOD-LOOKING.

OKAY, IN THE CAGE.

HAVE A PLEASANT EVENING.

Man #2: YOU'RE IN MY LIGHT.

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Man: KICK IT.

THANK YOU.

Man: I DIDN'T DO IT FOR YOU.

LOOK, UH...

I DON'T KNOW HOW
LONG I'LL BE IN HERE,

AND I DON'T KNOW
HOW LONG YOU WILL.

BUT, UH, I'M BARNEY.

Man: YOU READING?

HMM? UH, NO.

GOOD.

'CAUSE I DON'T
LIKE BEING IGNORED.

SO, UH...

WHEN DO THEY SERVE
BREAKFAST AROUND HERE?

SOONER OR LATER.

THANK YOU.

GUY BEFORE YOU ALWAYS
USED TO GIVE ME HIS MILK.

OKAY. I JUST NEED A
LITTLE FOR THE COFFEE.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER, HUH?

STUPID IDIOT.

MAKES ME SICK.

THEY WERE ALL WAITING FOR ME.

I WALKED RIGHT INTO IT,
MADE IT EASY FOR EVERYBODY,

ESPECIALLY FOR HER.

HER AND THAT DAMN POODLE.

THEY USED TO BE
FINE HUNTING DOGS,

DID YOU KNOW THAT?

LOVED WATER, PROUD, INDEPENDENT.

THEN THEY MADE THEM SMALL.

GUESS YOU'RE A
LITTLE ANGRY, HUH?

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

GOOD.

THEN EXPLAIN IT.

HI, RON.

ARTHUR.

YOU'RE LATE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WOJO WAS ALREADY HERE.

HE HAD TO GO OUT
ON A CALL ALONE.

UH-HUH.

LOOK, ARTHUR, UM, I REALIZE
IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.

IT'S JUST THAT,
UH, I THINK WE ALL

WANT TO KEEP THE SQUAD ROOM
RUNNING AS SMOOTHLY AS POSSIBLE.

SO AS LONG AS I'VE
BEEN PUT IN CHARGE,

I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO THE SAME
RESPECT YOU'D GIVE TO BARNEY.

SURE.

GOOD.

OH, UM, HOW YOU COMING

WITH THOSE QUARTERLY
CRIME STATISTICS?

THREW THEM IN THE GARBAGE.

OKAY.

I'M BEGINNING TO GET
USED TO THIS PLACE.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

HEY, ANYTHING FROM BARNEY YET?

UH, WE HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING.

BOY, I HOPE HE'S NOT DEAD.

US TOO.

UH, WOJ, WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

THEY GOT HIT AGAIN.

LAST NIGHT SOME CREEP
KICKED IN THE BACK DOOR

OF THE THRIFT SHOP.

OH, WONDERFUL.

THAT'S WHAT BARNEY ALWAYS SAYS.

WELL, HE DOESN'T OWN IT.

SERGEANT, I MADE A QUICK
INVENTORY WHILE WE WERE THERE.

UM, I'M AFRAID THEY MADE OFF

WITH OVER $500 WORTH
OF HOCKABLE MERCHANDISE.

THEY TOOK MY MOTOROLA.

IT WAS THE FIRST RADIO I FIXED

AS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC
ON THE WORK-THERAPY PROGRAM.

IT ONLY GOT ONE STATION...
ALL NEWS IN KOREAN.

BUT TO ME, ANYWAY,
IT WAS SPECIAL.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,
RAYMOND. WE'LL FIND IT.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

UM...

HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD
TRY GOING UNDERCOVER.

OH, YEAH?

SURE.

WE COULD, UH, PUT YOU
IN ONE OF THEM GETUPS.

YOU COULD CIRCULATE, MOVE
AROUND THE VARIOUS FACILITIES,

AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIND OUT.

THIS IS NOT A GETUP.

THIS IS A UNIFORM OF A
SALVATIONIST, SERGEANT...

A RELIGIOUS GARMENT,
NOT A HALLOWEEN COSTUME.

AND REGARDLESS, I CAN'T
SANCTION IT BEING USED

IN THE MANNER THAT
YOU'VE SUGGESTED.

IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

MELINDA, HE JUST DIDN'T KNOW.

IT'S HIS FIRST DAY IN CHARGE.

I UNDERSTAND.

LOOK, LET'S FILL OUT THE REPORT,

AND THEN I'LL GO BACK DOWN THERE

AND JUST MINGLE
AROUND A LITTLE BIT...

DRESSED LIKE THIS.

THAT WOULD BE FINE.

IS THAT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU?

OH, FINE. FINE.

VISITING HOUR IS 20
MINUTES... NO SHOUTING,

NO ABUSIVE LANGUAGE,
NO PASSING OF NOTES.

HEY, HEY. BARN.

IT'S A NICE FAMILY.

WE WERE GONNA BREAK YOU
OUT, BUT THEY TOOK OUR GUNS.

WELL, I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT.

LOOK, BARN, WE'RE ON LUNCH,

SO WE HAVEN'T GOT A LOT OF TIME.

OH, YEAH. SURE.

DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING
FROM THE DEPARTMENT YET?

- NOT A WORD. HOW ABOUT YOU?
- NOTHING.

WELL, HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?

WELL, UH...

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED,
NOT TOO BAD.

I'M NOT USED TO SLEEPING ALONE.

BE THANKFUL.

SO, BARN, WHEN DO
YOU GO BACK TO COURT?

THIS AFTERNOON.

YOU GET A LAWYER YET?

UH, LIZ IS OUT SHOPPING
FOR ONE RIGHT NOW.

THE ONE WHO'S SUING
ME IS QUITE GOOD.

SO, UH, EVERYTHING OKAY
DOWN AT THE SQUAD ROOM?

OH, SURE, FINE. NO PROBLEMS.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY, BARN?

WELL, WITHIN REASON.

YEAH, WELL, DO
YOU NEED ANYTHING?

NOTHING I CAN THINK OF, NO.

UH, WELL, I GUESS WE REALLY
BETTER BE GOING, BARN.

YEAH, YEAH.

TAKE IT EASY, HUH?

OKAY. GOOD SEEING YOU.

CAKE'S IN THE MAIL.

WE'RE ALL WITH YOU, SIR.

WHAT... WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A YELLOW RIBBON, SIR.

I HAD ONE LEFT OVER. I
FIGURED, WHAT THE HELL?

YOU'RE WORTH IT.

THANK YOU, LEVITT.

HAVE A GOOD DAY ONE, SIR.

CARL, LET'S GO.

YEAH, LOOK, I'LL CATCH
UP WITH YOU IN A MINUTE,

ALL RIGHT?

OH, YEAH. SURE.

SEE YOU, BARN.

WOJO, I'M FINE. I'M REALLY FINE.

IT'S ABOUT ME.

OH.

AND, UH... AND LIEUTENANT HOLLY.

LIEUTENANT HOLLY?

YOU KNOW, THE OFFICER
FROM THE SALVATION ARMY

I'M WORKING WITH.

OH, THE SALVATION ARMY! RIGHT.

YEAH, WELL... THE
THING IS THAT...

I REALLY LIKE HER.

AND I THINK THAT SHE LIKES ME.

BUT THE OTHER THING
IS THAT SHE'S ORDAINED.

AND SO THEY'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO GET SERIOUS

EXCEPT, YOU KNOW,
WITH THEIR OWN KIND.

SO I...

WOJO, YOU'RE TALKING
TO A MAN IN JAIL!

YEAH.

I SLEEP TWO FEET FROM A TOILET.

I SHARE A CELL WITH A LUNATIC

WHO WON'T LEAVE
MY BREAKFAST ALONE.

I'M SURE YOU CAN APPRECIATE
IT'S A LITTLE DIFFICULT

TO FOCUS IN ON YOUR
PROBLEMS WITH WOMEN.

YEAH, RIGHT.

I'LL WAIT IN YOUR OFFICE.

Man: FINISH DINNER?

APPARENTLY.

Man: I'VE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT YOU.

REALLY?

DO YOU MIND?

BE MY GUEST.

