Arrested Development (2003–…): Season 5, Episode 13 - Episode #5.13 - full transcript
Now, the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything,
and the one son who had no choice
but to keep them all together.
It's Arrested Development.
Gotta avoid the sun.
Right there.
Sorry, Gob. Looks like there
isn't gonna be enough for you.
I never should have done Lindsay first.
Lindsay's having a widening spurt.
Please, I don't need any suntan lotion.
Dad never wears any.
Yeah. And he's doing fine
in the lady department.
- Oh.
- Well, Buster doesn't know
what the hell he's talking about!
I think Buster was actually talking
about Mom.
Oh, yes. No, uh... I thought...
you were talking about recent...
Yes, thank you.
Yes, she is, uh...
She is quite the beauty.
You kids have a lot of competition
for this year's family pageant.
Who is going to be...
Mr. and Mrs. Bluth 1982?
Oh!
It's always you guys.
We don't have a chance.
Well, that's the downside
of having a mother who never ages.
It must be something in these cigarettes.
It doesn't hurt
that you guys are the judges.
- They are?
- You guys are the judges?
I knew this day would come.
Maybe it is time.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay, uh...
Kids, your mother and I have discussed it,
and you're all old enough now
to actually impress us,
so...
...we're out of the running.
But that means
you need to step up your efforts
in the talent portion.
I already know what I'm doing.
And it can't just be push-ups.
Yeah, it won't just be push-ups.
So, good luck,
everyone, in the pageant.
I'm sure you'll all be thin
by Thursday, Lindsay.
- Out you go.
- Although, not so fast.
You have to wait
until your brother Buster's hooked up.
Oh, come on.
He still has to wear that dog collar?
It's not a dog collar.
- It's Buster's Gentleman Collar.
- Gentleman Collar.
And he barely even knows it's there.
Yeah, I barely know it's...
Well, he's grown a little.
Hey, wait.
You're in your suits already?
I thought you were gonna wait for me
before you went swimming.
It's not my fault
you're so greedy for a paycheck.
I was covering your shift.
- Oh, yeah. Pay up.
- Too late.
I already spent your pay on this.
You bought me a dorky, lame, stupid,
gay magic kit?
What? No. This is for me.
I got it for the Mr. Bluth Talent Pageant.
This is gonna be my talent.
Does it come with that bird?
No, I gotta get a bird.
But I'll get a bird.
Can I see?
Almost there...
Didn't Buster used to get past the window?
Mom tightened it
when he tried to put
that starfish in his mouth.
Yeah, but he's had a good summer.
He's made friends.
Actually, Mother made the friend for me.
So I named it after her: Lucille Ball.
Is anybody else worried she's ruining us?
Take that back!
You take that back!
- We're normal! We're normal!
- Okay. Down, down.
- Easy, Buster. Easy, boy.
- Sit.
Okay, well, you guys wait for me.
I'm gonna go change into my suit.
I would say wait for me,
but it might be a couple of years.
Hey, uh, Michael...
I think Buster wants to go take a swim.
I do!
I've never even got my suit wet
from the outside.
And I'm looking to turn that around,
buddy.
If you're talking
about Buster going into the ocean,
that is a terrible idea.
Besides,
Mom puts that stupid collar on him
every time he puts on his bathing suit.
No. Not every time.
He doesn't wear it
during the swimsuit competition
of the Mr. Bluth Pageant.
Sit.
By the way, guess who it turns out
the judges really are?
It's not Mom and Dad?
Magic is for girls.
And your bird's gonna die, Michael.
And when it does, it'll go back to...
whence it came.
Back to whence it came.
The Bluths were waiting
for information
from Michael and their attorney
after having made the news again.
Viewers, it was the graphic scene
behind the graphics
that caught the attention
of a sharp-eyed viewer
who saw something and said something.
On the top of a stair car
the police are calling
a "vehicle of interest,"
an alleged man, now identified
as Byron Buster Bluth,
can be seen dropping
a large person-type thing
into the water below.
Police think this may be a clue
to the disappearance
of Lucille Austero, with whom the suspect
had a long and rocky relationship.
Mr. Bluth was arrested last night
in an elevator in Newport.
It seems the Bluth Family...
And the family found themselves
in the last place
they ever expected to be:
a police station.
I never seem to get an end seat.
This is what happens
when you're richand white in America.
You happen to be caught on video,
dumping some large person-type thing
into the bay,
and nobody thinks, "I wonder how long
that guy has been working
for the real killer?"
Yeah, and they jumped right
to "He's the killer,"
and then don't think to add:
"but it's nice he's giving
the help the night off."
No, they're jealous. They are jealous.
And they won't stop
until one of us is a murderer.
Today, it's Buster.
Tomorrow... No, I guess it'll stop today.
- Today's the last day.
- Come on.
Let's all get on the same side here.
We need to be all together on this.
Yeah, I... I think that's a wonderful idea.
And really,
we're just asking this Asian gentleman
and his wife...?
To move over
to that group of chairs there,
freeing up the end seat,
which I would love
to take a shot at sitting in.
Okay, it is not great news.
Sorry.
To finish the thought,
that would free up this whole area
of seats for us.
From the "If You See Something,
Say Something" poster
- to the payphone.
- Tobias, please.
- What did you find out?
- My friend spoke to the DA's office,
and my lawyers were able
to reduce my sentence
to time served. Bad news?
I can't spend any time
with anybody under 25.
About Buster.
And... they officially charged him
with murder. First degree.
- Mm...
- First degree?
- They don't even have a body.
- Yes,
but they have his fingerprints
and her blood
all over the stair car, which was supposed
to be missing in Mexico.
In fact,
it was a picture of the stair car
at the border
that dismantled the DA's case
by showing the missing victim
along with Oscar...
...alibi and what we...
...that Michael had used
to get the DA
to release Buster from jail
in the first place.
- We did.
