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Ashes to Ashes (2008–2010): Season 3, Episode 2 - Episode #3.2 - full transcript

A severed hand is sent to the police station and investigations link it to the murders of several women around the country,all of whom had used the Crescent Moon dating agency. After Alex has unsuccessfully carried out an experiment in speed dating, Shaz,disillusioned with her job and seeking a challenge,goes undercover to trap the killer.

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Who are you? Can you tell
me what any of this means?

I'm a bit of a superstitious person
and I happen to agree with you, Alex.

You are back for a reason. Gene Hunt
is at the heart of this, you were right.

You fooled everyone
into believing in you.

But I have the unpopular job of
showing the world what you really are.

I know what you did. Three years ago.

The things you've done, they won't
want to believe it, but in the end,

they will see.

MUSIC: "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel

# Uptown girl, she's been
living in her uptown world

# I bet she never had a backstreet guy

# I bet her mama never told her why

# I'm gonna try for an uptown girl

# She's been living in
her white bread world

# As long as anyone with hot blood can

# And now she's looking
for a downtown man

# That's what I am

# And when she knows what
she wants from her time

# She'll say I'm not so tough

# Just because I'm in
love with an uptown girl

# She's been living in
her white bread world

# As long as anyone with hot... #


Where is everybody?



How much longer you going to
be? Cos you're doing my head in!

Sorry, love. Got to drag
this place into 1983.

Got one of your migraines, Shaz?

Just shut up.

Who did this?Don't know, ma'am.

Right, this is CID, not the
Radio One bloody roadshow!

Listen up. Keats is in today, wants to interview
you all about the efficiency of the ship I run.

What are you looking at?


# Uptown girl... #

'My name is Alex Drake.

'I was shot and found myself in
1983. Is it real? Or in my mind?

'Either way, I have to solve the mystery of
what all this means and fight to get home.

'Because time is running out.'

Have I got a treat for you, my
friend. In the interview room.

No, I've got to open the post.

Sod the post. Come on, come on.


Look at the puppies on them!

Who are they? I pulled
them for speeding.

They were in Daddy's car so they're
desperate for me to lose the paperwork.

I've got to go and open the post. What is wrong with
you? I'm talking a couple of hand jobs-here, minimum.

I don't want a hand-job.What
do you want?Love. Look it up.

Pillow biter.

What?So did somebody get out of the
wrong side of the bed this morning?

Yes, they did. Since D&C have taken
such a keen interest in our progress,

I now find myself with five times the
paperwork. You can't have five times nothing.

If I'd known about Driller Killer there, I wouldn't
have opened a second bottle of whisky. What is it?

Sam Tyler.

I told you, Bolly, I'm
not talking about it.

But why? I'm not asking you to be
disloyal to his memory, I just...

Sam Tyler was a friend of
mine. Sam Tyler died. End of.

It is not a subject for small talk. I
know how fond of him all of you were.

I just wanted to find out
a little more about him.

How he died.Are you deaf?

Who put this on my desk?

Who put this on my desk!?

Shaz? What's the matter? Sorry,
love. I only put it down for a minute.


Oi! If you're riding the cotton pony,
you can bloody go home and do it.

Don't be disgusting. Shaz?
Shaz? What's happened?

Just leave me alone!
What's wrong with her?

Ever since you've
stopped giving her one...

Right, sit down and do some bloody work!

I've got D&C coming down
on me like a ton of bricks

and all you bastards can do is
bicker like girls. It stops now.

Right, can we just have five minutes peace and
quiet while I feed my hangover a small Scotch?

Thank you.

What the...


Looks like you got your
hand-job after all, mate.

I'd say a young woman, between
her late teens and late twenties.

No rings.When did she die?

About three days ago. It's
just starting to decompose.

Oh, good, it's not my aftershave, then.

Was the hand removed pre or post-mortem?
Post. But only by an hour or so.

Anything under the fingernails?

What's your guess at the
instrument used?Hard to say.

Very sharp blade. Not hacked.

Right, all done?

I've probably got 18 forms
to fill in about this.

There was one interesting thing.

What? You see the
raised welt on the palm?

Like a burn. That's
precisely what it is.

Like she's been branded.

Shaz, get me the missing person reports
for the last week. We need to ID that hand.

You two, look over the unsolved murder
files of young women over the past two years.

