Babylon (2014): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

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---
The Metwork - our
own news division.

We shut out the press...

It's a vanity project.
It's a 20-foot high statue

of Liz Garvey made out of
cat shit and tin-foil.

What about your Neil? Big fat dong like
a rubber bullet, right up your guts.

~ Give it a rest, Nobbo. Yeah?
~ Ooh. ~ Get down.

~ We arrested the deputy mayor's son?
~ Yes.

Smearing a child? Is
this really who we are?

~ I don't know about you, Rob.
Don't know if you've

got the edge. ~ I'm all edge.
Matt, I did it.

In two days' time, this man will be
armed and on the streets of London.



So, you're saying that
Warwick's a bottler.

~ I never said he was a bottler. ~ Johnny
No-Shoot with his big floppy Glock.

Drop the fucking weapon!

You won't back me, I walk.

Richard Miller is
like an ice-berg.

It's what's below the surface
you need to worry about.

Eyes on target.

He's a jumper.

Do you want to take this?

~ Me? ~ Just talk him
down, nice and easy.

You're all over this, man.

All right, mate? I'm Robbie.

Listen, do you...?
Do you want to talk?

I take that as a yes then.



Life's hard, I get that.
I mean, look at me.

It's my fist day in a new job
and I'm here talking to you

and you're on a ledge, so
that's pretty stressful...

Shit! Bloody hell! Fuckin' hell.

Shit! Fuck!

Welcome to Specialist
Firearms Command.

That's... That's funny, that. That's
proper funny. My kind of humour.

~ Well dark. ~ Uh-oh. Boy
Wonder's sprung a leak.

First day at school, pissed your pants?
Nightmare.

I understand how upsetting
a Facebook comment can be,

but this really isn't appropriate
use of the 999 service.

~ Emergency, which service do you require?
~ This is P. O'Neill.

Police, ambulance
or fire service?

An incendiary device has been placed
at the Thameside Exhibition Centre.

It will detonate this afternoon.

Take this warning
very, very seriously.

What does the device look like?

Like a big black ball with
spikes coming out of it.

What is going to cause
the device to explode?

The device will be triggered by the
inherent contradictions of capitalism.

Could you be more... specific?

The capitalist has to constantly
modernise and automate,

making the worth of the worker
less, thereby eliminating the very

consumers he needs
to buy his products.

~ Read some Hegel. ~ "Hey Girl".
Is that a magazine?

Hegel. Not Hey Girl. Georg
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.

Erm, sorry. How do
you spell that?

I am bent but you are benter.

Let's blow up the
Thameside Centre.

The cleaner gets here at nine,
so if you wouldn't mind...

Yeah, no problem.
Where's the bin?

Actually, the pizza boxes don't fit in
the in the bin, so maybe you could...

Stack it into some sort
of pizza box tower

and set fire to it like
an urban Wicker Man.

~ Who's that? ~
The Deputy Mayor.

He wants to know if I'm
"up for a coffee".

Coffee is either a job offer
or he wants to fuck me.

~ He wants to fuck you.
~ It's a job offer.

~ What are you going to say?
~ I don't know.

Richard's barely spoken to me
since my ultimatum last week,

and I would mentioning it again

but second ultimatum
doesn't sound great.

Just let him sweat and
when he comes grovelling,

tell him you're only going to
stay if he gives you a 25K bump.

Now's the time to max
out your market value.

Have you done coke
already this morning?

Yes, I have done coke
already this morning.

Just for the record, I don't
want to offer you a job

but I very much
want to fuck you.

No-one from the GLA or
Counter-Terrorism could be here today.

Sorry I'm late.

They send their apologies.

The next item is a bomb threat

against the Thameside Exhibition
Centre, received 07:39.

Caller gave his
name as P O'Neill.

Newham have already
completed a PST sweep.

No unmanned packages,
nothing on CCTV.

~ Ringing ahead like a gentleman - how very
old school. ~ Back to the good old days.

P O'Neill is the
old IRA codename.

Ah, that's public domain. The
genuine codeword's Marigold.

He's a joker who's done a
ten-second Google search.

This isn't dissident republicans.
"This afternoon"?

Why give us hours to defuse it?

Yeah, why would they
blow up The Money Expo?

It's backed by the London Assembly.
Mayor's fingerprints are all over it.

Evan Davis is doing a webinar
on Trading FX in the QE World -

sounds pretty bombable.

