Barney Miller (1975–1982): Season 3, Episode 21 - Strike: Part 1 - full transcript

The city is threatened with a police force strike. A woman is robbed by her computer date.

Hi, boys. Hi, Barn...

Gone. Every damn one of them.

The lousy...

Hey, Barney!

Hello, inspector.
How's it going?

You gave me a bit of
a turn there, you know?

How's it going?
Ah, lousy. Lousy.

We're gonna have our
hands full today, Barney.

Half the division
already called in sick.

The commissioner's boiling over.

I don't think
it'll last too long.

You know,
traditionally, the blue flu

is about a 24-hour virus.

Yeah. I... I don't think
so this time, Barney.

There's gonna be a
full-fledged strike, you know.

I mean, the guys beefing
about the working conditions,

the hours they've
been putting in,

the... The... The pay.
We've heard that before.

A lot of stinko pinko
talk, huh, Barney?

Well, they got a
point there, you know.

Point? What kind
of point they got?

A cop is a cop. Supposed
to be out there in the street

whipping the
citizenry into shape.

They're not supposed to be
crawling around the sidewalk

with these signs, "Down
with this, down with that."

Blah, blah.

In the old days we'd have
been there with the nightsticks,

you know, rapping some
sense into their cheesy skulls.

Emotions are
running high. I'm a...

I'm afraid there's liable to be
a confrontation just like that.

Well, I certainly hope so.

What about your boys, Barney?

Expect them all in?

I haven't heard
anything to the contrary.

No. And you won't
neither, Barney,

because your men
respect you, huh?

That's more than I can
say for most of the captains

in my division.

Twelfth Precinct.
Captain Miller speaking.

Oh, hello, Kogan.

Oh, really. Sorry to hear that.

Is it, uh, serious?


Fever, chills.


That's an unusual symptom.

Oh, it's been coming
on for some time.

Well, uh, stay in
bed till you cool off.


Ungrateful, irresponsible...

Swine flu, eh?

Your Aunt Harry's got the...

I get starting up,
Barney. I'm afraid so.

Yeah, sure. Imagine.

Cops walking out
on the jobs, huh?

Physically, Barney,
it just makes me...

Uh, when I think about
it... Don't think about it.

Thanks, Barney.

Hello, inspector. Hi, Barn.


Wojciehowicz, eh?

The old bulldog for
you, right, Barney?

You know, when
the going' gets rough,

can always depend
on the Polakish people.



No, no, no, I mean it.

I mean it, Wojo.

The foreign element,
Barney, you know.

They'll never turn
their back on you.

They come over
here to our country,

they grab off some jobs,

real estate, freedom.

Huh? They appreciate
it though, right, Wojo?

Right, inspector. Sure.

Look at the shoulders
on that lad, Barney, why...

Why, he'd tear down the
building with his bare hands.

Uh, Wojo, do me a favor,

let's get those quarterly
reports out today.

I, uh, don't know what our
strength is gonna be like.

Um, anyone else in yet? No.

Well, I guess I'm early, huh?

Uh, anybody call in?



How is he?


Don't worry.

Just go right in here.

I... I don't want
to be any trouble.

Not at all. You're a victim.

It's good for business.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Your tragedy is our incentive.

We... We just love to see
nice people get in trouble.

Dietrich, right? Right.

Good to see you, Dietrich.

Good to see you too.

No, I really mean it, Dietrich.

Me too.

My, uh... My facial expressions,
uh, can be deceiving.


Uh, Dietrich, what
do we got here?

What we got here,
Captain Miller,

is a tribute to you, sir.

Inspector, I... No,
no, I mean it, Barney.

These men respect you.

They worship you.

Put you up on a throne
like some kind of idol.

Uh, brought you
a sacrifice, captain.


Oh, I was joking.

You know, did you ever
see the jungle movies

where they
sacrifice the virgins?

Hey, good, Dietrich.

Wha...? What...? I'm... Oh.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

Excuse me.

Nick, what do we got? Uh,
Barney, this is Miss Lane.

She was robbed.

She belongs to one of
these, uh, dating services.

And, uh, this guy called and
said he was referred to her,

came over and robbed her.

But he wasn't, uh,
with the service, huh?

No. He was good-looking.



See what you can find out.

Okay. This way, Miss Lane.

I was just saving
myself for marriage.

I put a few bucks away,
uh, every week too.

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Good morning. ALL: Good morning.

Hey, Detective Harris.

Barney. What did
I tell you, Barney?

Follow the leader.

Good morning. Inspector.

I want you to know you're a
credit to that badge, Harris.

Thank you.

It's an old suit.

Came up the, uh, back way, huh?

Oh, uh, yeah.

Just a little variance
in my routine.

Kind of breaks up the day.

Uh, Barn.

Uh, that was Bernice.

Fish isn't coming in today.

He... He's sick.
He's got the flu.


Well, I'll, uh... I'll
just use his desk

until he gets back on his feet.

A little sarcasm there?

Oh. It shows, huh?

It's these young
punk kids, Barney,

that are causing the trouble.

You know? These new centurions.