Pay special attention to the
mortuary reports and photographs.

I've got arrest forms to fill in. I'll
get to it later. You'll get to it now.

You can't pull rank on
me, Alex. Not any more.

I'm telling you, Bolly, this
is a one-off.I'm not so sure.

Branding a victim is a very
specific psychological trigger.

If they've killed before, they could
have left the same on other bodies,

a calling-card that wasn't
being looked for before.

I don't buy it. If this nutter has done this
before, why haven't we been sent body parts before?

Maybe his situation's changed
and he wants us to know.

If we don't pick up on this clue, he might feel
the need to send us another one.Another murder?

An interesting theory. Sorry. Not my case.
Sorry. Can we be of assistance, James?

Just continuing my
interviews. DI Carling, please.

Ma'am?Yes, Chris?

It's Shaz. She's not been
herself these last few days.

What's the matter with
her? No idea.Have you asked?

She won't give me the time of day. All
right, I'll have a word. Thanks, ma'am.

Chris? You were friends
with Sam Tyler, weren't you?

Not sure about "friends". He was more
of a mentor, really. An amazing bloke.

Were you there when they
found his car in the river?No.

The blaggers split up and so did we. It
was the Guv and Ray who found his car.

Right. Thanks.

Why do you ask?No reason.

Ma'am? I think I might have
something. Look under her left arm.

It's a crescent.

Her name's Fiona Day. They found her
body in a shallow grave in Hoxton.

Shaz, who was the investigating officer?

The investigating officer was Gene Hunt.

It's not much, but it's home.

It's hotter than a
Majorcan minge in here!

Sorry. Poor blood circulation.
Tell me about leaving Manchester.

When we came down south with the
Guv, we didn't know what we'd find.

I'm not saying we played it completely by
the book. I'm glad you're not saying that.

But we created something
special down here. We're a team.


Even she has her moments.

Your loyalty does you credit.

It's not loyalty, it's the truth.

Listen, Ray, I haven't come here
to bury Fenchurch East or Gene Hunt.

Just tell your mates that I'm just
a man trying to do a difficult job.

If they help me, I
think I can make it work.

All right?

Fiona Day. You didn't
find a single suspect?

There was an ex-husband, but he was as
devastated as anyone, had a cast-iron alibi.

I found nothing. Except for the mark under
her arm. That wasn't brought to my attention.

I went to her funeral. You
went to a victim's funeral?

I felt I'd let her
down, Bolly. Still do.

There must be some
connection. Take it wide.

Get in touch with every force in the country, tell
them to dig out their old pathology reports.Guv.

'The first beetles to arrive are males.

'They use the dung to attract a mate.

'The bigger your ball,
the better your chances...'

'What "T" can be used as an occupational name
and a given name for both genders?''Tyler.

'Meaning door keeper of an inn.' 'What
"M" means to kill with premeditation?'

'Murder.''Speak up, please, Sharon.'


So that's six young women
murdered over a three year period.

Each of them branded somewhere
with the shape of a crescent.

I can't believe nobody picked up
on it.Nobody was looking for them.

What connects the cities?
There's London, obviously.

Bristol, Sheffield, Norwich and
Newcastle.They've all got crap football teams.

Maybe the killer was
a travelling salesman.

Maybe he's covering his
tracks, keeping it arbitrary.

I don't believe in "arbitrary". There's a
sequence, a pattern, we just haven't found it yet.

So what about the girls?
They're all dark-haired, slim.

Turning tricks? No
evidence that they were.

The only thing that really
links these girls is their death.

There must be something else that
links them.Social club? Don't think so.

Each victim was buried in a
shallow grave on waste ground.

And the branding. What's that all about?

Forensics said that the edges were quite
defined, you know, like the brand wasn't homemade.

Chris, the package the hand was in? Sent from a post
office six streets away. No fit on the handwriting.

Nobody has a thought about anything else until
we nail this. There's a pattern here. We find it.

When are we at our most vulnerable? Ray?

I'm never vulnerable.
When we're in love?

When we're just out of love, Bolly.

When we're feeling scared and we think we're
going to spend the rest of our lives on our own.

Who are we talking about here?
Fiona Day was recently divorced.

Friends said she was devastated
over the failure of her marriage,

she feared loneliness, and was hoping for a
fresh start. Debbie Saunders, divorced two years.

