Bar Rescue (2011–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Murphy's Mess - full transcript

- GO, GO, GO! GO!
[cheering]

- LAST YEAR, MORE THAN
5,000 FAILING BARS NATIONWIDE

CLOSED THEIR DOORS
FOR GOOD.

IF THINGS
DON'T CHANGE SOON,

J.A. MURPHY'S
IN FELLS POINT, MARYLAND,

WILL BECOME
JUST ANOTHER STATISTIC.

IN 2009, COLLEGE FRAT BUDDIES
KEITH MURPHY AND JOEL GALLANT

DECIDED TO OPEN UP A BAR
ON A WHIM.

- EVERY GUY THINKS ABOUT
OPENING A BAR ONCE

WITH THEIR BUDDY
WHILE DRINKING.

WE WERE SITTING AT A BAR,
WE--JUST BULL[bleep] AROUND,



TALKING ABOUT
HOW WE COULD DO THIS,

"WHY DON'T WE DO THIS?
OKAY, LET'S DO IT."

- DESPITE HAVING NO BAR
OR RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE,

THEY SUCCESSFULLY LAUNCH
J.A. MURPHY'S

BY OFFERING
DIRT-CHEAP DRINKS.

- THE VERY FIRST HAPPY HOUR
WAS, UH--[chuckles]

$1.50 MIXED DRINKS
AND $1 SHOTS.

- FOR THE FIRST YEAR,
THE LOW PRICES WORKED.

SCORES OF LOCALS
FLOCKED TO THE BAR.

J.A.'S WAS NAMED
"BEST HAPPY HOUR IN THE AREA,"

AND THE BAR RAKED IN
$12,000 EACH WEEK IN SALES.

- EVERYTHING WE DID JUST WORKED
WITH NO EFFORT.

I CAN'T REALLY
DESCRIBE IT.

I HAVE A TERRIBLE
BUSINESS MODEL.



IT JUST WORKED.

- KEITH TOOK OVER
THE DAY-TO-DAY BAR OPERATIONS,

WHILE JOEL MANAGED
THE BOOKS AND THE STAFF,

BUT KEITH AND JOEL'S
ACCIDENTAL SUCCESS

WAS SHORT-LIVED.

[cheering]

OVER TIME,
THE CHEAP DRINKS

LED TO A BUSINESS
BASED ON EXCESS, NOT PROFITS.

- THE $1 SHOTS
IS WHAT EVERYBODY LOVED,

SO WE HAD TO STICK WITH THAT,
AND WE WERE LOSING MONEY ON IT.

- IT'S ACTUALLY A LOT
OF BINGE DRINKING, REALLY.

PEOPLE COME TO THIS BAR
TO GET DRUNK.

- OVERWHELMED
BY THE BELLIGERENT CLIENTELE,

KEITH AND JOEL
LET THE BAR FALL TO RUIN.

- THIS BAR
SMELLED LIKE

IF YOU MIXED BALLS
AND CHEESECAKE AND A PORTA-POTTY

ALL TOGETHER, THAT'S
WHAT THIS BAR SMELLED LIKE.

- COMPOUNDING
THE BAR'S PROBLEMS,

JOEL'S ABRASIVE ATTITUDE
ALIENATED THE STAFF.

- JOEL DOES NOT GIVE A [bleep]
ABOUT HIS EMPLOYEES,

AND IN ALL HONESTLY,
I THINK IT'S BULL[bleep].

- JOEL IN ONE WORD,
IT WOULD BE "COLD."

HE'S A VERY COLD,
JUST NON-PEOPLE PERSON.

- IT'S A SIMPLE JOB TO CLEAN.
- YEAH.

- JOEL FORCED MURPHY'S MANAGER
MARKA TO QUIT

AND START HER OWN BAR
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER,

LEAVING J.A.'S
WITH NO ACTIVE MANAGEMENT.

- JOEL TOOK ADVANTAGE
OF EMPLOYEES

AND HURT
A LOT OF FEELINGS.

I DECIDED IT WAS TIME
TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME,

AND THAT WAS THAT.

- WHEN SHE TOLD ME
SHE WAS GONNA LEAVE,

I SAID, "DO NOT TAKE
ANY OF MY EMPLOYEES WITH YOU,

AND WE WILL BE FINE
FOREVER."

- MARKA POACHED MURPHY'S
KEY STAFF MEMBERS

AND ACTIVELY LURED CUSTOMERS
AWAY FROM KEITH AND JOEL.

- IT HURT THAT THEY WENT,
IT HURT THAT SHE TOOK THEM.

- WITH FEWER CUSTOMERS,
MOUNTING BUSINESS COSTS,

AND MONEY LOST
ON CHEAP DRINKS,

J.A. MURPHY'S IS NOW
HEMORRHAGING $5,000 EACH WEEK,

AND KEITH AND JOEL
ARE DROWNING IN DEBT.

ONLY TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM
CLOSING MURPHY'S DOORS FOR GOOD,

KEITH AND JOEL HAVE AGREED
TO PULL BACK THE DOORS,

BUST OPEN THE BOOKS, AND MAKE
A CALL FOR HELP TO BAR RESCUE.

RUNNING A BAR
IS NOT JUST BUSINESS,

IT'S A SCIENCE.

FROM THE HEIGHT
OF THE STOOLS

TO WHERE YOUR EYES FALL FIRST
ON A MENU,

NO ONE KNOWS MORE
ABOUT BAR SCIENCE

THAN JON TAFFER.

- I DON'T EMBRACE EXCUSES.

I EMBRACE SOLUTIONS.

- OVER THE LAST 36 YEARS,
JON HAS TRANSFORMED

HUNDREDS OF FAILING BARS
WORLDWIDE.

- I BELIEVE
THAT YOU COULD DO THIS.

- USING HIS PROVEN METHODS
AND NO-NONSENSE APPROACH...

- DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT!

- JON WILL TURN
THESE MONEY PITS...

- CLEAN
THE [bleep] PLACE OUT!

- INTO MONEYMAKERS.

[cheering]

FELLS POINT, MARYLAND.

THIS SMALL, WATERFRONT COMMUNITY
OUTSIDE OF BALTIMORE

IS HOME TO MORE THAN
120 BARS AND RESTAURANTS

CRAMMED INTO
A 76-ACRE AREA,

BOASTING
THE GREATEST CONCENTRATION

OF BARS AND PUBS
IN THE CITY.

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL
BAR IN FELLS POINT,

YOU'D BETTER STAND OUT.
- CHEERS!

- BUT THE ONLY THING THAT
STANDS OUT ABOUT J.A. MURPHY'S

IS ITS DEPLORABLE STATE.

WITH 119 OTHER
ATTRACTIVE OPTIONS

TO GRAB A DRINK
AND A MEAL,

CUSTOMERS HAVE BEEN EASILY
BYPASSING THIS DILAPIDATED DIVE.

DESPERATE TO RETURN MURPHY'S
TO THE SUCCESS IT ONCE KNEW,

JOEL AND KEITH
HAVE CALLED IN

WORLD-RENOWNED BAR EXPERT
JON TAFFER.

JOINING JON FOR RECON
IS HIS DAUGHTER

AND EXPERT BARTENDER SAM.

- THERE IT IS.
J.A. MURPHY'S.

IT'S A COLLEGE BAR.

THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT YOU HERE.
- OKAY.

- YOU'LL BLEND RIGHT INTO
THIS ONE.

- GOOD.
- YOU'RE PERFECT

TO DO THE RECON.
HERE'S WHAT WE GOT.

THIS IS KEITH.
HE'S ONE OF THE OWNERS.

AND HERE'S
THE PARTNER JOEL.

NOW SOMEBODY
ACTUALLY SAID TO ME

THAT JOEL IS THE "J.A."
OF MURPHY'S,

AND THE "J.A."
STANDS FOR "JACKASS."

- WOW.

- LET ME SHOW YOU
HOW BAD THIS PLACE IS.

- ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW
I LOVE MY YELP REVIEWS.

"BEWARE. MY COUSIN AND I
WENT OUT LAST WEEK

"TO J.A. MURPHY'S
AND STARTED OFF WITH A BEER

"AND YOUR SO-CALLED
FAMOUS INCEPTION SHOT.

"LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS
OUR FIRST AND ONLY DRINK.

"IT WAS WAY TOO STRONG OF
A DRINK AND TASTED HORRIBLE.

"STAY CLEAR
OF J.A. MURPHY'S.

IT'S JUST TROUBLE AND A ROOM
FILLED WITH DRUNKS."

- IF YOU'RE HAVING ONE DRINK
AND YOU'RE THAT DRUNK ALREADY

AND LEAVING, HOW YOU GONNA
GET THEM TO COME BACK?