Someone with the same script

threatened the Bass Guitar
Show at Olympia in May.

Oh, Bomb the Bass!
That's a song, isn't it?

Or a band?

No, I'm sorry. It's not helpful.

We closed it down.
No bomb, nothing.

~ We got hammered by the Mayor. ~
And he doesn't even play the bass.

He probably does by now
- election coming up.

Do SO15 have intelligence
that an attack is imminent?

Premises are vulnerable?
Ex-employees with a record?

No, nothing.

Well, if we don't have
anything that points to a

credible threat, our
advice is not to close it.

We up the security level, send in TSG.
Throw some bodies at it.

Not the best choice of words,
but you know what I mean.

'I am bent but you are benter.

'Let's blow up the
Thameside Centre.'

I'm quoting his rhyme, there.
That's not my rhyme.

~ Next item. ~ Next item is an all
ports warning from Humberside.

We should have given
Robbie the bin bag nappy.

Banjo, man, why didn't you
give him the bin bag nappy?

What if I said it wasn't piss?

What if I said it was spunk?
Because I fucking got off on it.

Then I would say that was a lot
of very watery spunk that came

~ out of your very flaccid penis.
~ And stank of piss.

Here.

Cheers.

Oi, better give us
your camera, then.

See you guys later, yeah?

Yeah. Good to have some...
some downtime.

Yeah. We all need
some downtime, man.

The Open starts soon,
and there's the tennis.

Ah, mate, the tennis'll
sort you right out.

Yeah.

So, what, is this what
you guys do, then?

Stay at home and watch the golf?

Mate, it's not just the golf.
It's The Open.

So, has Clarkey proposed yet?
Third time lucky, eh, bud?

~ Don't believe in fingering outside
wedlock, do ya? ~ Piss off, Nobbo.

I mean, it's a shame
Davina's married to a big,

hunky armed cop with a
massive dick, innit?

Well, you'd know one
when you see one

cos you spend every night
Googling "massive dicks".

Some of your early work, as it goes
- Geordie porn.

I mean, it's not bad, as long as
you don't look at Ant and Dec's

faces when they're
spit roasting you.

Come on, you're not going to leave
me on patrol with Nobbo, are you?

I thought you loved
massive dicks.

Unmanned package near Exit 3, south side.
Keep calm, carry on.

Did he just say a poster?

I think he just said a poster.

Hi, this is Georgia.
Please leave a message.

Georgia. Hi,
sweetheart, it's me.

Listen, you might want to give the
Docklands area a miss today, OK?

Bye.

I'll cut to the chase.
I'm chasing you, Liz.

I want you to come and
work for me at City Hall.

It's a very kind offer, but I'm
more than happy in my present role.

You're a valued member
of a wonderful team

that supports you completely.

Exactly.

Well, should you ever feel,

and God knows I hope this never
happens, that you're the paint

over the cracks of a once-noble
organisation that lost its soul

over a boozy lunch with the tabloids
and never found it again, well,

there's an office at the London
Assembly with your name on it.

As I said, I'm very happy.

Of course.

Also, I should probably
mention that Richard is

sitting on top of a
volcano of shit.

A what?

A rupture in the Earth's crust
that allows magma to escape

or, in this case, massive
quantities of hot, steaming shit.

Right.

The Richard Miller shit volcano
is likely to erupt very soon,

so you might want to consider
coming to City Hall.

A safe harbour free of molten faeces
and explosive jets of anal lava.

Worth thinking about.

As I said, I'm very happy.
Thanks for the coffee.

Bombers don't usually label
their bombs, do they?

Only in Road Runner cartoons.

~ Bet you a million quid it's not a bomb.
~ Yeah, but if it is and it goes off,

we're going to look
like right dickheads.

It's not some sort of
designer label, is it?

What? Yves Saint Le Bomb?

Wouldn't have
fucking thought so.

~ Although, maybe. ~ If we're going
to cordon, we should cordon now,

then call in bomb disposal.

~ They won't be here for half an hour.
~ Yeah,

and they'll definitely
get the robot out.

Oh, yeah. Any excuse to get
the fucking robot out.

We don't need the bomb
boys to get our todgers

out of our trousers for us.

Clarkey? Clarkey, what're you do...?
What're you doing?

Show's over,

unless you fancy a controlled
explosion on some leggings.

Hi, honeybear.

Er... OK. Right. I'm on my way.

Erm, have you, er, talked
to Dr Edmondson? Have you?

