Awkward. (2011–2016): Season 3, Episode 18 - Old Jenna - full transcript
After apologizing to her mom and her friends. Jenna believes she is ready to get back together with Matty.
Previously on Awkward...
I ruined friendships
because of you.
That is all on you, Jenna.
Being an asshole is all on you.
Devon and Matty broke up.
We're done.
Take care.
What's going on?
Miss Marks is on
an indefinite suspension.
I'm so sorry, mom.
[Sniffles]
I had woken up.
And my wake-up call
triggered
a serious make-up call.
Make that two--
two make-up calls.
♪ when it started
spilling rain ♪
♪ the sun is lighting up
our faces ♪
I was working hard
to make amends,
and get back to being
old Jenna.
Because old Jenna finally knew
the grass wasn't greener
on the other side.
It was just smokeable.
[Bell rings]
Old Jenna was all about
turning the other cheek,
and knew that my mother's
intrusive habits
came with the best
of intentions.
And therefore, were meant
to be appreciated
and reciprocated, especially
on her first day
as the school nurse.
♪ All the stars
came into reach ♪
But my mother couldn't
bandage my bad reputation.
So to be old Jenna,
I had to avoid attention--
positive or negative.
Apparently righting my wrongs
would take time.
♪ Make you recall ♪
♪ the time we laid up
on the beach ♪
♪ and all the stars
came into reach ♪
[Vocalizing]
Or maybe, I'd be back
in the business of boring
before I knew it.
While Valerie had
annoyingly invaded
my personal space on the daily,
her absence of a week
was depressing.
And the fact that her suspension
was my fault
had put me in a funk,
which then manifested itself
into a series of sappy
voice mail messages and texts.
By all appearances,
without her cray on display,
I was picking up the slack.
[Knock at door]
Is Ms. Marks back?
No, I was just, um, dusting.
- Per her request.
- Shoot.
I really needed to talk.
Come in.
You can talk to me.
With Valerie out of commission,
I would lend my ear
and a little advice.
Which couldn't be
any more inappropriate
than if Valerie was
in the hot seat herself.
She'd be proud.
Do you mind putting these
on her desk?
Are you applying
to boarding school?
No. Actually, I just
moved here a few weeks ago.
But Ms. Marks suggested
I get out of dodge
since this stupid rumor
about me is gonna ruin my life.
No rumor is going
to ruin anything.
Trust me, after coming back
from the brink of death,
I know.
- You almost died?
- If you believe the rumor,
which thankfully disappeared.
Well, I am happy for you.
But my life
at Palos Hills is over.
- That can't be true.
- It can.
Darren Stevens asked me out
and I turned him down
because he is mean
and has terrible halitosis.
So instead of
just letting it lie,
he told the entire
basketball team
I had an orgy with
him and his brother.
Why would he spread a rumor
about having sex
- with his brother?
- Right?
- And I'm the one that looks bad?
- Screw him.
But that's what
I'm trying to avoid.
Not literally.
Bad joke...
like my life.
I don't have any friends
to vouch for me.
Well, now you do.
I'm Jenna.
And as your friend,
I just need to know one thing.
Anything.
Your name.
Bailey.
With another good deed done
and a new friend
added to the bank,
it seemed like
I was finally back on the road
to recovering my old life.
Welcome back.
Thanks.
- How does it feel?
- Good.
Well, soak it in,
'cause you are on probation.
Yeah, there are
some ground rules
you need to follow before
we fully trust you again--
No excessive
talking about yourself.
- No scarves.
- No glasses.
No weird faces when there's
a lull in conversation.
I didn't make weird faces.
And no experimentation
with mind-altering substances,
unless we are involved.
- Done.
- Uh, that was a trick.
No mind-altering substances,
ever.
Done and done.
So--
Both: So?
How are you guys?
Eh, not sure.
The mafia has been a little
unpredictable lately.
Look around.
Asians are assimilating
and it's weird.
As for me, don't ask.
But since you already have,
I'll tell you--
I'm miserable.
Jake and I broke up
over the election.
And while I'm willing to fall
on the sword
and take ownership
for his interpretation
of emasculation,
he barely talks to me.
I don't think he's willing
to get the magic back.
How do you know?
