Awkward. (2011–2016): Season 1, Episode 6 - Queen Bee-atches - full transcript

- JENNA, YOU COULD DISAPPEAR,

AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE.

- EVERYONE THINKS I TRIED
TO KILL MYSELF,

AND THERE'S A LAME GUY
SELLING T-SHIRTS.

- I DON'T THINK YOU TRIED
TO KILL YOURSELF.

- JENNA, I LIKE YOU.

I'M JUST NOT SURE I'M READY
TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

- IT WAS SATURDAY,
BUT INSTEAD OF KICKING BACK

MY MOTHER WAS FORCING ME
TO ATTEND A PARTY

THROWN BY THE ELITE
MOTHER/DAUGHTER CHARITY LEAGUE

KNOWN AS THE KNICK-KNACKERS.



UNFORTUNATELY,
THREE SPOTS WERE OPEN,

AND I WAS SICK AT THE THOUGHT
OF ACTUALLY LANDING ONE.

'CAUSE THE KNICK-KNACKERS

WEREN'T OBSESSED
WITH HELPING THE HOMELESS.

THEY WERE OBSESSED
WITH PLASTIC.

PLASTIC WAS THE POWER CURRENCY
OF PALOS VERDES,

IN THE SKIN
AND IN THE WALLET.

TO BE A CERTIFIED P.V. MOM

MEANT YOU HAD TO ROCK
A BODACIOUS BODY

AND A BLACK AMEX,

NEITHER OF WHICH
WERE EARNED BY A DAY JOB.

TO A P.V. MOM,
"WORKING" MEANT WORKING OUT

OR WORKING A ROOM

OR BEING A KNICK-KNACKER.



AND MY MOM WAS GONNA
STAY UP IN MY GRILL

UNTIL SHE BECAME ONE.

- SWEETIE, PLEASE TRY AND
MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.

- I'M TRYING.
- TRY HARDER.

- DID WE MISS ANYTHING?

TAMARA WAS POSITIVELY
PARANOID GETTING READY.

- 'CAUSE YOU HIJACKED
MY FAVE FOOTIES.

- MOM, I DID YOU A SOLID.

YOU CAN'T WEAR SANDALS WITH
A TWEAKED TOE STITCH.

- DO THESE WEDGES
LOOK CHEAPSKY?

- NO, NOT AT ALL.
NO, THEY LOOK VERY CHIC.

- LOVE YOU.

OKAY, NOW IT'S TIME
TO DIVIDE...

- AND CONQUER.

- WHERE IS YOUR NAME TAG?

- I'M TRYING TO KEEP
A LOW PRO.

HEED OFF ANY
EMBARRASSMENT FOR YOU.

- TOO LATE.

- AS ALWAYS,
I WAS POWERLESS

TO MY MOTHER'S
SUBTLE PERSUASION.

I WAS ALSO STRANGELY
POWERLESS TO THE FEELING

THAT THE HOUSE BELONGED TO
SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED.

OR WORSE,
EVIL INCARNATE.

MO TO THE FO.

I WAS IN SADIE SAXTON'S HOUSE.

- YOU KNOW THIS IS
A CHARITY LEAGUE,

NOT A CHARITY, RIGHT?

- CAN I GET A NAME TAG?

- WHEN YOU CUT YOUR NAME
ACROSS YOUR WRIST,

IS IT WITH ONE "N" OR TWO?

- HA. TWO.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- WHOA THERE.

- HI, I DIDN'T EXPECT
TO SEE YOU HERE.

- JUST A LITTLE PART-TIME GIG.

SADIE HOOKED ME UP.
SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU WANNA BE A KNICK-KNACKER?

- NO, I DO NOT.

MY MOTHER DOES.

I'M HERE UNDER DURESS.

- WELL, YOU LOOK NICE.

- I DO?
- YEAH.

- THANK YOU.

SO DID YOU GET MY TEXT?

