Ashes to Ashes (2008–2010): Season 1, Episode 7 - Episode #1.7 - full transcript

This is like I'm dying.

When the brain dies,

it tries to make connections for
seven minutes.

My body temperature's dropping.
Technically, I could be dead already.

I think I had a dream about you.

No, that's good, it's good.

I've bloody dreamt about doing this.

I'll see you... see you later.

Well, tomorrow probably.

- Sometime. Whenever.
- See you tomorrow.

Been in the wars, have we, sir?



Oh, dear.
It certainly looks like a nasty one.

What the bloody hell?

CID were quickly on the scene,

where Gil Hollis was only
just regaining consciousness.

Looks like we won't be
watching the match today, boys.

We've got a robbery to solve.

Move over, Lewis Collins, eh?

- It doesn't look anything like me!
- You're better looking than him.

Gently, Jim. Gentle.

I don't even wear jewellery!

Of course, you will know
Gil Hollis as the man in the tub,

one of our most popular fundraisers.

Lovely. Thanks very much.

Just remind me,



whose idea was it to run
an appeal on Police 5?

In fact, he toured the whole of
Britain with his tub,

raising money
for the children of Africa.

Oh, thanks very much.
Brilliant!

He eventually
finished up with ?20, 000.

Here he is on Children In Need,
together with his own son, Adam.

Well, I'd raised all this money
for charity around the country.

And, um...

I'd collected it,
and I'd put it in me rucksack.

I was on my way to the bank with it.

There was a man and a woman
and they were wearing masks.

Get out! Get out!

And they shot me.
I was actually shot!

I was unconscious
until the police found me.

The robbery took them
just 30 seconds to commit,

and then they made their getaway,
leaving Gil Hollis for dead.

Something dreadful
IS going to happen.

I'm going to take someone.

Who?

Who is it?

Who is it? Is it one of them?!
Is it CID?! Who is it?!

Who?! Who's going to die?!

I just wish I could have remembered
more, you know, for the police.

But I do remember those tracksuits.

This was a brutal and callous attack,

and the police need your help to catch
this couple before they strike again.

Till then... keep 'em peeled.

My name is Alex Drake.

I've just been shot and that bullet
has taken me back to 1981.

I may be one second away from life,
or one second away from death.

All I know is that
I have to keep fighting.

Fight to live,
fight to see my daughter.

Fight to get home.

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME

Broad bloody daylight and
nobody sees or hears anything.

You said a telly appearance
would get results.

- Well, it works on Crimewatch.
- What watch?

Don't fret,
I got it taped on Betamax.

Run off some copies, Chris.
My mum'd love to see it.

- We're not gonna bother with that.
- That man lost everything.

We're under pressure to solve this
quick because apparently

Hollis is Britain's answer
to Mother Theresa!

Chris, give me a note.

That bloke has raised
a bomb for black kiddies.

The chief wants us
to show public compassion.

One from me.

One from you.

Well, come on! Show compassion NOW!

They'd better not do these telethons
too often or I'll be skint!

Nah, people aren't gonna do this
daft rubbish every year, are they?

Saw you on the telly
last night, Carling.

It wasn't me. I don't look like...
Did you see that bloke's gut?!

I only had half an eye on it, mate,
but I thought it was all of you.

I don't look like Eddie Yeats,
OK?

Where is this leak coming from?

Not from the bath,
it ain't plumbed in!

Anyway, I can't see no leak.

Do you like it?

Found it on the chair this morning.
You could use it as a paperweight.

Thanks, Shaz.

?20, 000 raised

in an old tin tub,
and then this happens.

- It's enough to make you weep.
- Ah, tell me about it, Terry.

So, Gil, thoughts are with you,
and on a wing and a prayer,

this one's for you.

Whatever next? Ed "Stewpot" Stewart
talking about GBH on Junior Choice?

You were right.

We have to crack this. I have to.
It's part of being in control.

They shot him, Bols.
They're ruthless.

If we don't stop 'em,
somebody's gonna wind up dead.

Yeah, they are.

But I wouldn't let that happen.

I have to prove to my
subconscious that I am its master.

And that is how I'll get home.

Home? Thinking of leaving?

Well, this was only ever temporary.

Ah, right. Had enough of us?

Well, I didn't mean that exactly.

Excuse me.

Here's a thought, and, er,
well, it is only a thought but, um...

tonight, somewhere posh.

Trout and almonds. My shout.

Just you and me. If you don't
want to, well, stuff it...

I prefer Dover sole.

You want sole? I can give you sole.

Great, OK.

Right.

