Baretta (1975–1978): Season 1, Episode 10 - Keep Your Eye on the Sparrow - full transcript
26 burglaries in 13 days,
all of them in your territory,
and you don't know
anything about it!
Hold it! Hold it right there!
We checked on the bad
guys, maybe it's a good guy.
Get back! Willy, I love you!
Then you're my friend?
You get me out of here.
Please save him,
Your Honor. Please.
Goodbye, Gypsy.
Shiller: Another one here.
Here, here, here!
And there, and there, right?
Am I keeping you awake, Baretta?
No, sir. No, not at all.
26 burglaries in 13 days,
and all of them
in your territory,
and you don't know
anything about it.
I thought you were keeping
your ear to the ground, Baretta?
My ear ain't been
working too good lately.
What?
That's why I
thought I might just...
I took the weekend off
on account of my concentration
was just going bejork.
So, when my cousin, uh...
Came in town from... I
thought it was a good idea...
Another of the
cousins, eh, Baretta?
Yes, the Baretta family
has been said to be so large
that hand in hand, they could do
a water ballet around
the island of Capri.
Tell me, Baretta,
where do you...
where do you find the
strength for all these cousins?
Oh, you should
have seen this one...
I don't always have
the strength, sir,
which is why I had to rest
up, take a nap this morning.
That's where you were
this morning, in bed?
Right... but I was thinking!
I was thinking. And as
a matter of fact, boss,
it occurs to me that
you shouldn't be
involved with this,
'cause we're just dealing
with... petty theft is all.
Petty theft?
It happens to...
It happens to add up to $12,000,
in my book, that
is grand larceny!
Right!
Right! Well, that's...
Time to wake up and
tend to business here.
Let me see now. In my area,
by the simple use
of deductive logic,
it would seem to
me that considering
the elements that
we're dealing with here,
television sets,
radios, typewriters,
flashlights, pencil sharpeners,
there's only one
simple conclusion,
and that would be...
juvenile delinquency.
Baretta...
I don't want your
deductive logic.
I want you to get on this thing,
and I want you to
wrap it up... fast!
Or I'm gonna have your... The
best part of me in your soup tonight.
I understand that, boss.
That being the case, I am
going to take to the streets.
And, in order to prove my point,
I am going to return forthwith,
not only with the culprits,
but with one of my
cutest cousins for you...
Baretta!
Out! I'm going,
boss. I'm on my way.
Hey, Tony, when are we
gonna have that chili dog?
Uh... Mimi,
are you one of
Baretta's cousins?
Woman: Yes? Who?
Who is it? Who is
it? Boy: What is it?
I don't know.
It's a color TV.
This is worth a lot of money.
Who left it? I don't
know, maybe it's stolen.
Let's get it inside.
Hurry up. And call the others.
I look you every night.
"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord
my soul to take."
Mom, I was a good boy today.
I helped the poor people,
and they were happy, too.
Tell Jesus about it.
And Robin, too.
Oh, I was a good boy.
10.
20.
30.
40¢ change. 10¢ a paper.
So long, Willy.
Hey, Willy!
Stick 'em up and give
me all your money.
Tony!
All right, go ahead. I'm ready.
Ow! Ow!
Ow! That's enough.
You're hurting me.
I don't want to do it no
more. Come on, one, two!
I ain't doing that.
You'll hurt me. One, two!
No, listen. If I bring a note from
my doctor will you let me out?
All right, wait till I'm
ready, now. One... two!
I'm not ready! Ow!
You broke the socket!
It don't work no more.
You always let me
win. I don't let you win.
You got a customer over there.
Listen, Willy, tonight I
gotta go on the streets
and catch some punks
stealing around here.
Do you want to feed Fred
for me? Sure, I love Fred.
You love everything.
He's lonesome.
You go see him, okay? I will.
I especially love Fred. Yeah.
Listen, don't read him
no dirty books, okay?
You better get your
shoes on the street,
'cause this one's personal.
Somebody doing a
whole lot of ripping off
right around here on the home
front and they're making me look bad.
Well, baby, you know it
makes me look bad, too,
if it's happening
on the home front.
If there's any stealing to
be done on the home front,
it's gonna be yours
truly doing the stealing.
It sounds to me
like you're talking
in my $20 ear since
it's so personal.
Uh-uh, I'm talking right
to your $10 black heart.
I'm telling you
get on the streets
'cause come sun up,
somebody's gonna go to the slams.
And you're starting to
look better all the time.
Smoke that. What
you talking about, man
Baby, don't nobody coop
the Rooster, you know that.
Take me off the street?
My folks won't have it.
We'll tear that place down.
Dude talking about
putting the man in the slam.
Ain't this a trip?
I mean they ain't built
the racks that can hold me.
Backing up the
Rooster. Ain't no way!
You know ain't no way,
baby. Play with that for a while.
Talk to your mama
about that 'cause she'll...
You see, that's Friar Tuck
fighting with Robin Hood
about going over the bridge.
And that's Sherwood Forest
where they all go to hide,
after they do something.
You know, my mom wouldn't
like Tony to be out this late.
Come on.
Let's get some more snacks.
Don't get tense,
now. It's all right.
Well, hello there, mama.
Are you traveling in harness,
or are you single-o?
I'm just passing
through, cowboy.
Just passing through.
Watch my beer for me
'cause I got to tend
to a little business.
Aah.
Then I'll be back to
tend to a little business.
Come here, junkie. Relax,
I just want to hit a few balls.
Why don't you ask your
girlfriend here to take a cab?
Wait for me at the bar.
You're picking 'em bigger
all the time, ain't you?
You know, Candy,
me and you been through
this scene a lot of times.
First I run you down,
and then I shake you down,
and then I ask you
to hit the streets,
and get a little info for me.
Yeah, but like I'm clean
man. I got nothing on me.
Shut up and listen,
'cause you don't
never make no sense.
Come over here.
Now, we're going
to skip the first act
and the second act and
get right down to business.
Somebody's been
messing with my terrain.
They've been stealing
and breaking up things,
and making me very tense.
And I think it may be one
of your folks, understand?
One of your folks
feeling lean and mean.
So what I want you to do now,
is hit the streets,
and find that snowbird for me.
Thanks. Come here!
Don't thank me.
I never met a man
that I didn't like.
But I don't like you.
You better have
something for me, partner,
because I'm tired and bone dry.
Hey, baby, ain't nothing
out there but a black horizon,
a pretty moon, and a
bunch of bright little stars.
Man, you mean to tell
me a bunch of juvie punks
are gonna box me in on
my own turf? I'm gonna quit.
There ain't nothing
out there, man.
Say, dig, man. Look here.
You think this stuff
makes me look too Indian?
You look Indian,
I'm Ryan O'Neal.
Tee hee.
That's okay. You go
ahead and play Pocahontas.
Just remember I'm the rainmaker.
You don't come up with
something pretty soon,
I'm gonna cloud up and
rain all over your skinny soul.
You hear what I'm
saying? Yeah, I hear you.
All right. Talk that
jobie, kimosabe.
