Backstrom (2015): Season 1, Episode 1 - Dragon Slayer - full transcript

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Deb: What do the following
have in common?

Hypertension, hepatitis,
anemia, enlarged heart.

I got them all,

And you could use them
to fail me out of my job.

More importantly,
they could kill you.

Are you still drinking?

Absolutely not.

When a patient says,
"absolutely not,"

He's absolutely lying.

If you hindus are so smart,

How come 98% of you
live at the dump?



Five years ago,
you were demoted to traffic

Because of your health.
That's just an excuse.

Please.
Share the truth with me.

Okay, I will.

I arrested a white supremacist
for killing six indians.

Not tandoori indians like you,
but, you know,

The "whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo"
geronimos.

You were demoted
for catching a mass murderer?

That, and at
the press conference I sang...

♪ one little, two little,
three little indi-- ♪

[ air hisses ]
despite that,

We have a police chief
three months on the job

Who wishes
to bring you back.

Chief cervantes and I
were detectives together.



She totally appreciates
the full backstrom package.

[ velcro rips ]
first you must convince me
that you will not drop dead

Chasing a villain
down an alley.

[ sighs ]

I'm an underpaid
hindu police doctor.

How much payola
would it take

To pass a guy on his physical,
nobody gets hurt?

You get hurt.
You will die.

Sorry to interrupt.

Detective backstrom,
you're needed.

Dr. Deb,
meet officer frank moto,

The reason
I will never have to

Chase villains
down the alleys.

Oh, yeah.
Chasing's my job.

Hey, there's a dead body
at the college.

All right.
We're done here.

This is
my prescription.

"make a friend"?

What am I, 6?

You have one week
to fill the prescription,

Or back you go
to traffic.

Dr. Deb, two things.

One -- knowing
I don't have long to live

Gives me the courage
to do what's right.

Two...

Deb is a girl's name.

Campus cops
identified the dead boy

As tobias percival iii,
only 19 years old.

The third?
Who's his daddy?

Well, that would be
senator tobias percival ii --

A senator.

Where's my corpse?

Oh, looky here.

I thought you said
he was a jumper.

Oh, yeah.
He jumped.

It's the cord
around his neck

That kept the boy
from hitting the ground.

Good morning,
lieutenant.

Detective almond.
Now, you're a religious man.

Is it true suicides
you go straight to hell?

Is it true that cigars
turn your lungs to chernobyl?

I'm a rich, white senator's
pretty-boy son.

I get up before dawn
in the pouring rain,

And I hang myself
from a bridge.

Why?

'cause I got
manhood issues.

Niedermayer: Detectives!

I have some preliminary
forensic thoughts to share

If you would care
to ascend.

Why does niedermayer talk
that way?

I don't know.

You know,
it's a good thing

The chief sent us out
on a high-profile suicide.

Yeah, six weeks
backing up homicide,

We got our first
real dead body.

Oh, happy day.

I'm saying
we find out why

The senator's son
commits suicide,

Maybe our next catch
is a real homicide.

[ siren chirps ]
thank you.

Morning, lieutenant.
"how was your physical?"

She asked as she watched him
puffing on a stogie.

The doctor prescribed
the lieutenant to make a friend.

What's that --
the holistic approach?

My doctor's a hindu,
gravely.

I'm lucky he didn't have me
make friends with a cow.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Okay, make way. Coming through.
[ lighter clicking ]

Campus cop found the body
hanging from the bridge

During the 6:00 a.M.
Security sweep.

Ligature matches
the missing bootlace.

No rigor, so the body's been
dead for less than three hours.

What did I say about forensics,
niedermayer?

Forensics are for the jury,
lieutenant,

But to quote the buddha,
"things are not as they appear,

Nor are they otherwise."

As it appears
for the lieutenant,

This boy had
manhood issues.

Well, that is an extremely
specific conclusion

To come to so early
in a suicide investigation.

No doubt the lieutenant noticed
the boy's work boot,

Which would suggest
an adolescent male desire

To be perceived
as hyper-masculine.

Yeah.
That's what I noticed.

So, gravely,
what's your theory?

Romeo got julietted?

Well, my theory is
it's too early to have a theory.

Well, you know
what's big with kids nowadays?

Getting bullied.

Okay, other likely scenarios
for male college student suicide

Are gay sex tape,
addiction, anxiety,

Depression,
and other mental illnesses.

Schizophrenia,
bipolar disorder.

