Awkward. (2011–2016): Season 5, Episode 21 - Living in Sin - full transcript
Jenna takes things with Luke to the next level, and Tamara's debt comes back to bite her.
Previously on Awkward...
You're, like, the ultimate townie.
Lesley Ann Miller, will you marry me?
Yes!
You dropped out of school.
If you want to be a Palos Hills mom,
this is what it takes.
Okay.
Matty, thanks again, for everything.
It was a sweet Saturday morning
with my adorable boyfriend.
I should have been loving
it, but I had to admit
that ever since Matty
and I babysat Morgan,
I'd been a little...
distracted.
Do I want such a heavy course load?
Like right now.
Why was Matty holding my baby sister
in Luke's living room?
Oh, my God. Did this
mean I wanted a baby?
That's insane. I'm 19.
It's probably just PMS.
Oh, my God. It was worse.
I didn't want a baby.
- I wanted a M...
- Matty?
What did you say?
I said, "You're not very chatty."
What are you thinking?
What was I thinking?
I already had a great guy.
Jeopardizing that for Matty
was something I would have done...
okay... had done in the past.
But Luke was a guy I wanted to be with
for the foreseeable future,
a guy to whom I could
seriously see myself saying...
Let's move in together.
I said that last part out loud, huh?
I'm sorry.
Did you just invite yourself
to move in to my studio apartment?
I can't believe I just said that.
Because I [bleep] love that idea.
Really? You're not freaked out?
It's not like we're moving in together
moving in together.
It's just for a few weeks
until you go back to Wyckoff.
And, honestly, I want to
spend as much time as possible
with you until then.
Here's my only question...
do you think your parents
will be cool with it?
It'll take a little bit of coaxing,
but if I make my case, maybe.
Well, you work on them,
and I'll work on making
this place a little more...
girl friendly.
Okay, let me paint you
a picture with my words.
You, this dress, brunch at Bagatelle,
shopping in Soho, vodka at Pravda.
Done and done-er.
Does this say more "off-duty model
on Leonardo DiCaprio's yacht"
or "'Bachelor' contestant
at a rose ceremony"?
Will you accept this "no"?
I should take this.
It's probably Patrick.
Sometimes he calls from
an international number...
so hot.
Miss Kaplan, this is Pam from Visa.
Oh, P! How are you, sweetie?
Miss Kaplan, you haven't made a payment
on your balance, and we're going to
have to stop...
No, you stop!
I miss you.
Miss Kaplan, this is
your final notice...
Oh, my God, you are so bad!
Yes, this is a bad...
Got to go! Ta-ta, my love.
You and Patrick are gross.
I know.
You know what else is gross?
This dress is way more
Midtown than Meatpacking.
Supplicant squats!
Feel the burn of your sin melting away.
Praise the Lord!
Genuflect.
Kick the Devil away.
Um...
Okay, everyone go to the pool
for your biceptismals.
Wash away your sin.
Melt away your fat. Yay!
Jakey.
- Why are you sad?
- No reason.
Jake, we've dated, twice.
I think I know your pouty face.
I just read Ophelia's interview
with me on Idea Bin.
Ophelia? That "slunty" [bleep]?
This is why I didn't
want to say anything.
You get insane when you're mad.
The article's not even that bad.
- She said I seem happy.
- That's not so bad.
She didn't make it sound
like I'm genuinely happy,
more like I'm happy because I'm too dumb
to know better.
I just feel like a dumb townie.
And you said she works at Idea Bin?
Lissa, don't do anything crazy.
Jakey...
I'm very sensible.
Have a great day.
So what do you guys think?
I knew it would be hard
to convince my parents
to let me move in with
Luke, but I was praying
they'd say yes, eventually, at least.
Jenna...
this is such great news!
- For real?
- Yes!
This is going to make
everything so much simpler.
This house is way too full right now.
There will be one fewer person
showering here every day.
I think this deserves a toast.
I could have been offended
at how excited my parents were
to get me out of the house,
but I chose instead to focus on the fact
that I was totally getting
away with something.
To...
- Jenna and Luke.
- Hello?
Ooh, sorry. I knocked, but I didn't...
