B Positive (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Novocaine, Bond and Bocce - full transcript

Previously on
B Positive...

I just wish that,
you know, I could find a guy

who... who gets me.

Accepts me for me.

You'll find that guy.

Will I?

Absolutely.

And he'll appreciate how

amazing you are,

and how much happiness
you bring to other people.

Drew?Yeah.



I think I found that guy.

Mmm.

Mmm. This is a bad idea.

Why?Because you've had
a lot to drink.

I disagree to agree.

I have had exactly
the right amount.

The truth is...

I love you, Gina.

Gina?

You still there?

Perfect.

[sighs] Good morning.

Is it?

You kind of look
like my daughter



right before
she went into rehab.

How kind of you to say.

Back in the day,
I had a perfect hangover cure.

Oh, God. Tell me.

Cocaine.

Thank you.

Mmm. This looks good.

Look at that bacon.

Every day,
I ask for soft.

Every day, I get crispy.

Don't tell me. Tell her.

You know, every day, I...

I heard you!

I will talk to the chef.

How can you call a person a chef
when they can't cook bacon?

May I join you?

Please.

[clears throat]

What?

You feel as bad as you look?

Worse.

"Wine comes in at the mouth,
love comes in at the eye.

"That's all we shall know
for truth,

before we grow old and die."

[laughs]
William Butler Yeats.

Did he write one about
dry heaves on the way to work?

Charming.

Ow! Damn it!
Uh, are you okay?

I think I cracked a tooth.

I bet you'd like soft bacon now.

♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

♪ And if you're feeling
like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative♪

♪ To be positive.

Thanks for squeezing me in,
Jer.

'Course. Uh, when was the
last time you saw a dentist?

Uh, I don't remember exactly,
but when it was over,

I got a yo-yo and a lollipop.

Lorraine, clear
my morning!

This is a pretty
swanky office.

You must be doing pretty well.Oh, I do all right.

Between you and me, most
of the East Coast rappers come

to me for their grill work.

No way.
Yeah.

You want a little bling-bling

in your upper incisors,
I'm your man.

All right, let's have a look.

Here we go.

[sighs]

Ah.

Uh-huh. Wider.Mm.

Yeah, we got a Humpty-Dumpty.

[muffled]:
What that?

Not even Funk Jerry P can put
this tooth back together again.

You're gonna need a crown.

Ugh. Man!

Don't worry.
I'm really good at what I do.

Just ask Cardi B.

You know Cardi B?

"Got a bag and fixed my teeth.

Hope you hoes know
that ain't cheap."

That's about me.

No!
Yeah!

I did her caps, I did
her veneers, the whole deal.

She even gave me
a special thanks on her album.

Okrrr.
Let's do this.

Little bit for my homies.

Question.

For a colonoscopy, do I need
to update my advance directive?

You know, if I want 'em
to pull the plug?

[scoffs] If you can't survive
a colonoscopy,

maybe the plug is
already pulled.

My worst nightmare--
lying in a vegetative state,

my body wasting away.

What's wrong with me that
that image makes me horny?

Can we finish up the game?

My granddaughter's coming
to take me to lunch.

Oh, she's wonderful.
I follow her on Instagram.

Ask her where she gets
her yoga pants.

Sure, that's what you need,
tighter clothes.

I agree.

I want to see her
before she goes back to college.

Wait, didn't she graduate
last year?

What?

Your granddaughter.

You showed us pictures
of her at her graduation.

I-I-I meant... [grunts]

before she starts her new job.
[chuckles]

Can we just finish up
the damn game?

Sorry.

Lululemon.
What?

His granddaughter's yoga pants.

I vote you get pink.

Okay, you should be
feeling the gas by now.

No,

you should be feeling
the gas by now.

Okay, that's enough.

[laughs]

All right, now
let's do the novocaine.

Do the novocaine. [vocalizing
to the tune of "Do the Hustle"]

Open up.
All right.

This shouldn't hurt.
Maybe just a little pinch.

Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.[groans]

All right.

There you go.
Now, in a few minutes,

you should be
numb enough to...

Oh, poop.

[body thuds]

[laughing]

Jerry go boom.

Hey. What happened?
Hey.

[slurring]: I don't know.
He just co-wapsed.

Why are you
talking like that?
Oh.

Novocaine.
I cracked a tooth.

How is he?

I don't know.
I'll try to get an update.

[sighs]

[sighs] So, uh,
what happened?

He just collapsed
in his dentist office.

Why are you talking
like that?
Oh, novocaine.

I cracked a tooth.

How'd that happen?Crispy bacon.

[sighs]

[smacks lips]

[exhales]

[clears throat]

Drew, listen,
about last night...

Oh, why don't we talk
about it later?

No, no, now.
[stammers]

I had too much to drink.
I'm so sorry.

These things happen.
It's no big deal.

Yeah, but kissing you
was compwetely inappropriate.