- AND HOW DO YOU MAKE MONEY?
- EXACTLY.

- "I WENT TO J.A. MURPHY'S
WITH A FEW FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL.

"WE MADE THE MISTAKE OF ORDERING
THE CREATE-YOUR-OWN NACHOS.

"WHEN WE GOT THE NACHOS,
IT WAS JUST

"A BIG, SLOPPY PILE
OF GREASE.

I WAS TERRIBLY SICK
IN THE MORNING."

THEY GOT HIM SICK.

I WANT YOU TO GET ME
CONSUMER INTELLIGENCE.

YOU GOOD?
- GOT IT.

- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU
IN ABOUT AN HOUR.

- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.

- SAM HEADS INTO J.A. MURPHY'S,
A 3,000-SQUARE-FOOT SPACE

WITH A CONGESTED FRONT BAR AREA
WITH ONE SERVICE STATION,

A SEPARATE GAME ROOM,

AND A LARGE DINING ROOM
THAT SITS UNUSED.

- AWESOME.
- GOT IT. [laughs]

- AWESOME POSSUM.
- IN ADDITION TO THE CAMERAS

THAT HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING
J.A. MURPHY'S STAFF,

HIDDEN CAMERAS
HAVE BEEN PLACED

AROUND THE BAR
FOR SAM'S RECON,

AS JON OBSERVES OUTSIDE.

[indistinct chatter]

- MY FIRST IMPRESSION
WHEN I WALKED IN,

I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING
AS FILTHY AND DISGUSTING,

AND THE SMELL IN THIS BAR,
IT WAS GROSS.

- GOOD. UM...

- I DO HAVE
TWO-FOR-ONE SHOTS.

- OH, I DON'T NEED TO START OFF
LIKE THAT.

- OKAY.

- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
ON DRAFT?

- NO.

- I WAS KIND OF SURPRISED
THAT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY BEER

OR LIQUOR, CONSIDERING
THAT THEY'RE A BAR.

- YEAH,
THAT LOOKS GOOD.

- THERE YOU GO,
GENTLEMEN.

- THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO ME
ORDERED AN INCEPTION BOMB,

WHICH IS A SHOT INSIDE OF A SHOT
INSIDE OF A SHOT,

ALL IN A PITCHER.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FINISH IT
IN TEN SECONDS OR LESS,

AND YOU GET IT FOR FREE,
WHICH PROMOTES BINGE DRINKING.

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

- GO, GO, GO! GO!
[cheering]

[yelling and cheering
continues]

- YEAH!
- WHOO!

- WHOO!
- 16.6.

- [laughs]
all: OH!

- HE FINISHED IT IN 16 SECONDS,
AND HE WAS HAMMERED AFTERWARDS.

I HAD TO TELL HIM
TO SIT DOWN.

I FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE A LITTLE WOBBLY.

- THANK YOU,
AND YOU KNOW WHY--

- HE JUST DID
THAT REALLY BIG SHOT.

HE'S A LITTLE--
YOU KNOW.

- YOU'RE HURTING MY FEELINGS.
[laughter]

- CAN I GO AHEAD
AND JUST ORDER NACHOS?

- SURE.
- CHICKEN'S GOOD.

- CHICKEN AND CHEESE?

THREE MINUTES?
SEVEN? ONE?

- UH, THREE.

- ALL RIGHT,
I'LL BE BACK.

- THAT'S
CROSS-CONTAMINATION.

SHE'S TOUCHING RAW CHICKEN
AND THEN COOKED FOOD

WITHOUT WASHING HER HANDS
IN THE MIDDLE.

IT'S ALL
CROSS-CONTAMINATED.

- WAS THAT THREE MINUTES
TIMED?

PRETTY DECENT?

- [chuckles]
YEAH, I JUST GOTTA--

I GOTTA PUT THE CHEESE ON IT.
- OH, YEAH, YOU GOT TO GET--

GOTTA LOAD THAT UP.

- IT'S GETTING HIM SICK
RIGHT NOW.

WHEN I SEE A KITCHEN
THAT FILTHY

AND A COOK TOUCHING RAW CHICKEN
AND THEN COOKED PRODUCT,

I KNOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA
GET SICK, AND I GET ANGRY.

THAT CAUSES
SALMONELLA POISONING,

AND I AM NOT GONNA LET THEM
SERVE ANYONE ELSE.

- YOUR FIXED NACHOS,
CHICKEN AND CHEESE.

- THANK YOU.
- THERE YOU GO.

- I'M GOING IN NOW
TO FIX IT.

I HATE STARTING A RESCUE
SO ANGRILY,

BUT WHEN I SEE RAW CHICKEN
MIXED WITH COOKED PRODUCT

AND KNOW PEOPLE
ARE GONNA GET SICK,

I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF.

I HAD TO GO IN RIGHT THEN
AND THERE AND STOP IT.

ARE YOU JOEL?
- I AM.

- I'M JON TAFFER.

- I THINK HE'S RIGHT BEHIND
THE BAR OR MAYBE IN THE KITCHEN.

- LET'S GO STAND BACK HERE
FOR A MINUTE.

- SURE.

- KEITH, I'M JON TAFFER.
- HI, JON, HOW ARE YOU?

- LET'S GO IN THERE
FOR A MINUTE.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN
SO ANGRY BEFORE.

THEY NEARLY GOT MY DAUGHTER
SICK TONIGHT.

YOU, HELLO!
MY NAME IS JON, WHAT'S YOURS?

- TAMMY.
- TAMMY, I WATCHED YOU

PICK UP RAW CHICKEN
ALL NIGHT IN YOUR HAND

AND THEN TOUCH
COOKED FOOD!

DO YOU KNOW
HOW BAD THAT IS?

HOW DARE YOU PICK UP
RAW CHICKEN

AND THEN PICK UP CHEESE
WITH YOUR HAND,

PICK UP CRAB WITH YOUR HAND,
PICK UP SPICES WITH YOUR HAND!

SHAME ON YOU!

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING
LIKE THIS BEFORE!

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU
PICKED UP RAW CHICKEN?

HAVE YOU EVER
WASHED YOUR HANDS?

- YES.

- I'M [bleep]
BESIDE MYSELF!

IS THIS FUNNY TO YOU?

WHAT'S THE DEAL?
- DIDN'T SEE IT.

- YOU DIDN'T SEE IT?

SHE'S TOUCHING
RAW CHICKEN,

AND SHE'S NOT EVEN
WASHING HER HANDS!

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT'S WRONG?
- THAT WAS IT.

- YOU DO KNOW IT'S WRONG?
- YEAH.

- SO YOU DON'T
GIVE A [bleep]?

- I DO GIVE A [bleep].
- NO, YOU DON'T CARE,

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING
ABOUT IT!

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

- IF SOMEBODY WHO IS
IRRESPONSIBLE LIKE YOU AND--

- [scoffs]
YEAH, [bleep].

- AND DOESN'T GIVE A [bleep]--
- AND YOU [bleep] KNOW FROM...

- THAT'S RIGHT, LIKE YOU!
- LOOKING IN FOR ONE SECOND?

- YOU'RE LIKE
A [bleep] CRIMINAL!

- CALL ME ALL THE NAMES
YOU WANT.

- WHY, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW
YOU'RE A [bleep], RIGHT?

- OKAY, LET'S GO NOW,
[bleep].

- THOSE PEOPLE ARE GONNA KNOW
YOU'RE AN ASS[bleep]

WHEN I WALK OUT OF HERE TOO!

YOU'RE GONNA GET SUED
FROM THIS!

TAKE THAT FOOD, THROW IT AWAY.
THROW IT ALL AWAY!

SHUT IT DOWN!
NOBODY EATS.

- J.A. MURPHY'S IS A FAILING BAR
IN FELLS POINT, MARYLAND,

RUN BY TWO COLLEGE
FRAT BROTHERS.

JON TAFFER HAS BEEN CALLED IN
BY THE OWNERS

AND HAS JUST DISCOVERED
THAT THE COOK

HAS BEEN HANDLING RAW CHICKEN
AT THE SAME TIME AS COOKED FOOD.

- THAT'S
CROSS-CONTAMINATION.

SHE'S TOUCHING RAW CHICKEN
AND THEN COOKED FOOD

WITHOUT WASHING HER HANDS
IN THE MIDDLE.

- JON DECIDES TO CONFRONT
THE COOK AND THE OWNERS

ABOUT THEIR NEGLIGENCE.

- SHAME ON YOU!

TAKE THAT FOOD, THROW IT AWAY.
THROW IT ALL AWAY!

