BH90210 (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - The Pitch - full transcript

-Previously on BH90210...
-That's my dress!

This is the time
to do a reboot.

Wasn't Vegas enough punishment?

And that was without Shannen.

And I don't need
acting advice from you.

All you'll ever be
is Brandon Walsh.

We got a great relationship,
the perfect marriage.

Okay.

-Is that my phone?
-Mm-hmm.

Andrea Zuckerman
was my first crush.

Hi, Brian.



-Hi. -Do you know when Shay's
new album is gonna drop?

Any other questions...
that do not involve my wife?

Do you ever wonder

what our lives would be like
if we hadn't done that show?

Every single day.

I'm pregnant.

Kel, are you okay? I heard Tara
held you at gunpoint.

Are you on diet pills again?
We talked about this, Kel.

Hey, if you go to that frat
party, you're gonna get burned.

You have to quit

The New Evolution.
They're brainwashing you.

Students of West Beverly,

I've just received word
that Kelly Taylor was shot

in the parking lot at LAX.



It is shocking and sad,

and this one goes out to her.

Kelly's dead?

Kelly's dead!

Whatever, Mom.

Lots of people dream about
being back in high school.

You don't need
to be so dramatic.

This whole reboot idea
has me so freaked out.

Right, 'cause being on a show
where you get paid

a zillion dollars
is really that traumatic.

It was traumatic, and it wasn't
zillions of dollars,

so why don't you ease up
on the online shopping?

Well, I think it sounds fun.
I mean, how many people get

-a chance at a do-over?
-What is this?

I was gonna tell you about that.

Looks like a script.

There is, um,
there's an audition that I...

It's just a part that I think
I'm really right for.

We've talked about this, Kyler.

No acting.
Conversation's closed.

Okay, well,
can we reopen the conversation?

Sure. After your 18th birthday.

Well, then, can I please have
the script back?

-I'll trade you.
-What is that?

I don't know. Came this morning.

Have a good day.

Yep.

So he's actually
going through with it?

Mm-hmm.
That makes divorce number three.

-Up high.
-Hmm.

He wasn't good enough for you.

Ladies.

Welcome back to Fox.

We're excited
to hear your pitch.

It doesn't seem very smart

for me to leave my wallet
at a crime s...

So, why are we showing you this?

Certainly not
my proudest moment,

and I don't plan on committing
theft again, any time soon.

But this video right here got
five million views in 24 hours.

Everyone wants to see
the 90210 cast together,

even after all these years.

This is why we think

that now is the time
for a real reboot.

Well, I love this idea.

It's no secret, I'm a huge fan.

I had an entire set of the cast
dolls in middle school.

Still haven't forgiven my mother
for throwing them out

when I left for college.

I happen to have an entire set
in my storage.

I mean, it was the Christmas
gift of 1992, wasn't it, Jen?

Right up there with fanny packs.

We'd love to do
the show with you.

-You would?
-Really?

All of you together again...

it is too good to pass up.

Too good to be
true, I would have said.

How'd you get everyone on board?

Wh-When you say "everyone..."

You do have them all, right?

Well, we, uh...

They wouldn't have come in

with this pitch if they didn't.

So, how soon can you get
the whole cast in here?

-Soon.
-Ish. Uh, we're actually

seeing everyone later today.

Hi. Hi... oh.

I love you, too.
Thank you for all your support.

Okay, can you stop being
such a publicity whore?

Why? It's what I do best.

Look at this.
It's like a red carpet.

Yeah, with metal detectors.

This is the perfect timing

to pitch them
the reboot afterwards,

'cause they're already
feeling the love.

Jennie,
one with you and Jason? -Oh...

Ah, sure. Looking good, Jen.

You, too.
A little puffy, though.

You have Chinese food
last night?

Can't we just be
adults about this?

Mm. Can't you just take
your hand off my back

before I gouge
your eyes out? Thanks.

Good talk.

Jason,
can you sign this, please?

- Hey, Z. Hey.
- Hey, buddy.

-Talk to Stacey about
what happened yet? -Nope.

Not planning to. At least not
without a lawyer present.

- There you go.
- Thank you so much.

- Anyone else? Hey, buddy.
- Over here.

Jennie, Jennie, over here!

That is not the best picture

I've ever taken, but...

...I'll sign it anyway.

I love you, Brian.

I'll sign that one... hey, how
you doing? I'll sign this one...