- ABOUT HANGING OUT TONIGHT,
YES.

BUT I...
BETTER GET BACK TO WORK.

- IS MCKIBBEN SCHLOCKING
COCKTAILS?

- YES, WE JUST TALKED.

BUT HE SEEMED
A LITTLE DISTANT.

DO I LOOK LIKE A HOOKER?

MY MOM MADE ME WEAR MASCARA.

OR DO YOU THINK MATTY KNOWS
JAKE KISSED ME?

- NO WAY.
GUYS DON'T TALK.

PLUS, YOU SAID
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

I'D SAY THE FREAK-A-DEAK
WAS IN RESPONSE

TO YOUR NAME TAG.

- BITCH.

- [laughs]

YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL
TO BE KIND.

- WHY DOES THAT EXPRESSION
SOUND SO FAMILIAR?

- IT'S NUMBER SEVEN
ON THE LETTER.

- YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL
TO BE KIND.

both: SADIE WROTE THE LETTER!

[glass clinks]
- WELCOME, LADIES.

I AM DARLENE SAXTON,

PRESIDENT OF
THE KNICK-KNACKERS,

AND THIS IS MY BEAUTIFUL
AND DEDICATED DAUGHTER SADIE.

- BEAUTIFUL?
QUESTIONABLE.

DEDICATED?
NOT A QUESTION.

SADIE WAS DEDICATED
TO MAKING MY LIFE HELL.

- AFTER TODAY'S ORIENTATION,

A FEW OF YOU WILL BE INVITED
TO JOIN A CHAPTER EVENT,

AND FROM THERE THREE OF YOU
WILL BE INITIATED.

- OKAY, GO.
PRETEND TO FIT IN.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- IT WAS THE MOTHER
OF MY ENEMY.

I LIKE IT.
IS IT GESSICK?

- YOU HAVE A GOOD EYE.

MY HUSBAND, HE THINKS
IT'S PRETENTIOUS VANDALISM.

BUT REALLY, IT'S MY HUSBAND
WHO'S PRETENTIOUS.

- DARLENE SEEMED COOL.

MAYBE SADIE WAS ADOPTED.

- I JUST BOUGHT ANOTHER PIECE.

COME.

[mouths word]

- YOUR HOME IS SPECTACULAR.

- I KNOW.

BUT IT'LL NEED
A SERIOUS SCRUBBING

AFTER ALL THE TRASH LEAVES.

- IT MUST BE FRUSTRATING

PUTTING ON A SHOW
WITH GIRLS YOU DON'T LIKE.

- I DON'T.
I TELL IT LIKE I SEE IT.

AND AS I SEE IT,
THERE'S A GIRL HERE

WHO SHOULD BE SHOT.

- YOUR HAIR
HAS SO MUCH SHINE.

- THANK YOU,
IT'S NATURAL.

- I WISH MY DAUGHTER
HAD THAT SHINE.

DO YOU KNOW JENNA?

- ONLY BY REPUTATION.

SHE SEEMS VERY SPECIAL.

- OH, ESPECIALLY WHEN
SHE DOES HER HAIR.

- SO WHY IS SHE--
NEVER MIND.

- NO, YOU CAN
ASK ME ANYTHING.

- IS SHE MENTALLY ILL?

- HONEY, CAN YOU FIX MY FRIEND
UP WITH A DRINK PLEASE?

EXCUSE ME.

AH, SABRINA.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- I WANTED TO HANG OUT
WITH HIM.

- GINGER ALE?
- ANY GINGER ALE DOWN THERE?

- I HADN'T SEEN JAKE
SINCE HE'D IMPULSIVELY

SHOVED HIS TONGUE
DOWN MY THROAT.

AND BY THE LOOK OF HIM,

YOU'D HAVE THOUGHT
I NEVER GAVE IT BACK.

- BABE.

ANYWAY, BABE,
MAKE SURE YOU GRAB

A BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS
FOR LATER, 'KAY?