I am professionally
declaring this suicide

A probable homicide.

What?!

Based on?

Gravely...Homicides,
the bureau covers meals.

Suicides,
we're on our own.

Who's up
for a hot breakfast?

Niedermayer:
Uh, lieutenant.

You were right.
This is not a suicide.

Tobias percival died
of a heroin overdose.

Well,
it's still a suicide

If he got high
before hanging himself.

Detective gravely,

The heroin was jammed
into the victim's face

With enough force -- look --
to scratch his corneas

And to make his gums bleed.

[ laughs ]
yes! We got a homicide!

Almond, you should interview
some suspicious character.

What suspicious character?

Uh...

That black
african-american there.

On account of his color?

Stands out like a raisin
in a bowl of buttered popcorn.

Lieutenant,
maybe we should call the chief.

Maybe she wants to call in
homicide.

No. This case was given
to special crimes unit.

No take backs.

Listen, there's a very bad man
out there who killed this boy

And is trying to make me look
like a fool, you understand?

We are gonna get revenge,
and that is called justice.

That is called
paranoia.

Almond,
start with the campus cop.

Gravely, get me lists

Of all the golden boy's friends
and classmates.

Niedermayer, come on!
We'll go down to the morgue!

We'll talk
to senator percival ii

About what he did
to get his son killed.

I wouldn't start
the interview that way.

Make way.

Your son say anything
to you about any trouble?

You'd have to,
uh, ask my wife.

Toby and I,
we weren't speaking.

Why?

Sometimes fathers and sons
stop talking.

You don't know why.

You know why.

Can we just say that
I deeply, deeply disappointed

My...Idealistic son?

You cheated.

19 -- suddenly,
my boy's an expert on true love.

That's because
he had fallen in love.

Any idea with who?

[ siren wails ]

You get anything
out of the senator?

Kid recently fell in love,
wouldn't say who with.

So probably mexican or old
or something.

I don't need to tell you
about inappropriate love,

Do I, gravely?

Put out that cigar,
heart attack.

I'm a whiz-bang uniform.

I get promoted to vice,

Where I go undercover
as a high-priced call girl,

And I decide to actually
have sex with my johns.

Okay,
that's not accurate,

And you're saying it to me
while I'm armed.

Go ahead.
Put me out of my misery.

Our misery.
[ spits ]

Your next step is to
search the victim's dorm room.

No,
that's your next step.

My next step is to search
for images of naked ladies

On my office computer.

They won't let me search
the dorm room

Until they talk
to the head of special crimes.

Which is you.

I know who I am.
Who's "they"?

It's a matter
of jurisdiction.

Campus police handle
student suicide.

You understand.

You don't.
Kid was murdered.

Lieutenant,
perhaps a nice muffin.

Tobias percival
was murdered?

Yes. It was
a forced heroin overdose.

My doctor, deb,
says that sugar is a drug

And there should be a policy
against it

Like there is
for any dangerous substance.

If heroin was forced
upon percival,

Then technically, the college's
drug policy is moot.

Detective backstrom was talking
about sugar, not drugs.

Have there been other incidents
on campus involving heroin?

Absolutely not.

Oh. [ gags ]

When a person says
"absolutely not,"

They're absolutely lying.

Is the college impeding
a homicide investigation?

Huh.

I'm a typical rich kid
who thinks someone else

Is gonna clean up
my mess.

Oh, look.
Wooden hangers.

There's a sign
you got too much money.

You don't really believe
what you said before

About all murder victims
deserving what they get, do you?

Yeah, I really believe it
'cause it really is true.

Okay, maybe
it's a generational thing.

Maybe I'm just
an optimistic millennial

And you're
a pessimistic gen x,

But I still believe
in innocent victims.

What did you do? Read a book
on how to work with me?

It's not just you.

It's all of the old --
old?

...Der. Older people
that I have to work with.

This isn't
generational.

This is about how many murders
have you solved.

How many
have you solved?

Ah. It's okay.

You probably
read a book on it.

I'll tell you one thing
that's not in any book.

Toby percival did something
that got him murdered.

We figure out what,
we'll know who.

[ beep ]

Nadia,
I've got something for you.

[ french accent ]
shoot it at me.

It's just "shoot,"
nadia.

The college won't cough up
the name of the kid who o.D.'d,

And a warrant's
gonna take days.

You got it, hobbit.

[ beep ]

Here's a laptop charger
with no computer.

