As If (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Kokariç - full transcript

Isn't this a taxi stand?
That's why we came here.

Yes, it's not an official stand,
people get taxi here.

Okay.

We were waiting for awhile
but couldn't get a taxi.

Are you blaming me for it?

No, you got me wrong.

I just wonder
if we wait somewhere else.

We couldn't get a taxi.

Okay, you can wait across the road.
Let's see which one comes first.

Aha, it's here.

I don't like such things at all.



-It was available, right?
-Yes. At least do something.

Say you're not available.

What the hell happened?

Look at the sign.

Use our language properly.
It's our language.

I thought it was right.
I didn't look at it for awhile.

It says, "Kokariç".

-Shall we take a photo?
-Let's do it.

Take the photo.

Take it.

-Take my photo there.
-Okay.

Show me how it is.

Brother.

-Excuse me.
-Yes?



-I've been watching you.
-Why?

Tell me what's funny,
so we laugh too.

-Something private.
-We were laughing at something.

Are you kidding me?
Are you making a fun of me?

No, brother. Why do you think so?

Who are you? What are you, huh?

I can't do my job in peace...

...due to jerks like you.

Jerks?

Did I offend you?
Aren't you a jerk?

-I am not.
-Are you a jerk or not?

-No, I'm not.
-I think you're a jerk.

-I am not.
-What happened, Ersin?

Did these men cause a problem?

Erdem...

...these monkeys are making fun of us.

How dare you to make fun of me?

Who are you?
Why would I make fun of you?

No, there is a misunderstanding.

Should I fuck you, bastards?

Do you want to get fucked
by Erdem?

I'm calm here.
Mind your tongue.

-What if we don't?
-Come here.

-What do you do?
-Brother, just a second.

-Come here.
-I keep calm here.

Brother, you got us wrong.

-One second, please.
-Shut the hell up.

I'll chop off your bald head.
You piss me off.

Why do you say bald?
You can't say bald.

You laughed at "Kokariç", right?

-No.
-We didn't laugh at "kokariç".

We were talking something
and we laughed at it.

-If we'd bothered you...
-Be a man.

You laughed at "kokariç".

-No, brother.
-It's so funny.

-There's a typo. "Kokariç".
-No, it's written correctly.

I'm 100 percent sure
you laughed at "kokariç".

No, we didn't laugh at "kokariç".

I know everything,
but you don't know shit.

I know a lot of shit.

-You were taking a picture of it.
-It is written as kokorec.

It is written as kokorec.

-Are you sure?
-Look at me.

-We can't handle it like this.
-Do you know Turkish very well?

-Are you fucking good at Turkish?
-No, we are not.

-Answer my question.
-I'm very good at Turkish.

-No, we're not good at Turkish.
-I'm good at it. It's kokorec.

-It's "kokariç.
-Yes, it's "kokariç".

What is "kokariç"?

I'm the one preparing
and selling it.

-Are you gonna teach me?
-No, brother.

You can't even read what you wrote.

-Look at the fucking dictionary.
-Look at it.

-Look at it.
-Look.

-I'm looking at it.
-Look and see what's written.

-Would you please calm down?
-Don't make such moves.

-What does it say?
-What does it say, brother?

Kokorec.

[Siren and dog sounds]

Why do you keep talking?
It's okay now.

-It's okay.
-I'm not saying anything.

Why are you laughing then?

Why are you laughing then?

Why did you take a photo?

Tell me, why did you take a photo?

We took it for something else.

What?

-We need it
-He says, "Something else."

-I need it.
-Let him talk. What?

You want to get beaten.

My hands are shaking.
I'm very nerveous.

-Then don't do it.
-He's my brother.

He's our brother too.
We apologize if we offended you.

How is he your brother?

Why shouldn't we beat you?

How so? Why should you beat us?

Pretty nice.

Erdem brother, Chef Ersin,
there is a misunderstanding.

Why did I take the photo?

We need a sign like yours.

We liked your sign very much.
We wanted to use it as a template.

We want to open our kokorec shop.

Would you be quiet for a second?
Your friend's explaining it.

-I was going to say the same.
-Okay, same explanation.

Who should explain it?

Who should do it?
I'm doing it.

We're opening such a place.

It's shaped like a car.
We'll sell kokorec and meatball.

We wanted to take your sign
as an example.

Where will you open your shop?

We haven't thought of it yet.
We're talking about it.

What is the name?

-We're still thinking.
-We're at the very beginning.

-We'll have a brainstorming.
-We are discussing about it.

So you got us wrong.

Why didn't you ask it earlier?

You're taking photos secretly.

You were working,
so we didn't want to bother you.

Okay. We will help you.

Come here.

-We don't want to bother you.
-Come here.