YOU ARE A VERY
NEAT AND TIDY PERSON,

EVEN WHEN YOU SLEEP.

I KNOW 'CAUSE I'VE WATCHED YOU.

SO, UH... YOU FOLLOW
SPORTS MUCH?

SHE DID.

OH.

SHE LOVED HOCKEY.

THE PHYSICAL CONTACT
AND VIOLENCE EXCITED HER.

REALLY?

YOU A HOCKEY FAN, BARNEY?

I GO TO AN OCCASIONAL
RANGER GAME, YEAH.

THEN YOU MUST HAVE SEEN HER.

I REALLY WOULDN'T KNOW.

SURE, YOU WOULD.

SHE WAS THE BLONDE
IN THE BLACK DRESS

WITH A SLIT UP THE SIDE.

I'D HAVE TO THINK.

SHE KNEW THE
EFFECT IT HAD ON MEN,

AND I GUESS YOU
WERE NO DIFFERENT.

PARDON ME?

FIRST A LITTLE
SMALL TALK, EH, BARN?

THEN A COUPLE OF
DRINKS AT THE CLUB LEVEL.

THEN BACK TO THE PLAZA HOTEL...

OR MAYBE YOU
SUGGESTED THE PIERRE.

LESS CONSPICUOUS. I AGREE.

UH, LISTEN...

GET UP TO THE HOTEL
ROOM, CHAMPAGNE ON ICE.

AND THEN YOU MADE LOVE,

HER FLESH INTERMINGLING
WITH YOURS.

AND THEN YOU
PAUSED ONCE IN A WHILE

SO THAT YOU COULD SHARE
A LAUGH AT MY EXPENSE.

FINALLY, WHEN THE SUN CAME UP,

YOU BOTH WENT
YOUR SEPARATE WAYS.

LOOK...

AND NOW THEY HAVE PUT
YOU IN THE SAME CELL WITH ME.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE
ODDS ON A THING LIKE THAT?

GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.

GOOD MORNING, SERGEANT HARRIS.

IS WOJO NOT BACK?

HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

WHAT DO YOU GOT, LEVITT?

IT'S ANOTHER ARTICLE
ON THE CAPTAIN'S PLIGHT.

OH.

THEY SEEM TO BE GETTING SMALLER.

THIS WAS ON PAGE 14
OF THE FOOD SECTION.

THAT'S THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS.

FIRST DAY IT'S BIG NEWS.

COUPLE OF DAYS GO BY,
PEOPLE LOSE INTEREST.

YOU GOT THE SPORTS?

HEY, GUYS.

UH, ANY LUCK, WOJ?

WELL, I SPENT HALF THE NIGHT
AT THE HARBOR LIGHT CENTER.

AND THEN I STAKED OUT
THAT OTHER THRIFT SHOP,

AND NOTHING HAPPENED.

WELL, GIVE IT ANOTHER
SHOT TONIGHT, HUH?

ALL RIGHT.

- HOW'S BARN?
- I'M SURE HE'S FINE.

WELL, DIDN'T YOU TALK
TO HIM YESTERDAY?

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD.

NO, I'VE BEEN ON THIS DETAIL.

I WENT AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND.

I WROTE HIM A LETTER.

12th PRECINCT. LEVITT.

WELL, LET'S GO SEE HIM TOMORROW.

ALARM JUST WENT OFF

AT THE SALVATION ARMY
SENIOR CENTER ON HOUSTON.

AH, YOU AND WOJ.

UH, DIETRICH? I'LL
BE IN MY OFFICE.

GOT THESE CRIME
STATISTICS FOR YOU.

HEY, THANK YOU, ARTHUR.

COULD HAVE TYPED THEM.

YOU COULD HAVE HAD THEM FRAMED.

YOU DECIDE.

Man: HEY.

WHAT?

YOU GOT ANY MORE
OF THAT CANDY LEFT?

IT'S MINE! YOU HAD ENOUGH!

I NEED TO EAT.

I KNOW.

IF I LISTEN HARD ENOUGH,
I CAN HEAR MYSELF CHEW.

IT HELPS TO DROWN
OUT MY THOUGHTS.