- And even though the picture
turned out to be just George Michael
and Maeby
dressing up as two of their heroes
before abandoning the broken-down truck
in Mexico,
the forensic evidence on a stair car
that served as the crime scene...
Okay, evidence guy, we're done.
...of the conjectured murder
was kept safely
out of the country...
Because you don't know DropBox?
That's not my job.
...as was Oscar,
who wasn't with Lucille 2.
Because that's the evidence...
But who, after hearing news
that Buster had been arrested,
went to the vehicle he'd hidden away
after finding it abandoned weeks earlier,
before driving it back into the States
to pick up his son, Buster...
...a man who would soon be implored
by his magician brother
to help him conceal the secrets
- of a magic trick.
- ...body-shaped thing.
- What is that?
- It was only after doing so
that Oscar decided to be the latest Bluth
to abandon a stair car,
unfortunately doing so
in a parking spot
that had only recently been assigned
to evidence supervisor Eddie Cantrow.
- Evidence parking only.
- Who, before realizing
that he was looking
at damaging evidence against Buster,
reacted poorly...
...damaging the evidence against Buster.
- Son of a bitch!
- In fairness to him,
it had taken him a super long time to get
a decent parking spot that he didn't have
to walk, like, a mile from.
Unfortunately,
someone tampered with the evidence.
But, look, even without it,
they still have the video
of him dumping something
in the bay that night.
And... And did he say
what it was that he dumped?
Or who gave him whatever
what it was that he dumped?
Or where that guy,
not the first guy but the second guy
who gave him what he dumped,
got... what it was that he dumped?
Not this time.
No, we... we didn't have him say anything.
I said, "Don't say a word.
Put on your poker face."
Although Buster's poker face
didn't really make him look
like less of a murderer.
Poker face.
How could this be happening?
Buster couldn't have done this.
I raised him totally by the book.
Mom, you had him on a leash
until he was six.
Well,
if that leash screwed him up so badly,
why does he still want to wear it?
Guys, it's not time
to play the blame game, okay?
Even though they do say, in most cases,
something happens in childhood
and, usually, the person
that raises them is to blame.
- But that's experts.
- I see.
Don't you try to pin this on Lupe.
She had her own family to raise, too.
Boy,
Mom brings up a very good point.
No one should say anything publicly
about this.
I should speak for the family.
- You?
- Mm-hmm.
- Who said it should be you?
- Well,
I'm in the family,
and it's gonna be crazy.
It's gonna be a media circus, Tobias.
Then I should be its ringmaster.
In fact, Tobias would've taken
any job at that moment,
as his current living arrangement
was tense, indeed.
Something that is really only clear
without the quick editing
and carefree score.
Who did that? Who did that?
- I was trying to be funny.
- Yeah?
How 'bout I put your head
through this glass table?
How funny would that be, young man?
Oh, try it, Dad!
I would so love that!
- I did not raise you to say the F-word!
- Everybody's tired!
We've all had
too much pain medication.
There were six.
There were six in here.
Who the took 'em?
- Why would you take these?
- I didn't take 'em!
- How dare you, young lady!
- Hey, stop yelling!
- I hate it when you guys fight!
- I've had enough of all
- of you guys. Hey.
- I've had enough of you.
- I'll break her neck.
- Let's get that music back on.
As you see, it's latex,
so it can go right up your ass.
Someone from this family needs
to speak for Buster.
Who is Buster Bluth?
A young, one-armed,
Iraq War vet suffering from PTSD,
raised by a young mother
who had him at 17,
whose only flaw was that...
she loved him... too much.
Actually, I was 37.
Well, no one would believe that.
- You're hired.
- No, you're not. Mom,
- I'll handle this.
- Oh, Michael,
let's be honest. Every time
you handle things, they're mishandled.
Yeah, your mom's right. I mean, lately,
you're just doing everything badly.
- Yeah, Dad, nail his ass.
- I'll pile on
to nailing that ass, Dad.
S... So, now that we've gotten
Tobias completely ruled out as ringmaster,
maybe we can talk about Buster
and maybe getting him a lawyer.
Oh! I should have led with this.
I have been officially disbarred.
I can't handle Buster's case
or anybody under 25.
Saves me an awkward conversation.
I think we need to get Buster
the best criminal lawyer available.
- Looking for the best?
- Yeah.
Well, if you're looking for the best,
there is only one group to go to.
They're called the Guilty Guys.
In fact, they were five
of the most prestigious attorneys
in Orange County.
There was Anita Bramwell,
a researcher as tough as a prosecutor,
whose photographic memory
was the perfect complement
to her photogenic good looks.
When it came to writing briefs,
Garrison "Harvard" Sweet
was as elegant on the page
as he was clumsy on the dance floor.
But in both cases, he wasn't afraid
to step on a few toes.
Trained by the FBI in forensics,
Shara Winfield not only knew
the science of law,
but the laws of science.
She was an expert who wasn't afraid
to get a little DNA on her.
With a state supreme court justice
as a father,
Jack Griffin had more to prove
than most upper-tier
Dartmouth law students.
He wasn't too proud to take money
and a country club membership
from his parents.
But he made it to the top of the list
by being just that good.
And hailing
from the mean streets of Oakland
comes a lawyer raised
by a single mother
who taught him the meaning
of justice, Jesus,
and when to not follow the rules.
David G. "G-Man" Barnes cared about
but one thing above the law:
his beloved Raiders.
These five professionals
had a perfect record
defending real criminals
who'd done real crimes.
Together, they were known as
the Guilty Guys.
And I think I might have gotten
Jack and David mixed up.
Very expensive
but very, very good,
especially if you're guilty.
He's not guilty.
- Then I would go with the cheaper option.
- Unacceptable.
We want the best.
Well, how are we gonna pay for that?
We don't have any money.
It's all tied up in Fakeblock.
Thanks, Michael.
"Thanks, Michael"?
