BH90210 (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Reunion - full transcript
Hey. Mr. and Mrs. Silver!
- Grab a booth.
- Thanks.
Uh, whoa, what are you doing?
- I'm not your waitress.
- Yeah, I told you
when we bought this place, Kel,
sometimes you got to
get your hands dirty.
Do you remember when we used
to make out to this song
- underneath the bleachers?
- I do. I do.
Why do you think I sampled
it for that Jay-Z track?
Okay. Oh, hi.
Here you go.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Watch out, buddy.
- I love it when we're all together.
- Oh, I don't know about that one.
- Hmm.
No, I-I'd like to exchange this egg.
You want to exchange an egg?
♪ And I want ya to know I do it ♪
♪ All 4 love... ♪
Oh, wait, Brenda wanted me
to order her a slice of pie.
I thought Brenda was in London.
Brenda?
Tori, will you shut up!
- We're on an airplane.
- Sorry.
Wait. It's not cheating
if you dream of kissing
your ex-boyfriend, right?
Uh, no.
Just like it's not murder if you dream
- about killing your ex-husband.
- Vegas!
Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!
- What is happening?
- Vegas!
Vegas! Vegas!
Oh, Lord.
Tell me you're not Instagramming that.
Us on our way to our 90210 30th reunion,
and these drunk yahoos
in the back seat? Insta-gold.
Smile.
- You are out of control.
- No.
What I'm out of is money.
This is gonna help.
All these bills.
$842 for Mommy and Me yoga?
Great. I can't do that anymore.
Namaste here.
- Babe, can we talk about this later?
- Oh.
Right. Save it for when
the cameras are rolling.
- Okay.
- That's not what I meant.
Hmm.
All right, guys, let's wrap it up.
I-I thought we were ready to go.
- Wait, no, no, no.
- Why are you leaving?
Guys, excuse me. What's happening?
The show just got canceled.
You've milked your
brand from every angle.
The network says there's no more story.
No more story? Can you believe that?
Stuff just keeps happening to me.
And just when I think
things are slowing down,
boom, I fall on a hibachi.
Oh, I love that about you.
So that's why I have a
meeting set up next week.
I'm gonna sell the
network on another season
of Tori and Nate: Spelling the Beans.
Well, I thought it got canceled.
Yeah, but I need that paycheck.
Mama's got six kids.
Do you know how much college
bribery money I'm gonna need?
Can't Nate get a job?
Hopefully.
He has an audition for an
NHL announcer tomorrow.
I'm just hoping his voice is as good
as his slap shot used to be.
But at least this reunion's gonna
cover our bills for the month.
Excuse me.
Why is there no room on this plane?
It's called coach.
- What is it called?
- Coach.
- Hi, babe.
- Hey.
I don't mean to bug you but
- don't forget that Bryce has that...
- That play date tomorrow, I know.
I got it. Brian, baby,
what are you worried about?
Focus on you this weekend.
It is your time to shine.
Shay.
Five platinum records, nine Grammys,
and nominated for three awards tonight.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- How do you do it?
Oh, my goodness, I couldn't do it
without my incredible husband Brian.
He is my rock.
The best dad on the planet, all of that.
I got this.
Focus on you, babe.
This weekend is all about you.
Please. It's a 90210 event.
You know it's gonna be a
thunderdome of girl drama.
You're not gonna be there by yourself.
Who else is going with you?
Ian's going for sure.
Loves a good convention.
Gives him a chance to meet his fans
and build his brand.
Okay, Ian, honey, I'm posting
that you're selling our book
at the 90210 reunion.
Oh, good. You know what, don't forget
#SweatTogetherGetTogether.
Oh, yes, that's great.
I can't believe I have to do
this without you by my side.
I just thought of a new class:
Fit Fun Flirty Dirty.
How can one person be so smart,
creative, and beautiful
all at the same time?
Aw...
Can't wait to show you off in Vegas.
Don't hate me, but... I can't come.
What? Hold on.
- What? Why not?
- Because...
I'm auditioning for The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Shut the front door.
Baby!
Don't get too crazy in Vegas.
Don't worry, Gabby's coming.
Oh... Oh, honey, I miss her so much.
Three days old and I leave her.
What was I thinking?
Congratulations, Grandma.
I want to talk to you
about that "G" word.
Yeah.
This is going a little bit fast for me.
So if you don't mind...
I, at least for now,
would like her to call me Gabby.
Yeah, Gabby might be a little confusing
for her because...
meet Gabrielle.
You named her after me?
Oh, thanks, I got to go.
It's the office. Uh, Gabrielle here.
Hey, it's John.
Need you to be impartial.
Impartial? Of course I can be impartial.
That's my duty as president of
the Actors Guild of America.
I got to protect actors
when they make a complaint.
What's going on?
Are you kidding?
Who's the director?
- Guess who.
- Oh...
I'm gonna kill him.
I can't believe you're
making me do this.
Jason, it's my job as your publicist.
- You're my wife.
- Not right now.
This is business.
And you did this to yourself.
Cut it.
Okay, guys, that's a cut.
- Cutting!
- Chaz, buddy,
can you dig a little deeper?
I mean, I-I need you
to make the audience
feel your regret when
you tell Cassidy...
I-I was saving the city.
I-I don't give a crap about Cassidy.
And I don't need acting advice from you.
Just go stand on your mark.
Bro, you were a pinup boy
for horny teenage girls.
Okay, just get over yourself.
All you'll ever be is Brandon Walsh.
No one's gonna want to
finance the indie film
of a rage-filled director who
punches out his lead actors.
Use this reunion as a
chance to remind people
how much they love Jason Priestley.
America's golden boy.
Sexy Brandon Walsh.
Think you can do that for me?
Ladies and gentlemen,
- welcome to Las Vegas.
- Oh, thank you.
Ow.
Hey, uh, listen.
Don't say anything about Mark, okay?
I don't need everybody knowing about
failed marriage number three.
I can already hear the clickbait.
"From America's Sweetheart
to Sad Spinster."
Oh, stop, you're gorgeous.
He's an idiot for leaving you.
What the hell was he thinking?
What the hell was I thinking?!
Mom, the drama.
Can't you just throw his
stuff in the garbage?
Yeah, but it's not nearly as satisfying.
Okay.
He said I'm too aggressive.
Makes me want to bash his brains in.
I'm just... I'm not in the right space
to be around all these people.
It's gonna be fine.
Silver lining: Shannen won't be there.
But Jason will.
- I love Jason.
- Of course.
He's America's golden boy.
Ugh, whatever.
Watch your step, please.
Ah, let's go.
Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!
Vegas!
$40 a T-shirt, and we don't see a dime.
No wonder I can't pay my rent.
Ha. Well, we made it.
May I help you?
Yep. Uh, we're checking in
for the reunion panel.
Name?
Jennie. Garth.
Jennie Garth.
Um, I-I'm on the show
that's having the big reunion party.
Kelly Taylor?
So, is the reservation
under Garth or-or Taylor?
I... mm-mm.
My name is Jennie Garth.
I play Kelly Taylor...
... on the show.
- Oh, that's you.
- Yeah.
Oh, you look so much older than her.