-Gabrielle!
-Gabrielle!

Gab.

-What's her problem?
-Wow.

All right, guys, thank you.

Larceny,
destruction of property,

public drunkenness,
public urination.

That is disgusting.

Why would you assume
that was me?

You just love to
mark your territory, don't you?

Would you two just get a room?

Your behavior is deplorable.

You should all be very ashamed
of yourselves.

We agree, Your Honor.

Well, fortunately for all of us,

your defense attorney
was persuasive enough...

Your Honor?

I object.

...to get the D.A.

to drop most
of the criminal charges.

Oh.

Okay. Thank you.

Um, actually,
can I say something?

What is she doing?

Babe, clamp it.

I would like
to state for the record

that I acted alone,

and none of my fellow
codefendants

should have to answer
for my crime.

Well, very honorable of
you, but you can save

that stipulation
for the civil case

with the owner of the dress,
Mr. Johnson Deitz.

I'm really sorry, sir,

-that I stole your dress.
-Mr. Deitz

cannot comment, Ms. Spelling.

But he will be
seeking compensation

in the neighborhood of $100,000.

-Okay, now I object.
-A hundred grand?

You can't be serious.

- That dress is polyester.
- In addition,

Ms. Spelling, you will
personally return the dress

in question to Mr. Deitz...

- ...unlaundered.
- Ew...

Oh.

-May I approach the bench?
-No, you may not,

and I am out of patience.

So, for the remaining charge
of larceny,

the court sentences each of you

to 50 hours
of community service...

What?

...and we are adjourned here.

Thanks, Tori.

Ugh, that was humiliating.

Wait! Guys.

I, I just wanted
to thank you for being here.

I-I mean,
I know you had no choice

because you were named
in the suit...

--...but it
means a lot to me, and...

-I'd like to make it up to you.
-Oh, really? How?

By doing all the community
service work for us?

That would be a good start.

I was thinking more
like a business proposition.

We have a huge opportunity
right now,

and I want
to talk to you about it,

because we have a chance
at a do-over.

We could be great together.
I mean, we were great together.

Do you remember how great
we used to be together?

And we could be
great again together.

-Greatness can be ours.
-She wants us all

to do a 90210 reboot.

What she said.

Come on.

-You can't be serious.
-I am. And so is Fox.

This could be huge.

You saw all the fans up there
waiting for us.

And... there's money
to be made here.

This can be fun, too.

-Guys?
-Yeah.

Please, guys, I need this.

I-I stood up in court for you.

- I took a bullet for you.
- Oh, my God,

- you shot the gun.
- Yeah, I don't think so, T.

The last thing
I want to do is put on

a Peach Pit uniform again.

I'm getting a divorce.

I got to prove
my wife is cheating

to trigger the fidelity clause
in my prenup.

I'm not signing
any five-year contract

if she's gonna get half.

Bri?

You want to get back

- into acting, right?
- Totally.

You know what's super sexy?
A middle-aged white rapper.

I want to try for movies, Tor.

Gab?

We had fun in Vegas.

We're in the courthouse
because of Vegas.

Hmm.

And you'll never get Shannen.

-Good luck, Tori.
-See you in another 30 years.

Yeah...

we always knew it was
a long shot.

Come on.

Hey, babe.
What are you doing, exactly?

I am strategizing how to get
the rest of the cast

on board for this reboot.

Isn't this a little extreme?

Extreme is the $100,000
in damages

that we owe my creepster
number-one fan.

I have to make this reboot work.

T, they said no.

No never stopped my dad.

Do you know what happened
when he had this crazy idea

to pitch a show about
three sexy female detectives?

No. What happened?

They told him it wouldn't work,

and he refused
to take no for an answer.

Wait, Charlie's Angels?

Yep. 'Cause my dad
was persistent.

And sometimes he threatened
to buy the studio.

Obviously,
that can't happen here.

And clearly, money management...
not genetic.

He always found
a way to make it happen.

T, a show of this size
would be almost impossible

for you to manage.

I mean, it's like fighting a
forest fire with a garden hose.

Are you saying
that I can't do this?

No. I'm saying
that you're incredible.

And you're amazing, but maybe

producing isn't genetic.

Okay, there's one thing I like
about being pregnant.

That we get a baby
at the end of it?

Was gonna say eating carbs.

It's Tori.

She won't give up
on this stupid reboot idea.

What's wrong with that?
Reboots are hot right now.