He's stopped telling
white lies.
No, you're not a good kisser.
Are you kidding?
I hate One Direction.
Yeah, you look fat.
He sucks, and yet
I still love him.
So now, how am I supposed
to put a brave face on
when I see him tonight
at Matty's?
- What's tonight at Matty's?
- His St. Matty's party,
- St. Patty's day.
- Right.
Wrong. I didn't know
about the party.
Are you going?
I don't think Devon
would want me there.
Devon and Matty broke up.
Oh, really?
That's too bad.
Why?
Apparently, she's convinced
he's not over you.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
So there was still hope
to make amends
and get back to where I belong.
I just needed an invite.
He doesn't need an invite.
I've given him all the signs,
but Austin is seemingly
more interested
in hooking up my Apple TV
than hooking up with me.
Maybe you're coming
on too strong.
And maybe your brain
is too small for your head.
I don't understand
what that means.
It means shut up.
He used to be all over me,
and now he's just
all over my Twitter.
And he won't stop
giving me business advice.
I don't wanna
discuss my business
unless he's all up in it.
Well, if you don't
want him working on it,
then how can he be
all up in it?
You're giving him
mixed signals.
You're useless.
You know what I need?
I need another dude
to flirt with
and make him jealous.
That's your best idea yet.
- But...
- But?
Where are all the guys?
[Upbeat music]
♪
Come in.
Good afternoon, Nurse Hamilton.
Hi.
I don't see anything wrong
with your foot.
Weird. The pain
just disappeared.
- I guess I'm all good now.
- Okay.
Well, come back if it returns.
I will.
Beat it.
Do you need something?
Actually, I was gonna
ask you the same thing.
I noticed an unusually
large number
of injured and sick
male students in the hall.
I know, and most of them
are complaining
of swollen groins.
Is that normal?
[Shudders]
[Cell phone chimes]
Excuse me.
There's something
I have to attend to.
[Upbeat spy music]
♪
Psst, Billy.
Hey, it's me, Miss Marks.
How are you dealing with
the death of your grandfather?
Do you need to talk?
Get in, we can take a ride.
Wait, come back.
[Knocks]
Miss Marks, what the devil
are you doing here?
You are strictly forbidden
from school grounds
during your suspension.
It's a free country.
This is government property,
and I'm a citizen.
A citizen who's restricted
to a distance
of 200 yards from all
Palos Hills students on campus.
200 yards?
That is cruel
and unusual punishment.
If you don't leave now,
I'm gonna be forced
to call the authorities.
Fine.
Call the man.
Because I certainly
don't see any around here.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
[School bell rings]
Kyle, do not sit there.
Where am I supposed to sit?
I suggest you stand
in the hallway.
Don't worry.
I'll leave the door open
for you.
Hunter, perfect timing.
Everyone, this is Hunter.
She's a former student of mine.
Come on, we'll go chat outside.
Hey.
- Hey.
- How much time you got?
Can you hang
for an hour or--
- Sure. I'm home
for Spring Break.
Just wanted to say hi.
But I can wait
until the class is over.
Actually, I prefer
you hang here
with the class, so I can leave.
Are you kidding?
So here's the deal--
here's 14 bucks.
It's about what
I make here an hour.
Thanks a lot.
Uh, hey, guys.
Mr. Hart took off,
so today I am gonna be
your totally inappropriate,
inexperienced sub for the day.
Yeah?
Why would you come back
to visit Mr. Hart?
I am asking myself
the same thing,
as now I am stuck here
for the next hour.
So did you sleep
with Mr. Hart?
[Sighs]
Yes.
I'm fucking with you guys.
Jeez.
You cannot be that naive,
not with him.
- Hey, you, in the doorway.
- Yeah?
Are you in this class?
I don't know.
Am I?
[School bell rings]
Hunter, wait.
I forgot to ask--
How did you pass Hart's class?
I didn't. I failed.
It's hard to pass his class
when you're dating
all the wrong guys
and constantly fighting
with your friends
and getting your heart
ripped out.
- I can relate.
- Of course you can.
You're in high school.
If you failed his class,
how could you stomach
seeing him again?
Because in my failure,
I found my greatest success.
I found my voice.
