Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 2, Episode 22 - Beach Bums & Bling - full transcript

Subs created by: David Coleman.

Hey, Dez.

Why do you have all your stuff?

I had to move out of my
house for a couple of days,

because one of my Dad's
inventions went haywire.

I only took the stuff
I really need.

You really need a Panini press?

Yes, Ally. Yes, I do.

My family's in a motel, but I'm
gonna crash in the practice room.

I don't mind you staying here, Dez, but it
would have been nice if you'd asked first.

Oh, I asked. My parents
are totally cool with it.



I'm not rude, Ally.

So, what'd your Dad
invent this time?

A robot guard dog.

Unfortunately it's
stuck on attack mode.

Check this out.

We have to wait for its batteries to die
before we can even get back in the house.

Guess who got a job at F.M. 109.

What are you, the
nighttime janitor?

No. I'm hosting the love
song dedication show.

They hired me for my warm,
gentle personality.

That's my favorite show.

All those couples sending love songs
to each other, it's so romantic.

Ooh, bet my sister phones a lot.

She got a new boyfriend, and she
cannot stop talking about him.



Ooh, is he gonna be at
her birthday party?

Yeah, we'll all meet him
for the first time.

She said I can't be a weirdo.

When have I ever been a weirdo?

Marshmallow-salmon Panini?

- Gross!
- Of course!

Anyway... I'm hosting a live
broadcast at the Mall later.

We're having a contest to give
away a pink electric scooter.

Dez, you should enter. You can give
the scooter to Didi for her birthday.

That's perfect! I'll look like I
care without even spending a dime.

So what's the contest?

You have to recite poetry while sticking
your feet in a tub full of cockroaches.

- Ewe, that's awful!
- I know.

Poetry...

Gross.

♪ When the crowd wants more,
I bring on the thunder.

♪ 'Cause you've got my back,
and I'm not going under.

♪ You're my point,
you're my guard.

♪ You're the perfect chord.

♪ And I see our names
together on every billboard.

♪ We're headed for the
top, we've got it on lock.

♪ We'll make 'em say "hey!"

♪ And we'll keep rockin'.

♪ Oh, there's no way I
could make it without ya.

♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.

♪ It's no fun when
you're doing it solo.

♪ With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.

♪ I own this dream.

♪ 'Cause I got you with me.

♪ There's no way I could
make it without ya.

♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.

And we're back on F.M. 109.

That last song went out
from Aaron to Amelia.

He says he's gonna keep requesting that
song every day until you call him back.

Please call him back.

I hate that song.

And now time for our contest.

Is there anyone else besides
Dez who's brave enough

to stick their bare feet in
this tub of cockroaches?

No one? Yes! I win the scooter.
Woo!

Not so fast, Red.

What are you doing here, Chuck?

I'm here to win that scooter.

- You mind holding these, little lady?
- Actually, I do mind... okay.

The rules are simple...

Whoever can stand in
this tub of cockroaches

the longest while
reciting poetry wins.

That's gonna be me, Chuck.

I can stand in
cockroaches so long,

birds are gonna think I'm a tree,
and build nests in my hair.

Oh, yeah?

I can stand in cockroaches so long, I'm
gonna grow a beard down to my ankles.

People are gonna call me...

Rip Van Chuckle.

Oh, yeah?

Get in the darn tub
and say some poems!

I love poetry.

I hope they do
Shakespeare sonnets.

- ♪ Twinkle twinkle, little star...
- ♪ Mary had a little lamb...

- ♪ How I wonder what you are...
- ♪ Its fleece was white as snow...

You're doing great, Dez!
Don't think of all the

disgusting roaches crunching
between your toes.

I'll be okay as long
as they don't...

Climb up my leg!

They're climbing up my leg!

I beat you again, Red.

Well, that depends on
how you look at it.

Well, I stood in cockroaches
longer than you.

I won the scooter.

That's really the only
way to look at it.

I can't believe I
lost to Chuck again.

Oh, don't feel bad, honey.

Chuck's just better than
you at most things.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Mm hmm.

You always know what to say.

Hey, guys, glad you
could make it.

Are you kidding? I love
hanging out with you guys.

