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Ashes to Ashes (2008–2010): Season 3, Episode 8 - Episode #3.8 - full transcript

The question remains - did Gene hunt kill Sam Tyler? Alex needs to know and all is revealed in the final episode. Meanwhile the rest of the team are dealing with a Jewelry robbery and triple homicide: diamonds are missing and the bodies of three gang members have been discovered. Things don't help with Jim Keats stirring up trouble as usual between team members.


A body found in a shallow grave may
be that of a police officer.

SHE SHRIEKS

Sam Tyler lost his life, murdered.
It's down to you to find out

from Hunt's own mouth how he did it,
where he did it and why he did it.

I don't care what he thinks. I care
what you think. If you don't believe
me, what's the point?

Oh, my God! It's all right,
Chris, we're all here.

I think we found our grave.

Do you have any idea how serious
this is? Yes, I do.

It's going to be one hell of a last
chapter, eh, Jimbo?

SINISTER LAUGHTER

COMMENTATOR: It's A Knockout!
And Alex is off!

Come on, Mum! You can do it!
She's found the numbers 6620!

Oh, Gene Hunt's after her.
He's gaining!

BOOING

Mummy, get up. He's coming!

Mummy!

Mummy, get up! He's coming!

Mummy! Mummy, get up! He's coming!

I have to know the truth.

The truth will set me free.

'Today, Gene.

'Today.'

MUSIC: "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell

We think it's a gangland hit, ma'am.
Do you know the Hardyman Gang?

Couple of cousins, aren't they?
Playing naughty boys? Not any more.

Alex, meet Ginger and Nobby.

It's all right, lads -
no need to get up.

Who's the other one? We don't know
about him yet. Time of death?

About 30 seconds
after their throats were unzipped.

A piece of, like, quartz has been
put into each of their gobs.

Adding a touch of class
to your gangland hit.

D'you get a good night's sleep
last night?

There'll be no eyewitness
statements. That's the thing
about these

underworld gangster bastard types -
very adept at the disappearing act.
They're not the only ones. Meaning?

You tell me.
You started the train of thought.

Come on, you two. You're at it
already. I haven't even had my
brekkie yet. Oh!

Don't think I'll ever
eat breakfast again.

What we do know is they were trying
to jump up the league table.

Prostitutes, heroin. Should
have stuck to sub-post offices.

Some people just
don't know a good thing.

Hey, what's that in Ginger's hand?

It's a phone number.

It's got a Fenchurch East prefix.

GINGER GROANS

Oh, God! You've got to be kidding me!

Did nobody take a pulse? His pulse
was all over the bloody floor!
Chris, get an ambulance now!

HE MUTTERS
What's he saying?

Sounds like a name.

What you saying, mate? Vicky P?

Drinking?

I've started a directory of all the
Victoria Ps in the city.

Why d'you think they put Schwartz
in their gobs? Quartz.
How the hell would I know?

I'm not a geographist.

You lot had better be working
like Chinamen on a bloody railway.

Ray, our third man.

What were those trousers? Tweed?
Bit country-set for a gangster.

Drawn a blank so far, guv.
Want a cuppa, guv?

No, but I'd like officers to know
when a person's dead before they
tell me

and I'd like answers to a triple
killing, Granger, you stupid plonk!

All right, guv. No need for that.

You think because you stood up to me
that you're Leon Spinks now, do you?
What is it that's getting at you?

I'll tell you - I've been too easy
on you lot.

Well, not any more. This place
is mine. You lot belong to me!
Not Drake.

Not Keats. Me!

Now somebody tell Drake to get
her bony, pointless arse
into my office ASA bloody P!

Those two should either get a room
or kill each other.

It's changed anyway. This whole
place feels different and we all
know it.

I thought it was cos I switched to
Denim For Men, but it's something
more. Not been the same since
Viv...