Wear something slutty.

Jimmy, chase up the dabs
from forensics.

Chris, Datsuns, check for any
last-minute resprays.

Raymondo,
pull in all our regular snouts.

All over it
like red dots on a tart's mini.

Guv, I think Gil Hollis
knows more than he remembers.

The bloke's a kindly twat.

Victims are crap. They shit
themselves and forget everything.

I'll walk Gil through the crime scene.
Try and provoke an associated memory.

Psychology.

Hmm. Right, boys and girls,
you know what you're doing?

I'm going to do a bit of
mind-reading with Uri Geller here!

Keep 'em peeled.

Who's it gonna be?

Ding dong! Avon calling.

You were miles away.

Keep 'em peeled.

Who is it going to be?

Oh, Hunt. Saw your chaps on P5.

It wasn't actually us, sir.

It certainly wasn't my idea.

Pity, because it's
a splendid notion.

Police and public sharing
collective responsibility.

Very modern...

Awful business.

Amazing man.

Separated from his wife
and child all those months.

Can you imagine sitting out
in a bath tub in Carlisle?

He shames us all, sir.

The TV personalities
are showing their support.

I think that sort of thing is more
inclined to hinder rather than help.

Yes, well, I've been asked
to pass on a rather large donation

from a golfing partner of mine.

It's Sid Little.

He's a close friend.

Ah, our very own Juliet Bravo.

Or is it Jill Gascoine?

The Gentle Touch.

Trying, sir.

DCI Hunt and I are just off to practise
a little psychology on Gil Hollis.

Ah, I'm glad to see you're
dragging this lummox into the 1980s.

I shall look forward
to giving Sid some good news.

That's Sid Little.
He's a close friend.

D'you know, I wish
you were Jill Gascoine.

And I wish you were Sid Little.

OK, breathe in...

and out.

Just take your time.

It's all just a blur.

It's just a blur, really.

It was over in a flash.
It all happened so quick...

Let's not worry about specifics.
Let the images wash over you.

All I remember is they had
balaclavas with hoods.

So these hoodies, what...

Hoodies?! They're blaggers,
not characters from Watch With Mother!

So, you got out of the car.
What did they say?

Er... er, they were
shouting stuff. I don't know.

They just shot me and I blacked out.

OK. Well, the mind's
an amazing organ.

I've got an amazing organ.

It's capable of more
than you'd imagine.

- Right again.
- So, the car?

Yeah, a Datsun.
Yellow... yellowish. Brown.

I think the bullet... I remember the
bullet passing through me,

and then I was falling...

OK, so you were shot
and then you were falling?

Yeah, and then it all went dark.

Is your sling uncomfortable, Gil?

It's... No. It's got to be straight.
It's got to line up with my badges.

Whilst we are tripping the light
fantastic of your mind,

can you recaII anything else like
the registration of the Datsun?

- Or Allegro. Maybe an Allegro.
- What?! You are joking!

- I have got coppers looking...
- I'm trying to be useful!

What about the tracksuits?

Blue. Yeah, blue... or black.

- Er, bla... They were a dark colour.
- Oh, give me strength!

You're confusing him.
You'll cloud the memories.

Look... Iook, I so much
want you to catch them.

Everyone's given so much cash for
Botswana and they entrusted it to me.

Gil, this is what we're going to do.

We are going to retrace
your steps, OK?

See if we can dislodge
some hidden memories.

And after that we're gonna make
a study of some sheep entrails,

see what we can learn from them!

Keep your breathing circular.
In through your nose...

and out through your mouth.
Nice and controlled.

Sun's out. Um... it's a bit...

it's bit overcast. Um, I'm happy.

Er, car's handling badly cos I've got
the bath strapped to the roof rack.

OK, just relax.

Stop! Stop the car! Stop the car!
I want to get out!

Stop the car! Let me get out,
let me get out!

- Let me get out!
- OK, what is it?

- What's wrong, Gil?
- Sorry, sorry, it's...

He's turning into Al Jolson now.

Sorry. Hang on, hang on...
Sorry, I've just got to...

Drake, what the bloody hell?

Just give him a minute.
He's clearly OCD.

Hey, man!

Where's your rub-a-dub?

Eh? Where's your shampoo?

Where's your bubble bath? Freak!

Oi, you lot! Turn that racket down,
otherwise I'm gonna pull you in

and force you to listen to
Val Doonican till you top yourselves!

Go screw your police dog... pig!

Is the billboard one of your
regular touchstones, Gil?

- Why won't it line up?
- This is turning into a circus, Drake.