-Serdar, bring tea to them.
-We don't want to bother you.

-We caused you trouble.
-Not at all.

-Let's buy some tea.
-We solved it by talking.

-Come, come.
-Excuse us, Ersin.

We're children of this country.

-Sure, right.
-Such things happen.

Now, let's talk about it.
How much is your capital?

We have 100.000 TRY.

Why do you say that?

We don't have 100.000 TRY.

We have 100.000 TRY as a capital.

That's why I said.
The loan is approved.

Very good.

Great.

Let's become partners.

We have customers.
Shop is ready.

Let's grow together.
-We may consider it.

You have so much money.
Let's grow together.

-We are also corporate...
-Corporate.

We haven't talked about
what will we do, so...

...please, excuse us.

-Thank you so much, let's go.
-Who is your sign maker?

We don't have a sign maker.

No.

Call Güngör, Erdem.

Tell him to bring safety cones.

Call him.

I'll make you a great favor.

Did you get a price?

For what?

For grill, sign, vehicle.

We asked some places.

We didn't ask it.
Why do you say so?

I did.

Why didn't you inform me?

-Because I can't reach you.
-I'm your partner, right?

I'm asking you about it too.
Aren't you my partner?

Am I not your partner?

If we continue like that,
we'll have big trouble.

What kind of partnership is this?
I don't want to be partners.

Calm down.

You are just at the beginning.
Calm down, okay?

But it's not nice, okay?
I'm his partner.

I'm the one who got the loan.

I'm the one risking himself.

Also I have to handle other...

...details all by myself.

The whole burden of this company
is on my shoulders.

But you don't inform your partner.

You prefer not to.

We should work together, okay?

You don't want to work together.
You prefer not to be informed.

-Could there be such a choice?
-I am trying to work together.

-I can't reach you.
-For God's sake, it's not nice.

I also think it's not nice.

Okay, calm down.

What are the prices?

-30.000 TRY for the car.
-Too much.

-10.000 TRY for the sign.
-Too much.

-10.000 TRY for kitchen stuff.
-Too much.

These are all too much.

They deceived you.

That's why I wanted to talk.

These are can be done
for half all the amount.

What is the name?

Tasty Show House.

Taste Show House...

-Tasty Show is enough.
-Yes.

Tasty Show is great.
Thank you, Ersin Chef.

We had a very good start.
Excuse, let's get go.

Güngör will come.
Our sign maker.

How's the vehicle?

We're searching for it.

Yes, we're. We'll search.

Thank you for everything.

Ramazan's car still available,
right?

-Yes, brother.
-Call him.

-Let's call Ramadan.
-The car is magnificent.

We talked to some people.
We don't want to upset them.

No, nothing happens.

You'll see it. The car is amazing.

-Okay, if you say so.
-Do you have staff?

Yes, but we haven't talked yet.

-Do you know them?
-Not much, but...

They must be someone you know.

Erdem has a brother, Erdinc.
He's great boy.

Also we know him.
Just for your business.

I swear to you,
Erdinc is a great child.

He works with you and help you.

For real. Erdinc should come.

So let's do it like this.

Let us have a private talk.

We should have a
corporate meeting.

We're not strangers. Talk here.

Share with us whatever
you're going to talk

Let's not disturb you here.

It's corporate meeting.

We'll talk about
our medium term goals.

If you are going to have
a corporate meeting, do it outside.

We'll talk together later.

Have a good conversation, okay?

Handle the issues between you.

-Let's have a good conversation,
-But don't your heart.

-Yes, don't break your hearts.
-I'm serious.

Let's see how we will grow.

Let's talk how will
this company grow.

-We're going back.
-Okay.

-Come on.
-In a nice way.

-Don't break hearts.
-Sure.

Thank you.

What are you doing?
Why are you saying such things?

-What are you doing?
-What have I done?

They were going to
beat the hell out of us.

Should we get beaten?

I don't want to get beaten
by shop owners.

We have to open a meatball shop.

No one can forces another
to open a kokorec & meatball shop.

Let's agree anything they say.
If we can't agree...

...we say we don't want to do it.

I tried many times
saying we give over...

...but thanks to you
we can't go back.

If we want to save our lives...

...we'll open that shop
one way or another.

We have to open a meatball shop
because of you.

We have to open a shop
because of you.

-Because of me?
-Yes.

-We'll open it because of me?
-We'll open it because of you.

No, We'll open it because of you.

-What does it have to do with me?
-When Ersin Chef first came...

...we should have apologize him.
It would be okay now.

Then Erdem came.
You kept annoying them.

Why don't you stay calm?
Why are you aggressive?

We would get a few punches
then run.

Now 15 people will beat us.