Playing Brandon Walsh again is
the last thing I want to do.

All right, come on, babe,

let's think
of the possibilities here.

Brandon and Kelly back together.

-People would eat it up.
-Mm.

Plus, a steady acting gig
could be perfect.

For all of us.

You okay?

Yeah, just, um... I just got
a little nauseous.

I'm gonna...
I need some fresh air, okay?

All right.

Are you crazy?

I told you
you can't just come here.

And you can't just ignore
my calls; we need to talk.

-I have nothing to say to you.
-Maybe not.

But you do have
something I want.

You're a publicist,
you have connections.

Do one thing for me,
and your little secret

stays a secret.

Don't ever come back here again.

Oh.

You scared the crap
out of me, Mom.

Good. Your school called.

Tell me you didn't go
on that audition.

I did, and I booked it.

"Drunk cheerleader."

It's really hard
to play a good drunk,

and I nailed it.

Oh, please, I could
do that in my sleep.

-This isn't about you.
-No.

-It's about you and how
grounded you are. -Mom!

I said no acting.

Not while you're under my roof.

I feel you, Peanut.

It's hard enough to be punished
for being who you are,

but for being who you aren't...

But you're strong.
You'll get through this.

Now come on over here,
give me some of that love.

That was great, Brian.

Nah, that blew.

I didn't connect
to the comedy at all.

I mean, is this a comedy
or is it a drama?

This almost reads
like it doesn't really know

what it is.

I'll share your thoughts
with the writer.

No, no, no, don't...

I don't...
I don't want to be rude,

I just...

Just being rude.

So this is going great.

-Can I do it again?
-We're good.

All right. Thank you
for having me in.

Thank you.

How soon could you be
in Atlanta?

Welcome to the cast.

What?

Looking forward
to working with you.

Are you sure?

Say hi to Shay.

Can't wait to see
what she comes up with.

I will.
Thank you.

Lucky man.

Not one single person
has called me back.

I am officially
the worst producer

-in the entire world.
-Mm.

Well, at least you're not
the worst mother

-in the entire world,
'cause that's my title. -Trust me,

if they're mad at you,
you're doing something right.

I took away Emma's tablet for,
like, one hour last week.

She's still giving me 'tude.

Oh, shoot, that reminds me.

Okay...

I have to change Declan's tutor

from Monday to Friday.

And that means I can put
Emma's karate...

Okay, field trip. Shoot.

Sign the field trip form.

Signed, dated, done.

That's impressive.

You know what would be
impressive?

Getting one phone call back.
Super impressive?

Getting the entire cast
to sign on.

But no, not one call.
Producer fail.

Okay, you know what,
you've got to stop doing that.

-What? What? Cooking?
-No.

Being so hard on yourself.

Uh, look what you do.

You keep
six little people alive.

That's not easy.

No, it's not easy.

In fact, most days it is like

putting out a forest fire
with a garden hose.

-I got this.
-What?

Charlie just needs some angels.

Right after I change
this poopy diaper.

-BRB.
-Have fun with that.

I know you want to distance
yourself from this character,

and I respect that.

Why don't you have
a membership here?

I've been on the waiting list
for, like, two years.

-Ah. -I also know you want
to focus on directing.

Again, I respect that.

You know, as a founding member,

I could move you up
on that list.

Can you front my dues?

Anyway, this is a big TV pilot,

so a directing gig...
pretty sweet.

What, are you saying,
if I sign on to the project,

I could direct the pilot?

If you could,
would you reconsider?

Well, it would definitely
move the needle.

I can talk to the network.

I like the sound of that.

Aw, congratulations. Oh...

-Support her head.
Support her head. -Hey, Gab,

I've held plenty of babies.

I'm gonna be holding
my own soon enough.

You okay?

That stupid actor I punched...

he's costing me jobs.

Apparently, I'm not even allowed
to direct myself anymore.

Wait, you want to do
the reboot now?

If I can direct the pilot, sure.

It'd be good for me,
good for my family.

Oh, I'm not gonna offer.
You got to ask... nicely.

All right.

Gab, can you please
pull some strings

with the Actors Guild?

I really need that little
teenage douchebag

to drop his complaint.

I said nicely.

I said please.

I don't pull strings.

But I do set up mediations.

Love you.

I know you do.

Okay, you just better never
touch another actor again,

or I will beat the crap
out of you.

Yeah, I know.

Sorry to lay
all my problems on you

when you have so much
to be happy for.

