Atlanta (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Rich Wigga Poor Wigga - full transcript
Down on his luck, a mixed-race high school senior attempts to win a full scholarship to college by proving he is "black".
♪ ♪
♪ 12-figure estate plan,
that was the escape plan ♪
♪ But hate investigating,
that shit was a waste, man... ♪
This is an easy kill.
♪ But wait, it opened gates... ♪
Man, this nigga's scared.
I can feel it.
You lost, bro.
You already lost.
Come catch a fade
like a man, bro.
It's two on one, nigga.
I like the odds.
I got a full tank for that ass.
Yeah, I'm finna burn
this boy ass up right here.
Yeah, come get this smoke, fool.
You still playing, bro?
This nigga's jerking off
somewhere.
You jerking, bro?
Jerking off to this kill
I'm about to get.
What the fuck did you just say?
Nigga, you gay as hell.
- I know where you at, bro.
- You can't hide.
You guys are dog shit.
Nigga, that was lame as hell.
- You only won 'cause you camping.
- We play for real.
"You only won
'cause you camping."
I don't know, this win looks
pretty real to me.
Oh, you good as shit, bro.
You must not get no pussy.
I'm too busy fucking
to get good at this game.
I'm getting my dick sucked
right now by your mom over here.
You want to talk to her?
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
She's too busy
with my dick in her mouth.
Hey,
pass her to me, bro.
Hey, why don't you two niggers
go find your dads, okay?
- Fuck you say to me?
- You heard me, bitch.
Yo, tell me where you live,
little man.
We got to talk face-to-face
about this shit.
Okay, I got you.
I live at 765 Fuck You Avenue.
What city is that?
What city is that, pussy?
"Uh, 765 Fuck You Avenue, uh..."
Eat a fucking banana.
Shut the fuck up.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
A 15-year-old Black male
was killed last night
in a routine traffic stop
in the Lenox Mall parking lot.
Officers thought
the young man in the backseat
was reaching for a weapon
that turned out to be a phone.
They fired five shots
into the car.
The boy later died
at Grady Hospital.
His father has vowed
to sue the city.
Damn, that's sad.
You see why
I don't want you hanging out
with your friends in DeKalb?
Them cops are looking
for a reason
to kill young Black men.
I don't think
I'll have that problem,
but okay.
Yeah, you got your friends
at school fooled,
but I know where you got
that big-ass nose.
And it ain't your mama.
That kid probably did something
that warranted it, anyways.
Like what?
Be Black in America?
Cops always say "freeze" first.
- Just listen, duh.
- Man...
You know, sometimes I kind of
wish you'd get pulled over,
just so you can see.
You know, that would happen
if you would, like,
let me borrow the car.
So you can crash it?
Then how am I supposed to
get to work?
- Huh?
- Or you can get me a new one?
- Boy...
- As a graduation gift?
Boy, your white friends
really got you confused,
don't they?
Me and your auntie,
we're taking you
to the Golden Corral
when you graduate,
and that is it.
You take a look at that FAFSA
information like I asked?
Aaron, I done told you
a hundred times,
I ain't looking at no loans.
I ain't filling out no F-A-S-A.
I'm ain't cosigning anything.
If you want to get
into that school,
you'll figure it out.
Didn't I tell you to save?
How much you save?
Like... $4,000.
See? That ain't bad.
A year at ASC is $50,000, Dad.
Damn!
That's too bad, son.
Looks like you ain't gonna be
getting into that school.
I do know one thing, though.
If you're still in my house
when you graduate,
you're paying rent.
Yeah, I know.
And if you miss that bus again,
you're walking.
- Four miles?
- Or catching MARTA,
which we both know
you're too scared to do.
Bye, Dad.
- Aaron!
- What?
I love you.
Oh, my God, I know.
Jesus.
Oh, can you believe it?
Congratulations, babe.
I'm so excited.
This is how it all starts...
our lives.
I know. It's amazing.
So, did you get a scholarship?
- Takes care of half of it.
- What?
We have to figure out
what dorm we're gonna be in.
Yeah, maybe we could be
on the same floor.
What's wrong?
Have you not figured out
tuition?
Did your dad fill out the FAFSA?
Yes, I promise,
I'm-a get him to fill it out.
- I'm going to ASC.
- ASC!
Go Moles!
No fucking way!
- Oh, you got in?!
- Go Moles.
- Of course, yeah.
- Oh, my God!
You better be
at every one of my games.
You better be at every one
of my games.
