Awkward. (2011–2016): Season 2, Episode 1 - Resolutions - full transcript

Last season on Awkward...

Nobody can know that I like you.

This came in the mail for you.

Jenna, you could disappear
and no one would notice.

"A Friend".

Sometimes, being a teenager
makes you want to die.

Aspirin take me away.

- Our daughter is suicidal.
- I didn't try to kill myself.

The looser wants us
to talk about her.

- I love that girl.
- Better hide the knives.

- What is the fascination with me?
- You have some serious backbone.



- I really like you.
- You're in an open relationship?

- Who the fuck invited you?
- I did.

He's taking you public.
Outing you as a couple.

Are you and Matty together?

Looks like
Matty invited a lot of people.

- You have to be home right away?
- I have a few hours to kill.

I'm not gonna hook up with Matty again
until we DTR'd.

- What are you talking about?
- Define the relationship.

You promised not to hook up again
without clarity.

You better get it soon,

before you're dumpster
humping without a safety net.

- Are we together?
- You're not the object of his affection.

- You're easy to talk to.
- I was just thinking the same thing.

- You think Matty knows Jake kissed me?
- No way, guys don't talk.



- I kissed Jenna Hamilton.
- What?

So you can sleep with me in private,
but you can't talk to me in public?

Figure out what you want Matty,
because I'm tired of being your secret.

I'm so glad I wrote you that letter.

Jake can't be trusted.

You'll never gonna be able to control
the things that happen to you, sweetheart.

But, you'll be able to control
how you feel.

The reason that
I keep bringing up our kiss

is because I like like you.

I was just nominated
for sophomore winter formal princess.

Ah, you just missed her.

And Rosati was the guy
you've been telling me about.

Yep, Jake's my date.

I think you're right.

It's too late.

Mom?

It was the night before Christmas

and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring...

Except for my mouse,

which wasn't wireless or working
and driving me insane,

because even my keyboard
was acting inane.

Using pluses for "t"s,
exclamations for "I"s,

I hoped Santa would bring
a laptop surprise.

Either pixels or print
my blog would be fine,

but I needed a break
to start thinking offline.

Thinking about what I found
post the dance.

Thinking how I found it by chance.

I finally unveiled
who had scripted the letter.

It was someone I knew...
Who should've known better.

Not Lissa,

not Ming,

not Tamara, not Sadie,

not Matty, not daddy,

but the lady who made me.

So for over a week,
I debated my action.

Would I forgive or forget?

Or focus on...
Distraction?

Like decorating five dozen cookies

with sugar and spice.

Or watching every movie
on pay-per-view.

Twice.

And when all else failed
to preoccupy my mind,

I would help Jake Rosati
work on his grind.

This is frustrating.
Maybe we should...

- Take off our clothes?
- Or go inside.

Before my dad gets suspicious.

Right.

It's getting late, I should go.

Only if you promise to open
my Christmas present tonight.

Ohoh. Where can I find it?

You should look for something
arriving via email.

Oh.

[Computer dings]

Considering vacation days
were like dog years,

Jake and I were already on
the verge of common law status.

So making us online official

seemed like a formality.

And yet, I was afraid.

Would Jake still accept me
if he knew my own mother didn't?

I need clarity and an...

Explanation?

Why do you need an explanation?

I'm not a douchebag.

- Am I?
- No.

But the jury was still out
on my mother.

Well, looks like we're all
wrapped up here, so...

Not so fast.

I have one more gift for you.

Oh, you missed the card.
Here.

"This is who you are."

I never want you to forget
how precious you are to me.

I couldn't.
She put it in writing.

Of the carefrontation kind.

Thanks.

This is something to remind you

how precious you are to me.

.- how should I dress tonight?

Sexified.

It's new year's Eve
and you have a date,

which means you're guaranteed
to swap saliva.

The only thing I'm guaranteed
is a Prozac attack.

I can't believe Ricky's
holed up in Havasu

with his grandma
when we're finally commit legit.

Oh, you guys DTR'ed?

He sexted me a picture of his hand

with a note that says, "we miss you."

That pretty much sums it up.
We're together.

Now, you, you need an outfit
that plays up your assets.

Oh! Borrow something from your mom.

Guaranteed she has something
to boost your bitties.

I'm not sure my mom's style
sends the right message...

With words or clothes.

I still hadn't told tee
that my mom wrote the letter.

I hadn't told anyone,

'cause I didn't want anybody
to hate my mom

until I figured out if I did.

