Ash vs Evil Dead (2015–2018): Season 3, Episode 8 - Rifting Apart - full transcript

Gary obviously
left this translation

of the lost
pages for us to find.

Though he may have
found a way to open the rift.

Rift?

We believe it's a mystic passage

between the human sphere
and the Dead lands.

Pablo

Ruby killed me with the dagger.

I'm pretty sure I'm dead.

Well, in Rome they called me

mulier daemonium de igne.



Demon Woman of fire.

Kaya.

I have a vessel.

So there's this dance
tonight at school and...

You want to go to a school dance
when evil is circling.

There's a killer in the school.

My God.

Brandy?

What is this place?

Take it out back.

Expand the search for
Ash Williams to state lines.

That son of a bitch
is gonna pay for what he did.

Poor kids.

Everything is all messed up,
because of Ruby.



Save it, Pablo.

We went mano on
Ruby and she took the belt.

I couldn't even save
my own daughter,

and now you're telling me
that the Kelly we know and love

isn't even Kelly?

Kel told me herself.

I think her spirit's stuck
in that crazy rift place.

Ruby killed her and now some
demon's taken over her body.

Man, you know it's bad
when you don't know who's alive,

who's dead,
or somewhere in between...

Save my soul!

Wait a New York minute.

Knowby!

Yeah. Ruby Knowby.

She's the demon puta that
we got to fucking shank.

No! No, no, no.

Professor Knowby.

Thirty years ago,
his spirit got stuck

in what the book said was
a rift in time and space.

Now if you've talked
to dead Kelly,

Brandy's in there too!

All we have to do
is get into that rift,

grab them, walk away Ray.

Yeah, I don't Jefe.

I want 'em back
as bad as you do,

but that sounds crazy risky.

Pablo I lost my daughter
on my watch.

I gotta do something.

So you wanna jump into the thing

that turned that Knight
into a what the.

To save those two?

I would submit
to a prostate exam.

Shit, Jefe?

You want to put Brandy's spirit
back into her body, right?

I think we've got a problem.

Coroner?

Wait a second, those
vultures put her on a slab,

she's gonna be sushi!

Pablo, I gotta get my
hands on my little girl's body

before they do.

How did I get here?

What is this place?

Dad?

Dad!

Dad!

Dad, if you're
in there, please help me!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Is anybody here?

Where am I?

Help!

Help!

Take my hand.

Help!

No!

If it finds you,
it'll take you too.

We'll have to put
her in the other way.

Great.

Yeah.

Jefe, hold up.

Brandy's body's
not the only one back there.

Well,

we'll bring it back.

Or dump it in some
well-ventilated area.

Ha ha!

Still got it.

Hey! Hey!

Shit! Step on it Ash.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Let me in!

Just like old times!

Pablo, take the wheel.

I've gotta make sure
Brandy's cinched up tight.

Next stop, my evil cellar.

You got it, Jefe!

Shit!

Okay!

I'm sorry I let you down, kiddo.

But I promise you this,

if you're still
out there somewhere,

I'll bring you home.

You're that Knight guy, right?

Kelly's friend?

Pablo said you.

Went demon?

Yeah, I did.

And then when the evil
was finished with me,

I woke up here.

What's your story?

My high school counselor
was a demon.

Ruby?

Yeah, I met her.

That one's bad news.

Tell me about it.

So is this hell?

I don't know.

I feel like maybe
Hell's the next stop.

We need to move. Come here.

All right.

Where are we going?

It's hard to explain,

but we think we found a place

that thing doesn't
come around as much.

Wait, "we"?

Look, we're gonna make
a run for the theater.

When you hit the door,

go wherever it leads
and take cover.

Okay. Ready?

Yeah.

Let's move, go go go.

That was a sweet ride, Jefe.

Nice drivin', Pablo,
but party time is over.

We gotta get Brandy inside
and cheat us some death.

Hey.

Brandy?

Don't tell me that
Ruby got you too!

Kelly?