Uh, yeah. I'm gonna be
too hungover for that, so...
Okay. Oh, my God!
All graduating seniors
please report to the auditorium.
That's weird.
Do you think it's
a drunk driving accident?
- Is anyone missing?
- I don't know.
Listen, who cares?
If we have a free day,
we can just go to my house.
Yeah. Let's go.
Settle down.
Settle down.
We have a very special
guest speaker here today.
I had the pleasure of
meeting this man
at a special engagement
this weekend.
I told him I was the principal
at Stonewall Jackson
High School,
and he shared
that he was an alumnus
of this very same school.
He is a businessman,
philanthropist,
philosopher, Christian.
He has some words of wisdom for
this year's graduating class,
and he wanted to speak with you.
Give a big Bobcat welcome
to Mr. Robert "Shea" Lee.
♪ ♪
Knock 'em dead.
It's all on you.
All eyes on you, Robert.
Good morning, graduating class.
My name is Robert "Shea" Lee.
Many of you may not know me,
but guess what?
I know you.
I'm the heir to the Pink Oil
hair moisturizer fortune,
and my grandfather Stymie Banks
built this empire
- from the ground up.
- Mm-hmm.
Some of y'all out there
would have hair as dry
as a Texas wildfire
if it wasn't for my family.
There you go.
But despite all I've given you,
I still feel like
there is more to give.
- Always. Always.
- The question's always been,
"But where do we start?"
When I met your principal,
I was not expecting to hear
the words
"Stonewall Jackson High School."
Those words,
they brought me back...
back to a time that wasn't
always good for me here.
And it was at that moment
I realized,
- we start at the beginning.
- Mm-hmm.
That's right.
- This was my beginning.
- Okay, now.
Look, folks,
I'm-a make this quick.
I'm gonna donate a million
dollars to your school.
And I'm changing the name from
that degenerate slave owner,
to one of the richest Black men
this side of the Mississippi.
From now on,
this school is gonna be named
the Robert S. Lee High School.
But wait, there's more.
We're getting even crazier.
I am going to pay every single
senior's college tuition...
Hallelujah!
ASC, baby!
Yeah!
...who's Black.
Black students,
report to the gym
by 4:00 today and God bless you.
♪ ♪
Unbelievable.
This is bullshit.
Like, can he really do that?
No, I feel like we can sue him
for discrimination.
I mean, this is what they did
to Black people in the '50s,
- right?
- Exactly.
This is fucked up.
This is fucked up, right, Aaron?
- Hmm?
- It's fucked up?
Oh, yeah, it's really fucked up.
I just don't understand why
you would even need to do that.
I mean, they already
go to school for free.
Exactly. There's so many,
like, programs and foundations
and shit to help them.
Like-like, what do we get?
Well, you're not supposed to
say it out loud,
but it's super easy to go
to school if you're Black, so...
I don't think it's super easy.
I'm sure it's not easy
if you're Black and poor.
I don't know, babe.
My friend was dating
a Black guy,
and he got accepted to
all his colleges
- on a free ride.
- What was his name?
I don't remember,
but regardless,
he's probably gonna stay
in school for one year
- and then go
straight to the NBA.
- Yeah,
and he's gonna make
a ton of money doing that.
Probably didn't even need
that scholarship.
Oh, yeah. I remember now.
Zion Wilson.
- Williams... son.
- William...
- Williams... Whatever.
- William-Williamson.
Thank you, Jesus!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, dude.
So over it, dude.
You know,
it's just like, "Relax."
Yeah. Like,
why do you need to shout?
- Like, what's...?
- Way too much, dude.
Um, I got to go talk to the
counselor about the FAFSA loan.
Catch y'all later?
- Yeah, all right.
- See you.
♪ Richer than I ever been... ♪
♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo,
doo, doo ♪
♪ Ooh, dah, dah,
doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ The very first time ♪
♪ That I saw your brown eyes ♪
- ♪ Your lips said, "Hello" ♪
- ♪ Hello ♪
♪ And I said, "Hi" ♪
♪ I knew right then
you were the one ♪
♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo,
doo, doo ♪
♪ But I was caught up, ah ♪
♪ In physical attraction ♪
♪ But to my satisfaction ♪
- ♪ Baby, you were more
than just a face ♪
- Okay.
♪ And if I ever ♪
- ♪ Ever fall ♪
- Hey.
- ♪ In love... ♪
- There's auditions for this?
He picking who's actually Black.
Crazy, right?