You'd give me an
inferiority complex
if I didn't have such a
domineering personality.
Get out of my car, domineering,
and find something for me.
I hear you, paleface.
Always talking that
hootchie kootchie.
"And Friar Tuck
said to Little John,
'Give me your stave,
and I will smote the knave.
And he will smote.
And we will all smote. ""
What you dreaming
about? Hi, Tony.
Hey, looks like you guys
had a little party here, huh?
We had fun.
We waited for you...
then we had snacks, too.
I noticed that. You had 'em all.
I made you a sandwich.
Oh, yeah? Great. I ate it.
Oh... well,
that's all right. I gotta go
on short rations anyway.
The way things are going...
I might need a job at
your stand pretty soon.
I do it, myself.
No, no, I don't mean that. If I
don't find these juvie delinqs that are
bothering the neighborhood,
Shiller's gonna can me.
Then I'll need a little handout.
You good for it?
I'm your best friend.
You know I'd take care of you.
Attaboy! You're better
than unemployment.
You don't gotta stand
in no lines either.
Too bad you ain't a girl.
It's in the morning!
Yeah, I know it's morning.
I got to open up soon, Tony.
My mom never let
me stay out this late.
Get stroking, partner. Come on.
Get that stand open.
Handle the business.
Be careful going home.
And no dirty books.
Well, it's morning already.
No point in
sleeping, right, Fred?
Not when there's
magic in the air.
Give little
"Ceciliarini" a call.
Cecilia, my dove.
'Tis is the Italian prince
come to pay a call.
What? Morning already?
Why, I hadn't noticed.
My goodness, it certainly is.
What the hell? No, no, not you.
Hey, I got to call you
back. I'll see you later.
Okay, dummy, give
us the money! Come on!
Ow! That hurt me, mister.
Get it out!
Where are you going?
He's breaking my arm!
Punk: Wait!
Come on, man!
Willy! Willy, listen... ow!
They were hurting me!
It's okay. You stay here.
All right! Hold it right there!
You want to fight
with a cop? Come on!
Put it down. Put it down!
Get up there and
spread 'em, both of you.
Spread 'em!
Both arms, dummy!
I can't, it's broken.
Get it out here
where I can see it.
What kind of chicken
punks are you anyway?
Trying to beat up a
sweetheart like Willy.
I could even
forgive you for that,
but with all the stealing you've
been doing in the neighborhood,
I'm gonna fry you,
do you hear me?
I've got you now.
I finally got you.
No, no, no, boss.
I'm sure it's them.
Listen, Baretta, don't
tell me what's gotta be!
In this office, we
deal with reality.
Both of them just got out
of juvenile hall two days ago,
and they were in
there for six weeks.
You've still got an
open case. Oh, boy.
All right, I'll get back on
it boss. I'll get back on it.
Listen, what about that
mongrel friend of yours?
Willy? What about him?
I saw that kid's
arm, he mangled it.
There were two guys after him with
a knife. What would you have done?
It doesn't matter
what I would've done.
I'll check with you later,
boss. I'll get back on it.
All right. Goodbye.
Fred: Hello.
Officer, are you
hiding something? No.
Hello. See, I'm a ventriloquist.
You want to hear something else?
Wasn't that good? I
did it while I was smiling.
That's great, right?
Listen, I'm gonna get
a mouthful of water,
I'll show you a trick you
never saw in your life.
Hello.
Say, hello. Hello.
Do the drunken chicken. Hello.
No, do the drunken
chicken. Chicken.
Hey, what's the matter?
Your friend came to see you.
Sit over there. Eat the
rest of his doughnut.
Look at that, he's eating
your doughnut. Look at that.
Come on, Willy,
put 'em up real good.
What's the matter, partner?
What's the matter? I
gotta get out of here.
They want me to stay.
My mom says never to
come to places like this.
So you gotta get me out
of here, you're my friend.
I talked to the doctor.
You're almost fine.
They'll let you out pretty
soon. I gotta go now.
I don't want to stay no
more. I got my stand.
Hold up some fingers.
Two.
Four. Some more, Tony, come on.
Seven! I get all of
'em straight. Right.
So get me out of here.
That ain't exactly
in my department.
We got to do what the
doctor and these people say.
Please, Tony? Please?
It scares me here.
I got my stand. I
got my schedule.
I need my own bed.
And they wouldn't
let me say my prayers.
You see that?
When I say go,
you're gonna go
out through that door,
down the stairs, get in
Tony's car, and wait for me.
You don't talk to nobody
and you don't stop for nothing.
I'll watch out for
varlets and knaves too,
because they got me into here.
Yeah, listen, don't
talk to nobody, okay?
Ready? Go fast.
Come here, nut. Come on.
You, get ahead over there,
and watch out for the varlets
and the knaves and let's go.
Hi, Father.
Bless you, Tony,
for coming so soon.
My pleasure.
If it's about my soul,
maybe we better to wait
for the weekend when we
both got a little more time?
This isn't in my
department, this is in yours.
Oh, terrific. Shoot.
Some things have been
stolen, right off the altar.
One of our chalices,
a candelabrum.
And that's all?
That's it. A chalise
and a candelabra?
Oh, boy.
What kind of nuts am
I dealing with here?
They risk their lives
to break into a place
and they only steal a couple
of things and they leave.
I got the same MO going
on all over the parish
and I can't get a handle on it.
You don't know
anybody in the church
you could put the
finger on, Father?
In the church?
I already checked on all the
bad guys, maybe it's a good guy.
TV Announcer: "The
Adventures of Robin Hood"
And so we continue
our month-long tribute
to the many versions of
the story of Robin Hood.
We've presented
the classic versions
with Douglas Fairbanks
and Errol Flynn.
Tonight, the 1946
version with Cornel Wilde:
"The Bandit of Sherwood Forest."
Tony! Hi, Father.
When I phoned Billy, I didn't
realize you'd be here so soon.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Robbing the poor box.
Same way, too.
You take some
and you leave some.
It's the same MO.
Just like the chalice
and the candelabrum.
You figured that out, huh?
Maybe you can teach
me a little of your racket.
We ain't found no
fingerprints so far,
so I don't guess it's gonna
do any good to dust this thing.
Wait a minute.
That ain't a coin.
What's that? That, Father...
that's either luck or fate...
or it's one of
your folks at work.
Hey! Pretty boy.
Tony!
My mom always says, "Get at
the dirt where you can't see it."
Yeah.
One, two, get 'em up.
Wait a minute. Hold
it! Look over here.
My button. You lost your button.
My mom used to sew 'em up but
now Mrs. Bradley down the hall does it.
One, two! Come
on, let's go inside.
You're acting funny.
You know that, Tony.
I haven't done nothing bad.
I didn't say you
done nothing bad.
We're friends, ain't we? What
are we standing in the hall for?
Everything in perfect shape.
Beautiful.
I remember your mother
always used to say,
"Everything in its place
and a place for everything."
I keep it nice, don't I?
Yeah, yeah sure.
Hey... honey boy,
you wouldn't never...
Steal something...