I wouldn't say
"compwetely."

I would never want
our friendship

to be
compromised.

Me, either.

Okay?

You're drooling
a little.

How is he?

Oh, we don't know.

Gideon went to go get
a prognosis.

Why you talking like that?

Ugh, please tell him.

She "cwacked a toof."

Ah.

Did you know
Jerry knows Cardi B?

What?The rapper.

Hey.Hey.

Hi, guys.
Aw.

How you doing, man?

I'm all right.
I feel stupid.

Fainting.
What do my homies think?

Your homies?I'll tell you later.

Your chart says you have
atrial fibrillation.

That's none of your business.

Jerry,
that's serious.

A lot of people have
an irregular heartbeat.

As soon as I get
my meds figured out,

it won't happen again.

Wait, this isn't
the first time?

It's no big deal.GINA: That's ridiculous.

What if you pass out
while you're driving

or you're drilling
my tooth?

GIDEON:
You could have a stroke

and hit your head
and hemorrhage.

Not to mention,
you are in kidney failure.

Yeah, man, you really
shouldn't be living alone.

Oh, my God.

Wightbuwb!

Come wiv at Vawwey Hills
till you're better.

What?

Oh, she said,
"Oh, my God. Lightbulb.

Come live at Valley Hills
till you're better."

Thank you.

I'm not living in an
old folks' home. I'm only 56.

Uh, your chart
says you're...

I'm 56.

I'm too young
for shuffleboard and bingo.

What harm would it do
to at least go check it out?

Yeah, maybe we have
dinner there tomorrow,

and you can
see for yourself.

I promise
you won't regret it.

We have a very vibrant,
active community.

Fine. What time's dinner?

4:00.

Hello, Harry.
[grunts]

Meredith, we haven't
officially met yet.

I'm Drew.

Nice to meet you.

How'd your dinner go with Gina?

You told her?

We're together all day long,

you run out of things
to talk about.

Well, the date didn't go
exactly how I'd hoped.

You should be
used to that by now.

What happened?

Before I could
tell her how I feel,

we ran into her ex-boyfriend.

The broke football player?

I told you that
in confidence.

Bad move.

Anyway, uh,
he was on a date,

she got upset,
got very drunk,

kissed me,
passed out,

and then told me
it was a mistake.

Is that in confidence?
'Cause that's pretty juicy.

MEREDITH:
Hang on.

If she kissed you,
that means something.

Yeah, it means
I'm a mistake,

as was sharing
my feelings with you.

Again, your fault.

"Naomi's Chicken Parmesan."
Who's Naomi?

One of our residents.
That was her favorite.

Was?
Massive stroke,
not the chicken.

Um, just so you know,

all the meals are included.

It's like being
on a cruise ship,

but with fewer STDs.

Well...

So, uh...

How was the tour?
What do you think?

It-It's all very nice.

It's just not for me.

W-Well, did you show him
the game room?

Do you like Kiss?
Do you like pinball?

Because you're gonna
love them together.

Could we just have a nice dinner

and just forget the whole idea?

Sure. Okay.

[groans] Ow! Cold, cold, cold.

Oh, yeah, until we
get that tooth fixed,

you're gonna have to avoid
cold liquids.

Okay.Also hot liquids.

So liquids.

You do realize your insurance
will cover living here?

And remember,
it's just temporary.

Come on, guys.
Can we just leave it alone?

Okay.

Enjoy your dinner.Sorry.

Make sure you leave room
for dessert.

Okay.
You can work it off
in our fitness center,

then freshen up in a sit-down
tub or a walk-in shower.

Okay, that's it.
I'm out of here.

Jerry.I'm so sorry.
Come on.

Oh, poop again.[body thuds]

Oh, my God! Jerry!
Call 911!

Welcome to movie night,
everyone.

Tonight, we're featuring
a classic James Bond film.

Who's playing 007?

Better be Connery,
the only real Bond.

Yeah, no Pierce Brosnan,
Mr. Fancy Pants.

I loved Pierce Brosnan.

Of course you did.

Oh, I remember
in Dr. No,

when Ursula Andress came out of
the ocean in that white bikini.

I switched teams
for a whole year.

Let's watch
that one.

I saw Roger Moore
in an airport once.

He ate three Cinnabons.It wasn't Roger Moore.

Don't tell me
who it was.

I'm telling you
who it wasn't.Oh...

Did you know that James Bond
was created by Ian Fleming,

who also wrote

Chitty Chitty
Bang Bang?

After I saw that film,
I named my cats

Chitty Chitty
and Bang Bang. [laughs]

One, two, three, eyes on me.

Before we start, I'd like to
introduce our newest resident...

You don't have to do that.Dr. Jerry Platt.

Ooh, a doctor.I'm a dentist.

Oh.

And I'm not really
a resident.

I'm just here temporarily.

[laughter]

I've heard that before.

I've said that before.

I'm only in my 50s.