Nelly Jones, divorcee.

Martha Davis, divorcee.I still
don't see how this helps us.

You're a scummy sort of guy, Ray. I beg
your pardon?! Where do you go to meet women?

Same places as most blokes do. Bus
stations, pubs, art galleries. Art galleries?

Scientifically proven.
Lonely birds love art.Ray...

Where else?

I don't know. And I refute
the insinuation that you...

Where else?

Dating agencies. I mean, so I've heard.

They're popping up all over
the place for men to meet women.

So I've heard.Shaz. Where's
that Cosmo you were reading?

Oi! If you don't stop whistling,
I'll rip your lips off.

There was an article about
it. You haven't been to one?

Of course not. They're for sad losers, those
kind of places. And the lonely and the vulnerable.

I read that article on female circumcision,
Ma'am. Very interesting.Here it is...

The Crescent Moon Dating Agency.
Founded by Elaine Downing.

She sets up new branches, gets them up
and running, then franchises them out.

What sort of sad bastard
uses an agency like that?

Sad bastards like Ray, I reckon.
I have not used a dating agency!

If you suggest that one more
time, I'll kick your arse!

You'll have to kick mine first.
It lists the agency's offices.

Hoxton, Bristol, Sheffield,
Norwich, Newcastle.

A new one has just opened up in
Fenchurch a couple of months ago.

Let's go and hang her upside down
and see if any murderers fall out.

You can't go in there like a bull in a
china shop, we'll scare our killer off.

I've got a feeling he's
about to kill again.

Maybe he'll choose a woman from this
Fenchurch branch. Your alternative is?

Well, I could go in as bait. Pretend
I'm a lonely woman looking for love.

No change there, then.

No, I don't like it.It would
impress the hell out of Keats.

I could have got the bus.
Quite happily have got the bus.

Fenchurch East has got a comparatively poor
clean-up rate. How do you feel about that, Chris?

It's only because we don't fill
in the paperwork half the time.

The Guv says we were put on this earth
to catch bad people, not to push pens.

Nothing wrong with pens.

Would you say all your arrests
have been above-board and legal?

Define "legal".

Created by, permitted by, in conformity
with, or relating to... the law.

Yes. Well... I suppose... technically.

I see you've put down on your
assessment form that you're ambitious.

I think I am, yes.

Only you've been with DCI
Hunt for some years now.

Isn't it time you got out from his
shadow, spread your wings a bit?

I guess I'm not an ambitious man, then.

I can't think of anywhere else I'd
rather be than in the Guv's shadow.

I wish I could say the
same about a senior officer.

I envy you.

Doesn't look much, does it?

I'm not sure about you
doing this on your own, Bols.

What are you doing?

Trying to look plain
and a little desperate.

What do you think? Just
don't get yourself killed.

Wouldn't play well with
our Jimbo Keats, eh?

Well, I'll try not to.

Fabulous puppies.

Steady on, mate, she's
been dead two years.

Not her. The twins.

Come on, me and you, double date,
what do you say?I don't know.


What? >

Nothing. You don't mind if Chris
starts going out on dates again, do you?

Nothing to do with me...

Moves on. Rediscovers his
mojo. All right, all right.

Puts his face between two
big, lovely funbags and goes...

Like I said, it's nothing to do with me.

I'll give them a ring.

So all you need to do is fill out this form so
that we can learn some of your likes and dislikes.

I'll then circulate your details to any of our
gentlemen that I think might be of interest to you.

Is it safe? It is, as
long as you're sensible.

Meet in a busy public place, tell
a friend where you're going...

Have any of your dates ever gone wrong?You're
a very attractive woman, Ms Winslet.

Call me Kate.

I don't suppose you've had
any trouble finding gentlemen.

It's finding the right one
that seems to be the problem.

My husband and I were divorced
last year.Sorry to hear that.

Do you think that might be a
problem with any of your gentlemen?

You know the stigma that's
attached to being a divorcee.

Can I help you? I'm looking
for love. You got any?

I'm not seeing a kids' film. It's not
a kids' film. Alec Guinness is in it.

Oh aye, and what's the name of his
character? Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi.

We, my friend, are going
to go and see The Hunger.

Catherine Deneuve and Susan
Sarandon in a sci-fi lesbian romp.