That, and he also gave me
the most amazing book
I've ever read.
What book?
Unraveled by Russell Jonathan.
- He gave me that book too.
- Oh, man.
That changed my life.
It also made me realize
that if I really
wanted something,
that I should just go after it.
Good luck.
I wasn't sure I wanted
to be a member
of Mr. Hart's book club,
but I'd take the sage advice
that Hunter gleaned from it
and pass it off as my own.
And that meant
I couldn't just wait
for an invite to Matty's party,
I had to make one.
Hey.
What can I bring tonight?
Just yourself.
All right, we're here.
Thank you for driving.
I didn't realize
chauffeuring was optional.
It's not. The "Thank you"
was a formality.
Under the terms
of your probation,
you are to be our constant
designated driver
until you're told otherwise.
Probably a good idea
to keep a clear head anyway.
Uh, have you already
forgotten the rules?
Shit.
You're right.
No talking about myself.
But can I at least acknowledge
how bad I feel
that I didn't know
Matty's parents split up,
and now he's living
in a new home?
That falls within
reasonable conversation,
since it's not all about you.
- It's about Matty.
- I disagree.
She's making it
about the fact that
she was the last to know.
True.
Overruled.
We need to stop
the conversation about you,
and focus on me instead.
What am I gonna do
when I run into Jake?
Thoughts?
Act normal,
like nothing happened.
- That's the best revenge.
- Agreed.
Wait. Are you agreeing
because you agree,
or because you're on probation?
Is that a trick question?
Because I agree.
I actually think
the idea is ingenious.
Good.
Then it's settled.
That's what I'm gonna do.
- Jenna?
- Who's that?
Uh, Bailey--
my new friend.
Did I forget to tell you
she was meeting us?
Both: Yes.
Did you invite her because
you thought we might ditch you?
No.
Probation requires honesty.
Yes. I wanted
a backup buddy.
[Upbeat music]
Just act casual.
I know what I'm doing.
♪ Something you got
is something I want ♪
Oh, fuck me.
I don't know what I'm doing.
And neither do I.
I don't know
how to pump the keg.
- And Fred's not here to help me.
- I'll help you.
Just keep me away from
all fair-haired man-children.
Sorry. My friends
are normally a lot friendlier,
but we're sort of in the midst
of mending fences.
Well, they seem very nice.
And frankly, I wouldn't care
if they weren't,
because I am just so grateful
to be here.
This is my first
high school party.
[Irish accent] A keg virgin?
Hey.
Matty, this is
my friend Bailey.
Thank you for coming.
[Spits]
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I'm not much of a drinker.
Jenna, where did you
get the soda?
Uh, cooler behind the bar.
I'll be right back.
- New friend?
- Yeah.
She's the good kind.
So why aren't you drinking?
Can't, I'm the DD.
Oh. Well, I'm glad
you're here.
Me too.
No, I mean, back here with us.
Hey, I just found out
about your parents.
I'm really sorry.
I wish I could've
been there for you.
Me too.
It's been a weird time,
but I'm hopeful
it's not permanent.
I'm glad to hear that.
I've gotta go
put out more cups.
But will you do me a favor?
Sure.
Come find me later.
I wanna hang out.
Old Jenna was making
a strong comeback.
And for the first time
in a long time,
the possibilities were endless.
The possibilities
are endless, see?
We start a website,
get advertisers,
then you could
write an advice book
for a million-dollar advance.
If we follow these steps,
we can take your brand
to the next level.
We?
Uh, I-I meant you.
The "We" was just
a natural assumption
that you'd want me along
for the ride.
Would you like to come along
for the ride?
Are you wearing
the correct size bra?
Why don't you find out?
Oh, not--
I'm not qualified.
You really should have
a professional measure you.
Hey, teach.
Finally, a familiar
female face.
I keep bumping into guys
that I deflowered
when I was a senior.
Although, there is one
that's looking pretty good,
and might get a second chance
to make a first impression.
Well, like you said,
when you want something,
you just have to go for it.
Which is exactly what
I'm about to do.
[Cell phones chimes]
Oh, my dad's out front.
- I gotta go.
- Here--
in case there's beer residue.
God. How many ways can you
save my life?
- Thank you.
- See you next week?
Absolutely.