SHUT IT DOWN!
NOBODY EATS.

CLEAN
THIS [bleep] KITCHEN!

I'M THE [bleep]
OUT OF HERE!

DON'T EAT ANYTHING HERE!

DON'T EAT THE FREAKING FRUIT,
AND I'M NOT KIDDING!

YOU WILL GET SICK.

I COULD RESCUE
ANY BAR,

BUT THERE MIGHT BE SOME PEOPLE
THAT I CAN'T RESCUE.

KEITH IS GETTING PEOPLE SICK,
AND HE DOESN'T CARE.

I AM NOT GONNA LET HIM
PUT SAM'S HEALTH IN JEOPARDY,

OR ANYONE ELSE'S
FOR THAT MATTER.

- I TRIED
TO WASH MY HANDS,

SO IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS PURPOSELY
FORGETTING TO WASH MY HANDS.

- WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA
BE IN HERE, BUDDY,

WHY DON'T YOU, UH,
THROW AWAY SOME FOOD?

- UH...
NO, I'M GOOD.

- PLEASE PAY FOR YOUR TABS,
AND EVERYONE'S GOT TO GO, ASAP.

SEE YOU GUYS TOO.

- I WAS SO PISSED
LAST NIGHT,

SO I'M GONNA GO INTO THIS BAR
THIS MORNING,

AND I'M GONNA FIND OUT IF THEY
ACTUALLY GIVE A [bleep] OR NOT.

I'M JON.
- HOW YOU DOING, JON? DANIEL.

- GRAB A SEAT, GUYS.
LET'S TALK FOR A MINUTE.

LET ME START BY SAYING,
I'M NOT GONNA RESCUE YOU

BY SCREAMING AND YELLING
AND RANTING AND RAVING

LIKE I DID LAST NIGHT.

MY DAUGHTER WAS IN HERE
LAST NIGHT, MAN.

CAN YOU UNDERSTAND ME
BEING ANGRY?

- YES.

- GUYS, WE'RE GETTING
PEOPLE SICK, MAN.

THAT IS NOT COOL.

I'M NOT GONNA HELP SOMEBODY,
KEITH, WHO DOES THAT,

AND WHEN YOU GET PEOPLE SICK
WHEN YOU KNEW BETTER,

THAT'S NEGLIGENT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?
- IT IS NEGLIGENT,

BUT IT'S MORE IGNORANCE,
AND IT STARTS FROM THE TOP.

- IT'S NEGLIGENCE.

- I FEEL LIKE
THE NEGLECT TERM IS--I--

- IT WAS YOUR WORD.

- IT--IT'S JUST A WORD.
YOU KNOW, I--

- IT'S NOT JUST A WORD,
IT'S A BIG WORD, MAN.

- ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
- I NEED YOU

TO BE RESPONSIBLE, MAN.

I NEED IT TO INFURIATE YOU
WHEN IT HAPPENS.

- YOU KNOW, I-I SHOULD HAVE
KNOWN THAT IT WAS HAPPENING.

CLEARLY
I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH.

IT'S EMBARRASSING,

AND IT'S HORRIFYING
THAT YOU'RE EVEN HERE, JON.

YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE TO BE HERE.

IF THE KITCHEN
WAS GOING THE RIGHT WAY,

I WOULDN'T BE WASTING YOUR TIME
ASKING YOU TO COME HERE,

AND I APOLOGIZE.

I CAN ASSURE YOU
THAT NOT ONLY DO I CARE

WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL,
BUT EVERY PERSON HERE DOES

'CAUSE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE
DEALT WITH THE [bleep] STORM

THIS PLACE HAS BECOME
IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS

IF THEY DIDN'T CARE.
- OKAY, MAN.

WELL, LET'S START OVER RIGHT,
OKAY?

SO GUYS, THIS IS
A BUSINESS OF RESPONSIBILITY.

- KEITH IS TAKING
A LOT OF SHOTS.

I FEEL KIND OF SORRY
FOR HIM, REALLY.

BUT, UH, I JUST
DON'T WANT TO GET YELLED AT,

SO I DON'T TRY
TO CHIME IN THERE.

- WHO TRAINED HER?

- I DID.

- SO YOU STOOD THERE QUIETLY
LAST NIGHT

AS I BEAT THE [bleep]
OUT OF HIM,

PUTTING ALL THE BLAME
ON YOU,

AND YOU'RE THE GUY
THAT TRAINED HER.

OKAY, SO, JOEL, DON'T JUST
STAND THERE AND BLAME HIM.

I'M BLAMING YOU
FOR THIS TOO.

TALK TO ME.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

- WE DID LOSE, UM,
OUR TWO MAIN BARTENDERS

TO OPEN
THEIR OWN PLACE.

- WHAT I HEARD IS THAT
YOU WERE SUCH AN ASS[bleep]

AND THAT THE J.A. MURPHY'S ON
THIS SIGN IS "JACKASS," RIGHT?

FOR YOU.
- OKAY.

- AND THAT YOU CHASED
THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE.

J.A. MURPHY'S
GENERAL MANAGER MARKA

LEFT THEM FIVE MONTHS AGO,
OPENED A BAR AROUND THE CORNER,

STOLE ALL THEIR CUSTOMERS,
AND GUTTED THEM

BECAUSE JOEL
WAS AN ASS.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
WAS THERE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM?

- FROM MY PERSPECTIVE,
HAVING A CUSTOMER COME TELL ME,

"WHY IS YOUR OWNER
AN ASS[bleep]?"

I--WELL, WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO SAY?

- SO YOU'VE HEARD THAT?
- UH, SEVERAL TIMES.

- HAVE YOU HEARD IT TOO?
- MM-HMM.

- HAVE YOU HEARD IT?

OBVIOUSLY,
YOUR PRESENCE IN THIS PLACE

SEEMS TO BE
A NEGATIVE FACTOR.

YOU GUYS CAN'T
MAKE YOUR BAR SUCCESSFUL,

ONLY YOUR PEOPLE CAN.

BECAUSE IF THEY
BELIEVE YOU CARE,

THEY'RE GONNA WORK
FOR YOU.

- YES.
- EXACTLY.

- I GOT TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT TO DO WITH JOEL.

RIGHT NOW,
HE'S NOT A HOSPITALITY GUY.

PEOPLE DON'T LIKE HIM.

I'VE GOT TO GET HIM TO SMILE,
SHAKE A FEW HANDS.

THERE'S NO PLACE FOR ASS[bleep]S
IN HOSPITALITY.

THE OTHER THING THAT
I WAS REALLY PISSED ABOUT--

WHEN YOU SELL
AN INCEPTION DRINK,

IF YOU SELL HIM
A SECOND DRINK,

YOU'RE GONNA LOSE
YOUR LIQUOR LICENSE.

AFTER ONE INCEPTION--
ONE INCEPTION--

YOU'RE BEYOND
THE LEGAL BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL.

- AN INCEPTION BOMB
CONSISTS OF 5 OUNCES OF ALCOHOL.

THAT IS MORE THAN THREE TIMES
A STANDARD SERVING

CONSUMED
IN ABOUT TEN SECONDS.

IN NEARLY ALL INSTANCES,
THIS DANGEROUS COMBINATION

IS ENOUGH TO SPIKE
ANYONE'S BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL

BEYOND THE LEGAL LIMIT.

[cheering]

- GUYS, I GOT TO TURN THIS BAR
FROM A DRUNK FEST

INTO A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE COME,
AND YOU MAKE MONEY.

BARS ARE ABOUT
LENGTH OF STAY.

WE'RE GONNA COME UP
WITH A DRINKS PROGRAM

THAT'S PROFITABLE, FUN,
AROUND AN ENVIRONMENT

THAT MAKES PEOPLE COME HERE
AND STAY FOR TWO HOURS.

YOU GUYS MAKE MORE MONEY,
COSTS ARE BETTER, AND WE WIN.

IF I CAN LIFT THIS BAR AND MAKE
IT FUN RATHER THAN CHEAP,

PEOPLE WILL COME HERE, AND KEITH
AND JOEL WILL MAKE MONEY.

THAT'S MY TASK.

WHENEVER TWO FRATERNITY BROTHERS
GET TOGETHER

WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK ONE NIGHT
AND DECIDE TO OPEN A BAR,

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS,

BUT YOU'RE NOT IN COLLEGE
ANYMORE, ARE YOU?

- NO.

- YOU'RE BIG BOYS NOW.
- ABSOLUTELY.

- IT'S TIME TO RUN A BUSINESS,
RIGHT, GUYS?

- RIGHT.