How could you run from them?

Ersin is a chubby,
we could run from them...

...but what about Erdem?
He's athletic, he would catch us.

Why do I have to open a meatball shop
because Erdem is athletic.

Why do I have to?
I don't care if he's athletic.

Why would I have a shop
because of it?

Come on.

Come here.

-We talked with my partner.
-We evaluated it thoroughly.

-We did thing.
-Wow, Güngör!

-Welcome brother.
-Come, come.

-Sit in the same places.
-What's up?

-Good.
-You don't look okay.

-I'm busy these days.
-That's right. It's a busy year.

Good, very good.

-Hello guys.
-Welcome.

Welcome, brother.

Ilkkan, you may
explain our situation.

Let's do the thing.

Ersin Chef, we went out
and had a talk about it.

We reviewed the future
of our company.

-We talked about everything.
-We talked about our dreams.

We saw that
there were some differences.

Some problems.

We saw that there were problems
to be solved.

There are problems.

We expect different things
in the short and medium terms.

-Our field of trade is actually...
-Dreams are different.

-The expectations are different.
-...do not match.

We are best friends.
These issues are delicate.

As we don't want to
ruin our friendship...

...we decided to give over.

Ersin...

Is that why you called me here?

It doesn't nice, brother.

I just stopped all my work
so that I can meet your needs.

Güngör, wait a second.

Let's understand it.

My dear...

Are you kidding me?

Huh?

Didn't you say...

...you wanted to open a shop?

Didn't you say you liked the sign?

Didn't you ask me to help you?

I gathered so many people here.

Are you guys fucking here?

Huh?

Serdar!

Close that door.
We'll have a talk.

Close the door.

Sir, stop the bullying.
First, stop bullying.

No one has to open a shop
if they don't want it.

This evening...

...you'll get fucked.

I though you were like me.
I tried to help you.

Here, my word is bond.

No one can humiliate me here.
Am I fool?

No, Chef Ersin...

...we weren't sure about
some things.

-We couldn't see the future.
-Not to be embarressed.

Of course you put an effort
for us.

I called the butcher.
He's on the way.

I found your staff and vehicle.

Güngör will make the sign.

What more should I do for you?

People don't deserve any favor.

Mr. Ersin,
I understand your favors.

All aside, our situation is...

I won't give over just
for your sake, Ersin.

My beautiful friend,
what did we talk about outside?

Let's talk. We agree or not.

Come partner,
let's get started.

We get this done, partner.

That's right, bravo!
This is how it is.

Don't be coward, be brave.

Let's choose from the catalogs.

-Let's choose one.
-Go ahead.

Look, for example,
something like this for the sign.

Yeah, that's nice.
This is good.

Which one?

That four-legged one, brother.

-What was the name of your shop?
-The Taste Show, brother.

The Taste Show.

We make standard vehicle size.

Of course.

-Okay, let's do it.
-Choose your cone.

We'd already chosen the first cone.
Let me show it.

We liked this one.

That is nice too...

It's code is 09.

You'll write the code too.

Now guys...

Two cones and a sign cost
5.000 TRY.

But for the sake of Ersin,
I'll charge you 3.000 TRY.

I don't get any labor fee.

Plus,
I'll give you a cone as a gift.

Thank you very much.
You embarrassed us.

Don't mention it.

How should we pay?

I get the money from them.
Then I'll give it to you.

Then good luck guys.

We thank you.

-You got it.
-Okay.

Koray, send me portion of kokariç.

Yes, our butcher is on the way.

Mr. Ersin,
what will be our total cost?

Budget is 100.000, right?

Yes.

It would cost less than it.

Okay, thanks.

Okay then.

The vehicle is here.

-The vehicle is here. Come on.
-Come on.

Come on!

I'm having a heart attack.

I'm not very good either,
but come on...

Guys, come on. Come.

Mr. Güngor forgot his catalog.

-Do you want ayran?
-I will get it soon.

-Is it good?
-I'll take it now.

Wow. Do you see it?

Not a single scratch.

All parts are original.

It's beautiful and well-kept but...

How could we make
and sell kokorec in this car?

We don't cook meatballs or kokorec.
Don't keep talking about it.

This car overturned only 5 times.

If it overturned, it's not okay.

What will you do?
Are you going take long trips?

The car is working. That's it.

But 5 overturns are too much.

Brother.

It doesn't matter
after the first time.

Then you'll buy it
if it had 5 overturns.

Okay. It had 1 overturn. Okay?

What is the price?
Price matters to us.

I'll leave it for 10.000 TRY.

Then you come back for
paper works.

Of course.

How much would you give now?

-Let's say, 1000 TRY? -
-1000 TRY, right now?

Of course.