With my backup buddy bouncing,
it was time to find Matty,
and see if our hang out
could lead to a hang in.
And maybe we could start
to rekindle a friendship,
or more.
Apparently, Matty was
rekindling something
with someone... Hunter--
the beautiful, cooler,
older girl
who swiped Matty's V-card
and was out of my league.
Excuse me.
♪ Show me what you wanna do ♪
- Hey, you guys ready to go?
- No.
Do you want us
to get another ride?
- No.
- Good.
'Cause we're just
getting started.
[Both laugh]
And suddenly, so was I.
Because I wasn't going to get
through the night
obeying the terms
of my probation.
Old Jenna, new Jenna,
bad Jenna, good Jenna--
they all had one thing
in common.
They all needed a drink.
[Upbeat music]
I'm sorry for surprising you,
but I thought we needed
a moment of privacy.
- Finally.
- I want you to know...
Yes?
...your new passwords.
- You really gotta protect--
- Enough.
Are we in business
or are we getting
down to business?
Because you used to be
super aggressive.
And now, you're
Timid Fucking Tony.
What is your deal?
Sometimes I can't
read social cues.
[Chuckles]
No shit.
And I never know when
it's the right time
- to make a move.
- I'll give you a hint.
Now.
♪
Do you like me?
Sure.
You shouldn't.
I was a jerk to you
and Matty and everyone else.
I suck.
We all make mistakes, Jenna.
Like, when I didn't
tell you about Matty
when we were together?
It's cool.
I'm over it.
We were good together.
We had fun.
Do you miss the old Jenna?
I do.
I miss the old Jenna.
You are drunk.
Let's get you some water.
I don't want water.
You've broken the terms
of your probation.
And once again, you're hurting
yourself and others.
- We're very--
- Concerned about you.
I don't know
what just happened,
- but it feels like--
- You're acting out.
Can you stop cutting me off?
Oh, I wasn't trying to.
I was just--
Putting yourself before others?
Yes. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
I know that you don't
mean to do it, but you did.
And it's alienating.
By the way, why aren't you
mad at me for the kiss?
- Because she kissed you.
- How do you know that?
Oh, my God.
Did you kiss her?
No. But why wouldn't
you think that I would?
- Because you're loyal.
- Exactly.
And you weren't,
which is why I was pissed
that you took my job.
You're right.
I crossed a line,
and I betrayed you.
I guess I took for granted that
you wouldn't hold it
against me.
I take full responsibility
for sucking.
- Me too.
- That's appreciated,
but I'm talking
about me and Jake.
Jake, I screwed up.
I made a mistake.
Sometimes my mouth
starts moving
before I can think about
what's coming out of it.
I don't know how
to make it stop.
[Chuckles]
I do.
[Rock music]
♪
So are we okay?
Yeah.
We fight.
We make-up.
That's our bit.
[Chuckles]
The inconsiderate selfishness
of new Jenna
had overtaken my attempt
to bring back the old one.
I had blown my responsibility
as the designated driver,
and relegated everyone
to an impromptu sleepover,
which wasn't how
I had envisioned
spending the night at Matty's.
Hey.
Do you need another blanket?
But Matty's bed
was already occupied.
_
♪ Set my silly little heart
on fire ♪
♪ became my desire ♪
♪ you stood me up,
up, up, up on my feet ♪
♪ you stood me up ♪
Did you clean up
the entire house?
- Almost.
- Muffins?
I found a mix.
What is going on here?
I thought I would
clean up the mess,
since I have been
an expert
at making them lately.
I'm sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
I've been a really bad friend.
I really missed you guys.
We've missed you too.
Um, does Hunter drink coffee?
I can make some.
Hunter, huh?
What, did you revisit
some history?
No, no.
She got really drunk
and threw up on herself,
so I cleaned her up
and I put her to bed.
She's not here.
I guess she took off
- when she sobered up.
- That's a bummer.
Yeah, not really.
I'd rather hang out
with someone else instead.
Turns out, I didn't need
to be old Jenna
to make amends
and get my life back.
Instead, I was aspiring to be
new-and-improved Jenna,
who finally knew
how to appreciate
what she had
before it was really gone.
[Cell phone chimes]
One new message.