You've lived hard.
I like that.

All right, everyone,
it's showtime.

Unwrap your hard candies now.

[candy wrappers crinkling]

[can opens]You want one?

No, I'll just have to take
a whiz halfway through it.

That's gonna happen anyway.

True.

Hey, why aren't you
at movie night?

Because everybody else is.

And that right there

is why you're my favorite
bitter old woman.

So you know,
I'm getting the hip surgery.

Norma, that is great.
What changed your mind?

Besides your constant nagging?

You're welcome.

Well, I was talking to Meredith,

and I realized how lucky I am.

I have a problem
that can be fixed.

This is the right decision,

and I'm-a be with you
every step of the way.

Thank you.

And if you want
to tell the doctor

he could do a little nip, tuck
while I'm under,

I'm not opposed.

Got it. I'll see you tomorrow.

So, Gina...

Is Drew a good kisser?

You take the safety bars
out of the showers,

this place is just
a high school.

Who told you?

Well, Drew told Harry,
Harry told Meredith,

she told Bette,
and Bette put it on her blog.

[groans]

So, how was the kiss?

I'm guessing
desperate but gentle.

Well, it...

it was a mistake...

I think?

Oh, I know
it was a mistake.
Why?

Because of the mustache? I bet
you I can get him to shave.

No, it's not that.

Though, he certainly could lose
that dead caterpillar.

You just broke up
with Eli.
So?

Honey, in the five years
I've known you,

you've never been single
for more than five minutes.

Well, I can't help it
if I'm in demand.

Gina, there've been so many
huge changes in your life.

Take a step back.

Hold off dating
for a while.

Figure out who you are,
what you want.

You mean be alone?

I don't know.

Think of it as
dating yourself.

Well...

at least I know
the sex will be good.

[glass shatters on screen]Could somebody turn it up?

Turn up your hearing aid.

I don't have
a hearing aid.

Then get one.

I hope this is the one where
he punches a shark in the face.

I hope it's the one
with Jill St. John.

You're a switch hitter.

I love it.

[gadgets whirring on screen]

Oh, a watch with a small
circular saw built in.

I wonder if that'll
come in handy.

[laughter]

Look, the kid's got jokes.

Kid? I like that.You want a beer?

I'm not supposed to drink
on my meds.

Join the club.

I guess we're bonding,

[British accent]:
James Bond-ing.

Give it back.
Aw.

[chuckles]Come on.

There you go.

You want to play bocce
with us tomorrow?

Uh, you'll have to teach me
the rules.

Oh, you just roll one ball
into another ball

whilst getting drunk.
Lesson over.

Psst. Did you know
that James Bond

was created
by Ian Fleming,

who also wrote
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

Yeah. You already
said that.

Oh. I-I-I thought
you didn't hear me.

You're-you're doing that
a lot lately.

Doing what?

Never mind.

[cars honking and
screeching on screen]

[gunfire on screen]

Where are you going?I-I-I'm-I'm tired.

[snoring softly]

What? Yeah,
I'm watching.

[snoring resumes]

[pen cap clatters]

♪

Hi.

Hi.

Thanks for letting me stop by.

I just need a minute.

Everything okay?

Well... [sighs] I'm not sure.

Tell me.

Okay. Um...

Here's the thing.

The other night,
when I kissed you...
I know.

You told me it was
"compwetely inapwopwiate."

[both chuckle]

No.

No. That's not it.

It's just...

My whole life,I've...

I've never really
been alone.

Huh.

I was married for 12 years,
and I was alone a lot.

Please let me finish.
Sorry.

I just...

don't know how
to exist without...

having a man
in my life, and...

I really don't knowwho I am

without a man
in my life.

And you need some time
to figure that out?

Yeah.

Like a week, or...?[laughs]

We'll see.
[chuckles] Okay.

Well, for what
it's worth,

I think you're being
real smart about this.

Thanks.

Well, you're here.

You want to make out?

[laughs] Aw.

Thanks, but no.

Okay, good night.

Night.

[cell phone ringing]

Gina?

GINA [over phone]:
Hey, um, there was one more
thing I wanted to ask.

Yeah?

Do you know a good dentist?

Ah.
All right,
you're up, kid.

Oh.You see that?

That's youth.
Bends over, doesn't even grunt.

Somebody
does yoga, huh?

Well, for a big man,
I've always been quite flexible.

Big? Is that
"woke" for fat?
Ooh.

Careful. I'll get you canceled.

Just throw the ball.All right.

SPENCER: Whoa.[Harry laughs]

All right.
That's my teammate
right there.

Tomorrow,
you're on my side.

Oh, to heck with that,
I want him on my team.

He's mine until
I say otherwise.

Gentlemen, there's enough of me
to go around.

Yeah, 'cause you're "big."Ooh.

[laughs]
Watch it, boomer.

[all laughing]

The new guy
gets the balls.

[laughs]

Sure.