Arrested Development (2003–…): Season 1, Episode 12 - Marta Complex - full transcript
It's Valentine's Day and everyone but Michael has a reason to celebrate. Buster, tired of dealing with his mother, goes to live with the rest of the family in the model home. But soon Marta realizes that Michael is the one she has feelings for, not GOB.
Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...
and the one son
who had no choice...
but to keep them all together.
It's Arrested Development.
It was
Michael's sister's anniversary.
- Hi.
He'd convinced his mother
to throw a party for her.
Lindsay, how's this for
an anniversary cake?
Anniversary? You asked me
to throw a Valentine's Day party.
- Did I?
- You tricked me.
I deceived you, Mom. Tricked makes
it sound like we have a playful relationship.
Touch?. Lupe, untie the balloons!
Michael, all alone
on Valentine's Day?
How's that possible?
You seem like such a romantic to me.
l- l-I can just see you showing up
on some lucky girl's porch...
in a tuxedo
with a bottle of champagne.
Yeah. Well, if I show up
with all that stuff...
I could probably just get away
with shorts and a T-shirt, right?
Which is good
'cause I don't even have a tuxedo.
So you're saying there's no one
you're even interested in?
In fact,
Michael had become enamored of Marta...
when Gob was having second thoughts
about the relationship.
- I've made a huge mistake.
- But when Gob recommitted to her...
- I've made a huge mistake.
- Michael decided to do the
noble thing and let her go.
There was somebody for a while,
but it was too much of a brother... bother.
That can't feel good.
It's fine. I'm over it.
I'm okay by myself, you know?
I really just want to focus
on my family's happiness.
That's why I threw this party.
I mean, 14 years, huh?
You've got to be doing
somethin' right.
Well, if you call not filing
for divorce "something right."
- But I guess we keep it interesting.
- Where's Tobias?
He's on the balcony having margaritas
with Carl Weathers.
Tobias had recently
hired actor Carl Weathers as a drama coach.
Do you see me more as
the respected dramatic actor...
or more the beloved comic actor?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
There's still plenty of meat on that bone.
You take this home, throw it in a pot.
Add some broth, a potato...
Baby, you got a stew goin'.
Yes, that's fine. But I would like to focus
on my acting, Mr. Weathers.
I did give you my last $1,100.
Let me tell you a little story
about acting.
I was doing this Showtime movie,
Hot Ice, with Anne Archer.
Never once touched my per diem.
I go to craft service, get some raw veggies,
bacon, cup of soup...
Baby, I had a stew goin'.
I think I'd like my money back.
Like his father, George Michael
had been nursing an impossible crush.
It was on his cousin, Maeby.
And with no one to talk to,
he was looking for some kind of direction.
just give me a sign.
First one's obvious. Okay.
He continued to look for a sign.
- Until finally...
- "Maybe tonight."
What are the chances?
Actually, "Maybe Tonight"
was a very popular candy slogan...
and the chances were one in eight.
- What are you doin'?
- Just tryin' to throw stuff at my dad's head...
- but the wind keeps taking it.
- Oh, cool.
So, I, uh... I found this.
I thought it was like a one-in-a-million thing.
It just made me think of you.
- Oh, perfect.
- Trying to make my relation...
- I saw that.
- And Lucille...
found a way to force a wedge
into her son's relationship.
Lucille, guess who's coming to dinner?
I've invited Carl
to dine with us next Tuesday.
Mother, you know
I have class on Tuesday.
Oh, how silly of me.
Well, then perhaps the two of you
can have dinner alone.
Oh, well, I never say no to dinner,
with a beautiful lady that is.
- Do you like ham?
- No. I love it.
And the family gathered to watch a videotape...
George Sr. had sent Lindsay and Tobias
for their anniversary.
Hello, I'm George Bluth...
and for the next 45 minutes...
let me take you on a journey...
Good grief. He sent us
one of his idiot videotapes.
First this...
- You've seen
George Bluth on videotape.
You have got to learn
to be alone.
I cheated and I lied.
And I whored around.
Caged Wisdom changed my life.
Now is your chance to own
the entire George Bluth Caged Wisdom library...
for only four payments of 19.95.
- This was supposed to be my anniversary toast.
- Yeah.
And this was supposed to be
my Valentine's Day party.
Speaking of which...