Um, if I could just see some I.D.,
I could figure out which name
the reservation is under.
He wants to see my I.D.
Yeah, here's her I.D. right here. Sorry.
She has low blood sugar.
- Okay.
- Come here.
C-Can I talk to you for a second?
Oh, I'm gonna destroy this
place on Trip Advisor.
I get that you're edgy.
I feel edgy, too.
In fact, I didn't think I
was gonna be this nervous.
I am so... nervous.
I haven't seen Brian in almost 20 years.
I'm kind of freaking out a little bit.
Okay, he's married, you're married.
You guys both have kids.
And I understand that,
but we still have a history.
I lost my virginity to him.
On the show.
Life imitates art, remember?
Oh, right. Yeah, okay, just breathe.
Okay.
I feel like I'm sweating so bad.
Do I smell?
Oh, no. Jen, I stink.
- I didn't want to say anything.
- Okay, I got to go to the room.
I'm gonna freshen up and...
Nope, he's right there.
Oh, my God.
- Uh, I'm gonna slip out.
- Oh.
Oh, there's Jason.
- Oh, God, Ian and Gabby.
- Oops.
Yeah!
Well...
this is weird.
Oh, come on, we're all thinking it.
I like that the anniversary
brought us together.
I can't believe that we are all here.
I wish that were true.
Well, it's so great to see all you guys.
Come here, you.
Oh, awesome. The girls.
Give me some of that.
I want some of that.
My wife said Shay killed
it on the red carpet.
Yeah, she is a red carpet assassin.
- Hi, Gab.
- Hey, Gab.
- Hey.
- How are you?
So, I, uh...
I had to hear about this from the guild?
Yeah, it's, um... it's my dialing hand.
Mm, does it hurt?
Yeah.
- Good.
- Oh!
- Really?
- So how's... Jack?
- Mark.
- Mark! How's Mark?
- He's... fine.
- Good.
- Good. Thanks.
- Happy to hear that. So great.
Jen.
You know I'm not a hugger.
So later maybe?
- No.
- No?
Hey, Tor.
Hey!
Hi. Hmm.
Did you see that?
- Yeah.
- After 20 years, "Hey, Tor,"
two words... that's all I get?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, it's them!
Oh, it's go time. Come on!
At least she's got my shirt on.
Oh, boy.
All right.
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm...
I'm good, I'm fine. I'm just a...
little stressed, that's all.
I haven't done this in, uh...
in 20-plus years, so it's...
I just don't want to
say something stupid,
look like an idiot.
You remember our little
good luck ritual?
Come on. You remember.
The one before big scenes,
we got nervous, we would do?
This one?
That totally works.
It doesn't look very cool, but it works.
Little secret?
I originally started doing that
to do a breath check
before our kissing scenes.
Nice.
Thank you.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- You got this.
Please find your seats.
The event is about to begin.
Here we go.
Okay, showtime. Let's do it.
Is she gonna do that
teacher clap the whole time?
So, all those make-out scenes...
Did any of the romance spill off camera?
Um...
- there was a little spillage probably.
- Okay.
Yeah, but we don't kiss and tell.
Now you're just teasing us.
Let's turn this over to the audience.
Any questions?
Yeah. Right over there. Go ahead.
Andrea Zuckerman was my favorite
character on TV in the '90s.
What did you like most
about playing Andrea?
I... You know what? Andrea was strong
and intelligent,
and she stayed true to herself,
so I... I guess I am trying
to aspire to that in
my own life, as well.
- Aw...
- Thank you.
Next question.
Hi, Brian.
- Hi.
- Um, I was just wondering.
Do you know when Shay's
new album is gonna drop?
Um, I-I try not to get
involved in her music career,
but I am her number one fan.
Aw...
Any other questions?
That do not involve my wife?
Thought so.
Which one of you guys was
least like your character on 90210?
Oh, that kid over there. Right there.
Me?!
Yes, you.
Brandon Walsh was squeaky clean,
but this guy, I mean...
he's a little hotheaded.
Oh, right.
That. Okay, yes, I might have
lost my temper on set, I'll admit it.
Violence is never the answer,
but suffice it to say,
I always stick up for the little guy.
Yeah, himself.
Question for Brian.
Uh, I've been watching
the show with my mother.
Your character was always
kind of an outsider.
Yes.
Were you that way in real life?
Yes.
Still am. Still am.
I have a wife and three daughters,
so the chances are I'm-I'm
gonna be an outsider
- for, uh, quite some time.
- Oh.
You know, I think Brian would
agree that being married
to a brilliant woman is really exciting.
I thank my lucky stars every day
that I found my soul mate Stacey.
She's developed this brand
that is just incredible.
In fact, people, she's just
come out with a book.
She and I.
If you haven't seen it,
you really all need to pick it up.
#SweatTogetherGetTogether.
Hi. My question's for Jennie.
Um, whose romantic life
has had more ups and downs...
Yours or Kelly's?
Well... we've both been burned.
And I just want to say...
I'm so sorry to hear
about you and your husband.
- Excuse me?
- I just heard
on TMZ that he's filing for divorce?
You know what? Um,
Jen's a really private person,
and we should all respect that.
But me... I'm an open book,
so you guys can ask
me whatever you want.
I just want to ask a question
I think we all want to know.
Do any of you know what the
heck Shannen's up to these days?
Have you talked to her?
I haven't spoke to her in a while.
- No, me neither.
- Nope. No.
All right, we are in luck
because, as we speak,
a very special person is
live-streaming on Instagram.
Should we check in?
It's Shannen!
Surprise.
And so one of our rangers
found this little guy.
Aw...
He was all alone, starving,
his mother killed by poachers.
But never fear, you guys,
'cause he's here with me now,
and when he's ready,
we're gonna release him
back out into the wild.
Aw!
Donations really help.
You can send those to:
That's "paw"... P-A-W.
- Aw!
- I thank you.
The tigers thank you.
Bye.
Bye, guys, love you.
Bye.
Well, that was a surprise.
Hmm. What? That Shannen's
moved on with her life
and is saving the world,
or that my marriage ended?
'Cause either way... whoo-hoo!
I feel like a fool.
We need to change our flight.
I can't stay here tonight.
Uh, I-I have a... plane.
- Oh, yeah.
- It'll-it'll be ready to go
in, like, four hours.
Fully-stocked bar, tons of seats.
Great.
But I can't wait four hours for a drink.
Oh, I know, isn't she perfect?
Look at her chin.
Between complete adoration
and then utter shock that
I'm a grandmother, okay?
Kill me now 'cause I cannot
believe I'm a grandma.
- I can't believe you're a grandma.
- I know, me either.
Well, you did it the right way,
'cause you had your kids early
and now you can enjoy life.
Me... I did it the opposite way.
Here's my youngest three.
Oh, Tori.
What about you, Jay...
you and Camille gonna have a family?
Uh, we tried a while ago,
but work got crazy,
and we decided not to have kids.
Guess my indie film
will have to be my baby.
No dirty diapers but
lots of whiny actors.
I feel for you, Jay.
I can't wait to have kids with Stacey.
She's just younger, and she wants
to develop her career first.