- NOW THAT JON
HAS LEVELED WITH THE STAFF,

HE CALLS IN HIS EXPERTS
TO GET THIS BAR BACK ON TRACK.

TO INFUSE A SENSE OF FUN
IN THE BAR

THAT DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND
BINGE DRINKING,

JON BRINGS IN FLAIR MIXOLOGIST
CHRIS CARDONE.

CHRIS IS A TOP BARTENDER AT
TELLERS CHOPHOUSE IN NEW YORK

AND IS AN AWARD-WINNING
FLAIR MIXOLOGIST.

BY TEACHING THE STAFF FLAIR,
CHRIS WILL HELP ELEVATE THE BAR

TO A RESPONSIBLE
PARTY ATMOSPHERE.

BEFORE HE CAN GET TO WORK,
CHRIS MUST ASSESS

THE BARTENDERS'
WORKING ENVIRONMENT.

- YOU SEE THIS STICKINESS
ALL AROUND THERE?

FRUIT FLIES CAN GO IN THERE,
THEY CAN LAY EGGS,

AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
SOMEBODY'S DRINKING THAT.

THE FACT THAT THIS THING
IS SO STICKY,

AND THIS BEER IS WARM,
FOAMY, NASTY...

GO AHEAD, DRINK IT.
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

HOW'S THAT TASTE?
- IT DOESN'T TASTE GOOD.

- GOOD, YOU SHOWED
YOU HAD BALLS.

YOU DON'T WANT TO CLEAN,
BUT AT LEAST YOU HAVE BALLS.

FAIR ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT.
WHILE I'M STANDING HERE--

SHOT GLASSES.
DOES THAT LOOK CLEAN TO YOU?

HOW ABOUT THAT? WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIME THAT WAS CLEANED?

AND A GOOD SCRUB.

OKAY?

AND THE ONLY REASON THAT
I DON'T HAVE MORE ON THERE,

IS IT'S CAKED ON.
IT WON'T COME OFF.

THIS BAR IS A DISASTER,
AND IT'S YOUR FAULT.

NOBODY GIVES A [bleep].
NOBODY!

- THAT'S BULL[bleep],
MAN.

- YOU CAN'T BLAME IT
ON ANYBODY ELSE.

- THAT'S BULL[bleep].

THAT'S COMPLETE--WE--OH, MY GOD.
- ALL RIGHT, LOOK AT THIS.

DO YOU SEE THE MAGGOTS THAT ARE
ACTUALLY UNDERNEATH THAT BAR?

THERE'S MAGGOTS UNDER THERE.
MAGGOTS.

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THAT--
THAT MAGGOT RIGHT THERE--

IS NOT GONNA CRAWL THROUGH
A HOLE, GO INTO THAT GLASS,

AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA POUR INTO
A TAP, OR POUR A DRINK INTO--

- I MEAN--
- THAT IS [bleep] DISGUSTING.

- WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO CLEAN WITH.

- WE'VE PUT OUR OWN MONEY
INTO CLEANING PRODUCTS

SO MANY TIMES BEFORE.

- YOU'VE PUT YOUR OWN MONEY
INTO CLEANING PRODUCTS?

- YES, WE HAVE BOUGHT
CLEANING PRODUCTS

FOR ALL THE BARTENDERS.
- SO WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

- THEY RUN OUT, AND THEN...
- THEY'RE GONE.

- WE DON'T FEEL LIKE SPENDING
OUR MONEY ANYMORE ON IT.

- THAT'S BULL[bleep].

THIS THING LOOKS LIKE IT HASN'T
BEEN TOUCHED IN A YEAR.

- I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT IT IS.

- YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT IT IS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
DO YOU KN--

IT'S WHAT YOU USE
TO CLEAN THE BAR.

WE CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TRAIN
OR EVEN REORGANIZE THE BAR

AND GET IT TO BE
A FUNCTIONING BAR

WITH HOW FILTHY
IT IS.

I SAW THINGS
THAT MADE ME WANT TO THROW UP.

- FOR THE KITCHEN,
JON BRINGS IN CHEF BRIAN DUFFY.

BRIAN IS A RENOWNED IRISH CHEF
FROM PHILADELPHIA.

KNOWN FOR HIS ADVENTUROUS TAKE
ON SIMPLE CUISINE,

IF ANYONE CAN TURN AROUND
J.A. MURPHY'S FAILING KITCHEN,

IT'S CHEF DUFFY.

BEFORE HE CAN GET TO WORK,
CHEF DUFFY MUST ASSESS

THE CURRENT STATE
OF THE KITCHEN.

- WHAT WORKS IN HERE,
AND WHAT DOESN'T WORK, OKAY?

- THE FREEZER.
IT WASN'T KEEPING TEMPERATURE.

- OKAY.
- AND SO THEY JUST DECIDED

TO UNPLUG IT
AND LEAVE IT THERE AND--

- WHERE'S YOUR FREEZER NOW?

THAT'S NOT A FREEZER.

- I HAVE TO PUT FROZEN FOOD
IN THE REFRIGERATOR

BECAUSE OUR FREEZER
IS BROKEN,

WHICH MEANS THAT IT GOES BAD.
[chuckles]

- NOW MY BIGGEST CONCERN
WOULD BE THINGS LIKE THIS.

DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT IS?

- IT'S PROBABLY MOUSE POOP.
- OKAY.

SO THAT
IS A MOUSE DROPPING.

BEEN IN AND OUT OF RESTAURANTS
SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD.

I HAVE SEEN THINGS
THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR SKIN TURN,

BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

THIS PLACE IS AS SCREWED UP
AS IT CAN POSSIBLY GET.

IT'S DISGUSTING.

THE FACT THAT YOU GUYS
ARE STILL OPEN SHOCKS ME.

I-I-I GOTTA GET--
YOU KNOW WHAT? HEY, TAFFER!

I GOTTA GET YOU IN HERE, BUD.
- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- WELL--
[sighs] WE HAVE--

UH, WE HAVE
MOUSE DROPPINGS.

- OH, WOW.
- COMPLETE AND UTTER DISREGARD

FOR THE BASICS
OF FOOD SANITATION.

THERE'S SO MANY VIOLATIONS
HAPPENING.

- DID YOU KNOW YOU HAD
MOUSE DROPPINGS IN HERE?

- THIS IS THE INSIDE
OF YOUR HOOD SYSTEM.

- OH!

- THE GREASE
THAT BUILDS UP IN THE HOOD,

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT
THAT EXISTED.

THAT'S PROBABLY
NEVER BEEN CLEANED.

- AND THIS IS THE GREASE
THAT DRIPS DOWN ONTO THE FOOD.

- CAN YOU SERVE FOOD
IN THIS KITCHEN?

- NO.
- IS THAT ACCEPTABLE TO YOU?

[yelling]
IS THAT ACCEPTABLE TO YOU?

- IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE.
- GUYS, ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES

'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA [bleep]
CLEAN THIS KITCHEN.

- WHY DON'T YOU GUYS
TAKE A LOOK IN THERE?

- UGH!

- [bleep], OH, MY GOD!
JESUS [bleep]!

- THE ODOR
IS UNBELIEVABLE.

- I HAVE NO KITCHEN EXPERIENCE.
I DON'T KNOW

WHAT THE HELL
A KITCHEN IS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S--
I JUST DON'T KNOW

WHAT THE [bleep] I'M DOING
AND HAVEN'T FOR THREE YEARS.

- CLEAN THIS [bleep] PLACE.
GOD, MAN.

I'M GONNA MAKE THIS STAFF
CLEAN THIS BAR. IT'S DISGUSTING.

- BEFORE JON'S EXPERTS CAN
EVEN BEGIN TRAINING THE STAFF,

THEY MUST CLEAN
THE FILTHY BAR.

- UGH! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU JUST LET IT GO.

- PUSH.
KEEP GOING.

AS SOON AS I REALIZED THAT
WE HAVE TO PULL THE FREEZER OUT

BECAUSE IT HASN'T WORKED
IN MONTHS,

I COULD FEEL IT IN MY BONES
THAT THERE WAS GONNA BE

SOMETHING BACK THERE.

[chuckling]
ALL RIGHT.

IS THAT INSULATION,
OR ARE THOSE BONES?

- THAT'S PROBABLY
NEVER BEEN CLEANED, HONESTLY.

[clattering]

- HOLD ON, LET ME GET IN THERE
REAL QUICK.

- THINK IT'S JUST INSULATION,
I HOPE.

- YEAH, I'M HOPING TOO, BUT
THAT'S RAT [bleep] RIGHT THERE.

UH, WHAT IS THAT?
THAT--YEAH.

- OH, [bleep]!