I didn't think anybody heard.
Oh, I forgot you were coming over
to practice our German presentation!
Keine Sorge. "No worries" in German.
So what are you guys celebrating?
I am moving in with Luke
for the rest of the summer.
That's a big step. Congrats.
God, you guys are so cool.
That would never fly with my parents.
Oh, I don't know that we're cool.
It just makes sense.
JK. We're so cool.
In the past, I would
have been spinning out
about Matty not caring
about my cohabitation,
but now that Luke and I had taken things
to the next level,
I didn't care that he didn't care.
My brief blip of hormonal hallucinations
this morning were just that...
a blip.
Patty Cakes,
I can't wait until we're back
in New York together either.
Tamara Judith Kaplan!
Babe, got to run.
Do you know why I'm so angry?
The change of life?
I'm just being real.
You've had the A/C
cranked way up all summer.
No, Tamara. It's not menopause.
Do you know that you have run up
$12,000 in debt?
I had an inkling.
Because I cosigned for that first card,
my credit is affected.
- I'm sorry. I didn't...
- Oh, you save it.
If you don't have a
plan... a concrete plan...
to get this debt taken care
of by the end of the summer,
you're not going back to NYU.
Okay, I'll go in first.
You should probably give it two minutes.
Do we really have to keep doing this?
I mean, we live together now.
I thought this was what you wanted,
so you'd be taken
seriously around here...
you know, not be the fellow
who slept with the guy
who recommended her.
Okay.
Jenna!
Lissa. What are you doing here?
Great to see you.
I have some important business inside.
Can you let me in?
Lissa? Are you looking for Jenna?
'Cause I... I don't
think she's here yet.
Oh, I know. She's
right outside the door.
I'm looking for Ophelia.
Hi. I'm Lissa.
And you've made me very angry.
Who are you? Is this a dream?
No, it's your worst nightmare.
You need to "atonercise,"
and not just because you need to atone.
You're a real big B-word
for sleeping with my friend
and then being rude to him.
- This is about Jake?
- Of course it is.
How many other sad, ambitionless townies
have you slept with this month?
Hey, I never used
those words about Jake.
That was all you.
I'm allowed to say those things.
I'm Jake's friend and ex-girlfriend.
Why did you break up?
Well, first he dumped me for Jenna.
- That is shocking.
- I know, right?
But more recently, I
broke up with him because
he couldn't provide me with
the Palos Hills mom lifestyle.
For real?
It's what I've always wanted.
Well, until my mommy got engaged
to a toilet seat cover man
who's fat and has a pager,
and his son has a VIP membership
at Lucky Chuck's Pong and Pucks,
and I don't want that!
Okay, it's okay.
I've got something for you.
_
You do not need a "P"
to be a Palos Hills mom.
You can be your own rich husband.
Eine Bratwurst.
Eine Bratwurst!
Dude, you are killing it.
In fact, I think we're gonna need
to make the studying a little harder.
I'm getting bored as [bleep].
Uh, what's that for?
Let's take a study spike.
This is the only thing
that got me through finals,
and I got a 4.0 this semester.
All right, hit me.
That's my boo!
Warum so viele Wuerste?
Ich habe ein Wurstfest.
Nailed it!
Ugh.
Now that Luke and I were back
in our cocoon of domestic bliss,
having to keep us a secret at
work didn't seem so serious.
This was our real life,
and real life was pretty damn good.
Babe, that sauce smells amazing.
Babe, I can't wait to try your salad.
I can't believe we're
going to be back at school
in a few weeks.
Hey, have you bought your ticket?
I was thinking maybe we
could fly back east together.
I have to stop through New York anyway.
Why worry about that when I come bearing
a housewarming gift?
I know you've always liked the scent,
and it's been a slow few weeks.
Oh, T. I love it.
Babe, look, it's our
first gift as a couple.
That is so sweet.
Babe, did you get the onions?
Babe, I forgot to get the onions.
I'm so sorry.
Babe, don't even worry about it.
It's just another dollar we
can put in the fun budget.
I'm sorry, T. What did
you want to talk about?
Something about your mom?
I don't even remember what it was.
Brain fart-y of one over here.