And marriage is compromise, right?
But I'm real proud of her
for leading with this.
Check this out. Ka-pow-pow! Bam!
- Oh.
- Right?
Hey, if you got it, flaunt it.
It doesn't bother you at all
to have your wife up
on a giant billboard
with all that spray-tanned flesh?
Look, we got a great
relationship, all right?
It's like the perfect marriage.
I always know she's coming home
to me, so what's the big deal?
Yeah, I'm gonna need
another one of these.
Hey, cut it out.
Why don't you come in?
Hmm, maybe.
Why don't you make me?
- You should.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- She's with me.
- No, I'm not.
- Can I take you for a second?
- Girl talk.
- I'll be right back.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna have a roll in the
hay with that hot pig farmer.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
They're a special breed of heritage pigs
that he raises humanely.
It's a premium product.
- But you're a vegan.
- Mm.
- Not today.
- Okay,
look, just come hang out with us,
we'll have another drink.
- Hey, look at me.
- Yeah.
Ian Ziering has, like,
the perfect marriage.
I'm 0 for 3. I need to,
at the very least,
know that I can get a
pig farmer if I want to.
- Okay?
- Wait...
Okay.
- I'm back.
- You're back.
Yeah.
- Hi, babe.
- Hey.
Guess who got the job offer.
No way.
Tell me everything.
When does it start? What's your pay?
Uh, I don't know. I-I didn't take it.
What? Why, babe?
Babe, it's a local
network affiliate job.
That's like being stuck in the minors
when you know you're
destined for the big leagues.
Yeah.
Babe, I got to go. I'll call you back.
Okay. I love you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Family stuff?
- Yes.
- How's it going?
- Awesome.
Shay's, uh...
Shay's got it all covered.
Kids are having a great time.
Apparently,
she had to bribe Bryce with
backstage passes to BTS
just to say hi to me.
Yeah. Felt really good.
Well, just be happy she's
holding down the fort.
My husband's not holding down anything.
Not even a job.
- Do you want to do shots?
- Yes, please.
Oh. 90210 fan and bartender.
A true Renaissance woman.
Now you're flattering me.
Oh, that looks good.
Now it's yours.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Mmm.
- I have to come clean about something.
- Mm.
Andrea Zuckerman wasn't
just my favorite character.
She was also my first crush.
Are you surprised? I mean,
the Suze Orman blazers,
the pantsuits.
Total sapphic symbols, no?
Yeah, well,
it was network TV in the '90s,
and there was no way they were
gonna let Andrea go there.
What about Gabrielle?
Have you ever let yourself go there?
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Mmm.
I have a question for you,
Brian Austin Green.
Is it about my wife?
- Nope.
- All right.
So, you are a great stay-at-home dad,
but do you ever miss the spotlight?
Mm...
I don't know.
Even if I did, nobody misses me.
That's not true.
I've missed you.
Mmm...
- Here you are, sir.
- Thanks.
Great.
Love you, too, honey.
You know, it's so crazy,
I just got the strongest craving
for bacon.
You know, it's not just
for breakfast anymore.
Some people call it meat candy.
Well, I do have a sweet tooth.
Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
How about we go somewhere
we can be alone, Kelly?
What's wrong?
Nope.
It's Jennie, pig farmer.
Great.
Hey, take a seat.
I know you're not a hugger,
but... you look like you could use one.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Cheers.
How the hell did we end up here?
Well, my odyssey began with
an audition at The Manor.
Do you ever wonder what
our lives would be like
if we hadn't done that show?
Every single day.
People see me and,
they think I'm Kelly Taylor
or I'm no one.
They have no idea who I really am.
I know who you really are.
You're Jennie Garth.
The smart, fierce woman
I went to work with
every day for ten years.
- You were there for eight.
- Technically,
I left four episodes
into the ninth season,
but that's not the point.
Jen, not to objectify you,
because I know you hate that...
- You do?
- Yeah. I do.
But I see you.
All of you.
- Where's your...?
- It's on the side.
I got it, I got it.
Right there.
Wow.
Kill me now.
And, for the record,
I was gonna say something nice.
Exactly what is it about
me that bugs you so much?
There are plenty of people
who think I'm not so bad.
That. That right there.
You always thought you could just
charm your way out of everything.
Well... it's not that
I just thought it, I mean,
- I actually did.
- Oh, I know.
The more partying and womanizing
you did, the more people loved you. Me?
If I wore the wrong nail polish color,
I was a slut.
Nothing's changed since.
Yeah, okay, Jennie, I get it.
Double standard. That sucks.
But not my fault.
Look, there have been
consequences for me, too.
I'm stuck being a TV director.
I can't get my indie feature financed.
But all of that is for
stuff you actually did.
Oh, yeah, that may be true.
Something my wife
constantly reminds me of.
Your wife? The one you just cheated on?
Which you'll probably
get away with, too.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Plane's leaving soon.
Boomerang, Boomerang!
On three.
- Whenever you're ready.
- Thought you said "on three".
Hmm. Want to split it?
No.
Oh, thank God.
I didn't really mean that.
I think they went down here.
- Let me see, okay, who's here?
- What? Look at that.
I can't even pay my bills,
and yet that show is still
cashing in on our faces.
- Hi.
- I don't understand.
I mean, your dad produced the show.
How did, how did you not get any money?
Welcome to my life.
Okay. Now I'm on a dog.
Where are you going?
Hold on! Wait! Wait!
That's my face!
I want compensation.
I'll sue you! And your little dog, too.
Forget it.
Jen! Ian!
Jen!
That's my dress.
That's my dress!
Hey, you guys! Jen, Jen, it's my dress!
Come on! Come on!
No.
- Tori.
- What are you doing?
Are you all gonna stand there?
Why aren't you helping me?
Well, you seem a little
crazy right now, Tor.
'Cause this, this is my dress.
And you, Bri, why aren't you helping me?
I helped you earlier
when you were nervous.
- And you popped my cherry.
- Okay...
Settle down, it was only on a TV show.
And you, Calendar Girl.
I told my dad to cast you.
If it wasn't for me,
you'd be tapping maple syrup
- and chasing mooses.
- All right, let's go.
- So you guys get your asses over here.
- All right, all right.
- Come on! Oh, hi.
- All right, stop screaming.
Excuse me, can you take this?
Can you go live? Thank you.
This is locked.
Would you...
fulfill a teenage fantasy of mine?
That depends.
Help!
Tori, this is locked.
You're not getting in there.
You'd have to break it.
- Guys, guys.
- Oh.
- No, I was kidding...
- Stand back.
- Tori, I was kidding, I was kidding!
- No, no, no, no!
Oh...!
Did you get that?
- Are you crazy?
- God.
Oh, hey, uh...
I have to go.
I left the,
I left the kids unsupervised.
Okay.
Just know it's never too late.
- Unzip it.
- I can't get it off!
What is going on here?
I can't take you anywhere!
- What is happening?
- Oh, boy, here comes security.
- Stop right there!
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Time to go, people.
Ooh, that was oddly satisfying.
- I lost my wallet. I lost my wallet.
- Miss, you can't take that!
It doesn't seem very smart
for me to leave my
wallet at a crime scene.