It's all right,
I got my own troubles...

Oh, my God, I'm kind of caught
in the middle of something

since Vegas myself.

Oh, my God, did Jennie tell you?

Tell me what?

Jay, did you sleep
with Jennie in Vegas?

Well, we didn't exactly sleep.

Look, it was a one-time thing.

It was a drunken mistake.

I guess Vegas was made
for those.

Wha...?
Did you do something in Vegas?

-Mm...
-What did you do?

I, uh... I kissed someone who...

who was a woman.

Oh... Wow.

That's new.

Well, Jay, it's not exactly
new feelings.

Well, I think that's great.

But what made you, you know,

this time?

Like, why now?

Just holding her.

Wanting her to be
her most authentic self

and realizing what kind
of hypocrite would I be

if-if I didn't do that myself?

Jay, I have been totally
freaking out.

The one person who I would
normally talk to this about

is the one person who's most
likely to be hurt by this.

All right, I know
we've been here all day,

but I'm a perfectionist,
so one more time from the top.

- And keep it sexy.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Go. I like this.

Now sexy. Sexy.

Yes.

Here's our part, turn.

Pop, pop, pop. Yes!

So good.

-Shay.
-Feel it...

Hey, Bri.

Did you promise the producers
of the movie a song

if they hired me?

Girls, take five real quick.

You're not excited that we're
gonna be in a movie together?

Just answer the question, Shay.

I answered the question, Bri.

You wanted to be in the movie,
and they wanted my song.

What's the big deal?

So they're doing you a favor
by hiring me.

No, it's not that blatant.

Come on, you look good.
You're a good actor.

They probably were gonna
hire you anyway.

Come on, you're sexy.

-They wanted you. What is...?
-Stop it. Stop. Stop it.

I don't want to do this
right now.

Bri, how is it that
I did a good thing,

and now all of a sudden you're
looking at it as a bad thing?

If I look like a chump
because I can't get a job

without my wife helping,
that is a bad thing, Shay.

Bri...

-Can we talk about this, please?
-We're done talking.

I have to go pick up
the girls now.

Just do your thing.

I'm sorry, girls.
Let's just go from the top.

All right.
Five, six, seven, eight.

Well, I'm glad this
is working out, Jay.

I think it's kind of flattering
that the kid's condition

for dropping the complaint
is having you as a guest star

-on his show.
-Yeah, real flattering.

Okay,

just like we rehearsed.

Rolling.

And... action.

Earth is an even sadder planet
if you are the last line

of defense.

My defense is the best offense.

-Whew!
-Cut. Perfect.

And scene.

Hey, Jay, are you okay?

We need a medic over here.

Come on, we're gonna have
to go to the hospital.

Ooh, yeah.

You have to go to the doctor.

As soon as I get the feeling
back in my coconuts.

At least he dropped
the complaint, huh?

Guy's clearly got some issues.
I guess he needed

to work 'em out
through his character, huh?

That's gonna leave a mark.
Oh, yeah.

Yes.

So I've been
thinking about the reboot,

-and if I'm gonna do it...
-Yes!

-I said "if."
-Okay.

I'd want to do things
differently.

All right, well, totally.

I mean, Andrea doesn't
have to be the frumpy nerd

she was back then.

I'm not talking about looks.

You know, Tori,
I'm talking about, like,

inclusion and diversity.

I don't know if you know,
but back in the '90s,

I wasn't even allowed to touch

my African American
TV boyfriend.

I know.
I know things have changed,

but you know what,
they haven't changed enough.

We can do better.
We need to do better.

Okay. So what's happening
with Andrea?

I don't know.
I was thinking maybe...

maybe Andrea could be
exploring her sexuality.

Andrea's gay?

No, she's exploring
her sexuality.

She's figuring it out.

I mean, we could cast queer,
we could do it right.

I couldn't agree more. I think
we should totally do this.

Yeah?

-Oh, Tori, yay.
-Yeah.

-Yay!
-Okay.

-Good idea.
-Good, all right, good.

I'm glad, 'cause that's
what I think will work.

Yeah, so I hired a tech firm.

They set up some cameras
around the house

so I can catch her cheating.

-I needed that for the divorce.
-And you got it?

Oh, I got it.

In the kitchen,
the living room, the bedroom,

my McLaren, which is being
detailed as we speak.

I am so sorry.

