Baretta (1975–1978): Season 1, Episode 12 - This Ain't My Bag - full transcript
What's the matter? Six months ago, a
woman named Adelaide Pentel disappeared.
We found her two weeks
later, but murdered and raped...
The other theory is,
husbands have been known
sometimes to kill their wives for money?
Just covering the bases, sir.
What have you done with her?
What do you mean? I'm as
worried about her as you are.
So we got us a psychopathic
sexocologist, huh?
I'm thinking that may have been
what happened to Mary Parsons.
You sure the reason we're going in
there is because you forgot your money?
As a matter of fact,
darling, it's my birthday...
Now, hold it. Wait a minute.
No, see, I got the hot
water on for the chili dogs
and seeing as how I've been
so terrific to you all year long,
we might start the evening by you
giving me a little birthday present.
Now, you know a
little birthday present
is going to take until
4:00 in the morning
and I want to see that movie.
Now, why would you want
to watch Burt Reynolds
when you can spend the evening
dancing in the dark
with Prince Valentino?
Mmm. Come on.
Let the good times roll!
Mimi, darling, you
got a heart of gold.
All: Surprise!
Baretta: Happy birthday!
I got horse for you in
the fifth race tomorrow.
Beautiful!
Happy birthday, sugar!
Hey, Foley! Are you gonna
wish me a happy birthday?
Happy birthday... What?
I love you.
Billy, my boy, happy birthday.
Both: Happy birthday.
How you doing? Fine.
I'd do better, if I
had longer arms.
I see what you mean there.
Hey, Freddy, my man! Hello!
Salud! Happy birthday!
I got a blue jay down the
street... you're gonna love him.
Rooster: Hey, baby... 20!
Let me see you beat that!
Aw, Chicken Soup, are you
winning all the money again?
You know it,
darling, I always win.
He's got nothing to worry about.
I'll take you up to the apartment
and I'll make you chicken soup.
You're gonna love
her chicken soup, man.
21! Read 'em and weep!
She's been cheating me all
night. Hey, baby, look here...
Hiya, boss!
I never thought I'd have
you at my party before.
What are you doing here?
Happy birthday, Baretta, but
I'm afraid I'm here on business.
I have to talk to you alone. Do
you got any place we can go?
Yeah. Excuse me, darling.
Come on into my
office for a second.
Sit right here in
my favorite chair.
I got to go to the bathroom.
Hold it! Give us a
couple minutes, will you?
Right there. I got...
Got to use the facilities.
Sit down, boss.
What's on your mind?
Thanks.
I'm sorry to bust in on
your party, but I've got to...
No thanks... I've got to send you to
Mount Chester first thing in the morning.
That hotsy-totsy neighborhood?
Why? Do they need an
Italian gardener there?
Yeah, they may just
put you to work at that.
Do you know Mike Parsons?
Yeah, we used to work
Little League together.
That guy is what a
Public Defender should be.
Yeah, well, his sister-in-law
has just disappeared.
The captain is a little upset.
Why? What do you mean?
Six months ago, a young woman
named Adelaide Pentel disappeared.
We found her two weeks
later, but murdered and raped,
so we're not sure
what we're dealing with.
Oh, boy. Yeah.
I found the tequila.
Listen, darling, the ol' chili
dog's gonna have to go on ice
for awhile on
account of duty calls.
Sometimes I'm not sure what
the hell language you're talking.
Pardon me.
Right away,
Baretta. Adios, boss.
The fact of the matter is, this
ain't only my birthday party...
Ohh! Ahh!
It's my going away party, too,
so let's make it a good one.
Foley, it's all yours, kid.
Hello, I'm Detective Baretta...
they're expecting me?
Since 9:30.
This way, please.
Hello, Michael.
Maid: Detective Baretta.
Tony Baretta in a suit?
Baretta: Yeah, how about that?
Been hanging around
those Italian weddings?
The boss was sending me up
here in this hotsy-totsy terrain,
so he figured he better dress me
correct, and bought me a couple of suits.
Very nice of him. I'm not sure,
on account of he don't know it yet.
You know George
here? I don't think so, sir.
How do you do?
Very nice to meet you.
Say, have you ever been
up around my terrain...
The King Edwards Hotel, maybe?
Is that near the Dorchester?
That's about $2 million
west of the Dorchester.
Tony, listen, I'm really late.
I got a case in
20 minutes and...
I'm sorry, Michael, I had
a birthday party last night.
I know I was supposed to be
here at 9:30, but I was in a coma.
It doesn't matter. I'm
anxious to talk to you.
Could you catch
up with me later?
Right... any place. Where?
I'm going to be in court until
2:30, then I've got these kids
down at the ballpark
where we used to play.
Could you come out there?
That'll be nice. See you there.
I'm anxious to talk
to you. Right, okay.
I'll see you, George.
I'm gonna have a
scotch. How about you?
No, no thank you.
I'm still burning off a little
of that "Itralian" kerosene
from the birthday party.
What a place.
This is all my brother
Michael's idea, you understand?
No, sir, I don't understand.
Well, it takes at least 24 hours
for someone to be declared
legally missing, doesn't it?
Yep.
Well, then she's not...
quite missing... legally.
You're right.
Your brother Michael
seems to be very concerned,
but you don't seem
to be that concerned.
Mary has gone
off like this before...
without a word.
Once she went on an art tour, another
time she joined a meditation group.
She even spent some time
on an Indian reservation once.
She always calls or cables
a couple of days later.
Michael is overreacting. I see.
Look, I love my wife.
I'm not overly
concerned at this point,
but since Michael
has called you in,
you're doing us some
sort of favor, I assume.
Oh, no.
I'll be happy to cooperate
in any way I can.
I'll take this
one. I'll do that!
Oh, excuse me. All right.
Did she say anything to you
about where she was going?
No.
Where is this, ma'am?
Lake Dinsmuir...
Belongs to the family.
She doesn't go there anymore.
Oh.
You don't know if she
kept a diary, do you?
I wouldn't know.
Thank you.
When did you see
her last, ma'am?
Yesterday, when she
came back from riding.
She goes riding every day,
then I draw her
bath for her as usual.
I see.
Did she seem moody,
or anything like that?
No... she's a very
beautiful person.
Uh-huh.
And this is?
Her favorite perfume.
Yes, it's lovely... lovely.
It's the same smell.
Yes.
Yeah.
What is this for,
ma'am? Do you know?
No.
Well... oh... her riding.
Where did she go riding?
Did she have her own horse?
The estate has its own stables.
Hello?
Hello... police officer.
Am I alone?
Hold it! I'm a cop!
Listen! Wait a minute!
Hold it! I'm a cop!
Wait a minute!
Hold it. Look. See?
Police officer. I
thought you were a thief.
You don't kill a thief. I
would not have killed you.
A man's home is his castle.
That's something
sacred, don't you agree?
Yes, sir, that's what
the good book says.
Wow, you're strong!
You must be Eric,
the stablemaster, right?
Right.
My name is Tony
Baretta and I'm a cop.
I'm just investigating
the disappearance
of Mary Parsons.
What do you mean, the
disappearance of Mary Parsons?
She's gone. What do
you mean she's gone?
Where? What? She
travels spontaneously,
but they've never called in the police
before. What are you doing here?
Well, I'm just... I'm
looking for her, sir.
Maybe she... She's a
free spirit, that's all I know.
You're probably right.
You know how these things are.
People get very excited
when somebody's missing,
and yet down at the
department I can show you
all kinds of facts on
middle-aged women.