And you don't ever disappear
like that again.

What?

You miss me?

Sssh, sssh, sssh.

Come on, come on.

How come we're in the bar?

I know. It's fucking weird?

Stuff doesn't work here like it
does in the real world.

Yeah, but none
of that matters, right?

Because you have
a plan to get us out.

I hate to say it Brandy,

but right now "duck and cover"
is the best plan we got.

Okay, so where is that Knight
chick who was kinda hot.

I thought she was
standing guard down here?

Zoe?

Yeah.

This was the last
place I saw her.

Alright, we got some
ladies to bring back to life.

So, how do we do this?

This is your plan,
I thought you knew!

Come on, man.

I don't know anything
about this rift crap!

You're the Cuervo Especial...

El Brujo Especial.

Yeah, whatever!

You shake your little rattle,
say some juju words,

I jump in the rift.

Yeah and come back demon-ized

like that Knight guy?

That didn't work with Kelly!

Yeah, but she was... What?

A girl?

No. Jefe. Hot?

Pregnant?

You dog! Did you?

No, Jefe.

I think in order to get
to this evil dead place is if...

Is to get really wasted
and do some 'shrooms?

I can do that in my sleep.

No.

I think you gotta
let the evil kill you.

Okay, stop!

It's one thing to

"read from an evil book
and bad shit plagues your life."

I never said anything

about the "D" word
in all of my plans.

Alright, well I don't
have any other ideas,

so that's all I got!

Boy.

All right.

I'll do it for Brandy and Kelly.

So let's go find some "evil"
to finish me off.

Um, okay...

The dagger.

What if you use this?

Brandy was killed by it.

What if you just stab yourself?

Really?

Could work?

Well, I guess if
it's the only way...

Okay, no. Forget it.

You... You do it. You do it.

I'm not doing it.

Okay.

Yeah, right here.

Yeah, I don't know
if I can kill you, Jefe.

I mean, what if the rift
thing doesn't work?

What!

I mean it could work.
It could not work.

I don't know, man.
I'm new to this shit.

All right, screw it.

We'll do it together.

All right?

On the count of three.

Ready?

One...

two...

two and a half... Three!

Shit!

Was that... three?

Ohhhh!

Shit!

Fuck!

Jefe!

Ohhhh!

You just gimme a sign
and I'll be standing right here,

ready to open this rift
as soon as possible!

That didn't work for shit.

Pablo, we gotta kill me again.

And this time
we gotta do it right.

That's probably good
and bad at the same time.

Maybe I am in that dead place.

Brandy?

Sperm bank?

Can't believe
you killed yourself.

Well...

sort of killed yourself.

Did you hear that?

Fuck!

Don't go anywhere.

Brandy?

Brandy?

Brandy?

Fuck.

So you're saying it's hopeless?

That everyone that lands here
gets taken by that thing?

Most of 'em don't even fight it.

But me and Dalton,
we figured, fuck it,

might as well go down swinging.

This isn't the outside
of the sperm bank.

Ash?!

What the fuck?!

Holy crap, Pablo was right!

Dad! You came back for us!

Hell yeah, I did.

I'm not gonna let evil
mess with our little family.

That includes you too, Kel-ster.

Thanks.

The jury's out on Darwin here.

All for one and one for all.

For god sake, man!
Don't-don't do that.

Wait.
You-you got your hand back!

Yeah, it's it's kind of
weird how often that happens.

You don't look thrilled, Kelly.

Ash, I'm always
happy to see that

indestructible blue shirt
come to the rescue,

but dude, if you're here,

doesn't that mean
you're dead too?

Yeah.

Kandarian dagger
right in the pump.

Ruby killed you too?

Nah. That was all me.

What?

You killed yourself to get here?

Dude, are you out
of your fucking mind?!

Yes, I would be if
I didn't have a plan.

You have a plan.

Well...

an idea of a plan.

Brandy?

Brandy?

Are you up here?

Brandy.

Fuck.

Slash prices!