ILY!

- DUDE.
WHAT'S GOING ON?

MISS MONTGOMERY
FEEL YOU UP TOO?

- OKAY, LOOK,
HERE'S THE DEAL.

OKAY, BUT YOU GOTTA PROMISE

YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL
ANYBODY, OKAY?

- YEAH, PUT AWAY YOUR [bleep]
AND TELL ME.

- I KISSED JENNA HAMILTON.

- WHAT?
- JUST--

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- SNOOPING.
I FOUND SATAN'S ROOM.

- OH, WE SHOULD NOT
BE IN HERE.

- OF COURSE WE SHOULD.

THE COW HAS PERPETUALLY
TRIED SABOTAGING YOUR LIFE.

TIME TO SABOTAGE HERS.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- I'M GONNA PEE ON HER BED.
- YOU CAN'T.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'LL LEAVE DNA.

SHE HAS STRAIGHT A'S?

- MADE SENSE.

TO BE A RAGING BITCH,
SADIE HAD TO BE CLEVER.

AND TO BE CLEVER,
SHE HAD TO BE SMART.

OF COURSE.

SHE RIDES HORSES.

- DUDE, HOW BIG
IS THAT HORSE?

O.M.G.

I FOUND THE MOTHER LODE.

- THAT'S NOT COOL.
THAT'S HER DIARY.

- WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN HERE?

- ADJUSTING.

JENNA SAT ON A VOTIVE,
SO WE HAD TO HIDE THE HOLE.

ALL DONE.
NO MORE ASS CRACK.

- OKAY!

- THE DIARY WAS SEDUCTIVE,

AND YET READING IT
JUST DIDN'T--

- AHH!
- SIT RIGHT.

- I THINK OUR CHANCES
ARE STRONG.

DID YOU SEE HOW MUCH DARLENE
TOOK A LIKING TO YOU?

WE ARE ALL BUT IN.

- ARE YOU SURE
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?

WE CAN VOLUNTEER
ON OUR OWN.

- YEAH, BUT THEN WHAT'S
IN IT FOR US?

SWEETIE, ARE YOU
FEELING TOO MUCH PRESSURE?

MRS. SAXTON'S
DAUGHTER MENTIONED--

- SADIE.
WHAT DID SADIE MENTION?

- SHE SAID YOU WERE ACTING
A LITTLE STRANGE AT SCHOOL.

ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?

SHE SEEMED REALLY WORRIED.
- I'M SURE SHE IS.

BUT THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT, MOM.

WE ARE GONNA ROCK
THE KNICK-KNACKERS.

- WE ARE!

NOW I AM GONNA GO
ROCK DINNER.

- ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH.

I WAS TIRED
OF BEING POWERLESS

TO SADIE'S SINISTER
SAVAGERY.

IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO EMPLOY
MY OWN MEAN GIRL AMMUNITION.

BUT IT TURNS OUT,

I DIDN'T JUST HAVE
SADIE'S DIARY.

I HAD HER FOOD JOURNAL.

AND THE ONE THING SADIE
WOULD NEVER WANT TO GET OUT,

HER WEIGHT.

- IT'S HER FOOD DIARY?

- AND A LOG
OF HER WEIGHT.

SHE'S ACTUALLY MAKING
A LOT OF STRIDES.

- I GOTTA SEE IT.
WHERE IS IT?

- AT HOME.
I COULDN'T RISK LOSING IT.

I MEAN, NOW THAT I HAVE
THE UPPER HAND,

I NEED TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO PLAY IT.

- YOU PLAY YOUR HAND BY LETTING
HER KNOW YOU HAVE A HAND.

THEN YOU HOLD IT
OVER HER HEAD

SO SHE'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE.

- SO I JUST WALK UP TO HER
AND SAY,

"HEY, SADIE,
I HAVE YOUR FOOD JOURNAL.

AND YEAH,
I STOLE IT."

THAT'LL GO OVER WELL.