- I COULD FEEL IT
IN MY BONES

THAT THERE WAS GONNA BE
SOMETHING BACK THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

IS THAT INSULATION,
OR ARE THOSE BONES?

UH, WHAT IS THAT?
THAT--YEAH.

SO WE GOT A BIG,
DEAD RAT...

- OH, [bleep]!
- IN THE CORNER OF YOUR KITCHEN.

- OH.
- OKAY?

- UGH.
- EW!

- THERE'S
A DEAD [bleep] RAT.

YOU GUYS HAD A DEAD RAT
IN YOUR KITCHEN.

THAT'S SIX MONTHS OLD.

[bleep] DISGUSTING.

THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T SELL
ANY [bleep] FOOD.

- GET IT.
- HOLY [bleep]!

- 'CAUSE I HAD SEEN
DEAD RATS BEFORE,

IT WASN'T A--I DON'T KNOW,
A SHOCK TO ME, I GUESS.

- YOU'VE GOT TO
TAKE CARE OF THIS.

YOU GOT TO DO IT.
THERE'S NO OPTION.

THIS HAS GOT
TO CHANGE.

- I'M EMBARRASSED
THAT WE EVER PRODUCED

ONE PLATE
OUT OF THIS KITCHEN.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I CAN SAY ABOUT IT.

IT'S MY MESS.

- IN EIGHT HOURS,
JON WILL OPEN J.A. MURPHY'S

FOR A SOFT OPENING.

BEFORE HE DOES,
JON SHOWS KEITH AND JOEL

HOW TO POSITION THEIR BUSINESS
IN A CROWDED MARKETPLACE.

- SO LET'S TALK
ABOUT THE MARKET.

IT'S HOME TO 120 RESTAURANTS
AND PUBS IN A 67-ACRE AREA.

A MEDIAN AGE OF FELLS POINT
IS ABOUT 35 YEARS OLD.

AND A LOT OF COLLEGE KIDS
COME TO THIS AREA,

SO I GOT TO MAKE A BAR
THAT FITS A 35-YEAR-OLD

BUT IS NOT UNCOOL
FOR THE 23-YEAR-OLD.

YOU WITH ME, GUYS?
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

- THAT'S MARKA'S BAR.
- THAT'S MARKA'S BAR,

THE DOG WATCH.
TOO CLOSE, GUYS.

THIS IS
ONE COMPETITIVE PLACE.

YOU GOT TO MAKE THEM
WANT TO COME HERE

RATHER THAN
THE COMPETITION.

I'M PUTTING IN A SIMPLE MENU,
SO YOU'RE NOT STRESSED BY IT.

SO I WAS PRETTY CONCERNED, GUYS,
SO WHAT I WANTED TO DO

IS CALL
FOR ANOTHER EXPERT.

- JON CALLS IN SMIRNOFF
MIXOLOGIST JENNY COSTA

JENNY HAS BEEN
A MASTER BARTENDER

FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS
FOR SOME OF THE HOTTEST BARS

IN MIAMI
AND LOS ANGELES.

- SHAKER TIN,
MIXING GLASS.

- THERE ARE ONLY FOUR HOURS
UNTIL THE SOFT OPENING,

SO JENNY
GETS RIGHT TO WORK,

TRAINING THE STAFF
ON HER NEW COCKTAIL MENU.

- MY FAVORITE DRINK
IS THE MARSHMALLOW RITA.

WE'RE GONNA START WITH SMIRNOFF
FLUFFED MARSHMALLOW VODKA.

WE'RE GONNA GO AHEAD AND DO
AN OUNCE AND 1/4 OF THAT,

THEN WE'RE GONNA
HOOK IT UP.

- WHOO!
- WE'RE GONNA THROW

SOME JOSE CUERVO
IN THERE.

WE'VE GOT 1/4 OUNCE OF THAT,
3/4 LIME JUICE.

WE'RE GONNA DO 1/2 AN OUNCE
OF TRIPLE SEC.

WHO WOULD EVER THINK
MARSHMALLOW VODKA

WOULD GO
WITH LIME JUICE?

- THAT'S GOOD.
- THAT'S GOOD.

- BUT IT DOES.
IT'S SO GOOD.

- SO, GUYS,
COME BACK BEHIND THE BAR.

WE'LL SET UP SOME GLASSES, AND
WE'LL SEE WHAT YOU GUYS CAN DO.

WE'RE GONNA TRAIN
RICH, DAN, AND KATIE

IN HOW TO KEEP THEIR EYES
ON THEIR GUESTS

AND INTERACT WITH THEM WHILE
THEY'RE MAKING THEIR DRINKS,

BUT WE'RE ALSO GONNA TEACH THEM
TO BE ENTERTAINERS.

WE'RE GONNA MAKE SURE
THAT WHILE THESE GUESTS

ARE ALSO GETTING
THEIR DRINKS,

THEY'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME,
AND THEY'RE WATCHING SOME SHOW.

WOW. WOW.

YOU LOOKED UP AT ME, YOU
TOOK YOUR EYES OFF THE DRINK,

YOU SPILLED HALF OF IT
ON THE BAR.

- THEY CAN'T POUR.
THEY CAN'T POUR UPSIDE--

LIKE, NOT EVEN PROPER
POSITIONING OF THE BOTTLES,

NOTHING.

COME ON, GIRL,
BE AGGRESSIVE.

- MY DESIGNER
NANCY HADLEY

JUST FINISHED
HER INITIAL INSPECTION,

AND SHE'S TELLING ME
I MIGHT HAVE A BIG PROBLEM.

- SOMETHING WE FOUND
WHEN WE CAME IN HERE TO CHECK...

A POSSIBLE LEAK.

LOOK AT THIS.
- OH, MY GOD.

- YEAH.

- NANCY, THAT'S
A SERIOUS STRUCTURAL BREAK.

- AND IT'S SCABBED.
- YEAH.

OH, MAN.
LET'S GET [bleep] OUT OF HERE.

HEY GUYS,
I GOT TO TALK TO EVERYBODY.

IS EVERYBODY HERE?
- YEAH.

- YEAH.
- SO I WAS DOWNSTAIRS.

THE BEAM DOWN THERE
IS ROTTED.

YOU CAN STICK YOUR FINGER
THROUGH IT.

I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS IS MURPHY'S
[bleep] LAW IN THIS PLACE.

I HAVE TO VACATE THIS BUILDING
RIGHT NOW,

AND NOBODY CAN COME BACK
TILL WE FIX IT.

NOW AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME,
ALL OF US ARE [bleep].

DEAD SERIOUS, GUYS.

GRAB YOUR STUFF,
LEAVE THE BUILDING NOW.

LET'S DO IT,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE QUICKLY.

- THIS IS HORRIBLE NEWS,

AND I THINK THAT
WE ALL MIGHT BE [bleep].

I FEEL LIKE WE'RE
IN SOME DEEP [bleep].

- MAKE SURE
EVERYBODY'S OUT OF HERE...

- YUP, I'M GONNA GO CHECK IT.
- SO YOU CAN TELL ME

WE'RE ALL CLEAR.
- YUP.

ALL RIGHT.
- I HAVE NO SOFT OPENING.

I HAVE NO IDEA
WHEN I CAN START THE RENOVATION.

I'M [bleep].

WELL, GUYS,
WE GOT A UNIQUE SITUATION.

EVERY TIME
WE MAKE A STEP FORWARD,

WE SEEM
TO MAKE A STEP BACK.

- I-I FEEL--
I-I FEEL FRUSTRATED.

I HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS
A STRUCTURAL ISSUE,

AND I'M ACTUALLY--
UH, I'M SPEECHLESS.

- WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE
OUR SOFT OPENING TONIGHT, GUYS.

IT CAN'T HAPPEN.
THE BUILDING IS CONDEMNED.

- UH, IT'S GETTING
TOWARDS THE END OF THE MONTH.

IF I DON'T HAVE A JOB,
I CAN'T PAY MY BILLS.

- AT THIS POINT,
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IF--

IF I WILL HAVE A JOB.

- I'M UPSET BECAUSE I HAVE
THREE KIDS AT HOME,

AND I DON'T KNOW
WHEN WE'RE GONNA BE REOPENING,

AND I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO NOW.

- UNTIL OUR STRUCTURAL ENGINEERS
GET THIS TOGETHER,

I GOT TO SOLVE THIS
FOR YOU.

all: THANK YOU.
- GOOD NIGHT.

RIGHT NOW I SHOULD BE
HALF-DONE WITH MY REMODEL,

BUT I'M NOT
BECAUSE OF STRUCTURAL PROBLEMS.