Since Viv went. Had a nightmare
about Viv. On his tod,

hunched up amongst all this fire
and... Stop it. Not interested.

OK. We all know something bloody
weird's going on. Well, write to
Arthur C Clarke's Mysterious World.

< Granger, seven sugars!

Farringfield Green.

It's just outside Bolton.

I could be there in four hours. I'm
ready to deliver my report on Hunt.

I'll keep the photo.

I should be in control
of the information, Alex.

SHE SIGHS

I'm, er...

I'm confused, Jim.

I mean, can that really be Sam
buried up there?

Sam asked Gene to help him.

He wanted to escape and Gene
helped him without question.

What, so Tyler's alive, is he?

Maybe living in Grand Canary? No.

No, Sam's dead, I know that.

But he hung on to life here
for as long as possible.

Except he was dead
and I know that I'm not.

Gene can't be the enemy.

The man has a dark side.
I mean, dear God, even Julie Andrews
would struggle not to see that.

What about Sam's girlfriend,
DC Anne Cartwright?

My office can't trace her either.
Maybe both of them are buried up
there. But why? Why would he?

Now, look, you and Sam...

You're different.

You both challenged this world
Gene's carefully built for himself.

That makes you dangerous to him.

You're not D and C, are you?

Who are you, Jim? Ssh.

Look, you've done so much to help
everybody else around you, Alex.

Now you have to help yourself.

And that means trusting me.

What's this? Every known gang
connected to the East End.

The Hardymans put their snout
in the wrong trough and
we've got to find out whose.

The third man talked about Vicky P.
Mentioned something about
drinking as he was dying.

Only thing that'll be on
my mind when my time comes.

Right, Shaz, cross-check.
See if any of those Vicky Ps have
got a pub licence. Got an ID on him.

Fingerprints were on Scotty Yard's
priority list. Walter Tavish.

Also known as Wally Travis,
William MacTarn and Bill Timmers.

Bloody hell. He could do
The Generation Game all on his own.
Walter Tavish. He's a fence.

He specialises in antique furniture.

No exactly Antiques Roadshow
material, are they?

I mean, they're gangsters. They
don't go around slicing each other
up over a bloody Welsh dresser.

This is a message. What are you
muttering through your lipstick,
woman?

These pieces of quartz were placed in
their mouths to make an ironic point.

Well, you'd better get on the blower
to the Ironic Crimes Division squad.

Well, at least acknowledge that
that's a lead, guv.

"Guv" again, is it?

You made a fool of me last night.

I'm sorry.

It was just... It was all too much.
Too much?

When you first came here, you
had it away with some yuppie twat.

Your knickers headed south so fast
they needed their own Railcard.

I didn't take this world
seriously then. I do now.

And me?

I take you very seriously, Gene.

Do you know our problem, Bols?

We've lost sight of who we are.

Hey, check this out. Terry and Bammo
nicked from some scrote last week.

Well tasty.

Yeah, so, you know, if you want to
ring Firearms, let 'em know
that we've still got it.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Did no-one hear that whistle?

God, I miss Viv.

MAN PLAYS A MILITARY SALUTE

That new Skip creeps me out.

He doesn't even get horny
over a sawn-off, the weirdo.

Chris, this phone number
on Ginger's hand.

The number doesn't exist, guv.

Did you copy it exactly?

Yep, took it from the forensic
of this fella's hand.

This dried blood
has made that 3 into an 8.

Here's the OS map of Lancashire
you asked for, ma'am.

Thanks, Shaz. Thank you.

DI Drake, my office.
I...I'm just, um...

Now.

Why did Shaz bring you that map?

Because...er, it's somewhere in the
world I've always wanted to visit.

It's just that your idea of heading
north is a trip to Brent Cross.

This is about bloody Tyler again.

It's nothing.

Go. Just go home.

What? If a female officer is
causing disconsternation amongst her
male colleagues,

it is the right of
the senior officer to transfer her.