Lupe, where are those balloons?
You want balloons?
Speech, speech, speech...
{Joining In]
Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech...
speech, speech, speech speech...
- Come on, speech.
- Speech, speech, speech, speech...
The family continued
to chant, "Speech, speech, speech'...
for no one in particular.
- Speech, speech...
- All right.
Speech.
After all that, I was kinda hoping
somebody would make a speech.
- Speech, speech, speech...
- All right, all right, all right. I'll say something.
- Typical.
- We've all had a tough couple of months.
I think we're all really
figuring out who we are...
and what we really need in life.
And that can be painful.
However, you can't really heal yourself
until you stop living a lie, you know.
But, uh, l-I promise that we're all
gonna be a lot happier in the long run.
So, on a very unusual
Valentine's Day...
cheers to Mom and Dad,
to Buster and Lucille...
- Don't forget my girlfriend.
- That's who I meant.
- Don't forget my girlfriend.
- That's who I meant.
To Lindsay and Tobias,
to George Michael and...
I almost said George Michael and Maeby.
- Oh.
- Um, to Gob and Marta.
- Mmm.
- To love and happiness.
I love you all, Marta.
And Marta realized it was Michael, not Gob...
who had everything
she had been looking for in a man.
I made a huge mistake.
I was thinking about that toast
you gave at my anniversary party.
- So, I want to get a divorce.
- What?
Do you think I should use our attorney, Barry,
or just kind of bolt in the night?
I'm leaning toward bolt
in the night, but...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lindsay,
I wasn't talking about getting a divorce.
Oh, Michael.
It's time.
The man's psychologically incapable
of taking all of his clothes off.
In fact,
Tobias was a never-nude.
As of yet, the D.S.M. -IV
has not acknowledged the affliction.
I don't know, Lindsay.
I mean, who am I to judge?
On the other hand,
I am doing it anyway...
so let me suggest before you talk divorce,
at least consider a separation.
- You know, you do have a kid.
- I know.
I was gonna take her with me in the night.
She's part of the bolt.
Lindsay.
All right. I'll think about it.
- Hello?
- Hey, brother.
I just want to tell you how much
I enjoyed your speech yesterday.
You know, about family and...
and being true to ourselves.
Oh, well, I'm...
I'm glad it made an impact.
Yeah. I never want
to look at Mom again.
What happened?
Well, I can't really talk.
She might be listening in.
Do you know she tried to set up
my girlfriend with a man?
This has to stop.
You know, that's not really
what I was going for.
I'm a man, Mike!
I'm a man.
Can I throw out this yogurt?
Buster, two things.
First of all, I think it might be time
for you to move out, you know?
Secondly, you don't want to take any chances
with yogurt, Mom. Just let her throw it out.
- He-Hello? Who's on this phone?
- Hey. Huh?
- Michael?
- Hey.
- Great speech last night.
- Oh, really? What did it inspire
you to do, kill somebody?
Getting there.
Marta's cheating on me.
- What?
- Yeah, can you believe that?
That's crazy, Gob. She's not a cheater.
If she were to cheat, I'd like to think she'd cheat...
- You're the cheater.
- That's how I know all the signs.
Last night she was all distant and weird.
Wouldn't let me make love to her
on Mom's bed.
I don't even want to tell you
what she wouldn't let me do to her in the car.
And then today, I overhear her talking on
the phone about somebody all super silently.
All in Spanish.
In fact, Marta was on the phone
with her mother talking about Michael.
Hermano.
She kept using this guy's name,
like, "Hermano."
Let me tell you something. We're gonna track
this "Hermano" down, and we're gonna nail him.
'Cause if anyone's gonna go out with that girl,
it's gonna be one of us.
- Right. Me.
- And I'm okay with that.
I don't get it.
Why do we have to change rooms?
Cousins of the opposite gender
shouldn't be sharing a room.
But that's just the point. I mean, we're cousins.
Gender has nothing to do with it.
I mean, cousins can bunk together.
That's why they call it "bunkin' cousins."
- "Kissin' cousins."
- We're not kissing! That's the point!
George Michael was concerned
that Tobias had seen the candy heart...
that said "Maybe Tonight"and had figured out
that he had a crush on his cousin.
Besides, I don't even care. You said share
a room with her, I shared a room with her.