- AFTER SHUTTING DOWN THE BAR
AND SENDING THE STAFF HOME,

JON BRINGS IN
STRUCTURAL ENGINEERS

TO ASSESS THE STATE
OF THE CONDEMNED BUILDING

TO SEE IF IT'S
EVEN SALVAGEABLE.

- UM, THIS MORNING,
I WOKE UP

FEELING LIKE IT WAS
THE END OF THE WORLD.

AT THIS POINT,
THE STRUCTURAL THING

IS ALL I THINK ABOUT.

I'M NOT EVEN SURE
JON CAN SAVE US NOW.

- RIGHT NOW I SHOULD BE
HALF-DONE WITH MY REMODEL,

BUT I'M NOT
BECAUSE OF STRUCTURAL PROBLEMS.

- AT THIS POINT,
THE STRUCTURAL THING

IS ALL I THINK ABOUT,
SO IT'S--IT'S CRUSHING ME.

I-I FEEL DEAD INSIDE,
TO BE HONEST.

- DRY ROT
IS A WOOD-EATING FUNGUS

THAT THRIVES
IN A WET ENVIRONMENT

AND CAN CATASTROPHICALLY WEAKEN
A BUILDING'S WOODEN FOUNDATION,

POTENTIALLY LEADING
TO COLLAPSE.

BECAUSE OF
THE PLUMBING SYSTEMS

IN THE KITCHEN, BATHROOM,
AND SERVICE STATIONS,

BARS ARE THE PERFECT
BREEDING GROUND FOR DRY ROT.

IN THE U.S. ALONE,
OVER $17 BILLION WORTH

OF STRUCTURAL DAMAGE
IS CAUSED BY DRY ROT EACH YEAR.

- THIS BAR
DIDN'T HAVE MUCH LONGER

BEFORE THIS WHOLE FLOOR
FELL IN.

- WITH THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM
DISCOVERED,

THE ENGINEERS
TRY TO REBUILD THE FLOOR.

JON IS NOW TWO FULL DAYS BEHIND
IN HIS RESCUE OF J.A. MURPHY'S.

WITH NO TIME TO WASTE,
JON TAKES THE STAFF

TO AN OFF-SITE FACILITY
TO TRAIN.

- YOU KNOW,
STILL MOVING FORWARD,

EVEN WITH
THE STRUCTURAL ISSUES IS,

UM, IS TAKING A BIT OF
THE WEIGHT OFF MY SHOULDERS.

- SO WE'RE IN OUR, UH--
WE'RE IN OUR KITCHEN TODAY.

WE'RE GONNA BE DOING
SOME TRAINING

FOR A COUPLE
OF THE NEW MENU ITEMS.

ONE OF THE MENU ITEMS
THAT I'M PARTICULARLY FOND OF

IS OUR GRILLED CHEESE.

WE'RE GONNA DO ONE EGG.
SHAKE IT IN REAL NICE.

SO WE'RE GONNA
DO CHEESE FIRST.

WE'RE GONNA DO
A LITTLE BIT OF BACON,

AND THEN
WHAT WE'LL DO,

WE'RE JUST GONNA POP IT ON HERE,
JUST LIKE THIS.

DROP IT RIGHT INTO THE--
INTO OUR BATTER,

AND IT GOES
RIGHT INTO YOUR FRYER.

DEEP-FRIED SANDWICH.

LOOK AT THAT. SO NOW, THIS IS
YOUR NEW SIGNATURE SANDWICH,

WITH FRENCH FRIES
ON THE SIDE,

AND YOU HAVE--
YOU NOW HAVE A SIGNATURE DISH.

- FLAIR BARTENDING
IS NOTHING MORE

THAN BARTENDING
WITH SOME STYLE,

SOME ENTERTAINMENT.

IT'S SOMETHING
TO DRAW A CUSTOMER IN.

IT'S SOMETHING TO MAKE CUSTOMERS
WANT TO COME BACK TO YOUR BAR

BECAUSE THEY LIKE YOU
MORE THAN EVERY OTHER BARTENDER

THAT YOU SEE
EVERYWHERE AROUND THE WORLD.

- FLAIR BARTENDING IS
THE ART OF UTILIZING BAR TOOLS

IN FLASHY,
SURPRISING WAYS.

FLAIR BARTENDERS NOT ONLY
BUILD RAPPORT WITH GUESTS,

BUT THE ENTERTAINMENT
THEY PROVIDE

EXTENDS CUSTOMER
LENGTH OF STAY,

WHICH INCREASES DRINK SALES
BY ONE TO TWO DRINKS

PER PATRON PER NIGHT.

- THE REASON THAT THIS IS GONNA
WORK SO WELL AT J.A. MURPHY'S

IS THAT IT'S A YOUNG,
ENERGETIC CROWD

THAT IS DYING
FOR ENTERTAINMENT,

AND YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA GIVE IT TO THEM.

SO WE'RE GONNA START OFF
WITH A NAPKIN MOVE.

SO IT'S GONNA
LOOK LIKE THIS.

MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE
FOLLOWING IT WITH YOUR HAND.

REMEMBER,
YOU GOT TO BE AMBIDEXTROUS.

- BET YOU WE COULD DO IT
CHOREOGRAPHED.

- DANG, KATIE!
- [laughs]

- GOD, YOU BLEW IT!

- MOVING ON,
WE GOT A TURTLE ROLL

INTO
A BEHIND-THE-BACK TOSS.

SO WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IS,
WE'RE GONNA TAKE OUR TIN,

WE'RE GONNA DROP IT DOWN
LIKE THIS,

WE'RE GONNA MAKE
A BIG "C."

SO WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO IS,

WE'RE GONNA TOSS IT
BEHIND OUR BACK AND CATCH IT.

SO THE MOVE COMBINED
IS TO TAKE--

WE DROP OUR TIN LIKE THIS,
ROLL IT AROUND,

AND TOSS IT,
AND CATCH IT BEHIND OUR BACK.

WE'RE A LITTLE, UH,
STIFF RIGHT NOW, GUYS, OKAY?

LIKE,
LOOSEN UP, MAN.

YOU'RE BARTENDING,
YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.

- [bleep].

- RICH, DAN, AND KATIE
NEED TO PRACTICE.

IT'S NOT COMPLICATED STUFF.
THEY JUST NEED TO OWN IT.

THEY NEED TO REALLY WORK ON IT
OVER THE NEXT FEW HOURS,

GET IT DOWN,
AND EXECUTE IT.

- TODAY I'M TAKING
KEITH AND JOEL

TO THEIR OLD NEMESIS,
MARKA'S BAR.

JOEL NEEDS TO MEND
THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HER

AND UNDERSTAND WHY SHE'S
SUCCESSFUL AND THEY'RE NOT.

IF NOT,
THEY'RE GONNA FAIL.

ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS KNOW
WHERE WE'RE AT, RIGHT?

- YEAH.
- YUP.

- HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?
- YEAH.

- HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?

- UH, NEVER SET FOOT
IN IT, NO.

- SO CAN YOU EFFECTIVELY MANAGE
AND RUN YOUR BUSINESS

IF YOU DON'T HAVE
A CLUE

OF WHAT YOUR CHIEF COMPETITOR
IS ALL ABOUT?

- NO.
WELL, WHAT AM I GONNA SAY?

I DON'T KNOW WHO GOES IN THERE
AND WHO DOESN'T.

- BARS AREN'T THE ENEMY.
THERE'S ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US.

I WANT YOU TO BE ABLE
TO COME IN THIS BAR, JOEL,

SAY HELLO TO MARKA,
SHAKE A FEW HANDS,

AND WALK OUT,
AND HAVE PEOPLE ACTUALLY SAY,

"WHAT A GOOD GUY HE IS.
I'M GONNA GO TO HIS BAR."

GUYS, IT'S ALL ABOUT
CROSS-MARKETING

AND BEING PART
OF THE COMMUNITY.

I WANT
TO BURY THE HATCHET.

LET'S SET UP AN ENVIRONMENT
FOR YOU TO MAKE MONEY

OFF THIS RELATIONSHIP,
NOT LOSE ANY MORE, OKAY?

both: OKAY.
- LET'S DO IT, GUYS.

LET'S GO IN.

HI, I'M JON TAFFER.
- HI, I'M MARKA.

NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

I WANTED TO SIT AND TALK
FOR A COUPLE MINUTES.

- YEAH.
- OKAY?

- LET'S GO.
- LET'S GO GRAB A SEAT.

I'M SURE THIS IS
A LITTLE AWKWARD FOR YOU,

ISN'T IT?
- A LITTLE BIT, YES.

- I'M SURPRISED
YOU CAME TODAY.

- REALLY? HOW COME?
- I AM.