If she's gonna betray me
after I was so good to her,

after helping her build a brand

and grow a business,
it's on her. I'm moving on.

Talk to me about this reboot.

Really? Okay.

We need you.

I know. So here's the deal, Tor,

now that I no longer have
to focus on my backstabbing,

cheating wife's businesses,
I can focus on my own.

-Okay, what do you want?
-You.

Our names on a line
of health and beauty products.

Ooh, our faces on the products.

Not our faces, our names.

The product has to be the star.

NexGen by Ian and Tori.

Oh, I don't love that.

-Do you want me to be a
part of this reboot? -Yes.

Fall in love with it.

So, congratulations
on the movie.

We're gonna work
around your schedule.

Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm not doing
the movie anymore.

Why?

They only wanted Shay.
They didn't really want me.

That's why you should do it.

Show them they're wrong.

Yeah, but are they?
I mean, I don't know.

I've been out of the game
for a while.

Maybe I just...
maybe I don't have it anymore.

At least Shay
is trying to help you.

I feel like the only thing Nate
thinks I can produce are babies.

Well, Nate's crazy.

You are a force of nature.

You, you see what you want
and you-you get it.

It's, it's really inspiring.

Well, what I want
right now is you.

In the reboot. What I want...

I want you in the reboot.

Gabby's in. Brian's in.

Oh, we are so close.

I don't know how
to tell you this.

I'm out.

-No.
-Yeah.

Wait, you're bailing on me?
You're not gonna do the reboot?

Kyler filed for emancipation
from me.

My own daughter wants a divorce.

-What?
-Yeah.

I don't want this for her.

I want her to have
a normal life.

I don't want her growing up
in a fishbowl like I did.

-What are you gonna do?
-I don't know!

I don't even know
how to have a normal life.

I'm not equipped for this.

I can't even keep
a marriage together.

I just know that I want her
to finish school.

I want her to have
all those things,

go to prom, date real guys,
not actor guys.

--I don't know how to fix
it, but I have to.

And if that means
staying home with her

and not being on set with you
for 14 hours a day,

then that's what
I'm gonna have to do.

I respect that.

You do?
Wait, what, you're not mad?

Oh, I am furious,

but only because I can't imagine

doing this without you.

You are gonna be great.
Look what you've already done.

Now stop doubting yourself.

While you're at it,
stop playing with dolls.

So you came to L.A. and you
didn't even bother visiting me.

- That's insulting.
- I know.

I'm so sorry, but duty calls.

Well, I need my secret
best friend.

-Thank you for picking up.
-Aw.

You know that I love you, Bri.

What's going on? Talk to me.

Same thing I-I left
on your voice mail.

It's the Shay thing?

-Yeah.
-Hi.

Hey!

Stop! Okay, so

you want my advice? Here it is.
You got to let it go.

I can't let it go.
She deceived me.

No, she did not.
She was just trying to help you.

This is not a reflection
on her lack of faith in you.

That's your own
insecurity talking.

You know what's annoying?

The fact that you know me
as well as you do.

Let me give you
an analogy real quick.

I use decoys

to attract mates
for my rescues.

-Now, is that deceptive?
-Yes.

Yes, it is, but is it also
for the greater good?

- Yes, it is.
- Endangered birds

deserve to continue
their species,

just like you deserve
to continue your career.

Thank you for your wisdom.

-Oh, Tori's trying to reach you.
-Me?

I don't have time
for that right now.

Baby, I have got to go
because I've got

this sea lion who's not exactly
cooperating right now,

and he's got all these
gill nets around.

-May the Force be with you.
-All right. Bye.

Good job. Go.

What are you doing here?

How do you know where I live?

-Star maps.
-What do you want?

Tori said
you're not doing the reboot.

I just came over to say
I hope it's not because of me.

You're not that important,
Jason.

You are very mean to me.

Okay, it's...
because of my daughter.

She okay?

No, she wants to be an actor.

Oh, no.

Exactly, yeah.
I got to put an end to that.

Well, if she's anything
like we were at that age,

she's gonna find a way to do it,
whether you're on board or not.

Okay, that's very reassuring.
Thank you.

Oh, I'm just saying,

do you want her
to think of you as someone

who supported her dreams
or someone who stood in her way?

I want her not to repeat
my mistakes.

-She won't.
-You don't know that.

-Sure, I do.
-How?

'Cause she's got you
for a mother.

Hey.

I'm in.

Really? Jen...