Everyone's giving it a shot.
Shouldn't it be based on,
like, your parents?
I did my research on this guy.
He doesn't believe that
ADOS necessitates "Blackness."
He's really talking about
the culture of Black in America.
It's a nuanced discussion.
Mm-hmm.
Yo, could you...
could you wave check me?
Just...
All right, I'm-a fuck
with y'all, then.
Wow.
Hey! Redbone!
- Yeah, you!
- Oh.
You up next! Come on.
♪ I just want to be
the one to serve you ♪
- ♪ At times, I feel... ♪
- Good luck.
Hello?
- Mm-hmm.
- Come into the light.
Ooh, look at
this high yellow nigga. Ha!
What's your name, boy?
Uh... Aaron.
- You said Aaron?
- It's kind of Black.
- It's in the Bible.
- Kind of. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Hank Aaron.
- Yeah.
Shut up, fool. That don't count.
It don't.
All right. Let's get started.
We're gonna ask you
a few questions.
Name me six things
that mix with Hennessy.
Ooh, shit.
Um...
Coke?
- All right.
- Good.
Rum?
- He said...
- What he say?
- Huh?
- He said, "Rum."
Rum.
- Shit, oh, shit.
- He might have something.
That might be good!
I'd try that.
Mango.
- Coconut.
- He say "Mango"?
- Mango?
- And... ice?
All right, all right.
All right.
Now he just making up shit,
but he's creative.
That's all right. The rum,
the rum was good enough.
- It was creative. All right.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Uh...
What happened to that boy
at Lenox Mall...
Oh! I-I heard about that
on the radio this morning.
Uh, a police officer killed him
in a routine traffic stop,
and his dad was in the car.
Yeah, crazy.
I didn't say, "What happened
to that boy at Lenox Mall?"
I said, "What happened to
that boy at Lenox Mall..."
And the answer was:
- "Mm-mm-mm..."
- Damn shame.
Mm-mm, mmm, mm-mm.
All right.
Enough of the warm-up.
- Let's get down
to the nitty-gritty.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, how long
can chicken sit on the stove?
Um...
Bobby and Whitney,
or Will and Jada?
Whitney. No, no, no, no, Jada.
Where's the first place
you take your cousin
after he get out of jail?
Why did The Five Heartbeats
break up?
"Your mama"
or "your mother"?
Uh... SoBe Lizard Milk?
NBA Youngboy.
Silk pillow covers?
What color are Wendy's napkins?
DJ Doo-Doo Brown.
227 and Amen?
Holy Spirit or the Holy Ghost?
Mustard or mayonnaise?
Crisco.
If her foot is in it,
it's good?
Take this pencil,
go make a beat on that table.
The price is on the can.
Orange or grape Kool-Aid?
- Spell "Dante."
- DQ or Popeyes?
What soda is good for you?
If Ne-Yo's hat gets any lower,
it's gonna be on his blank?
Meghan Trainor. Essence Fest.
L-A-Q-U-E-S...
He stupid. He stupid.
All right.
This was fun.
It was fun.
You can say that again.
Got to be honest,
we had a good time.
Yeah.
But the tribunal
has concluded that
- we are not giving you
the scholarship.
- Mm-mm.
Wait. Why?
You ain't Black, boy.
But my dad's Black.
Well, then have him come here,
and then I'll give him
- the scholarship.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that nigga ain't go
to college.
This isn't fair!
You're not giving me
the scholarship
because I'm light skin?!
You are white!
- Greg.
- You are... You shut the fuck up!
- You are white! You white!
- Hold on, Greg.
He just told you, Blacks only.
He couldn't answer any of
the questions, could he?
- He's white!
- Hmm.
Off-white.
I knew he was white
when he first walked up in here.
And he ain't got
no Black friends.
How you know that?
I'll tell you why come I know.
'Cause if he did have
some Black friends,
they would have told
his white ass
not to come walking up in here
with them Matcha-colored
Allbirds. Mm-hmm.
How long you been coasting
on your whiteness, son?
- See, I used to know a guy
like you back in the day.
- Mm-hmm.
His name was Clarence Thomas.
Oh, shit.
- He got his.
- Clarence Thomas?
You just got yours.
Case dismissed.
Now, take your ass
on out of here.
You didn't have to
call the boy Clarence Thomas.
Shit, he ain't that white.
I'm not Black
because I have white friends?
We should sue him.
I'm serious.
Is this funny to you?
- A little bit, yeah.