Oh, yes.

That is
an excellent trick.

Where did you
learn that?

Boys hide things
from their dads.

What? An ounce of weed
and some hand lotion?

"cass."

Yeah.
I got about 1,000 bucks.

And I got about
a pound of heroin.

The only thing missing from the
victim's dorm room is a laptop.

His academic advisor
said there was a sticker on it

Like this one.
Forensics?

The heroin found
in the victim's sinus cavities

Matches the heroin found
in the boy's dorm room.

Nadia,
victim's financials?

Four withdrawals
over the last five weeks

Totaling $52,800,

Leaving a balance
of nothing doing.

That's about the going rate
for a brick of heroin.

Last year, narcotics shut down
a pipeline of drugs

To the campus run by
the cambodian kitchen staff.

Currently, there's no supply
of heroin to the campus,

Per narcotics.

But the boy was on campus,

The heroin
was on campus.

Therefore, there must be some
supply of heroin to the campus.

As instructed
by lieutenant backstrom,

I interviewed the suspicious
black african-american,

Charles turner.

28. No priors.

Exemplary work record.

Football scholarship
to "u" of "o."

Moto: He was only suspicious
'cause he was black.

I'm compelled to disagree.

Notice in this picture
how turner

Positions himself away
from the city cops,

Like he's trying to
avoid them.

Well, I mean, there's nothing
weird about avoiding cops.

Campus cops,
security guards --

They always bust their humps
to mingle with real police.

Exactly -- I believe
that backstrom lives

Intensely in the moment
on a higher plane of existence

From which he's able to
hear the universe speak.

The universe told backstrom that
charles turner is suspicious?

It registers
subconsciously.

Wow. That's deep.

It's deep something.

[ foghorn blows ]

Valentine: [ sighs ]

All right, one of these is real
and the rest are knock-offs.

Can you spot
the genuine article?

What the hell?
Are you eating broccoli?

Yeah. Deb says I'm gonna die
'cause I'm too big-hearted.

[ scoffs ]
that's rich.

Who's deb?
My doctor.

Oh, well,
she's right.

She's a he.
Oh.

He also says I need
to eat more vegetables,

Quit drinking...

[ chuckles ]

...And make a friend,
or he'll fail me on my physical.

Does doctor deb know
about your prostitutes, huh,

And your gambling
and your cigars?

Hey,
if it wasn't for hookers,

I never would have
met your mother.

And if
I hadn't met your mother,

You'd have no place to live
right now.

My mom is very grateful
you took me in, and so am I.

Anyway, that makes us
practically friends.

Why don't you tell that
to deb?

[ chuckles ] no.

A queer tenant/fence/thief --
no, thanks.

Besides,
you can't be my friend

And my underworld connection
at the same time.

Speaking of underworld...

What did you dig up
for me?

Come on.
I got to solve this murder.

I'm rotting away
in the traffic division.

Make me want to stick a gun
in my mouth.

And I like
catching murderers.

[ sighs ]

Don't make me
have to beg.

I tell you what.

Here's, uh...
About 100 bucks.

I will
help you with this

Only because I want you
to succeed in your new job.

That's not why
you're helping me.

You wanted
the 100 bucks.

Which I want a receipt for,
by the way.

All right,
I asked around --

Junkie transvestite
who turned out

To be completely useless,
and a closeted d.E.A. Agent

Who was the exact opposite
of useless in, oh, so many ways.

Okay, valentine,
I ordered a bowl of soup.

I don't want to hear
how it was made.

Heroin used to be funneled
onto the campus

Through the cambodian
cooking staff,

But they were taken out
by city cops last year,

Which opened the door
for a downtown meth dealer

Named visser to take over
the franchise.

Visser, huh?
What's his system?

Well, heroin's dead-dropped
on campus pre-cut.

Visser's guy picks it up and
distributes to the college kids.

And visser's guy
is a kid named toby.

I didn't get a name.

Money exchanges hands
off-campus.

The buyer's
given a code word,

Which he repeats
to visser's guy.

Toby.
And the buyer gets his fix.

Happy?

[ clears throat ]

But, hey, seriously,
if you go after visser,

Please take someone
who knows how to shoot a gun.

Visser's a psycho.
[ smooches ]

[ footsteps depart ]

None of those watches were real,
by the way.