Disconsternation is not a word. You,
a woman, are upsetting a
predominantly male environment.

No, I'm upsetting you because I
didn't sleep with you last night.

You are the most immature man I've
ever met. Bet I'm not. Yes, you are.
Not. Oh, God. Give me strength.

I don't think I can be in the same
room as you any more, Alex. Why?

Because you're so angry
you might do something?

This is mine, all this. Keats is
about to bring it down around me and
you are trying to rip my guts out.

Well, I'm not going to let
either of you weaken me any more.

You know, I've wanted to believe
the best in you for so long.

And now...

Now I just don't know what to think.
I'm going to level with you.

It's funny, but, er, yeah,
I think I was trying to impress you.

But after last night,
well, you're just...

You're just a hindrance.

If Jim Keats comes to see you,
you tell me.

If you don't,
I will consider it an act of war.

Did Sam commit an act of war?

The last thing Sam told me was
that he was gagging for a pint.

I said, "Get one in for me an' all."

No threats,
no shouting, no violence.

Just two mates talking about
the boozer.

That's the number but they're not
picking up.

Guv, there's no reports of
any jewel blags in the City.

What about the Croppers,
the Bartholomew mob?
Any of those dirty bastards?

Not a dickybird. Most of the tasty
gangs are in stir. We've got our best
snouts out. Could be foreign.

Get onto Euro-Plod.
Main switchboard's in Lions. Lyon.
Yes, thank you, Mrs Alan Wicker.

Let's get our garlic-munching
friends to put their horse burgers
down and put tabs on who's active.

Guv, Rachel Miller,
Flat B, number 47 Anton Close.

Good, go pay her a visit. Take Shaz.
This is what I like to
see - the machine working.

Oh, guv, DCI Keats says he's
got something for you. Oh, joy(!)

Lucky old me.

I'm heading off to Rachel Miller's.
Are you ready, Shaz?

Oh, yeah.
Oi. Fax through from Lyon.

There's only one Euro-bastard fits
their profile. Eric Hooty-Hee.

What's that? Swedish? Eric Hoorsten.
Gem smuggling. Amsterdam.

He's Hollandaise, you twonk. Dutch.

You say Dutch.
"La known associates, Wally Timms."

That's an AKA for Tavish.

Best porn's on VHS. Betamax.
I'm a sucker for quality.

Well, you want to get yourself
into CID and watch my team
working as a unit.

You asked me for any old files
from the Yard on gem smuggling.

I got intel. "Intel"?

There's posh.

Tell you what - you get
"reconnoitre" into a sentence,

I might buy you a fish supper.
Walter Tavish.

Once handled gems out of
Sierra Leone. Fed through London
and on into Europe.

What, so Tavish was fencing for
a foreign gang,

then he switched his allegiance
to the Hardymans,

who wanted to muscle in, but were
killed for it. Well, I've got myself
a contact -

Rachel Miller. Something tells me
she's going to be key.

That old Gene Hunt nous.

That's what wound up Sam Tyler -
those grand hunches of yours.

What's this? Your packed lunch?
My report.

On you.

Fascinating reading.

TV ANNOUNCER: 'And here comes
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,

'by the grace of God, Queen of
this realm and her other realms
and territories.'

Guv, we've got a suspect.

Guv, did you hear me?
We think the Hardymans were
killed by a Dutch outfit.

Am I invisible? Had another tiff
with the ma'am.

What, and their little moods
dictate the way we do our jobs?

Sod 'em both. This is
my investigation from now on.
Little bit busy at the minute, sir.

Perhaps you could look at these
when you get a moment.
Not health and safety, are they?

Well, they concern those things.

Trust me -
they're in your best interests.

< SHAZ: Rachel?

Ray!

They were looking for something
in the bins.

Rachel Miller was an air hostess
with NetherFly Air.

Business hops from the London East
Aerodrome to Holland.