- Dad,
I won't get to go to college
because this guy's racist,
or colorist or whatever.
Fuck this dude!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, kemosabe.
Relax, some... I mean,
that's part of being Black.
Sometimes you don't get
the things you know you deserve.
So, just charge it to the game.
Hey, listen, uh, I'm gonna be
at the workshop tonight,
so I'll be home a little late.
So, if you could take out...
Hey? You good?
Who is D'Andre
and why are you talking to him?
I wasn't.
He commented on my page.
But you responded.
I literally saw you respond.
Would you chill?
I met him on a school tour.
- It's not a big deal.
- Don't tell me to chill.
If this was some chick
I met on tour at ASC,
you'd be livid
and you fucking know it.
No, I wouldn't, 'cause I know
you're not going to ASC.
What?
Look, Aaron...
I know you're not going.
You kept pushing it off, and...
I know you haven't applied
for loans, and...
I know you don't have the money.
You're just...
not going, and...
...we should just...
end this now.
What are you saying?
I think we should break up.
I'm sorry, Aaron.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
♪ ♪
Dog shit.
- Man, this nigga's scared.
- I can feel it.
This nigga's trash.
Get him out of here.
I am going to pay
every single senior's
college tuition...
You ready to die, white boy?
...who's Black.
You are white!
He just told you, Blacks only.
You are white! You white!
I mean,
that's part of being Black.
Sometimes you don't get
the things you know you deserve.
You are white! You white!
You are white!
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Who are you?
Felix. Who are you?
What are you doing?
I'm about to burn
this motherfucker down.
What are you doing?
He said you weren't Black, too.
My parents are from Nigeria.
I was born there,
but I don't even remember it.
I'm from Lithonia.
Hmm.
Hmm.
- I get it.
- Get what?
I understand what he means.
You're not really Black.
You have an entire culture
to pull from.
You know where you're from,
you can trace your lineage,
and you have a country
to go home to.
That's not really Black.
Well, I'm Blacker than you.
You look like fucking
Frankie Muniz.
You think if I walk down
the street in your neighborhood,
they're not gonna stop me
because I'm African?
I had to take the bus here
and assemble this shit
by the dumpster.
Bet you just walked on
over here, in front of everyone.
Keep your Black card tucked,
bruh.
Listen,
I really don't care anymore.
I'm burning the school down.
Excuse me.
With what? Your little
bargain bin flamethrower?
Nigga, I'm burning
this school down.
You know what?
What if I burn you first?
Oh, wait. Too late.
Was that a dark skin joke?
♪ ♪
Got you, bitch.
Oh, fuck!
Fuck! Ah! Ow, ow!
This is
where the Black kids eat.
Freeze!
la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la... ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la... ♪
Oh, my God.
My school.
Hey, did you try to burn
my school down?
You really wanted that
scholarship, didn't you, boy?
Well, before
they wheel you away,
just know one thing.
Getting shot by the police
is the Blackest thing
anybody can do.
Make sure he survives, okay?
Take him to "White Grady."
You mean Emory?
White Grady.
Hey.
Don't worry about
your medical bills.
We're gonna take care of those.
Here's your scholarship check,
okay?
- Thank you, sir.
- Just get better.
Thank you, sir.
All right.
♪ La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la. ♪
You know, shit was crazy.
You know, just try to keep
your head down, lay low.
- Mm-hmm.
- You'll be good, you know?
But, yeah, my PO cool and all,
still a pain in my ass, though.
Nigga act like he own me
or some shit.
But yeah, you know, this is
my favorite type right here.
They don't pay me enough
to tell you that.
But, I fuck with it,
you feel me?
- So...
- Aaron?
Hold on one sec.
- Take this up front.
- Okay.
Tell Derrick to fuck with you
with my discount code,
- a'ight?
- Okay.
You gonna text me? A'ight.
I'll see you later.
That ass stupid.
What's up?
Nothing, um...
How are you?
I'm good. Good.
How's ASC?
It's great.
How's, um...
How's here?
It's a'ight. You know.
Same old shit, different day,
you know how it goes.
Cool. Um... Yeah.
All right.
It's good to see you.
Hey.
Can I be honest with you?
I've never been more attracted
to you in my life.
Aaron...
♪ ♪
♪ I've waited, oh, so long ♪
♪ For you to come to me ♪
♪ What did I do wrong? ♪
♪ It's all a mystery to me ♪
♪ Baby, I feel it, too ♪
♪ What am I supposed to do? ♪
♪ Maybe I've just changed ♪
♪ Or can I be wrong for you? ♪
♪ 12-figure estate plan,
that was the escape plan ♪
♪ But hate investigating,
that shit was a waste, man... ♪
This is an easy kill.