Now you're saying don't share a room
with her. Fine. I'm just doing whatever you say.
You know, the adults making all the decisions
around here. Why am I in trouble?
You're not in trouble. We're all just gonna have
a more normal arrangement.
I'm gonna sleep with my daughter,
and you're gonna sleep with my husband.
Buster had taken Michael's advice
and decided to confront his mother.
"Because you know I don't
appreciate how you treat me.
I am not a child, Mother."
Blow.
No, Mother!
I can blow myself.
And you have interfered
for the last time.
Fine. Go! Move out.
So, Buster loaded up his possessions...
and emancipated himself
from his mother.
Oh, hey, Buster.
I thought you had class.
I thought you had class.
My brother-in-law fires you...
- and you move in on my girlfriend?
- Come on now. Wait a minute.
This is purely a social call. You know,
just two adults gettin' a stew on, man.
I don't know what that means,
but it sounds disgusting.
Hey, Buster.
Gee, I thought you had class.
I thought you had class!
I want to move in with you.
I'm tired of my mom
trying to control me.
Wait a minute. Are you sure you're doing this
because you want to be with me...
- and not because you want
to get even with your mother?
- This isn't about my mother.
Besides, it's the only way
I'm ever gonna get her to respect me.
Buster, this is exactly why
our relationship does not work.
- Our relationship doesn't work?
- Not as long as you keep getting
me mixed up with your mother.
It is exactly the opposite.
I'm leaving my mother for you.
You're replacing my mother.
You need some time.
Huh?
Meanwhile, Michael was
following Marta to confirm...
Gob's suspicions about her affair.
First, he saw her buy a present
at an exclusive men's store.
The trail then led Michael to the set
of Marta's Spanish language soap opera.
Excuse me. I'm looking for "Hermano."
-? Mi hermano? Ahi.
- Mmm.
- There, in the green? Great, thanks. Gracias.
- Mm-hmm.
"Hermano."
- Are you "Hermano"?
-? Mi hermano?
Es ahi.
- That's the guy who just...
- Mm-hmm.
Son of a bitch.
Hey.
Marta.
I had to see you.
He moved out.
Moved out? Buster did?
- I know it's for his own good, but I'm worried.
- He's gonna be fine.
I'm not worried about him.
I've never lived
in the apartment alone.
- I'm not sure I'm up to this.
- All right. Shh, shh, shh.
Listen. I know you think
I'm going after the $49...
but I want... I want you to watch
a little Caged Wisdom.
- Not this garbage again.
- There is joy in solitude, Lucille.
Try being alone.
l-l-It just might make you happier.
Honey, my happiest times here
are alone.
Hey, Bruno, any chance that the hole
is available between 4:00 and 6:00?
I don't even want to know
what that means.
With nowhere else to go,
Buster arrived at the model home.
- Buster Bluth.
- Hey, Brother-in-law.
Good news.
Carl got me an audition.
- Carl Weathers?
- I think the world is about to fall in love...
with "Frightened Inmate #2."
Well, at least he gave you something.
Carl Weathers took everything from me.
My entire life just came crashing down,
and it's all his fault.
I will never love again.
- Hello.
- Oh, my God.
- Is everything okay?
- And suddenly...
Buster realized Marta was
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
I've been dating an old lady.
Is Michael here?
- l-I don't... I don't know where he is.
- In fact...
Michael was just returning
from his day of following Marta.
Well, I lost her.
- Michael.
- Marta.
- I'm so glad I caught you.
- You caught me?
- Yes.
- Oh.
First of all, thank you so much
for the lovely party...
and for making me feel
so welcome in your family.
- Yeah, sure.
- We love you!
Can l... Can I stay here
for a little while?
Everybody's already sharing
a bedroom but me, Buster.
Oh, perfect.
So, I was hoping you might
have some time to talk.
There's something I need...
- Maybe we could have dinner?
- Hello.
She's at the house.
She's at the house!
- One second.
- I'm gonna speak very carefully
in case she's with you.
- You're right.
- Right about what? She's there?
What's going on? Who's with you?
If it's Marta, say "nobody."
- Nobody.
- Well, now I don't know what's going on.
So, did you find out anything?
l-I'm dying here, Michael.
- D-Did you find that guy? What's his name?
- "Hermano."
- "Hermano."
- Is that your brother?
Hmm? No. He's upstairs, remember?