[ door closes ]
ohh. [ spits ]

[ sighs ]

Woman: Newly-installed
police chief anna cervantes,

Generally regarded
as a stop-gap appointment,

Faces her first high-profile
homicide investigation

With the murder
of tobias percival,

Son of senator...

[ cellphone vibrating ]
male voice: Call, call. Call.

Woman: The 19-year-old's body
was found...
Call, call. Call.

...Early yesterday morning on
the campus of beech college...
Call, call. Call.

[ coughs ]
ca--

[ beep ]
[ raspy voice ] what?

It's noon.

Hmm?

About time you called.

I need narcotics
to cough up background

On a drugger,
last name visser.

Victor-indian-sam...

Yeah.

...Sam...
Okay. I got it.

I questioned
toby's rugby team.

Almond took teachers
and classmates.

Toby was generous.
He was well-liked.
[ sighs ]

He didn't drink much.

He didn't do drugs ever.
What if it wasn't his heroin?

I'm a spoiled brat
who defies senator dad.

Why does your voice sound
like gravel?

I was up all night
working on the case.

It's called
a work ethic.

[ beep ]

[ breathing heavily ]

[ tv chatter ]

[ coughs ]

God.

[ bell dings ]

[ indistinct conversations ]
[ bell jingles ]

Autopsy confirms cause of death
as heroin overdose.

Also, residue indicates
that toby had sexual intercourse

With a woman approximately
an hour before he died.

For future reference,

No bodily-fluids forensics crap
while I'm eating.

So, the deadliest special
on the menu is named after you?

The full backstrom breakfast
is named after my dad, not me.

Ah.

So, eating badly
is the only way

You can connect
with your father.

What?

Old sheriff backstrom,
he's a legend.

So a profound conflict
with a saintly father

Would explain your
self-destructive personality.

Would a saint pistol-whip
a 10-year-old kid?

Sheriff backstrom
did that?

Sheriff backstrom hates me
and always has.

Hate and love are totally
the same energy, sir.

It's how we choose
to absorb that energy

That counts.
Oh, my god.

You really don't mind

Sticking your nose in,
do you, niedermayer?

Bahá'u'lláh tells us
"do not be content

With showing friendship
in words alone."

Well, tell honolulu
that we're not friends

And that I hate you.
[ bell jingles ]

Thank you, sir.
Don't do that.

Don't do that.
Good news,
detective backstrom.

What? Oh, my god.
What's up, niedermayer?

Detective almond
got the name

Of toby percival's
ex-girlfriend.

And she is called cass.

She is called alyson.

Yeah.

Toby dumped you
for someone named cass.

What was her last name?

Hey, hey, listen.
I'm sorry.

We're just trying to
get ahold of this.

Hey, she's faking.

Distracting us from finding
toby's computer.

Hey,
you need a warrant.

No, we don't.

This is stolen property.
Password, please.

I have no idea.

Toby must have changed it
after we broke up.

Type in "cass."

Why did you steal
toby's computer?

Private
personal material.

Wowzers. I'll say.

Individuals
in a sexual situation

With a boy that is not
toby percival.

Moto.
That is a girl.

You can tell because
she doesn't have a penis.

With that much forest, I thought
there had to be a tree.

Wait, so toby
took these photos

And was blackmailing you
for lesbianism.

Toby percival
blackmail?

Please, the shame toby felt
for his father

Stunted his psychosexual
development

At the adolescent
white knight phase.

What's that?
What's your major?

Psychology.

Oh, psychology.
Obviously.

Psychology. Yes.

I'm you.

What do you mean,
you're me?

Toby dumps me.

To prove that
I'm better off without him,

I send him photos
of me snorkeling a girl.

What time did you steal
toby's computer?

I found out
toby was dead online,

Ran over, say, 7:30.

What did
it look like?

His room?
It was clean as ever.

Like I said, white knight,
boring boy scout.

If I was toby and a girl sent me
photos like that,

I'd figure it was an invite
for a threesome.

Had a lot of threesomes,
moto?

Regular amount.

Regular amount
is none.

I was a mixed martial arts
fighter.

We attract groupies.

Hey, you think that's the reason
they attached me to this unit?

I'm the guy
you can count on in a fight.

And for threesomes,
apparently.

What's this?

Bushtits, sir.
Bushtits and bushtit feces.

It's a bird.

Forensics found poop
and feathers on toby's heroin.

Behold every bushtit feeding
station on the entire campus.

Now, testing each station
for the presence of heroin

Should enable us
to unearth the dead drop

Where toby picked up
his illicit narcotics.