D'you fancy the flicks, Shaz?

No, thank you.


Why did you have to come crashing in like
that? I was just getting somewhere with her.

I'm not letting you take all
the glory with Little Jimmy.

You can't stand not
being in control, can you?

You know,

you presuppose that the killer is a man.

Well, what if I manage to flush
out that the killer is a woman?

Control freak.

What did you put for Favourite Meal?

It's personal. It's a
police investigation.

I once had the most
amazing roast foie gras

with gooseberry, braised
Konbu and crab biscuit.

What did you put?Steak and chips.

Favourite Artist?

Herb Alpert and His
Tijuana Brass. Herb Alpert?!

Yes, women love it.
Reminds them of sun and sea,

and getting poked behind an electricity
substation in Torremolinos. What did you put?

Georges Braque.

You'll get every soppy, pustular virgin
this side of the Blackwall Tunnel.

At least I'll get some replies.

"Favourite Drink - bitter, but only from
central Manchester. Favourite Film - High Noon.

"Most Admired Person
- Winston Churchill.

"Philosophy On The Opposite Sex
- Maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom."

Women admire honesty, Bols. You know how many
replies you're going to get, don't you? None.

I'm just off home, Guv. Bye, Shaz.

What's the matter with that girl?

"Favourite Film
- Thelma & Louise." Never heard of it.Not out yet.

"Favourite drink
- Sauvignon Blanc, but only from the South Island of New Zealand."

Where does Shaz live?
No idea, never asked her.

And I've told you more than once,
Bolly, Nelson Mandela is a terrorist.

You following me?

I don't know what's up with me, Ma'am.

I just... I know I'm
letting the team down.

You're not letting anyone down,
Shaz, we're just worried about you.

You're not your usual
happy, battling self.

I know I'm not.

Is everything all right at home? Yeah.

Is it Chris? I miss
Chris a bit, I guess.

But I know it's right we're
not together.So what is it?

I think it might be the police force.

The police?All I'd ever wanted to be was
a copper and I was so proud when I made it.

Shaz, you're such a good cop.
You're getting better by the day.

I just don't feel I belong, Ma'am,
if truth be told.Of course you do.

You're amazing. You take all their insults
and sarcasms and you turn that into energy.

I just don't know how to do that. Deep down, at
the end of the day, we all want the same thing.

We want a strong CID.I think you
lot would be better off without me.

No, Shaz.

And I think I might be a lot
happier without you lot, too.

Well, we'll keep talking.

Goodnight again, Shaz.

Night. Oh, and Ma'am?

You're rubbish at following people.

Why not pull out the questionnaires
the dead girls filled in?

Because I don't want anyone getting
wind that we're close to this man.


If you weren't at the scene of Sam's
disappearance...I wasn't, Ma'am. ..who took this?

Don't know who took it, Ma'am.
It wasn't me. Probably Ray.

Ma'am? This is Colin Danson. His wife,
Sandie, has been missing for three days.

Estranged wife. She pissed off a
month ago and left me with the kids.

You can help him fill in the
paperwork, can't you, Viv?

Mr Danson got a phone call from his wife's
bank this morning, he's her next of kin.

They hadn't been able to contact her
about a recent series of odd payments.

Well, what was odd about the payments?They
were mostly for alcohol and betting shops.

She don't drink, she don't gamble. Mr Danson got
an invoice in the post, addressed to his wife.

I've been to her flat. She wasn't
there, hasn't been for days.

My kids are worried sick. Who was the
invoice from? Crescent Moon Dating Agency.

Oh, I loved that bit when Susan Sarandon
was slurping on Catherine thingy's titty.

Ray.What?Please, shut up.

I spoke to the woman
who runs the off-licence.

Every day at the same time, a man goes
in to buy the shopping for his sick mum,

uses a chequebook signed "Mrs Danson".

What, you really think he's our man?

I'm sure of t. She said if he comes in
today, she's going to draw the blind.

I've been looking forward
to this moment for years.

He's dangerous. He wants us to catch him, but
not before he's played out his sick little game.

He's going to fight like a cornered
wildcat. Good. I like a bit of sport.

Guv, there's the blind,
that's the signal!Let's go!

Who the hell are you?

Don't shoot me! Please!

I don't know anything!