- Let's get out of here.
- He's spiralling.

- We need get him focused.
- I can do that... Oi!

Those guys.

Always going on about me.
"Have you had a wash?"

"Where's your bubble bath?"

Stuff them. What's it like being
stuck in a bath for eight months?

It's lonely, it's very lonely.

I bet you were the cleanest
bloke in the country, though.

Well, that was blunt
but surprisingly effective.

That's me all over.

Gil collects his charity funds,

he drives from his home
along Marple Street.

Before any of you ask, the pink wafer
represents his bathtub.

- That was a Ford estate.
- Dinky don't make them.

He drives past the billboard,
into Crate Lane,

not realising the roadworks
were blocking the road off.

The blaggers, meanwhile...

force him off the road right there.

Do they not make Allegros?

- Dinky don't make Datsuns either.
- Do they not?

Would you shut up!

Blag occurs.
"Gimme your money!" Boom!

The scumbag shits
jump back in the getaway car

and race along Crate Lane,
screaming into Marple Street here.

And this is where the trail goes
as cold as a polar bear's knackers.

That's an unusual MO,
a male and a female.

Yeah, a bird doing blags.
That's very disturbing.

Do you think she wears heels
or comfortable shoes?

I propose, given your reaction
to the gender balance,

that this is their first job.

New kids on the block?

Now, that is a good name
for a boy band.

Chris, take that.
List of dodgy car dealers, East 17.

- Right, backstreet boys.
- Let's get 'em busted.

Oh, God, I'm going to scream. Um...

No, I'm not because I'm in control.
I think this pair are still in the area.

They'll be giddy on adrenaline.
Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.

What, syndromes are named
after films?

They might start making mistakes

because they think
they can run rings around us.

- Road Runner syndrome.
- Meep-meep!

OK, OK. Good. In control.

Now, none of you...

will die...

unless I choose to kill you.

It's creepy in here.

You should try being
in here with DCI Hunt!

Now, I know...

that you know more than
you think you do, Gil.

OK.

So I'd like you
to close your eyes...

... and breathe.

I can't see anything.

That's perceptive.

No, I mean
I can't recall nothing new.

I want you to picture an orchard

brimming with apples.

Sweet smell.

The end of summer.

There. Now, what can you see?

I'm picking windfalls...
with my son, little Adam.

That's great. That's great.

I want you to make it crystal clear
in your mind's eye.

Adam's laughing.

I'd forgotten how much he laughs.

I've been away too long.

Drop your head...

... and open your eyes.

We've just given your memory a bath.

I've had it with baths.

Her eyes...

- Whose eyes? The woman who robbed you?
- She was looking at me.

Sort of holding me attention.

And then he pulled the trigger.

Then I was falling...

into darkness,
and it was cold.

It was cold... so cold.

And you feel it,
and it feels like this.

It's like there's worms inside you.

She was looking at me, the woman.

It was her eyes,
I remember that now.

It was dark eyes under her hood,

looking into me.

Adam! Hello, mate!

How are you? Nice to see you.

I've checked, ma'am. All the old
crime reports are down here now.

I'm just trying to
cross-reference a few IDs.

Dark eyes?

Yeah, that's right.
The eyes have it.

"Diligence is the mother of
good fortune." Don Quixote.

It was an answer
on University Challenge.

It's funny what you remember, innit?

Do you read, Shaz?

Not really.
You can get everything off the telly.

My dad used to read to us
when we were little.

Yeah, so did mine.

The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
every night for a week.

It was fantastic.

Did he put on
all the voices an' that?

And every night he'd finish on
a cliffhanger and then he'd say...

He'd say, "Until tomorrow."

He sounds lovely.

You need to get on. You don't need some
glorified typist disturbing you, eh?

You are conscientious and
you've got a great outlook on life.

Listen to me, talking to you
like you're actually...

Actually what?

You know, women like you
are so important in the force.

You're the future.

Fab.

Keep 'em peeled.

Gil Hollis is our only witness

and, quite frankly, I've had custard
with more consistency.

Plus the fact he can't
drive past a billboard

without stopping to do
a hot shoe shuffle!

Gil has a condition - OCD.

- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark?
- Obsessive compulsive disorder.

I am done with psychiatry.

Look at me... OK, all right.
Happy Alex. I'm in-control Alex.

Now, we have to reach
into the neighbourhood,

into the community, and I am
loathe to suggest it, but...

what about a personal
television appeal?

The goggle box is no place
to police crime.

If we showed the public and the Chief
that we're progressive...

Not happening, Bolly. End of.

Hey, look.