Everything you say sounds like
a toast to the queen.

Thank you, sir.

Narcotics got back to us
on visser.

First name eugene.
Owns a bar in hawthorne.

Dedicated recidivist.

Let's talk to eugene

And ask him how he got
toby percival killed.

Visser has no motivation
to cooperate.

We'll say
that if he helps us,

We'll turn a blind eye
to his drug dealing.

Visser's streetwise.
He's gonna know that's a lie.

Trust me.

Visser: The protein in the
albumin bonds with the alcohol,

Transforming this
from a noxious libation

Into a healthful
concoction.

[ rock music plays ]

Mr. Visser, where were you
yesterday morning?

You're cops.

And I don't tell cops anything
I don't got to.

[ gulping ]

Mm!

[ burps ]

That'll be 8 bucks.

All right.
[ sighs ]

Oh.

Oh, no.

You have --
nothing. Got nothing.

Pretty girl.
I'd tap that.

[ chuckles ]

All right. Show him toby.
Here's our dilemma.

Do we work you over
for the killing of the kid,

Or the drug-dealing chinamen
you replaced?

Cambodians.

Lieutenant backstrom
means drug-dealing cambodians.
Cambodian-americans.

Okay.

Mr. Visser retains
this very well-known

And very highly-paid
drug lawyer.

Mm. Really?

[ gulping ]

Oh, wow.
Oh, he's right about the egg.

That is magnificent.

I'm gonna insist
that you pay.

Aah!

Won't be needing this.

My lawyer will be in touch
with you.

[ finger cracks ]

Trust you?
Seriously?

Did you hear how loud
that was?

You got to teach me that.

Visser lied about the egg
being healthy.

Bastard.

He filed a police-brutality
complaint against me.

Which is why
I need you to tell

The civilian
oversight committee

That I acted appropriately
when visser threatened you.

He just pointed at me.

He poked you.
That is assault.

Yeah, in a book, maybe,
but in real life,

I'm afraid the other officers
will laugh at me.

It's a generational thing.

Lieutenant...

All we have in this unit
is each other.

Unit of losers.

John almond
is a burnt-out jesus freak

Who's totally lost
his street smarts.

Almond's a pastor
on the weekends.

It's true.
Wait.

Almond is a pastor?

On the weekends!

He still has
the highest conviction rate

Of any detective
in the history of this bureau.

All the forensics geeks
hate niedermayer so much

They pushed him onto
the sunshine division.

Yeah, they hate him because
they hate being corrected

By a liaison,
and he corrects them

Because he's better
at their jobs than they are.

And we already talked about you,
horny little minx.

And what's, uh --
what's moto?

A short-bus cop?

Highly motivated
to prove himself.

Uh-huh. And that
wacky civilian french chick.

Never mind.
I kind of dig her.

I tell you what.

Punch me in the chest.
Leave a bruise.

Proof that visser
attacked me

And you responded
using appropriate force.

Falsify evidence.

[ scoffs ]
who are you, satan?

"you should die
for what you did?"

What? Me
or lieutenant backstrom?

E-mail
from three weeks ago

I found
on golden boy's computer.

Signed cassie.
Signed archie.

[ snaps fingers ]
archibald danforth.

Rugby boy who dropped out
of beech college.

Dropped out,
he wanted toby dead.

This could be
our overdose victim.

He works
at wholly ground.

Cemetery on fremont.

Fancy coffee shop
on lovejoy.

Damn it. Okay.
I'll bring almond.

Rugby's a sport.
Black guy's got the edge.

[ grunts ]
ohh!

Just taking up
on your offer

To commit perjury
on my behalf.

Photo evidence
against visser.

[ steam hissing ]

Uh, yeah,
I sent this e-mail to toby.

Well, you got your wish.
Toby's dead.

Cream and sugar.

[ chuckles ]
you don't want cream and sugar.

Did toby percival
provide you with heroin?

What? The drug heroin?
No, sir.

I do so
want cream and sugar.

Cream and sugar obscure
the sensory profile
of the blend.

You're not supposed
to have sugar, anyway.

Or dairy,
or caffeine.

Did you drop out of school
because of toby percival?

Yes.

Toby diminished me
as a man.

Almond: Diminished you how,
exactly?

Rugby team hazing.

Rugby. That a team sport?
Yes.

Thought it was something
like handball.

English people
call it "soccer."

Rugby is not soccer.