I actually have to go,
but enjoy the candle.
Bye.
Mmm.
Matty, hi, again.
Entschuldigung for all the messages,
but where the hell are you?
Frau Hoetzinger's
letting us go last, but...
Last is right now, Matty.
If you get here and you
see me speaking German,
for God's sake, hop right in!
Now that I was living with Luke,
the days at Idea Bin dragged endlessly.
I just wanted them to be over
so I could get back
to our blissful nights.
So I have been researching
rotisserie-chicken recipes all day
and thought maybe we could
do that, a little wine...
I have plans with Lizzy.
She wants me to come with
her to this book party.
As her date?
Of course not. I'm just her plus-one.
So I can't come.
I wish, but it's not a plus-two, babe.
Besides, if you were there,
our cover would be blown,
because I wouldn't be able
to keep my hands off you.
How am I supposed to get home?
Luke, are you ready?
I want to get there early
enough to really maximize
that open bar.
Good to go.
Moving in with Luke
was supposed to be an adult move.
But suddenly, it was
feeling like the wrong move.
"The service on this
flight was outrageous.
"No blankets and no ice?
"I was too cold, and
my drink was too warm.
"I expect a voucher
for at least three
to five free flights."
Ally, stop interrupting me
while I'm writing my complaint letters!
You know this is my Zen time.
It's me.
Ew. You look like [bleep].
That's because I'm in deep [bleep].
I'm in $12,000 worth
of credit card debt,
and my mom won't let me go back to NYU
until I deal with it.
That sucks.
That's all you have to say?
Sadie, this is kind of your fault.
Did you just say this was my fault?
I didn't even have a credit card
until you showed me how to get one.
Listen, you go to NYU,
which implies you're not a total idiot.
I assumed that I didn't
have to explain to you
that you actually
have to pay your bills.
I thought I could pay
them after I graduate.
How am I supposed to pay them now?
I'm a poor student living in the dorms.
Get a job?
I worked 15 hours a week
in the Columbia dining hall.
That, on top of my
scholarship, and the money I get
from my guilt-ridden "slunt"
of a mother got me through.
I got a job this summer,
and I spent a bunch of money
I made on your birthday.
Get another job.
Sadie, I am desperado.
I need you to loan me some money.
- No.
- I can pay you back.
Demonstrably untrue.
No.
Sadie, I'm your friend.
You're not a charity.
Figure something out.
You know what?
I don't even know why I
expected you to help me.
You are the same rude ass[bleep]
you were in high school.
And you're the same annoying dumbass
under all those desperate
designer ensembles.
News flash, Tamara...
you're not fooling anyone.
[bleep] you, Sadie.
The long bus ride home
gave me time to think.
In the past, I would
have totally overreacted
to Luke's night with Lizzy,
but being in our home reminded me
how committed we were.
My mood was nothing a bowl of ice cream
couldn't take care of.
Rocky road, take me away.
Okay, it's nothing a
hot shower couldn't fix.
Ugh.
Mm-mm.
[bleep].
Hi. This is Tamara Kaplan.
I'm calling you back about your offer.
How much did you say
you're willing to pay me?
And that's for one night
or the whole weekend?
Okay. What hotel?
What should I wear?
No, it's fine.
You're paying me. I'll
do whatever you want.
I want to teach Atonercise at the club.
Cool. You realize you've been
doing that all summer, right?
Yes, but before, I
was doing it for Jesus,
and now I'm doing it
for Jesus and myself,
and that means I want
signage, I want more classes,
and I want to be paid
equally to that of a man.
We don't have any male
Atonercise teachers,
but okay.
You're officially put
on notice, Jake Rosati.
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaning in!
You didn't have to wait up.
I had no idea this thing
was gonna run this late.
Mm.
- What's that?
- It's a picture from tonight.
Lizzy sent it to me.
How was the party?
What did you and Lizzy talk
about... how we're not dating?
What's this about?
And why are you reading the
Farmer Carl's Grocery Gazette?
There are a lot of good deals
on cookie batter in here,
but what this is about
is that you just leave
your towels on the floor.
What?
Okay...
it's about the fact that you
went on a date with Lizzy.