No? Do you want me to swing
by the pharmacy on my way?

Excuse me, sir, I'm going to have
to stop you here for a moment.

I'm in the middle of
an important call.

I'm sorry, sir, but I have reason
to believe you're carrying

an item which is not paid for.

I'll call you back.

Ah, welcome back.

You haven't missed much, apart
from everyone wanting to

talk to you and no-one
knowing where you are.

Hi, yeah, call off the dogs and choppers.
We've found her and she's alive.

Liz, the Commissioner's
waiting for you.

Don't worry. We've all been on the
receiving end of a Miller bollocking.

Usually he's thoughtful enough to hit
you where the bruises don't show.

I'm fine meeting in your office.

I'm happy to come to you.

Look, I know this job isn't exactly
what you hoped it would be, Liz.

If you feel like you've uprooted your
whole life for nothing then I apologise.

~ Well, I don't know if I feel...
~ I know you've

felt undermined by Finn,
by Charlie, by me,

and that's not OK.

You should feel free to run your
department with complete independence.

Thank you. I know.

So...

I've decided to give my full backing
to your police-run news network

and to ask Finn for
his resignation.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.
I mean..

What I mean is... that is

the correct outcome for the
good of the department.

I know I look like a police
officer, but I'm a firefighter.

That's all I do,
I put out fires,

but very occasionally the smoke
clears and I have ideas.

The best idea I've ever had?
I'm looking at her.

Well, thank you.

I don't have time to think, to make
the changes that need to be made.

You do. My job is to turn
your thoughts into reality.

Kind of like Father Christmas, but
with firearms training, right?

Exactly.

A lethal Father Christmas.

Congratulations, Liz.

I should take this.

Hello.

Right.

Well, thanks for
letting me know.

You do realise that if you'd
blown both your legs off,

I'd have definitely dumped you.

Do you know what? We should
just bite the bullet,

make a go of it.

"Bite the bullet" -
that's romantic.

You know what I mean, just
do it, move in together.

We both want to, don't we?

What about your kids?

My kids'll always be my kids,

but maybe they'd like to have a Dad
who isn't miserable all the time.

If something comes up,
I'll talk to Banjo, OK?

I'll talk to him.

Warwick just needs some time off,
he needs to get his head together.

I know, but for some reason I
don't think that Rory McIlroy's

sand wedge is going to
be the miracle cure.

Here you go, boys.

~ Cheers, mate. ~ Cheers, mate.

So, er, Hopwood said there might
be an opening in the Black Arrows,

you in?

~ Yeah, I'm thinking about it. ~
Go for it mate. Black Arrows -

that's serious shit.

~ Black Arrows? ~ Don't
worry about it, mate.

Yeah, one step at a
time there, Dorothy.

No, no, no, go on. Go on.

It's the police archer squadron.

Advanced bow technology.

Crossbows, multi-heads,
poisoned tips...

Only train at
night, on rooftops.

They're for special assignments,
like security for the Queen.

Oh, yeah. And taking out deadly
terrorist dummies from tower blocks?

~ It's not like that, wee man.
~ That was a wind up.

This is the real deal.

It's inner circle, elite shit.

So do you reckon I
should apply, then?

Trojan 131, can you make your way
to Thameside Exhibition Centre

to provide armed support
for security operation?

~ Right you are. We're on it. ~ Whoa.
No more baby seat for you.

You're in the hot seat now...
on book.

Yeah, but... what
about the satnav?

You're the satnav
now, matey boy.

See if you can plot a route
from your arse to your elbow.

~ You still coming to our work's do
tonight? ~ Why, don't you want me to?

No, just wondered if you fancied...
going for dinner after?

~ Just the two of us. ~ I thought
we were going out with everyone?

Yeah, I just thought it would
be nice if it was just...

~ you know, me and you, so we could talk.
~ But you never want to talk.

~ What do you want to talk about?
~ Nothing. ~ Bullshit.

What is it? You're
being really weird.

~ Look, can we talk about this later?
~ Are you having an affair?

~ Fucking hell. What you say that for?
Course not. ~ I was joking.

You are, aren't ya?
Oh, God, I knew it.

Look, Sandy, can we
talk about this later?

You want to admit it later? You
haven't got time to admit it now?

Are you really having an affair?

No, it's... I'm at work,
there's a bomb scare...

Not a bomb scare, a threat...

with a low credibility rating.

I'll call you back.