Shut it. Are you a killer,
Harris? No, Mr Hunt!

Are you a dishonest little scrotum who has been
buying shit lager with someone else's chequebook?

Yes, Mr Hunt.

Where did you get the chequebook?

I can't remember, it all looks the same.


Is this strictly necessary?No, but it's
bloody good fun, though. Over there!

Don't move.

Here's a fire.There are always
fires in shitholes like this.

Guv? Oh, my...

What else did you find?
Just the purse. Honest!

Oh, my God!

I'm sick of this! I'm sick of this...

Sandie Danson's driving licence.

Right, that's the last play
of his game, Bolly. I want him.

Well, it's obviously going to take too long
to check through all these replies in turn.

How many replies did you get, Guv? That
is not germane to this investigation.

It's true that we're a little
bit short on female replies,

so I'd like all of you to round up any female
friends you may have. I could give the twins a call.

Why women who are nothing
to do with the investigation?

I am about to invent speed-dating.

What?It's very simple. The
agency tells its clients

they are about to hold a
divorcee evening, a social event.

Grab-A-Granny?We need a bunch of single
women as well, so they don't get suspicious.

Everybody has five minutes with each other,
then move on. And they said romance was dead.

That's how to trap the killer? With
this speed-dating thing?Exactly.

We're looking for a man who preys on newly-divorced
women, who travels up and down the country for work.

And if he's there, I'll spot
him. I think it sounds stupid.

I don't recall asking
for your opinion, Shaz.

This is an absolute outrage!

When my clients sign up, I promise
them absolute confidentiality.

I'm not going to have them
duped and deceived in this way.


What are you doing here?

I work here. Not that I know who you
are. But you said you were a soldier.

Right, moving on...

One of your clients is a murderer,
the rest are losers and tossers.

Your point is? My point is, I forbid it.

If you carry on with this farce, I will
personally ring up every single one of my gentlemen

and warn them off. All they're
guilty of is looking for love.

Love? This isn't about love.

No, no, there are no pink fluffy cushions, there
are no chubby little angels firing bows and arrows.

This is murder. Well,
I don't believe it.

My gentlemen are honest, they
would not do a thing like...

Here's what one of your
lovely gentlemen did.

Lust and filth. That's
what you're selling.

For historical reasons, British trains
have a much smaller loading gauge

than European or American
trains. I never knew that.

Funnily enough, I was on a train
the other day, Ronnie, to Norwich.

Have you ever been to Norwich?Once.

My second husband was called Terry. Sweet
enough bloke, but thick as a fence post.

Why did you marry him, then? He was hung like
something off the beach at Weston Super Mare.

There must be one little area of your bodies
that's not quite the same?Wouldn't you like to know?

Yes, I would.

I really would.

Do you like football?No.

Is DCI Hunt married?

There was a Mrs Hunt once, I believe.

Poor, poor woman!

Now he's only married to his job.

HE RINGS BELL All change!

You're working late.They're all
down at Luigi's at this dating thing.

I didn't feel well enough to go.

Sorry to hear that.

Why did you join the
police force, Sharon?

To make a difference.
Sounds stupid, doesn't it?

Not to me.I had big dreams. I knew it
wouldn't be easy, being a woman and everything,

but I thought if I put my head
down and worked really hard...

Well, the police force is changing,
women will increasingly hold sway.

I mean, look at Alex Drake.I do. She's
the most amazing woman I've ever met.

She's also the one that's got me
thinking, maybe this job ain't for me.

Because you can't compete with her?

Not with any of them. I just don't think I'm
cut out to do this for the rest of my life.

I'm not strong enough. What
would DCI Hunt say to that?

He wouldn't understand.

He's as brave as a lion and he
don't have time for anyone who ain't.

Do you know what I think, Sharon?

I think it takes enormous courage to
realise you might have taken a wrong turn.

That maybe this job isn't for you.

Do you think I should
leave the force, Sir?

I think you know exactly
what you should do.

Come on,

I'll buy you a drink.

My fourth husband is a lovely
man. Dotes on me. Worships me.

So why are you here?He's dead.

But he's still here with me in
spirit, wants me to be happy.

Weren't we meant to swop?

Nobody sat in your chair,
darlin', did they? Only me.

I'm sat in your chair, babes.

I'm sure this is not what
you're meant to do, but...