What are they trying to prove?

If they wanna go out on strike,

why don't they be
truck drivers, not cops?

That's where the
money is anyhow.


Well, what?

What are you gonna do?


Depends on what?

What you're talking about.

I'm talking about the strike.

It's not a strike.

It's a show of solidarity.

It's a demonstration
of common goals,

to point up to the
city that there's a need

for major reforms.

We're all supposed to march out.

It's to get their attention.

And to put the establishment
under public pressure

to effect some kind of action.

How about you, Dietrich?

You gonna demonstrate at noon?

I haven't made up my mind yet.

I figured you would've
studied all the issues by now.

I have.

I'm opposed to more
budget cuts and layoffs.

Yeah. I'm opposed to reducing

our manpower to where our jobs

become more dangerous. Right on.

They very foundations of our
futures are being threatened,

and I'm adamantly
opposed to that.

Me too. I'm going.

I'm going with you. All right.

But I haven't made
up my mind yet.

I never realized before that so
many men had criminal records.

That's what happens
when you break the law.

You get a criminal record.

We get a pile of
those records here

and a person like yourself
comes by and says that.


"I never realized that so many
men had criminal records."

I'll go downstairs and
survey the situation.

You do that, inspector.
You ought to be proud.

I am. Blind obedience.

Only the great
ones get it, Barney.

Ours is not to reason
why, our... All right, Harris.

All right.

Barney, uh, what do you
want to do with Miss Lane?

Did she find anybody
in the mug books?

Twelve she'd like
to settle down with.

Find out the name of the guy.

Maybe he'll use the
same name again.

Ahd go through that
date book of hers

and contact the
most likely targets.

Dietrich will give you a hand.

I'll do it, but it'll take a
long time to call them all.

Do as many as you can.

I won't work one day
more than 30 years.

Hey, you got a
convention up here

compared to what
showed up downstairs.

How many showed up?

Me, uh, Cracetti and Bloom.

Three out of 48?

Loyalty is a rare and
precious human quality.


I, uh... I thought I'd point
it out to Captain Miller

as long as I'm upstairs.

By all means.

Not that I don't
feel a responsibility

to my fellow officers. I...

I mean, conditions
being what they are,

I get burned up at the
whole administration.

I kid you not.

It's five of 12.

The time for talk is over.

I mean, it's a question
of solidarity right now.

A united front, a concerted
effort, all of us together.

It's our only option.

I'm going.

I'm staying.

Who cares?

You coming, Nick?

Well, if it'll prove a
point, I'll go along.

Dietrich, you with us?

I'll go.

All right.

The music stopped.

Everybody's supposed
to grab a chair.

We're going, Barn.

It's unanimous.

Okay, see you around.

I'm not going, sir.

I'm not surprised, Levitt.

Thank you, sir.

Barn, we felt...
It's okay, Wojo,

no explanations necessary.

Twelfth Precinct,
Captain Miller speaking.

Yeah, just a minute.

Let me get that, uh, address.

Okay, we'll have
somebody right over there.

Uh, what...? What is it, Barn?

Liquor store holdup in progress.

We'll take it.

Hey, Wojo.

Look, you guys are
walking. This is part of it.

I'll take care of it.
Levitt, man the phones.

You can count on me, sir.

I'm taking it.

I'm going with him.


We're checking this one
out and then we're going.

I understand.

What are we supposed to do?


We're on strike.

We'll wait here for you
guys and we just won't work.


It'll be fun, you know?

We'll stay here
and we won't work.

I don't feel any different.

Uh, ahem, is this your first?


First strike.


How do you like it so far?

I got nothing to compare it to.

I hear they got some, uh...

They got some pretty powerful
labor unions over in Japan.

Yeah, I got an uncle
that's, uh, head of a

garment union over there.

Those strikes over there
get pretty violent, don't they?

Yeah, he gets
thrown into jail a lot.

I guess you could call
him a rabble-rouser.

Or a...


It's... You know, ethnic humor.

It's part of our heritage.

Excuse me, Sergeant Yemana.

I've finished looking
at those books.


What should I do now?

I don't know.

We're demonstrating.

Oh. I heard you
talking about it.

What is it that you want?

Dignity, security, respect.

Wouldn't it be wonderful
if all you had to do

to get something
was to demonstrate?

That sounds risqué, doesn't it?

Um, is there anyone
here I could talk to?

Uh... Uh, Barney!


I looked at all the men
in your photo albums,

but I couldn't find anybody.

Sorry to hear that.

I'm used to it.

Did you, uh...? Did you
give Sergeant Yemana

a list of the missing items?

I would, but he
won't do anything.

I know how you feel.

How's everything going
along up here, Barney?

Yeah, okay. Downstairs
they're pretty...

What's this?

Levitt downstairs told
me everybody had walked.

That seems to be the plan

as soon as Wojo and
Harris come back from a call.

In the meantime, what
we've got is a sit-in.

A sit-in?

You must be kidding.

Nick Yemana?

You of all people.

It seemed like the
right thing to do.

The right thing to d...?

The right thing to do,
Nick, is to stand fast,

and continue to serve
the public and your leader.