- Did you bring any inventions?
- You know it!

What up?!

It's great to see you again, Mr.
and Mrs...

Ally, Trish! You look amazing!

Hey, Didi. Happy Birthday.

I can't wait for you girls
to meet my boyfriend.

Austin, let me ask
you something.

How many times have you been
sitting around the table,

you ask someone to pass
you the potatoes...

It takes forever, right?

- Not really.
- Exactly!

That's why I invented...

The potato-pult!

This will revolutionize the way
the world passes potatoes.

Cool!

I'll grab a plate.

Can someone pass the potatoes?

Coming right down.

Dad, I don't want you using your
gadgets when my boyfriend gets here.

If you embarrass me, my life
will be ruined forever.

Honey, I know you're nervous because we're
meeting your boyfriend for the first time.

But you don't have
anything to worry about.

Yeah, what's the worst
that can happen?

Your parents make a bad
impression, he dumps you.

And you lose your soul mate...
forever.

I just really want you
guys to like him.

Didi, relax. You're my sister.

I'm gonna like whoever you like.

- Hello, darlin'.
- My boyfriend's here!

Chuck's your new boyfriend?!

Dez!

Dez. Dez.

- Are you okay?
- Oh, man.

I just had a terrible nightmare. My
sister was dating my worst enemy.

That wasn't a nightmare, Red.

Didi, how long have you
been dating Chuck McCoy?

We started hanging out over the summer,
and we've been video-chatting ever since.

Didi, you know how we feel
about the McCoy family...

And video-chatting.

Dad, Chuck's the nicest, smartest,
most handsome boy in the world.

Is she talking about that Chuck?

Sir, I know there's bad
blood between our families.

But I like your daughter almost
as much as I like my boots.

And I really like my boots.

Okay, Dez, I know why you and Chuck don't
get along, but why don't your families?

Our families have hated each other
as far back as anyone can remember.

It's been going on
since the middle ages.

Well, I think it's romantic
Didi and Chuck are going out.

It's like Romeo and Juliet.

You know how that ended, right?

Not good.

Well, Didi is my Juliet.

The brightness of her cheek would shame
the stars, as daylight doth a lamp.

Aw...

Ewe.

I think you should
give Chuck a chance.

Love is the strongest
thing in nature.

Actually, a hippo's the
strongest thing in nature.

You know what I mean.

And you're wrong.
It's a rhinoceros.

I agree with Ally.

About giving Chuck a
chance or the rhinoceros?

The Chuck thing.

Please, Sir, I stood ankle-deep
in cockroaches for your daughter.

What else can you call
that besides love?

Stupid, disgusting,
unsanitary...

Should I go on?

Don't listen to Chuck, Mom.

- You can't trust him.
- I'm with Dez.

He's just mad because I
always beat him at stuff.

Uh, did you forget that I beat you at the
chili cook-off and the short story contest?

I believe that's 27 for
you and two a-for me.

What up?!

Dad, don't you want
me to be happy?

I do. It's just that his last name
is McCoy and our last name is...

Dad's right! Our families have been
fighting since the middle ages...

And we'll still be fighting when
the zombie apocalypse comes.

I don't think so.

Only two things are gonna
survive the zombie apocalypse.

Me and my love for Didi.

Oh-ho-ho! I'm
definitely surviving.

I never leave home without
my zombie survival kit.

Except for today.

I had to bring the cake, and I
couldn't carry two things at once.

Welcome to the family, son.

We love hanging out with
you so much more than Dez.

Who's Dez?

Who wants another Panini?

Ooh!

No-o-o-o!

No-o-o-o!

Dez, are you okay?

Uh, didn't you hear me?

No-o-o-o!

I have to break up Chuck and
Didi before it's too late.

He was using my Panini press.

- How dare he.
- What?

Who cares?

You care more about this feud
than your sister's feelings?

Ally's right.

Whatever you need, buddy,
I'll help you break them up.

That's not what I meant.

Whose side are you on, Ally?

- I'm on the side of love.
- And I'm on the side of Dez.

And I'm on the side of
anyone who pays me 20 bucks.

Thanks, Trish.

You and Austin will help me
break up Chuck and my sister.