- Hello?
- I'll figure something out.

See you soon.

Where you going?

A party.

Well, your dad and I were just gonna

- take you to a movie.
- Sorry.

- Are you going with Jake?
- Yep.

- Is he a good kisser?
- Mom!

Well, it wasn't that long ago
I was your age.

You can talk to me...
About anything.

I wasn't ready to talk
until I figured out what to say.

So the only way to get my mom
out of my hair

was to do it.

I gotta do my hair.

- Need help?
- Nope.

If I was a paranoid person,

I would say that
you're trying to avoid me.

Why would you think that?

[Turns blow-dryer on]

Well, for starters,

you've been really distant
the last two weeks.

I can tell when something's
eating you up,

and I think I know what it is.

I detected something missing,

and realize you must've seen it.

This is really hard for me to say,

so I'll just come out with it.

She was about to confess.

I noticed you and Jake
weren't online official.

It takes a while for boys to commit.

Which is why you have
to manipulate them into it.

Do you know his password?

[Turns blow-dryer higher]

In four short months, I had evolved.

I'd gone from that girl
who tried to kill herself

to that girl who had a date
on new year's Eve.

But for some reason,
new Jenna still couldn't shake

feeling like the old one.

"What's left to be resolved?"

Happy new year!
Ha ha.

Hi, hi.
Welcome.

I hadn't spoken to Matty
since the dance,

and I was worried
that seeing him would be...

Weird.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Let's get a drink in your hand.

Debrief. Now!

Matty didn't even flinch.

He just jet skied passed
his heartache.

Yeah, those fist bumps
were not pained.

Okay, I got the memo.
He's fine, but I'm not.

Someone's reading my blog.
I got a comment tonight.

- How?
- It's on a public site.

I knew it.
Which one?

It doesn't matter now.
I hid it.

Why'd you make it public
in the first place?

I don't know!
I didn't really think about it.

It was anonymous...
Sort of.

So it's not one of you guys?

Like you wouldn't know if it was me.

- I can't keep a secret for [bleep].
- True.

So do you think it's someone we know?

Most likely,
it's some creepy old perv.

- Like Peng Huang.
- Who?

My dad.
I found porn on my laptop.

[Gasp] Ew!

Your dad tickles his pickle
on your...

Judge all you want, but at least n

I have leverage...
Sort of.

I'm still getting picked up
before midnight.

So while you all kiss each other,

I'm gonna be kissing my pillow.

With your dad's jolly juice.

On that visual, I'm getting a drink.

Hi!

Look, it's a new year,

and I wanna clear the air,

start fresh, and repent for my sins.

Jenna!

I've sinned against you.

And I'm sorry.

Great.
I accept your apology.

But I mean, I did
really awful things to you.

I told everyone you were a whore.

Did you start the "Hamilton's
a whore" group online?

As of tomorrow, it's coming down.

Great, thanks.
I forgive you.

- Good talk.
- Oh.

You seem a little off balance.

And I think I know why.

At first, I considered it
temporary insanity

when you locked me
out of the bathroom.

But since you haven't responded
to any of my calls or texts,

I can only conclude you're
bordering on insubordination.

That said, I'm over it.

You're forgiven.

- You threatened to shave my head.
- This is what we do.

You step out of line,
and I smack you down.

Then you get me a latte.

Well, not this year.

So you're willing
to be friends with Hamil-toe

- and not me?
- Exactly.

By the way, you look skinny.

That is something
a friend would say, bitch!

The powder was so fresh, man.

Except on the backside
when I bailed down some ice.

Best snowboarding of my life.

- Wish I could've been there.
- No doubt.

So what'd you do over the break?

Oh, not much.
Just chilled.

- Oh, with Hamilton?
- A little.

You guys together now?

[Phone rings]

Uh, no, we're not official
or anything.

Just been hanging out.

- Hello?
- Hey, girl!

Just wanted to say happy NYE!

Valerie?
Is everything okay?

You've never called my cell before.

Well, Jenna,
there is a first for everything.

A first for calling your best girl,

a first for being stood up.

- Were you stood up?
- No! No, God, no.

I meant, in the handicapped sense

when someone has to lift someone
else out of a wheelchair.

Anyway, where are you
celebrating tonight?

Uh, I'm a Matty McKibben's.

Right.
New year's is for lovers.

- I'm here with Jake.
- Are you sure that's a good idea?