On one condition.
Kyler gets to be on the show.

If she wants to act,
I'm gonna have it be by my side.

Keep her from doing
all the stupid stuff we did.

Yes, I think it's a great idea!

Actually,
Jason deserves the credit.

Jason?

Jason Priestley?
Since when do you talk to him?

-Are we gonna work or what?
-Go.

I was thinking,
you're such a neat freak,

you might actually
get off on this.

Hmm, if only you would fit
in one of these bags.

Oh, look,

a hypodermic needle
in a public park. How sweet.

Let me get that for you.

-Thank you.
-Don't mention it.

Oh, great, now we're
thanking each other

for picking up
hypodermic needles.

Yeah, I was thanking you
for the parenting advice.

It was surprisingly useful.

Well, I'm glad,

because I'm gonna ask you
to return the favor soon.

Camille's pregnant.

Seriously?

Wow.

-"Wow"?
-Uh...

I'm sorry. I mean, congrats.

Yeah, I didn't find out
till after Vegas.

Guys.

I just, uh, want to take this
opportunity and say thank you.

I know it hasn't been easy...

No, actually,
it's been disgusting.

Oh, is that a turkey carcass?

Yeah, I'm sure it is, Brian.

Griffith Park is overrun
with wild turkeys.

We're the turkeys
for wearing these jumpsuits.

You know what? This punishment
does not fit the crime.

Okay. Fine.
Hate me for Vegas.

But come on, you guys.

Aren't you a little excited
to do the reboot?

I am.
I'm so happy everyone signed on.

- I like to consider myself loosely
attached. - Okay. That's fine.

But I do think we should
all talk before we go to Fox.

We really need
an updated version.

-90210 needs a face-lift.
-I know I need a face-lift.

Like, Gab and I were talking.

Maybe Andrea could be
exploring her sexuality.

What, are you guys, like,
you're talking story already?

Uh... no, it-it's
not what I meant.

- Al-Although we did hire a writer.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't you think I should
sit down with this writer?

I mean, I am the director.

What do you mean, the director?
What... who made that decision?

Me. I... I made that decision.

- Because I'm the producer.
- Okay, Ms. Producer,

if people have demands,
I have one, too.

I need a brand relaunch.

Natural integration of my solo
entrepreneurial efforts.

Okay, are you speaking English?

Product placement.

Whoa, whoa, hold on.

I'm not letting you turn my show
into a commercial.

Excuse me.
What are you talking about

your show for?
Since when did this become

-your show? -When did any of
this become your commercial?

Okay, so, is that the way
it's gonna be?

'Cause if it is, then I'm out.

Wait a minute.
How can you be out?

- 'Cause I'm out.
- This is not your show.

You were never in
in the first place.

-Guys, guys, listen, guys. -You've
got to be in before you can get out.

Stop! Stop!

You guys.

Listen. We all agreed
to do this for a reason.

If there's something
that's important

to you, you can have it. Jen,

- she wants her daughter cast in the show.
- What?

Nepotism, Jen?
Didn't you learn enough lessons

from Tori being
on her dad's show?

I'm right here.
Jay's directing.

-Gab's bi.
-Andrea's bi.

Z? You want product placement?
It's all yours.

- Bri, what do you want? Anything.
- If we did this show

for ten years, and we'll
possibly do it for another ten,

we should all be equal partners.

-Creatively. Everything.
-Agreed.

We're all a team.

But do you know what, you guys?

If you guys all get something,
I want something, too.

Oh, boy, here it comes.

- Group therapy.
- What's that?

- Just say it now.
- Group therapy?

-Group therapy?
Are you kidding me? -No...

-N-N-Not me, I'm not...
-I don't need that.

If there's anything...
hey-hey-hey-hey.

If there's anything this group
needs, it's...

- Medication.
- Therapy.

- We do need medication.
- Oh, my God.

How much can one person have?

It's a nonnegotiable, guys.

What do you mean
it's a non-negotiable?

-That's not true.
-It's a non-nego... you... look at us!

Here we go.
Come on, guys.

Oh, it's a...
it's a photo shoot now?

-Hey.
-Here we are.

Hey, guys, game time.

-Nice to see you.
-Good to see you. -How are you?

-Good to see you. -Hi. -Hi.

-Very nice to see you.
-Good to see you.

-Hi.
-Hi. Thank you.

- Hi.
- Shannen's delayed

-in Africa.
-Well, this is a real thrill.