They're lovely.

I suppose that's the one saving grace about my
divorce, that there weren't any children involved.

Actually, I'm not divorced.

Their mum died.Oh, I'm so sorry.

Ray's a top bloke. He's my
best mate, brilliant copper.

If you don't want to
talk to me, just say.

What's the most unusual place
a bloke's ever made love to you?

Probably my bottom.

It's unconventional, I'll say that.

She's quite a woman, your Alex Drake.

Why don't you go and talk to
her, Sir? I'll be fine here.

Don't be silly.

She doesn't bite. All
change again, please!


My name's Jim and I've been looking
for love in all the wrong places.

My knickers are in my handbag.
What do you say to that?

Herb Alpert and His Tijuana Brass.

When this is over, why don't we nip
upstairs and have a game of cards?

Upstairs?A mate of ours has
a flat above the restaurant.

Do you think he'd mind? It's a she.

Looks like she's a little busy
at the minute. So how's about it?

I think I'm going to go home,
Luigi. No, stay, lovely Shaz.

On the house.

I just don't feel a part of it any more.

Music, I like Elvis Costello,

Philip Glass, Mahler.

I love Mahler.The Adagiato from
his Fifth Symphony.I love it.

Luigi! If you don't ring that
bloody bell I will ring it for you!

All change again, please.

So, tell me again...
is it Aces high or low?


Well, that went well. I've just spent a precious
evening with a bunch of sluts and losers.

He wasn't here. No,
but he might have been.

No, he wasn't. No pattern,
no response to my questions.

I'm going home now.Goodnight. Nothing
jumped out to you, did it, Elaine?

No. Look, I can't tell you how sorry I am that my
agency has been involved in these terrible crimes.

I hope you find the person that
killed these women.Oh, I will.

the only dates he'll be going on are with a very
large man called Bubba and a tub of prison margarine.

Has it poisoned you, all this, Mr Hunt?

Oh, go back to fluffyville,
lady. There is love in this world.

People find it every day.

I'm a police officer!
You're all under arrest!

Put down your weapons!

What you gonna do, babe?I'll say
it again, I'm a police officer!

Put down your weapons!
Cut her! Stick the bitch!

Make the pig squeal!

Run, little piggy girl,
run before I cut you!

'Murder, murder!'

What we have to ask
ourselves is why now?

Some of the murder victims go back a couple of
years or more, but we received no severed limbs.

So why now?You should have stuck
around last night. Twintastic!

Last time we tried this, I ended up
dating the world's biggest trollop.

I'm running out of patience, Bolly. Andour
alternative is what? I think DI Drake is right.

Find your own case, Keats. Why now?

Maybe he wants fame?Ted Bundy.

Jeffrey Dahmer.

Carry on.If he wants fame, why
can't he top himself on a Wogan show?

Because he's enjoying
making a fool of you.

Still doesn't explain why now? He
left giveaway marks on the bodies.

Which were missed.Are we keeping you
from your fetid office, DCI Keats?

Maybe he's using the hand as
a bigger clue?It's possible.

Maybe he's using the hand to accelerate
the game. But why?Maybe he's sick?

Get away.Physically sick?

Maybe he's dying.He can't wait for us to put
the clues together so he had to help.Exactly.

He'll kill again.Is this a
private game or can we all join in?

- He wants an easy life in prison?
- He wants glory.

Get me the medical records of all Crescent
Moon's clients.Every city? We get to their GPs,

find out if anything has changed
recently in their medical situation.

Will somebody please
sort that noise out!

I'm only going to say this once, and
I'd like you all to respect my decision

and not to try to talk to me about
it or try and talk me out of it.

- Shaz?
- Especially you, Chris.

I've thought long and hard about this,
I've spoken to senior officers, and...

I'm resigning from the
Metropolitan Police.

No questions, no arguments, I've made my
decision. Obviously, I'll work out my notice.

For you, Ma'am. You
ordered it from Manchester.

Thanks, Viv.

Hang on a second, here's something. What is it?This
bloke was told he had terminal cancer two months ago.

Let me see.

That's McLean. I met him speed-dating.
He was a widower, two kids. Can't be.

Oldest trick in the book. "The wife's just
died, I'm bringing up two kids on my own."

Then your ankles are behind your ears.

Looks like you've been stitched
up like a kipper, Bolly.