We got statistics that
show that... Statistics?!
Middle-aged women? Yes.
What do you know about Mary?
Why, they...
I don't really know
anything about her, sir.
These aren't my people.
I don't know what makes
women do what they do.
I'm just kind of reaching
around. I need your help.
She's the only reason I'm here.
I'm not a stablemaster or groom,
not Lady Chatterley's
lover, either.
I watched her grow up.
We had that rare thing...
a meeting of minds.
But you wouldn't
understand that.
Woman on tape: "If I can
stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one
life the aching,
Or cool one pain;
If I can call you
friend and love you,
Though often I'm
Abel, you are Cain
And soon we'll fade
like morning dew;
I shall not live in vain."
That second stanza was hers,
completing a fragment
of Emily Dickinson.
Lately... we've been
studying Steinbeck,
"East of Eden."
Oh, I understand that,
sir, I read "East of Eden."
When I was in the Merchants,
I read a lot of Steinbeck.
It's really very beautiful.
She plays, too.
I took her to her first opera...
She was eight years
old. She loved it.
That's her playing...
your middle-aged statistic.
I'm sorry, sir.
I was just, you know,
shooting my mouth off.
I don't know what
I'm talking about.
But I'm a cop,
and I have to deal
a little more in facts.
You know, maybe not so
much the people who loved her,
like yourself, but maybe
somebody who hated her,
or revenge. Hated Mary?
Revenge? No one hated Mary.
Everybody hates
somebody. Not Mary.
Maybe you're right.
How about an affair?
She was a beautiful woman.
Maybe she was having an affair with
someone. I have nothing more to say.
Not a meeting of the
minds, but a meeting of...
I have nothing more to say.
Yes, sir.
I'm sorry.
Get out.
You see there, Larry?
Ain't that the way
I told you to do
it all the time?
Michael: Get up there
and keep your eye on it.
How are you, kid? Do
you wanna talk? Yeah.
Attaboy! See there? I told you.
Kid's got a swing
just like yours.
Keep your eyes open!
I appreciate this.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
Listen, Michael, I ain't
got nothing for you.
She passed the 24-hour mark,
so now she's a missing person.
I have put out a
report, description,
license number on the car.
They're watching the
airports and all that,
but they ain't gonna
come up with nothing.
What's your brother's story?
Well, he's real
worried, you know.
The hell he is. I didn't
get that from him at all.
Well, that's just his way.
He's concerned about this
Adelaide Pentel mess, I don't know.
That's been going on for six
months, he's still running around.
We ain't even gonna
think about that at all.
Tell me what you know about
the tank commander
there... Eric.
Did you have a run-in with him?
He gets a little tense, yeah.
He's a strange guy.
Got all those brains,
but he's got the
personality of a slug.
What's his story? He came out of
World War Il kinda shaky, you know.
Yeah? Went to
work for the family
and he watched Mary grow up.
He's been devoted
to her for a long time.
Yeah, well, I'm gonna
keep my eye on him.
Listen, don't worry
about this thing, will you?
Do you want my
opinion? The old cop?
I think she just took a cab.
That's all. She's gonna show
up and surprise everybody.
No, I don't think so.
I got a real bad
feeling about it.
But that's just a feeling.
It ain't based on nothing.
You're not keeping
anything from me, right?
You just gotta find
her, you gotta find her.
All right, all right,
we're gonna find her.
Okay.
Baretta: Anyway, you
know everything that I know.
We're looking for a rapist,
a burglar, a murderer,
anything that'll pull the damn
string on this whole charade.
Yeah. Hit the streets.
Hey, I'd like to talk to
you about your upholstery.
Just hit the streets and get
your sniffer working, will you?
Yeah. No guarantees.
I'm not used to this fresh air.
So ol' fat and fine gets
the house calls, huh?
He's working for nothing.
Come on back to my haberdashery.
Oh, so you're saving
the dirty work for me?
I'm paying you $50.
$50, man? You know times
is hard. I can use that 50.
For $50 I can give
you an umbrella
and tell you to follow an
elephant. Now put that on.
Man, you got to be jivin' me.
These is work clothes.
I can't be wearing this.
Do you want to see
me take that $50 back?
You're reducing me back
a hundred years, man.
This is a trip, man. Tote
that barge, lift that bale.
No, it ain't tote that barge,
it's tote that stick and poke
them leaves and watch that house.
Get to it! That's not right.
The Black Moses of the
Ghetto wearing overalls.
Every dog will
have his day though,
and good dogs will have two.
My folks won't believe
this stuff... overalls!
Got me out here
with these crazy folks.
Yassuh, Mr. Charlie,
I's going up to the big
house get some watermelon.
I get through with
this gig, brother,
I'm gonna paint you white.
Is that you, love?
It's me.
I thought you were
somebody else.
You make these, huh?
That's correct.
Ain't that fascinating
how that turns
into a big building?
Oh, I meant to ask
you the other day,
do you know where that's from?
Sea-Foam Motel.
Mary and I spent
our honeymoon there.
Where did you get it? I
picked it up in her room
with a couple of other things.
She keeps those things.
She has a sentimental streak.
Yeah, but my problem is
that this color-coded key...
That's a recent development.
I checked on the Sea-Foam Motel
and it was torn
down 10 years ago.
So the question is, what's
this key doing on that tab?
You're the
detective, Mr. Baretta.
Yeah, that's what
they pay me for.
Woman: George?
Yes, Mrs. Ellison?
Well, I was just going
to take the League's mail
and I thought I might
take yours as well.
No, thank you. No mail today.
I'll just go on, then.
Thank you.
That's the mailman?
She does volunteer
work across the hall.
She's a very good
friend of Mary's.
Say, where do you sign
up for that volunteer work?
See you later.
You're so charming.
You're just getting all my gossip
out of me. May I use your lavatory?
You know, I never talk
about my neighbors.
Oh, no, no.
The Parsons' ears
must be burning.
I feel so wicked.
When did you say the book
would be out? The book out?
I think it'll be
out... Never mind.
I won't dare to read it.
Now, where was I?
Where are you, Mary?
Where and why?
Hello there, Chiefy!
This is Baretta.
I'm covering Mount
Chester like a glove, kid.
What do you got for me?
Well, what I got is bad news.
There was an
attempted rape last night
near Lonwitter's Fashion Square.
She was an attractive
young woman about 25.
She was beat up pretty badly,
but I guess she's
gonna be all right.
This thing is getting
too complicated.
What do you got? Any
clues? Any description?
Just that the assailant was
strong... on the athletic side.
She was too hysterical
to notice anything else.
So we got us a psychopathic
sexocologist, huh?
Yeah. I'm beginning to
think that may have been
what happened to Mary Parsons.
All right, Chief,
I'll hit the streets.
Check with you later.
Woman: 'Night, Kiki,
see you next week.
All right, baby, don't scream
or I'll kill you! Do you
understand? Yes, sir.
All right. Now, get in the car!
Start taking your clothes off!
Start taking 'em off!
I sure hope he paid well, baby,
'cause he sure did
take liberties with you.
You big dummy!
Where have you been?
Why didn't you
help me get this guy?
Baby, I ain't getting my
clothes all messed up
chasing some silly rapist.
Besides, I got two sailors
waiting for me up on the avenue.
Hey, what happened to Billy?
Billy scored already,
baby. He's all tied up.
What'll you have, Snow
White? A Plantation Special.
Give me a bourbon and a
little branch water on the side.
Ain't this a trip,
man? Well, hi there!