- THINK ABOUT
THE LITTLE PEOPLE.

SHE'S NOT JUST RUINING
YOUR LIFE.

SHE'S RUINING EVERYONE'S.

- YOU SUCK AT BEING ANOREXIC.

TIME TO EMBRACE BULIMIA.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

IF YOU JUST ADMIT
YOUR PARENTS ARE COUSINS,

PEOPLE WILL STOP MAKING FUN
OF YOUR LEARNING DISABILITY.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

- BE MUY EXCELENTE

AT GARDENING
OR BUSING TABLES,

AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET
TO STAY IN THIS COUNTRY.

DE NADA.

- J, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
TO BE A HERO.

- YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER.

- YEAH, BUT WITH POWER
COMES RESPONSIBILITY.

I HAVE TO BE STRATEGIC.

WHAT I NEED IS A PLAN.

AND A MATURE PERSPECTIVE.

- SOMETHING EATING YOU UP?

- ACTUALLY, YES,
THERE'S THIS GIRL,

THIS VERY MEAN GIRL,

WHO'S BEEN OUT TO GET ME,

AND RECENTLY I CAME
INTO POSSESSION

OF SOMETHING
THAT COULD BRING HER DOWN.

BUT I'M NOT READY TO RESORT
TO FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE,

AND YET I'M NOT REALLY SURE
TALKING THINGS OUT

IS A GOOD IDEA.

- YOU DID THE RIGHT THING
BY COMING TO ME.

WHO IS THIS PROBLEM CHILD?

- SADIE SAXTON.

- OH, MY.

OH, MY, OH, MY,
OH, MY, OH, MY, OH, MY.

AND YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE
WITH BLACKMAIL?

UGH, I CAN SEE
WHY YOU'RE IN A PICKLE.

YOU AND I BOTH KNOW HOW
MANIPULATIVE SADIE CAN BE,

AND I BET
THAT MAKES YOU ANGRY.

YOU PROBABLY
WANT TO FIGHT HER.

- YEAH, NO,
IT MAKES ME ANGRY,

BUT I DON'T--

- BUT SHE IS BIGGER
THAN YOU,

SHE IS STRONGER THAN YOU,
AND SHE'S A WHOLE LOT MEANER.

SO IF YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT HER,
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT DIRTY.

PULL HER HAIR,
SCRATCH HER EYES OUT,

PUNCH HER IN THOSE
BIG OLD FUN BAGS.

BOOM, BOOM.

- YOU'RE ENCOURAGING ME
TO FIGHT HER?

- OF COURSE NOT.

I AM A PROFESSIONAL.

[mouths words]

- ARE YOU SURE THERE ISN'T
ANOTHER SOLUTION?

CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?

- UH, SEE,
THAT'S A TRICKY SITCH.

ON THE ONE HAND SADIE HAS
HURT A LOT OF PEOPLE,

BUT ON THE OTHER
SHE COULD HURT ME.

SEE HOW THAT'S
A CONFLICT OF INTEREST?

[shreds paper]

- SO YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA DO ABOUT JENNA.

- THERE'S NOTHING TO DO.
- NOT INTO HER?

- IT WAS JUST AN IMPULSIVE
KISS, MAN, COME ON.

- A REAL KISS
OR LIKE A PECK?

- I CAN'T REMEMBER.

- PROBABLY MEANS
IT WASN'T VERY GOOD.

WHO STARTED IT,
YOU OR HER?

- WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
- IT DOESN'T.

JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU
SORT THINGS OUT,

CONSIDERING YOU HAVE
A GIRLFRIEND AND ALL.

- WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?

- I DON'T.

I'M JUST TRYING
TO HELP YOU, [bleep].

- SO YOU THINK I SHOULD
SAY SOMETHING TO JENNA?

- NO!

NO, JUST LET IT GO.

YEAH, SHE'S PROBABLY
NOT THINKING ABOUT IT.