How 'bout a little thanks
to the guy who drove the stock price up
and ended up screwing over
those other guys?
Who ended up being us. Thanks, Michael.
- Fakeblock's got nothing to do with this.
- Thanks, Michael.
That's right.
Because when we sell Fakeblock,
we give the money right back
to the Chinese
before they get angrier.
Angrier?
I didn't tell you,
but they left a message
saying that they hope their gift
was enough to...
"get us back on our feet."
They're... They're threatening our feet?
You don't think these Chinese
would first try to, I don't know,
- ding your credit rating?
- It's their culture.
Dusty was right.
I will say this for Saddam Hussein.
With him, you didn't have to guess.
It was very direct.
"I'll chop this off, I'll chop that off."
Right. With him, you knew where you stood.
Or... Or couldn't.
Well, the Chinese clearly know
we spent the money.
We're gonna have to sell Fakeblock,
so we can find a way to build the wall.
Guys, we... we're not selling Fakeblock,
okay?
We're gonna be able to find the money
to pay for these great lawyers, all right?
I've already identified a couple
of assets that we can part with.
Yeah, anything, Michael.
We should sell the beach house.
This is why we never told you
about the beach house, Michael.
Uh, can I add something?
This is why we never told you
about the beach house.
Let's roll.
Days later,
Michael was back at the office,
trying to get a sense of how soon
Fakeblock would be turning a profit.
Sorry, stranger, I only have time
for future billionaires.
Oh, it's you.
- Bingo.
- Uh, this...
this was delivered
to our office by mistake.
But it says "Bluth Company,"
so I thought I'd bring it.
Mailman mistake, huh?
Hard to believe we have those
in this analog world.
Hey, speaking of that,
how's it going down there?
- It's good. Yeah.
- Yeah?
Gob has been on lunch... most of today.
- Most of the week...
- Huh.
- ...actually...
- Yeah, listen,
Gob only cares about himself.
But I'm glad to get you up here,
because,
as I say, we need that software.
I mean, no pressure, but the lawyers
are charging a lot of money
down there.
- Oh, did you hire them?
- Oh, yeah.
And the billable hours
were coming in,
as the Guilty Guys
were finishing their first week
- of leaving no stone unturned.
- So there's no doubt in your mind?
None whatsoever.
There's no way the killer was Ann Veal.
No match.
- That's right.
- DNA don't lie.
Take her off the board.
- Got it.
- Run those files
and our billing for it over
to the Bluth Company and pronto.
I mean, Jesus Christ,
$7,000 to find out
that Ann Veal had nothing to do
with Buster's case?
Frankly, I'd ask you to bring
your rich girlfriend on
as a business associate,
but I respect your space.
Unless maybe...
we give it a shot?
Ship sailed on that or...?
It's... It's difficult, actually,
because I'm trying to figure out
whether her father can even be trusted.
It's difficult for me
to find that balance...
Oh, that's not why he can't ask her.
I wasn't even going to put this in,
but here's why.
You sold the company?
- A little.
- You can't sell a company a little.
That's like saying
you're a little bit tired.
You don't think you can be
a little bit tired?
My dad was gonna invest
in your company.
I was gonna invest in your company.
Then, suddenly,
you go behind my back and have sold it.
- You clearly don't trust me.
- I do trust you.
I just didn't want Fakeblock
to get in the way of our relationship.
Well, now it's not gonna get
in the way of anything.
Anything? I mean, so...
it's over now?
A little.
But not wanting to make
his father feel guilty,
George Michael kept this to himself.
I'm trying to get
a timeline on when profits
from the Fakeblock business
and so forth start up.
But I do respect your space.
I hope I haven't put the family
- in a bind.
- Well, the family is the other issue.
Your grandparents promised
to build that crazy...
border wall to some...
Oh. Chinese.
Now they're worrying
that the Chinese are gonna be upset
and say... Oh. "You will pay."
Huh.
Anyway, I said,
"We're not selling Fakeblock,
'cause, I promise you,
it'll make plenty of money."
Well, you know, I'd... be careful
of promising even a little.
You know, some people,
you give them an inch, and they take...
A foot.
They're threatening our feet?
Is it a foot now?
They shortened it.
Well, what I'm saying is,
finishing the software
is definitely possible.
And I'm not saying I botched it,
but...
What if it's botched?
As George Michael readied himself
to finally tell his father
the truth about Fakeblock...
I don't want to talk about it, okay?
What?
Why don't you go back downstairs
and get to work on that software floor?
Shut the door on the way out.
Thank you.
Just no rush on the software,
but just... ASAP.
Chop, chop.
Well, not "chop, chop," not...
That's a bad choice of words.
For Christ's sake.
♪ Sugarfoot ♪
Two days later,
Michael, after gathering news crews
to Sudden Valley,
prepared to make a hastily
thrown together announcement.
I think you're doing the right thing.
We want
to make the Chinese happy.
Believe me, you don't want them
sending your severed foot
to threaten some other guy
who doesn't want to build a bridge.
Yeah, I just...
I can't have my son in any danger.
That's why I said you should fire him.
That's what I'd do
if it were one of my kids.
Did you want me to fire him for you?
No. That's nice of you.
I mean, it's not...
It's not nice. Sorry.
It's quick.
Very, very quick of you to offer,
but George Michael
and I are finally close again, and, uh,
I didn't inherit your love
of firing family.
- And certainly not him.
- I know it's not family,
but maybe
- you'll do a big layoff around Christmas.
- God.
Are we already talking
about Christmas layoffs?
Guys, building the wall's the only way.
We took money from the Chinese investors.
I... I can't sell my son's company
to make good on a loan, but I think
that I have come up with a... work-around
- to pay them back.
- So sorry to interrupt.
- Hi.
- They're ready.
I finished writing your speech
about the wall. Question.
Do you need an opening parable?