♪ But wait, it opened gates... ♪
Man, this nigga's scared.
I can feel it.
You lost, bro.
You already lost.
Come catch a fade
like a man, bro.
It's two on one, nigga.
I like the odds.
I got a full tank for that ass.
Yeah, I'm finna burn
this boy ass up right here.
Yeah, come get this smoke, fool.
You still playing, bro?
This nigga's jerking off
somewhere.
You jerking, bro?
Jerking off to this kill
I'm about to get.
What the fuck did you just say?
Nigga, you gay as hell.
- I know where you at, bro.
- You can't hide.
You guys are dog shit.
Nigga, that was lame as hell.
- You only won 'cause you camping.
- We play for real.
"You only won
'cause you camping."
I don't know, this win looks
pretty real to me.
Oh, you good as shit, bro.
You must not get no pussy.
I'm too busy fucking
to get good at this game.
I'm getting my dick sucked
right now by your mom over here.
You want to talk to her?
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
She's too busy
with my dick in her mouth.
Hey,
pass her to me, bro.
Hey, why don't you two niggers
go find your dads, okay?
- Fuck you say to me?
- You heard me, bitch.
Yo, tell me where you live,
little man.
We got to talk face-to-face
about this shit.
Okay, I got you.
I live at 765 Fuck You Avenue.
What city is that?
What city is that, pussy?
"Uh, 765 Fuck You Avenue, uh..."
Eat a fucking banana.
Shut the fuck up.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
A 15-year-old Black male
was killed last night
in a routine traffic stop
in the Lenox Mall parking lot.
Officers thought
the young man in the backseat
was reaching for a weapon
that turned out to be a phone.
They fired five shots
into the car.
The boy later died
at Grady Hospital.
His father has vowed
to sue the city.
Damn, that's sad.
You see why
I don't want you hanging out
with your friends in DeKalb?
Them cops are looking
for a reason
to kill young Black men.
I don't think
I'll have that problem,
but okay.
Yeah, you got your friends
at school fooled,
but I know where you got
that big-ass nose.
And it ain't your mama.
That kid probably did something
that warranted it, anyways.
Like what?
Be Black in America?
Cops always say "freeze" first.
- Just listen, duh.
- Man...
You know, sometimes I kind of
wish you'd get pulled over,
just so you can see.
You know, that would happen
if you would, like,
let me borrow the car.
So you can crash it?
Then how am I supposed to
get to work?
- Huh?
- Or you can get me a new one?
- Boy...
- As a graduation gift?
Boy, your white friends
really got you confused,
don't they?
Me and your auntie,
we're taking you
to the Golden Corral
when you graduate,
and that is it.
You take a look at that FAFSA
information like I asked?
Aaron, I done told you
a hundred times,
I ain't looking at no loans.
I ain't filling out no F-A-S-A.
I'm ain't cosigning anything.
If you want to get
into that school,
you'll figure it out.
Didn't I tell you to save?
How much you save?
Like... $4,000.
See? That ain't bad.
A year at ASC is $50,000, Dad.
Damn!
That's too bad, son.
Looks like you ain't gonna be
getting into that school.
I do know one thing, though.
If you're still in my house
when you graduate,
you're paying rent.
Yeah, I know.
And if you miss that bus again,
you're walking.
- Four miles?
- Or catching MARTA,
which we both know
you're too scared to do.
Bye, Dad.
- Aaron!
- What?
I love you.
Oh, my God, I know.
Jesus.
Oh, can you believe it?
Congratulations, babe.
I'm so excited.
This is how it all starts...
our lives.
I know. It's amazing.
So, did you get a scholarship?
- Takes care of half of it.
- What?
We have to figure out
what dorm we're gonna be in.
Yeah, maybe we could be
on the same floor.
What's wrong?
Have you not figured out
tuition?
Did your dad fill out the FAFSA?
Yes, I promise,
I'm-a get him to fill it out.
- I'm going to ASC.
- ASC!
Go Moles!
No fucking way!
- Oh, you got in?!
- Go Moles.
- Of course, yeah.
- Oh, my God!
You better be
at every one of my games.
You better be at every one
of my games.
Uh, yeah. I'm gonna be
too hungover for that, so...
Okay. Oh, my God!