Have you heard any rumours about
Richard around the water cooler?

Well, no, because as you
probably know, we've

had a lot of problems
with our water cooler.

So, must have been pretty important for
Miller to make a trip below stairs.

~ You could say that. ~ What did he want?
Tip for a good ramen noodle place?

The name of your dealer?

Bit of a hug?

If you're trying to make
me sweat it won't work.

I've had my armpit tubes cut,
so I literally never perspire.

The Commissioner has
decided to back Metwork.

As of right now,
it's a go project.

Oh, my God, Liz,
that's brilliant.

I mean, it'll be more work,
it'll be a lot more work,

but it'll be so worth it.

We need to discuss
sponsorship opportunities.

~ I'm going to reach out to my contacts
at Google, Pinterest... ~ YouPorn?

~ Mia, if you get on your
press contact list and

let them know... ~ Let
them know we're not only

making them redundant, we're turning
them into our direct competition.

~ How do you think that's
going to play out on

the front pages, I wonder?
~ I don't care...

because now we have a
front page of our own.

The battle's over, the
good guys have won.

Feel free to shout at the rain from
under your water-soluble raincoat,

but this is happening.

On the contrary.

I am an able and willing
servant of the department.

Mmm. Thank you.

But you might want to consider
buying seed plants for your garden,

tinkering with the
type-face on your CV.

The bomb threat's gone viral.
Someone tweeted saying they

overheard an officer talking
about a bomb scare.

Oh, Jesus.

As yet there's been no official

confirmation from Scotland
Yard about the credibility

of the bomb threat rumour
which has spread online.

Be good to put out an immediate denial
but that's tricky, since it's true.

We're not denying anything.

So you want to deal with this virus
by letting it infect everyone?

Fuck off.

That wasn't very good banter.

I was at the end of my shop when my
wife rang, she's not well and I...

So you admit you left the shop

without having actually
paid for the item?

I was distracted. Why
would I steal shampoo?

I don't even have hair.

In that case, why would you pick
up the shampoo in the first place?

~ It was for my wife, my sick wife.
~ No need to shout, Mr....

Deputy Commissioner.

Deputy Commissioner
Charles Inglis.

Hi, mate. Listen, no biggie, but...
have you heard anything about

Richard backing Liz's
insane Metwork idea?

And is there anything in the water
about my position being...?

I can't talk now. I'm...
in a meeting.

What meeting? I thought
you were off-duty?

Are you with Richard?

Hello? Hello?

Shit.

I can't read in the car either,
gives me a right headache.

Trojan 131 at the RVP. Over.

All right, guys. Bloody hell,
you're hard to keep up with!

~ Sorry, who the fuck are you? ~ Matt
Coward. Rough Collar Productions.

Right. Have you got
authorisation to film us?

~ I've got authorisation coming out
of my arse. ~ I don't think so, mate.

We never got a call. Don't think we need
a wooden leg slowing us down, so...

I won't get in your way, I know what I'm
doing. I've been filming Robbie for weeks.

Isn't that right, Rob?

He knows the drill.
He's all right.

Sorry, mate, not happening.

Yeah, we haven't got the
full, er, team anyways...

Yeah. The fourth man's
off taking a slash.

~ Well, I can wait till he's back.
~ No.

No, the thing is, is, er, he's
chatting up some Expo chick.

He's got a thing for
hot, rich women.

"Dough Hoes" he calls 'em. He wants
to wrap his old man up in a 50

and give it to 'em
up the cashpoint.

So, anyway, we're...
We're covering for him,

so be a sweetheart
and piss off, yeah?

No, I understand. And I'm really
sorry to bring it to you, but...

~ Commissioner... ~
We've got a problem.

It's a misunderstanding. A
complete fucking misunderstanding.

Charles has been arrested
at a supermarket.

They accused me of
shoplifting shampoo

while I was on the phone
to my wife - my sick wife.

Have you been charged?

~ The local force haven't
contacted the CPS. ~ Yet.

If they do bring charges,
or the arrest leaks,

is there a way to... deflect?

"Deputy Commissioner charged" - you
have to expect that to go wide,

especially with the shampoo.
The... comedy angle.

There must be
something you can do.

Well, the sick wife is... I
wouldn't call that an angle

because that would be disrespectful,
but is she... very ill?

Not really, she's got flu.

~ Right. ~ I don't normally do the
shopping. See, that's what probably

contributed to the
misunderstanding.