Ma'am, return that right away.
And it is her dress.
Come on, come on.
Do you know her?
Sir.
Sir...
- Jen!
- What?
Oh, Lord, she put it on.
- Too small in here for that thing.
- Look at me now, bitches.
Look, you guys.
- Oh, yeah.
- Can you believe this?
- No, can't believe it.
- I know.
I'm the same exact dress
size I was in high school.
- Thanks to Spanx.
- Three pairs.
- But I got 'em up.
- Nice work.
You guys, I know I'm a little
tipsy... shut up,
- don't say a word.
- Okay, you spit in my eye.
This is not the alcohol speaking.
I just want you to know I forgot
how much I love all of us together.
That was fun, wasn't it?
- That was fun, right?
- It was fun.
- So much fun. So much fun.
- It was so much fun.
- And I got our dress back.
- Come on.
Uh, that's not our dress.
Yeah, it is.
This dress belongs to all of us.
Because this symbolizes everything
that we created together.
You...
and you and you
- and you.
- Thanks.
- And you.
- I'm down here, Tor.
Oh, sorry. And you.
- Okay.
- Mwah.
And me and Shannen and Luke.
Well, we're not all
gonna be here forever.
But we made something that will be.
- To Luke.
- To Luke.
I love you guys.
Great story.
I'm gonna use the bathroom.
- Watch that dress.
- Sorry.
This is insane.
- I can't get it off...
- Oh, look, it's Stacey
- FaceTiming Ian.
- Oh, bring it over here.
I want to say hi to her.
Come on, I can't...
I don't see anything.
- Hi.
- Hey, uh, Tori,
you have to hit "answer."
- Swipe it. A-Answer.
- Oh, right, right.
- Hey.
- Ooh.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- I don't want it...
This is so wrong.
I don't want to see that.
Push "mute."
Hey...
Is that my phone?
Mm-hmm.
- Z...
- Don't. No, don't.
I'm sorry, bud.
- I don't need your pity.
- It's not pity.
We, uh, we feel bad.
Want to feel bad about something,
feel bad about your nuts.
The ones your wife keeps in her purse.
Oh, come on, you guys, stop, all right?
We don't want to say
anything we're gonna regret.
Gabby, why do you always
feel the need to comment
on something that doesn't concern you?
- Really? Really, Ian?
- Okay, Ian, Ian, Ian,
- you just need to calm down.
- Is that what you're gonna say?
Oh, Jennie, you're gonna
give me marital advice?
- I don't think so.
- Oh, my God.
Hey, Ian, I get it, this sucks,
but don't take it out on us.
Oh, you're right, I should just
go punch somebody in the face.
That's the way to handle it, right, Jay?
Hey. That was a workplace dispute.
- These things happen.
- You guys, stop fighting.
We're all mature adults here.
Says the woman wearing
a stolen hoop skirt.
Uh, excuse me. I am entitled
to what belongs to me.
I have six mouths to feed.
How could you grow up with
every advantage in life
and still struggle to support your kids?
It's mind-boggling to me.
Okay, it's not Tor's fault
that she lacks basic life skills.
I mean, she's not normal.
She can't function in
a normal environment.
It's like letting a zoo
animal out into the wild.
Really?
- Well, I was sticking up for you.
- Well, stop.
Please prepare the cabin for landing.
- Well, now we're landing.
- Got to get out of here.
Yeah, we've spent enough time together.
Yeah, we did.
Enough is enough.
Hey, what are those lights down there?
The paparazzi?
Oh, no, that's not paparazzi.
Breaking news. The cast of 90210
has been arrested for
live-streaming the destruction
of private property and grand larceny,
and then transporting
the stolen goods across state lines.
"9021Ohhh Daddy!"
Yeah. I, uh, I have
no idea what that is.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
Why, are you mad at me?
I'm mad hot...
for a sexy daddy that belongs to me.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Whoops.
- Oh.
Hey.
My sexy jailbird.
I missed you.
Hi, baby.
You okay?
Yeah. Just a long night of fighting off
the sweetheart of Cellblock C.
How was your audition?
Oh, great. But so exhausting.
After that I pretty much stayed in bed.
Well, hope you had a good time.
Oh, yeah.
Well, would you look at that?
Behind bars, just like her grammy.
Gab... honey, you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. You know, I...
I did something new this weekend.
I never spent the night in
the clink before.
You guys are everywhere.
This one site even dubbed you guys
"Ocean's 90210." Which I can spin.
Hey, uh, Cam.
There's something I need to tell you.
Well, there's something
I need to tell you, too.
I just...
I think we both know
what the problem is here.
I mean, we have barely been
in the same city for
the last two months.
And I think I have a solution.
I'm pregnant.
You're what?
- I thought... I thought...
- I know.
But... it happened.
Uh...
So, what do you,
what do you mix the glitter with?
Yeah.
Now you got to sit down.
Jeff Gerber's office.
This is Jeff.
Hey, Jeff, it's Brian.
I think I'm ready to get back to work.
Brian Austin Green.
Brian...
Hey, how's it going?
Uh... I know it's been a while.
Sorry.
Uh, yeah, any, uh...
any guest spots that I could do?
Bail is expensive.
Please tell me that you didn't
put it on the credit card.
I love that you think we
still have credit cards.
If I can't convince the network
to not cancel our show...
I don't know what we're gonna do.
We're gonna figure it out.
Right? We always do.
Yeah. We always do.
Look at it...
Kelly!
Brenda, hi.
Hi.
You remember my brother.
- Nate!
- Yeah.
They're watching 90210.
Well, yeah, they wanted to know
what Mommy was doing in Vegas,
so I thought it was better
than telling them that
you were in prison.
They're getting bored, don't worry.
Hi.
Look, Mom, it's you and Aunt Jennie.
Did you know that you were
in a TV show together?
Working on my back.
I spent all last Saturday
lying on it, so...
Yeah, baby.
Before you say anything...
I'm sorry, I've...
I... I was a dick last night.
I wasn't trying to be insensitive.
That's what I love about you.
You don't have to try.
I'm sorry.
Love you.
I love you, too.
Hey, schmooze.
- Say hi to Aunt Jennie.
- Hi.
They don't care.
Okay. Does this mean
you're gonna help me think
of some new reality show ideas?
Uh, as your friend, no, I'm not.
I don't want you wasting your
time on that crap anymore.
So... what am I gonna do?
Tor?
Oh, my God.
It's right in front of us.
Like, it's literally...
It's right in front of us.
Come, get up, get up.
Come here.
- What?
- Look.
Okay, think about all the stuff
that went down this weekend.
Oh, yeah, I did.
And then I ate an edible.
90210.
This is the time to do a reboot.
No. No.
- Have you lost your mind?
- Maybe.
Wasn't Vegas enough punishment?
And that was without Shannen.
Oh.
What is the thing that that guy said?
You can't go home again.
- What guy?
- I don't know, some guy.
I only went to fake high school.
But maybe you can.
Maybe going back is
just what we all need
to move forward.
- Say hello.
- Oh, really?
I-I-I'll tell him that.
- We're so young.
- Hmm.
Welcome to paradise, man.