Jenna, it's Miss Marks.
It's no longer appropriate
for you to contact me.
I've been fired.
I ruined friendships
because of you.
That is all on you, Jenna.
Being an asshole is all on you.
Devon and Matty broke up.
We're done.
Take care.
What's going on?
Miss Marks is on
an indefinite suspension.
I'm so sorry, mom.
[Sniffles]
I had woken up.
And my wake-up call
triggered
a serious make-up call.
Make that two--
two make-up calls.
♪ when it started
spilling rain ♪
♪ the sun is lighting up
our faces ♪
I was working hard
to make amends,
and get back to being
old Jenna.
Because old Jenna finally knew
the grass wasn't greener
on the other side.
It was just smokeable.
[Bell rings]
Old Jenna was all about
turning the other cheek,
and knew that my mother's
intrusive habits
came with the best
of intentions.
And therefore, were meant
to be appreciated
and reciprocated, especially
on her first day
as the school nurse.
♪ All the stars
came into reach ♪
But my mother couldn't
bandage my bad reputation.
So to be old Jenna,
I had to avoid attention--
positive or negative.
Apparently righting my wrongs
would take time.
♪ Make you recall ♪
♪ the time we laid up
on the beach ♪
♪ and all the stars
came into reach ♪
[Vocalizing]
Or maybe, I'd be back
in the business of boring
before I knew it.
While Valerie had
annoyingly invaded
my personal space on the daily,
her absence of a week
was depressing.
And the fact that her suspension
was my fault
had put me in a funk,
which then manifested itself
into a series of sappy
voice mail messages and texts.
By all appearances,
without her cray on display,
I was picking up the slack.
[Knock at door]
Is Ms. Marks back?
No, I was just, um, dusting.
- Per her request.
- Shoot.
I really needed to talk.
Come in.
You can talk to me.
With Valerie out of commission,
I would lend my ear
and a little advice.
Which couldn't be
any more inappropriate
than if Valerie was
in the hot seat herself.
She'd be proud.
Do you mind putting these
on her desk?
Are you applying
to boarding school?
No. Actually, I just
moved here a few weeks ago.
But Ms. Marks suggested
I get out of dodge
since this stupid rumor
about me is gonna ruin my life.
No rumor is going
to ruin anything.
Trust me, after coming back
from the brink of death,
I know.
- You almost died?
- If you believe the rumor,
which thankfully disappeared.
Well, I am happy for you.
But my life
at Palos Hills is over.
- That can't be true.
- It can.
Darren Stevens asked me out
and I turned him down
because he is mean
and has terrible halitosis.
So instead of
just letting it lie,
he told the entire
basketball team
I had an orgy with
him and his brother.
Why would he spread a rumor
about having sex
- with his brother?
- Right?
- And I'm the one that looks bad?
- Screw him.
But that's what
I'm trying to avoid.
Not literally.
Bad joke...
like my life.
I don't have any friends
to vouch for me.
Well, now you do.
I'm Jenna.
And as your friend,
I just need to know one thing.
Anything.
Your name.
Bailey.
With another good deed done
and a new friend
added to the bank,
it seemed like
I was finally back on the road
to recovering my old life.
Welcome back.
Thanks.
- How does it feel?
- Good.
Well, soak it in,
'cause you are on probation.
Yeah, there are
some ground rules
you need to follow before
we fully trust you again--
No excessive
talking about yourself.
- No scarves.
- No glasses.
No weird faces when there's
a lull in conversation.
I didn't make weird faces.
And no experimentation
with mind-altering substances,
unless we are involved.
- Done.
- Uh, that was a trick.
No mind-altering substances,
ever.
Done and done.
So--
Both: So?
How are you guys?
Eh, not sure.
The mafia has been a little
unpredictable lately.
Look around.
Asians are assimilating
and it's weird.
As for me, don't ask.
But since you already have,
I'll tell you--
I'm miserable.
Jake and I broke up
over the election.
And while I'm willing to fall
on the sword
and take ownership
for his interpretation
of emasculation,
he barely talks to me.
I don't think he's willing
to get the magic back.
How do you know?
He's stopped telling
white lies.
No, you're not a good kisser.
Are you kidding?
I hate One Direction.