Seeing the whole gang
back together again.

Well, it's a thrill
for all of us, too.

Uh, as a token of our
appreciation, we brought you

- a little gift.
- Thank you.

That is amazing.

Before we get started,
we would like to introduce you

to a new executive who will be
running the show day-to-day.

In fact, you all know her.

I'm sure you all remember?

Holy Emily Valentine.

I definitely remember you.

Maybe therapy wasn't a bad idea.

So hello, everyone.

It's so great to see all of you.

And thank you so much
for showering after that whole

garbage pickup thing.

And the pictures at TMZ,
awesome.

Way to rock that vest, Tori.

Oh, thanks.

And I think therapy
is a great idea.

I think each and every one
of you should explore

your narcissism, your neuroses,

your pathological
self-absorption.

Embrace it. It's gonna
make great television.

Um... thank you?

This is gonna be
so... much... fun.

What do you want
to talk about, Mom?

When you said you wanted
to get into acting,

I couldn't really separate
my experience

from what yours could be.

-I got scared.
-Of what?

Of how it could affect you.

Now and 20 years from now.

Look, I know you think
you're ready for this,

but the reason
for that is because

you have no idea
what you're getting into.

-Well, Mom, I...
-And the reason

for that is because
I shielded you.

I don't want to be the person

that stands in the way
of your dreams.

Are these
the emancipation papers?

Mm, no.
I shredded those.

This is a contract
for a recurring role

-on the 90210 reboot.
-What? Really?

-Mm.
-But... I thought you said...

If I'm going to protect you,

I've got to prepare you,
so that means I'm gonna tell you

all about how it was for me.

Every last gory detail.

And if, after that,
you still want to do this,

then we'll sign the papers.
We'll do it together.

Deal.

So this talk, how long you
thinking, like, 15 minutes?

Couple hours?

-Could be days.
-Okay.

So buckle up, baby.

Here's to 30 years.

-Mm.
-30 years?

Are we that old?

Not me, just you.

Here's to Friday date nights.

Every one better than the last.

-Mm.
-What's the matter?

Oh... this.

You know me so well.

This is exactly what I needed.

I would be...

I'd be so lost without you.

Well, then, it's a good thing
I'm not going anywhere.

I want to tell you something.

-It's about the reboot.
-Mm.

I've decided to do it.

Really?

Part of my agreeing to do it

is having Andrea
explore her sexuality.

It's an important story
for me to tell.

I think that's great.
It's high time.

Good for you.

I want to tell you why

it is so important to me.

Okay, I stalked you, but
I couldn't wait to talk to you.

Listen... you were right.

I am so sorry about overstepping
with your audition.

Please don't be mad at me.

I'm not mad at you.

I've been, I've been
thinking about it,

and, uh, you were just
trying to help.

-I'm sorry.
-I was,

but I'm gonna stay in my lane
from now on.

-You got a lot going on.
-Yeah.

So, are you excited
for the reboot?

Yeah. Yeah. I-I mean
it's gonna be a, a big change,

you know, I'm not,
not gonna be around as much

as I'm used to.

Might have to hire
my own assistant.

As long as you don't try
to take one of mine.

--Never.
I wouldn't even think about

poaching one of your assistants.

Call my agent
and have him hook me up.

I'm sorry.

-I love you.
-I love you.

It's really coming together.

We got the cast on board.

Jason's meeting
with the writer tomorrow.

The network's excited.

And... I know you think
I can't do this, but...

I actually know I can.

And it has n...

It has nothing to do
with the money.

It's because I'm passionate
about it.

And I'd just...

I'd really like you
to support me on this.

And I know it's not
gonna be easy.

Babe?

Really, Tori?

How much food can one woman
possibly eat?

Hey, Doc.
What's the good news?

-Well, your set injury caused no permanent
damage. -Yeah, that is good news.

-But I did discover a preexisting
fertility issue. -What?

Yeah, conceiving children
is possible,

but it will require significant
medical intervention.

Fertility issue?
What are you talking about?

-Jason.
-What?

Jack Carlisle.
Great to meet you.

I can't explain how excited I am

to be writing the pilot
for the reboot.

-What's that now?
-The reboot.

A friend of mine
reached out to the network,

who put me in touch
with Tori Spelling.

I'm the new writer.

Oh.
Uh, take a seat.

Doc, I'm gonna have
to call you back.

-You want a drink?
-Yeah, I'd love one.