Or do something like
that would you, Willy?
I mean, when we was kids,
we did a lot of stealing
and messing around,
but it's different now.
You know I'm a cop
and if you stole something
I'd have to come after you.
Do you know how you lost that?
Huh?
Do you give money in
the church on Sunday?
In the poor box?
Yeah, my mom says to give
50¢ on Friday, and a dollar
in the collection on Sunday.
A buck on Sunday, huh?
That's where you lost it.
Isn't it nice and neat in here?
It's perfect. I do a
good job by myself.
Sure. My mom says to
keep it neat and clean.
It's neat enough.
Plenty neat enough.
I'd trade places
with you anytime.
If you threw in Fred too.
Hey, throw in Fred.
That's my bosom buddy.
When we was in the Merchants,
Fred used to go into bars when
I was drunk. He'd take me out,
walk me up and down
so I wouldn't go to jail.
He used to take
them pretty girls
right up the gangplank,
put 'em in my bunk.
He's my bosom buddy. I gotta go.
Hey, me and Fred. He
is your bosom buddy.
So are you. I'll see you later.
Boy, Robin, I'm in a pickle.
Gee, Robin, I don't know.
Baretta's voice: Honey boy, you
wouldn't never steal something,
or do something like
that would you, Willy?
I'm a good boy, Tony.
Hold it! Hey,
stop or I'll shoot!
What's going on?
The Sheriff of Nottingham!
Hey, Janet, what's the matter?
Oh, no. George, George!
Hey, somebody help us!
George! It's okay, baby.
It's okay, it's okay.
Come on, some help! Somebody!
George, get that
gun away from me!
I couldn't help it! I come down
steps It's about time, man...
Shut up a minute!
Stop it both of you!
I'm a police officer.
Let me just look at it.
I'm not going to touch it.
You're gonna be all
right, I promise you.
Just let me touch
it, here. Just relax.
She gonna be all
right? I think so.
Put the pressure on.
It's gonna hurt a little bit.
It's okay. It's okay.
Let up on it for a couple
seconds every minute.
Hang on there.
Now, tell me what happened here.
I come running down
the steps No, no, no.
And all of a sudden this
dude goes running by.
This guy started running,
I had to shoot at him.
Shut up!
I couldn't help it. It
happens to everybody.
It happens to everybody.
It's all right, man.
Just go cool out. It
happens to everybody.
George: It's gonna
be all right, honey.
What'd this guy look
like? The guy that went by?
Yeah.
He was about your height.
Except much heavier.
Let me think.
He's got curly hair. Curly hair.
Except he was bald on the top.
And he was wearing
this old ratty army jacket.
He was a crazy dude, man.
Why do you say he was crazy?
He was crazy, man. He
started saying something about
the Sheriff of Nottingham
trying to kill him.
Or something like that.
I don't know. Oh, Willy.
Oh, Willy.
What've you got? Hello, Tony.
I've been looking everywhere
and all I found was
other people looking.
Oh man, me too.
I know he didn't leave this
city. He gotta be someplace.
Come on, you old bloodhound.
Come up with something.
Get your sniffer
working. I'm dry.
We've looked in all
the obvious places,
but I just had a thought.
What about when you
and Willy were kids?
Well, he was the moose
and I was the mouse.
He used to pick
me up like a rag doll.
But where did you go and
play? Any special place?
We played all over
this city. Everywhere.
But wasn't there any one
place you'd go and hide.
There was a lot of
places where we hid.
But when we were in trouble
we used to play
"Run Chief, Run,"
and we'd run to the junkyard
and he'd throw me over the fence
and he'd come in after me
and then we'd go in the junk
and nobody could find us. That's
where he is, Billy. That's where he is.
Hey, Willy!
Run, chief, run!
Here I come.
Apples!
N-nice dog. Hey-ho.
Whoa, nice dog, now. Here now.
Uh...
Apples!
Peaches!
Come on, Willy!
You ain't playing fair!
I say... run, chief, run!
Willy: Run, chief, run.
You know I'm gonna find you.
I'm the ace king
Run-chief-runner of the world
Apples!
Apple. Willy: Apple.
You dirty rat.
I'm out there running
all over looking for you.
You don't tell me
which way you are.
No apples, no peaches,
no bananas, nothing.
You wasn't playing fair.
Willy: You don't
like me anymore!
You think I've been bad!
Baretta: Who said that?
You was just being
Robin Hood, right? Yeah.
Robin Hood wasn't bad.
He just lived a long time ago
in another country, that's all.
You don't like me
anymore stealing.
Nah, I ain't mad at you.
You stole from the
rich to give to the poor.
That ain't a bad idea.
Come on. Come on out with me.
We'll go tell them
all about it. We'll fix it.
I'm not bad!
I didn't say you
was bad, partner.
It's just that in this
country, today...
You can't steal from the
rich and give to the poor.
Why?
On account of that's
the government's job.
That's their job. You don't
want to take their job away?
You don't want nobody to take
your job away from you, Willy.
You don't want 'em to take
your stand away from you.
No, Tony, no one's
taking my stand!
Oh, no, honey boy.
I didn't say nobody's
gonna take your stand.
Come on with me.
We're gonna fix it.
Come on.
Come on.
Are you my best friend again?
I'm your best friend forever.
Run, chief, run!
Come on.
Do you love me?
I love you, partner.
I love you more
than I love Fred.
I'm just trying to figure out
which of you is more
trouble, that's all.
Come on, man.
Come on!
Come on!
Hey, how did you
get past that nut dog?
Oh, you locked it up? He
was gonna eat me, sure I did.
I'll bring some water. You
don't need no water for the dog.
Come on, we're gonna go.
Hey, last one over the
fence is a toad in the pants.
I'm going! I'm going!
Hit it, Willy!
Attaboy!
All right, hold it right there.
It's okay, relax.
I'm Tony Baretta, Detective.
I'm bringing in a prisoner.
Do you recognize
me? Here's my badge.
Willy: Tony, I'm afraid of him.
I don't want to play prisoner.
It's okay. See?
There's an APB out
on him, he's dangerous.
I know all about it.
I'm bringing him in.
I got it under
control. Just relax.
You can't handle him
alone. I can handle him!
What are you tensing up
for? Put those things away.
He's my prisoner. Here,
look what I'm doing.
We're gonna play
a little game now.
It's called the prisoner game.
You know, like the
comic books you read.
We're gonna be actors.
You act like a prisoner.
I don't like this game.
See what I'm doing here?
It's okay, I got the clinks on
him. Okay, Baretta, bring him over.
Hey, wait a minute, Willy.
Let's go talk to 'em for a minute.
See? Hold it. You
tricked me, Tony!
I didn't trick you. Hold on,
I'm your friend. I didn't tr...
We're good friends.
We've been friends forever.
Did I ever let you down?
Need help? No,
I don't need help.
Hold it, Willy!
Halt! Damn it, Willy!
No! Get back...
I love you. Don't
you believe me, man?
I've loved you all my life.
We've been good friends.
Do you hear me? Oh, Lordy!