According to her work diary,
she was due out on a flight
at 12 noon tomorrow.

And she's written in the top corner
here "48-3B".

Hang on.

She's written the same thing on
her kitchen calendar. Look.

"48-3B". She's circled it three
times.

Think it's a flight number?

No. No, it doesn't match.

It's horrible.

All that's left of this poor girl.

Oh, Shaz.

Chuffin' hell - they're all 50s!

Works for a Dutch airline,
knows Tavish and she's wadded up.
She's the courier.

If she's the courier but doesn't
have the gems... Tavish hid 'em

before Hoorsten got to him.
So where are they now?

What about this other girl -
the one Tavish mentioned before he
died, Vicky P? Maybe she knows.

MUSIC: "In The Air Tonight"
by Phil Collins

# I can feel it

# Coming in the air tonight

# Oh, Lord

# And I've been waiting
for this moment

# For all my life

# Oh, Lord. #

DISTORTED: 'Police believe
the body...may be that
of a police officer.'

Someone must have found it,
pinned it on.

There's a body buried here, Gene.

It was on the news
in my hospital room.

Please tell me it's not Sam.

Right, we can't let this one go cold
on us, so chase all your snouts.

I want to hear every
whisper on Hoorsten.

Anything on any grapevine anywhere.
All right?

OK, Ray.

Chris, I've told you before.

I don't want to see a lady bearing
both her bottoms whilst I'm working.

I'll move 'em later, Shaz.
Turn 'em face down
and you won't see any bottoms.

48-3B.

48, Hackney. 3B, Victoria Park.

Yeah, locals call it Vicky Park.

BOTH: Vicky P.

Stop.

I said stop!

No!

It's him.

Keats was right about you, Gene,
all this time.

And I believed in you.

More than that.

Skinny.

He was...

He was a skinny lad,
needed fattening up.

It was Morrison said that.

His mentor,

PC Morrison.

Yeah, it was Coronation Day.

That was a funny one.

His first week on the beat.

But he had Morrison to guide him.

That was until somebody gave
the old fella a nip of whisky

and before you know it, he's
hokey cokeying with the locals.

Young bobby's suddenly on his own.

Someone broke in here.

He heard 'em.

Thought they were kids.

So he kicks the door open, you know,
like John Wayne or Jimmy Stewart.

Bam - in he goes.

See, in here...

In here, he's not some
snotty kid in a uniform.

Oh, no, he's Gary Cooper
in High Noon. He's the law.

Only they weren't kids.

It was a man with a shotgun.

GUNSHOT

He didn't deserve a shallow grave,
did he?

Did he, Alex?

No.

No, you didn't.

Why didn't you tell me?

All your swagger and your bullshit,

but in reality...
I forgot everything.

You know what?

I wish I still had.

KEATS: Oh, that is beautiful.

Corny but, er,

very atmospheric.

So...

There we are.
This boy in a man's uniform.

Head swimming with
machismo and bravado and...

something else ending in O.

Oh, I can't think of another one.
BANG!

It's over.

And you're here.

What is "here"?

Tell me.

Gene, is it, er... Is it...

coming back to you?
Can you help the lady out?
KEATS CHUCKLES

It's, er...

Somewhere where we go
to sort ourselves...

Coppers.

You're talking
about people who are...

People who...

You've got to admit -
when you know the truth
about him, it explains a lot.

Ego. An immature relationship
with alcohol.

A curious uncertainty
about the opposite sex.

Gradually, they came to you -

those who had issues
with their passing,

and you tucked in their shirts
and you wiped their noses.

Huh?

Sorting out the troubled souls
of Her Majesty's Constabulary.

Ray, Chris, Shaz.

Oh, they've been here a long time,
haven't they, eh? A lot of issues.

You touch them,

I will snap your neck
like a Twiglet.

Oh, perfect.

A little bit of boyish defiance
left in you. Magic.

This man has had them...