Yeah, you look fat.
He sucks, and yet
I still love him.
So now, how am I supposed
to put a brave face on
when I see him tonight
at Matty's?
- What's tonight at Matty's?
- His St. Matty's party,
- St. Patty's day.
- Right.
Wrong. I didn't know
about the party.
Are you going?
I don't think Devon
would want me there.
Devon and Matty broke up.
Oh, really?
That's too bad.
Why?
Apparently, she's convinced
he's not over you.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
So there was still hope
to make amends
and get back to where I belong.
I just needed an invite.
He doesn't need an invite.
I've given him all the signs,
but Austin is seemingly
more interested
in hooking up my Apple TV
than hooking up with me.
Maybe you're coming
on too strong.
And maybe your brain
is too small for your head.
I don't understand
what that means.
It means shut up.
He used to be all over me,
and now he's just
all over my Twitter.
And he won't stop
giving me business advice.
I don't wanna
discuss my business
unless he's all up in it.
Well, if you don't
want him working on it,
then how can he be
all up in it?
You're giving him
mixed signals.
You're useless.
You know what I need?
I need another dude
to flirt with
and make him jealous.
That's your best idea yet.
- But...
- But?
Where are all the guys?
[Upbeat music]
♪
Come in.
Good afternoon, Nurse Hamilton.
Hi.
I don't see anything wrong
with your foot.
Weird. The pain
just disappeared.
- I guess I'm all good now.
- Okay.
Well, come back if it returns.
I will.
Beat it.
Do you need something?
Actually, I was gonna
ask you the same thing.
I noticed an unusually
large number
of injured and sick
male students in the hall.
I know, and most of them
are complaining
of swollen groins.
Is that normal?
[Shudders]
[Cell phone chimes]
Excuse me.
There's something
I have to attend to.
[Upbeat spy music]
♪
Psst, Billy.
Hey, it's me, Miss Marks.
How are you dealing with
the death of your grandfather?
Do you need to talk?
Get in, we can take a ride.
Wait, come back.
[Knocks]
Miss Marks, what the devil
are you doing here?
You are strictly forbidden
from school grounds
during your suspension.
It's a free country.
This is government property,
and I'm a citizen.
A citizen who's restricted
to a distance
of 200 yards from all
Palos Hills students on campus.
200 yards?
That is cruel
and unusual punishment.
If you don't leave now,
I'm gonna be forced
to call the authorities.
Fine.
Call the man.
Because I certainly
don't see any around here.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
[School bell rings]
Kyle, do not sit there.
Where am I supposed to sit?
I suggest you stand
in the hallway.
Don't worry.
I'll leave the door open
for you.
Hunter, perfect timing.
Everyone, this is Hunter.
She's a former student of mine.
Come on, we'll go chat outside.
Hey.
- Hey.
- How much time you got?
Can you hang
for an hour or--
- Sure. I'm home
for Spring Break.
Just wanted to say hi.
But I can wait
until the class is over.
Actually, I prefer
you hang here
with the class, so I can leave.
Are you kidding?
So here's the deal--
here's 14 bucks.
It's about what
I make here an hour.
Thanks a lot.
Uh, hey, guys.
Mr. Hart took off,
so today I am gonna be
your totally inappropriate,
inexperienced sub for the day.
Yeah?
Why would you come back
to visit Mr. Hart?
I am asking myself
the same thing,
as now I am stuck here
for the next hour.
So did you sleep
with Mr. Hart?
[Sighs]
Yes.
I'm fucking with you guys.
Jeez.
You cannot be that naive,
not with him.
- Hey, you, in the doorway.
- Yeah?
Are you in this class?
I don't know.
Am I?
[School bell rings]
Hunter, wait.
I forgot to ask--
How did you pass Hart's class?
I didn't. I failed.
It's hard to pass his class
when you're dating
all the wrong guys
and constantly fighting
with your friends
and getting your heart
ripped out.
- I can relate.
- Of course you can.
You're in high school.
If you failed his class,
how could you stomach
seeing him again?
Because in my failure,
I found my greatest success.
I found my voice.
That, and he also gave me
the most amazing book
I've ever read.
What book?
Unraveled by Russell Jonathan.
- He gave me that book too.