Mm.
Welcome to your dream come true.
- Grab a booth.
- Thanks.
Uh, whoa, what are you doing?
- I'm not your waitress.
- Yeah, I told you
when we bought this place, Kel,
sometimes you got to
get your hands dirty.
Do you remember when we used
to make out to this song
- underneath the bleachers?
- I do. I do.
Why do you think I sampled
it for that Jay-Z track?
Okay. Oh, hi.
Here you go.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Watch out, buddy.
- I love it when we're all together.
- Oh, I don't know about that one.
- Hmm.
No, I-I'd like to exchange this egg.
You want to exchange an egg?
♪ And I want ya to know I do it ♪
♪ All 4 love... ♪
Oh, wait, Brenda wanted me
to order her a slice of pie.
I thought Brenda was in London.
Brenda?
Tori, will you shut up!
- We're on an airplane.
- Sorry.
Wait. It's not cheating
if you dream of kissing
your ex-boyfriend, right?
Uh, no.
Just like it's not murder if you dream
- about killing your ex-husband.
- Vegas!
Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!
- What is happening?
- Vegas!
Vegas! Vegas!
Oh, Lord.
Tell me you're not Instagramming that.
Us on our way to our 90210 30th reunion,
and these drunk yahoos
in the back seat? Insta-gold.
Smile.
- You are out of control.
- No.
What I'm out of is money.
This is gonna help.
All these bills.
$842 for Mommy and Me yoga?
Great. I can't do that anymore.
Namaste here.
- Babe, can we talk about this later?
- Oh.
Right. Save it for when
the cameras are rolling.
- Okay.
- That's not what I meant.
Hmm.
All right, guys, let's wrap it up.
I-I thought we were ready to go.
- Wait, no, no, no.
- Why are you leaving?
Guys, excuse me. What's happening?
The show just got canceled.
You've milked your
brand from every angle.
The network says there's no more story.
No more story? Can you believe that?
Stuff just keeps happening to me.
And just when I think
things are slowing down,
boom, I fall on a hibachi.
Oh, I love that about you.
So that's why I have a
meeting set up next week.
I'm gonna sell the
network on another season
of Tori and Nate: Spelling the Beans.
Well, I thought it got canceled.
Yeah, but I need that paycheck.
Mama's got six kids.
Do you know how much college
bribery money I'm gonna need?
Can't Nate get a job?
Hopefully.
He has an audition for an
NHL announcer tomorrow.
I'm just hoping his voice is as good
as his slap shot used to be.
But at least this reunion's gonna
cover our bills for the month.
Excuse me.
Why is there no room on this plane?
It's called coach.
- What is it called?
- Coach.
- Hi, babe.
- Hey.
I don't mean to bug you but
- don't forget that Bryce has that...
- That play date tomorrow, I know.
I got it. Brian, baby,
what are you worried about?
Focus on you this weekend.
It is your time to shine.
Shay.
Five platinum records, nine Grammys,
and nominated for three awards tonight.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- How do you do it?
Oh, my goodness, I couldn't do it
without my incredible husband Brian.
He is my rock.
The best dad on the planet, all of that.
I got this.
Focus on you, babe.
This weekend is all about you.
Please. It's a 90210 event.
You know it's gonna be a
thunderdome of girl drama.
You're not gonna be there by yourself.
Who else is going with you?
Ian's going for sure.
Loves a good convention.
Gives him a chance to meet his fans
and build his brand.
Okay, Ian, honey, I'm posting
that you're selling our book
at the 90210 reunion.
Oh, good. You know what, don't forget
#SweatTogetherGetTogether.
Oh, yes, that's great.
I can't believe I have to do
this without you by my side.
I just thought of a new class:
Fit Fun Flirty Dirty.
How can one person be so smart,
creative, and beautiful
all at the same time?
Aw...
Can't wait to show you off in Vegas.
Don't hate me, but... I can't come.
What? Hold on.
- What? Why not?
- Because...
I'm auditioning for The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Shut the front door.
Baby!
Don't get too crazy in Vegas.
Don't worry, Gabby's coming.
Oh... Oh, honey, I miss her so much.
Three days old and I leave her.
What was I thinking?
Congratulations, Grandma.
I want to talk to you
about that "G" word.
Yeah.
This is going a little bit fast for me.
So if you don't mind...
I, at least for now,
would like her to call me Gabby.
Yeah, Gabby might be a little confusing
for her because...
meet Gabrielle.
You named her after me?
Oh, thanks, I got to go.
It's the office. Uh, Gabrielle here.
Hey, it's John.
Need you to be impartial.
Impartial? Of course I can be impartial.
That's my duty as president of
the Actors Guild of America.
I got to protect actors
when they make a complaint.
What's going on?
Are you kidding?
Who's the director?
- Guess who.
- Oh...
I'm gonna kill him.
I can't believe you're
making me do this.
Jason, it's my job as your publicist.
- You're my wife.
- Not right now.
This is business.
And you did this to yourself.
Cut it.
Okay, guys, that's a cut.
- Cutting!
- Chaz, buddy,
can you dig a little deeper?
I mean, I-I need you
to make the audience
feel your regret when
you tell Cassidy...
I-I was saving the city.
I-I don't give a crap about Cassidy.
And I don't need acting advice from you.
Just go stand on your mark.
Bro, you were a pinup boy
for horny teenage girls.
Okay, just get over yourself.
All you'll ever be is Brandon Walsh.
No one's gonna want to
finance the indie film
of a rage-filled director who
punches out his lead actors.
Use this reunion as a
chance to remind people
how much they love Jason Priestley.
America's golden boy.
Sexy Brandon Walsh.
Think you can do that for me?
Ladies and gentlemen,
- welcome to Las Vegas.
- Oh, thank you.
Ow.
Hey, uh, listen.
Don't say anything about Mark, okay?
I don't need everybody knowing about
failed marriage number three.
I can already hear the clickbait.
"From America's Sweetheart
to Sad Spinster."
Oh, stop, you're gorgeous.
He's an idiot for leaving you.
What the hell was he thinking?
What the hell was I thinking?!
Mom, the drama.
Can't you just throw his
stuff in the garbage?
Yeah, but it's not nearly as satisfying.
Okay.
He said I'm too aggressive.
Makes me want to bash his brains in.
I'm just... I'm not in the right space
to be around all these people.
It's gonna be fine.
Silver lining: Shannen won't be there.
But Jason will.
- I love Jason.
- Of course.
He's America's golden boy.
Ugh, whatever.
Watch your step, please.
Ah, let's go.
Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!
Vegas!
$40 a T-shirt, and we don't see a dime.
No wonder I can't pay my rent.
Ha. Well, we made it.
May I help you?
Yep. Uh, we're checking in
for the reunion panel.
Name?
Jennie. Garth.
Jennie Garth.
Um, I-I'm on the show
that's having the big reunion party.
Kelly Taylor?
So, is the reservation
under Garth or-or Taylor?
I... mm-mm.
My name is Jennie Garth.
I play Kelly Taylor...
... on the show.
- Oh, that's you.
- Yeah.
Oh, you look so much older than her.
Um, if I could just see some I.D.,
I could figure out which name
the reservation is under.