Where's your pink panties?
Can I use your phone?
You got it.
I hate to see you back
in all them butch duds.
You look awful
cute the other way.
A little lopsided.
Hello, Foley? Baretta,
what do you got?
Tony, he's come unglued.
He's with the chief right now.
What do you got?
What did he say?
He found out that he
assaulted that lady last night.
But we can't touch him on the
Adelaide Pentel or Mary Parsons.
What do you mean? Why not?
He just got out of the
mental hospital yesterday.
Oh, boy. I get 'em all.
All right, thanks.
Well, we still
ain't got no rapist.
I guess the guy just liked me.
Ain't that something?
What did you get, Billy?
Well, I learned not too
much out of the ordinary.
There was a tragedy years ago.
Her childhood sweetheart drowned
at her family's summer
cottage down by Lake Dinsmuir.
She's known as the
Longworth heiress.
She's got the money?
Loaded.
I hate to ask you how you did.
Yo, man, all I saw
was this brother
with a dictionary in his
mouth washing a camper.
So I go up this brother
to see what's happening.
He says, "Mr. George uses
the camper to go fishing."
You know, like
once or twice a week.
So like he says,
his wife, Mary...
she don't go nowhere
near the lake for years.
So, I check out
Georgie's gambling record.
Georgie is a freak
behind the ponies, man.
Likes to play but
don't want to pay.
Got some heavy
machers on the dude.
Ain't that something?
He owes a bundle
and she's got the bank account.
Rooster, if you wasn't
such a good hood,
I'd turn you into a cop.
Woman: Mr. Metz, don't!
Mr. Parsons!
Mr. Metz: All right, where
is she? What did you do?
What are you talking about?
I don't want any excuses!
Now calm down.
What did you do to her?
You did it! You did it!
Let me go, Eric!
Eric: I'll kill you!
Hold on now, come here!
Get up off him, man. Come on!
Now, hold it. Hold it now!
Nobody wants to fight.
No, no, hold it now.
Just sit down,
everything's okay.
Wait a minute,
just take it easy.
You don't have to
go. Wait a minute.
Eric?
I don't know what got into him.
Sit down here a minute. He
really gets tense, don't he?
Boy, what was that all about?
You okay? Oh, yeah.
I need a drink.
Do you want something?
A Scotch or anything?
Nothing for me, thank you.
Do you suppose I
oughta pick him up?
Maybe... No, no, no.
He's just as disturbed as I am
about Mary's disappearance.
Just leave him alone.
Okay... right.
I understand.
You just get yourself together.
Well, I...
Actually, I came by just
to touch base with you.
I got a couple of things I
wanna talk to you about.
It's nothing official,
you understand?
I'm not Sherlock Holmes,
I'm just from the streets.
This really ain't my bag, so
you'll have to bear with me.
Anyway, you remember I said
I knew you from someplace?
Well, I didn't see you
at The Dorchester Hotel.
It was about a
month and a half ago.
We raided Louis Banana's
horse-betting parlor,
and you were there.
It didn't show
up in the records.
I guess you took
care of that some way.
Anyway, when I found out
that you were bitten
by the pony bug,
I did a little checking around
and as it turns out, sir...
you're into the mob
for quite a bundle.
And not only that, but in
the last year and a half,
your business has been
doing very, very bad.
And as it turns out,
everything is in
your wife's name.
All the bank
accounts, the house,
everything is in her name.
There's only one
thing in your name...
An insurance policy.
Her life insurance policy.
And you're the sole beneficiary.
Are you sure you
wouldn't like a scotch?
No, no, thank you.
Well... moving right along here,
I got two theories.
One is, that the mob
snatched your wife.
Now that could happen, sir.
When a member of the family don't
pay, they're liable to do anything.
And the other theory
is... The other theory is,
husbands have been
known sometimes
to kill their wives for money?
I'm just covering
the bases, sir.
Well, if you take
the time to find out,
you'd see that I'd already
made arrangements
to pay Mr. Donnet in full.
Well, could you
explain to me, sir,
how a man whose
business is almost bankrupt,
everything is in
his wife's name,
comes up with 122 G's to
bail his way out of the mob?
The answer to
that is very simple...
My wife loves me.
I beg your pardon?
She loves me.
Now, if you wake
up tomorrow morning
bright and early
and call my banker,
you'll see that Mary had
transferred $122,000...
Voluntarily and in person
three days before
she disappeared.
Oh... Now... unless
you want that scotch,
or have something
further to offer,
please say good night.
Well, sir, I guess I'm
kinda snookered anyway.
Like I said, Mr. Parsons,
this really ain't my bag.
But I have been known
to come off with three rails
and sink the eight ball when
the bread was on the table.
Good night, sir.
Woman: Young man!
Thank you, ma'am.
Hold it, Mrs.
Ellison. I'm a cop.
My name's Tony Baretta,
now don't get tense.
You were with
Mr. Parsons yesterday.
Yeah, but it ain't
Mr. Parsons, is it?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You don't? I got a
tape recording of it.
Why don't I turn it on and we'll
both find out what I'm talking about?
Look, if any of
this would get out,
it could ruin a lot of
people... not just me.
Maybe it won't get out. But
you don't know that for sure!
Mary Parsons is missing
and I'm going to find her.
Does she know? No.
Mary and I are good friends.
If something has
happened to Mary...
Then all of Mount Chester
would hit the fan, wouldn't it?
But that tape. What
was said in there?
Can I have the tape?
Please? Sure.
But...
first I'll play it for you,
then you can have it.
See, that's Blind Lemons
Jefferson doing the Too Late Blues.
Yup, that's him.
Somebody pulled the plug
on the old tank commander.
Is that what he
had on him? Yeah.
Could have been rough. Yeah, it
could have been, but don't bet on it.
What do you got, Charlie?
No sign of blood.
No sign of struggle.
You don't get a shot in the head
like that without bleeding a lot.
All we got is somebody
dragged him up here and that's it.
Yeah, well, whatever
the tank commander had...
was in his mind...
and you don't steal that
without stealing his life, too.
Baretta: I ain't exactly
got it all unraveled yet.
But it's getting
very interesting.
I got one brother
who's worried to death.
I got another brother who
also happens to be the husband,
but he thinks he's on a picnic.
And you know something else?
That stiff last night, Eric? That
was not a robbery and assault.
That's a whole charade. Tony.
This is all we got
on what's-his-name...
Eric Metz.
He owns some bungalow
courts over on Juniper Street.
Now, you see that? Get
over to the Hall of Records,
find out what else
you can get for me.
This is very interesting
on account that Eric
and Mary both got the same key.
I'm dancing over to those
courts to see what I can find out.
All right, but take it
a little easy up there.
Mount Chester is
not the street scene.
Kid gloves, boss. Look...
new duds, no street clothes.
Yeah, fine.
Baretta! Yeah?
Come back here.
Come back here!
What's the matter, boss?
You didn't by any
chance pay for that suit
out of departmental
funds, did you?
Oh, well... yeah, I
did. I got two of them.
You are single-handedly putting
this department over budget.
What the hell are
you trying to do to me?
Well, keep poking around.
They ain't gonna find anything.
I'll tell you what you can
do... Get some troops...
Baretta? ...see if anybody
saw or heard anything.
Yeah? You were right.
We came up with some dried blood
between the cracks
in the floor. Ah-ha.
Someone used some strong
detergent, tried to get rid of it.
How about fingerprints?
The place is clean.
Whoever lived here must
have wore gloves. Yeah, sure.