I still think this
whole feud is crazy.

Haven't we learned anything
from Romeo and Juliet?

These violent delights
have violent ends!

A plague on both your houses!

Why do I know that?!

Yes!

I just talked to Trish.
We're all set.

Thanks, buddy.

What are you two up to?

- Nothing.
- Breaking up Chuck and Didi.

- Chuck.
- Red.

I was just showing Didi all the
pictures I have of her in my locker.

I love this little gal.

Sure you do. Hey, let's
listen to the radio.

This is DJ Trish, bringing
you love in the afternoon.

Our first request is Austin
Moon's I think about you.

This goes out from Chuck McCoy
to the girl of his dreams...

Oh, that's so sweet.

- Sally.
- What?!

He says he knows that
things are complicated,

but as soon as you-know-who
is out of the picture...

Didi...

You two can be together.

Dez was right.

I shouldn't have
trusted a McCoy.

We're finished!

Didi, wait!

What up?!

I can't believe you guys.

- You all set me up!
- Maybe.

But you'll never be
with my sister again.

You're gonna pay for this, Red.

You too, blondie.

And you too...

Whatever-color-your-hair-is.

I didn't have anything
to do with it!

And it's chestnut with
amber highlights.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow. Look what Chuck did to me!

He put a pinch me sign on my shirt.
Everybody's been pinching me all day.

Why don't you just take it off?

Because it's my favorite shirt.

Not the shirt, the sign.

Oh.

You should apologize to
Chuck and end your feud.

Ally, sometimes people just have to
stand up for what they believe in.

And you think a ridiculous
old feud is more

important than two teenagers
who wanna be together?

When you put it like that...

Maybe?

You're just worried Chuck's
gonna get back at you too.

This isn't about me.
It's about Didi.

Okay, now it's about me too.
What is this stuff?!

Mm. It's strawberry jam.

He's so diabolical!

Do you know how much
that stuff stains?

Well, if that's his
prank, it's pretty lame.

Huh. This key sounds weird.

Austin! Don't...

Relax, Dez.

Chuck didn't do anything to the piano.
I've been here all afternoon.

Man... he's good.

I should have charged you
a lot more than 20 bucks

to help you break
up Chuck and Didi.

Dez, you have got to end this
feud before it gets out of hand.

Ho-ho-ho, I'm never
ending this feud.

Besides, Chuck's not
gonna do anything else.

He already got his revenge.

Maybe he does still have a
little revenge left in him.

Well, looky who suddenly
has school spirit.

I had to buy all new clothes from
the school store because of you!

And I always had school spirit.

Go-o-o-o Manatees!

But seriously, the jelly
attacks have to stop!

I suppose I could do some, uh...

Peanut butter attacks
to even it out!

Don't you dare.

Lucky for you, this is my
emergency peanut butter.

I'm putting it in my
zombie survival kit.

There's been a lot of
chatter on the interwebs

lately about the impending
zombie apocalypse.

Oh, I've heard the chatter.

There will be a zombie
apocalypse any day now.

Could be tomorrow, could be the next
day, could be the day after that,

could be the day after that.

Could be the day after...

I get it.

It's coming.

And when it comes...

I'm gonna survive, because I have
the best zombie survival kit...

In Southeast Florida.

You call that a
zombie survival kit?

This is a zombie survival kit.

Mine's got zombie repellent, two-way
radio, night-vision goggles.

And best of all,
it's zombie-proof.

No one knows the
combination except for me.

Zero-zero-zero-zero is the
best you could come up with?

Trust me. Zombies are the
least of your worries.

My revenge is just
getting started.

All we have to do is stay here
until Chuck goes to college.

Then we'll be safe.

So living in the practice
room for three years

is easier than ending
your feud with Chuck?

Yes, Ally. Yes, it is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm
going to use the bathroom.

He know that's the
closet, right?

You've gotta help us put an end
to this feud, it's gone too far.

Dez is prepared to sleep
in the practice room

and eat nothing but
tuna for three years.

So that's where all the tuna
from my zombie shelter went.

You believe in that dumb
zombie apocalypse stuff too?

Uh, yeah.

I agree with Ally.

This feud has gone
on long enough.