He wants to see my I.D.
Yeah, here's her I.D. right here. Sorry.
She has low blood sugar.
- Okay.
- Come here.
C-Can I talk to you for a second?
Oh, I'm gonna destroy this
place on Trip Advisor.
I get that you're edgy.
I feel edgy, too.
In fact, I didn't think I
was gonna be this nervous.
I am so... nervous.
I haven't seen Brian in almost 20 years.
I'm kind of freaking out a little bit.
Okay, he's married, you're married.
You guys both have kids.
And I understand that,
but we still have a history.
I lost my virginity to him.
On the show.
Life imitates art, remember?
Oh, right. Yeah, okay, just breathe.
Okay.
I feel like I'm sweating so bad.
Do I smell?
Oh, no. Jen, I stink.
- I didn't want to say anything.
- Okay, I got to go to the room.
I'm gonna freshen up and...
Nope, he's right there.
Oh, my God.
- Uh, I'm gonna slip out.
- Oh.
Oh, there's Jason.
- Oh, God, Ian and Gabby.
- Oops.
Yeah!
Well...
this is weird.
Oh, come on, we're all thinking it.
I like that the anniversary
brought us together.
I can't believe that we are all here.
I wish that were true.
Well, it's so great to see all you guys.
Come here, you.
Oh, awesome. The girls.
Give me some of that.
I want some of that.
My wife said Shay killed
it on the red carpet.
Yeah, she is a red carpet assassin.
- Hi, Gab.
- Hey, Gab.
- Hey.
- How are you?
So, I, uh...
I had to hear about this from the guild?
Yeah, it's, um... it's my dialing hand.
Mm, does it hurt?
Yeah.
- Good.
- Oh!
- Really?
- So how's... Jack?
- Mark.
- Mark! How's Mark?
- He's... fine.
- Good.
- Good. Thanks.
- Happy to hear that. So great.
Jen.
You know I'm not a hugger.
So later maybe?
- No.
- No?
Hey, Tor.
Hey!
Hi. Hmm.
Did you see that?
- Yeah.
- After 20 years, "Hey, Tor,"
two words... that's all I get?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, it's them!
Oh, it's go time. Come on!
At least she's got my shirt on.
Oh, boy.
All right.
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm...
I'm good, I'm fine. I'm just a...
little stressed, that's all.
I haven't done this in, uh...
in 20-plus years, so it's...
I just don't want to
say something stupid,
look like an idiot.
You remember our little
good luck ritual?
Come on. You remember.
The one before big scenes,
we got nervous, we would do?
This one?
That totally works.
It doesn't look very cool, but it works.
Little secret?
I originally started doing that
to do a breath check
before our kissing scenes.
Nice.
Thank you.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- You got this.
Please find your seats.
The event is about to begin.
Here we go.
Okay, showtime. Let's do it.
Is she gonna do that
teacher clap the whole time?
So, all those make-out scenes...
Did any of the romance spill off camera?
Um...
- there was a little spillage probably.
- Okay.
Yeah, but we don't kiss and tell.
Now you're just teasing us.
Let's turn this over to the audience.
Any questions?
Yeah. Right over there. Go ahead.
Andrea Zuckerman was my favorite
character on TV in the '90s.
What did you like most
about playing Andrea?
I... You know what? Andrea was strong
and intelligent,
and she stayed true to herself,
so I... I guess I am trying
to aspire to that in
my own life, as well.
- Aw...
- Thank you.
Next question.
Hi, Brian.
- Hi.
- Um, I was just wondering.
Do you know when Shay's
new album is gonna drop?
Um, I-I try not to get
involved in her music career,
but I am her number one fan.
Aw...
Any other questions?
That do not involve my wife?
Thought so.
Which one of you guys was
least like your character on 90210?
Oh, that kid over there. Right there.
Me?!
Yes, you.
Brandon Walsh was squeaky clean,
but this guy, I mean...
he's a little hotheaded.
Oh, right.
That. Okay, yes, I might have
lost my temper on set, I'll admit it.
Violence is never the answer,
but suffice it to say,
I always stick up for the little guy.
Yeah, himself.
Question for Brian.
Uh, I've been watching
the show with my mother.
Your character was always
kind of an outsider.
Yes.
Were you that way in real life?
Yes.
Still am. Still am.
I have a wife and three daughters,
so the chances are I'm-I'm
gonna be an outsider
- for, uh, quite some time.
- Oh.
You know, I think Brian would
agree that being married
to a brilliant woman is really exciting.
I thank my lucky stars every day
that I found my soul mate Stacey.
She's developed this brand
that is just incredible.
In fact, people, she's just
come out with a book.
She and I.
If you haven't seen it,
you really all need to pick it up.
#SweatTogetherGetTogether.
Hi. My question's for Jennie.
Um, whose romantic life
has had more ups and downs...
Yours or Kelly's?
Well... we've both been burned.
And I just want to say...
I'm so sorry to hear
about you and your husband.
- Excuse me?
- I just heard
on TMZ that he's filing for divorce?
You know what? Um,
Jen's a really private person,
and we should all respect that.
But me... I'm an open book,
so you guys can ask
me whatever you want.
I just want to ask a question
I think we all want to know.
Do any of you know what the
heck Shannen's up to these days?
Have you talked to her?
I haven't spoke to her in a while.
- No, me neither.
- Nope. No.
All right, we are in luck
because, as we speak,
a very special person is
live-streaming on Instagram.
Should we check in?
It's Shannen!
Surprise.
And so one of our rangers
found this little guy.
Aw...
He was all alone, starving,
his mother killed by poachers.
But never fear, you guys,
'cause he's here with me now,
and when he's ready,
we're gonna release him
back out into the wild.
Aw!
Donations really help.
You can send those to:
That's "paw"... P-A-W.
- Aw!
- I thank you.
The tigers thank you.
Bye.
Bye, guys, love you.
Bye.
Well, that was a surprise.
Hmm. What? That Shannen's
moved on with her life
and is saving the world,
or that my marriage ended?
'Cause either way... whoo-hoo!
I feel like a fool.
We need to change our flight.
I can't stay here tonight.
Uh, I-I have a... plane.
- Oh, yeah.
- It'll-it'll be ready to go
in, like, four hours.
Fully-stocked bar, tons of seats.
Great.
But I can't wait four hours for a drink.
Oh, I know, isn't she perfect?
Look at her chin.
Between complete adoration
and then utter shock that
I'm a grandmother, okay?
Kill me now 'cause I cannot
believe I'm a grandma.
- I can't believe you're a grandma.
- I know, me either.
Well, you did it the right way,
'cause you had your kids early
and now you can enjoy life.
Me... I did it the opposite way.
Here's my youngest three.
Oh, Tori.
What about you, Jay...
you and Camille gonna have a family?
Uh, we tried a while ago,
but work got crazy,
and we decided not to have kids.
Guess my indie film
will have to be my baby.
No dirty diapers but
lots of whiny actors.
I feel for you, Jay.
I can't wait to have kids with Stacey.
She's just younger, and she wants
to develop her career first.
And marriage is compromise, right?
But I'm real proud of her
for leading with this.