I lodged an official complaint,
but the percival family,

They have, like,
a way ton of influence,

So, you know,
that was that.

The percivals
got you expelled?

I expelled myself.

Post-traumatic stress.
It's a real thing.

For soldiers
in afghanistan, son.

Not soccer players
in oregon.

What did toby do?
Hot-dog butt stuff?

Super-glue your boy bits
together and play tug-of-war?

Put sugar
in your coffee?

[ laughs ]

They held me down

And toby smeared black
shoe polish on my testicles.

No.

[ sighs ]

This coffee kid
didn't kill anybody.

Did you ever see anybody besides
you that didn't love toby?

[ scoffs ]
saw him get slapped
pretty good once.

By someone named cass.

Yeah, stripper named cassandra.
Yeah, yeah.

How did you know?

Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Toby percival iii
and a stripper?

A private
off-campus team party,

There was, like,
a financial misunderstanding,

And the stripper just, like,
slapped toby

And threatened to get
her brothers to break his legs.

[ dialing ]
[ sighs ]

Son,
I've been a coach --

Real football,
not bocce-ball soccer --

And I'm telling you
to get back into school.

Get back on that team,
and prove to those boys --

No, more important --
prove to yourself

That you aren't in any way
diminished as a man.

And I got black balls,
son.

Not any kind of handicap.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Portland's got more strippers
per capita than bangkok.

Half of them
got to be named cassandra.

I personally know
three strippers named cassandra.

We used to use them
as ring girls

For our
mixed martial arts bouts.

Wait, wait, wait.
What the hell is this?

I ordered
deep-fried chicken balls.

Niedermayer
says to babysit you.

On account
that you live in the moment.

Moto.
Mm?

All that fighting,
how many times you
get kicked in the head?

Couple times. Why?

This is the reason
why you will always be the guy

That brings us food.

[ laughs ]

Wait. Why?

The card matches the sticker
on our victim's computer.

Oh.

Dude.

♪ oh, oh ♪
[ indistinct conversations ]

♪ oh ♪

♪ oh, oh ♪

I'm a stripper.
Why?

Sexual and/or emotional abuse
which undermines your self-worth

And reinforces
your conviction

That the only thing
you have to offer this world

Is your sexuality.

No, strippers strip
'cause they hate men

And they get off
on controlling them.

♪ you know I know ♪

[ sighs ]

When toby first asked me out,
I said no like 100 times.

College boys.

All they want is bragging
rights, bagging a stripper.

Not toby. He didn't
brag about you to anyone.

Golden boy
was ashamed of you.

I think toby was in love
with you.

He left you 1,000 bucks in cash.
Any idea what for?

Boob job? Abortion?

Junior college.

Ah. I'm a stripper.

But what I really want to be
is a beautician.

Social worker.
Hmm.

But I got debts,
and I didn't want toby's money.

Unless he was stuffing it
in your g-string.

We found a pound of heroin
in toby's dorm room.

Along with your cash.

You his girlfriend
or his customer?

Check between her toes
for needle marks.

I don't use, and there's no way
toby was selling heroin.

You got that
100% wrong.

He had a pound of smack.

You think it was for
a psychology experiment?

I don't know, okay?

But it wasn't his.
Somebody put it there.

Toby was beautiful --
inside and out.

Wasn't so beautiful
last time I saw him.

Do you think the percivals
will let me come to his funeral?

I mean, if I got
the right clothes?

I'm a senator burying my son,
the dope dealer.

Why wouldn't I want
the black stripper

He was banging showing up
in front of the tv cameras?

[ snoring ]

[ radio chatter ]

[ tires screech ]
ohh!

[ horn blares ]

What you do is you see
the worst in yourself

And you apply it
to everyone else.

That is not some higher plane
of existence.

That's -- that's disgusting.
That is the gutter.

Did you do that
on purpose?

[ beep ]

What do you got for me,
nadia?

Cassandra lastrange's real name
is catherine turner,

Sister to campus
security officer charles turner.

Charles turner
the campus cop?

I don't see
the worst in everyone.

I see the everyone
in everyone.

[ knock on door ]

Checkmate.

This chess set
is worth $20,000,

And some of these other pieces
are worth a fortune.

I let my decorator store a bunch
of his frou-frou crap here.

Mm-hmm.

I was hoping
you were very naughty.

I can't have sex
with you.

Because your poor health
gives you plumbing problems.

No. No.