You're joking! Roger DeCourcey!
You don't think he's here now, do you?

Go easy, love.

I'm investigating a robbery,
not auditioning for Hello Dolly.

OK, I've made notes.

- You need priming.
- I know what I want to say.

You're not dressing down a few
beer-breaths in the coppers' canteen.

You're facing three million people.

Three million?

What are you doing to my hair,
you TV Mary?! Get off!

- It wasn't, was it?
- It was.

Because of the charity connection,
you could appeal

to members of
the criminal community.

Members of the criminal community?

We're talking about villains,
Drake, not the bloody Waltons!

Guv, you can move directly
into the consciences of people.

That is what television can do.

No, that's what Songs Of Praise can do.
Me, I'm here to catch crooks.

Hey, guv, break your neck.

"Break a leg," Chris.

So, stay calm...

Roger DeCourcey.

And Nookie the Bear.

Coming to air,
and good luck, everyone.

Five, four, three, two, one,

cue Shaw.

You all know Gil Hollis as one
of our most popular fundraisers.

His mission ended
in violence and robbery.

This was a brutal and callous
attack and the police need your help

to catch this couple
before they strike again.

Did you happen to see a couple
in Fenchurch that afternoon?

A man and a woman.

Things that might
have caught your eye -

they were wearing tracksuits
with the hoods up.

Now, who would wear
a tracksuit with the hood up?

That could have been odd.

Think about that.

Well, with me is the man in charge,
Detective Chief Inspector Gene Hunt.

No luck so far?

Er, we're still in the process of
conducting an exhausting invest...

Oh, hang on. Er, exhaustive
investigation.

And... we're certain we're gonna
have a breakthrough soon.

Is he all right? He looks like
he's been on cut-price vindaloo.

... may still be at large
in the area because of, um...

Well, it's Bonnie and Clyde
syndrome.

We urge anyone with...

You can't just leave that hanging!
You have to elucidate!

So if you're protecting
a member of your family, then, er...

then you can phone us.

Um, Fenchurch East Police Station.

That's where we are. And, um...

above all, don't have nightmares.
No, DO have nightmares!

These are scum, they're still at large
and we need to nail these bastards!

A heartfelt plea there from the
man in charge of the investigation.

That's it for today.
Until we meet again...

- Keep 'em peeled.
- Sorry about saying "bastards".

Bollocks.

Thank you, studio.

Is that what you wanted? I could
do with a bloody drink.

Yes...

It's for you.

Hello.

You saw it, sir...

No, hang about. I mean...
If I could j...

I didn't mean for it
to sound ineffectual.

As you know, that's not me.

No. Progressive, I think you'll find.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Goodbye.

"Pathetic".

Super's words.

This was your idea.
I did this for you.

Happy now?

Gene.

You know what, love?

In the old days,
no-one would clean my office.

Not for weeks.

Oh, yeah, love?

Yeah, the very walls would be running
with scotch and fag smoke.

I was left to it. It was paradise.

I bet it was.

Will somebody turn that
bloody ska music down?

Hang on, hang on, hang on,
hang on, hang on...

The blaggers
had to come back this way...

... past the ska boys.

- Evening all.
- Hey, Mr Hunt.

"Keep 'em peeled!"

You know what? I did.

And it suddenly dawned on me

that when the getaway car
had to double back,

you dickheads were loitering here.

Which means...
you're all eyewitnesses.

We saw nothing, man. Yeah?

Nick 'em.

Which ones? All of them.

Music to my ears.

Only the guilty need fear me, son.

Scum! Screw you, pig!

What the hell's going on?

What should have gone on
in the first place. They're witnesses.

You like this hat, do you?

You'd better talk,
otherwise I'll nail it to your skull!

- He's in custody!
- Blimey, guv. Easy, eh?

- The South made you go all soft?
- Stop it, guv!

Where do you think you are?
Bolivia?

You were on that street.
What did you see? Talk!

I understand your frustration,
but you are losing control.

I feel like I'm gaining it.
Come on!

We was just messing with him.
He pulled up right by us.

He took this bag
and he ran behind the billboard.

- What, the blaggers?
- That bath guy, Hollis!

Before he was robbed? So he took
the cash behind the billboard?

- What was he doing?
- Dunno.

He was behind there
for about five minutes.

Right, Ray.

Take a formal statement
from laughing boy here.

You have to let the rest of them go.

Fine.

We're recalling Gil Hollis
for questioning.

There's a discrepancy
in his statement.

And you saw how he
reacted at that billboard.

How many times? He's...

- OCD.
- OMD!

No, no, he's OCD! Yes!