It's hard to find one
where the wall builder isn't,
you know, starved to death
by his own wall,
or dies of loneliness by his own wall.
Or, of course,
is crushed to death by his own wall.
Yeah. We don't want
to blow the ending anyway.
Ah. Then you'll hate the one
about the honeybee.
And while Michael didn't know
if his announcement
would make it all the way
to China, it definitely made it
as far as the model home.
- Could those be... TV cameras?
- There you are.
Hey, I want to thank everybody
for coming out
to the great Bluth Company
border wall project.
Gob quickly made a call
- to his former compliance officer.
- Hello?
Nine rings?
Are you at Sudden Valley?
Yes, uh, I believe you were told,
although perhaps someone foolishly left
a message for you at work.
It's a business event.
- Beautiful day.
- The Bluth Company.
On TV?
- Are you on TV?
- A local channel
is televising it, I believe.
Yes, there they are.
- Okay.
- Absolutely great day.
Walk to the camera, okay?
- Walk to the camera quick, so I...
- I don't feel comfortable...
I need you to comply
and walk over to the camera!
Wow, this is perfect. Michael plans
a little "work event" during the weekmid.
Right? That's just... Look at me.
- I can't see you.
- Comply!
Look me in the eyes and tell me
that Michael didn't want me
to know about this
because I'm the president of Fakeblock.
It's why he planned it so early, isn't it?
Uh, Gob, really?
In fairness,
it is a Thursday at twenty to four.
Exactly, and everyone knows
the workday doesn't start
until nine to five.
Look,
I need to get back to him.
Michael's going to announce the wall.
Did he sell Fakeblock to build it?
Does George Michael know?
No, I believe
he found a way around that.
Well, I'm gonna tell him.
It's a groundbreaking.
I wouldn't be concerned.
A... a groundbreaking?
A groundbreaking?
Should... should... should...
Let history not judge us
for the ideology, but rather...
the quality of its workmanship,
for we are just filling orders.
You want to...
You... you...
Should... should I? Should...?
You want to see some...?
You wanna see groundbreaking gay TV?
Don't start without me.
- George Michael!
- Okay, but we've started.
- We're in the middle of... Hello?
- In a modern world where there
are certainly more threats greater
than a 34-year-old hard-working migrant
hoping
to send money home to feed
his wife and three young...
future rapists.
Of course,
I'm talking about the threat of cyber.
And that is why the Bluth Company
acquired a new partner
just for this project.
Adhir. Thank you.
- Wow!
- Look at that.
Okay? Introducing...
Fakeblock. We've purchased this company
solely in order to embed
its privacy technology...
- What the?!
- ...into our state-of-the-art prototype
wall project.
We meant to do this, folks,
so nobody was deceived.
And that's it.
And so, as Michael went
to ceremonially break ground
to prove that Fakeblock could build
an indestructible wall...
To the wall!
May it bring us all... together.
...Gob kind of made the opposite.
My name is Gob Bluth,
and as president of Fakeblock,
I have an announcement!
I'm building a wall!
Come back for the unveiling
in two full weeks!
- Wow, that was spectacular.
- Couldn't have gone better.
It's great, Michael.
I mean, it placates the Chinese,
and as long as cash comes in
from the software within the month...
- Yeah.
- ...we'll be able to pay
the lawyers who are working
on Buster's murder charges.
Come in close.
I think
I'm winning your mother back.
I'm gonna stick it to her tonight.
We couldn't be prouder, Michael.
And in his dreams.
- Right.
- Hey. Did you see that?
Did you see what I did?
Did you see that?
Yeah, yeah.
I had a shovel for you.
No, it's okay. I wanted to come in hot,
make a show of it.
God, did you see the look
on their faces?
Just when you said two weeks
to the unveiling.
Right?
And when you turned
and went after them.
George Michael's coming
after you, by the way.
- What was that?
- Hi.
Why would you bring my company
into this?
- Yup. Listen.
- Now we have a contract to fulfill?
I know that I told you you'd have time
to get the software all worked out,
but it is looking like we're gonna need it
in a month.
- A month?
- Yeah, I was hopingto stall for six,
but your uncle announced an unveiling
in two weeks.
The upside is, after this,
we're gonna be able to free up capital,
get you some tech guys.
I got some friends
in mapping I can talk to
- when they come up for air.
- I can't do this.
- You can't.
- Well...
Tell them it's off. Go up there
- and tell them it's off.
- That's the other thing.
I mean, there is no more...
"up there," um, and... and... and look, I...
I cannot call it off.
But I'm the one on the line.
I'm the only one who needs
to lose feet over this...
sleep over this.
You just need to make the software.
I should have told you, but,
it just seemed like something
that you might have
a knee-jerk overreaction to.
I can tell you what
your grandmother would do.
- Um...
- You're fired.
She does go right there,
but obviously
I don't think that you would go that far.
You have more shares than me,
- so you could fire me.
- I just did.
Yup. This is how it ended
for the honeybee, as well.
And that's when Michael decided
he deserved to use what was going to be...
You're fired.
...the Christmas present
he'd been saving for his mother.
On the next Arrested Development...
♪ I'm growin' up, find my way... ♪
Buster becomes...
one of 2015's biggest memes.
♪ Livin' large, who's in charge ♪
♪ Yes, you are, superstar ♪
♪ That's the only way I can... ♪
And The Guilty Guys have
another breakthrough in the case.
None of the other witnesses
even saw him near the stair car.
The mud should have splattered up
on his shoes.
Tests say no wear of any kind.
But how does he commit a crime
with no mess, then?
Guys, guys, guys, this fits
with the fact that he can't walk.
And has been carried everywhere he went,
damn it.
- Which means what, G-Man?
- He couldn't have committed this crime.
- In any way.
- Get that box of evidence
- over to The Bluth Company with the bill.
- We have it.
As they clear a man...
They're billing hours.
Get our time sheets in.
...who had died two years earlier.