But seriously, who only has one towel
and just leaves it on the floor?
Told you, it's not a date.
If a girl sends you cute
pics after your night out,
then it's a date.
Take a look.
We make a pretty cute
couple, don't you think?
That's one of the authors I met.
Lizzy introduced us.
You happy now?
No...
but you shouldn't leave
empty ice cream containers
in the freezer.
Lizzy's my boss, and
when your boss asks you
to go to a networking party, you go.
If Lizzy was a man, you wouldn't care.
That's fair.
And by the way, I was
a little nervous to go.
You don't seem to realize this,
but I wasn't offered the e-book.
And I've been there longer than you,
and I want a job at
Idea Bin when I graduate,
and if that means
hanging out with Lizzy,
then, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
What Luke was saying
made me feel guilty.
Here he was, laying his
vulnerability on the line.
I owed it to him to do the same.
I'm sorry for being paranoid.
I guess I just...
felt like it was a date
because we're a secret,
and...
it brought me back to
a bad time in my life.
Okay.
I totally get it, and I'm sorry.
But, Jenna, I promise, I'm not Matty.
Luke was right.
Matty had kept me a secret
to protect his own reputation.
Luke was only trying to protect me.
It was totally different,
and I loved him for that.
Oh, my God, I loved Luke,
and thank God I didn't blurt that out
like the moving-in thing.
I never want to make you feel
like I'm hiding you, because...
'cause I love you.
I love you too.
This as been hard for me too.
Your name came up a lot tonight.
Lizzy likes your writing.
She thinks you're ballsy.
And it's been torture not to say,
"I know. That hot, ballsy
writer is my girlfriend."
But I want the world, including Lizzy,
to know I love you.
Oh, guten Abend, jerk.
Lacey, I am so sorry
about the presentation.
My night with Sully got
a little out of hand.
I honestly did practice.
Come on, I thought we were friends.
Friends don't ruin friends'
chances of getting an A.
What happened?
Sully thought of this
drinking game for studying,
and the next thing I knew,
I woke up, and I missed it.
Time for some real talk.
Sully sounds like a whole lot of fun.
You know, she actually reminds me
of a friend I had who helped
an ex study for the LSATs,
except he didn't wind
up going to law school.
He went to rehab,
and you know who that friend was?
Ally.
I love her to death,
but she is bad news,
and so is Sully.
I'll see you in class.
I was so excited that
Luke said he loved me
that I decided to make
my own grand gesture.
I had proven myself at Idea Bin,
and neither of us wanted
to hide the truth anymore.
And lucky me, I knew just
how to spread the word.
Sorry I'm late.
I needed to prepare for the marathon
that is about to happen,
and you're participating too.
Two bottomless mimosas, please.
Oh, the best part about a mimosa-thon
is you can't lose.
Plus, you get to drink your medal.
I-I'm fine with coffee. Thanks.
If you drink too much
caffeine plus booze,
you'll pee all day, dude.
I'm not gonna have any booze.
Sully, we need to talk.
Can we wait until I
get a breakfast burrito
up in this bish?
You know I can't do
anything on an empty stomach.
I think we need to go our separate ways.
I can't tell you how
much you mean to me.
I mean, you are the one who picked me up
and helped me through
a dark time this year.
You want to break up?
You've been amazing.
It's just... I-I don't know.
Maybe, uh...
maybe it's time to move on.
That's cool.
Uh, what?
Dude, if that's what you
want, I think we should too.
You're definitely paying
for the mimosas, though.
Um, I'm sorry.
This is not how my breakups usually go.
You're cool?
Yeah, dude.
It's not that deep.
Hey, you're okay, though, right?
Yeah.
Thanks for checking.
Of course.
Do you want some?
I had learned from my mistake.
The key to a grown-up relationship
was being on the same page,
and I knew Luke and I were.
Front page, babe!
When you write about love,
you're Miley Cyrus "Can't Be Tamed,"
and, Luke, you...
I mean, I never thought
you had it in you.
What's he talking about?
You said you wanted the world to know.
_
Not like this.
It's one thing to say we started dating.
It's another thing to admit
we've been lying to the boss
for the past month.
Luke, a moment.