He's been lying to us
and playing me for the fool.

Don't tell me what to do!

Look, I know I said
I'd come in and help today,

but you had a message to your front desk
that my son's had an asthma attack,

so I've got to go.

And his mother's worried.

We didn't realise.
We can do this another day.

Why did you go behind that billboard?

What, on the way to the bank?
To have a Jimmy Riddle.

I'm sorry,
can we do this another day?

Because Adam really is not well.

How come a load of ska boys
on that road

all saw you going for a dangle

but never clock the getaway car
ten minutes Iater?

What are you looking at me
like that for?

So you parked up

- and took the money with you?
- Yeah!

I'm not going to leave 20 grand
in my car, am I?

Look, those boys are thugs.

I saw one of them climb up
and get in my bath. That's not on.

They were trying to get in the car, and
they were looking for me bubble bath.

What more can you tell us
about this getaway car?

You know, the Datsun,
or was it maybe an Allegro?

- You know, the yellow one... or brown?
- He was shot.

I was literally shot!

So what? I've been shot. Loads of
folk get shot. He wasn't that shot.

He passed out. How could he
possibly remember anything?

- It was over in seconds.
- Why...

when we walked you
on your journey,

did you fail to mention that you stopped
right in front of the billboard?

Why was that spot so bothering you?

Look, if you must know...

it's about my peeing habits.

I have to do it a certain way.

And I have to count, and I've got
a system. And that's just the way it is.

I had to stop
in front of the billboard

cos I remembered that I hadn't
touched it after I'd... been.

I'm sure Mr Hollis didn't think that
his renal habits would benefit the case.

Look, I really want to help you
with every fibre of my body.

For those kids,
those dying kids in Africa.

What, you caught a glimpse of
this woman's face under her hood?

Not her hair or anything.
Just her eyes, cos of the balaclava.

Her eyes, those eyes. DI Drake
helped me remember those eyes.

Right, Bolly, let's round up those
dodgy birds on your list.

We looked behind the billboard.
The ground hasn't been disturbed.

Just take your time.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, positive, 100%.

That's her. That's the one.

Where are you taking me?
I've got to go home. Adam needs me.

Yeah, I bet he does.

Well, well, well...

- What are you doing?
- You're making this up, Gil.

Nothing you have told us adds up
and I'm beginning to lose my patience!

My things!
They need to be in a certain order!

I wanna go home!

- You can't treat him like this!
- You can't!

- What the hell are you doing?!
- You've been lying to us.

No-one saw the getaway car.
They only saw you!

I stopped the car.

The robbers, they shouted
something, then I opened the door.

And then the gun went off.
And then that was it.

I'm not a brave man, Mr Hunt.
I'm not a hard man either.

I'm sorry if I'm not
good enough for you.

He was shot! Where's the gun?
Where's the evidence?

Evidence can always be found
to back up my instinct.

We're not going down this path!

Right, take him down the cells. He
can decide what he wants to say next.

You can't let him do this, DI Drake!

What are you doing?
Get off me!

DI Drake, I want to go home! I want
to see me family! I'm dying here!

You're going to ruin this for me,
you stupid, pig-headed bastard!

I've been poncing about
on the telly for you,

saying things that
I didn't even understand.

You believe that I am going to sell my
professional gut instinct down the river

just so's that you can
feel good about yourself? Forget it!

No...

I won't let you.

CID detained
people illegally last night.

DCI Hunt used physical violence
and now

he's holding Gil Hollis
in custody without caution.

Gil has a medical condition
and I'm worried he'll hurt himself.

I'm just wondering how to regain
control of this investigation.

If I don't, then I believe
somebody's going to die.

Report Hunt to your superiors.
Have him removed.

... I don't want to wade in too hard.

I feel like such a Judas,

and besides there are still
forensic leads to follow.

If I carry on
with my own investigation...

He'll undermine it. Report Hunt.
Get your control back.

I can help you. I'm on your side.

Sir, with respect, there was...
No, sir. Thank you, sir.

Tell me I am having a bad dream.

No, that's me.

Gil Hollis is now under
the representation of Caroline Price.

You detained him based
upon a witness statement

which was illegally obtained
through inducement.

- Hold your bloody horses!
- I haven't finished.

Contrary to the rules,
you held him

without access to a telephone call
or a solicitor.

You also failed to caution him.

I'm sorry... you can't quite do that.

- You're making a big mist...
- One last thing.

You implied that you were prepared
to manufacture evidence

to secure a conviction, and I quote,

"Evidence can always be
found to back up my instincts."