Attention:
Michael Bluth, kid, stat.
who lost everything,
and the one son who had no choice
but to keep them all together.
It's Arrested Development.
Gotta avoid the sun.
Right there.
Sorry, Gob. Looks like there
isn't gonna be enough for you.
I never should have done Lindsay first.
Lindsay's having a widening spurt.
Please, I don't need any suntan lotion.
Dad never wears any.
Yeah. And he's doing fine
in the lady department.
- Oh.
- Well, Buster doesn't know
what the hell he's talking about!
I think Buster was actually talking
about Mom.
Oh, yes. No, uh... I thought...
you were talking about recent...
Yes, thank you.
Yes, she is, uh...
She is quite the beauty.
You kids have a lot of competition
for this year's family pageant.
Who is going to be...
Mr. and Mrs. Bluth 1982?
Oh!
It's always you guys.
We don't have a chance.
Well, that's the downside
of having a mother who never ages.
It must be something in these cigarettes.
It doesn't hurt
that you guys are the judges.
- They are?
- You guys are the judges?
I knew this day would come.
Maybe it is time.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay, uh...
Kids, your mother and I have discussed it,
and you're all old enough now
to actually impress us,
so...
...we're out of the running.
But that means
you need to step up your efforts
in the talent portion.
I already know what I'm doing.
And it can't just be push-ups.
Yeah, it won't just be push-ups.
So, good luck,
everyone, in the pageant.
I'm sure you'll all be thin
by Thursday, Lindsay.
- Out you go.
- Although, not so fast.
You have to wait
until your brother Buster's hooked up.
Oh, come on.
He still has to wear that dog collar?
It's not a dog collar.
- It's Buster's Gentleman Collar.
- Gentleman Collar.
And he barely even knows it's there.
Yeah, I barely know it's...
Well, he's grown a little.
Hey, wait.
You're in your suits already?
I thought you were gonna wait for me
before you went swimming.
It's not my fault
you're so greedy for a paycheck.
I was covering your shift.
- Oh, yeah. Pay up.
- Too late.
I already spent your pay on this.
You bought me a dorky, lame, stupid,
gay magic kit?
What? No. This is for me.
I got it for the Mr. Bluth Talent Pageant.
This is gonna be my talent.
Does it come with that bird?
No, I gotta get a bird.
But I'll get a bird.
Can I see?
Almost there...
Didn't Buster used to get past the window?
Mom tightened it
when he tried to put
that starfish in his mouth.
Yeah, but he's had a good summer.
He's made friends.
Actually, Mother made the friend for me.
So I named it after her: Lucille Ball.
Is anybody else worried she's ruining us?
Take that back!
You take that back!
- We're normal! We're normal!
- Okay. Down, down.
- Easy, Buster. Easy, boy.
- Sit.
Okay, well, you guys wait for me.
I'm gonna go change into my suit.
I would say wait for me,
but it might be a couple of years.
Hey, uh, Michael...
I think Buster wants to go take a swim.
I do!
I've never even got my suit wet
from the outside.
And I'm looking to turn that around,
buddy.
If you're talking
about Buster going into the ocean,
that is a terrible idea.
Besides,
Mom puts that stupid collar on him
every time he puts on his bathing suit.
No. Not every time.
He doesn't wear it
during the swimsuit competition
of the Mr. Bluth Pageant.
Sit.
By the way, guess who it turns out
the judges really are?
It's not Mom and Dad?
Magic is for girls.
And your bird's gonna die, Michael.
And when it does, it'll go back to...
whence it came.
Back to whence it came.
The Bluths were waiting
for information
from Michael and their attorney
after having made the news again.
Viewers, it was the graphic scene
behind the graphics
that caught the attention
of a sharp-eyed viewer
who saw something and said something.
On the top of a stair car
the police are calling
a "vehicle of interest,"
an alleged man, now identified
as Byron Buster Bluth,
can be seen dropping
a large person-type thing
into the water below.
Police think this may be a clue
to the disappearance
of Lucille Austero, with whom the suspect
had a long and rocky relationship.
Mr. Bluth was arrested last night
in an elevator in Newport.
It seems the Bluth Family...
And the family found themselves
in the last place
they ever expected to be:
a police station.
I never seem to get an end seat.
This is what happens
when you're richand white in America.
You happen to be caught on video,
dumping some large person-type thing
into the bay,
and nobody thinks, "I wonder how long
that guy has been working
for the real killer?"
Yeah, and they jumped right
to "He's the killer,"
and then don't think to add:
"but it's nice he's giving
the help the night off."
No, they're jealous. They are jealous.
And they won't stop
until one of us is a murderer.
Today, it's Buster.
Tomorrow... No, I guess it'll stop today.
- Today's the last day.
- Come on.
Let's all get on the same side here.
We need to be all together on this.
Yeah, I... I think that's a wonderful idea.
And really,
we're just asking this Asian gentleman
and his wife...?
To move over
to that group of chairs there,
freeing up the end seat,
which I would love
to take a shot at sitting in.
Okay, it is not great news.
Sorry.
To finish the thought,
that would free up this whole area
of seats for us.
From the "If You See Something,
Say Something" poster
- to the payphone.
- Tobias, please.
- What did you find out?
- My friend spoke to the DA's office,
and my lawyers were able
to reduce my sentence
to time served. Bad news?
I can't spend any time
with anybody under 25.
About Buster.
And... they officially charged him
with murder. First degree.
- Mm...
- First degree?
- They don't even have a body.
- Yes,
but they have his fingerprints
and her blood
all over the stair car, which was supposed
to be missing in Mexico.
In fact,
it was a picture of the stair car
at the border
that dismantled the DA's case
by showing the missing victim
along with Oscar...
...alibi and what we...
...that Michael had used
to get the DA
to release Buster from jail
in the first place.
- We did.