Looks like no matter how
much more grown-up I felt,
I couldn't help but repeat
the mistakes of the past.
You're, like, the ultimate townie.
Lesley Ann Miller, will you marry me?
Yes!
You dropped out of school.
If you want to be a Palos Hills mom,
this is what it takes.
Okay.
Matty, thanks again, for everything.
It was a sweet Saturday morning
with my adorable boyfriend.
I should have been loving
it, but I had to admit
that ever since Matty
and I babysat Morgan,
I'd been a little...
distracted.
Do I want such a heavy course load?
Like right now.
Why was Matty holding my baby sister
in Luke's living room?
Oh, my God. Did this
mean I wanted a baby?
That's insane. I'm 19.
It's probably just PMS.
Oh, my God. It was worse.
I didn't want a baby.
- I wanted a M...
- Matty?
What did you say?
I said, "You're not very chatty."
What are you thinking?
What was I thinking?
I already had a great guy.
Jeopardizing that for Matty
was something I would have done...
okay... had done in the past.
But Luke was a guy I wanted to be with
for the foreseeable future,
a guy to whom I could
seriously see myself saying...
Let's move in together.
I said that last part out loud, huh?
I'm sorry.
Did you just invite yourself
to move in to my studio apartment?
I can't believe I just said that.
Because I [bleep] love that idea.
Really? You're not freaked out?
It's not like we're moving in together
moving in together.
It's just for a few weeks
until you go back to Wyckoff.
And, honestly, I want to
spend as much time as possible
with you until then.
Here's my only question...
do you think your parents
will be cool with it?
It'll take a little bit of coaxing,
but if I make my case, maybe.
Well, you work on them,
and I'll work on making
this place a little more...
girl friendly.
Okay, let me paint you
a picture with my words.
You, this dress, brunch at Bagatelle,
shopping in Soho, vodka at Pravda.
Done and done-er.
Does this say more "off-duty model
on Leonardo DiCaprio's yacht"
or "'Bachelor' contestant
at a rose ceremony"?
Will you accept this "no"?
I should take this.
It's probably Patrick.
Sometimes he calls from
an international number...
so hot.
Miss Kaplan, this is Pam from Visa.
Oh, P! How are you, sweetie?
Miss Kaplan, you haven't made a payment
on your balance, and we're going to
have to stop...
No, you stop!
I miss you.
Miss Kaplan, this is
your final notice...
Oh, my God, you are so bad!
Yes, this is a bad...
Got to go! Ta-ta, my love.
You and Patrick are gross.
I know.
You know what else is gross?
This dress is way more
Midtown than Meatpacking.
Supplicant squats!
Feel the burn of your sin melting away.
Praise the Lord!
Genuflect.
Kick the Devil away.
Um...
Okay, everyone go to the pool
for your biceptismals.
Wash away your sin.
Melt away your fat. Yay!
Jakey.
- Why are you sad?
- No reason.
Jake, we've dated, twice.
I think I know your pouty face.
I just read Ophelia's interview
with me on Idea Bin.
Ophelia? That "slunty" [bleep]?
This is why I didn't
want to say anything.
You get insane when you're mad.
The article's not even that bad.
- She said I seem happy.
- That's not so bad.
She didn't make it sound
like I'm genuinely happy,
more like I'm happy because I'm too dumb
to know better.
I just feel like a dumb townie.
And you said she works at Idea Bin?
Lissa, don't do anything crazy.
Jakey...
I'm very sensible.
Have a great day.
So what do you guys think?
I knew it would be hard
to convince my parents
to let me move in with
Luke, but I was praying
they'd say yes, eventually, at least.
Jenna...
this is such great news!
- For real?
- Yes!
This is going to make
everything so much simpler.
This house is way too full right now.
There will be one fewer person
showering here every day.
I think this deserves a toast.
I could have been offended
at how excited my parents were
to get me out of the house,
but I chose instead to focus on the fact
that I was totally getting
away with something.
To...
- Jenna and Luke.
- Hello?
Ooh, sorry. I knocked, but I didn't...
I didn't think anybody heard.
Oh, I forgot you were coming over
to practice our German presentation!