I bet you dollars
to donuts that blood
turns out to be the
same as Eric Metz's.
We ain't through yet.
The kid's in his element now,
man, digging in the garbage.
What are we looking for?
Quiet. Watch the wizard at work.
Oh, man.
You see that?
Do you know what that is?
No, I got no idea.
That's 'cause you got no class.
That's very expensive scotch...
Way out of your league.
So, you see, Tony,
the prints definitely aren't
those of George Parsons.
Yeah, Bill, I see what you mean.
So, what have you got?
I'll tell you what I had, boss.
I had two guys
who hate each other.
I got Mary and Eric sharing the
same bungalow, the same key.
I had blood of
Eric's on the floor.
I had a bottle of scotch
that belongs to George.
I thought I had
his fingerprints on it
which gave me a
suspect, a motive.
Now I got no fingerprints,
no suspect, no motive.
I don't got nothing.
That's what I got.
We're gonna turn this whole
case over to Missing Persons
because you
haven't got anything!
I got two new suits.
Oh, by the way.
I found out that you went to one
of the most expensive
stores in town for those suits.
So, I've made arrangements for you
to buy them back from the department.
At only half their original
cost. Thanks, boss.
You what?!
Woman: "If I can call
you friend and love you,
Though often I'm
Abel, you are Cain
And soon we'll fade
like morning dew;
I shall not live in vain."
Dear Eric, It's quite late now.
Wouldn't it be nice
if I could go back
to the lake and Jimmy?
The title of "East of Eden"
comes from Genesis 4-16.
"And Cain went out from
the presence of the Lord,
and dwelt in the Land of Nod,
on the East of Eden."
My life is like the last
of Steinbeck's book.
I'm Abra.
Caught between two brothers,
one good and one bad;
and I'm afraid I
can't help myself.
I love the evil one.
I'm Abra.
Caught between two brothers,
one good and one bad;
and I'm afraid I
can't help myself.
I love the evil one.
Now you got it, Baretta.
They match the
prints on the bottle.
Yeah, so I got
Michael Parsons' prints.
I know what I got.
I ain't got nothing.
Ah, brother Michael, come on in.
Tony, what is this? What are
you doing in my apartment?
Something dumb. Sit down.
I'll tell you why it's dumb.
On account of anybody
who's smart enough
to wash down a whole bungalow
to wipe away all
the fingerprints,
ain't gonna be silly enough
to leave any kind of evidence
around his apartment, is he?
I don't follow this, Tony.
Oh, really, you're
not following me, huh?
You see, I found your
fingerprints on a bottle of scotch
in the garbage can out
behind the bungalow...
The one you were
shacking up with Mary in?
You know, the one
that Eric owned.
Yeah, Eric figured into
it some way, didn't he?
I don't know exactly how,
but something went down
between you and him,
and you snuffed him.
He ain't drinking your drink.
I'll tell you what else I got.
I got a tape recording
where Mary says,
"I love two brothers...
One good and one bad,
but I love the bad one most."
Mary said that?
Yeah.
Tastes like cough medicine.
Yeah, brother Michael,
that's what she said.
Now it's your turn
to say something...
but you're too smart
for that, ain't you?
All you gotta do is keep your mouth shut
and I'll never be able to carry you off.
All I got is a lot of
circumstantial evidence.
And if I got you in a courtroom,
you'd blow me out of the water
in five minutes, wouldn't you?
Where do you think she is, Tony?
In the Land of
Nod, East of Eden.
You know about that, don't you?
I asked a priest... he said
that means she's wandering.
Remember I said she took a cab?
Well, that's what she did...
and boy, for her sake,
I hope she stays away.
I... I love her, Tony.
Somehow that news fails
to disquiet me, my man.
In other words, I don't care.
Michael?
Oh, brother George! Come on in.
Yes, have a drink.
Scotch, I believe
it is... right here.
Don't you want to
hear what I got to say?
Not particularly. Michael, I have
something private to discuss with you.
Come on, I'm just trying
to tie up a few loose ends
before I pack my bags.
It seems that brother
Michael has got a problem,
on account of he was dancing
in the dark with your ol' lady,
just like you were
with Catherine,
only Michael got a little tense
because his charade got muddy,
so he snuffed the
tank commander, Eric.
You didn't know
that, did you, George?
What, about the affair?
Yes, I knew about it.
What?
And I appreciated
my brother's discretion.
Boy, oh boy, oh boy.
No wonder she took a cab.
Man, with a pair
like you to draw to,
and Eric for a hole
card... mm, mm, mm.
Listen, Tony... Yes,
Michael, what is it?
Nothing.
Nothing... that's what I
figured, maybe it was nothing.
I guess you must be the
bad one, huh, George?
The thing I can't figure is
why she loved you at all,
on account of I
don't even like you.
Oh, really. Yeah, really.
Go ahead, walk away,
'cause that's what I'm gonna do.
Like I said, you
people just ain't my bag.
Michael, I hope I
nail you some day.
Make a mistake.
If I don't... live with it.
I'm gonna get this monkey suit
off and go back to my dirty streets,
where I can breathe
some clean air.
Mary's voice: I
shall not live in vain.
Mike's voice: I love her, Tony.
Mary's voice: If I can
ease one life the aching...
Billy's voice: Her childhood
sweetheart drowned at her family's
summer cottage
down by Lake Dinsmuir.
Mary's voice: Wouldn't it be nice if I
could go back to the lake and Jimmy?
Go back to my first love...
Lake Dinsmuir.
I guess it wasn't
your bag either, huh?
Mary's voice: "Dearest
Michael, I'm sorry.
I couldn't return your love.
I tried.
I know it was warm, genuine...
That made it all the worse.
I love George, still...
Strange that I should.
He doesn't love
me. What can I do?
The boy I loved and who
loved me died so very long ago.
I guess it happens only once.
Forgive me, Mary."
Only once, Tony.
Yep.
Well, I guess she
snookered us both.
You thought she
was in love with you,
and I thought she took a cab.
I guess I ain't
so smart at that.
Anyway, there ain't
much to say now
but maybe in a little while,
after the water calms down...
Tony? Yeah.
I, uh... I'm gonna go with you.
Fair enough.
Tony, let me put
it to you this way...
We may not spend as much
money on rose fertilizer...
Thanks... as those
folks in Mount Chester,
but we have each other
and I'll settle for that...
and a little two-bit gin.
Amen, brother. Yeah.
As long as that window
over there is open
and I can hear them sounds
and smell them smells,
I'll know who I am.
Well, I wish I knew who I was.
Had me wearing them
funny sponges, man.
I've had one identity
crisis after another.
Just remember, next time...
Round sponges, not square.
Hey! Gin! Gin?
That's it, fellas.
Again? There's
somebody at the door.
Come on, give me
some money here.
Mimi darling, girl, what
are you doing here?
I brought your
birthday present...
and some chili dogs.
Lovely, lovely!
Have you got the tequila?
Have I got the tequila?
Wait just a minute... I got
a little clearing up to do.
Hold on a second. You
got a cousin in there?
I don't got no cousin!
Come on in... We
got a gin game going.
Why don't you move it down,
you guys. Gin? That's terrific!
Play with her, you'll
go home by bus.
Why don't you go downstairs and play
with Fred? Give me one of those dogs.
No, we're not
having chili dogs now.
Can you get some glasses?
Certainly, I'll get glasses
for you. It'll be just fine.
Oh, this is marvelous!
Hey, Fred. Hi.