Has had them imprisoned
in his fantasy.

And I've watched you help them
lay their demons to rest, Alex.

Just the one thing they
don't know is that, unlike you...

they're compromised.

Alex...

Sam.

Sam came back here after he
threw himself off that building,

but he knew that it couldn't last.

Did you help them both
on their way, Gene?

Did you?

Sam and Annie?

Well, I knew Sam had to go.

End of.

You helped Sam.

Do I mean nothing to you, Gene?

I only wanted to get back
to my little girl.

That's all.

He doesn't want you home.

He wants you here with him.

No, I've fought so hard.

Oh, you have, yeah.

You've been amazing.

Listen, you have done
all you can to get home.

There's just one last
thing to accomplish, Alex.

Help me explain the truth
to Ray, Chris and Shaz.

I'm doing this for Molly.

Because she can't be without me.

You placed your trust
in the wrong person, is all.

Hunt will try to twist you
around his finger one last time.

I promise you, before this is over,

he will try and trick you,
and when that moment comes,

you will...know.

We're at Vicky Park, Ray.

There's a drinking fountain.

Yeah, that must be the jackpot.

He said "Vicky P" and "drinking".

BOTH: Bloody hell!

MUSIC ON RADIO: "Club Tropicana"
by Wham!

Oh, what a song!

I LOVE this car!

The others need to know the truth,
Gene. They deserve the truth.

Does it matter now? Of course
it matters, because then I've
accomplished what I was sent to do.

I think we should listen to this
over and over again
all the way home.

# There's enough for everyone. #

Thank you, sir.

Word is out. Hoorsten thinks the gems
are being delivered to the airport by
the remains of the Hardyman gang.

They must be bricking it - doing
everything to make him happy.

Hoorsten takes possession
and we swing in like Tarzan.

Like lots of Tarzans in cars.

Shaz, you up for this?
Yeah. Absolutely.

If we want to nail 'em proper, we
got to get them taking possession.
It's a blinder. Well done, Ray.

Ray.

Yeah.

Who needs the guv, eh?

MILITARY MARCHING MUSIC PLAYS

I'm sorry, Dad.

HE HUMS THE THEME TO
"The Professionals"

Very Lewis Collins, don't you think?

More like Joan Collins.

Yeah, very good. I knew you
had a sense of humour somewhere.

Well, I was going to marry you,
so I must have.

Still holding out for the real
Lewis Collins, are you?

No. Who are you holding out for?

Ray, what resources do you need
for the raid?

You need to see it.

GUNSHOTS ON TV >

'Skelton!

CHRIS: 'We need back-up, sir!
Why don't we wait?

'Don't ask stupid questions.
Just do as you're told!

'Follow me.'

She has to see it. No!
What's going on?

Give me that. Shaz, I'm begging you.
Please don't.

Give it to me!

MUSIC ON TV: "Wonderwall" by Oasis

'# There are many things that I

'# Would like to say to you... #

'Stop right there!

'Drop it.

'# Cos maybe

'# You're gonna be the one
that saves me. #'

No!

All this time!

I felt so angry, so frustrated.

I know, Shaz.

I thought it was the job.

And it isn't fair! Get off me!

Leave me alone, Chris!

I haven't even had a life!

SINISTER LAUGHTER

Right. Before we go in,
just one little thing.

No!

All up to speed on
health and safety? Good.

So now you know you've all been
denied the truth by HIM!

A skinny little kid.

Look at him.

Look at your guv.

HE ROARS

Yeah! Come on!

HE SHOUTS AND SCREAMS

You want to know the truth!

CRASHING

Isn't it beautiful?!
HE CHUCKLES MANIACALLY

Woo-hoo!

Whoo!

Oh, come on!

You didn't think this was like
a real police station, did you?

What - you that think that
they actually work like this?

It's his game!

He lied to you! He didn't lie.

He didn't lie. He'd just forgotten.