Now, that is a biggie.
This is just like the good old days.

This is none too healthy,
Chief Inspector.

The Manc Lion.

I knew one day you'd ask to
have this lion shaved, DI Drake.

You bitch!

Watch your mouth, Sergeant.
You're talking to a DI.

What are you waiting for? Christmas?
Take him to the car.

We'll meet again, Gil.
Don't know where, don't know when.

But I know we'll meet again
some sunny day.

I'll be back for me bathtub.

You see, Alex, this lion,
this lion they all fear,

why, he's nothing but a big pussycat.

You've got what you want.

Will you please just leave. Please.

DCI Hunt,
shall we step into your office?

Why sir?

So's that I can step straight back
out again? I take it I'm suspended.

Oh, no, you're on leave.
You're over-stressed.

A holiday will do you the world.

D'you know, I might visit Bognor.

There's a cats' home in Bognor.

I know you hate me,
but I have to do this, all right?

It's important.
I have to be in control.

Oh, I suppose I'm not.

There was me thinking
we were beginning to get along.

I can't tell you everything. Maybe
if you had a child, you'd understand.

How do you know
I don't have children?

- What?!
- Here! You want my job,

have my stuff!

Oh, no, no, no.

I am not going down that path!

The righteous anger.
Me feeling guilty.

You, you are a fictitious construct
bemoaning his fictitious fate.

And I am fighting for my life, Gene!

Yes, I am!

I am so tired.

D'you know what? We all are, love!

Shall we postpone dinner?

And then he goes,
"Ooh, Miss Jones, Miss Jones..."

DC Skelton,
forensic report from the car?

Yeah, it's in. No dabs.

Firearms residue
on the driver's side.

The man was shot.
Anything else?

The blood in the car was A pos.

- Hollis is A positive.
- Well done, Quincy.

Quincy is a pathologist.

Well, so are you.

No, Ray, she's a psychiatrist.

Psychologist.

Yeah, just like Quincy.

Additional statements,
ma'am, like you asked for.

Thanks, Shaz. Would you mind...?

Are we still going out tonight?

- Yeah. Pictures.
- I want something romantic.

Friday The 13th, Part 2.

Is it romantic?

- Well, it's set by a lake.
- Fab.

DCI Hunt may be on leave,

but I would like you all to keep him
in the loop, please.

Just to let you know, ma'am,
if you were a bloke,

I'd be knocking ten bells out of you.

Bells?

Bells.

Oh, Rigsby!

Ooh, Miss Jones, Miss Jones...

- God, you're so '80s.
- What?!

The touch of your hand
and this music.

I think I might be losing my mind.

Which is ironic, really,
as I'm in my own mind.

Have we met before, Alex?

I mean...

don't you think it
feels like we have?

We have. We have met before.

In another life.

A past life?

Woo, it's not what I was thinking,
but it's an interesting idea.

- Just forget it.
- Who were we?

Well...

I was in distress
and you rode to my rescue.

Ah, the damsel and the shining knight,
of course. But then again,

I'm no Lancelot,

and you're no damsel in distress.

I was scared.

And I was so alone and...

... you took my hand...

and, through all the
pain and the fear...

I felt that my world wasn't over.

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

But the crazy thing is,
I believe you, Alex.

Why? Why are you in my head?

I don't know.

No, not you. Gene Hunt... actually.

Is he?

Well, um...

... it's getting late, so...

I'm going to head off.

Ciao.

Ciao.

And you know, it was the
culmination of all the hard work...

Is that for my mum? Aw, baby.

Guv! Guv?

You sure this is a good idea?

Well, with all the excitement,
I missed something vital.

Well, I am on leave.

Right, you lot.

Let Bolly-kecks do her job.

She's a scheming cow
but we need to nail this bastard.

Here, guv, do you want one of these?
I'm running one off.

This was a brutal attack,
and the police need your help...

Hang on, hang on.
Go back a little bit.

Freeze it there.

What is it?

Look.

This looks like dried blood
under those plastic sucker things.

How did it get under this toy

afte ne was shot?

Hollis must have put it back up.
He hates mess. OCD an' that.

Yeah, but he told us he
blacked out straight away.

You see, nothing adds
up with this bastard.

Show this to DI Drake.

It's her investigation now.

As for moi,

I will be trying out a new
steak and chips pizza in Luigi's.

Not of to Bognor, then?

Oh, bugger Bognor.

Thieves of Children In Need
money are still at large.

Probably still thinking
of themselves as human beings.

Police say that there were
two of you, two low lives.

How do they sleep?

How can they look at themselves
in the mirror in the morning?