OR YOU.

- [chuckles]

- RIGHT?

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

THEY'RE JUST TERRIBLE
AND ELITIST SNOBS.

- AND NAMED AFTER CRAP
THAT CLUTTERS UP YOUR HOUSE.

SEE, NOW YOU DON'T HAVE
TO CLUTTER UP YOUR CALENDAR

WITH ALL OF THEIR B.S.
CHARITY EVENTS.

- FOR SHIZ.
WE'RE BETTER THAN THEM.

- PFFT, WE ARE.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA GO HOME

AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA
LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT.

- MOM, I AM SO SORRY
WE DIDN'T GET IN.

THAT TOTALLY BLOWS.

- IT DOES.

BUT NOT FOR US!

WE MADE IT TO THE NEXT ROUND!

I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SAY
ANYTHING IN FRONT OF TAM

BECAUSE SHE WAS
FEELING SO BAD.

AREN'T YOU EXCITED?

- I AM ON THE INSIDE.

- OH, SWEETIE, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT NOT HAVING TAMARA AROUND.

THIS IS GONNA BE
A GREAT OPPORTUNITY

FOR YOU TO MEET
NEW FRIENDS.

OH, LIKE THAT
SWEET, SWEET SADIE.

- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT
CROSSING ME, CONSUELA.

'CAUSE THE LAST HOUSEKEEPER
THAT RATTED ME OUT

WAS CONVENIENTLY "DEPORTATE."

- [gasps]
SADIE!

[knock on door]

- DON'T COME IN.

I SAID DON'T COME IN!

I DON'T NEED
A LECTURE RIGHT NOW.

- WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE
THE LIFE YOU WANT

IF YOU KEEP UP
THESE BAD HABITS.

- YOU COULD HAVE SCORED
ANY MAN YOU WANTED.

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PICK
A MAN WITH A FAT GENE?

- HE WASN'T FAT
WHEN WE GOT MARRIED.

- WELL, THANKS TO YOU AND
YOUR LACK OF DUE DILIGENCE,

I'M GONNA DIE ALONE
BECAUSE YOU FELL IN LOVE

WITH A MAN
WITH STRONG RECESSIVE CHUB.

- YOU WON'T DIE ALONE.

- RIGHT.

I FORGOT ABOUT PATTY,
MY LESBIAN LOVER

WHO'D RATHER EAT PIZZA
THAN HAVE SEX.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE SURROUNDED

BY ALL OF THE GIRLS
WHO CAN EAT EVERYTHING

AND DO EVERYTHING,
AND THEY'RE PERFECT.

- OH, PUMPKIN.

- THEY NEVER HAVE
TO THINK TWICE

ABOUT CALORIES
OR HOW THEY'LL LOOK

IN THEIR PLUS-SIZE
PARTY DRESSES,

WHICH ARE REALLY HARD
TO FIND BY THE WAY

BECAUSE THE ONLY STORES
THAT SELL SEXY DRESSES

IN MY SIZE
ARE CHOLA STORES,

AND I'M NOT A HOOCHIE,

AND I DON'T WEAR
TANGERINE WELL.

I JUST WANT TO WAKE UP

AND WEAR WHATEVER I FEEL
LIKE WEARING

'CAUSE IT ALL FITS

AND LOOKS GOOD.

BUT INSTEAD I'M POWERLESS
TO THE SAUSAGES

THAT DOUBLE AS MY ARMS

AND THE JENNY CRAIG
THAT LIVES INSIDE MY HEAD.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD
I'M TRYING, MOM.

I'M REALLY TRYING.

- HONEY, I KNOW YOU ARE.

AND YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL

IF YOU TRACK WHAT YOU EAT.

ARE YOU STILL
WRITING IT ALL DOWN?

GOOD.

HONEY, YOU KNOW WHO MIGHT BE
A GOOD PERSON TO TALK TO?

JENNA HAMILTON.

SHE HAS A DARLING FIGURE.