We just wanted to make him proud.
Don't you make him into a liar, Jim.

The guv says "jump" and you ask
how high. I have done that before.

I have followed a man who told me
to jump and I jumped into a bullet.

I...

I can't think. I can't think.

This isn't helping anybody.

This is just....

This is just sick gloating.

It's not fair. I'm 26 years old.

I want to see my mum.

Chris, I need to see my mum.

Shaz.

You can all still have that life.
You're living one now, aren't you?

No, no, they're not. They're...

You breathe, you laugh, you love.

Oh, trust me, this is living.
All the life you need.

No. I'm offering you life
on YOUR terms.

Your dreams. Your way.

I have a whole new
department waiting for you.

We can transfer you there right now,

where you will all get
what you deserve.

What, Scotland Yard?

SHAZ: There is no Scotland Yard,
Chris.

The important thing is that
you're happy and fulfilled.

He oppresses you.
I won't be on your backs.

(Get up.) Bullying, belittling.

And every night,
the drinks are on me.

Ray?

(Get up.)

You've still got something
to give, haven't you?

You want to forget all that pain.

Your dad,
the disappointment of a failed son.

Ray, what do you want to do?

You can't... You can't just go,
not like this. Why not?

What is there here, boss? Ma'am?

I mean, look at it.
Look at it, Alex.

Shazza, come on.

TEARFULLY: No. Not after everything.

Do you know why I put
that rope around my neck?

After bottling the Army, I just...

I just fell into being a copper.

I took it out on a young lad
who was only pissing up
at the side of a pub.

But I ended up killing him.

And my DCI, who was not
a million miles away from him...

..covered it up.

I'm not leaving him.

Not like this.

He's done.

Alex?

Go to hell.

All right.

MUSIC: "Holiday" by Madonna

DS Cleaves, DCs Janis and Michaels.

Or Robbie, Kate and Abbie
if you prefer.

Cheers, Rob. Sir.

Looking good.

Hi, it's me.

Me.

Transferring three officers
from Fenchurch East CID
on secondment to my department.

Which one's the blonde?

Abbie.

You'll get to know them
in the clubhouse.

Friday nights are cocktail nights.
Abbie gets off her face.

Dancing on the tables -

all sorts. Lovely.
RAY CHUCKLES

Yeah, I'm here.

Well, no worries, Dave. I'm hoping
they'll be here for a while,

so let's shuffle the paperwork
through on it, yeah?
I want them on Serious Crime.

They can handle it.

Cheers, ears.
See you for a pint later, mate.

You know, when I first came here,

I can't tell you how scared I was.

Spent half my life studying
psychosis and there I was -

thought I was
as mad as a bag of bees.

You looked good, though. I was
dressed as a prostitute. My point.

And there was this car...

And those boots...

And you.

Gene Hunt.
My real name is Nigel Perkins.

No, I'm joking. It's Gene Hunt.

You know,
you're the most difficult...

stubborn...

obnoxious...

misogynistic and reckless
human being I've ever met.

Come on.
Surely you've missed one out.

And yet somehow,
you make us all feel safe.

It's over, Bolly.

It's no use trying to cheer me up.

Just tell me.

What happened to Sam?

You said the last thing
you did was go to the pub.

Why?

You don't need to put the word "why"

after the word "pub".

Why? Because that's
what you do after a job.

You foil a blag,
you go to the boozer.

But is that how it's meant to end,
Gene?

According to this,

Ray's planned a raid at
the London East aerodrome.

Eric Hoorsten.

They're planning to put Shaz in
undercover, arrest them in the act
of receiving the gems.

That's very ambitious.

Well done, Ray. Why do you even care?

Because we're coppers.
That's what we do.

Have you got any better ideas? Yes,

and it involves 18 pints, a dozen
whisky chasers and a barmaid

with honkers like a pair of
Wehrmacht Zeppelins. Guv!
Don't call me that!