Come here, Willy!
I love you, pal. I ain't
gonna let you down.
No matter where they take
you, no matter what happens,
I'm gonna be with
you, do you hear me?
I'll stay with you. I
promise with all my heart.
I'm gonna be with you.
Do you hear me, man?
I promise you.
Can I go home?
I'll figure it out.
Someway, I'll make it
so you can go home.
Cross your heart?
I cross my heart
and hope to die.
Did I hurt you, Tony?
No you didn't hurt me.
Hey, hey, come on, sweet pea.
Let's go, okay?
Can I ride in the front seat?
You can ride in the
front seat with me.
And make the sirene go.
I promise you, it'll be the
best sirene you ever heard.
Come on.
Tony, you up?
I am now, honey boy.
Come on, I told you I'm gonna
stay here all night with you.
Go on to sleep now. Go on.
I'm going home tomorrow?
Yeah, we're gonna explain
everything to the judge,
then you're gonna go home.
Come on now, sweet
pea, go to sleep.
You know I need my own bed?
Excuse me, Mr. Rico.
Explain to me what
happened in there, will you?
Look, we have to
talk to the judge first.
Then he'll announce
his decision in court.
Willy's off the hook? You
got him off? It's all right?
Baretta, the psychiatrist
says Willy has a problem
determining
reality from fantasy.
Wait... you guys are
selling him down the river?
He don't have no problem with
reality. I've known him all my life.
He knows what's going on. Tony.
Hey, Willy boy. How's it
going? Am I going home now?
Yeah, well... pretty soon.
We're gonna work it out.
We're gonna fix it,
ain't we, Mr. Rico?
All right, gentlemen,
I'll see you now.
Excuse me, sir... Your Honor,
my name is Tony Baretta
and I'm the arresting officer.
I'm also a friend of Willy's
and I'd like to come
in if I could, please.
All right, we shouldn't be long.
It's okay.
There seems to be
complete agreement
on the part of the
prosecution and defense.
Since most of the stolen
goods have been returned,
it would seem to
be a simple case.
Is that correct, gentlemen?
All: Yes, Your Honor.
Then we can move right along.
We feel, Willy,
that it would be in
your best interests
if you were held for
observation and therapy
for an undetermined time...
Subject to the review
of this court, of course.
That's the psychiatrist's
recommendation too.
No, Tony says I'm going home.
Your Honor, you can't put Willy
away in one of them kind of places.
I'm going home,
Tony, you promised.
Right... sir, you can't put
Willy in some observation...
Are you attempting to tell this
court what it can and cannot do?
No, sir, Your Honor.
I'm just telling you that's
the wrong thing to do to Willy.
This session in
chambers is at an end.
Gentlemen, we can return to
the court. Hold on just a second.
Officer Baretta, I can have
you held in contempt. Bailiff!
No, no, I know. I'm sorry.
I won't get out of line.
Just give me two minutes of
your time, Your Honor, please.
Just two minutes?
We're talking about a
whole human being here, sir.
Your Honor, you can't put...
Willy away for observation.
If you do, I'll tell you what
you're gonna observe,
and it ain't any
recommendations.
You're gonna see
a sweet, gentle guy
go crazy and die.
You can't put him in
one of them places, sir.
He needs to be in his own place,
where there are
people that love him.
It's not a matter of
playing Robin Hood.
Every child does that.
This man has injured someone,
no matter for what cause.
You yourself were injured.
They were after
him with a knife, sir.
They hurt him bad, and even then
he just grabbed the
knife hand and held it.
Willy's a first offender, sir,
with extenuating circumstances.
I know the law.
All I want you to do
is treat him like
a first offender.
He has the mind
of an eight-year-old.
Treat him like an eight... you don't put
an eight-year-old away for a first offense.
He isn't eight! Look at him.
He's a lot sweeter than a
lot of eight-year-olds I know.
Willy never hurt anybody
in his whole life, Your Honor.
All the time we were kids
he never hurt anybody.
When he grew up, his mother
died, he had to take care of himself.
He's never hurt anybody
in his whole life. Never.
You can't just throw
away a whole life
of being kind and
gentle on account of a...
A couple of seconds
of self-defense.
I know people that would
come through that door,
a hundred of them, I
promise you, a hundred,
that would tell you how much
they loved Willy if you asked them.
Still, someone has
got to be responsible.
I'll be responsible.
I'll be responsible, Your Honor.
The State doesn't have
to take responsibility. I will.
I'll do it.
There was I time when I
thought... I'm sorry, Willy, it's true.
When we was growing up,
there was a time, honey boy,
when I thought it'd be better if
they put you away in the country.
I thought that'd be
the best thing for you.
But I wasn't thinking of
what was best for him.
He ain't a... a... a
threat to society.
He's a part of
society. Like... like...
He's a part of us and
we're a part of him.
He makes a
contribution, Your Honor.
He took a bunch of
wood and boards...
and junk and he put it
together and he made one
of the best newsstands
you ever saw.
And he plunked it right
down in the middle of this city
and he made it work! He was a
success where other people failed.
He's clean and
neat and organized.
He takes good care of himself.
Everybody likes him, and...
his apartment where he lives,
it's a hell of a lot
cleaner than mine
if I cleaned mine for a year!
For the love of God, Your Honor,
I say that with all reverence,
what does Willy have to do?
What does he have to
do before he's a person?
What does he have to do before he
gets the same rights as you and me?
You and me, with
our perfect brains,
that we could go out and
live for a whole lifetime
and we would never have
half of the goodness Willy has.
And how many people, Your Honor,
I'm asking you from your heart,
how many people would
come through that door
and say that they loved us?
Willy's like a bird.
Like a free bird,
just flying around in
his own time and place,
but if you try to
put him in a cage,
he's gonna bang
up against that cage
and bang up against it, and
he's gonna die, Your Honor.
That's what's going
to happen to Willy.
You take him away from us,
and you're going to kill him.
And if he dies,
we're all going
to die a little bit.
Please save him,
Your Honor, please,
save all of us.
If I knew it was going to be
your apartment and chili dogs,
I would've have dressed
a little more appropriate.
Have patience, my dove.
This humble chili dog
represents the first act
in what will be the great
Italian drama of your life.
And the second act?
Hey, Tony! Tony!
Alice the crazy lady is
cooking some chicken soup.
She'll be up in a few
minutes. A few minutes?!
Maybe your cousin
would like some. No, no!
Have you been related long? Put
the soup where the sun never shines.
I don't want any chicken soup.
Willy: Chili dogs! What
are you doing here?
What is this? A present.
For me? Fred.
Here, go give Fred his present.
Come on, Willy! Attaboy!
Willy, that present didn't come
from Sherwood Forest did it?
Hard cash, Tony.
Attaboy! Willy,
how would you like
a nice big bowl of chicken soup?
Hello.
To go with the chili dogs?
Yeah... no, I mean downstairs!
Alice! Hurry up with
that chicken soup
and the kreplachs.
We're having a party!
We're not having any kreplachs!
Alice! I don't
want any chicken...