I have no cash on me.
Do you have some?

Neither do I.

You can give us your IBAN.

We then use EFT etc.

What's IBAN?

-Are you calling it IBAN?
-What happened to your kidney?

What shall I say?
It's read that way.

-Fuck the dialysis and kidney.
-It's "I-BAN".

It's IBAN.

-No cash? 1.000 cash?
-No cash. We have nothing.

Let's draw from the card then.

Do you have pos device?

-No.
-Well?

Let's have tea now.

The butcher is on the way.
Then I have a surprise for you.

Are we ready?

-We are ready.
-Here you go.

Make the tea, boy.

Congratulations.
We bought a car.

It's good.
I hope it does us good.

I'm directly starting.
Ersin told me your situation.

Now first of all,
what am I doing here with meat?

Why do I show you calf meat?

Let's continue with questions
and answers, okay?

Yeah yeah.
Say your thoughts, friends.

Calf meat is our
most important ingredient.

But you'll sell kokorec
and meatball, so...

...I'm giving it to my assistant
and I continue.

Thank you very much.
We are convinced.

Thank you so much.
We would love to work with you.

Okay.
I'll send you the first order.

-Okay guys.
-Now...

I did something
without asking you.

I'd like to

...introduce you to someone...

...who is a true friend of mine...

...and like a brother to me.

Serdar, call Soysal.

Come, Soysal.

Ersin.

Soysal is a customer.

I found a customer for you.

But Soysal isn't just a customer.

He's a customer representative.

So brother?

He's not only a customer...

...but also he helps...

...to set their consumption
habits...

...he's an example to them.

I understood something like this.
I don't know if it's true.

That's right, brother.

Soysal is loyal,
he thinks carefully.

He talks about your shop to
his connections...

...in such a way that
you'll have so many customers.

There will more than you can serve.

Thank you very much
for your nice words.

I'd like to introduce myself.

My name is Soysal Erkenci.
I am 39 years old.

Give them a business card, Mesut.

For as long as I can remember...

...I'll buy my food from
meatball cars and buffets.

I like to have a night outs...

...then sitting together
in a meatball shop and...

...have something to eat.

Over time, I've become a gourmet.

Not a ordinary gourmet.

It leads me and my social network
into great places.

I'm so sorry interrupt,
but where's the bathroom?

Right there.

When you say street tastes
that culture is...

There are some elements creating
the fundamentals of that culture.

I'm a person having the authority
to represent my country.

[Soysal] It happened thanks to me
and my friends.

I've become an authority.

Where are the many flavors?
In China.

They cook scorpions like chips.

I ate "hot dog" in the USA...

...with Nuri and his daughter.

Hello, police?

I tasted everthing
our relions allows...

...including jellyfish
and crocodile.

Yes, they're forcing us
to open a kokorec shop.

We are under pressure.
They force us to open a shop.

Yes.

I'll tell you the address now.
At the Habibler Crossroad...

I'm saying it as someone...

...chasing the quality
and pay the price.

Okay? It's not how it looks like...

I couldn't attend
to my child's birthday.

Where was I? In Philippines.

I was eating balut with Neziye.

Balut is a dish...

...made with boiled duck embryo.

It's not for our taste.

Yes, please come quickly.
There's a kokorec shop there.

We are in kokorec shop right now.

Shall I tell my ID number now?

I'm in a very difficult situation.

ID...

Neziye got tetanus shot...

....because of that balut.
They deported us.

Well...

Then year after year,
chasing the taste...

...we became a big family.
New friends joined us.

For example this friend...

Thank you very much, brother.
We would love to work with you.

You made us very happy. Thanks.

You're welcome.
We got very happy.

Ersin's word is our command.

-We can't refuse him.
-Thank you, guys.

You're and we're...

...like that.

One for all, all for one.

It wouldn't work otherwise.

What's going on here?
Get out of here!

-What's going on?
-Please help us.

They trapped us here.

What is happening?

We got complaint about you.

You were forcing people
to open meatball shops.

There is no such thing.

Get out.

-Officer!
-Are you the owner of this place?

Yes, but there is no forcing.
Is such a thing possible?

Who can force someone
to open a shop?

Are you kidding?
Are you making fun of people?

No joking, what joke?

-Come on.
-It should be kokorec...

...but it's written as kokariç.
They're making fun of us.

-Come on brother, walk.
-Come on, to the police station.

[Discussion voices]

[Delphine Dupont & Gerome Gallo]
[Soiree mousse plays]

Firstly, get well soon.

Never ever again...

...make fun of the typo
of someone's sign.

-All right, sir.
-Good night.

Shall we wait a taxi?

Let's go to that corner.

Let's go there.
Let's wait there, come.