The flight's at 12.

High Noon.

Back-up.

Put Terry on the perimeter fence...

Terry?!
Any idea how bad his eyesight is?

They call him Mr Magoo behind
his back. All right - Bammo.

Why don't you draw them in to
the cargo hangar? Cargo hangar.

Put Bammo and Cotsey on perimeter.
Keep 'em out of it till things start
getting a bit tasty.

Keep the pandas well out of it.
They can stay up on
the apron road, which...

Oh, give over, woman.

Here, just west of the runway.
This line of trees.

You won't see them from there.
Useless bunch of Woodentops.
Why are we doing this, Bolly?

I've lost my bloody team.

No, they'll come. Chris took a radio.

They don't want to lose you, guv.

ALEX, ON RADIO: 'DC Skelton,
can you hear me? Please respond.'

This may not be appropriate, ma'am.
Just throw it away, Chris.
Yeah, just ditch it, Chris.

Stand by, DC Skelton.

No, I can't.

You can. I can't.

This is your new life now.
Come on, embrace it.

Chris.

GENE, ON RADIO: 'I've had a look
at your investigation.
It's bloody impressive.

'You're just missing
one crucial element. Me.

Granger, I'm promoting you
to DC, effective immediately.

Which is my way of saying,
"Get your stocking chops
back here pronto-tonto."

We need that jewel switch.

'Otherwise a decent brief's going to
have them Dutch boys clog-dancing
their way out of court.'

Christopher, Raymondo,

'what is a sheriff without his
finest deputies? I'll tell you -
he's nothing.

I don't like being nothing. It's
not attractive. I need you lads.

Throw that man away.

And when it's all over...

we'll go to the pub.

The boozer.

OUR boozer.

Ray?

DI Carling! Ray, without
full back-up, the guv'll be exposed.

LIFT: 'Lift going down.'

Get in!
SCREAMING FROM LOWER FLOOR

What was that? Nothing. Let's go!

'I know you won't let me down.

'You never have.'

Well, maybe once or twice, but, er,

mostly not.

See you in the field.

Chris, Hunt doesn't care about you.

Soon as you're back,
he'll be treating you like shit.

Look what I'm offering you.

Ray, what are you thinking, mate?

Chris, I'm not sure about this.

Be smart.

Come on.

You're Gene Hunt.

You're their guv.

That's what I'm here for...

..if nothing else.

Thank you.

They'll be expecting a courier, guv.

DI Carling? DC Skelton?

I'm sorry, guv.

Are you all right, Shaz?

About wearing
a dead woman's clothes?

Seems appropriate, ma'am.

Morning.

ALL: Morning, guv. Right, they're
from Holland and they're nasty.

Apprehend with rampant prejudice.
Seen the map? Yes, guv.
Know your positions? Yes, guv.

Are you armed bastards? Yes, guv!

Right, gentlemen.

Saddle up.

MUSIC: "Beat It" by Michael Jackson

# Just beat it, beat it, beat it,
beat it...

# Beat it, beat it. #

Hoorsten's just arrived.

'All units sit tight.'

SHAZ: 'Standing by.'

It's nearly 12. Could have
done with Ray and Chris here.

They'll show. No, they won't.
We lost 'em to Keats, Bolly.
It's not going to happen.

All units stand by.
Get ready for take-down.

Good day, gentlemen.

Hello, angel.

You have something for me?

Heel mooi.

I heard my friends in London
would return these to me.

The Hardyman Boys.

Perhaps now, gentlemen,
if you'd care to embark.

After you, sweetness. Of course.

I'll just get my flight bag.

Who the hell are you?! Get off.

Right.

Droppen ze shooters.
Ich bin bloody nicked!

Don't move.

Maak ze af die smerissen!

Jesus!

MUSIC: "Chariots of Fire" by Vangelis

He's killed the Quattro.

He's bloody killed my Quattro.

Oi!