Where's that...? All that
old Japanese loyalty, huh?

How about them kamikaze
pilots in World War II? Remember?



That was dedication.

It was also very ineffective.


The kamikaze
program was a failure.

The losses in manpower
and equipment never balanced

with actual inflicted damage.

Most of the pilots
were just very bad.

Oh, yeah?

Good ones couldn't
get past practice.

Get in here. Come on. Listen,

what kind of a
police strike is this?

You're supposed
to be not working.

Hey, keep it quiet.
Ah, you scabs.

Knock it off.

We got him coming out
of the liquor store, Barn,

and, uh, he grabbed
about 300 bucks

and he used this. And
I got a permit for that.

Oh, that makes all the
difference in the world.

Come on, sit down.

Wojo, book him.

Uh, let me just do this.

You know, the
city's dying out there

and there's nothing
you guys can do about it.

Right, right. They're
killing each other off

one by one and it's
gonna be the end.

Excuse me.

Uh, 12th Precinct,
Captain Miller speaking.

Can you hold on one second?

Twelfth Precinct,
Captain Miller speaking.

Uh, no, ma'am, the, uh, police
department has not resigned.

Just a little internal dispute.

Okay, I'll take
that information.

Uh, hold on one second.
Twelfth Precinct, Captain Miller.

Uh, look, can you
hold on one second?

Uh, inspector... Huh, Barn?

It's starting to get busy here.

Could you give us a hand?
At your disposal, Barney.

Okay. Sure thing, you know.

Anything you want. You
and me between the two of us

could run the whole
precinct all by ourselves.

Without any help
from the "I want this,

I want that, you know what."

Just thinking about
it, Barney, makes me...

Uh, don't think
about it, inspector.

Just keep it out of your mind.

Inspector, uh,

we need some more
information from Miss, Lane.

Oh, yes, of course.

Ahem, how do you do,
Miss Lane? My pleasure.

I'm, uh, Inspector
Franklin D. Luger,

N.Y.P.D. at your
convenience night or day.

Thank you.

Uh, inspector, we need a list
of the items that are missing.

Oh, sure. Yes. Why
don't you sit down here

for a minute, Miss Lane,

while we check out your goodies?

Okay, who's your employer?

Oh, why are you bothering
me with this stupidity?

Why aren't you out on
the line with the other cops?

Just give me your employer.

Oh, listen, I hate scabs.

I hate scabs worse
than I do the bosses.

Look, nobody cares about you.

Nobody cares about anybody.

Listen, why aren't
you out there?

Let the public be damned.

The hell with the public.

We're doing this for the public.

Don't give me that.

The public hates cops.

I know. I hate cops.

I'm part of the public.

Listen, they give you
guys your guns, right?

I have to go out and find mine.

And they make it very hard,

because they say it
makes it easier for criminal.

That is baloney.

It just makes it harder
for guys like me.

You are a criminal.

Yeah, now!

Uh, yeah. Just hold on a minute.

Twelfth Precinct,
Captain Miller speaking.

Yes, and he took
two silver candlesticks.

I always use the candlesticks
for intimate dinners.

Well, you know what I mean?

No. I, uh... I never
use them myself.

I, uh... I generally like
to check things out first,

you know, under
fluorescent lights.

I don't want something
jumping out at me

that I ain't never seen before.

Oh. Ha.

I think you should know, sir,

it's getting pretty
ugly out there.

It may be necessary
to use force.

There it is. There it is.

The beginning of the end.

The beginning of the bloodbath

and Charlie Privette
could care less.

These cathedrals of progress

are gonna come
tumbling down in rubble.

Fires are gonna light
up the streets of the city.

Every man, woman and
child is gonna be dead.

And the winner
is gonna be Satan,

and little Charlie Privette

is gonna be there to
applaud his good works.

You wanna make a statement?

I got nothing to say.

All right, let's
go. In the cage.

In the cage, right,
right. We're all animals.

That's where we
belong. In the cage.

You're an animal, I'm an animal.

We're all animals.
We're all savage beasts,

scratching and clawing
and mauling each other.

My name's Lana.

Okay, guys, let's get going.


Twelfth Precinct,
Miller speaking.

Wojo, you, uh... You ready?

Yeah, just let me give this...

Uh, hold on a minute, ma'am.

Our dating robber
just called again.

Lady says he's on his way over.

Ma'am, if you just
give us your address,

we'll have somebody
waiting for him.

Okay, apartment?

Okay. Thank you, ma'am.

We can't do it,
Barney. Not this time.

Barn, we have to do, you know...

Inspector, what do you say?

I'll take it, captain.

I guess you know you
might as well have just stuck

a knife into his
guts. Inspector...

Twisted it around in his organs.

Inspector, the man
is almost there, huh?

Et tu, Caesar?


Ah, you know what I meant.

Uh, Barney, we'll see you later.

See you.

Barn, look...

Take care.

Vaya con dios, amigo.


I don't joke about
things like that, captain.

It's a black day at the
12th. Levitt, not now.

I understand, sir.

You wanna be alone.