All graduating seniors
please report to the auditorium.
That's weird.
Do you think it's
a drunk driving accident?
- Is anyone missing?
- I don't know.
Listen, who cares?
If we have a free day,
we can just go to my house.
Yeah. Let's go.
Settle down.
Settle down.
We have a very special
guest speaker here today.
I had the pleasure of
meeting this man
at a special engagement
this weekend.
I told him I was the principal
at Stonewall Jackson
High School,
and he shared
that he was an alumnus
of this very same school.
He is a businessman,
philanthropist,
philosopher, Christian.
He has some words of wisdom for
this year's graduating class,
and he wanted to speak with you.
Give a big Bobcat welcome
to Mr. Robert "Shea" Lee.
♪ ♪
Knock 'em dead.
It's all on you.
All eyes on you, Robert.
Good morning, graduating class.
My name is Robert "Shea" Lee.
Many of you may not know me,
but guess what?
I know you.
I'm the heir to the Pink Oil
hair moisturizer fortune,
and my grandfather Stymie Banks
built this empire
- from the ground up.
- Mm-hmm.
Some of y'all out there
would have hair as dry
as a Texas wildfire
if it wasn't for my family.
There you go.
But despite all I've given you,
I still feel like
there is more to give.
- Always. Always.
- The question's always been,
"But where do we start?"
When I met your principal,
I was not expecting to hear
the words
"Stonewall Jackson High School."
Those words,
they brought me back...
back to a time that wasn't
always good for me here.
And it was at that moment
I realized,
- we start at the beginning.
- Mm-hmm.
That's right.
- This was my beginning.
- Okay, now.
Look, folks,
I'm-a make this quick.
I'm gonna donate a million
dollars to your school.
And I'm changing the name from
that degenerate slave owner,
to one of the richest Black men
this side of the Mississippi.
From now on,
this school is gonna be named
the Robert S. Lee High School.
But wait, there's more.
We're getting even crazier.
I am going to pay every single
senior's college tuition...
Hallelujah!
ASC, baby!
Yeah!
...who's Black.
Black students,
report to the gym
by 4:00 today and God bless you.
♪ ♪
Unbelievable.
This is bullshit.
Like, can he really do that?
No, I feel like we can sue him
for discrimination.
I mean, this is what they did
to Black people in the '50s,
- right?
- Exactly.
This is fucked up.
This is fucked up, right, Aaron?
- Hmm?
- It's fucked up?
Oh, yeah, it's really fucked up.
I just don't understand why
you would even need to do that.
I mean, they already
go to school for free.
Exactly. There's so many,
like, programs and foundations
and shit to help them.
Like-like, what do we get?
Well, you're not supposed to
say it out loud,
but it's super easy to go
to school if you're Black, so...
I don't think it's super easy.
I'm sure it's not easy
if you're Black and poor.
I don't know, babe.
My friend was dating
a Black guy,
and he got accepted to
all his colleges
- on a free ride.
- What was his name?
I don't remember,
but regardless,
he's probably gonna stay
in school for one year
- and then go
straight to the NBA.
- Yeah,
and he's gonna make
a ton of money doing that.
Probably didn't even need
that scholarship.
Oh, yeah. I remember now.
Zion Wilson.
- Williams... son.
- William...
- Williams... Whatever.
- William-Williamson.
Thank you, Jesus!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, dude.
So over it, dude.
You know,
it's just like, "Relax."
Yeah. Like,
why do you need to shout?
- Like, what's...?
- Way too much, dude.
Um, I got to go talk to the
counselor about the FAFSA loan.
Catch y'all later?
- Yeah, all right.
- See you.
♪ Richer than I ever been... ♪
♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo,
doo, doo ♪
♪ Ooh, dah, dah,
doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ The very first time ♪
♪ That I saw your brown eyes ♪
- ♪ Your lips said, "Hello" ♪
- ♪ Hello ♪
♪ And I said, "Hi" ♪
♪ I knew right then
you were the one ♪
♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo,
doo, doo ♪
♪ But I was caught up, ah ♪
♪ In physical attraction ♪
♪ But to my satisfaction ♪
- ♪ Baby, you were more
than just a face ♪
- Okay.
♪ And if I ever ♪
- ♪ Ever fall ♪
- Hey.
- ♪ In love... ♪
- There's auditions for this?
He picking who's actually Black.
Crazy, right?
Everyone's giving it a shot.
Shouldn't it be based on,
like, your parents?