You know
I'm a civilian employee,

So there are no police rules
about fraternization, right?

That's not
why I asked you here.

Read that.

Dr. Deb prescribed you
a friend?

And you can't have sex
with friends.

Everybody knows that.

Oh. So, you require me
as a medicinal friend.

Well,
I accept the challenge.

But you would have gone for
the full backstrom package?

Well, the moment has passed,
so we will never know.

Male voice:
Text, text. Text.

Text.

[ sighs ]

Gravely and almond
arrested turner,

And
I am drunk-ass drunk.

Oh,
with your permission,

I will administer
a corsican folk remedy.

Okay. Please do.

What do I need to know
go--

Ohh!

Gah! Aah!
Damn it.

Mm.

I'm on a jury.

I hear about the death
of a senator's son,

A white boy who's been
bumping fuzzies

With a black drug dealer's
stripper sister.

[ sighs ]

Who am I gonna convict
of the homicide?

I'm not a drug dealer.
Uh-huh.

[ clears throat ]

Recognize this gentleman?

Turner:
Absolutely not.

Oh, come on.

The "absolutely not" rule
can't be true every time.

And the question you're asking
yourself right now,

The answer is...

[ slurps ]

...Lethal injection.

I didn't kill toby.
That's the truth.

I don't care about the truth.
I care about a conviction.

[ breathes deeply ]

That boy loved my sister.

He gave her all his money
so that she could buy her debts,

So that
she could quit stripping.

Debts? What debts?
Glitter?

She owed visser for getting
her dancing career started.

Visser.

Visser owns
the whole damn family.

Visser sees the golden goose.

Bleeds toby dry.

Once his money's gone,
cass expects him to quit on her,

But...Somehow, toby figures out
what I do for visser.

He hijacks the stash
from the bird's nest

And he tells me
to set up a meet with visser.

I'm you.

I'm wondering
if toby's gonna save my sister.

I stay and watch
to see how things play out.

No, visser told me to go find
the rest of the heroin.

I'm toby.

I bring a bag of heroin to prove
to visser that I'm serious.

I'm visser.
I'm looking at a boy.

I could easily break some bones,
get my heroin back.

I kill him instead.
But why?

Why?

[ gun cocks ]

Stupid kid
brought a gun.

All right.

You're gonna tell me
everything that you saw,

Or I'm charging you
with the murder.

L-like you said.

I -- toby pulls out
this revolver.

Visser laughs.

He jams the junk
in the boy's face.

Toby kicks but once.

I-I didn't stay
for the hanging.

[ the brian jonestown massacre's
"anemone" plays ]

[ tires screech ]

♪ yeah

♪ instead
you're dragging me down ♪

Moto: Portland police!
Get down!

Almond: Everybody down
on the floor right now!

♪ I could be giving you love

♪ unh

♪ but you're not around

♪ now that you're not around

♪ now that you're not around

♪ now that you're not around

[ thudding ]

[ grunts ]

[ gunshot ]
[ groaning ]

Stop! Don't move!
Don't move!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Put your hands in the air
and lay down on the ground!

[ laughing ] which one?
I'm getting mixed signals.

You want to take your finger
off that trigger?

Any guy who can shoot himself
maybe requires gun safety.

Don't move!
I mean it!

You're bleeding
like it's an olympic sport!

Ohh!

[ panting ]

Lieutenant!
What are you doing?!

He was moving towards
his weapon.

But why did you toss
the gun?

It was so far away from him,
I thought that --

That people would think
I shot an unarmed man.

He was gonna kill me.

Lieutenant.

The bad guy tagged gravely
in the vest. He shot you.

You were totally in bounds
to take him out.

He shot me.
He shot me, yeah.

You're in shock,
lieutenant.

Come here.
Come here, come here, come here.

Hey.
[ grunts ]

Look at me.

You're gonna be fine.

[ sirens wailing in distance ]

[ birds chirping ]

I'm you. I am a cynical,
selfish, lazy man.

Not only did I solve
a big murder, but I'm a hero.

And yet,
I keep digging.

Why?

The reason
I was awake last night

Was because of toby's gun,
gravely.

Excuse my professional
cop pride, but where did it go?

Whoo-hoo!

[ sighs ]

For him I am not lost.

And he is not lost for me.

I hate niedermayer.

Uh-huh.
Okay. C-come on.

This gun is fully loaded.

Trigger was pulled twice,
but it misfired both times.

The gun is sabotaged.