- DON'T TELL ANYONE.

- SO IT'S
A KNICK-KNACKER SECRET?

- TELL CLARISSA THAT THE NEXT
EVENT IS ACTUALLY FORMAL

EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN'T
SAY IT ON THE INVITE.

ALL IN-THE-KNOW
MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS

ARE GONNA BE DECKED OUT.

- AM I IN-THE-KNOW?

- YES.
I JUST TOLD YOU.

- SUDDENLY,
I KNEW THE WAY IN.

OR I HAD A WAY OUT
IF I DIDN'T TELL MY MOTHER.

BUT I WAS A SUCKER.

- THANK GOD
YOU HAVE THE INSIDE TRACK.

COULD YOU IMAGINE
IF WE WERE THE ONLY ONES

TO SHOW UP WEARING JEANS?

IT WOULD BE HUMILIATING.

- YES, WHICH BEGS
THE QUESTION,

WHY WOULD YOU WANT
TO BE AFFILIATED

WITH HORRIBLE WOMEN WHO WANT
TO HUMILIATE EACH OTHER?

- BECAUSE...

BEING A KNICK-KNACKER
MEANS THAT

I WON'T JUST BE THAT GIRL WHO
GOT KNOCKED UP IN HIGH SCHOOL

OR THAT GIRL
WHO DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE

AND MAKE SOMETHING
OF HERSELF.

IF WE GET IN,

I WILL FINALLY BE THE PERSON

THAT I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO BE.

- YOU'LL BE A KNICK-KNACKER.

- AND I'LL BE IN.

- APPARENTLY
MEAN GIRLS DON'T GROW UP.

THEY JUST GET OLDER.

MOM, YOU CAN STILL
GO TO COLLEGE.

- YEAH, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT?

I'M TOO OLD TO PLEDGE
A SORORITY.

I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I'M GONNA WEAR!

IT'S DRESSY
WITHOUT BEING TOO FANCY.

OKAY.

[conversation stops]

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.

- I CANNOT BELIEVE
YOU PURPOSEFULLY

SABOTAGED US.

HI.
- I DIDN'T.

I SWEAR, I HEARD SADIE SAY
IT WAS A FORMAL EVENT.

- I THOUGHT SHE TOLD YOU.

- WELL, WE'RE NOT REALLY
ON SPEAKING TERMS.

SHE SORTA HATES ME.
- NOW I GET IT.

YOU MADE ME LOOK
LIKE AN IDIOT

SO YOU COULD
TURN YOUR NOSE UP TO HER

AND THIS ENTIRE
ORGANIZATION

THAT YOU NEVER REALLY
WANTED TO JOIN.

JUST SELFISH.

OH, GOD, GREAT!

NOW I'VE RUINED MY DRESS.

- WAY TO BE SENSITIVE
TO THE CAUSE.

- SADIE HAD SET ME UP.

AND I WAS FINALLY PREPARED
TO EXACT REVENGE.

OR WAS I?

SADIE DIDN'T JUST HATE ME.
SHE HATED HERSELF.

SHE WAS AS POWERLESS
TO THE STIGMA OF HER WEIGHT

AS I WAS TO THE STIGMA
OF MY FAKE SUICIDE.

WAS IT POSSIBLE THAT WE
HAD SOMETHING IN COMMON?

[bleep] THAT.

I HAD TO TAKE
THE BITCH DOWN.

[school bell rings]

- HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO MOCK THE HOMELESS?

- HEARTLESS MUCH?

- T, YOU KNOW WHAT
I'VE BEEN CRAVING LATELY?

FLUFFERNUTTERS.

I HAVE A REAL WEAKNESS
FOR THEM.

- YOU OOZING--

- SKITCH.

- GIVE ME
MY JOURNAL BACK

OR I WILL MAKE
YOUR LIFE MISERABLE.

- WELL, YOU KIND OF
ALREADY DO THAT,

SO HOW 'BOUT MAKING
MY LIFE A LITTLE BETTER?