Ready to die, asshole?

You're not Brandy!

Good eye.

Maybe I'll eat that first!

Okay, we just gotta get
to that cellar in one piece.

Then if Pablo has done
his Especial thing right,

we just jump through the rift,

get our bodies out of hock.

Getting past that thing
won't be easy.

You open a door here, you have no
idea where you might come out.

It's cellar or bust,
you understand?

Kelly.

Brandy. You ready?

Let's go home, Dad.

Okay, follow me.

Careful.

The floor might
be a little sticky.

Okay, last time this door
went right to the cellar,

so get ready for some
big time rift action.

Really?

Here?

Well, at least we're close.

No!

No...

those bastards
killed the classic too?

I say we rush that
soul-sucker piece of shit.

It can't take us all down.

No.

I'll create a distraction.

When it comes after me,
you three haul ass.

Dad, no!

I'll do it.

What?

Save Kelly and your daughter,
Ash Williams.

And when you send that
bitch Ruby to hell,

tell her I'll be waiting.

Hey, Dalton,
you don't have to...

Dalton?

Dalton wait!

Hey!

Over here!

Hey!

Come on you clicky
son of a bitch!

Screw you mother fucker!

Come on!

Come get some!

Alright. Alright.

What the hell are you doing?

This sweet baby has
bailed me out of more jams

than a fistful of lube
on a Saturday night.

What are you waiting for?!

I'm just gonna shove this thing

right through that
soul sucker and into the store.

Ha ha ha! What are you waiting
for mother fucker?!

Ash it's not gonna work.

Nothing works down here.

Right, 'cause we're dead.
I got it.

We're not so dead
that we can't try.

That's not good.

Come on baby, come on baby!

Shit!

Hey! Over here you psychotic
son of a bitch.

You want some of this?

Come and get it!

Dalton!

No! Dalton!

Go fuck yourself!

Dalton!

Fuck! Fuck!

You were assembled
in Livonia, Michigan.

You can do this!

Come on, baby! Come on!

Great.

I'm gonna be buried
in this boner mobile!

At least we'll die together.

Did you hear what I said?

Evil is not the boss of us!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Hang on!

Yeah!

Okay, ladies, buckle up.

Last stop. Shake a leg!

Well, your Knight buddy sure
came through when it mattered.

Yeah, I just hope
it was worth it.

Where's the rift?

Pablo, you had one job!

Looking for someone Brujo Boy?

It's Brujo Especial, bitch.

Please...

Break it... Pablo... One...

You had one job!

Pablo...

Jefe.

Come on, Pablo, do your thing!

I hope this works.

Guru...

That's my Pablo.

Fuck!

Kelly, what's the matter?

This is no time to dawdle.

Something's keeping me
from coming through!

What...

Bye Ash.

Jefe?

It didn't work.

Jefe...

Shit!

Pablo, you look like shit.

Welcome back!

You made it through!

Yeah.

Most of me, anyway.

Where's Brandy.

Yeah, about that.

You don't actually remember
checking in that bag

to see if it was her body
you brought down here, do you?

God!

I didn't think so.

Little help here.

Get me out of this thing,
please!!

We're coming, we're coming.

Dad?

My God, you did it!

I guess so kiddo.

Come on.

Okay, one problem solved,
two to go.

Kelly?

She's still down there.

Ghostbeaters never
leave a man behind.

Ruby what are you doing?

We are fucked.

When the Dark Ones arrive,

their vengeance
will be merciless.

We betrayed them Ruby.

Left them trapped all this time.

They will destroy us.

What's that?

One of the Knights.

She was watching the house.

Ash must have told her
where to find us.

Fuck you, demon!

She is a feisty one.

You are a persistent bunch.

Mulier daemonium de igne.

Florence Latin.

Kaya, I know what to do.

Kaya?!

The traitor!

How could you do this to us?

To mankind?

What did she promise...

What are you going to do to me!?

Relax.

You're gonna help us
re-write our destiny.