I mean, someone might get
the wrong impression,

like I had a date.

- Valerie, I have to go!
- Why!

Look, I let the cat out.

Need some help?

Sure.

So did you have a good holiday?

- Yeah, it was great. You?
- Yeah.

So... I know I probably don't
have to say this,

but I'm really sorry about
what happened at the dance.

I'm hoping we can be friends
once we get some closure.

Not that I'm suggesting
that you need closure.

But...

I do.

So... are we closed?

No.

I want another chance.

{pub}- You want another chance?
- I know I made a lot of mistakes.

- But I won't screw up again.
- I came with Jake.

But you can stay...

With me.

It's not that easy.

I know you haven't forgotten
about me, Jenna,

or you wouldn't be here right now.

It was true.
I hadn't forgotten about Matty.

But I also hadn't entirely
forgiven him.

Jake said you guys
were just hanging out.

He'll understand once we explain it.

- We?
- Or me.

I'll tell him.

Okay, just meet me here
at midnight...

And we'll start over.
And don't worry about Jake.

He'll understand once...
He knows.

Once he knows what?

That I was with you first.

Technically, Matty was with me first.

And technically,
Jake and I weren't official.

But if everything came down
to technicalities,

I was technically confused.

I'm confused too.

When did you ask her
to be online official?

Almost a week ago.
And she hasn't even responded.

[Scoffs]
Puh-lease.

Ricky's left my request in cyberspace

for, like, three months.

- I should really ask him why.
- Do it now.

Get a little resolution
before the new year.

He's with his grandma.

Well, if that's true,
then she's looking pretty good.

Ricky!
You lying sack of crap!

I better lie in wait nearby
to deal with the aftermath.

Ooh! Hey, stranger.

Where've you been?

I accidentally let the cat out.

I don't think Matty has a cat.

Any more.

Which is...
Even more reason to find it.

It has already been forgotten.

And what about you?
Have you forgotten?

- Forgotten what?
- To respond to my request.

Oh, right!
I was totally gonna do that.

Right after I found the cat.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

Kitty!

[Gasp] Kitty?
Kitty?

Is there a kitty?
[Gasp] I love kitties.

Meow.
Kitty? Meow.

- Meow!
- Get up, there's no cat.

- So I've been thinking.
- It was a first.

I know how we can be even.

- We are even.
- No, no.

I'm talking old testament even.

It's called an eye for an eye,

but we're gonna make it
a cheek for a cheek.

I slapped you,
so you have to slap me.

- Uh-uh, I'm not gonna slap you.
- Come on, slap me!

[Gasp]
Wow, I didn't even feel that.

Beautiful, I swear,

my grandma dropped me off early
to surprise you.

Call her.
She'll confirm my story.

Your story?
[Chuckles]

You just admitted
that you're making this up.

Eat [bleep], Ricky.

15 minutes to midnight!

They were 15 minutes
that I would never forget.

Jake needed acceptance,
Matty needed an answer,

and I needed some air.

[Car horn honking]

I'm here to help you
with your crisis.

You know about my crisis?

With your cat.
Don't worry, we'll find her.

Or is it a him?
Tomcats can be a little tricky.

Which is why I brought
reinforcements.

Val...
The cat's imaginary.

So is my relationship.

Oh!

"J," I am tore up from the floor up,

beat up from the feet up,

and I need a check up
from the neck up.

Alok stood me up.

I'm sorry to lay this on you
but Susan's out of town.

Who's Susan?
Your therapist?

No, my psychic.

I'm not good at following
my own intuition

when it comes to relationships,

so I need her guidance.

And there's no way
to reach her by phone?

At that moment,

I could've used a little
guidance from Susan myself.

No, she won't give out her cell.

Oh, "j"...

I feel like such a tool.

Alok said he wanted to ring in
the new year together,

so I bought a new dress
and I got my hair done.

And now it's unraveled.

No. It's still intact.
But my heart isn't.

- He didn't even call you?
- No, he did a few times.

But... I don't know.

I just... I don't wanna hear
his excuses, you know?

I've heard 'em all before.
My ex had a million of 'em.

Who bangs their head
and has to go to the doctor?

There was no blood.
Just a bump and blurred vision.

He could've just said he didn't
wanna see stars on ice.

Val, this is your ex,
not Mr. Mishra, right?

Yeah.

You can't let your past
disappoint cloud your judgment.

It's holding you back.

And maybe my past disappointment
was holding me back too.