Honey, if you ever
have a family reunion,
he'll have to hire Chicago.
Terrific.
all of them in your territory,
and you don't know
anything about it!
Hold it! Hold it right there!
We checked on the bad
guys, maybe it's a good guy.
Get back! Willy, I love you!
Then you're my friend?
You get me out of here.
Please save him,
Your Honor. Please.
Goodbye, Gypsy.
Shiller: Another one here.
Here, here, here!
And there, and there, right?
Am I keeping you awake, Baretta?
No, sir. No, not at all.
26 burglaries in 13 days,
and all of them
in your territory,
and you don't know
anything about it.
I thought you were keeping
your ear to the ground, Baretta?
My ear ain't been
working too good lately.
What?
That's why I
thought I might just...
I took the weekend off
on account of my concentration
was just going bejork.
So, when my cousin, uh...
Came in town from... I
thought it was a good idea...
Another of the
cousins, eh, Baretta?
Yes, the Baretta family
has been said to be so large
that hand in hand, they could do
a water ballet around
the island of Capri.
Tell me, Baretta,
where do you...
where do you find the
strength for all these cousins?
Oh, you should
have seen this one...
I don't always have
the strength, sir,
which is why I had to rest
up, take a nap this morning.
That's where you were
this morning, in bed?
Right... but I was thinking!
I was thinking. And as
a matter of fact, boss,
it occurs to me that
you shouldn't be
involved with this,
'cause we're just dealing
with... petty theft is all.
Petty theft?
It happens to...
It happens to add up to $12,000,
in my book, that
is grand larceny!
Right!
Right! Well, that's...
Time to wake up and
tend to business here.
Let me see now. In my area,
by the simple use
of deductive logic,
it would seem to
me that considering
the elements that
we're dealing with here,
television sets,
radios, typewriters,
flashlights, pencil sharpeners,
there's only one
simple conclusion,
and that would be...
juvenile delinquency.
Baretta...
I don't want your
deductive logic.
I want you to get on this thing,
and I want you to
wrap it up... fast!
Or I'm gonna have your... The
best part of me in your soup tonight.
I understand that, boss.
That being the case, I am
going to take to the streets.
And, in order to prove my point,
I am going to return forthwith,
not only with the culprits,
but with one of my
cutest cousins for you...
Baretta!
Out! I'm going,
boss. I'm on my way.
Hey, Tony, when are we
gonna have that chili dog?
Uh... Mimi,
are you one of
Baretta's cousins?
Woman: Yes? Who?
Who is it? Who is
it? Boy: What is it?
I don't know.
It's a color TV.
This is worth a lot of money.
Who left it? I don't
know, maybe it's stolen.
Let's get it inside.
Hurry up. And call the others.
I look you every night.
"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord
my soul to take."
Mom, I was a good boy today.
I helped the poor people,
and they were happy, too.
Tell Jesus about it.
And Robin, too.
Oh, I was a good boy.
10.
20.
30.
40¢ change. 10¢ a paper.
So long, Willy.
Hey, Willy!
Stick 'em up and give
me all your money.
Tony!
All right, go ahead. I'm ready.
Ow! Ow!
Ow! That's enough.
You're hurting me.
I don't want to do it no
more. Come on, one, two!
I ain't doing that.
You'll hurt me. One, two!
No, listen. If I bring a note from
my doctor will you let me out?
All right, wait till I'm
ready, now. One... two!
I'm not ready! Ow!
You broke the socket!
It don't work no more.
You always let me
win. I don't let you win.
You got a customer over there.
Listen, Willy, tonight I
gotta go on the streets
and catch some punks
stealing around here.
Do you want to feed Fred
for me? Sure, I love Fred.
You love everything.
He's lonesome.
You go see him, okay? I will.
I especially love Fred. Yeah.
Listen, don't read him
no dirty books, okay?
You better get your
shoes on the street,
'cause this one's personal.
Somebody doing a
whole lot of ripping off
right around here on the home
front and they're making me look bad.
Well, baby, you know it
makes me look bad, too,
if it's happening
on the home front.
If there's any stealing to
be done on the home front,
it's gonna be yours
truly doing the stealing.
It sounds to me
like you're talking
in my $20 ear since
it's so personal.
Uh-uh, I'm talking right
to your $10 black heart.
I'm telling you
get on the streets
'cause come sun up,
somebody's gonna go to the slams.
And you're starting to
look better all the time.
Smoke that. What
you talking about, man
Baby, don't nobody coop
the Rooster, you know that.
Take me off the street?
My folks won't have it.
We'll tear that place down.
Dude talking about
putting the man in the slam.
Ain't this a trip?
I mean they ain't built
the racks that can hold me.
Backing up the
Rooster. Ain't no way!
You know ain't no way,
baby. Play with that for a while.
Talk to your mama
about that 'cause she'll...
You see, that's Friar Tuck
fighting with Robin Hood
about going over the bridge.
And that's Sherwood Forest
where they all go to hide,
after they do something.
You know, my mom wouldn't
like Tony to be out this late.
Come on.
Let's get some more snacks.
Don't get tense,
now. It's all right.
Well, hello there, mama.
Are you traveling in harness,
or are you single-o?
I'm just passing
through, cowboy.
Just passing through.
Watch my beer for me
'cause I got to tend
to a little business.
Aah.
Then I'll be back to
tend to a little business.
Come here, junkie. Relax,
I just want to hit a few balls.
Why don't you ask your
girlfriend here to take a cab?
Wait for me at the bar.
You're picking 'em bigger
all the time, ain't you?
You know, Candy,
me and you been through
this scene a lot of times.
First I run you down,
and then I shake you down,
and then I ask you
to hit the streets,
and get a little info for me.
Yeah, but like I'm clean
man. I got nothing on me.
Shut up and listen,
'cause you don't
never make no sense.
Come over here.
Now, we're going
to skip the first act
and the second act and
get right down to business.
Somebody's been
messing with my terrain.
They've been stealing
and breaking up things,
and making me very tense.
And I think it may be one
of your folks, understand?
One of your folks
feeling lean and mean.
So what I want you to do now,
is hit the streets,
and find that snowbird for me.
Thanks. Come here!
Don't thank me.
I never met a man
that I didn't like.
But I don't like you.
You better have
something for me, partner,
because I'm tired and bone dry.
Hey, baby, ain't nothing
out there but a black horizon,
a pretty moon, and a
bunch of bright little stars.
Man, you mean to tell
me a bunch of juvie punks
are gonna box me in on
my own turf? I'm gonna quit.
There ain't nothing
out there, man.
Say, dig, man. Look here.
You think this stuff
makes me look too Indian?
You look Indian,
I'm Ryan O'Neal.
Tee hee.
That's okay. You go
ahead and play Pocahontas.
Just remember I'm the rainmaker.
You don't come up with
something pretty soon,
I'm gonna cloud up and
rain all over your skinny soul.
You hear what I'm
saying? Yeah, I hear you.
All right. Talk that
jobie, kimosabe.
You'd give me an
inferiority complex
if I didn't have such a
domineering personality.