I did my research on this guy.
He doesn't believe that
ADOS necessitates "Blackness."
He's really talking about
the culture of Black in America.
It's a nuanced discussion.
Mm-hmm.
Yo, could you...
could you wave check me?
Just...
All right, I'm-a fuck
with y'all, then.
Wow.
Hey! Redbone!
- Yeah, you!
- Oh.
You up next! Come on.
♪ I just want to be
the one to serve you ♪
- ♪ At times, I feel... ♪
- Good luck.
Hello?
- Mm-hmm.
- Come into the light.
Ooh, look at
this high yellow nigga. Ha!
What's your name, boy?
Uh... Aaron.
- You said Aaron?
- It's kind of Black.
- It's in the Bible.
- Kind of. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Hank Aaron.
- Yeah.
Shut up, fool. That don't count.
It don't.
All right. Let's get started.
We're gonna ask you
a few questions.
Name me six things
that mix with Hennessy.
Ooh, shit.
Um...
Coke?
- All right.
- Good.
Rum?
- He said...
- What he say?
- Huh?
- He said, "Rum."
Rum.
- Shit, oh, shit.
- He might have something.
That might be good!
I'd try that.
Mango.
- Coconut.
- He say "Mango"?
- Mango?
- And... ice?
All right, all right.
All right.
Now he just making up shit,
but he's creative.
That's all right. The rum,
the rum was good enough.
- It was creative. All right.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Uh...
What happened to that boy
at Lenox Mall...
Oh! I-I heard about that
on the radio this morning.
Uh, a police officer killed him
in a routine traffic stop,
and his dad was in the car.
Yeah, crazy.
I didn't say, "What happened
to that boy at Lenox Mall?"
I said, "What happened to
that boy at Lenox Mall..."
And the answer was:
- "Mm-mm-mm..."
- Damn shame.
Mm-mm, mmm, mm-mm.
All right.
Enough of the warm-up.
- Let's get down
to the nitty-gritty.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, how long
can chicken sit on the stove?
Um...
Bobby and Whitney,
or Will and Jada?
Whitney. No, no, no, no, Jada.
Where's the first place
you take your cousin
after he get out of jail?
Why did The Five Heartbeats
break up?
"Your mama"
or "your mother"?
Uh... SoBe Lizard Milk?
NBA Youngboy.
Silk pillow covers?
What color are Wendy's napkins?
DJ Doo-Doo Brown.
227 and Amen?
Holy Spirit or the Holy Ghost?
Mustard or mayonnaise?
Crisco.
If her foot is in it,
it's good?
Take this pencil,
go make a beat on that table.
The price is on the can.
Orange or grape Kool-Aid?
- Spell "Dante."
- DQ or Popeyes?
What soda is good for you?
If Ne-Yo's hat gets any lower,
it's gonna be on his blank?
Meghan Trainor. Essence Fest.
L-A-Q-U-E-S...
He stupid. He stupid.
All right.
This was fun.
It was fun.
You can say that again.
Got to be honest,
we had a good time.
Yeah.
But the tribunal
has concluded that
- we are not giving you
the scholarship.
- Mm-mm.
Wait. Why?
You ain't Black, boy.
But my dad's Black.
Well, then have him come here,
and then I'll give him
- the scholarship.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that nigga ain't go
to college.
This isn't fair!
You're not giving me
the scholarship
because I'm light skin?!
You are white!
- Greg.
- You are... You shut the fuck up!
- You are white! You white!
- Hold on, Greg.
He just told you, Blacks only.
He couldn't answer any of
the questions, could he?
- He's white!
- Hmm.
Off-white.
I knew he was white
when he first walked up in here.
And he ain't got
no Black friends.
How you know that?
I'll tell you why come I know.
'Cause if he did have
some Black friends,
they would have told
his white ass
not to come walking up in here
with them Matcha-colored
Allbirds. Mm-hmm.
How long you been coasting
on your whiteness, son?
- See, I used to know a guy
like you back in the day.
- Mm-hmm.
His name was Clarence Thomas.
Oh, shit.
- He got his.
- Clarence Thomas?
You just got yours.
Case dismissed.
Now, take your ass
on out of here.
You didn't have to
call the boy Clarence Thomas.
Shit, he ain't that white.
I'm not Black
because I have white friends?
We should sue him.
I'm serious.
Is this funny to you?
- A little bit, yeah.
- Dad,
I won't get to go to college
because this guy's racist,
or colorist or whatever.