Do you want to go to the movies?
Do you like Burt Reynolds?
Terrific.
woman named Adelaide Pentel disappeared.
We found her two weeks
later, but murdered and raped...
The other theory is,
husbands have been known
sometimes to kill their wives for money?
Just covering the bases, sir.
What have you done with her?
What do you mean? I'm as
worried about her as you are.
So we got us a psychopathic
sexocologist, huh?
I'm thinking that may have been
what happened to Mary Parsons.
You sure the reason we're going in
there is because you forgot your money?
As a matter of fact,
darling, it's my birthday...
Now, hold it. Wait a minute.
No, see, I got the hot
water on for the chili dogs
and seeing as how I've been
so terrific to you all year long,
we might start the evening by you
giving me a little birthday present.
Now, you know a
little birthday present
is going to take until
4:00 in the morning
and I want to see that movie.
Now, why would you want
to watch Burt Reynolds
when you can spend the evening
dancing in the dark
with Prince Valentino?
Mmm. Come on.
Let the good times roll!
Mimi, darling, you
got a heart of gold.
All: Surprise!
Baretta: Happy birthday!
I got horse for you in
the fifth race tomorrow.
Beautiful!
Happy birthday, sugar!
Hey, Foley! Are you gonna
wish me a happy birthday?
Happy birthday... What?
I love you.
Billy, my boy, happy birthday.
Both: Happy birthday.
How you doing? Fine.
I'd do better, if I
had longer arms.
I see what you mean there.
Hey, Freddy, my man! Hello!
Salud! Happy birthday!
I got a blue jay down the
street... you're gonna love him.
Rooster: Hey, baby... 20!
Let me see you beat that!
Aw, Chicken Soup, are you
winning all the money again?
You know it,
darling, I always win.
He's got nothing to worry about.
I'll take you up to the apartment
and I'll make you chicken soup.
You're gonna love
her chicken soup, man.
21! Read 'em and weep!
She's been cheating me all
night. Hey, baby, look here...
Hiya, boss!
I never thought I'd have
you at my party before.
What are you doing here?
Happy birthday, Baretta, but
I'm afraid I'm here on business.
I have to talk to you alone. Do
you got any place we can go?
Yeah. Excuse me, darling.
Come on into my
office for a second.
Sit right here in
my favorite chair.
I got to go to the bathroom.
Hold it! Give us a
couple minutes, will you?
Right there. I got...
Got to use the facilities.
Sit down, boss.
What's on your mind?
Thanks.
I'm sorry to bust in on
your party, but I've got to...
No thanks... I've got to send you to
Mount Chester first thing in the morning.
That hotsy-totsy neighborhood?
Why? Do they need an
Italian gardener there?
Yeah, they may just
put you to work at that.
Do you know Mike Parsons?
Yeah, we used to work
Little League together.
That guy is what a
Public Defender should be.
Yeah, well, his sister-in-law
has just disappeared.
The captain is a little upset.
Why? What do you mean?
Six months ago, a young woman
named Adelaide Pentel disappeared.
We found her two weeks
later, but murdered and raped,
so we're not sure
what we're dealing with.
Oh, boy. Yeah.
I found the tequila.
Listen, darling, the ol' chili
dog's gonna have to go on ice
for awhile on
account of duty calls.
Sometimes I'm not sure what
the hell language you're talking.
Pardon me.
Right away,
Baretta. Adios, boss.
The fact of the matter is, this
ain't only my birthday party...
Ohh! Ahh!
It's my going away party, too,
so let's make it a good one.
Foley, it's all yours, kid.
Hello, I'm Detective Baretta...
they're expecting me?
Since 9:30.
This way, please.
Hello, Michael.
Maid: Detective Baretta.
Tony Baretta in a suit?
Baretta: Yeah, how about that?
Been hanging around
those Italian weddings?
The boss was sending me up
here in this hotsy-totsy terrain,
so he figured he better dress me
correct, and bought me a couple of suits.
Very nice of him. I'm not sure,
on account of he don't know it yet.
You know George
here? I don't think so, sir.
How do you do?
Very nice to meet you.
Say, have you ever been
up around my terrain...
The King Edwards Hotel, maybe?
Is that near the Dorchester?
That's about $2 million
west of the Dorchester.
Tony, listen, I'm really late.
I got a case in
20 minutes and...
I'm sorry, Michael, I had
a birthday party last night.
I know I was supposed to be
here at 9:30, but I was in a coma.
It doesn't matter. I'm
anxious to talk to you.
Could you catch
up with me later?
Right... any place. Where?
I'm going to be in court until
2:30, then I've got these kids
down at the ballpark
where we used to play.
Could you come out there?
That'll be nice. See you there.
I'm anxious to talk
to you. Right, okay.
I'll see you, George.
I'm gonna have a
scotch. How about you?
No, no thank you.
I'm still burning off a little
of that "Itralian" kerosene
from the birthday party.
What a place.
This is all my brother
Michael's idea, you understand?
No, sir, I don't understand.
Well, it takes at least 24 hours
for someone to be declared
legally missing, doesn't it?
Yep.
Well, then she's not...
quite missing... legally.
You're right.
Your brother Michael
seems to be very concerned,
but you don't seem
to be that concerned.
Mary has gone
off like this before...
without a word.
Once she went on an art tour, another
time she joined a meditation group.
She even spent some time
on an Indian reservation once.
She always calls or cables
a couple of days later.
Michael is overreacting. I see.
Look, I love my wife.
I'm not overly
concerned at this point,
but since Michael
has called you in,
you're doing us some
sort of favor, I assume.
Oh, no.
I'll be happy to cooperate
in any way I can.
I'll take this
one. I'll do that!
Oh, excuse me. All right.
Did she say anything to you
about where she was going?
No.
Where is this, ma'am?
Lake Dinsmuir...
Belongs to the family.
She doesn't go there anymore.
Oh.
You don't know if she
kept a diary, do you?
I wouldn't know.
Thank you.
When did you see
her last, ma'am?
Yesterday, when she
came back from riding.
She goes riding every day,
then I draw her
bath for her as usual.
I see.
Did she seem moody,
or anything like that?
No... she's a very
beautiful person.
Uh-huh.
And this is?
Her favorite perfume.
Yes, it's lovely... lovely.
It's the same smell.
Yes.
Yeah.
What is this for,
ma'am? Do you know?
No.
Well... oh... her riding.
Where did she go riding?
Did she have her own horse?
The estate has its own stables.
Hello?
Hello... police officer.
Am I alone?
Hold it! I'm a cop!
Listen! Wait a minute!
Hold it! I'm a cop!
Wait a minute!
Hold it. Look. See?
Police officer. I
thought you were a thief.
You don't kill a thief. I
would not have killed you.
A man's home is his castle.
That's something
sacred, don't you agree?
Yes, sir, that's what
the good book says.
Wow, you're strong!
You must be Eric,
the stablemaster, right?
Right.
My name is Tony
Baretta and I'm a cop.
I'm just investigating
the disappearance
of Mary Parsons.
What do you mean, the
disappearance of Mary Parsons?
She's gone. What do
you mean she's gone?
Where? What? She
travels spontaneously,
but they've never called in the police
before. What are you doing here?
Well, I'm just... I'm
looking for her, sir.
Maybe she... She's a
free spirit, that's all I know.
You're probably right.
You know how these things are.
People get very excited
when somebody's missing,
and yet down at the
department I can show you
all kinds of facts on
middle-aged women.
We got statistics that
show that... Statistics?!
