Ash vs Evil Dead (2015–2018): Season 1, Episode 7 - Fire in the Hole - full transcript

There's a killer on the loose,
and I'm sitting here waiting

for this decomposed hand
to lead me to him.

( Tires screech )

( roars )

Ruby!

Ash:
All roads to destroying this evil

lead right back to where
it all began, the cabin.

Then let's go back there
and end it all.

You can't go with me.

I've put your lives
in too much danger already.

- Ash?
- Lem...



I'm really getting my life together.
Even joined a militia.

- Where's your camp?
- I got him.

Don't do anything till I get there.

State police!

Aah!

- Come with us.
- Where to?

To fight.
Let's boogie.

I still don't know how I feel

about you guys
coming to the cabin.

I guess if you're dead set on it...

Pablo:
"Dead set"?

Let's say "live set."
Keep it upbeat.

Exactly.

We're not leaving a trail
of blood and guts behind us.



We're keeping Michigan moist.

We're coming
to this cabin with you.

We're basically family now.

I know.
That's the problem.

Everyone I have feelings for
dies there.

But you're adults.

We'll go see Lem,
get some big-boy toys,

- go to the cabin.
- Good.

Because anything's
better than this.

Don't worry, Annie Oakley.
You'll get your gun.

- I want a flamethrower.
- ( Pablo chuckles )

I'm serious!

I lost my parents,
got possessed--

flamethrower seems fair.

Yeah, well,
you are pretty fiery.

Okay, listen,
some friendly advice.

These militia types
are a little twitchy.

Oh, I know these kind of people.

Paranoid rednecks
who hit the woods

to play Rambo
for the weekend.

Okay, now, easy.

We don't want another
Ruby Ridge on our hands.

So just tuck that attitude
right into your cleavage,

which I definitely have not
ever noticed before.

- Wow.
- ( man rasping )

Man:
Help.

Help!

Someone...

Someone...

Someone...

Holy shit.

( Man panting )

- He's here.
- Who's here?

Him. He tore
the whole place apart.

Amanda:
Okay, you're in shock.

We need to stop
the blood flow.

- ( man grunts )
- ( gasps )

- Please, just kill me.
- Ash: Easy, pal.

We're not going to kill anybody.

- We'll get you all fixed up.
- Okay, first things first.

Man:
Get away from him!

He's one of those things, isn't he?
He's one of those things!

( Music playing )

So...

who the fuck are you guys

and why are you roaming
around my camp?

First off, apologies.

I guess we caught you guys

at something of
an inconvenient time.

We're just looking for Lem.
He said he could help us out.

- You know Lem?
- Oh, I know Lem.

Yeah, he's a good friend of mine.
I just saw him at the diner.

- He invited us here.
- I've met you before.

- Where you from?
- Me?

- Nowhere near here.
- ( scuttling )

- Fuck!
- ( roaring )

- Where is he?
- The roof!

He's back!

Uh, who's "he"?

- Lem.
- "Lem" Lem?

He got back to the camp
about an hour ago.

At first I thought
he was drinking again.

Then he started
tearing people apart.

Oh, boy.

Man: His eyes were all
white and crazy.

He looked like
a fucking monster.

- Of course he did.
- ( clatter)

Keep your weapons
trained on the roof.

( Scuttling )

We got to get
the hell out of here.

I wouldn't be roaming around
anywhere if I were you.

What the hell do you know?

Let me dumb it down for you.

What's out there
knows that you're alive,

and it wants you
to be un-alive.

( Scuttling )

I know exactly
what we're dealing with.

Big Brother put a virus
in our air supply,

turned Lem into
some sort of mummy!

- That's a new one.
- Yeah, but we were ready for it.

Were you? Okay. Wow.

You guys are survivalists.
Here's how you survive.

Give us our weapons back
and get the fuck out of our way.

Lem:
I'm going to get you.

Oh, why don't you come out,

you motherfucking
piece of shit?

Come on!
I'll kill you myself.

Probably not the best idea, Kel.

( Rasping )

Yeah.
That's what I thought.

That's how I know you.
You was at the lockup

when I was tossed in
a few years ago.

She's a cop!

So who the fuck
are you guys, really, huh?

Are you the government?

You were the last people
to see Lem.

What are you, huh?

Checking in to see
if your little experiment worked?

What did you do to him?
You tell me!

- What did you do to Lem?
- Back off.

- What did you say?
- Man: Watch your six!

I would stay away from there
if I were you.

Not looking for your input,
tough guy.

See?

- It's perf--
- ( Lem roars )

( shouting )

- ( man screaming )
- ( shouting )

We need to get
the fuck out of here.

You ain't going nowhere.