Check this out. Ka-pow-pow! Bam!
- Oh.
- Right?
Hey, if you got it, flaunt it.
It doesn't bother you at all
to have your wife up
on a giant billboard
with all that spray-tanned flesh?
Look, we got a great
relationship, all right?
It's like the perfect marriage.
I always know she's coming home
to me, so what's the big deal?
Yeah, I'm gonna need
another one of these.
Hey, cut it out.
Why don't you come in?
Hmm, maybe.
Why don't you make me?
- You should.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- She's with me.
- No, I'm not.
- Can I take you for a second?
- Girl talk.
- I'll be right back.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna have a roll in the
hay with that hot pig farmer.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
They're a special breed of heritage pigs
that he raises humanely.
It's a premium product.
- But you're a vegan.
- Mm.
- Not today.
- Okay,
look, just come hang out with us,
we'll have another drink.
- Hey, look at me.
- Yeah.
Ian Ziering has, like,
the perfect marriage.
I'm 0 for 3. I need to,
at the very least,
know that I can get a
pig farmer if I want to.
- Okay?
- Wait...
Okay.
- I'm back.
- You're back.
Yeah.
- Hi, babe.
- Hey.
Guess who got the job offer.
No way.
Tell me everything.
When does it start? What's your pay?
Uh, I don't know. I-I didn't take it.
What? Why, babe?
Babe, it's a local
network affiliate job.
That's like being stuck in the minors
when you know you're
destined for the big leagues.
Yeah.
Babe, I got to go. I'll call you back.
Okay. I love you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Family stuff?
- Yes.
- How's it going?
- Awesome.
Shay's, uh...
Shay's got it all covered.
Kids are having a great time.
Apparently,
she had to bribe Bryce with
backstage passes to BTS
just to say hi to me.
Yeah. Felt really good.
Well, just be happy she's
holding down the fort.
My husband's not holding down anything.
Not even a job.
- Do you want to do shots?
- Yes, please.
Oh. 90210 fan and bartender.
A true Renaissance woman.
Now you're flattering me.
Oh, that looks good.
Now it's yours.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Mmm.
- I have to come clean about something.
- Mm.
Andrea Zuckerman wasn't
just my favorite character.
She was also my first crush.
Are you surprised? I mean,
the Suze Orman blazers,
the pantsuits.
Total sapphic symbols, no?
Yeah, well,
it was network TV in the '90s,
and there was no way they were
gonna let Andrea go there.
What about Gabrielle?
Have you ever let yourself go there?
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Mmm.
I have a question for you,
Brian Austin Green.
Is it about my wife?
- Nope.
- All right.
So, you are a great stay-at-home dad,
but do you ever miss the spotlight?
Mm...
I don't know.
Even if I did, nobody misses me.
That's not true.
I've missed you.
Mmm...
- Here you are, sir.
- Thanks.
Great.
Love you, too, honey.
You know, it's so crazy,
I just got the strongest craving
for bacon.
You know, it's not just
for breakfast anymore.
Some people call it meat candy.
Well, I do have a sweet tooth.
Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
How about we go somewhere
we can be alone, Kelly?
What's wrong?
Nope.
It's Jennie, pig farmer.
Great.
Hey, take a seat.
I know you're not a hugger,
but... you look like you could use one.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Cheers.
How the hell did we end up here?
Well, my odyssey began with
an audition at The Manor.
Do you ever wonder what
our lives would be like
if we hadn't done that show?
Every single day.
People see me and,
they think I'm Kelly Taylor
or I'm no one.
They have no idea who I really am.
I know who you really are.
You're Jennie Garth.
The smart, fierce woman
I went to work with
every day for ten years.
- You were there for eight.
- Technically,
I left four episodes
into the ninth season,
but that's not the point.
Jen, not to objectify you,
because I know you hate that...
- You do?
- Yeah. I do.
But I see you.
All of you.
- Where's your...?
- It's on the side.
I got it, I got it.
Right there.
Wow.
Kill me now.
And, for the record,
I was gonna say something nice.
Exactly what is it about
me that bugs you so much?
There are plenty of people
who think I'm not so bad.
That. That right there.
You always thought you could just
charm your way out of everything.
Well... it's not that
I just thought it, I mean,
- I actually did.
- Oh, I know.
The more partying and womanizing
you did, the more people loved you. Me?
If I wore the wrong nail polish color,
I was a slut.
Nothing's changed since.
Yeah, okay, Jennie, I get it.
Double standard. That sucks.
But not my fault.
Look, there have been
consequences for me, too.
I'm stuck being a TV director.
I can't get my indie feature financed.
But all of that is for
stuff you actually did.
Oh, yeah, that may be true.
Something my wife
constantly reminds me of.
Your wife? The one you just cheated on?
Which you'll probably
get away with, too.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Plane's leaving soon.
Boomerang, Boomerang!
On three.
- Whenever you're ready.
- Thought you said "on three".
Hmm. Want to split it?
No.
Oh, thank God.
I didn't really mean that.
I think they went down here.
- Let me see, okay, who's here?
- What? Look at that.
I can't even pay my bills,
and yet that show is still
cashing in on our faces.
- Hi.
- I don't understand.
I mean, your dad produced the show.
How did, how did you not get any money?
Welcome to my life.
Okay. Now I'm on a dog.
Where are you going?
Hold on! Wait! Wait!
That's my face!
I want compensation.
I'll sue you! And your little dog, too.
Forget it.
Jen! Ian!
Jen!
That's my dress.
That's my dress!
Hey, you guys! Jen, Jen, it's my dress!
Come on! Come on!
No.
- Tori.
- What are you doing?
Are you all gonna stand there?
Why aren't you helping me?
Well, you seem a little
crazy right now, Tor.
'Cause this, this is my dress.
And you, Bri, why aren't you helping me?
I helped you earlier
when you were nervous.
- And you popped my cherry.
- Okay...
Settle down, it was only on a TV show.
And you, Calendar Girl.
I told my dad to cast you.
If it wasn't for me,
you'd be tapping maple syrup
- and chasing mooses.
- All right, let's go.
- So you guys get your asses over here.
- All right, all right.
- Come on! Oh, hi.
- All right, stop screaming.
Excuse me, can you take this?
Can you go live? Thank you.
This is locked.
Would you...
fulfill a teenage fantasy of mine?
That depends.
Help!
Tori, this is locked.
You're not getting in there.
You'd have to break it.
- Guys, guys.
- Oh.
- No, I was kidding...
- Stand back.
- Tori, I was kidding, I was kidding!
- No, no, no, no!
Oh...!
Did you get that?
- Are you crazy?
- God.
Oh, hey, uh...
I have to go.
I left the,
I left the kids unsupervised.
Okay.
Just know it's never too late.
- Unzip it.
- I can't get it off!
What is going on here?
I can't take you anywhere!
- What is happening?
- Oh, boy, here comes security.
- Stop right there!
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Time to go, people.
Ooh, that was oddly satisfying.
- I lost my wallet. I lost my wallet.
- Miss, you can't take that!
It doesn't seem very smart
for me to leave my
wallet at a crime scene.
Ma'am, return that right away.