Listen, I gotta go. Somebody wants
to take me out to dinner.
- Somebody?
- Nobody.
- Why don't I just come in? I'm right outside.
- No, no. Not... Not a good idea.
Somebody wants to talk to me
about something.
Ah, she wants
to talk to you. Got it.
For some reason
women feel safe around you.
Maybe because you've only
had sex four times.
Four women! Not four times!
And they talk to me because I talk to them.
Look, go to dinner. Let's get to
the bottom of this "Hermano" stuff, brother.
- Yep. Great.
- Great.
Hey, about dinner,
I'd love to.
Tobias arrived at his audition
for "Frightened Inmate #2."
The competition frightened Tobias,
which he felt he could use in his performance.
Unfortunately this made him
more confident...
which frightened him again.
I'm ready.
That night, Maeby moved in to Lindsay's room.
Isn't this fun?
It's like a slumber party.
Hmm.
That's it! Tell me what's up
with you and Dad.
Nothing. Nothing's wrong
with your father and me.
We have a... a wonderful,
close relationship.
Can I let you in
on a little secret?
Hmm? Having him in the next room
makes me miss him all the more.
Mom, please. He's got a big-boy crush
on Action Jackson.
I know. How can I compete with that?
Okay. We're having
a little fight right now.
But don't worry, darling. Okay?
Mommy and Daddy
aren't going anywhere.
Okay. I'm gonna go
unpack my suitcase.
No! We may have to bolt.
Tobias moved in to George Michael's room.
Maeby and I were cool with each other.
And you must miss your wife.
It's practically still
your anniversary.
Fourteen years of lies.
Yes, I'm the doctor.
The perfect husband.
The big manly man.
The big strong daddy.
Do you know the last time
that I made love to my wife?
- No.
- I'll tell you when.
- No, don't.
- See, nothing has ever been easy for us.
I mean, the only reason she went out with me
was to piss offher boyfriend.
The only reason she ever married me
was to piss off her mother.
And then, of course, we couldn't conceive.
So there was that famous ordeal.
Wh-What do you mean you couldn't
conceive? Was Maeby adopted?
What? Is she not really related to me?
Is she just some girl I know?
Ah, it's Carl Weathers.
Yes, Carl Weathers.
I did? That's... That's wonderful.
That's...
Huh! I booked it!
I booked the acting job!
Did you hear that, Lindsay? You could have been
sleeping with "Frightened Inmate #2."
And Lucille was experiencing
being alone for the first time.
Unable to sleep,
she decided to watch TV.
You have got to learn to be alone.
Then she remembered
that with no one to disturb...
she could turn up the volume
as loud as she wanted.
Caged Wisdom teaches you
that you have to find thejoy within yourself.
And that's when Lucille realized...
that shejust might like being alone after all.
The next night,
Michael had dinner with Marta at her house...
hoping to finally get
the answers he was looking for.
So, um, about Gob.
How's that goin'?
Well, as you said...
finding out who you really are,
it can be painful.
- But you can't live a lie.
- No, I can't.
But some people find a way
to make that work.
Yes, but sometimes
working at something...
it's a way to not deal
with some other thing.
But he who often suggests...
uh, working on another thing...
- which when the first thing is not...
- Will you excuse me for a moment?
Yes. Sure.
- What the hell is he talking about?
- What is she talking about?
- Can I have a piece of cake?
- And Michael saw an opportunity...
to get the information
he wasn't getting from Marta from her son.
I'll tell you what.
I got... I got a deal for you, partner.
I'll give you what you want...
if you give me what I want.
Tell me everything
you know about... "Hermano."
-? Hermano?
- Does your mother love "Hermano?"
Si, mi hermano.
- He's here?
- Shh. He's sleeping.
- Don't go in there.
- Why? Is there something
you don't want me to see?
- What are you talking about?
- We can keep going around in circles...
but maybe one of us should just come out
and say what it is we want to say.
You're right.
- It's not working with Gob.
- Why doesn't he know that?
You know you could have
just come out and told him...
you know, instead of lying and sneaking
around, moving on to the next guy.
I didn't think you were that kind of a person.
I thought you and I shared the same values.
I thought you and I
could've been, uh...
No, forget it. Eh... I don't know
how I had you so wrong.
You're right.
I should have told him
before I invited you here.