Get out of my car, domineering,
and find something for me.
I hear you, paleface.
Always talking that
hootchie kootchie.
"And Friar Tuck
said to Little John,
'Give me your stave,
and I will smote the knave.
And he will smote.
And we will all smote. ""
What you dreaming
about? Hi, Tony.
Hey, looks like you guys
had a little party here, huh?
We had fun.
We waited for you...
then we had snacks, too.
I noticed that. You had 'em all.
I made you a sandwich.
Oh, yeah? Great. I ate it.
Oh... well,
that's all right. I gotta go
on short rations anyway.
The way things are going...
I might need a job at
your stand pretty soon.
I do it, myself.
No, no, I don't mean that. If I
don't find these juvie delinqs that are
bothering the neighborhood,
Shiller's gonna can me.
Then I'll need a little handout.
You good for it?
I'm your best friend.
You know I'd take care of you.
Attaboy! You're better
than unemployment.
You don't gotta stand
in no lines either.
Too bad you ain't a girl.
It's in the morning!
Yeah, I know it's morning.
I got to open up soon, Tony.
My mom never let
me stay out this late.
Get stroking, partner. Come on.
Get that stand open.
Handle the business.
Be careful going home.
And no dirty books.
Well, it's morning already.
No point in
sleeping, right, Fred?
Not when there's
magic in the air.
Give little
"Ceciliarini" a call.
Cecilia, my dove.
'Tis is the Italian prince
come to pay a call.
What? Morning already?
Why, I hadn't noticed.
My goodness, it certainly is.
What the hell? No, no, not you.
Hey, I got to call you
back. I'll see you later.
Okay, dummy, give
us the money! Come on!
Ow! That hurt me, mister.
Get it out!
Where are you going?
He's breaking my arm!
Punk: Wait!
Come on, man!
Willy! Willy, listen... ow!
They were hurting me!
It's okay. You stay here.
All right! Hold it right there!
You want to fight
with a cop? Come on!
Put it down. Put it down!
Get up there and
spread 'em, both of you.
Spread 'em!
Both arms, dummy!
I can't, it's broken.
Get it out here
where I can see it.
What kind of chicken
punks are you anyway?
Trying to beat up a
sweetheart like Willy.
I could even
forgive you for that,
but with all the stealing you've
been doing in the neighborhood,
I'm gonna fry you,
do you hear me?
I've got you now.
I finally got you.
No, no, no, boss.
I'm sure it's them.
Listen, Baretta, don't
tell me what's gotta be!
In this office, we
deal with reality.
Both of them just got out
of juvenile hall two days ago,
and they were in
there for six weeks.
You've still got an
open case. Oh, boy.
All right, I'll get back on
it boss. I'll get back on it.
Listen, what about that
mongrel friend of yours?
Willy? What about him?
I saw that kid's
arm, he mangled it.
There were two guys after him with
a knife. What would you have done?
It doesn't matter
what I would've done.
I'll check with you later,
boss. I'll get back on it.
All right. Goodbye.
Fred: Hello.
Officer, are you
hiding something? No.
Hello. See, I'm a ventriloquist.
You want to hear something else?
Wasn't that good? I
did it while I was smiling.
That's great, right?
Listen, I'm gonna get
a mouthful of water,
I'll show you a trick you
never saw in your life.
Hello.
Say, hello. Hello.
Do the drunken chicken. Hello.
No, do the drunken
chicken. Chicken.
Hey, what's the matter?
Your friend came to see you.
Sit over there. Eat the
rest of his doughnut.
Look at that, he's eating
your doughnut. Look at that.
Come on, Willy,
put 'em up real good.
What's the matter, partner?
What's the matter? I
gotta get out of here.
They want me to stay.
My mom says never to
come to places like this.
So you gotta get me out
of here, you're my friend.
I talked to the doctor.
You're almost fine.
They'll let you out pretty
soon. I gotta go now.
I don't want to stay no
more. I got my stand.
Hold up some fingers.
Two.
Four. Some more, Tony, come on.
Seven! I get all of
'em straight. Right.
So get me out of here.
That ain't exactly
in my department.
We got to do what the
doctor and these people say.
Please, Tony? Please?
It scares me here.
I got my stand. I
got my schedule.
I need my own bed.
And they wouldn't
let me say my prayers.
You see that?
When I say go,
you're gonna go
out through that door,
down the stairs, get in
Tony's car, and wait for me.
You don't talk to nobody
and you don't stop for nothing.
I'll watch out for
varlets and knaves too,
because they got me into here.
Yeah, listen, don't
talk to nobody, okay?
Ready? Go fast.
Come here, nut. Come on.
You, get ahead over there,
and watch out for the varlets
and the knaves and let's go.
Hi, Father.
Bless you, Tony,
for coming so soon.
My pleasure.
If it's about my soul,
maybe we better to wait
for the weekend when we
both got a little more time?
This isn't in my
department, this is in yours.
Oh, terrific. Shoot.
Some things have been
stolen, right off the altar.
One of our chalices,
a candelabrum.
And that's all?
That's it. A chalise
and a candelabra?
Oh, boy.
What kind of nuts am
I dealing with here?
They risk their lives
to break into a place
and they only steal a couple
of things and they leave.
I got the same MO going
on all over the parish
and I can't get a handle on it.
You don't know
anybody in the church
you could put the
finger on, Father?
In the church?
I already checked on all the
bad guys, maybe it's a good guy.
TV Announcer: "The
Adventures of Robin Hood"
And so we continue
our month-long tribute
to the many versions of
the story of Robin Hood.
We've presented
the classic versions
with Douglas Fairbanks
and Errol Flynn.
Tonight, the 1946
version with Cornel Wilde:
"The Bandit of Sherwood Forest."
Tony! Hi, Father.
When I phoned Billy, I didn't
realize you'd be here so soon.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Robbing the poor box.
Same way, too.
You take some
and you leave some.
It's the same MO.
Just like the chalice
and the candelabrum.
You figured that out, huh?
Maybe you can teach
me a little of your racket.
We ain't found no
fingerprints so far,
so I don't guess it's gonna
do any good to dust this thing.
Wait a minute.
That ain't a coin.
What's that? That, Father...
that's either luck or fate...
or it's one of
your folks at work.
Hey! Pretty boy.
Tony!
My mom always says, "Get at
the dirt where you can't see it."
Yeah.
One, two, get 'em up.
Wait a minute. Hold
it! Look over here.
My button. You lost your button.
My mom used to sew 'em up but
now Mrs. Bradley down the hall does it.
One, two! Come
on, let's go inside.
You're acting funny.
You know that, Tony.
I haven't done nothing bad.
I didn't say you
done nothing bad.
We're friends, ain't we? What
are we standing in the hall for?
Everything in perfect shape.
Beautiful.
I remember your mother
always used to say,
"Everything in its place
and a place for everything."
I keep it nice, don't I?
Yeah, yeah sure.
Hey... honey boy,
you wouldn't never...
Steal something...
Or do something like
that would you, Willy?