That's the way in. You're
not an experienced shopper.

Jesus, no need to make
him sound special needs.

I didn't mean...

These things happen.
We've all done it.

~ I haven't personally, but... ~
Oh, it's a Potters Bar thing.

The manager's hated me ever since I
got his Audi towed at the golf club.

~ I wish... ~ Christ! I'm being shat
on from every direction and this

~ ball of waste you've sent flying, what
the hell's wrong with you? ~ I'm sorry!

Get out of here. Go home. Go home
and make some chicken fucking soup.

On the Thameside Centre, online press and
social media are rife with misinformation.

Obviously we can't confirm
or deny a terror threat...

So what are you thinking?

What if you went down there?
A walkabout.

The face of the force
on the ground.

~ Unfortunately, the Commissioner's
schedule's packed today. ~ Clear it.

Liz is right. It's my duty to show
Londoners their city is safe.

Jasmine?

Oh. Thank you.

~ Listen, I've, erm, got a surprise.
~ Yeah?

Spa break. Fire and ice.
Sauna, then ice-shower.

Sounds, sort of horrible,
but it might be, er,

might be nice. Kettering.

Hour and a half up the M1 if
the traffic's not too bad.

Wow. It sounds, erm...

.. sounds great.

See the boys, they're putting
me in for Black Arrows.

Top secret archer squad.

~ Yeah? ~ I shouldn't even really
be telling you, to be honest.

Oh, look, here it is. Nice.
I'm tooling up.

Titanium bow on auction.

Bloody hell. 700 squid!

Fuck it.

~ Why not, eh? ~ Black Arrows?

You sure it's not the old
left-handed screwdriver?

Striped paint?

No way, mate.

This, this is the total real
deal, inner circle shit.

I'm just going to liaise with your
close protection team, Commissioner.

So I've made some amendments
to the Metwork press release,

~ if you want we can just...
~ Liz.

Tomorrow morning there's going to
be a story in the press about me...

.. about a relationship.

Right.

An affair.

Right.

Is it true?

Yes, it is.

It was.

They have long-range photos of me...
of us...

going into a hotel.

Photos. OK. And...

an interview with
the other party?

God, no. She's as horrified
as I am, I imagine.

It's over.

Who is she?

Physio...

.. from police
occupational health.

Amy.

Did you ever... meet with her,
so to speak, at Scotland Yard?

Yes.

We did meet... in the
physiotherapy room.

~ How often? ~ Do you want a breakdown
of all positions attempted?

I just need to know what
battles we can and cannot win.

Anything true is going to come out.
Anything untrue I have to squash.

~ Does your wife know about...?
~ No.

It's important that...

I just want to keep her
away from all this.

Right.

Is there any chance at all
that you can kill this?

I'll do what I can.

It's great to have
someone I can trust.

~ I'm sorry for involving you.
It's not... ~ It's my job.

Is there anything else
I should know about?

Is that it?

Yes...

That's it.

We're ready for
you, Commissioner.

Commissioner...

Commissioner, how do you defend
your decision not to advise

closure of Thameside Centre
despite a bomb threat?

The Commissioner is here to
lend support to the officers

who are working hard to assist
the staff and attendees of

~ The Money Expo which, by all accounts,
is going brilliantly. ~ Thank you.

Commissioner, just
a word please...

~ Commissioner. ~
Commissioner, Commissioner.

'Commissioner Richard Miller's
attempt to provide reassurance,

'here at the Thameside Centre,
backfired dramatically'

half an hour ago when
a suspicious package

was identified by
security staff.

Now, a bomb disposal
team has arrived

and the Money Expo has been
partially evacuated as police

try and contain a rapidly
escalating crisis.

'Hello, Caroline Carey.'

Hi, Caroline. It's Liz Garvey.

'Hi, Liz. I don't
think we've spoken.'

So, I've spoken with Richard,

and I want to discuss possible
alternatives to your story.

'Alternatives?'

We have some exciting news about the success
of our community outreach policies.

Which I would be happy to
offer you as an exclusive.

'Well, it sounds exciting.

'Maybe I could combine it with a
centre spread on a Scout Jamboree.'

I am offering you a way out.

Unless you are completely
at ease destroying the best

police commissioner this
city has ever seen.

Blood on your hands, Caroline. Is
that a look you're comfortable with?

'Oh, I think I'll be
able to pull it off.'

I'm aware the British Press
specialises in rubbing

filth in everyone's
faces, but you have an...