And it is her dress.
Come on, come on.
Do you know her?
Sir.
Sir...
- Jen!
- What?
Oh, Lord, she put it on.
- Too small in here for that thing.
- Look at me now, bitches.
Look, you guys.
- Oh, yeah.
- Can you believe this?
- No, can't believe it.
- I know.
I'm the same exact dress
size I was in high school.
- Thanks to Spanx.
- Three pairs.
- But I got 'em up.
- Nice work.
You guys, I know I'm a little
tipsy... shut up,
- don't say a word.
- Okay, you spit in my eye.
This is not the alcohol speaking.
I just want you to know I forgot
how much I love all of us together.
That was fun, wasn't it?
- That was fun, right?
- It was fun.
- So much fun. So much fun.
- It was so much fun.
- And I got our dress back.
- Come on.
Uh, that's not our dress.
Yeah, it is.
This dress belongs to all of us.
Because this symbolizes everything
that we created together.
You...
and you and you
- and you.
- Thanks.
- And you.
- I'm down here, Tor.
Oh, sorry. And you.
- Okay.
- Mwah.
And me and Shannen and Luke.
Well, we're not all
gonna be here forever.
But we made something that will be.
- To Luke.
- To Luke.
I love you guys.
Great story.
I'm gonna use the bathroom.
- Watch that dress.
- Sorry.
This is insane.
- I can't get it off...
- Oh, look, it's Stacey
- FaceTiming Ian.
- Oh, bring it over here.
I want to say hi to her.
Come on, I can't...
I don't see anything.
- Hi.
- Hey, uh, Tori,
you have to hit "answer."
- Swipe it. A-Answer.
- Oh, right, right.
- Hey.
- Ooh.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- I don't want it...
This is so wrong.
I don't want to see that.
Push "mute."
Hey...
Is that my phone?
Mm-hmm.
- Z...
- Don't. No, don't.
I'm sorry, bud.
- I don't need your pity.
- It's not pity.
We, uh, we feel bad.
Want to feel bad about something,
feel bad about your nuts.
The ones your wife keeps in her purse.
Oh, come on, you guys, stop, all right?
We don't want to say
anything we're gonna regret.
Gabby, why do you always
feel the need to comment
on something that doesn't concern you?
- Really? Really, Ian?
- Okay, Ian, Ian, Ian,
- you just need to calm down.
- Is that what you're gonna say?
Oh, Jennie, you're gonna
give me marital advice?
- I don't think so.
- Oh, my God.
Hey, Ian, I get it, this sucks,
but don't take it out on us.
Oh, you're right, I should just
go punch somebody in the face.
That's the way to handle it, right, Jay?
Hey. That was a workplace dispute.
- These things happen.
- You guys, stop fighting.
We're all mature adults here.
Says the woman wearing
a stolen hoop skirt.
Uh, excuse me. I am entitled
to what belongs to me.
I have six mouths to feed.
How could you grow up with
every advantage in life
and still struggle to support your kids?
It's mind-boggling to me.
Okay, it's not Tor's fault
that she lacks basic life skills.
I mean, she's not normal.
She can't function in
a normal environment.
It's like letting a zoo
animal out into the wild.
Really?
- Well, I was sticking up for you.
- Well, stop.
Please prepare the cabin for landing.
- Well, now we're landing.
- Got to get out of here.
Yeah, we've spent enough time together.
Yeah, we did.
Enough is enough.
Hey, what are those lights down there?
The paparazzi?
Oh, no, that's not paparazzi.
Breaking news. The cast of 90210
has been arrested for
live-streaming the destruction
of private property and grand larceny,
and then transporting
the stolen goods across state lines.
"9021Ohhh Daddy!"
Yeah. I, uh, I have
no idea what that is.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
Why, are you mad at me?
I'm mad hot...
for a sexy daddy that belongs to me.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Whoops.
- Oh.
Hey.
My sexy jailbird.
I missed you.
Hi, baby.
You okay?
Yeah. Just a long night of fighting off
the sweetheart of Cellblock C.
How was your audition?
Oh, great. But so exhausting.
After that I pretty much stayed in bed.
Well, hope you had a good time.
Oh, yeah.
Well, would you look at that?
Behind bars, just like her grammy.
Gab... honey, you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. You know, I...
I did something new this weekend.
I never spent the night in
the clink before.
You guys are everywhere.
This one site even dubbed you guys
"Ocean's 90210." Which I can spin.
Hey, uh, Cam.
There's something I need to tell you.
Well, there's something
I need to tell you, too.
I just...
I think we both know
what the problem is here.
I mean, we have barely been
in the same city for
the last two months.
And I think I have a solution.
I'm pregnant.
You're what?
- I thought... I thought...
- I know.
But... it happened.
Uh...
So, what do you,
what do you mix the glitter with?
Yeah.
Now you got to sit down.
Jeff Gerber's office.
This is Jeff.
Hey, Jeff, it's Brian.
I think I'm ready to get back to work.
Brian Austin Green.
Brian...
Hey, how's it going?
Uh... I know it's been a while.
Sorry.
Uh, yeah, any, uh...
any guest spots that I could do?
Bail is expensive.
Please tell me that you didn't
put it on the credit card.
I love that you think we
still have credit cards.
If I can't convince the network
to not cancel our show...
I don't know what we're gonna do.
We're gonna figure it out.
Right? We always do.
Yeah. We always do.
Look at it...
Kelly!
Brenda, hi.
Hi.
You remember my brother.
- Nate!
- Yeah.
They're watching 90210.
Well, yeah, they wanted to know
what Mommy was doing in Vegas,
so I thought it was better
than telling them that
you were in prison.
They're getting bored, don't worry.
Hi.
Look, Mom, it's you and Aunt Jennie.
Did you know that you were
in a TV show together?
Working on my back.
I spent all last Saturday
lying on it, so...
Yeah, baby.
Before you say anything...
I'm sorry, I've...
I... I was a dick last night.
I wasn't trying to be insensitive.
That's what I love about you.
You don't have to try.
I'm sorry.
Love you.
I love you, too.
Hey, schmooze.
- Say hi to Aunt Jennie.
- Hi.
They don't care.
Okay. Does this mean
you're gonna help me think
of some new reality show ideas?
Uh, as your friend, no, I'm not.
I don't want you wasting your
time on that crap anymore.
So... what am I gonna do?
Tor?
Oh, my God.
It's right in front of us.
Like, it's literally...
It's right in front of us.
Come, get up, get up.
Come here.
- What?
- Look.
Okay, think about all the stuff
that went down this weekend.
Oh, yeah, I did.
And then I ate an edible.
90210.
This is the time to do a reboot.
No. No.
- Have you lost your mind?
- Maybe.
Wasn't Vegas enough punishment?
And that was without Shannen.
Oh.
What is the thing that that guy said?
You can't go home again.
- What guy?
- I don't know, some guy.
I only went to fake high school.
But maybe you can.
Maybe going back is
just what we all need
to move forward.
- Say hello.
- Oh, really?
I-I-I'll tell him that.
- We're so young.
- Hmm.
Welcome to paradise, man.
Mm.
Welcome to your dream come true.