Keine Sorge. "No worries" in German.
So what are you guys celebrating?
I am moving in with Luke
for the rest of the summer.
That's a big step. Congrats.
God, you guys are so cool.
That would never fly with my parents.
Oh, I don't know that we're cool.
It just makes sense.
JK. We're so cool.
In the past, I would
have been spinning out
about Matty not caring
about my cohabitation,
but now that Luke and I had taken things
to the next level,
I didn't care that he didn't care.
My brief blip of hormonal hallucinations
this morning were just that...
a blip.
Patty Cakes,
I can't wait until we're back
in New York together either.
Tamara Judith Kaplan!
Babe, got to run.
Do you know why I'm so angry?
The change of life?
I'm just being real.
You've had the A/C
cranked way up all summer.
No, Tamara. It's not menopause.
Do you know that you have run up
$12,000 in debt?
I had an inkling.
Because I cosigned for that first card,
my credit is affected.
- I'm sorry. I didn't...
- Oh, you save it.
If you don't have a
plan... a concrete plan...
to get this debt taken care
of by the end of the summer,
you're not going back to NYU.
Okay, I'll go in first.
You should probably give it two minutes.
Do we really have to keep doing this?
I mean, we live together now.
I thought this was what you wanted,
so you'd be taken
seriously around here...
you know, not be the fellow
who slept with the guy
who recommended her.
Okay.
Jenna!
Lissa. What are you doing here?
Great to see you.
I have some important business inside.
Can you let me in?
Lissa? Are you looking for Jenna?
'Cause I... I don't
think she's here yet.
Oh, I know. She's
right outside the door.
I'm looking for Ophelia.
Hi. I'm Lissa.
And you've made me very angry.
Who are you? Is this a dream?
No, it's your worst nightmare.
You need to "atonercise,"
and not just because you need to atone.
You're a real big B-word
for sleeping with my friend
and then being rude to him.
- This is about Jake?
- Of course it is.
How many other sad, ambitionless townies
have you slept with this month?
Hey, I never used
those words about Jake.
That was all you.
I'm allowed to say those things.
I'm Jake's friend and ex-girlfriend.
Why did you break up?
Well, first he dumped me for Jenna.
- That is shocking.
- I know, right?
But more recently, I
broke up with him because
he couldn't provide me with
the Palos Hills mom lifestyle.
For real?
It's what I've always wanted.
Well, until my mommy got engaged
to a toilet seat cover man
who's fat and has a pager,
and his son has a VIP membership
at Lucky Chuck's Pong and Pucks,
and I don't want that!
Okay, it's okay.
I've got something for you.
_
You do not need a "P"
to be a Palos Hills mom.
You can be your own rich husband.
Eine Bratwurst.
Eine Bratwurst!
Dude, you are killing it.
In fact, I think we're gonna need
to make the studying a little harder.
I'm getting bored as [bleep].
Uh, what's that for?
Let's take a study spike.
This is the only thing
that got me through finals,
and I got a 4.0 this semester.
All right, hit me.
That's my boo!
Warum so viele Wuerste?
Ich habe ein Wurstfest.
Nailed it!
Ugh.
Now that Luke and I were back
in our cocoon of domestic bliss,
having to keep us a secret at
work didn't seem so serious.
This was our real life,
and real life was pretty damn good.
Babe, that sauce smells amazing.
Babe, I can't wait to try your salad.
I can't believe we're
going to be back at school
in a few weeks.
Hey, have you bought your ticket?
I was thinking maybe we
could fly back east together.
I have to stop through New York anyway.
Why worry about that when I come bearing
a housewarming gift?
I know you've always liked the scent,
and it's been a slow few weeks.
Oh, T. I love it.
Babe, look, it's our
first gift as a couple.
That is so sweet.
Babe, did you get the onions?
Babe, I forgot to get the onions.
I'm so sorry.
Babe, don't even worry about it.
It's just another dollar we
can put in the fun budget.
I'm sorry, T. What did
you want to talk about?
Something about your mom?
I don't even remember what it was.
Brain fart-y of one over here.
I actually have to go,
but enjoy the candle.
Bye.
Mmm.
Matty, hi, again.