'Or, as we like to call it,
investigative journalism.

'Look, Liz, the police
commissioner is a public servant.

'He had an affair with a police
colleague on police property.

~ 'I think the public
has a right to know.' ~

Listen, Caroline, there's another story.
A big one.

'Yes?'

I would need to get
clearance on this, but

it involves illegal activity at
very senior levels of the police.

Excuse me, what's going on?

Well, the event halls and the boulevard
serving food and drink are still open.

This area's now closed.

Why didn't you
close it hours ago

when you knew there was
going to be a bomb?

This is all going on Facebook.

Yeah, well, if you lose all five
of your friends, don't blame me.

Wheelbarrow's loaded with two pig
sticks, rolling towards the target.

Let me know when you're there.
We'll initiate the task.

~ All good? ~ Yes, sir.

Come on, quick piece
to camera, yeah?

Dunno, mate. You heard
what the boys said.

~ I notice the mystery
man still hasn't made

an appearance. Name's Warwick, yeah?
~ Er...

~ What's the deal with the fourth
musketeer, anyway? ~ Dunno.

~ Hey! Have you been filming
the Commissioner? ~ No.

You do realise you're inside a
police cordon in a restricted area?

~ Do you have authorisation
to be shooting at

a possible crime scene?
~ 'Course. Totally.

I'm mates with Robbie.

You probably know each
other from cop club, yeah?

All right.

Yeah, this
authorisation's expired.

~ Look, I'm authorised...
~ I want everything.

Tapes, discs, memory cards.
The whole lot.

Right?

Hey. Liz Garvey, head
of communications.

I need you to confiscate that
man's camera and any tapes.

~ OK. ~ Thanks.

~ Hand over the camera please, sir.
~ Yeah, no problem.

Is your radio off?

I said all radios off, or you'll
interfere with the comms.

What, like with a phone on a plane?
It's bollocks, isn't it?

What, it's off. It
was already off.

Yeah, I'll turn it off now.

Right. Proceed
towards the target.

There's someone in there. Sir,
there's someone in there!

Hey! Excuse me.

The weapon's pointing straight at her.
Get the weapon away from her.

Excuse me!

Ooh, it's in a spin, look.
It's in a spin.

Yeah, I can see it's in a spin. You
need to pull it out of a spin.

Stay back. Stay back.

~ What's that? ~ It's a robot.
~ Why is it here?

It's just a spinning robot.
Come on. Come on.

~ Everything all right?
~ Er, yes, sir.

Good. Good work, everyone.

We all thought you'd fucked it,

but you pulled it back,
so, er, nice one.

OK, initiate the task.

Oh, that's a proper
Hollywood bomb, innit?

~ Stop. ~ Mmm, it was a hoax. No
batteries or circuitry inside.

Mainly food. Carrots.

~ You guys did an amazing job.
Commissioner, I... ~ And you are?

Liz Garvey, head
of communications.

Oh, yeah, do you do the Twitter Q&A?
I love that.

Commissioner, I need
to speak with you.

Of course. Thank you.

So, I've spoken with Caroline.
I've suggested a deal.

What?

~ But I had to offer
something up, so... ~ What?

Inglis.

Inglis?

"Deputy Commissioner Shoplifts
Shampoo" is a great headline.

And by "great", I mean it...

We hang Charlie out to dry to save my skin?
Jesus Christ.

Is this the same Charlie
who was interviewing

for private security
jobs behind your back?

Our choices are between
bad and terrible.

Do you think it's enough for
her to spike the story?

N... no.

Her editor's heard about Metwork
and wants us to drop it, Richard.

And she wants first position
on every exclusive.

So the grubby hotline
all over again.

OK. Fine.

Plus she wants me to
make her a Thai curry

and give her a lap dance, are
you fine with that, too?

If this story runs,
I'm finished.

I know that. You don't
think I know that?

But no journalist ever
spikes a story like this.

We can give Caroline all
the goodies we want,

it may slow her down for a
week, or a month, or a year.

But sooner or later, she's
going to run us over.

Jesus Christ.

Reports are coming through of an
explosion at the Thameside Centre.

There are believed
to be casualties.

We'll bring you more details
as soon as we have them.

According to eye-witnesses, the
Police Commissioner, Richard Miller,

left the scene shortly
after the incident.

There's one female injured, who's inside.
Davina's outside.

~ She's good. ~
Thank God for that.