( Both grunting )

Man:
Enjoy.

Maybe your old friend Lem
will find you down there.

( Lem growls )

- Amanda: What was that?
- Ash: You know what that was.

Man:
There's two more we got to get!

Let's load up and go!

Man #2:
Let's move it up!

- Shit.
- Man: Yeah!

We got to figure out a way
to get them out of there.

- ( Radio chatter)
- ( engines revving )

- Man: Over there!
- Come on. Let's move.

- Shit.
- Let's go.

Shh, shh.

Amanda:
Whoa, watch it.

Ash: Hold on.
I'm trying something here.

Hey!

It works!

You think there's another exit door?

No, but I'll say yes
just to keep hope alive.

Let's check it out.

Amanda:
Oh.

A week ago I was having
a burger with my partner,

and now everything
is upside down.

Took me a long time
to get my head around it, too.

But you're seeing the world
as it really is,

so that's good.

Doesn't feel good.

Most people go through life
thinking they're totally safe.

People like us,
we know the truth.

Life is hard and dangerous,

and sometimes
you just got to chop off

somebody's head to survive.

I guess.
I guess that's true.

But, hey,
this ain't so bad.

We get to spend
some quality time

like you been dreaming about.

You think this is the right time
for hitting on me?

There's no bad time.
I'm old-school, baby.

Oh, you're old something.

( Clatter)

Hey, I'm sorry I misread you.

The woman I was with,
she told me

that she thought you were
the one making those--

- those things.
- Who is this woman?

Her name was Ruby.

She was a lot like you, actually.

She spent her whole life
fighting those freaks.

It finally caught up to her.

Just a normal person

who got tangled up into something
that was so much bigger.

Something beyond her control.

I will always be thankful
she was honest with me.

She taught me
there is more out there

than any of us realize.

( Lem roars )

What was that?

- ( thud )
- ( gasps )

( panting, growls )

( men shouting )

( men shouting )

- Kelly: Fuck.
- We'll be okay.

Man:
Go, go!

Hello, Ash.

Good to see you again.

Wish I could say
the same, Lem.

You never wanted
to drink with me, Ash.

You said I was a bad drunk.

That I liked the firewater.

That was before I knew
it was racist.

That was a long time ago.

Well, maybe
you'll drink with me now.

What the hell was that?
No big deal.

Just a little kerosene.

- Lem, don't--
- Cheers.

Don't-- Jesus!

( Lem growls )

I'm going to get you!

( Growls )

Where did you go?

Why'd you pick
flamethrower so easily?

What?

Earlier you said
you wanted a flamethrower,

just like that.

Man, it's like you know
exactly who you are.

Are you having a meltdown?

What? No.

I'm-- it's just...

Who am I?

Who are you?

You are a good friend.
Someone who makes cool--

What? No.

What I'm asking is,
am I, like, an axe guy

or somebody who uses
a crossbow?

Maybe I'm a Taser kind of guy.

Or, I don't know,
a rusty chain?

You know,
I used a gun at the diner.

Felt kind of small.

You know what?

I'm glad that being
trapped in the woods,

hunted by an insane militia

made you ask
the big life questions.

- Yeah, me, too.
- ( vehicle approaching )

- ( radio chatter)
- Shh, shh.

I wish I had
my rusty chain, yo.

No.
Keep trying-

- Damn.
- Lem: Ash!

( Growls )

( roars )

Ash!

Man:
Meet you by the crick.

Look, they separated.
That's good, that's good.

Hey, all we need is one gun.

( Growls )

( roars )

Ash, the more you hide,

the more I'll make you suffer!

So go on and hide!

( Gasps )

I got one!

Shit!

- Man: Come on.
- No, please.

Come on, come here.

Gotcha!

Yes!

Nice try.

Fuck.

Get in the back.

( Kelly groans )

I'm going to get you pregnant later.

Won't your sister be
jealous of us?

Uncle Sam will never outsmart

a couple of deep woods
Michigan boys.

We're not with Uncle Sam,
you fucking knob.

We're on the same side.

- Save your lies, Hillary.
- Pablo: Hey! You fucking moron.

This has nothing to do
with the government.

There is something evil out there!

Oh, I know all about
the evil out there.

It's not the government!

Lance?

It's me!

Oh, my God!

Shit.

What the fuck?

Shit.

Pablo.

Pablo, do something!

- ( Squelching )
- Pablo!

We're out of time!

Pablo, go!

- Aah!
- ( growling )

Hang on! Shit.

Fuck!

Here we go!

One...

two, three!

Hey.
Nice driving.

Thanks.

So, maybe...

I'm a pickup truck kind of guy.

Yeah, maybe.

Oh.

Hello, handsome.