Little shit. Let's get him!

I know your professional
pride is... Piqued?

Trampled on like a dead rat. But one gloomy
prognosis by a doctor doesn't make a case.

We need evidence. See
if he's got a record.

I could go in as bait again.
No, he's already seen you.

He liked them young. I
am young, you rude git!

Young, divorced and dark-haired.

I'm not going to try and
talk you out of leaving, Shaz.

I don't know why you want to leave,
it makes no sense to me, but...

you're my colleague. You said ask no
questions, so no questions will be asked.

Thank you, Sir. All I do ask of you
is that you go out in a blaze of glory.

Make me proud of you.

I know what you want me to do.
Believe me, if I thought I was

capable of doing it,
I wouldn't be leaving.

Shaz, all over this country, there
are women lying in unmarked graves.

It's our job and responsibility to
stop this bastard from killing again.

Please don't ask me.

I wouldn't ask you if I
didn't think you could do it.


And then no more?

Then no more.

I give you my word.

So how does it work?

I sent out your details to McLean, as
I normally would send out a new client.

I said that there was a lot of interest, so
if he hadn't phoned back by three, then...

You know those twins? Almost
identical. But not quite.

He'll phone back and then I'll tell
him I'll forward his details on to you.

It'll be your choice when
and where you meet him.

You didn't go anywhere near
those twins, did you, Ray?

Yeah, I did!No, you didn't.

You stroke that tache when you're lying.

No, I don't.Yes, you do.

You don't have to do this,
not if you don't want to.

It'll be the last thing
I do. Don't say that.


Crescent Moon Dating Agency,
Elaine speaking, How can I help you?

Mr McLean, how nice to hear from you.

Yes, yes, I think I can remember the
young lady, she's new on our books.

Sharon. Delightful young lady.

Yes, I'll be only too happy
to pass your enquiry on to her.

I hope she responds.
You're very welcome.

This is wrong. She's clearly
not in the right frame of mind.

Say something to the Guv, then.
I will. I bloody will.Yeah, right.

Anything yet?Chris wants
to say something.What?

Nothing. You never
stand up to authority.

You twat.You never got anywhere
near those twins. Saddo.Did.Didn't.

Shaz is on the line here.She's got some balls,
I'll give her that. One of us should be there.

Too risky.


'Oh, hello. I'm Sharon.'
'Yeah. You said.'

Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
Thank you.Me, too.

My wife died two years ago.
I'm really sorry to hear that.

You're probably not
meant to do this, but...

They're lovely.

They said they didn't want
their daddy being lonely forever.

'So here I am.'What a scumbag.

'What about you, Sharon? You're
obviously a very attractive woman.'

I'm a bit surprised you're
using a dating agency.

I've been out with guys my own age. I
found them a bit inadequate, to be honest.

'Where are my manners? Can I buy you a
drink?''Please, I'll have Bacardi and Coke.'

Thank you.

Actually, I've got a better idea...

No, forget it,

forget it, sorry, new at this,
it's against the rules.What?

Well, it's just that there is
the most lovely moon out tonight,

and, well, I know this
view of the Thames.

Don't do it, Shaz, stay in the pub.

It's just that Elaine said I should
always stay around other people.

Especially on the first
date. Quite right, too.

Bacardi and Coke.

But I do like a nice view.

Oh, Shaz!

I'm going in!Stay where you are!
Shaz is in charge.It's dangerous.

She's a police officer,
it's meant to be dangerous.

Tell me about your wife.

My wife? That's a strange question.


- 'Where are we now?'
- 'Short cut.'

- 'Are you cold?'
- 'No.'

'I'll make us a little
fire.' Careful, Shaz.

- 'What about the view?'
- 'Women feel cold more than men.'

Women need warmth.

What a nutter.

Just get him to talk. This
will end badly, I know it.

There's wasteland to the south. With the same
pattern,he'll be... Like a needle in a haystack!

There'll be a fire. Let him confess!

You asked about my wife.

Maybe we should get back.

She was a slut, Sharon.

Told me she loved me.
Told me she wanted my kids.

A slut and a liar.

She is dead, though?

Lives in Aberdeen,
amounts to the same thing.


There's a restraining order against me.

I see. Do you? Do you see?

Do you know where she
met her gingery Scotsman?