Right, suspect spotted
near the ICC Auditorium.

Bulky holdall.
Acting suspiciously.

Assumption of a Type 66 threat.
Critical shots authorised.

Hi, Charlie, call me back.
Tectonic plates are shifting.

Possible tsunami incoming.

Now might be a good time to
launch whatever nuclear weapon

you keep locked in your bottom
drawer for special occasions.

~ Finn, have you heard?
~ Is it me?

~ What? ~ Am I gone?

There's been an explosion.

OK. Right. Good.

What?

A controlled explosion?

Yes. And another, very
uncontrolled explosion.

Shit.

No fatalities, thank God.
Where's the Commissioner?

Well, he's down there. With Liz.

~ What? ~ Well, they took his car
together, without Tom Oliver.

~ I thought you knew.
~ Jesus Christ.

I take it you want me to deal
with the terrorist incident?

Armed police! Move out the way!

Stop! Armed police! Stop!

Stop running!

Stop or we'll shoot!

Stop!

Stay where you are!

Stop! Stop!

Fucking stop!

Stop! Armed police!

Armed police!

Stop! Armed police!

Stop! Armed police!

.. trainers...

Put the bag down or we'll shoot.

.. trainers...

~ Tamaru nam su che? ~
What the fuck's he saying?

~ Tamaru nam su che?
~ Saamir. Saamir.

All right, then, Saamir, I'm going to
have to check your bag, all right?

Put the bag down now!
Slowly! Open it!

Open the bag!

I work here. I have...
I've got receipt.

All right. Well, you keep
that safe, mate, yeah?

Number 10 have called for a
Platinum Command COBRA meeting.

Which hospital has the victim
been taken to? I should go there.

No, I think it's
too soon for that.

Home Secretary.

Miller's called me back in.

'What the hell is going on?'

Maybe she's slipped
something in his green tea,

or up his Jap's eye when
she was riding him.

'Jesus. I'm so far out of the
loop a bomb went off earlier'

and I heard about it
on the fucking news.

For all I know, London could
be at war with Bristol.

If we're going to do this, I need
to tell Charlie face to face.

My office, half an hour.

The husband of the victim
has been on Twitter

~ personally criticising Richard.
~ Jesus.

He hasn't gone to the
press yet, but...

How much integrity would you
say Caroline Carey has?

The journalist?

Well, I hear she left her husband
halfway through his chemo,

but apart from that she's
totally trustworthy.

SO15 have confirmed the
device was a pipe bomb,

likely set by a crank.

Great detective work there

I think we could all assume that
bombers tend to be a little cranky.

~ I know what's going on here.
~ What?

Today's the day you settle
all family business.

Is that from The Godfather?

Me and Inglis. The big beasts. The old
school. You want to take us down.

But if you think you're going
to have a bloodless coup,

let me tell you, it's going
to be very, very bloody.

Finn, you don't have a fucking
clue what you're talking about.

Think you're big enough
to fill my size tens?

You're nowhere near good enough.

I'll wear thick socks.

It's 5:30. Why don't you go home

and enjoy your bitter lemon
in comfort and privacy?

What the hell did you
think you were doing?

Dropping Miller into a crocodile pond
wearing a pair of meat trousers?

The Thameside Centre was safe. The
intelligence was it was safe.

Yeah, sure it was safe Apart
from the bomb that exploded.

Listen. I don't do this for fun.

I'm the last line of defence.
The fucking Night's Watch.

Every day the public
sector gets chipped away,

and every time we screw up, the
vultures circle a little bit closer.

Maybe you should spend a little
less energy on your pet projects

and a bit more making sure your capo
doesn't take a shot to the head.

That is what I'm doing.

Richard Miller seems more than happy
with my ability to handle it.

Why do you think Miller gave
you the keys to the kingdom?

Your unsurpassed brilliance?
Your simmering good looks?

Or because he doesn't want
you to cross to City Hall,

leaving him looking like a
dangler at a glory hole

for hiring you in
the first place?

Are you spying on me?

I'm spying on everyone.

It's my job.

The big filing cabinets
on the fourth floor.

You might want to know where
the bodies are buried.

Good luck.

See, I got a few Indian
mates round my way,

~ so I picked up a bit of this and that.
~ Yeah, yeah.

When I spotted the shoelace
hanging out the bag,

~ I thought, unless he's gone full
shoe bomb, it's the wrong guy. ~ Yeah.

~ You were saying.
~ Again. ~ Yeah.