Entschuldigung for all the messages,
but where the hell are you?
Frau Hoetzinger's
letting us go last, but...
Last is right now, Matty.
If you get here and you
see me speaking German,
for God's sake, hop right in!
Now that I was living with Luke,
the days at Idea Bin dragged endlessly.
I just wanted them to be over
so I could get back
to our blissful nights.
So I have been researching
rotisserie-chicken recipes all day
and thought maybe we could
do that, a little wine...
I have plans with Lizzy.
She wants me to come with
her to this book party.
As her date?
Of course not. I'm just her plus-one.
So I can't come.
I wish, but it's not a plus-two, babe.
Besides, if you were there,
our cover would be blown,
because I wouldn't be able
to keep my hands off you.
How am I supposed to get home?
Luke, are you ready?
I want to get there early
enough to really maximize
that open bar.
Good to go.
Moving in with Luke
was supposed to be an adult move.
But suddenly, it was
feeling like the wrong move.
"The service on this
flight was outrageous.
"No blankets and no ice?
"I was too cold, and
my drink was too warm.
"I expect a voucher
for at least three
to five free flights."
Ally, stop interrupting me
while I'm writing my complaint letters!
You know this is my Zen time.
It's me.
Ew. You look like [bleep].
That's because I'm in deep [bleep].
I'm in $12,000 worth
of credit card debt,
and my mom won't let me go back to NYU
until I deal with it.
That sucks.
That's all you have to say?
Sadie, this is kind of your fault.
Did you just say this was my fault?
I didn't even have a credit card
until you showed me how to get one.
Listen, you go to NYU,
which implies you're not a total idiot.
I assumed that I didn't
have to explain to you
that you actually
have to pay your bills.
I thought I could pay
them after I graduate.
How am I supposed to pay them now?
I'm a poor student living in the dorms.
Get a job?
I worked 15 hours a week
in the Columbia dining hall.
That, on top of my
scholarship, and the money I get
from my guilt-ridden "slunt"
of a mother got me through.
I got a job this summer,
and I spent a bunch of money
I made on your birthday.
Get another job.
Sadie, I am desperado.
I need you to loan me some money.
- No.
- I can pay you back.
Demonstrably untrue.
No.
Sadie, I'm your friend.
You're not a charity.
Figure something out.
You know what?
I don't even know why I
expected you to help me.
You are the same rude ass[bleep]
you were in high school.
And you're the same annoying dumbass
under all those desperate
designer ensembles.
News flash, Tamara...
you're not fooling anyone.
[bleep] you, Sadie.
The long bus ride home
gave me time to think.
In the past, I would
have totally overreacted
to Luke's night with Lizzy,
but being in our home reminded me
how committed we were.
My mood was nothing a bowl of ice cream
couldn't take care of.
Rocky road, take me away.
Okay, it's nothing a
hot shower couldn't fix.
Ugh.
Mm-mm.
[bleep].
Hi. This is Tamara Kaplan.
I'm calling you back about your offer.
How much did you say
you're willing to pay me?
And that's for one night
or the whole weekend?
Okay. What hotel?
What should I wear?
No, it's fine.
You're paying me. I'll
do whatever you want.
I want to teach Atonercise at the club.
Cool. You realize you've been
doing that all summer, right?
Yes, but before, I
was doing it for Jesus,
and now I'm doing it
for Jesus and myself,
and that means I want
signage, I want more classes,
and I want to be paid
equally to that of a man.
We don't have any male
Atonercise teachers,
but okay.
You're officially put
on notice, Jake Rosati.
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaning in!
You didn't have to wait up.
I had no idea this thing
was gonna run this late.
Mm.
- What's that?
- It's a picture from tonight.
Lizzy sent it to me.
How was the party?
What did you and Lizzy talk
about... how we're not dating?
What's this about?
And why are you reading the
Farmer Carl's Grocery Gazette?
There are a lot of good deals
on cookie batter in here,
but what this is about
is that you just leave
your towels on the floor.
What?
Okay...
it's about the fact that you
went on a date with Lizzy.
But seriously, who only has one towel
and just leaves it on the floor?
Told you, it's not a date.