Middle-aged women? Yes.
What do you know about Mary?
Why, they...
I don't really know
anything about her, sir.
These aren't my people.
I don't know what makes
women do what they do.
I'm just kind of reaching
around. I need your help.
She's the only reason I'm here.
I'm not a stablemaster or groom,
not Lady Chatterley's
lover, either.
I watched her grow up.
We had that rare thing...
a meeting of minds.
But you wouldn't
understand that.
Woman on tape: "If I can
stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one
life the aching,
Or cool one pain;
If I can call you
friend and love you,
Though often I'm
Abel, you are Cain
And soon we'll fade
like morning dew;
I shall not live in vain."
That second stanza was hers,
completing a fragment
of Emily Dickinson.
Lately... we've been
studying Steinbeck,
"East of Eden."
Oh, I understand that,
sir, I read "East of Eden."
When I was in the Merchants,
I read a lot of Steinbeck.
It's really very beautiful.
She plays, too.
I took her to her first opera...
She was eight years
old. She loved it.
That's her playing...
your middle-aged statistic.
I'm sorry, sir.
I was just, you know,
shooting my mouth off.
I don't know what
I'm talking about.
But I'm a cop,
and I have to deal
a little more in facts.
You know, maybe not so
much the people who loved her,
like yourself, but maybe
somebody who hated her,
or revenge. Hated Mary?
Revenge? No one hated Mary.
Everybody hates
somebody. Not Mary.
Maybe you're right.
How about an affair?
She was a beautiful woman.
Maybe she was having an affair with
someone. I have nothing more to say.
Not a meeting of the
minds, but a meeting of...
I have nothing more to say.
Yes, sir.
I'm sorry.
Get out.
You see there, Larry?
Ain't that the way
I told you to do
it all the time?
Michael: Get up there
and keep your eye on it.
How are you, kid? Do
you wanna talk? Yeah.
Attaboy! See there? I told you.
Kid's got a swing
just like yours.
Keep your eyes open!
I appreciate this.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
Listen, Michael, I ain't
got nothing for you.
She passed the 24-hour mark,
so now she's a missing person.
I have put out a
report, description,
license number on the car.
They're watching the
airports and all that,
but they ain't gonna
come up with nothing.
What's your brother's story?
Well, he's real
worried, you know.
The hell he is. I didn't
get that from him at all.
Well, that's just his way.
He's concerned about this
Adelaide Pentel mess, I don't know.
That's been going on for six
months, he's still running around.
We ain't even gonna
think about that at all.
Tell me what you know about
the tank commander
there... Eric.
Did you have a run-in with him?
He gets a little tense, yeah.
He's a strange guy.
Got all those brains,
but he's got the
personality of a slug.
What's his story? He came out of
World War Il kinda shaky, you know.
Yeah? Went to
work for the family
and he watched Mary grow up.
He's been devoted
to her for a long time.
Yeah, well, I'm gonna
keep my eye on him.
Listen, don't worry
about this thing, will you?
Do you want my
opinion? The old cop?
I think she just took a cab.
That's all. She's gonna show
up and surprise everybody.
No, I don't think so.
I got a real bad
feeling about it.
But that's just a feeling.
It ain't based on nothing.
You're not keeping
anything from me, right?
You just gotta find
her, you gotta find her.
All right, all right,
we're gonna find her.
Okay.
Baretta: Anyway, you
know everything that I know.
We're looking for a rapist,
a burglar, a murderer,
anything that'll pull the damn
string on this whole charade.
Yeah. Hit the streets.
Hey, I'd like to talk to
you about your upholstery.
Just hit the streets and get
your sniffer working, will you?
Yeah. No guarantees.
I'm not used to this fresh air.
So ol' fat and fine gets
the house calls, huh?
He's working for nothing.
Come on back to my haberdashery.
Oh, so you're saving
the dirty work for me?
I'm paying you $50.
$50, man? You know times
is hard. I can use that 50.
For $50 I can give
you an umbrella
and tell you to follow an
elephant. Now put that on.
Man, you got to be jivin' me.
These is work clothes.
I can't be wearing this.
Do you want to see
me take that $50 back?
You're reducing me back
a hundred years, man.
This is a trip, man. Tote
that barge, lift that bale.
No, it ain't tote that barge,
it's tote that stick and poke
them leaves and watch that house.
Get to it! That's not right.
The Black Moses of the
Ghetto wearing overalls.
Every dog will
have his day though,
and good dogs will have two.
My folks won't believe
this stuff... overalls!
Got me out here
with these crazy folks.
Yassuh, Mr. Charlie,
I's going up to the big
house get some watermelon.
I get through with
this gig, brother,
I'm gonna paint you white.
Is that you, love?
It's me.
I thought you were
somebody else.
You make these, huh?
That's correct.
Ain't that fascinating
how that turns
into a big building?
Oh, I meant to ask
you the other day,
do you know where that's from?
Sea-Foam Motel.
Mary and I spent
our honeymoon there.
Where did you get it? I
picked it up in her room
with a couple of other things.
She keeps those things.
She has a sentimental streak.
Yeah, but my problem is
that this color-coded key...
That's a recent development.
I checked on the Sea-Foam Motel
and it was torn
down 10 years ago.
So the question is, what's
this key doing on that tab?
You're the
detective, Mr. Baretta.
Yeah, that's what
they pay me for.
Woman: George?
Yes, Mrs. Ellison?
Well, I was just going
to take the League's mail
and I thought I might
take yours as well.
No, thank you. No mail today.
I'll just go on, then.
Thank you.
That's the mailman?
She does volunteer
work across the hall.
She's a very good
friend of Mary's.
Say, where do you sign
up for that volunteer work?
See you later.
You're so charming.
You're just getting all my gossip
out of me. May I use your lavatory?
You know, I never talk
about my neighbors.
Oh, no, no.
The Parsons' ears
must be burning.
I feel so wicked.
When did you say the book
would be out? The book out?
I think it'll be
out... Never mind.
I won't dare to read it.
Now, where was I?
Where are you, Mary?
Where and why?
Hello there, Chiefy!
This is Baretta.
I'm covering Mount
Chester like a glove, kid.
What do you got for me?
Well, what I got is bad news.
There was an
attempted rape last night
near Lonwitter's Fashion Square.
She was an attractive
young woman about 25.
She was beat up pretty badly,
but I guess she's
gonna be all right.
This thing is getting
too complicated.
What do you got? Any
clues? Any description?
Just that the assailant was
strong... on the athletic side.
She was too hysterical
to notice anything else.
So we got us a psychopathic
sexocologist, huh?
Yeah. I'm beginning to
think that may have been
what happened to Mary Parsons.
All right, Chief,
I'll hit the streets.
Check with you later.
Woman: 'Night, Kiki,
see you next week.
All right, baby, don't scream
or I'll kill you! Do you
understand? Yes, sir.
All right. Now, get in the car!
Start taking your clothes off!
Start taking 'em off!
I sure hope he paid well, baby,
'cause he sure did
take liberties with you.
You big dummy!
Where have you been?
Why didn't you
help me get this guy?
Baby, I ain't getting my
clothes all messed up
chasing some silly rapist.
Besides, I got two sailors
waiting for me up on the avenue.
Hey, what happened to Billy?
Billy scored already,
baby. He's all tied up.
What'll you have, Snow
White? A Plantation Special.
Give me a bourbon and a
little branch water on the side.
Ain't this a trip,
man? Well, hi there!
Where's your pink panties?
Can I use your phone?
You got it.