I mean, poor Didi's
been crying for days.

The best way to end a feud
is to get two people in the

same room together so they can
air out their differences.

Chuck and Dez hate each other. They'll
never get in a room together.

I think I have a way. But
I'll need some help.

I'm in!

- Me too!
- Count me in.

For 20 bucks.

Austin?

Ally?

Hello, Red.

Back off, Chuck. I'm not
afraid to use this flute.

I've been taking
lessons from Ally.

Easy there, partner. I
didn't come to get revenge.

Ally texted me about a pie-baking
contest in Sonic Boom.

I've got all this leftover jam
and nothing to do with it.

If there was a pie-baking contest,
I would have gotten the same text.

Ally knows how much
I love baking pies.

Clearly I've been lied to.

What's going on?

I don't know.

That's an emergency siren.
Let's check the radio.

This is not a test. I
repeat, this is not a test.

I've just gotten a report from
the South Florida Naval Station

that a virus has leaked out.

It's turning people into...
gasp...

Zombies!

- Did she just say...?
- Yes, you heard right. I just said...

Gasp... zombies!

I'm calling Austin.
He'll know what to do.

Dez? I'm so glad to
hear your voice.

There's not much time to talk.
The zombies are everywhere.

Must eat brains!

Really? That's the
best you can do?

The zombie apocalypse
is actually happening?

Yes, and in case I don't see you
again, I just have one thing to say...

Life's too short
to hold a grudge.

If you're feuding with anybody,
now's the time to end it.

I think the zombies may
have already gotten him.

He's talking gibberish.

- What should we do?
- Many callers are asking what to do.

You need to lock
yourselves in a room.

Like a practice room with
lots of water and tuna!

We have a practice room with
lots of water and tuna.

It's only been three minutes, and
already I'm feeling lightheaded.

Will there be enough
air to survive?

Will the rescuers get
here before the zombies?

If you're watching this...

The answer's no.

- I'm worried about Didi.
- I'm worried about my lungs.

- We're running out of air in here!
- Snap out of it, Red!

It's no time to panic!

You're right.

Music always calms me down.
Let's listen to the radio.

They're in the Mall.
Run for your lives!

Forget the radio.

- They're here!
- Block the door!

Me love brains!

Blehh!

It's been almost an hour.

And except for electricity, Internet
connection, working phones.

Three years' worth of water and
tuna, and the company of Chuck...

I am completely alone and cut
off from the outside world.

We haven't heard
anything for a while.

I say we go downstairs and
see if the zombies are gone.

I got your back.

That's mighty kind of you, Red.

Besides, everyone knows zombies
can't chase two people at once.

I don't have to outrun them.

I just have to outrun you.

That was my plan too.

All clear.

Hiyah!

The zombies were
definitely here.

Look at this place.

I can't believe how
brave you are, Red...

Laughing at a time like this.

Chuck, look! Zombie!

Oh, no! That's my Didi!

That's my sister. I can't believe
she turned into a zombie.

I feel awful.

If I had been with her, this
wouldn't have happened!

It's all my fault. I'm
sorry I broke you two up.

- I just want this feud to end.
- Me too, partner.

If we don't make it out of this,

I just want you to know, I'd be proud
if you were my sister's boyfriend.

I can't do that now.
She's a zombie.

But thank you, Red. I'm
proud to call you friend.

- We got you!
- Woo! Yeah!

Yeah, we had you believing in...
gasp... zombies!

You should have seen your face.

Oh, no! I'm so scared,
instead of scaredy-cats,

people are gonna call
'em Chucky-cats.

Wait, this was all a hoax?

We wanted you and Chuck
to end your dumb feud.

We figured if we got you scared enough,
you'd work together and stop fighting.

And it worked.

- I wasn't scared.
- Me neither.

Then why are you
still holding hands?

Dez, I promise I'll
take good care of her.

I know. But if you want my approval,
we have to go over this one more time.

- Oh! Do we have to?
- Yes, I'm very protective.

Now, Chuck...

- You treat her right.
- Got it.

Be patient. She's temperamental.

I understand.

And I want her
back after dinner.

Man, you love your Panini press.

She's like a sister to me.