So, the Garfield fell off the window

and, having OCD,
Gil had to put it back on.

Hollis was adamant - he opened the
car door, he was shot, he blacked out.

Well, he might have had memory loss.

What's that smell?

Don't look at me.

I know that smell from somewhere.

Glastonbury, 1992.

Yes, 1992. Get over it.

Ammonia.

There were chemical toilets
at the crime scene.

- What are you on about?
- Ray, Chris, come with me.

Chris, we got a date, remember?
We're going out.

Come along with me now.
We can fight crime together.

- McMillan And Wife.
- More like BJ And The Bear.

He couldn't of got it down the
toilet bowl, surely. It's too big.

I have that problem meself sometimes.

Sergeant...

stick your hand down there, please.

DC Skelton,
stick your hand in there.

- WPC...
- On yer bike, McMillan.

Gil must have hidden the cash first.

Then he parked up in Crate Lane
near a noisy building site

where nobody could see or hear him,

shot himself in the arm and then
hid the gun down the Portaloo.

Thing is, when he'd gone
for a pee earlier,

the ska boys messed with his car
as a wind-up.

It was only after he'd shot himself
he realised the Garfield had come off.

So he put it back up.

He had to. He couldn't leave it
down, not with his OCD.

Then he made up a vague story
to keep us off the scent.

Yeah, and then, after that, he...

We've sort of come
to the end of it, haven't we?

It's... it's Gil Hollis.

What is this? Scooby Doo?

We solved this with forensics,
not violence.

May I remind you that we only pulled in
Gil Hollis because of a statement

by one of the ska boys
that I dragged in, based on a hunch.

Forensics, video,
a bit of rough and tumble,

and good old-fashioned
copper's nouse.

- Where is he?
- Done a runner.

Nobody at home at all.

Wogan will be pleased.

You pesky kids, solve-a the crime?

Yes, Luigi. Unlike your pizza,
which is inedible.

- You go now?
- I go now.

Ah, grazie.

Buona sera.

Grazie.

Grassy-arse, Luigi.
Grassy-arse.

We need to charge Hollis.

You can do that. I'm on leave.

Are you waiting for a grovelling
apology to serve your wounded male ego?

If you care to drop to your knees
in front of me, I will not object.

Cheers.

Get in! Quick!
Get back. We're under attack!

What d'you mean, "attack"?

They shoot up my place?
Bloody bastards!

It's stopped.

Chris, give us a gun.

Oh, shit, I must have
left it in the car.

Hunt!

Hunt, come out and face me!

What a surprise. It's that lovely lad
who does the charity work.

Get off me, then!

Hunt, you bastard,
come out and face me!

Come on, come and face me or
I'll come in and kill everyone.

Why didn't he take his money
and get out?

He must know uniform
will be here any minute.

Hunt, come out!
Come and face me, you bastard!

Bugger this. I'm going out there.

No! You can't go out there!

Somebody is going to die.

I am not dying in a trattoria!

Hunt! Right, ten seconds!

Ten... nine... eight...

Gil...

Gil, if you kill this DCI
in cold blood, it's life.

Yeah, well, that's
what this is about, isn't it? Life.

Raising money
for all them lives in Africa.

Eight months in a bath.

Lot of time to think.

Yeah, thinking about
a bathtub filling up with notes

when I'm struggling on
shit wages with a family.

My wife hated me being away.
She didn't see the point.

She thought I cared more about
the coloured kids than my own.

She left me. And I'm a hero, am I?

Eight months sitting in a bloody,
fibreglass bath!

What do I get? An empty house
with a note pinned to the fridge.

Why do blokes holding guns always feel
the need to tell us their life stories?

Your missus cleared off

because you spent more time
in the bath than you did in her.

Boo-hoo!

What about all them
people you ripped off?

Thought you'd console yourself
with a luxury cruise, did you?

Did you think you
could buy them back... Gil?

Is that why you did it?

Why is it, the more we try
to take control of our lives,

the more it goes wrong?

Your son, Adam.

You miss him?

I know how that feels.

If you pull that trigger, Gil,

your son is lost to you.

He's lost.

Put the gun down.

Not because you're weak or...

or because he's won,
but because you love your child.

Come on.

Come on, gently does it.

Hey, Chris! Get after him!

- Shaz!
- I'm on it, guv!

Ray! Chris!

No use now, is it? No use now.

Take it.
I've lost 'em, I've lost 'em.

All of you, yeah. Who cares?

Take it. You can take it.

Choke on it! All of you!

It's no good now, is it?