- And even though the picture
turned out to be just George Michael
and Maeby
dressing up as two of their heroes
before abandoning the broken-down truck
in Mexico,
the forensic evidence on a stair car
that served as the crime scene...
Okay, evidence guy, we're done.
...of the conjectured murder
was kept safely
out of the country...
Because you don't know DropBox?
That's not my job.
...as was Oscar,
who wasn't with Lucille 2.
Because that's the evidence...
But who, after hearing news
that Buster had been arrested,
went to the vehicle he'd hidden away
after finding it abandoned weeks earlier,
before driving it back into the States
to pick up his son, Buster...
...a man who would soon be implored
by his magician brother
to help him conceal the secrets
- of a magic trick.
- ...body-shaped thing.
- What is that?
- It was only after doing so
that Oscar decided to be the latest Bluth
to abandon a stair car,
unfortunately doing so
in a parking spot
that had only recently been assigned
to evidence supervisor Eddie Cantrow.
- Evidence parking only.
- Who, before realizing
that he was looking
at damaging evidence against Buster,
reacted poorly...
...damaging the evidence against Buster.
- Son of a bitch!
- In fairness to him,
it had taken him a super long time to get
a decent parking spot that he didn't have
to walk, like, a mile from.
Unfortunately,
someone tampered with the evidence.
But, look, even without it,
they still have the video
of him dumping something
in the bay that night.
And... And did he say
what it was that he dumped?
Or who gave him whatever
what it was that he dumped?
Or where that guy,
not the first guy but the second guy
who gave him what he dumped,
got... what it was that he dumped?
Not this time.
No, we... we didn't have him say anything.
I said, "Don't say a word.
Put on your poker face."
Although Buster's poker face
didn't really make him look
like less of a murderer.
Poker face.
How could this be happening?
Buster couldn't have done this.
I raised him totally by the book.
Mom, you had him on a leash
until he was six.
Well,
if that leash screwed him up so badly,
why does he still want to wear it?
Guys, it's not time
to play the blame game, okay?
Even though they do say, in most cases,
something happens in childhood
and, usually, the person
that raises them is to blame.
- But that's experts.
- I see.
Don't you try to pin this on Lupe.
She had her own family to raise, too.
Boy,
Mom brings up a very good point.
No one should say anything publicly
about this.
I should speak for the family.
- You?
- Mm-hmm.
- Who said it should be you?
- Well,
I'm in the family,
and it's gonna be crazy.
It's gonna be a media circus, Tobias.
Then I should be its ringmaster.
In fact, Tobias would've taken
any job at that moment,
as his current living arrangement
was tense, indeed.
Something that is really only clear
without the quick editing
and carefree score.
Who did that? Who did that?
- I was trying to be funny.
- Yeah?
How 'bout I put your head
through this glass table?
How funny would that be, young man?
Oh, try it, Dad!
I would so love that!
- I did not raise you to say the F-word!
- Everybody's tired!
We've all had
too much pain medication.
There were six.
There were six in here.
Who the took 'em?
- Why would you take these?
- I didn't take 'em!
- How dare you, young lady!
- Hey, stop yelling!
- I hate it when you guys fight!
- I've had enough of all
- of you guys. Hey.
- I've had enough of you.
- I'll break her neck.
- Let's get that music back on.
As you see, it's latex,
so it can go right up your ass.
Someone from this family needs
to speak for Buster.
Who is Buster Bluth?
A young, one-armed,
Iraq War vet suffering from PTSD,
raised by a young mother
who had him at 17,
whose only flaw was that...
she loved him... too much.
Actually, I was 37.
Well, no one would believe that.
- You're hired.
- No, you're not. Mom,
- I'll handle this.
- Oh, Michael,
let's be honest. Every time
you handle things, they're mishandled.
Yeah, your mom's right. I mean, lately,
you're just doing everything badly.
- Yeah, Dad, nail his ass.
- I'll pile on
to nailing that ass, Dad.
S... So, now that we've gotten
Tobias completely ruled out as ringmaster,
maybe we can talk about Buster
and maybe getting him a lawyer.
Oh! I should have led with this.
I have been officially disbarred.
I can't handle Buster's case
or anybody under 25.
Saves me an awkward conversation.
I think we need to get Buster
the best criminal lawyer available.
- Looking for the best?
- Yeah.
Well, if you're looking for the best,
there is only one group to go to.
They're called the Guilty Guys.
In fact, they were five
of the most prestigious attorneys
in Orange County.
There was Anita Bramwell,
a researcher as tough as a prosecutor,
whose photographic memory
was the perfect complement
to her photogenic good looks.
When it came to writing briefs,
Garrison "Harvard" Sweet
was as elegant on the page
as he was clumsy on the dance floor.
But in both cases, he wasn't afraid
to step on a few toes.
Trained by the FBI in forensics,
Shara Winfield not only knew
the science of law,
but the laws of science.
She was an expert who wasn't afraid
to get a little DNA on her.
With a state supreme court justice
as a father,
Jack Griffin had more to prove
than most upper-tier
Dartmouth law students.
He wasn't too proud to take money
and a country club membership
from his parents.
But he made it to the top of the list
by being just that good.
And hailing
from the mean streets of Oakland
comes a lawyer raised
by a single mother
who taught him the meaning
of justice, Jesus,
and when to not follow the rules.
David G. "G-Man" Barnes cared about
but one thing above the law:
his beloved Raiders.
These five professionals
had a perfect record
defending real criminals
who'd done real crimes.
Together, they were known as
the Guilty Guys.
And I think I might have gotten
Jack and David mixed up.
Very expensive
but very, very good,
especially if you're guilty.
He's not guilty.
- Then I would go with the cheaper option.
- Unacceptable.
We want the best.
Well, how are we gonna pay for that?
We don't have any money.
It's all tied up in Fakeblock.
Thanks, Michael.
"Thanks, Michael"?
How 'bout a little thanks
to the guy who drove the stock price up
and ended up screwing over
those other guys?