Okay.

So what's the plan?

You're going to get
that guy's gas mask.

We're going to ambush
these hicks and save Ash.

- Um, that mask?
- Yeah, it's the only one around.

Uh...
do you really think I need one?

In order for this plan
to work, yeah.

Because you need
to be in disguise.

Look, I'll clean the blood off
with my shirt, okay?

Yeah, no, no. I got this.

I got this.

Hey.

He gone.

All right, just pull it off.
Come on.

Look, it's a process, okay?
I'm getting there.

Jeez. You know,
I've been through a lot.

- ( Growling )
- Oh, shit! Fuck!

Kelly! Oh, Kelly!

No! Aah!

- Aah!
- Pablo!

Duck!

Holy shit!
Don't shoot me, please!

It's not my fault!

Whose fault is it?

- It's the gun's fault.
- ( gunfire )

These things are dangerous.

( Screams )
Ha.

Shit.

Kelly:
Pablo!

You're good to grab
that mask now.

( Lem roars )

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, you see what I see?

Daylight.

- Crap.
- Shit.

Wait a minute.
Propane.

We'll just blow the asshole up.

No, we won't.

I've got an idea.

But you're going to
have to follow my lead.

I like a lady
who takes charge.

Help! Help!

- That's your idea?
- Trust me.

Lem! I can't take it!
Help me!

Help me, please!

( Growls )

Lem:
Ash!

I'm coming to get you!

( Growls )

What happened?
Where the hell is everybody?

- Right here, asshole.
- Man: What?

- Man #2: Shit.
- Man #3: Aw, no.

One false move,
and I will second amendment

your brains all over this truck.

( Growls )

Friends.

Let's party.

Lem:
My brain!

Good news, Lem.
You won't even know it's gone.

Diesel. Oh, shit.

Nah,nah,nah,nah!

Strike!

( grunting )

- Ruff!
- ( chuckles )

No!

- Shit's about to get real.
- ( growling )

Safety last.

( Chuckles )

Well, that was fun.

We should get handcuffed
together more often.

You wouldn't even know
what to do with me.

Oh, honey bunny,

I would destroy you
in the best possible way.

Mmm.

You know, I was going to
take that propane

and blow the doors off,

but I'll happily blow
your doors off first.

Really?

Pablo:
Ash! Fisher!

Kelly:
Are you alive in there?

- Rain check.
- Oh.

- ( Man grunts)
- Man: Shit.

Looks like you guys already

went shopping
for the good stuff.

Yeah, fuck a flamethrower.

This guy has got girth.

Oh, yeah.

I think I found
my own boomstick.

- Jesus, Pablo.
- Shit. My bad.

Uh, yeah.
You know what?

I think a gun might be better.

Looks good on you.

Save those cuffs, baby.
We'll use them later.

It never turns off with you,
does it?

Babycakes, I don't know
how to turn it off.

- ( Men screaming )
- Help! Help!

Jesus, fucking mother--

Help! Help us!

Help! Help!

( gunfire )

See? In this war,
everybody's on the same side.

Hey, go ahead
and cut yourself free.

I'd get as far away
from here as possible.

So, we hitting
this cabin or what?

'Cause I'm ready
to kick some ass.

Yeah, me, too.

I feel like we're ready
for anything.

Hey.

Just so you know,

each of you has a very special
place in my heart.

Good job staying alive.

Keep it up.

Amen.

Aww, someone inhaled
too much kerosene.

Now, come on!

We've got some Deadites
to mow down.

So, where's this big bad cabin
at anyway, Ash?

Ash?

Where'd he go?

Ash?

Hello!

Jefe?

( Music playing )

♪ Wind me up ♪

♪ Time has come today ♪

♪ Young hearts
can go their way ♪

♪ Can't put it off
another day ♪

♪ I don't care
what others say ♪

♪ They say
we don't listen anyway ♪

♪ Time has come today ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Now the time has come ♪

- ♪ Time ♪
- ♪ Nowhere to run ♪

- ♪ Time ♪
- ♪ I might get burned up by the sun ♪

- ♪ But I ♪
- ♪ Time ♪

♪ I will have me
some fun, fun, fun, fun ♪

♪ I've been loved
and pushed aside ♪

♪ Time ♪

♪ I've been crushed
by tumbling tide ♪

♪ Time ♪

♪ My soul has been psychedelicized ♪

♪ My time machine has come alive ♪

- ♪ Time ♪
- ♪ Now the time has come ♪

- ♪ Time ♪
- ♪ There are things to realize ♪

- ♪ Time ♪
- ♪ My time has come today ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Time ♪

♪ Time to spend the day ♪

♪ Time ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha. ♪