I'm arresting you for murdering
my car, you dyke-digging toss-pot!

That's a take-down. Job done.

So what now, then, guv?

Pub. Pub.

Pub. Pub.

Pub.

Oh, bugger.

But this isn't...

Nice to see you again, mon brave.

Beer still the same, Nelson?

Of course it is.

Never mind.

It can't be. It's...

Ray, stop acting the drippy Alice
and get a round in

and get one in for me an' all.

You keep him out of trouble,
Detective Constable Granger.
Yes, guv.

Not coming in, guv?
No, not right now.

Don't want a pint?

A red wine? Or a short?

Pint and a chaser? Crisps?
Scratchings? Or both?

I mean, Nelson does Ringos.

I love you, Chris.
Not Lewis Collins.

You. I'll always love you,
forever and a day. You got that?

Fab.

Coming, Ray?

You are and always will be...

the guv.

Danger of getting poofy, Raymondo.

Sorry, guv.

See you in a minute, boss...
Er, ma'am.

NELSON: Come on. Come on through.

I just put on a fresh barrel.

Spoof you for the second round.
I'm not spoofing.

SHAZ: Spoofing?
What, is that like spooning?

I love this pub and I'm not taking a
plonk in if she's going to spoil it.

Don't panic, Ray. I ain't going to be
no gooseberry. Blimey, I'm amazed you
two never tied the knot.

It's legal in Holland. Can we talk
about something else, like...women
or snooker? Football?

Come on. Crisps?

Any kind of pub talk.

Now you're talking.

NELSON: All right. What you having?

So, that's it.

I help bring them here with you.

It's over.

I've done it. I can go home, Gene.

Gene.

I'm lying in a hospital bed!

Come here, Bols.

No, it isn't true!

KEATS: Of course it's not true. >

He wants you
to give up on your life.

I told you he'd trick you.

Here, Alex.

It's Molly's.

It's hers!

She's waiting for you.

I can take you to her, Alex.

What time is it?

What?

What time is it? Show me your watch.
No. No. It's broken.

It's 9.06.

It's always 9.06.

That was the time in my
hospital room. Alex...

That was the time. No, look...

That was the time. Look, Alex, I...

Hello, Jimbo.

Goodbye, Jimbo.

HE GRUNTS AND GROANS IN PAIN

My baby.

I know, I know, I know.

Way of the world, Alex.

She'll be fine.

All right.

Listen...

Listen to me...

I can stay here...with you.

You can't do this on your own.
You need me, Gene. I can't...
I can't go in there!

Yes, you can.

They've got a saloon bar.

Can't have you putting me
off my stride, can I?

I'll end up wondering if I'm not
completely right all the time.

We can't have that.

Weren't bad, though, were we?

Here.

See you round, Bolly-Kecks.

Goodbye, guv.

Go.

MUSIC PLAYS INSIDE:
# Is there life on Mars? #

KEATS GRUNTS

KEATS CHUCKLES

All alone.

No-one to care.

Ahh...

diddums.

HE CHUCKLES >

HE GROWLS LIKE AN ANIMAL

# We'll meet again

# Don't know where

# Don't know when. #

All alone, Gene.

See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.

HE CHUCKLES

# Is there life on Mars? #

What the hell is this? >

Where's my office? >

One of you jokers give me back
my iPhone. Now! >

Who the hell do you think you are?
This is my office.

Right here. Where's my office?

One of you morons say something!

WHERE'S MY OFFICE?!

A word in your shell-like, pal.

# We can be heroes

# Just for one day

# We can be heroes

# We can be heroes

# We can be heroes. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk

So, it was all sorted out in the
end, and no bones broken, luckily.

Well, I don't know about you,
but I'm going to knock off.

I'm beginning to fancy my supper.

See you next week. Ta-ta.

HE WHISTLES
"Maybe It's Because I'm a Londoner"

# We can be heroes. #