This can never be.
Then he noticed the gift he had seen her buy.
- What does "te amo" mean?
- I love you.
Hmm.
And who's in there?
Mi hermano.
Brother.
I've made a huge mistake.
On the next
Arrested Development.
George Michael
begins an investigation.
So, you wanna go
to the movies? Ow!
I'll let you know when I get back
from the lab.
Tobias faces his greatest
acting challenge.
There's a shower scene?
I have to be nude.
Well, you don't shower
with your clothes on, now, do ya?
And Buster rebounds
from Lucille 2.
- Yo te quiero mucho.
- Yo te quiero mucho.
Te amo, Marta.
Te amo.
who lost everything...
and the one son
who had no choice...
but to keep them all together.
It's Arrested Development.
It was
Michael's sister's anniversary.
- Hi.
He'd convinced his mother
to throw a party for her.
Lindsay, how's this for
an anniversary cake?
Anniversary? You asked me
to throw a Valentine's Day party.
- Did I?
- You tricked me.
I deceived you, Mom. Tricked makes
it sound like we have a playful relationship.
Touch?. Lupe, untie the balloons!
Michael, all alone
on Valentine's Day?
How's that possible?
You seem like such a romantic to me.
l- l-I can just see you showing up
on some lucky girl's porch...
in a tuxedo
with a bottle of champagne.
Yeah. Well, if I show up
with all that stuff...
I could probably just get away
with shorts and a T-shirt, right?
Which is good
'cause I don't even have a tuxedo.
So you're saying there's no one
you're even interested in?
In fact,
Michael had become enamored of Marta...
when Gob was having second thoughts
about the relationship.
- I've made a huge mistake.
- But when Gob recommitted to her...
- I've made a huge mistake.
- Michael decided to do the
noble thing and let her go.
There was somebody for a while,
but it was too much of a brother... bother.
That can't feel good.
It's fine. I'm over it.
I'm okay by myself, you know?
I really just want to focus
on my family's happiness.
That's why I threw this party.
I mean, 14 years, huh?
You've got to be doing
somethin' right.
Well, if you call not filing
for divorce "something right."
- But I guess we keep it interesting.
- Where's Tobias?
He's on the balcony having margaritas
with Carl Weathers.
Tobias had recently
hired actor Carl Weathers as a drama coach.
Do you see me more as
the respected dramatic actor...
or more the beloved comic actor?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
There's still plenty of meat on that bone.
You take this home, throw it in a pot.
Add some broth, a potato...
Baby, you got a stew goin'.
Yes, that's fine. But I would like to focus
on my acting, Mr. Weathers.
I did give you my last $1,100.
Let me tell you a little story
about acting.
I was doing this Showtime movie,
Hot Ice, with Anne Archer.
Never once touched my per diem.
I go to craft service, get some raw veggies,
bacon, cup of soup...
Baby, I had a stew goin'.
I think I'd like my money back.
Like his father, George Michael
had been nursing an impossible crush.
It was on his cousin, Maeby.
And with no one to talk to,
he was looking for some kind of direction.
just give me a sign.
First one's obvious. Okay.
He continued to look for a sign.
- Until finally...
- "Maybe tonight."
What are the chances?
Actually, "Maybe Tonight"
was a very popular candy slogan...
and the chances were one in eight.
- What are you doin'?
- Just tryin' to throw stuff at my dad's head...
- but the wind keeps taking it.
- Oh, cool.
So, I, uh... I found this.
I thought it was like a one-in-a-million thing.
It just made me think of you.
- Oh, perfect.
- Trying to make my relation...
- I saw that.
- And Lucille...
found a way to force a wedge
into her son's relationship.
Lucille, guess who's coming to dinner?
I've invited Carl
to dine with us next Tuesday.
Mother, you know
I have class on Tuesday.
Oh, how silly of me.
Well, then perhaps the two of you
can have dinner alone.
Oh, well, I never say no to dinner,
with a beautiful lady that is.
- Do you like ham?
- No. I love it.
And the family gathered to watch a videotape...
George Sr. had sent Lindsay and Tobias
for their anniversary.
Hello, I'm George Bluth...
and for the next 45 minutes...
let me take you on a journey...
Good grief. He sent us
one of his idiot videotapes.
First this...
- You've seen
George Bluth on videotape.