- Oh, man.
That changed my life.
It also made me realize
that if I really
wanted something,
that I should just go after it.
Good luck.
I wasn't sure I wanted
to be a member
of Mr. Hart's book club,
but I'd take the sage advice
that Hunter gleaned from it
and pass it off as my own.
And that meant
I couldn't just wait
for an invite to Matty's party,
I had to make one.
Hey.
What can I bring tonight?
Just yourself.
All right, we're here.
Thank you for driving.
I didn't realize
chauffeuring was optional.
It's not. The "Thank you"
was a formality.
Under the terms
of your probation,
you are to be our constant
designated driver
until you're told otherwise.
Probably a good idea
to keep a clear head anyway.
Uh, have you already
forgotten the rules?
Shit.
You're right.
No talking about myself.
But can I at least acknowledge
how bad I feel
that I didn't know
Matty's parents split up,
and now he's living
in a new home?
That falls within
reasonable conversation,
since it's not all about you.
- It's about Matty.
- I disagree.
She's making it
about the fact that
she was the last to know.
True.
Overruled.
We need to stop
the conversation about you,
and focus on me instead.
What am I gonna do
when I run into Jake?
Thoughts?
Act normal,
like nothing happened.
- That's the best revenge.
- Agreed.
Wait. Are you agreeing
because you agree,
or because you're on probation?
Is that a trick question?
Because I agree.
I actually think
the idea is ingenious.
Good.
Then it's settled.
That's what I'm gonna do.
- Jenna?
- Who's that?
Uh, Bailey--
my new friend.
Did I forget to tell you
she was meeting us?
Both: Yes.
Did you invite her because
you thought we might ditch you?
No.
Probation requires honesty.
Yes. I wanted
a backup buddy.
[Upbeat music]
Just act casual.
I know what I'm doing.
♪ Something you got
is something I want ♪
Oh, fuck me.
I don't know what I'm doing.
And neither do I.
I don't know
how to pump the keg.
- And Fred's not here to help me.
- I'll help you.
Just keep me away from
all fair-haired man-children.
Sorry. My friends
are normally a lot friendlier,
but we're sort of in the midst
of mending fences.
Well, they seem very nice.
And frankly, I wouldn't care
if they weren't,
because I am just so grateful
to be here.
This is my first
high school party.
[Irish accent] A keg virgin?
Hey.
Matty, this is
my friend Bailey.
Thank you for coming.
[Spits]
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I'm not much of a drinker.
Jenna, where did you
get the soda?
Uh, cooler behind the bar.
I'll be right back.
- New friend?
- Yeah.
She's the good kind.
So why aren't you drinking?
Can't, I'm the DD.
Oh. Well, I'm glad
you're here.
Me too.
No, I mean, back here with us.
Hey, I just found out
about your parents.
I'm really sorry.
I wish I could've
been there for you.
Me too.
It's been a weird time,
but I'm hopeful
it's not permanent.
I'm glad to hear that.
I've gotta go
put out more cups.
But will you do me a favor?
Sure.
Come find me later.
I wanna hang out.
Old Jenna was making
a strong comeback.
And for the first time
in a long time,
the possibilities were endless.
The possibilities
are endless, see?
We start a website,
get advertisers,
then you could
write an advice book
for a million-dollar advance.
If we follow these steps,
we can take your brand
to the next level.
We?
Uh, I-I meant you.
The "We" was just
a natural assumption
that you'd want me along
for the ride.
Would you like to come along
for the ride?
Are you wearing
the correct size bra?
Why don't you find out?
Oh, not--
I'm not qualified.
You really should have
a professional measure you.
Hey, teach.
Finally, a familiar
female face.
I keep bumping into guys
that I deflowered
when I was a senior.
Although, there is one
that's looking pretty good,
and might get a second chance
to make a first impression.
Well, like you said,
when you want something,
you just have to go for it.
Which is exactly what
I'm about to do.
[Cell phones chimes]
Oh, my dad's out front.
- I gotta go.
- Here--
in case there's beer residue.
God. How many ways can you
save my life?
- Thank you.
- See you next week?
Absolutely.
With my backup buddy bouncing,
it was time to find Matty,
and see if our hang out
could lead to a hang in.