If a girl sends you cute
pics after your night out,
then it's a date.
Take a look.
We make a pretty cute
couple, don't you think?
That's one of the authors I met.
Lizzy introduced us.
You happy now?
No...
but you shouldn't leave
empty ice cream containers
in the freezer.
Lizzy's my boss, and
when your boss asks you
to go to a networking party, you go.
If Lizzy was a man, you wouldn't care.
That's fair.
And by the way, I was
a little nervous to go.
You don't seem to realize this,
but I wasn't offered the e-book.
And I've been there longer than you,
and I want a job at
Idea Bin when I graduate,
and if that means
hanging out with Lizzy,
then, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
What Luke was saying
made me feel guilty.
Here he was, laying his
vulnerability on the line.
I owed it to him to do the same.
I'm sorry for being paranoid.
I guess I just...
felt like it was a date
because we're a secret,
and...
it brought me back to
a bad time in my life.
Okay.
I totally get it, and I'm sorry.
But, Jenna, I promise, I'm not Matty.
Luke was right.
Matty had kept me a secret
to protect his own reputation.
Luke was only trying to protect me.
It was totally different,
and I loved him for that.
Oh, my God, I loved Luke,
and thank God I didn't blurt that out
like the moving-in thing.
I never want to make you feel
like I'm hiding you, because...
'cause I love you.
I love you too.
This as been hard for me too.
Your name came up a lot tonight.
Lizzy likes your writing.
She thinks you're ballsy.
And it's been torture not to say,
"I know. That hot, ballsy
writer is my girlfriend."
But I want the world, including Lizzy,
to know I love you.
Oh, guten Abend, jerk.
Lacey, I am so sorry
about the presentation.
My night with Sully got
a little out of hand.
I honestly did practice.
Come on, I thought we were friends.
Friends don't ruin friends'
chances of getting an A.
What happened?
Sully thought of this
drinking game for studying,
and the next thing I knew,
I woke up, and I missed it.
Time for some real talk.
Sully sounds like a whole lot of fun.
You know, she actually reminds me
of a friend I had who helped
an ex study for the LSATs,
except he didn't wind
up going to law school.
He went to rehab,
and you know who that friend was?
Ally.
I love her to death,
but she is bad news,
and so is Sully.
I'll see you in class.
I was so excited that
Luke said he loved me
that I decided to make
my own grand gesture.
I had proven myself at Idea Bin,
and neither of us wanted
to hide the truth anymore.
And lucky me, I knew just
how to spread the word.
Sorry I'm late.
I needed to prepare for the marathon
that is about to happen,
and you're participating too.
Two bottomless mimosas, please.
Oh, the best part about a mimosa-thon
is you can't lose.
Plus, you get to drink your medal.
I-I'm fine with coffee. Thanks.
If you drink too much
caffeine plus booze,
you'll pee all day, dude.
I'm not gonna have any booze.
Sully, we need to talk.
Can we wait until I
get a breakfast burrito
up in this bish?
You know I can't do
anything on an empty stomach.
I think we need to go our separate ways.
I can't tell you how
much you mean to me.
I mean, you are the one who picked me up
and helped me through
a dark time this year.
You want to break up?
You've been amazing.
It's just... I-I don't know.
Maybe, uh...
maybe it's time to move on.
That's cool.
Uh, what?
Dude, if that's what you
want, I think we should too.
You're definitely paying
for the mimosas, though.
Um, I'm sorry.
This is not how my breakups usually go.
You're cool?
Yeah, dude.
It's not that deep.
Hey, you're okay, though, right?
Yeah.
Thanks for checking.
Of course.
Do you want some?
I had learned from my mistake.
The key to a grown-up relationship
was being on the same page,
and I knew Luke and I were.
Front page, babe!
When you write about love,
you're Miley Cyrus "Can't Be Tamed,"
and, Luke, you...
I mean, I never thought
you had it in you.
What's he talking about?
You said you wanted the world to know.
_
Not like this.
It's one thing to say we started dating.
It's another thing to admit
we've been lying to the boss
for the past month.
Luke, a moment.
Looks like no matter how
much more grown-up I felt,
I couldn't help but repeat
the mistakes of the past.