I FEEL LIKE I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE
TALKING TO JOEL A LOT.

LIKE, I'D TRY TO SAY SOMETHING,
AND I THINK I JUST

KIND OF FELT DISMISSED,
AND IT REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS.

I WAS HEARTBROKEN
BECAUSE WE WERE FRIENDS.

- SO HERE'S
A KEY POINT,

AND THIS IS THE ONE
I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.

HAD YOU FELT THAT YOU WERE
IN A GOOD PLACE OR LOVED...

- YEAH.
- RIGHT? RESPECTED?

MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
THOUGHT OF LOOKING

FOR ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY.
- IF I THOUGHT I HAD A FUTURE,

I WOULD HAVE NEVER INVESTIGATED
OR TRIED TO DO THIS.

- THAT'S MY POINT,
GUYS.

HAPPY EMPLOYEES DON'T DO THIS.
- MM-HMM.

- THEY JUST DON'T, GENERALLY.
- UH--

I DID--
I TOOK YOU GUYS FOR GRANTED.

IT WASN'T "MAYBE."
I DID NOT TREAT HER FAIRLY.

YOU GUYS WERE FANTASTIC,
AND I TOOK YOU FOR GRANTED.

- YEAH.
- I REALLY DID.

- AND I-I'M SORRY.
- THANK YOU.

- I-I REALLY DID
TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED.

SHE WAS THERE FROM DAY ONE,
AND SHE DID--

SHE DID A GREAT JOB
AT WHAT SHE DID.

IT WAS NICE TO APOLOGIZE.
ACTUALLY, IT FELT GOOD.

AND I REALLY WAS AN ASS[bleep]
FOR NO REASON,

SO IT WAS NICE
TO APOLOGIZE TO HER.

- IF YOU CAN JUST
SPEND SOME TIME IN THIS PLACE

AND SMILE
AND LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYES

AND UNDERSTAND, YOU CHOSE TO BE
IN THE HOSPITALITY BUSINESS.

- [laughs] RIGHT.
- YOU CHOSE IT.

- I DID. YEAH.
- YOU PUT YOUR MONEY

ON THE LINE.
NOW YOU GOT TO WALK IT, MAN.

- YEAH.
THIS WHOLE PROCESS WITH JON

WAS THE, UH, KICK IN THE ASS
THAT I NEEDED TO, UH,

SEE THAT THE WAY
I'M PERCEIVED

IS A DETRIMENT
TO US.

I AM GOING TO SHOW THE STAFF
THAT I CARE,

SHOW THE PATRONS THAT I DO CARE
AND ALWAYS WILL.

- I'M REALLY GLAD
THIS HAPPENED.

I'VE WANTED ANSWERS
FOR A LONG TIME FROM JOEL,

AND I HOPE
HE MEANS WHAT HE SAID.

- AFTER FOUR DAYS
OF ROUND-THE-CLOCK WORK,

JON CHECKS IN
WITH THE ENGINEERS

TO SEE IF THIS BAR
HAS ANY CHANCE OF OPENING SOON.

- YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN BUSY,
HUH?

- YES, WE HAVE.
- YES, SIR.

- SO HERE'S THE BIG QUESTION,
AM I SAFE NOW?

- WELL...

- YOU'RE SAFE.
YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.

- YES, YOU ARE.

- WE'RE GOOD TO GO, HUH?
- YEP, ABSOLUTELY.

- EXCELLENT, GUYS, 'CAUSE
THIS WAS PRETTY SCARY BEFORE.

FINALLY!
MY ENGINEERS TOLD ME

THE BUILDING IS CLEAR.
IT'S SAFE.

I CAN PACK THIS PLACE, HUH?
- YOU CAN PACK IT.

- EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU, JIM.

NOW I CAN GET NANCY AND MY CREW
IN THERE TO REMODEL THIS BAR.

- NOW THAT JON
HAS BEEN GIVEN THE GO-AHEAD,

NANCY'S TEAM ARRIVES
WITH LESS THAN 24 HOURS

TO TRANSFORM
THE BAR.

- THIS BAR
HAS BEEN PLAGUED

WITH THE MOST INCREDIBLE
MISTAKES IN THE WORLD,

SO I WANT
TO INFUSE

THESE ELEMENTS OF MISTAKES
INTO OUR CONCEPT.

SO I GOTTA CHANGE THE COLORS
AND LOOK OF THE FRONT,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE THE
HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE OF IT.

SO LET'S JUST REFINISH
THE TOP OF THE BAR, SAND IT,

GIVE IT A NICE, CLEAN FINISH.
- MM-HMM.

- SO WHEN PEOPLE WALK
IN THE BAR,

I GOT TO GET THEM BUYING
THE PREMIUM STUFF.

SO I GOT TO DO SOME LIGHTING
AND SOME MERCHANDISING

TO MOVE THEM
TO THE RIGHT PRODUCTS.

I GOTTA TURN THIS ROOM
INTO SOMETHING COOL,

SO I'M GONNA PUT A BAR
IN HERE.

I'M PUTTING IN A CHILL-RITE 32
DRAFT BEER SYSTEM,

THE BEST
IN THE WORLD.

- AFTER 24 HOURS
OF TRANSFORMATION

AND FOUR ADDITIONAL DAYS
OF SAVING THE BUILDING

FROM TOTAL COLLAPSE,

JON IS FINALLY READY TO REVEAL
THE NEW BAR TO THE STAFF.

- AFTER TEN DAYS,
WE MADE IT, GUYS.

EVERYTHING THAT
COULD'VE GONE WRONG HERE DID.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

YOU GUYS READY
TO SEE YOUR NEW BAR?

all: YES.
- ALL RIGHT.

ON A COUNT OF THREE,
TURN AROUND AND TAKE A LOOK.

YOU READY?

ONE...

TWO...

THREE.

- OH!
- HOLY [bleep].

- GUYS, EVERYTHING THAT
COULD'VE GONE WRONG HERE DID.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

YOU GUYS READY
TO SEE YOUR NEW BAR?

all: YES.

- ONE...

TWO...

THREE.

- OH!
- OH!

- OH, MY GOD.
I LOVE IT.

- I LIKE THAT COLOR.

- AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?
[laughter]

- WE WANTED A NAME
THAT JUST SAID, "WE'RE FUN."

I WANT YOU GUYS
TO LAUGH AT OUR PAST MISTAKES

AND ACTUALLY LOOK AT EVERYBODY
AND SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

"WE SCREWED IT UP
WITH EMPLOYEES, WE ACCEPT IT.

"THAT'S WHY WE CHANGED
TO 'MURPHY'S LAW,'

AND WE'LL NEVER
DO IT AGAIN."

THIS IS NOT
A DRUNK FEST ANYMORE.

- I THINK
THE BUILDING LOOKS GREAT,

AND I THINK THE NAME'S
SIMPLY APPROPRIATE.

THAT'S TELLING IT
HOW IT IS.

- READY TO SEE THE INSIDE?
- YEAH!

- I AM.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT.

- LET'S DO IT.

- OH, MY GOD.
- GOD!

- DO YOU LIKE THAT?

- HOLY [bleep].
[laughter]

- OH, MY GOD,
LOOK AT THESE.

- [indistinct]

- WOW.
- [laughs]

- JON PUT HIS MONEY
WHERE HIS MOUTH IS,

'CAUSE, I MEAN,
THE PLACE IS UNREAL.

- WE'RE MURPHY'S LAW, RIGHT?
- YEAH.

- WE'RE ABOUT FUN, GUYS.
- I LOVE IT.

- EVERY PICTURE
REPRESENTS A MISTAKE.

THAT WAS YOU BASEMENT,
RIGHT UNDER YOUR BAR.

NEXT, SODA GUNS.

THIS IS FROM ELLICKSON USA,
AND IT'S CALLED A BEV-DOK.

IT AUTOMATICALLY CLEANS
AND DISINFECTS IT.

THIS IS THE CHILL-RITE 32
DRAFT BEER SYSTEM.

WHEN IT'S 32 DEGREES
EVERY TIME,

YOU GET 95% YIELD
OUT OF YOUR KEG.

- I TOOK A SIP
OF IT.

IT'S PROBABLY
THE BEST BEER I'VE EVER HAD.

- SO MY FRIENDS FROM 2 TOUCH
CAME IN, PUT IN ANOTHER DRAWER.

WE CLEANED
AND PUT IN ALL-NEW FILTERS

IN YOUR HOOD SYSTEM,
GUYS.

THEN THIS IS
A HENNY PENNY FRYER.