- I just didn't know from who.
- I should call him.

Do it.

Get out of my car.

Happy new year's!

10!

All: 9...

8...

7...

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1.

{pub}What are you doing alone in here?

Um, getting drunk.

I just got denied.

Ah, let me guess.
Jenna Hamilton.

Yeah.
How'd you know?

It's [bleep] obvious.

You've been drooling
over the freak for months.

Why? I'll never know.

You probably have
some sort of savior complex.

So what happened?

Did she dis you again
for the nilla wafer?

Yup.

And now I've been relegated
to second string.

Just tell me, how do I just
watch from the sidelines?

- Get a therapist.
- Come on, sades.

- I need to talk.
- Then talk.

But not to me.

Why?

Are you so dense that you can't see

that I have had
a crush on you forever?

And now you want me
to make you feel better

because you finally tasted
the bitter pill of rejection?

Well, I won't.

Welcome to my club.
It's a lonely, sad, dep...

So... what are your resolutions?

I didn't know.
There were too many to process.

This year, I'm not even
gonna say his name.

Ricky's dead to me.
Oh, damn it!

I just said Ricky.
[Bleep]!

This year, I'm gonna
let Jesus take the wheel.

'Cause I'm way too drunk to drive.

Ow!

This year, I'm gonna be on top.

Unless I'm in
a monogamous relationship.

I just decided I'm not gonna
make any resolutions.

I'm just gonna
let the year surprise me.

Oh... my... God.

Oh, my God.

You've got to be kidding me.

You're totally overrated.

Or...

Am I?

This is my grandma.
Talk to her.

Hello?
Yes, but...

He did?

He is a nice boy.

You too.

Oh! I should wash my mouth out.
I puked in the sink.

Anybody have any gum?

You, come here!

- That was...
- Amazing.

I know.
You're welcome.

- You ready to go?
- Yes.

I'm not letting you leave.

Not until you...

Happy new year.

Thank you.

{pub}Thanks for coming with me tonight.

Mm-hmm.

And, uh, thank you for the...
Condoms?

Who got condoms for Christmas?

Me.
They're from my dad.

Wow!
Well, thank you, Mr. Hamilton.

Looks like I'm about
to have a good year.

Can't believe your dad
gave you condoms.

Yeah, it's kind of his thing.

He gave them to
the last guy I dated too.

Oh.

So you use 'em?

Yes... no.

Not any more, but I have.

Cool.

If it makes you feel
any better, I was in love...

You know, when I used them.

That doesn't make me feel any better.

Do you want out?

No.

I'm all in.

But are you?

It was official.

We had DTR'ed for the world to see.

And I was letting go of my fear.

My fear of rejection.

Because I had nothing to hide.

And even if only one virtual stranger

knew the whole truth,

it was time to go public

with what I could
neither forgive nor forget.

Yes.

This came in the mail for you.

And... she's finally doing her hair

now that she has a boyf...

Sarah, I gotta go.

This season on Awkward.

Bad news, dudes.
We've been TMZ'ed.

Can you imagine
all the scandalous stuff

that's been caught on tape?

I am barely over my suicide stigma.

I can't be known as the girl
who hooked up on tape.

Now I have to tell Jake about Matty.

Before he finds out the hard way.

- Jenna, I don't like secrets.
- Secrets? What secrets?

The guy you slept with.

I'm totally jealous of him.

I hate to admit this,

but Matty might be trying
to home-wreck you.

You think I'm trying to lure you
away from Jake?

- Yes!
- You're crazy!

You guys seen that girl
Matty's been hanging out with?

- Yes...
- Yes...

- Do you think she's attractive?
- Yes!

- So, what's up with you two anyway?
- She's cool.

We know you were in love with Matty.

But when did you know?

- After we had sex.
- Okay.

You have to have sex with Jake,
then you'll know.

I think we should have sex.

Always be a lady in the street,

quick in the shits,

quiet over the P.S. System.

You're going to church camp?

If they tell you to drink
and take a nap,

don't.

- You're saved.
- I really need to clear my head.

When I'm going to camp,

it can't be fixed by stepping my past
in the wrong kind of time.

Timing, it was everything.
And my time had arrived.

As my best friend, if you knew something,
you'd tell me, right?

Yeah.

Say it. Say it.

I think our timing is off.

Maybe the timing's finally right.

Are you gonna stroke out?

Do you need a trauma blanket?

You need to choose.

Him, or me.