ALL RIGHT.

BUT I WANT MY BLANKET BACK.

HOW'S IT GOING? HI, GUYS.

BARNEY.

RAY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I CAME TO VISIT YOU.

AND THEY JUST LET YOU IN?

YEAH, WELL, THE ARMY HAS A
PRISONER OUTREACH PROGRAM.

I COME HERE TWICE A WEEK
TO GIVE ADVICE AND GUIDANCE.

HUH.

YOU WANT SOME?

NO OFFENSE, RAY.

JUST NOT IN THE MOOD, HUH?

YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.

YEAH? I WISH I DID.

SAY SOMETHING, BARNEY?

NO, NO.

- SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING.
- I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

JUST WISH SOMEBODY
WOULD EXPLAIN TO ME...

WHY A MAN WHO'S COMMITTED
OVER 20 YEARS OF HIS LIFE

TO WHAT HE KNOWS IS RIGHT

DESERVES TO WIND UP
IN A RATHOLE LIKE THIS.

THAT'S A TOUGH QUESTION.

MAYBE I JUST GOT
CAUGHT IN THE MACHINERY...

A VICTIM OF SOME
PERVERSE HIGHER ORDER

THAT CONDEMNS ME
TO SIT HERE AND ROT

WHILE MY LAWYER
TELLS ME TO BE PATIENT.

THESE THINGS DON'T
HAPPEN OVERNIGHT.

OH, DON'T I KNOW IT.

FIRST THE DEPARTMENT'S GOT
TO TAKE IT UNDER ADVISEMENT

WITH THE COMMISSIONER,

WHO'S OUT TAKING A
LATE LUNCH WITH THE D.A.,

WHO'S WISHING TO
GOD THE DAMN JUDGE

WOULD COME TO SOME
ACCOMMODATION WITH MY ATTORNEY,

WHO KEEPS TELLING
ME TO BE PATIENT!

BARN, BOY, TAKE IT EASY.

I'M SORRY, RAY.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO
LAY THIS ALL ON YOU.

I'M JUST BEGINNING TO FEEL
LIKE THE LONGER I'M HERE...

THE LONGER I'M
GONNA HAVE TO STAY.

IT'S ALWAYS DARKEST
BEFORE THE DAWN.

HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
MY SNEAKING THAT ONE IN.

LISTEN, I REALLY
APPRECIATE YOU COMING.

SO, YOU WANT ME TO
BRING YOU ANYTHING?

BOOKS, MAGAZINES?

Man: I'LL TAKE A
LIFE MAGAZINE...

OCTOBER 8, 1943.

I'LL WORK ON IT.

TAKE CARE.

I WAS ON THE COVER.

LET'S GO, MILLER. JUDGE
WANTS TO SEE YOU.

I SAW HIM THIS MORNING.

AND YOU'RE GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN.

COME ON.

Man: BARNEY, WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?

THE COURT.

I SUPPOSE THAT MAKES
YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU SHUT
YOUR BIG, FAT MOUTH?!

I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

WE ARE.

THEN WHY DID YOU
DESTROY MY MARRIAGE?

COME ON. LET'S GO.

GOOD LUCK.

INSIDE, DUNCAN.

WHAT, NO MOVIE THIS TIME?

WHY? YOU WANT TO SEE STARS?

OH, CLEVER.

SO, UH, WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?

ARTHUR DUNCAN... PICKED HIM
UP OVER AT THE SENIOR CENTER.

HE WAS IN THE
ARTS-AND-CRAFTS ROOM

TRYING TO MAKE OFF
WITH A SEWING MACHINE

AND A COUPLE OF CARTONS OF YARN.

THEY WEREN'T EVEN SWEATERS YET.

DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEPLACE?

MAYBE. I USED TO
PLAY THE ACCORDION.

SERGEANT HARRIS, IF YOU RECALL,

MR. DUNCAN WAS
PREVIOUSLY ARRESTED

BY SERGEANT
WOJCIEHOWICZ AND MYSELF

FOR ASSAULTING THE HANDICAPPED.

OH, SURE.