Who ended up being us. Thanks, Michael.
- Fakeblock's got nothing to do with this.
- Thanks, Michael.
That's right.
Because when we sell Fakeblock,
we give the money right back
to the Chinese
before they get angrier.
Angrier?
I didn't tell you,
but they left a message
saying that they hope their gift
was enough to...
"get us back on our feet."
They're... They're threatening our feet?
You don't think these Chinese
would first try to, I don't know,
- ding your credit rating?
- It's their culture.
Dusty was right.
I will say this for Saddam Hussein.
With him, you didn't have to guess.
It was very direct.
"I'll chop this off, I'll chop that off."
Right. With him, you knew where you stood.
Or... Or couldn't.
Well, the Chinese clearly know
we spent the money.
We're gonna have to sell Fakeblock,
so we can find a way to build the wall.
Guys, we... we're not selling Fakeblock,
okay?
We're gonna be able to find the money
to pay for these great lawyers, all right?
I've already identified a couple
of assets that we can part with.
Yeah, anything, Michael.
We should sell the beach house.
This is why we never told you
about the beach house, Michael.
Uh, can I add something?
This is why we never told you
about the beach house.
Let's roll.
Days later,
Michael was back at the office,
trying to get a sense of how soon
Fakeblock would be turning a profit.
Sorry, stranger, I only have time
for future billionaires.
Oh, it's you.
- Bingo.
- Uh, this...
this was delivered
to our office by mistake.
But it says "Bluth Company,"
so I thought I'd bring it.
Mailman mistake, huh?
Hard to believe we have those
in this analog world.
Hey, speaking of that,
how's it going down there?
- It's good. Yeah.
- Yeah?
Gob has been on lunch... most of today.
- Most of the week...
- Huh.
- ...actually...
- Yeah, listen,
Gob only cares about himself.
But I'm glad to get you up here,
because,
as I say, we need that software.
I mean, no pressure, but the lawyers
are charging a lot of money
down there.
- Oh, did you hire them?
- Oh, yeah.
And the billable hours
were coming in,
as the Guilty Guys
were finishing their first week
- of leaving no stone unturned.
- So there's no doubt in your mind?
None whatsoever.
There's no way the killer was Ann Veal.
No match.
- That's right.
- DNA don't lie.
Take her off the board.
- Got it.
- Run those files
and our billing for it over
to the Bluth Company and pronto.
I mean, Jesus Christ,
$7,000 to find out
that Ann Veal had nothing to do
with Buster's case?
Frankly, I'd ask you to bring
your rich girlfriend on
as a business associate,
but I respect your space.
Unless maybe...
we give it a shot?
Ship sailed on that or...?
It's... It's difficult, actually,
because I'm trying to figure out
whether her father can even be trusted.
It's difficult for me
to find that balance...
Oh, that's not why he can't ask her.
I wasn't even going to put this in,
but here's why.
You sold the company?
- A little.
- You can't sell a company a little.
That's like saying
you're a little bit tired.
You don't think you can be
a little bit tired?
My dad was gonna invest
in your company.
I was gonna invest in your company.
Then, suddenly,
you go behind my back and have sold it.
- You clearly don't trust me.
- I do trust you.
I just didn't want Fakeblock
to get in the way of our relationship.
Well, now it's not gonna get
in the way of anything.
Anything? I mean, so...
it's over now?
A little.
But not wanting to make
his father feel guilty,
George Michael kept this to himself.
I'm trying to get
a timeline on when profits
from the Fakeblock business
and so forth start up.
But I do respect your space.
I hope I haven't put the family
- in a bind.
- Well, the family is the other issue.
Your grandparents promised
to build that crazy...
border wall to some...
Oh. Chinese.
Now they're worrying
that the Chinese are gonna be upset
and say... Oh. "You will pay."
Huh.
Anyway, I said,
"We're not selling Fakeblock,
'cause, I promise you,
it'll make plenty of money."
Well, you know, I'd... be careful
of promising even a little.
You know, some people,
you give them an inch, and they take...
A foot.
They're threatening our feet?
Is it a foot now?
They shortened it.
Well, what I'm saying is,
finishing the software
is definitely possible.
And I'm not saying I botched it,
but...
What if it's botched?
As George Michael readied himself
to finally tell his father
the truth about Fakeblock...
I don't want to talk about it, okay?
What?
Why don't you go back downstairs
and get to work on that software floor?
Shut the door on the way out.
Thank you.
Just no rush on the software,
but just... ASAP.
Chop, chop.
Well, not "chop, chop," not...
That's a bad choice of words.
For Christ's sake.
♪ Sugarfoot ♪
Two days later,
Michael, after gathering news crews
to Sudden Valley,
prepared to make a hastily
thrown together announcement.
I think you're doing the right thing.
We want
to make the Chinese happy.
Believe me, you don't want them
sending your severed foot
to threaten some other guy
who doesn't want to build a bridge.
Yeah, I just...
I can't have my son in any danger.
That's why I said you should fire him.
That's what I'd do
if it were one of my kids.
Did you want me to fire him for you?
No. That's nice of you.
I mean, it's not...
It's not nice. Sorry.
It's quick.
Very, very quick of you to offer,
but George Michael
and I are finally close again, and, uh,
I didn't inherit your love
of firing family.
- And certainly not him.
- I know it's not family,
but maybe
- you'll do a big layoff around Christmas.
- God.
Are we already talking
about Christmas layoffs?
Guys, building the wall's the only way.
We took money from the Chinese investors.
I... I can't sell my son's company
to make good on a loan, but I think
that I have come up with a... work-around
- to pay them back.
- So sorry to interrupt.
- Hi.
- They're ready.
I finished writing your speech
about the wall. Question.
Do you need an opening parable?
It's hard to find one
where the wall builder isn't,
you know, starved to death
by his own wall,
or dies of loneliness by his own wall.