Fuck this dude!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, kemosabe.
Relax, some... I mean,
that's part of being Black.
Sometimes you don't get
the things you know you deserve.
So, just charge it to the game.
Hey, listen, uh, I'm gonna be
at the workshop tonight,
so I'll be home a little late.
So, if you could take out...
Hey? You good?
Who is D'Andre
and why are you talking to him?
I wasn't.
He commented on my page.
But you responded.
I literally saw you respond.
Would you chill?
I met him on a school tour.
- It's not a big deal.
- Don't tell me to chill.
If this was some chick
I met on tour at ASC,
you'd be livid
and you fucking know it.
No, I wouldn't, 'cause I know
you're not going to ASC.
What?
Look, Aaron...
I know you're not going.
You kept pushing it off, and...
I know you haven't applied
for loans, and...
I know you don't have the money.
You're just...
not going, and...
...we should just...
end this now.
What are you saying?
I think we should break up.
I'm sorry, Aaron.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
♪ ♪
Dog shit.
- Man, this nigga's scared.
- I can feel it.
This nigga's trash.
Get him out of here.
I am going to pay
every single senior's
college tuition...
You ready to die, white boy?
...who's Black.
You are white!
He just told you, Blacks only.
You are white! You white!
I mean,
that's part of being Black.
Sometimes you don't get
the things you know you deserve.
You are white! You white!
You are white!
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Who are you?
Felix. Who are you?
What are you doing?
I'm about to burn
this motherfucker down.
What are you doing?
He said you weren't Black, too.
My parents are from Nigeria.
I was born there,
but I don't even remember it.
I'm from Lithonia.
Hmm.
Hmm.
- I get it.
- Get what?
I understand what he means.
You're not really Black.
You have an entire culture
to pull from.
You know where you're from,
you can trace your lineage,
and you have a country
to go home to.
That's not really Black.
Well, I'm Blacker than you.
You look like fucking
Frankie Muniz.
You think if I walk down
the street in your neighborhood,
they're not gonna stop me
because I'm African?
I had to take the bus here
and assemble this shit
by the dumpster.
Bet you just walked on
over here, in front of everyone.
Keep your Black card tucked,
bruh.
Listen,
I really don't care anymore.
I'm burning the school down.
Excuse me.
With what? Your little
bargain bin flamethrower?
Nigga, I'm burning
this school down.
You know what?
What if I burn you first?
Oh, wait. Too late.
Was that a dark skin joke?
♪ ♪
Got you, bitch.
Oh, fuck!
Fuck! Ah! Ow, ow!
This is
where the Black kids eat.
Freeze!
la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la... ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la... ♪
Oh, my God.
My school.
Hey, did you try to burn
my school down?
You really wanted that
scholarship, didn't you, boy?
Well, before
they wheel you away,
just know one thing.
Getting shot by the police
is the Blackest thing
anybody can do.
Make sure he survives, okay?
Take him to "White Grady."
You mean Emory?
White Grady.
Hey.
Don't worry about
your medical bills.
We're gonna take care of those.
Here's your scholarship check,
okay?
- Thank you, sir.
- Just get better.
Thank you, sir.
All right.
♪ La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la. ♪
You know, shit was crazy.
You know, just try to keep
your head down, lay low.
- Mm-hmm.
- You'll be good, you know?
But, yeah, my PO cool and all,
still a pain in my ass, though.
Nigga act like he own me
or some shit.
But yeah, you know, this is
my favorite type right here.
They don't pay me enough
to tell you that.
But, I fuck with it,
you feel me?
- So...
- Aaron?
Hold on one sec.
- Take this up front.
- Okay.
Tell Derrick to fuck with you
with my discount code,
- a'ight?
- Okay.
You gonna text me? A'ight.
I'll see you later.
That ass stupid.
What's up?
Nothing, um...
How are you?
I'm good. Good.
How's ASC?
It's great.
How's, um...
How's here?
It's a'ight. You know.
Same old shit, different day,
you know how it goes.
Cool. Um... Yeah.
All right.
It's good to see you.
Hey.
Can I be honest with you?
I've never been more attracted
to you in my life.
Aaron...
♪ ♪
♪ I've waited, oh, so long ♪
♪ For you to come to me ♪
♪ What did I do wrong? ♪
♪ It's all a mystery to me ♪
♪ Baby, I feel it, too ♪
♪ What am I supposed to do? ♪
♪ Maybe I've just changed ♪
♪ Or can I be wrong for you? ♪