YOU WERE THE GUY WHO WENT
AROUND MUGGING BLIND PEOPLE,

PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS, RIGHT?

THANKS FOR REMEMBERING.

AND ON THE WAY DOWN,

HE CONFESSED TO THE OTHER
SALVATION ARMY BREAK-INS.

WHY NOT? ALL I EVER
GOT THERE WAS JUNK.

I GAVE MOST OF IT TO GOODWILL.

GOODWILL!

LEVITT, BOOK HIM.

OVER HERE, DUNCAN.

YOU GOT HIM?

YEAH. UH, YEAH, WE DID.

AND YOU'RE JUST IN TIME
TO SIGN A COMPLAINT.

NO, THANK YOU. I'LL
JUST TAKE HIM WITH ME.

YOU'RE STILL SAYING THAT YOU
DON'T WANT TO PRESS CHARGES?

NO.

NOT IF MISTER... ARTHUR DUNCAN.

MR. DUNCAN AGREES TO GO
DOWN TO THE CENTER FOR A CHAT.

I HAVE NO PLANS.

LOOK, MELINDA, THIS
GUY ISN'T WORTH IT.

HE'S GOT PRIORS AS
LONG AS YOUR ARM.

HE'S GONNA TAKE OFF THE
MINUTE YOU HIT THE STREET.

I DON'T THINK HE WILL.

I GIVE YOU MY WORD.

TURN HIM LOOSE.

BARN, YOU'RE OUT! HEY, BARNEY!

WELCOME BACK, SIR.

HEY, WHERE YOU BEEN?

JUST DROPPED BY TO LET YOU
GUYS KNOW I WAS RELEASED.

WELL, WE WERE GONNA COME
DOWN AND SEE YOU TOMORROW.

SAVED YOU A TRIP.

WHAT HAPPENED? DID
YOU GIVE THEM A NAME?

NO!

NO, I KNEW THAT.

I GUESS THE JUDGE FIGURED
THAT BETWEEN THE TWO OF US

WE WERE DOING A FINE JOB OF
DESTROYING EACH OTHER'S CAREERS,

SO HE POSTPONED THE
TRIAL A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

HE'S GONNA TRY AND WORK
OUT SOME KIND OF COMPROMISE.

SO DO YOU FEEL OKAY?

YEAH.

JUST GONNA CLEAN
UP AND HEAD ON HOME.

I'M READY WHENEVER YOU ARE.

RAYMOND, WOULD YOU
SEE TO MR. DUNCAN,

AND I'LL JOIN YOU LATER?

OKAY, ARTHUR. WE'RE
GOING TO THE CENTER NOW.

OH. WHERE DO YOU GUYS
KEEP YOUR DOUGHNUTS?

I LOOKED ALL OVER FOR THEM.

THAT'S THE U.S.O.

OH. WRONG ARMY.

- YEAH.
- YEAH.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A WASTE OF TIME
TRYING TO CONVERT THAT GUY.

HE WON'T BE THE
FIRST ONE I'VE LOST.

YEAH, RIGHT.

LOOK, MAYBE WE CAN
ARREST HIM AGAIN SOMETIME.

YOU KNOW, I'M USUALLY NOT
ATTRACTED TO WOMEN LIKE YOU.

OH.

I MEAN THAT, UH...

THAT USUALLY I... I
DON'T KNOW WHY...

BUT I SEEM TO
GRAVITATE TOWARD...

THE TYPES WHO
ARE LESS... UPRIGHT.

YOU KNOW.

YOU WEREN'T EVER A
HOOKER, WERE YOU?

NO.

WELL, GOOD.

GOODBYE.

BYE.

LET'S GET THIS DAMN
CELL CLEANED UP, OKAY?!

HARRIS.

BARNEY.

I WAS, UH...

JUST ENJOYING THE LAST
FEW MOMENTS OF POWER.

ANTICIPATING A LENGTHY STAY?

NO.

I JUST, UH... BROUGHT
IN A COUPLE OF THINGS,

THOUGHT I WOULD
PERSONALIZE IT A LITTLE.

I'LL CANCEL THE PAINTERS.

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