I hate to see you back
in all them butch duds.
You look awful
cute the other way.
A little lopsided.
Hello, Foley? Baretta,
what do you got?
Tony, he's come unglued.
He's with the chief right now.
What do you got?
What did he say?
He found out that he
assaulted that lady last night.
But we can't touch him on the
Adelaide Pentel or Mary Parsons.
What do you mean? Why not?
He just got out of the
mental hospital yesterday.
Oh, boy. I get 'em all.
All right, thanks.
Well, we still
ain't got no rapist.
I guess the guy just liked me.
Ain't that something?
What did you get, Billy?
Well, I learned not too
much out of the ordinary.
There was a tragedy years ago.
Her childhood sweetheart drowned
at her family's summer
cottage down by Lake Dinsmuir.
She's known as the
Longworth heiress.
She's got the money?
Loaded.
I hate to ask you how you did.
Yo, man, all I saw
was this brother
with a dictionary in his
mouth washing a camper.
So I go up this brother
to see what's happening.
He says, "Mr. George uses
the camper to go fishing."
You know, like
once or twice a week.
So like he says,
his wife, Mary...
she don't go nowhere
near the lake for years.
So, I check out
Georgie's gambling record.
Georgie is a freak
behind the ponies, man.
Likes to play but
don't want to pay.
Got some heavy
machers on the dude.
Ain't that something?
He owes a bundle
and she's got the bank account.
Rooster, if you wasn't
such a good hood,
I'd turn you into a cop.
Woman: Mr. Metz, don't!
Mr. Parsons!
Mr. Metz: All right, where
is she? What did you do?
What are you talking about?
I don't want any excuses!
Now calm down.
What did you do to her?
You did it! You did it!
Let me go, Eric!
Eric: I'll kill you!
Hold on now, come here!
Get up off him, man. Come on!
Now, hold it. Hold it now!
Nobody wants to fight.
No, no, hold it now.
Just sit down,
everything's okay.
Wait a minute,
just take it easy.
You don't have to
go. Wait a minute.
Eric?
I don't know what got into him.
Sit down here a minute. He
really gets tense, don't he?
Boy, what was that all about?
You okay? Oh, yeah.
I need a drink.
Do you want something?
A Scotch or anything?
Nothing for me, thank you.
Do you suppose I
oughta pick him up?
Maybe... No, no, no.
He's just as disturbed as I am
about Mary's disappearance.
Just leave him alone.
Okay... right.
I understand.
You just get yourself together.
Well, I...
Actually, I came by just
to touch base with you.
I got a couple of things I
wanna talk to you about.
It's nothing official,
you understand?
I'm not Sherlock Holmes,
I'm just from the streets.
This really ain't my bag, so
you'll have to bear with me.
Anyway, you remember I said
I knew you from someplace?
Well, I didn't see you
at The Dorchester Hotel.
It was about a
month and a half ago.
We raided Louis Banana's
horse-betting parlor,
and you were there.
It didn't show
up in the records.
I guess you took
care of that some way.
Anyway, when I found out
that you were bitten
by the pony bug,
I did a little checking around
and as it turns out, sir...
you're into the mob
for quite a bundle.
And not only that, but in
the last year and a half,
your business has been
doing very, very bad.
And as it turns out,
everything is in
your wife's name.
All the bank
accounts, the house,
everything is in her name.
There's only one
thing in your name...
An insurance policy.
Her life insurance policy.
And you're the sole beneficiary.
Are you sure you
wouldn't like a scotch?
No, no, thank you.
Well... moving right along here,
I got two theories.
One is, that the mob
snatched your wife.
Now that could happen, sir.
When a member of the family don't
pay, they're liable to do anything.
And the other theory
is... The other theory is,
husbands have been
known sometimes
to kill their wives for money?
I'm just covering
the bases, sir.
Well, if you take
the time to find out,
you'd see that I'd already
made arrangements
to pay Mr. Donnet in full.
Well, could you
explain to me, sir,
how a man whose
business is almost bankrupt,
everything is in
his wife's name,
comes up with 122 G's to
bail his way out of the mob?
The answer to
that is very simple...
My wife loves me.
I beg your pardon?
She loves me.
Now, if you wake
up tomorrow morning
bright and early
and call my banker,
you'll see that Mary had
transferred $122,000...
Voluntarily and in person
three days before
she disappeared.
Oh... Now... unless
you want that scotch,
or have something
further to offer,
please say good night.
Well, sir, I guess I'm
kinda snookered anyway.
Like I said, Mr. Parsons,
this really ain't my bag.
But I have been known
to come off with three rails
and sink the eight ball when
the bread was on the table.
Good night, sir.
Woman: Young man!
Thank you, ma'am.
Hold it, Mrs.
Ellison. I'm a cop.
My name's Tony Baretta,
now don't get tense.
You were with
Mr. Parsons yesterday.
Yeah, but it ain't
Mr. Parsons, is it?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You don't? I got a
tape recording of it.
Why don't I turn it on and we'll
both find out what I'm talking about?
Look, if any of
this would get out,
it could ruin a lot of
people... not just me.
Maybe it won't get out. But
you don't know that for sure!
Mary Parsons is missing
and I'm going to find her.
Does she know? No.
Mary and I are good friends.
If something has
happened to Mary...
Then all of Mount Chester
would hit the fan, wouldn't it?
But that tape. What
was said in there?
Can I have the tape?
Please? Sure.
But...
first I'll play it for you,
then you can have it.
See, that's Blind Lemons
Jefferson doing the Too Late Blues.
Yup, that's him.
Somebody pulled the plug
on the old tank commander.
Is that what he
had on him? Yeah.
Could have been rough. Yeah, it
could have been, but don't bet on it.
What do you got, Charlie?
No sign of blood.
No sign of struggle.
You don't get a shot in the head
like that without bleeding a lot.
All we got is somebody
dragged him up here and that's it.
Yeah, well, whatever
the tank commander had...
was in his mind...
and you don't steal that
without stealing his life, too.
Baretta: I ain't exactly
got it all unraveled yet.
But it's getting
very interesting.
I got one brother
who's worried to death.
I got another brother who
also happens to be the husband,
but he thinks he's on a picnic.
And you know something else?
That stiff last night, Eric? That
was not a robbery and assault.
That's a whole charade. Tony.
This is all we got
on what's-his-name...
Eric Metz.
He owns some bungalow
courts over on Juniper Street.
Now, you see that? Get
over to the Hall of Records,
find out what else
you can get for me.
This is very interesting
on account that Eric
and Mary both got the same key.
I'm dancing over to those
courts to see what I can find out.
All right, but take it
a little easy up there.
Mount Chester is
not the street scene.
Kid gloves, boss. Look...
new duds, no street clothes.
Yeah, fine.
Baretta! Yeah?
Come back here.
Come back here!
What's the matter, boss?
You didn't by any
chance pay for that suit
out of departmental
funds, did you?
Oh, well... yeah, I
did. I got two of them.
You are single-handedly putting
this department over budget.
What the hell are
you trying to do to me?
Well, keep poking around.
They ain't gonna find anything.
I'll tell you what you can
do... Get some troops...
Baretta? ...see if anybody
saw or heard anything.
Yeah? You were right.
We came up with some dried blood
between the cracks
in the floor. Ah-ha.
Someone used some strong
detergent, tried to get rid of it.
How about fingerprints?
The place is clean.
Whoever lived here must
have wore gloves. Yeah, sure.
I bet you dollars
to donuts that blood
turns out to be the
same as Eric Metz's.