Or, of course,
is crushed to death by his own wall.
Yeah. We don't want
to blow the ending anyway.
Ah. Then you'll hate the one
about the honeybee.
And while Michael didn't know
if his announcement
would make it all the way
to China, it definitely made it
as far as the model home.
- Could those be... TV cameras?
- There you are.
Hey, I want to thank everybody
for coming out
to the great Bluth Company
border wall project.
Gob quickly made a call
- to his former compliance officer.
- Hello?
Nine rings?
Are you at Sudden Valley?
Yes, uh, I believe you were told,
although perhaps someone foolishly left
a message for you at work.
It's a business event.
- Beautiful day.
- The Bluth Company.
On TV?
- Are you on TV?
- A local channel
is televising it, I believe.
Yes, there they are.
- Okay.
- Absolutely great day.
Walk to the camera, okay?
- Walk to the camera quick, so I...
- I don't feel comfortable...
I need you to comply
and walk over to the camera!
Wow, this is perfect. Michael plans
a little "work event" during the weekmid.
Right? That's just... Look at me.
- I can't see you.
- Comply!
Look me in the eyes and tell me
that Michael didn't want me
to know about this
because I'm the president of Fakeblock.
It's why he planned it so early, isn't it?
Uh, Gob, really?
In fairness,
it is a Thursday at twenty to four.
Exactly, and everyone knows
the workday doesn't start
until nine to five.
Look,
I need to get back to him.
Michael's going to announce the wall.
Did he sell Fakeblock to build it?
Does George Michael know?
No, I believe
he found a way around that.
Well, I'm gonna tell him.
It's a groundbreaking.
I wouldn't be concerned.
A... a groundbreaking?
A groundbreaking?
Should... should... should...
Let history not judge us
for the ideology, but rather...
the quality of its workmanship,
for we are just filling orders.
You want to...
You... you...
Should... should I? Should...?
You want to see some...?
You wanna see groundbreaking gay TV?
Don't start without me.
- George Michael!
- Okay, but we've started.
- We're in the middle of... Hello?
- In a modern world where there
are certainly more threats greater
than a 34-year-old hard-working migrant
hoping
to send money home to feed
his wife and three young...
future rapists.
Of course,
I'm talking about the threat of cyber.
And that is why the Bluth Company
acquired a new partner
just for this project.
Adhir. Thank you.
- Wow!
- Look at that.
Okay? Introducing...
Fakeblock. We've purchased this company
solely in order to embed
its privacy technology...
- What the?!
- ...into our state-of-the-art prototype
wall project.
We meant to do this, folks,
so nobody was deceived.
And that's it.
And so, as Michael went
to ceremonially break ground
to prove that Fakeblock could build
an indestructible wall...
To the wall!
May it bring us all... together.
...Gob kind of made the opposite.
My name is Gob Bluth,
and as president of Fakeblock,
I have an announcement!
I'm building a wall!
Come back for the unveiling
in two full weeks!
- Wow, that was spectacular.
- Couldn't have gone better.
It's great, Michael.
I mean, it placates the Chinese,
and as long as cash comes in
from the software within the month...
- Yeah.
- ...we'll be able to pay
the lawyers who are working
on Buster's murder charges.
Come in close.
I think
I'm winning your mother back.
I'm gonna stick it to her tonight.
We couldn't be prouder, Michael.
And in his dreams.
- Right.
- Hey. Did you see that?
Did you see what I did?
Did you see that?
Yeah, yeah.
I had a shovel for you.
No, it's okay. I wanted to come in hot,
make a show of it.
God, did you see the look
on their faces?
Just when you said two weeks
to the unveiling.
Right?
And when you turned
and went after them.
George Michael's coming
after you, by the way.
- What was that?
- Hi.
Why would you bring my company
into this?
- Yup. Listen.
- Now we have a contract to fulfill?
I know that I told you you'd have time
to get the software all worked out,
but it is looking like we're gonna need it
in a month.
- A month?
- Yeah, I was hopingto stall for six,
but your uncle announced an unveiling
in two weeks.
The upside is, after this,
we're gonna be able to free up capital,
get you some tech guys.
I got some friends
in mapping I can talk to
- when they come up for air.
- I can't do this.
- You can't.
- Well...
Tell them it's off. Go up there
- and tell them it's off.
- That's the other thing.
I mean, there is no more...
"up there," um, and... and... and look, I...
I cannot call it off.
But I'm the one on the line.
I'm the only one who needs
to lose feet over this...
sleep over this.
You just need to make the software.
I should have told you, but,
it just seemed like something
that you might have
a knee-jerk overreaction to.
I can tell you what
your grandmother would do.
- Um...
- You're fired.
She does go right there,
but obviously
I don't think that you would go that far.
You have more shares than me,
- so you could fire me.
- I just did.
Yup. This is how it ended
for the honeybee, as well.
And that's when Michael decided
he deserved to use what was going to be...
You're fired.
...the Christmas present
he'd been saving for his mother.
On the next Arrested Development...
♪ I'm growin' up, find my way... ♪
Buster becomes...
one of 2015's biggest memes.
♪ Livin' large, who's in charge ♪
♪ Yes, you are, superstar ♪
♪ That's the only way I can... ♪
And The Guilty Guys have
another breakthrough in the case.
None of the other witnesses
even saw him near the stair car.
The mud should have splattered up
on his shoes.
Tests say no wear of any kind.
But how does he commit a crime
with no mess, then?
Guys, guys, guys, this fits
with the fact that he can't walk.
And has been carried everywhere he went,
damn it.
- Which means what, G-Man?
- He couldn't have committed this crime.
- In any way.
- Get that box of evidence
- over to The Bluth Company with the bill.
- We have it.
As they clear a man...
They're billing hours.
Get our time sheets in.
...who had died two years earlier.
Attention:
Michael Bluth, kid, stat.