The father of her
little ginger children?

No. A dating agency.

I was working all hours and that slut
was meeting men through a dating agency.

You don't know where she is!

'What do you do for a living?'

I manage a supermarket.

You don't travel round the country? No.

I don't believe you! I think
you've been to Bristol and Norwich.

That's a lie. You said you had
a dead wife and lovely kids!

- Are you a slut, Sharon?
- No.

I think you are. What's that?

It's just the moon. Pretty, isn't it?

'Used to be on a necklace
that he gave to my wife.'

It's a romantic present, because
they met at this dating agency.

What did you do to the girls you met?

- You're a very pretty slut, Sharon.
- I told you, I'm not a slut!

Go!'Is this what you did with the
other girls before you killed them?'


Do you want to know the
irony of all this, right?!

That bitch lives in
ginger happiness and me...

I've got cancer, Sharon.
Yeah! Eating away at me.

Killing me softly.


Sluts have to be branded, Sharon.

Like cattle.

Then, like cattle, they get slaughtered.


You see, you can't touch
me, nobody can, cos you see,

I die of cancer in a prison cell,
or I die of cancer as a free man.

You can't touch me, Sharon.

Mwah! But I can certainly touch you.





Hang on! I heard something. Over there.

Get an ambulance! He needs help or he'll die
and he's got to confess! Shaz come here, baby.

Let go of me! It's over,
it's all right.Drake.



Get to the bar.

Can I just say...?
Order! Order! Come on.

Can I just say, that I might not have been the
greatest supporter of women in the police force.

It's not my fault I've got
an illness with a posh name.

What is it?Misogyny. THE MEN: Oooh!

But what Shaz did
tonight was incredible.


And I for one am very proud
to be a colleague of yours.


Now, go and make my dinner!

Whatever you do next, Shaz, I'm
sure you'll be brilliant at it.

I hope I'll always know
you. Of course you will.

Right, Shaz, let's put an
end to this leaving nonsense.

Guv! You promised you
wouldn't mention it.I lied.

It's long been an ambition of mine
to see you out of your uniform.Guv!

No, out of THE uniform.

What I'm trying to say is, if you keep up this
quality of work, you'll be in CID by Christmas.

You can't be serious?
When I'm notbeing serious,

I have lovely crinkly lines at
theside of my eyes. Crows feet, Guv.

Thank you, Christopher.
What do you say, Granger?

I say yes.



To Shaz, everybody! ALL: To Shaz.

To Shaz!

Quite the showman.

He has his moments.

You did well, Alex. Really well.

We all did.We're a team.A team.

I hear you've been in
touch with Manchester.

There were some files
I was interested in.

Sam Tyler's files?Yeah.

You think he killed him, don't
you? I think who killed him?

I don'tknow what you're talking about.

I think he did, too.


I heardwhat happened.
You did a fine thing.

As far as I'm concerned,he can
die in a nice,warm cell in prison.

MEN: Whoa!


If you ever want a date, Mr Hunt... me.

How did you do that? Well, Raymondo...

you've eithergot it, my
friend, or you haven't.

Ha-ha! To Shaz!


MUSIC: "Girls Just Want To
Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper

You know, we make a good team, Bolly.

Posh totty and a bit of rough.
Uptown girl, downtown man.

Look at Shaz
- she's blooming. One thing, though.

Team's sticktogether
through thick and thin.

I know.

They don't go behind
yourback digging up old files.

Old files that arebetter
left well alone.Guv...

You see, Keats and people like him,
they want to take us down, Alex.

So no matter what he says...

don't help him.

# Oh, daddy dear You know
you're still number one!

# But girls, they wanna have
fun Oh, girls just wanna have...

# That's all they really want!

# Some fun.... # MUSIC DIES AWAY

# Girls, they wanna...

# Wanna have fun! Girls, wanna have...

# Some boys take a beautiful girl... #

Sorry to be a party pooper,
but I'm here a wee bit longer.

I'll build up a profile of the
efficiency of this department.

Let's just call it snooping.

Manchester's been on. Do you want
anything else on the Sam Tyler case?

No, I'm fine. Thanks, Shaz.

These are cases dating back to 1980...

All your grubby little secrets and malpractices
waiting to be uncovered. I'm going to unearth you, Hunt.

Stars?Why stars?

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