Who cares? Who cares? I've lost it.

Take it all! I don't want it.

I don't need it.

I've lost me family. Take it!
Take it all!

Police! Stop there!

That's why he panicked here.

He knew the cash was hidden behind
the billboard and it triggered the OCD.

I'm hurt. It's not bad...

Shaz?

I think I've been a bit stabbed.

- Shaz, don't talk, Shaz.
- I got him, didn't I, ma'am?

I'm not just a typist.

No, no, no, no, no.

You! Call for an ambulance! Now!

You OK, Shaz?
She's gonna be OK?

Come on. Don't try and move.

It's just a flesh wound.

Yeah, yeah, I'm here.

I'm here.

Shaz, you're going to feel tired.

You'll want to shut your eyes
and go to sleep. But don't!

Do not go to sleep, OK?

I want my mum.

- Tell it to go away!
- Who?

- There's no-one there.
- I don't like clowns!

Shaz! You have to fight him, OK?

No matter how much it hurts,
you have to fight him! Fight him!

Come on, Shaz!

Come on, fight him!

Shaz, no!

Come on.

Eight, nine, ten...
Fight him.

One, two, three, four, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten.

Come on, Shaz!

I thought we were going out tonight.

Come on. Come on, Shazzer.

You're my girl.
You've always been my girl.

Even before we spoke,
I just knew it.

Don't leave me.

Come on, son.

No, she can't! She can't!

Come on. Come on, it's over.

Come on, Chris. Come on.

He killed her, guv. He killed her.

Guv!

Get him on his knees.
Guv, he's cuffed.

- He's in custody.
- Not your problem, Viv. Over there.

- Guv, he's cuffed!
- She ran into me.

You're going to be sorry that
you ran into us. Cop killer!

He's just a stupid clown.

Don't be afraid.

Just take a breath.

Guv, leave it!
The man's in custody!

Viv, enough!

You can't leave the people who love you,
Shaz. Not for one stupid breath.

Come on!

Five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten...

Fight! Fight, Shaz!

Enough. Enough of this. Enough.

Fight!

Fight!

That's it! And another! Come on!

She's breathing! She's alive!
Get her into the car! Come on.

I did it!

I did it!

I did it! I'm in control!

What have you done?

I'm taking you home.

Get off me!

Gil.

That was a foolish,

stupid thing you did.

But you didn't deserve that.

My son doesn't deserve what he has.

The kids in Africa
don't deserve what they have.

It's all part of this meaningless
crap called life.

Don't you worry about me, Alex.

I am nothing.

You just worry about yourself.

Get rid of him.

Is Mummy cross with you? You
don't have to go away again, do you?

We'll be together, darling,

because what we have,

it's as special

and as magical
as anything in this book.

Nothing will rip this family apart.

Story!

"She stoops down...

"and she said in a quivering voice,

"'Now, who has won?'"

Not her. The evil witch won't win.

- Narnia will be saved.
- I think you're right.

I think that no matter
how bad things seem now,

everything will be all right
in Narnia...

for ever.

Alex, thank God you're OK.

- You weren't hurt, were you?
- No.

No, he wanted to take a life,
and I stopped him.

- I can win, Evan.
- Right.

Good... good.

You're always there for me.

Give me a hug.

No-one died,

and that means that I can save
my mum and dad from dying,

and that means that I can go home
to you and to Molly.

Alex, just stop thinking so much.

Just for one night.

Until tomorrow.

Until tomorrow.

You wanted to see me, guv?

He's, er... he's a hell of a batsman,
that Gordon Greenwich.

Good.

- You do know this is me apologising?
- I thought so.

Yeah, I should've
listened to you and, er...

I should never let Chris...

You had your reasons.

A car bomb will go
off tomorrow morning?

Has anybody asked you
about making a bomb?

Lord Scarman,
welcome to our little world.

He felt the need to wave
his penis around on the upper deck

on the upper deck of the 159, sir.

That man could close my kingdom down
with one flourish of his poncy pen.

You're investigating a murder
that hasn't happened yet?

One more word, Mrs Fruit Cake,

and I'll hang you out of the window
by your knicker elastic!

Whatever. If I can save my parents,
I can go home.

What's going on?

There's enough beaver munchers
without you two.

Sir Alan is back
and he means business.

Nervous? Good, you should be.

I rate myself as probably
the best in Europe.

Don't start telling me you're just
like me. The spoken word is my tool.

I'm sick of looking at you
at the moment!

My strategy is very aggressive -
play to win!

This was a total disaster!

We're looking like idiots!
This is outrageous! You're fired!