THE FRIES GO DOWN
AUTOMATICALLY,

AND IN 2 MINUTES
AND 50 SECONDS,

THE FRIES COME UP AUTOMATICALLY,
COOKED FLAWLESSLY EVERY TIME.

[laughter]
OPEN THAT UP FOR ME, KEITH.

BRAND-NEW FREEZER, BUDDY.
- WHOO!

- UGH!
- OH, MY GOD!

- GO TO WORK.
WE GOTTA OPEN IN A COUPLE HOURS.

- BEFORE THE DOORS OPEN,
JON REVIEWS THE NEW FOOD MENU

AND WELL-BALANCED
COCKTAILS.

- WE INFUSED MURPHY'S LAW
INTO THE MENU.

SOME OF THESE MENU ITEMS
ARE MISTAKES.

SOMEHOW, TAMMY,
YOU DROPPED

A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH
IN THE FRYER.

HOW YOU DID THAT,
I'LL NEVER KNOW,

BUT WHEN YOU WERE DONE,
IT WAS DELICIOUS,

SO THIS IS
OUR GRILLED CHEESE.

SO IF WE TAKE A LOOK
AT THESE DRINKS,

THE FIRST ONE OVER THERE
IS THE BERRIES AND CREAM.

- BERRIES AND CREAM IS
SMIRNOFF WHIPPED CREAM VODKA

AND SMIRNOFF STRAWBERRY.

ADD A LITTLE BIT OF LEMON JUICE
AND SOME SIMPLE SYRUP,

GARNISH
WITH A STRAWBERRY.

I BET IT'S GONNA BE
THEIR BEST SELLER.

- THEN WE HAVE
OUR MARSHMALLOW RITA,

WHICH ACTUALLY
IS OUR MURPHY'S LAW DRINK.

WHO WOULD THINK
WE COULD MIX MARSHMALLOW

AND LIME JUICE TOGETHER?
DELICIOUS.

TONIGHT IS OUR NIGHT, GUYS.
WE'RE GONNA GET SLAMMED.

LET'S GO TO IT.
[cheers and applause]

BECAUSE OF THE STRUCTURAL
PROBLEMS IN THIS BUILDING,

I WAS NEVER ABLE
TO HAVE A SOFT OPENING.

SO I DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD
RICH, DAN, OR KATIE REALLY ARE

AS BARTENDERS.

I'VE GOT TO FIND THAT OUT
TONIGHT.

IF NOT,
THEY'RE GONNA FAIL.

- WELCOME TO MURPHY'S LAW.
- HOW YOU GUYS DOING?

- OH.
- HI.

- PEOPLE DIDN'T
LIKE JOEL.

HE WASN'T PERSONABLE.
HE WASN'T FRIENDLY.

TONIGHT HE HAS TO BE
THE OPPOSITE.

[indistinct chatter]

- HOW ARE YOU?
- VERY GOOD.

- 32.5 DEGREES.
CHILLED TO PERFECTION.

- UGH!
- ANY DAY NOW.

GARNISH? DEAD HANDS,
WHERE'S YOUR GARNISH?

- YOU CAN'T GET FOCUSED
ON ONE GUEST.

- KATIE IS DYING
OVER THERE.

- I HAD ANOTHER
BERRIES AND CREAM.

TONIGHT HAS BEEN
KIND OF ROUGH.

WE HAVEN'T HAD A CROWD LIKE THIS
IN A LONG TIME.

- DUMP AND GO, MY FRIEND.
ALL RIGHT.

ORDER IN,
I GOT ANOTHER NACHO.

[beeping]
- OH.

- [indistinct]
FRY ALL DAY.

THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE
THAT ARE IN THERE?

WE'RE ABOUT TO GET WHACKED,
AND I DON'T KNOW

IF SHE'S GONNA BE ABLE
TO HACK IT.

PULL YOUR TOOTHPICKS.

OKAY, IT GETS LAID UP
JUST LIKE THIS.

- OKAY, I'LL GO BRING IT
RIGHT NOW.

- THAT'S A DEEP-FRIED
GRILLED CHEESE.

- OH, YEAH.
- IT LOOKS FREAKING DELICIOUS.

[laughter]
- AS IT BURNS HIS MOUTH?

[overlapping chatter]

[laughter]

all: OH!
[laughter]

[laughter and chatter]

[overlapping chatter]

- LOST THE ORDER.
START ME A NEW ORDER.

- THESE GUYS
ARE GETTING KILLED HERE.

- YEAH.
- KILLED.

- CHEF, WE HAD A PROBLEM
WITH A GUEST.

THEY ATE A TOOTHPICK
FROM THE GRILLED CHEESE.

- YEAH, WELL,
WE'RE ADJUSTING THE TOOTHPICKS.

WE'RE ACTUALLY
MAKING THEM LONGER,

SO THEY'RE EASIER
TO PULL OUT.

- WE GOTTA GIVE THEM
EVERYTHING WE GOT.

WE'VE GOT TO MAKE THEM
SUCCESSFUL, OKAY?

LET'S GO TO IT.
- OKAY.

- THEY NEED
TO COME GET THE FOOD.

- HUSTLE, BUDDY.
- ABSOLUTELY.

- NOW YOU SHOULD BE
TAKING HER CREDIT CARD FROM HER.

- AWESOME POSSUM.

- GO.
- POPPERS AND NACHOS.

- HEY.
- GET TO THOSE DRAFTS.

- UH,
IT'S CRAZY RIGHT NOW.

JUST TRYING TO DO
THE SIMPLE THINGS THAT I CAN DO.

WASHING DISHES,
DOING STUFF LIKE THAT.

ANYTHING I CAN DO
TO HELP THEM.

- OH, THAT'S US. THANK YOU.
- OH, OKAY, THANK YOU.

- IT'S SIMPLE.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

I'LL BE HERE, I'LL BE
RUNNING FOOD, I GOT YOU.

IS THIS NOTHING?
- JUST NEEDS A DUNK.

DUNK, WASH, RINSE.
- IT NEEDS A DUNK.

PERFECT. LOVE IT.

I FEEL EXCITED!
SEE THAT?

THAT'S SWEAT OF PRIDE
RIGHT THERE.

- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
- AS FORMER PARTY BOY KEITH

TAKES ON THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF OWNING A BAR

AND JOEL BECOMES
MORE PERSONABLE,

THE RELAUNCH
TURNS INTO A SUCCESS.

[cheering]
- THE GRILLED CHEESE...

DELICIOUS.
- VERY GOOD.

- IT'S NICER NOW,
IT'S CLEANER,

AND THE DRINKS
ARE MORE MY STYLE.

- THE CUSTOMERS
ARE ENJOYING THEMSELVES,

AND EVEN MARKA SHOWS UP
TO GIVE HER SUPPORT.

- JUST PROUD OF YOU.
MWAH.

- CONGRATULATIONS.
GOOD LUCK.

- FINE. THANK YOU.
- LOOK, I REALLY--

- ONCE WE GOT THE EXPERTS
PULLING THEM TOGETHER,

BY THE END, THE STAFF WAS FAST,
THEY WERE ORGANIZED,

AND THEY HAD
CONFIDENCE.

THEY EVEN STARTED
TO SHOW THEIR FLAIR.

[indistinct chatter]

- OH!

[indistinct chatter]

- OH!

[cheering]

- WE RESCUED THIS BAR,
DIDN'T WE?

- TENFOLD.
AND I FEEL LIKE

THE BAR'S BEEN
SUCH A PART OF ME.

YOU KNOW, IN A SENSE,
I'VE KIND OF BEEN RESCUED,

SO I FEEL THIS BIG CHANGE
IN ME AS WELL.

- THE OLD NEGATIVE IS GONE.
IT'S A FRESH BEGINNING, GUYS.

- THIS EXPERIENCE
CHANGED ME.

IT SHOWED ME THAT I GOTTA
LEAVE MY EMOTIONS AT THE DOOR.

NOBODY WANTS
TO SIT AROUND

AND HAVE A GUY IN A BAD MOOD
SITTING NEXT TO THEM.

SO I FEEL GOOD AND EXCITED
STARTING OFF FRESH.

- I BELIEVE IN YOU...
BOTH, VERY MUCH.

THIS BAR
ALMOST KILLED ME.

IT WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT,
MOST FRUSTRATING PROJECT

I HAVE EVER DONE, BUT KEITH
AND JOEL ARE VERY APPRECIATIVE.

THEY STEPPED TO THE PLATE
TONIGHT,

AND THAT SORT OF
MAKES THE WAR WORTH IT.

VICTORY IS SWEET,

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE
TO FIGHT SO HARD TO GET IT.

- WHERE'S THE MOST FUN BAR
IN FELLS POINT?

all: MURPHY'S LAW!