Firing pin was filed back

So that it barely dimples
the cartridges.

Its called a soft strike.

Visser laughed
when toby pulled the gun

Because he knew
the gun was useless.

I'm a paranoid
psychopath.

The only way I know for sure
that a gun won't fire is --

If I sabotage it myself.

Oh.
Sorry.

I just kind of
fell into the moment.

[ chuckles ]

[ buzzer ]
[ crying ] no! No!

[ indistinct conversation ]

[ buzzer ]

[ breathing raggedly ]

The district attorney
is going for the death penalty

Even though my brother
didn't kill anyone.

If someone is killed
in the commission of a felony,

Anyone involved in that felony
can be charged with homicide.

But...
Charles cooperated.

Let's go somewhere
where we can talk.

Can you
help my brother?

I don't want to help
your brother.

Why?

[ sighs ]

How many times
you and visser run this play?

Rich college boy
falls in love with a stripper.

"oh, poor me.

Trapped in a life
I never chose."

Except the other boys quit
after you bled them dry,

But not toby.

I'm a soft boy
pretending to be a hard man.

I need a gun.

Where do I go?

My dad,
the anti-gun senator?

No?

The guys on my rugby team
who are afraid of shoe polish?

Unh-unh.

To my girlfriend.

The lowlife stripper.
And where does she get it?

[ gasps ]
from her boyfriend,
the lowlife drug dealer.

[ voice breaking ]
you're making this up.

We know
you loaded the gun.

We found your fingerprints
on the bullets.

Okay.
I gave toby the gun.

[ sobbing ] but only because
I was afraid for his life.

I didn't know
it was broken.

[ sobbing ]

How do you know...Now?

[ laughing ]

You're a racist pig
who hates women.

There she is. Good.

I lost the boy I love.

Who do you think
people will believe?

[ door opens ]
a raisin in popcorn.

I'm a stripper...

Who sends a boy that loves her
to his death.

Why does she hate him
so much?

'cause there was a moment

In which he made me believe
in him.

True love.
White knights.

But someone
as corrupt as me

Can never have faith
in a person like that.

I stood on the cusp
of an extraordinary life.

And I chose
the wrong path.

Like everybody
always does.

[ door opens ]

Gravely: Catherine turner,
you're under arrest

For the homicide
of tobias percival.

I didn't know visser
would kill toby.

You brought a gun
so that tobias percival

Could blackmail
eugene visser.

Blackmail is a felony.
Statutory homicide.

Even when
it's a white knight

Blackmailing
a drug-dealing murderer.

You have the right
to remain silent.

Everything you say
can and will be used against you

In a court of law.

You have the right
to an attorney.

If you cannot afford...

Deb: Your bloodshot eyes tell me
you have not quit drinking.

I will have you know
that drinking saved my life.

My partner dislocated
the bad guy's trigger finger

When he was attacking me
after I drank his boiler maker,

Which made him drop his gun
and save my life.

And in my own defense,
it had an egg in it.

Come on, deb.
[ sighs ]

I drank african tea.
I ate vegetables.

And you filled
my prescription.

"I, dr. Nadia paquet,

"swear that everett backstrom
and I played chess

"and drank herbal tea
together.

We are true friends."

Yeah.

We're not
sleeping together.

She's some kind
of genius.

The first statement
proves the second.

[ knock on door ]

What is taking so long?

I was starting to worry
you died in here.

Who are you?

Me?
I-I'm gregory valentine.

I work with antiques,
collectibles, objets d'art.

Valentine.

Hey, look around.
Look at this office.

Deb is not one
of your rich doctor friends.

And he's not gay.
He's hindu.

When are you done?
I have a schedule.

No, just go. I told you
I wanted to walk anyway.

Oh, right, right.
Walking for the exercise.

Yes.

Dr. Deb.
[ clears throat ]

If you fail backstrom
in his job,

He has no reason to get healthy
and he's dead in a year.

This young man,
I see a resemblance.

Are you related?

So you gonna pass me
or what?

We'll talk next week.

Wait, I got to see you
every week?

Yes.

I have given you
only a provisional reprieve.

I'm a hindu.

I believe after we die,
we come back to life.

So, why am I a doctor?

Why am I working so hard
at keeping people alive?

Because I realize that
reincarnation is a load of crap.

We've only got one life,
and it's meaningless.

I'm terrified of death.

And you aren't?

Absolutely not.

[ indistinct conversations ]