So, how are you feeling, man?

Uh, yeah.

I reckon you look a
lot better, actually.

Don't you think he looks better?

Yeah. Totally. He looks great.

It turns out Robbie the Boy Wonder
was a bit of a superhero today.

~ Oh, yeah? ~ Group effort. I'm
nothing without my boys, right?

Yeah, you did all right.
For a virgin.

Yeah, don't worry about
the piss this morning.

~ We all pissed ourselves first day.
~ Except Warwick. He shat himself.

Yeah, course I did.

Here, maybe if the Black
Arrows won't take you,

you could always join the
Yellow Trousers, eh?

Ah, fuck. Shit.

Give me five minutes.

What? What's going on? Look, if
this is about the bombing...

Because if Richard...

Caroline e-mailed. She's going
to run with another story.

Another story?

That you warned your wife's sister
not to go near the Thameside Centre.

~ Right. ~ Right. So...

Your sister-in-law gave
the message to a friend,

who posted it on Facebook, "From a
contact at the top of the police."

Is your sister-in-law's
name Georgia?

Uh-huh.

Right.

Well, they are digging
now and, what...

~ Are you having an affair
with her as well? ~ No.

Not as well.

Amy, the physio.

That's over.

But the affair with your
wife's sister is ongoing?

You need to tell me. Because
this is all coming out.

~ I have been trying to end it, but...
~ But, what?

You wanted to give her the
romantic farewell present

of not getting blown up?

Would it have been me next?

Are there any women in your
life who you don't try to fuck?

Does my wife know?

I don't know.

Don't let them speak to her.
I need to speak to her.

They're not doorstepping my house?
We should check on that.

Christ.

How could you be so...

Stupid.

Reckless, but "stupid"
probably covers it.

I really thought we were
doing something here.

I need to go home.

Yes. Yes, you do.

Thank you, Liz.

You don't have anything
to thank me for.

Yes, I do.

Thank you.

I need to know what's
going on here.

Am I being given my
marching orders?

Is it Securamax?

~ Because I can assure you, I've
severed all ties with them. ~ No.

No. It's the supermarket.

I just wanted to say, don't worry about it.
We'll handle it.

I'm not going to let one of my
oldest friends swing over shampoo.

Liz. I hope it's
not inappropriate,

but I wondered if you
had any plans tonight?

There's a Quaker
meeting I go to,

and I thought you
might like to join.

It's a very peaceful experience.

~ You basically just sit
in silence, but... ~ Tom.

That sounds so great,
but I have this...

~ A thing. ~ Right.
Sure. No problem.

~ See. ~ Mmm.

~ Boom's got you. ~ Yes.

Miles. What a nice surprise.

All right?

~ In a bit. ~ Why were you at
the Thameside Centre today?

~ You should have been filming
the Wildlife Crime Unit ~ Mate.

You think filming egg
thieves is better

than being live on the scene
of a terrorist attack?

Wildlife Crime? That's
Springwatch meets Prime Suspect.

Ratings off the scale.

I'm just trying to film
the good shit, you know?

~ Something with a bit of edge. ~
For you, or for me? ~ For humanity.

~ Right, hey! That's a...
~ Computer,

belonging to Rough Collar Productions.
Containing footage shot

by an employee of Rough
Collar Productions.

You've got tomorrow to
clear your stuff out.

Try nicking anything else,
I'll call the cops.

And not the Wildlife Crime Squad.
The fucking Death Squad.

Yeah, well, you know, you saved
that woman's life today.

I'm proud of you, you know?

Thanks.

Look, I just want to say that

I think you should
cancel the spa break.

Yeah?

OK. We can go somewhere else?

Center Parcs?

I don't want to go
to Center Parcs.

I just want to go home. To talk.

Hello, Caroline?

No comment.

'It is these islands that make
up the Sundarbans Tiger Reserve.

'Hiding behind dense clumps of
undergrowth are one of the...'

~ I have to go back to the office for
a few hours. ~ Don't be too late.

'What sets these
tigers apart...'

No, I won't.

'.. is their inclination for
attacking and killing humans.'

Into Dust by Mazzy Star

♪ Still

♪ Falling

♪ Breathless and on again

♪ I could possibly be fading

♪ Or have something more to gain

♪ I could feel myself
growing colder

♪ I could feel myself

♪ Under your fate

♪ Under

♪ Your fate... ♪

Traktor by Wretch 32