I mean, when we was kids,
we did a lot of stealing
and messing around,
but it's different now.
You know I'm a cop
and if you stole something
I'd have to come after you.
Do you know how you lost that?
Huh?
Do you give money in
the church on Sunday?
In the poor box?
Yeah, my mom says to give
50¢ on Friday, and a dollar
in the collection on Sunday.
A buck on Sunday, huh?
That's where you lost it.
Isn't it nice and neat in here?
It's perfect. I do a
good job by myself.
Sure. My mom says to
keep it neat and clean.
It's neat enough.
Plenty neat enough.
I'd trade places
with you anytime.
If you threw in Fred too.
Hey, throw in Fred.
That's my bosom buddy.
When we was in the Merchants,
Fred used to go into bars when
I was drunk. He'd take me out,
walk me up and down
so I wouldn't go to jail.
He used to take
them pretty girls
right up the gangplank,
put 'em in my bunk.
He's my bosom buddy. I gotta go.
Hey, me and Fred. He
is your bosom buddy.
So are you. I'll see you later.
Boy, Robin, I'm in a pickle.
Gee, Robin, I don't know.
Baretta's voice: Honey boy, you
wouldn't never steal something,
or do something like
that would you, Willy?
I'm a good boy, Tony.
Hold it! Hey,
stop or I'll shoot!
What's going on?
The Sheriff of Nottingham!
Hey, Janet, what's the matter?
Oh, no. George, George!
Hey, somebody help us!
George! It's okay, baby.
It's okay, it's okay.
Come on, some help! Somebody!
George, get that
gun away from me!
I couldn't help it! I come down
steps It's about time, man...
Shut up a minute!
Stop it both of you!
I'm a police officer.
Let me just look at it.
I'm not going to touch it.
You're gonna be all
right, I promise you.
Just let me touch
it, here. Just relax.
She gonna be all
right? I think so.
Put the pressure on.
It's gonna hurt a little bit.
It's okay. It's okay.
Let up on it for a couple
seconds every minute.
Hang on there.
Now, tell me what happened here.
I come running down
the steps No, no, no.
And all of a sudden this
dude goes running by.
This guy started running,
I had to shoot at him.
Shut up!
I couldn't help it. It
happens to everybody.
It happens to everybody.
It's all right, man.
Just go cool out. It
happens to everybody.
George: It's gonna
be all right, honey.
What'd this guy look
like? The guy that went by?
Yeah.
He was about your height.
Except much heavier.
Let me think.
He's got curly hair. Curly hair.
Except he was bald on the top.
And he was wearing
this old ratty army jacket.
He was a crazy dude, man.
Why do you say he was crazy?
He was crazy, man. He
started saying something about
the Sheriff of Nottingham
trying to kill him.
Or something like that.
I don't know. Oh, Willy.
Oh, Willy.
What've you got? Hello, Tony.
I've been looking everywhere
and all I found was
other people looking.
Oh man, me too.
I know he didn't leave this
city. He gotta be someplace.
Come on, you old bloodhound.
Come up with something.
Get your sniffer
working. I'm dry.
We've looked in all
the obvious places,
but I just had a thought.
What about when you
and Willy were kids?
Well, he was the moose
and I was the mouse.
He used to pick
me up like a rag doll.
But where did you go and
play? Any special place?
We played all over
this city. Everywhere.
But wasn't there any one
place you'd go and hide.
There was a lot of
places where we hid.
But when we were in trouble
we used to play
"Run Chief, Run,"
and we'd run to the junkyard
and he'd throw me over the fence
and he'd come in after me
and then we'd go in the junk
and nobody could find us. That's
where he is, Billy. That's where he is.
Hey, Willy!
Run, chief, run!
Here I come.
Apples!
N-nice dog. Hey-ho.
Whoa, nice dog, now. Here now.
Uh...
Apples!
Peaches!
Come on, Willy!
You ain't playing fair!
I say... run, chief, run!
Willy: Run, chief, run.
You know I'm gonna find you.
I'm the ace king
Run-chief-runner of the world
Apples!
Apple. Willy: Apple.
You dirty rat.
I'm out there running
all over looking for you.
You don't tell me
which way you are.
No apples, no peaches,
no bananas, nothing.
You wasn't playing fair.
Willy: You don't
like me anymore!
You think I've been bad!
Baretta: Who said that?
You was just being
Robin Hood, right? Yeah.
Robin Hood wasn't bad.
He just lived a long time ago
in another country, that's all.
You don't like me
anymore stealing.
Nah, I ain't mad at you.
You stole from the
rich to give to the poor.
That ain't a bad idea.
Come on. Come on out with me.
We'll go tell them
all about it. We'll fix it.
I'm not bad!
I didn't say you
was bad, partner.
It's just that in this
country, today...
You can't steal from the
rich and give to the poor.
Why?
On account of that's
the government's job.
That's their job. You don't
want to take their job away?
You don't want nobody to take
your job away from you, Willy.
You don't want 'em to take
your stand away from you.
No, Tony, no one's
taking my stand!
Oh, no, honey boy.
I didn't say nobody's
gonna take your stand.
Come on with me.
We're gonna fix it.
Come on.
Come on.
Are you my best friend again?
I'm your best friend forever.
Run, chief, run!
Come on.
Do you love me?
I love you, partner.
I love you more
than I love Fred.
I'm just trying to figure out
which of you is more
trouble, that's all.
Come on, man.
Come on!
Come on!
Hey, how did you
get past that nut dog?
Oh, you locked it up? He
was gonna eat me, sure I did.
I'll bring some water. You
don't need no water for the dog.
Come on, we're gonna go.
Hey, last one over the
fence is a toad in the pants.
I'm going! I'm going!
Hit it, Willy!
Attaboy!
All right, hold it right there.
It's okay, relax.
I'm Tony Baretta, Detective.
I'm bringing in a prisoner.
Do you recognize
me? Here's my badge.
Willy: Tony, I'm afraid of him.
I don't want to play prisoner.
It's okay. See?
There's an APB out
on him, he's dangerous.
I know all about it.
I'm bringing him in.
I got it under
control. Just relax.
You can't handle him
alone. I can handle him!
What are you tensing up
for? Put those things away.
He's my prisoner. Here,
look what I'm doing.
We're gonna play
a little game now.
It's called the prisoner game.
You know, like the
comic books you read.
We're gonna be actors.
You act like a prisoner.
I don't like this game.
See what I'm doing here?
It's okay, I got the clinks on
him. Okay, Baretta, bring him over.
Hey, wait a minute, Willy.
Let's go talk to 'em for a minute.
See? Hold it. You
tricked me, Tony!
I didn't trick you. Hold on,
I'm your friend. I didn't tr...
We're good friends.
We've been friends forever.
Did I ever let you down?
Need help? No,
I don't need help.
Hold it, Willy!
Halt! Damn it, Willy!
No! Get back...
I love you. Don't
you believe me, man?
I've loved you all my life.
We've been good friends.
Do you hear me? Oh, Lordy!
Come here, Willy!
I love you, pal. I ain't
gonna let you down.