HOW 'BOUT ENSURING I GET
A BID FOR THE KNICK-KNACKERS?

- HOW 'BOUT YOU GOT
[bleep] YOURSELF?

GIVE IT BACK.
- HOW DO YOU WANT IT?

POSTED ALL OVER THE WALLS
OR OVER THE WEB?

- WE COULD MAKE HER
A COPY OF IT.

- THAT'S A GREAT IDEA,
BUT WHY NOT SHARE THE WEALTH?

- YOU WOULDN'T DARE.

- YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL
TO BE KIND.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

- * WELL THE DEVIL
GOT MY NUMBER *

* AND THE DEVIL
GOT MY SIZE *

* AND THE DEVIL
GOT MY HEAD *

* AND THE DEVIL
GOT MY EYES *

* I'M TRYING HARD TO GET UP

- LET'S WELCOME
OUR NEW KNICK-KNACKERS.

- I HAD SEALED THE DEAL
FOR MY MOM.

SO IT WAS TIME
TO SEAL ONE FOR MYSELF.

ONE MORE THING.

WHY DID YOU WRITE ME
THAT EVIL LETTER?

- WHAT LETTER?

- YOU KNOW, THE ONE
YOU WERE TOO COWARDLY

TO SIGN YOUR NAME TO.

- IF I WROTE YOU
AN EVIL LETTER,

YOU BETTER BELIEVE
I'D SIGN MY NAME.

- SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.

BUT IF SADIE DIDN'T
WRITE THE LETTER, WHO DID?

- HOW DO I KNOW
YOU DIDN'T MAKE A COPY?

- YOU DON'T.

GUESS YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO TRUST ME.

WHERE SADIE'S POWER
WAS ABOUT BEING CRUEL,

I DECIDED MINE
WAS ABOUT BEING KIND.

- HEY.

- HEY.

- LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE IN
THE CLEAR WITH HAMILTON.

GOOD THING YOU DIDN'T
MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

- YEAH, I WAS THINKING
THE SAME THING.

YOU KNOW, LIKE IF I WOULDA
SAID SOMETHING,

IT MIGHT ENCOURAGE HER,
YOU KNOW?

- YEAH.
YEAH, NOT A GOOD IDEA.

- YOU KNOW, BUT THEN
TALKING IT OUT WITH YOU

MADE ME REALIZE
I MIGHT BE KIND OF INTO HER.

AND MAYBE IT WOULD BE GOOD
TO TALK IT OUT

SO SOMETHING LIKE THAT KISS
DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

- I'M SAVING YOU, DUDE.
TRUST ME.

- JENNA, SHE HAS
LOW SELF-ESTEEM,

WHICH IS A STRONG MARKER

SHE WILL FOLLOW
IN HER MOTHER'S FOOTSTEPS

AND GET PREGNANT AT 17.

SADIE MADE A GOOD POINT.

SHE SAID AS
A CHARITY ORGANIZATION,

WE SHOULD HAVE
AT LEAST ONE CHARITY CASE.

- NO, IT'S BUGGING ME.

I'M GONNA TEXT JENNA,
SEE IF SHE WANTS TO TALK.

- WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T
TEXT YOU BACK?

SHE'S GONNA HAVE
ALL THE POWER.

- WHAT?
THIS ISN'T JUNIOR HIGH.

- EXCUSE US.
I'M NOT FEELING WELL.

I'VE COME TO MY SENSES.
WE DON'T BELONG HERE.

[cell phone beeps]

[cell phone beeps]

- AH, SHE WANTS ME
TO CALL HER.

- OH, GOD.

- POWER WAS A ZERO-SUM GAME.

WHEN YOU ALLOW SOMEONE
TO TAKE IT,

THEY WILL.

MATTY HAD ALL THE POWER
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP

BECAUSE I LET HIM.

BUT THAT WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE.

- GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.