And maybe we could start
to rekindle a friendship,
or more.
Apparently, Matty was
rekindling something
with someone... Hunter--
the beautiful, cooler,
older girl
who swiped Matty's V-card
and was out of my league.
Excuse me.
♪ Show me what you wanna do ♪
- Hey, you guys ready to go?
- No.
Do you want us
to get another ride?
- No.
- Good.
'Cause we're just
getting started.
[Both laugh]
And suddenly, so was I.
Because I wasn't going to get
through the night
obeying the terms
of my probation.
Old Jenna, new Jenna,
bad Jenna, good Jenna--
they all had one thing
in common.
They all needed a drink.
[Upbeat music]
I'm sorry for surprising you,
but I thought we needed
a moment of privacy.
- Finally.
- I want you to know...
Yes?
...your new passwords.
- You really gotta protect--
- Enough.
Are we in business
or are we getting
down to business?
Because you used to be
super aggressive.
And now, you're
Timid Fucking Tony.
What is your deal?
Sometimes I can't
read social cues.
[Chuckles]
No shit.
And I never know when
it's the right time
- to make a move.
- I'll give you a hint.
Now.
♪
Do you like me?
Sure.
You shouldn't.
I was a jerk to you
and Matty and everyone else.
I suck.
We all make mistakes, Jenna.
Like, when I didn't
tell you about Matty
when we were together?
It's cool.
I'm over it.
We were good together.
We had fun.
Do you miss the old Jenna?
I do.
I miss the old Jenna.
You are drunk.
Let's get you some water.
I don't want water.
You've broken the terms
of your probation.
And once again, you're hurting
yourself and others.
- We're very--
- Concerned about you.
I don't know
what just happened,
- but it feels like--
- You're acting out.
Can you stop cutting me off?
Oh, I wasn't trying to.
I was just--
Putting yourself before others?
Yes. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
I know that you don't
mean to do it, but you did.
And it's alienating.
By the way, why aren't you
mad at me for the kiss?
- Because she kissed you.
- How do you know that?
Oh, my God.
Did you kiss her?
No. But why wouldn't
you think that I would?
- Because you're loyal.
- Exactly.
And you weren't,
which is why I was pissed
that you took my job.
You're right.
I crossed a line,
and I betrayed you.
I guess I took for granted that
you wouldn't hold it
against me.
I take full responsibility
for sucking.
- Me too.
- That's appreciated,
but I'm talking
about me and Jake.
Jake, I screwed up.
I made a mistake.
Sometimes my mouth
starts moving
before I can think about
what's coming out of it.
I don't know how
to make it stop.
[Chuckles]
I do.
[Rock music]
♪
So are we okay?
Yeah.
We fight.
We make-up.
That's our bit.
[Chuckles]
The inconsiderate selfishness
of new Jenna
had overtaken my attempt
to bring back the old one.
I had blown my responsibility
as the designated driver,
and relegated everyone
to an impromptu sleepover,
which wasn't how
I had envisioned
spending the night at Matty's.
Hey.
Do you need another blanket?
But Matty's bed
was already occupied.
_
♪ Set my silly little heart
on fire ♪
♪ became my desire ♪
♪ you stood me up,
up, up, up on my feet ♪
♪ you stood me up ♪
Did you clean up
the entire house?
- Almost.
- Muffins?
I found a mix.
What is going on here?
I thought I would
clean up the mess,
since I have been
an expert
at making them lately.
I'm sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
I've been a really bad friend.
I really missed you guys.
We've missed you too.
Um, does Hunter drink coffee?
I can make some.
Hunter, huh?
What, did you revisit
some history?
No, no.
She got really drunk
and threw up on herself,
so I cleaned her up
and I put her to bed.
She's not here.
I guess she took off
- when she sobered up.
- That's a bummer.
Yeah, not really.
I'd rather hang out
with someone else instead.
Turns out, I didn't need
to be old Jenna
to make amends
and get my life back.
Instead, I was aspiring to be
new-and-improved Jenna,
who finally knew
how to appreciate
what she had
before it was really gone.
[Cell phone chimes]
One new message.
Jenna, it's Miss Marks.
It's no longer appropriate
for you to contact me.
I've been fired.