No matter where they take
you, no matter what happens,
I'm gonna be with
you, do you hear me?
I'll stay with you. I
promise with all my heart.
I'm gonna be with you.
Do you hear me, man?
I promise you.
Can I go home?
I'll figure it out.
Someway, I'll make it
so you can go home.
Cross your heart?
I cross my heart
and hope to die.
Did I hurt you, Tony?
No you didn't hurt me.
Hey, hey, come on, sweet pea.
Let's go, okay?
Can I ride in the front seat?
You can ride in the
front seat with me.
And make the sirene go.
I promise you, it'll be the
best sirene you ever heard.
Come on.
Tony, you up?
I am now, honey boy.
Come on, I told you I'm gonna
stay here all night with you.
Go on to sleep now. Go on.
I'm going home tomorrow?
Yeah, we're gonna explain
everything to the judge,
then you're gonna go home.
Come on now, sweet
pea, go to sleep.
You know I need my own bed?
Excuse me, Mr. Rico.
Explain to me what
happened in there, will you?
Look, we have to
talk to the judge first.
Then he'll announce
his decision in court.
Willy's off the hook? You
got him off? It's all right?
Baretta, the psychiatrist
says Willy has a problem
determining
reality from fantasy.
Wait... you guys are
selling him down the river?
He don't have no problem with
reality. I've known him all my life.
He knows what's going on. Tony.
Hey, Willy boy. How's it
going? Am I going home now?
Yeah, well... pretty soon.
We're gonna work it out.
We're gonna fix it,
ain't we, Mr. Rico?
All right, gentlemen,
I'll see you now.
Excuse me, sir... Your Honor,
my name is Tony Baretta
and I'm the arresting officer.
I'm also a friend of Willy's
and I'd like to come
in if I could, please.
All right, we shouldn't be long.
It's okay.
There seems to be
complete agreement
on the part of the
prosecution and defense.
Since most of the stolen
goods have been returned,
it would seem to
be a simple case.
Is that correct, gentlemen?
All: Yes, Your Honor.
Then we can move right along.
We feel, Willy,
that it would be in
your best interests
if you were held for
observation and therapy
for an undetermined time...
Subject to the review
of this court, of course.
That's the psychiatrist's
recommendation too.
No, Tony says I'm going home.
Your Honor, you can't put Willy
away in one of them kind of places.
I'm going home,
Tony, you promised.
Right... sir, you can't put
Willy in some observation...
Are you attempting to tell this
court what it can and cannot do?
No, sir, Your Honor.
I'm just telling you that's
the wrong thing to do to Willy.
This session in
chambers is at an end.
Gentlemen, we can return to
the court. Hold on just a second.
Officer Baretta, I can have
you held in contempt. Bailiff!
No, no, I know. I'm sorry.
I won't get out of line.
Just give me two minutes of
your time, Your Honor, please.
Just two minutes?
We're talking about a
whole human being here, sir.
Your Honor, you can't put...
Willy away for observation.
If you do, I'll tell you what
you're gonna observe,
and it ain't any
recommendations.
You're gonna see
a sweet, gentle guy
go crazy and die.
You can't put him in
one of them places, sir.
He needs to be in his own place,
where there are
people that love him.
It's not a matter of
playing Robin Hood.
Every child does that.
This man has injured someone,
no matter for what cause.
You yourself were injured.
They were after
him with a knife, sir.
They hurt him bad, and even then
he just grabbed the
knife hand and held it.
Willy's a first offender, sir,
with extenuating circumstances.
I know the law.
All I want you to do
is treat him like
a first offender.
He has the mind
of an eight-year-old.
Treat him like an eight... you don't put
an eight-year-old away for a first offense.
He isn't eight! Look at him.
He's a lot sweeter than a
lot of eight-year-olds I know.
Willy never hurt anybody
in his whole life, Your Honor.
All the time we were kids
he never hurt anybody.
When he grew up, his mother
died, he had to take care of himself.
He's never hurt anybody
in his whole life. Never.
You can't just throw
away a whole life
of being kind and
gentle on account of a...
A couple of seconds
of self-defense.
I know people that would
come through that door,
a hundred of them, I
promise you, a hundred,
that would tell you how much
they loved Willy if you asked them.
Still, someone has
got to be responsible.
I'll be responsible.
I'll be responsible, Your Honor.
The State doesn't have
to take responsibility. I will.
I'll do it.
There was I time when I
thought... I'm sorry, Willy, it's true.
When we was growing up,
there was a time, honey boy,
when I thought it'd be better if
they put you away in the country.
I thought that'd be
the best thing for you.
But I wasn't thinking of
what was best for him.
He ain't a... a... a
threat to society.
He's a part of
society. Like... like...
He's a part of us and
we're a part of him.
He makes a
contribution, Your Honor.
He took a bunch of
wood and boards...
and junk and he put it
together and he made one
of the best newsstands
you ever saw.
And he plunked it right
down in the middle of this city
and he made it work! He was a
success where other people failed.
He's clean and
neat and organized.
He takes good care of himself.
Everybody likes him, and...
his apartment where he lives,
it's a hell of a lot
cleaner than mine
if I cleaned mine for a year!
For the love of God, Your Honor,
I say that with all reverence,
what does Willy have to do?
What does he have to
do before he's a person?
What does he have to do before he
gets the same rights as you and me?
You and me, with
our perfect brains,
that we could go out and
live for a whole lifetime
and we would never have
half of the goodness Willy has.
And how many people, Your Honor,
I'm asking you from your heart,
how many people would
come through that door
and say that they loved us?
Willy's like a bird.
Like a free bird,
just flying around in
his own time and place,
but if you try to
put him in a cage,
he's gonna bang
up against that cage
and bang up against it, and
he's gonna die, Your Honor.
That's what's going
to happen to Willy.
You take him away from us,
and you're going to kill him.
And if he dies,
we're all going
to die a little bit.
Please save him,
Your Honor, please,
save all of us.
If I knew it was going to be
your apartment and chili dogs,
I would've have dressed
a little more appropriate.
Have patience, my dove.
This humble chili dog
represents the first act
in what will be the great
Italian drama of your life.
And the second act?
Hey, Tony! Tony!
Alice the crazy lady is
cooking some chicken soup.
She'll be up in a few
minutes. A few minutes?!
Maybe your cousin
would like some. No, no!
Have you been related long? Put
the soup where the sun never shines.
I don't want any chicken soup.
Willy: Chili dogs! What
are you doing here?
What is this? A present.
For me? Fred.
Here, go give Fred his present.
Come on, Willy! Attaboy!
Willy, that present didn't come
from Sherwood Forest did it?
Hard cash, Tony.
Attaboy! Willy,
how would you like
a nice big bowl of chicken soup?
Hello.
To go with the chili dogs?
Yeah... no, I mean downstairs!
Alice! Hurry up with
that chicken soup
and the kreplachs.
We're having a party!
We're not having any kreplachs!
Alice! I don't
want any chicken...
Honey, if you ever
have a family reunion,
he'll have to hire Chicago.
Terrific.