We ain't through yet.
The kid's in his element now,
man, digging in the garbage.
What are we looking for?
Quiet. Watch the wizard at work.
Oh, man.
You see that?
Do you know what that is?
No, I got no idea.
That's 'cause you got no class.
That's very expensive scotch...
Way out of your league.
So, you see, Tony,
the prints definitely aren't
those of George Parsons.
Yeah, Bill, I see what you mean.
So, what have you got?
I'll tell you what I had, boss.
I had two guys
who hate each other.
I got Mary and Eric sharing the
same bungalow, the same key.
I had blood of
Eric's on the floor.
I had a bottle of scotch
that belongs to George.
I thought I had
his fingerprints on it
which gave me a
suspect, a motive.
Now I got no fingerprints,
no suspect, no motive.
I don't got nothing.
That's what I got.
We're gonna turn this whole
case over to Missing Persons
because you
haven't got anything!
I got two new suits.
Oh, by the way.
I found out that you went to one
of the most expensive
stores in town for those suits.
So, I've made arrangements for you
to buy them back from the department.
At only half their original
cost. Thanks, boss.
You what?!
Woman: "If I can call
you friend and love you,
Though often I'm
Abel, you are Cain
And soon we'll fade
like morning dew;
I shall not live in vain."
Dear Eric, It's quite late now.
Wouldn't it be nice
if I could go back
to the lake and Jimmy?
The title of "East of Eden"
comes from Genesis 4-16.
"And Cain went out from
the presence of the Lord,
and dwelt in the Land of Nod,
on the East of Eden."
My life is like the last
of Steinbeck's book.
I'm Abra.
Caught between two brothers,
one good and one bad;
and I'm afraid I
can't help myself.
I love the evil one.
I'm Abra.
Caught between two brothers,
one good and one bad;
and I'm afraid I
can't help myself.
I love the evil one.
Now you got it, Baretta.
They match the
prints on the bottle.
Yeah, so I got
Michael Parsons' prints.
I know what I got.
I ain't got nothing.
Ah, brother Michael, come on in.
Tony, what is this? What are
you doing in my apartment?
Something dumb. Sit down.
I'll tell you why it's dumb.
On account of anybody
who's smart enough
to wash down a whole bungalow
to wipe away all
the fingerprints,
ain't gonna be silly enough
to leave any kind of evidence
around his apartment, is he?
I don't follow this, Tony.
Oh, really, you're
not following me, huh?
You see, I found your
fingerprints on a bottle of scotch
in the garbage can out
behind the bungalow...
The one you were
shacking up with Mary in?
You know, the one
that Eric owned.
Yeah, Eric figured into
it some way, didn't he?
I don't know exactly how,
but something went down
between you and him,
and you snuffed him.
He ain't drinking your drink.
I'll tell you what else I got.
I got a tape recording
where Mary says,
"I love two brothers...
One good and one bad,
but I love the bad one most."
Mary said that?
Yeah.
Tastes like cough medicine.
Yeah, brother Michael,
that's what she said.
Now it's your turn
to say something...
but you're too smart
for that, ain't you?
All you gotta do is keep your mouth shut
and I'll never be able to carry you off.
All I got is a lot of
circumstantial evidence.
And if I got you in a courtroom,
you'd blow me out of the water
in five minutes, wouldn't you?
Where do you think she is, Tony?
In the Land of
Nod, East of Eden.
You know about that, don't you?
I asked a priest... he said
that means she's wandering.
Remember I said she took a cab?
Well, that's what she did...
and boy, for her sake,
I hope she stays away.
I... I love her, Tony.
Somehow that news fails
to disquiet me, my man.
In other words, I don't care.
Michael?
Oh, brother George! Come on in.
Yes, have a drink.
Scotch, I believe
it is... right here.
Don't you want to
hear what I got to say?
Not particularly. Michael, I have
something private to discuss with you.
Come on, I'm just trying
to tie up a few loose ends
before I pack my bags.
It seems that brother
Michael has got a problem,
on account of he was dancing
in the dark with your ol' lady,
just like you were
with Catherine,
only Michael got a little tense
because his charade got muddy,
so he snuffed the
tank commander, Eric.
You didn't know
that, did you, George?
What, about the affair?
Yes, I knew about it.
What?
And I appreciated
my brother's discretion.
Boy, oh boy, oh boy.
No wonder she took a cab.
Man, with a pair
like you to draw to,
and Eric for a hole
card... mm, mm, mm.
Listen, Tony... Yes,
Michael, what is it?
Nothing.
Nothing... that's what I
figured, maybe it was nothing.
I guess you must be the
bad one, huh, George?
The thing I can't figure is
why she loved you at all,
on account of I
don't even like you.
Oh, really. Yeah, really.
Go ahead, walk away,
'cause that's what I'm gonna do.
Like I said, you
people just ain't my bag.
Michael, I hope I
nail you some day.
Make a mistake.
If I don't... live with it.
I'm gonna get this monkey suit
off and go back to my dirty streets,
where I can breathe
some clean air.
Mary's voice: I
shall not live in vain.
Mike's voice: I love her, Tony.
Mary's voice: If I can
ease one life the aching...
Billy's voice: Her childhood
sweetheart drowned at her family's
summer cottage
down by Lake Dinsmuir.
Mary's voice: Wouldn't it be nice if I
could go back to the lake and Jimmy?
Go back to my first love...
Lake Dinsmuir.
I guess it wasn't
your bag either, huh?
Mary's voice: "Dearest
Michael, I'm sorry.
I couldn't return your love.
I tried.
I know it was warm, genuine...
That made it all the worse.
I love George, still...
Strange that I should.
He doesn't love
me. What can I do?
The boy I loved and who
loved me died so very long ago.
I guess it happens only once.
Forgive me, Mary."
Only once, Tony.
Yep.
Well, I guess she
snookered us both.
You thought she
was in love with you,
and I thought she took a cab.
I guess I ain't
so smart at that.
Anyway, there ain't
much to say now
but maybe in a little while,
after the water calms down...
Tony? Yeah.
I, uh... I'm gonna go with you.
Fair enough.
Tony, let me put
it to you this way...
We may not spend as much
money on rose fertilizer...
Thanks... as those
folks in Mount Chester,
but we have each other
and I'll settle for that...
and a little two-bit gin.
Amen, brother. Yeah.
As long as that window
over there is open
and I can hear them sounds
and smell them smells,
I'll know who I am.
Well, I wish I knew who I was.
Had me wearing them
funny sponges, man.
I've had one identity
crisis after another.
Just remember, next time...
Round sponges, not square.
Hey! Gin! Gin?
That's it, fellas.
Again? There's
somebody at the door.
Come on, give me
some money here.
Mimi darling, girl, what
are you doing here?
I brought your
birthday present...
and some chili dogs.
Lovely, lovely!
Have you got the tequila?
Have I got the tequila?
Wait just a minute... I got
a little clearing up to do.
Hold on a second. You
got a cousin in there?
I don't got no cousin!
Come on in... We
got a gin game going.
Why don't you move it down,
you guys. Gin? That's terrific!
Play with her, you'll
go home by bus.
Why don't you go downstairs and play
with Fred? Give me one of those dogs.
No, we're not
having chili dogs now.
Can you get some glasses?
Certainly, I'll get glasses
for you. It'll be just fine.
Oh, this is marvelous!
Hey, Fred. Hi.
Do you want to go to the movies?
Do you like Burt Reynolds?
Terrific.