You have got to learn
to be alone.
I cheated and I lied.
And I whored around.
Caged Wisdom changed my life.
Now is your chance to own
the entire George Bluth Caged Wisdom library...
for only four payments of 19.95.
- This was supposed to be my anniversary toast.
- Yeah.
And this was supposed to be
my Valentine's Day party.
Speaking of which...
Lupe, where are those balloons?
You want balloons?
Speech, speech, speech...
{Joining In]
Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech...
speech, speech, speech speech...
- Come on, speech.
- Speech, speech, speech, speech...
The family continued
to chant, "Speech, speech, speech'...
for no one in particular.
- Speech, speech...
- All right.
Speech.
After all that, I was kinda hoping
somebody would make a speech.
- Speech, speech, speech...
- All right, all right, all right. I'll say something.
- Typical.
- We've all had a tough couple of months.
I think we're all really
figuring out who we are...
and what we really need in life.
And that can be painful.
However, you can't really heal yourself
until you stop living a lie, you know.
But, uh, l-I promise that we're all
gonna be a lot happier in the long run.
So, on a very unusual
Valentine's Day...
cheers to Mom and Dad,
to Buster and Lucille...
- Don't forget my girlfriend.
- That's who I meant.
- Don't forget my girlfriend.
- That's who I meant.
To Lindsay and Tobias,
to George Michael and...
I almost said George Michael and Maeby.
- Oh.
- Um, to Gob and Marta.
- Mmm.
- To love and happiness.
I love you all, Marta.
And Marta realized it was Michael, not Gob...
who had everything
she had been looking for in a man.
I made a huge mistake.
I was thinking about that toast
you gave at my anniversary party.
- So, I want to get a divorce.
- What?
Do you think I should use our attorney, Barry,
or just kind of bolt in the night?
I'm leaning toward bolt
in the night, but...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lindsay,
I wasn't talking about getting a divorce.
Oh, Michael.
It's time.
The man's psychologically incapable
of taking all of his clothes off.
In fact,
Tobias was a never-nude.
As of yet, the D.S.M. -IV
has not acknowledged the affliction.
I don't know, Lindsay.
I mean, who am I to judge?
On the other hand,
I am doing it anyway...
so let me suggest before you talk divorce,
at least consider a separation.
- You know, you do have a kid.
- I know.
I was gonna take her with me in the night.
She's part of the bolt.
Lindsay.
All right. I'll think about it.
- Hello?
- Hey, brother.
I just want to tell you how much
I enjoyed your speech yesterday.
You know, about family and...
and being true to ourselves.
Oh, well, I'm...
I'm glad it made an impact.
Yeah. I never want
to look at Mom again.
What happened?
Well, I can't really talk.
She might be listening in.
Do you know she tried to set up
my girlfriend with a man?
This has to stop.
You know, that's not really
what I was going for.
I'm a man, Mike!
I'm a man.
Can I throw out this yogurt?
Buster, two things.
First of all, I think it might be time
for you to move out, you know?
Secondly, you don't want to take any chances
with yogurt, Mom. Just let her throw it out.
- He-Hello? Who's on this phone?
- Hey. Huh?
- Michael?
- Hey.
- Great speech last night.
- Oh, really? What did it inspire
you to do, kill somebody?
Getting there.
Marta's cheating on me.
- What?
- Yeah, can you believe that?
That's crazy, Gob. She's not a cheater.
If she were to cheat, I'd like to think she'd cheat...
- You're the cheater.
- That's how I know all the signs.
Last night she was all distant and weird.
Wouldn't let me make love to her
on Mom's bed.
I don't even want to tell you
what she wouldn't let me do to her in the car.
And then today, I overhear her talking on
the phone about somebody all super silently.
All in Spanish.
In fact, Marta was on the phone
with her mother talking about Michael.
Hermano.
She kept using this guy's name,
like, "Hermano."
Let me tell you something. We're gonna track
this "Hermano" down, and we're gonna nail him.
'Cause if anyone's gonna go out with that girl,
it's gonna be one of us.
- Right. Me.
- And I'm okay with that.
I don't get it.
Why do we have to change rooms?
Cousins of the opposite gender
shouldn't be sharing a room.
But that's just the point. I mean, we're cousins.
Gender has nothing to do with it.
I mean, cousins can bunk together.
That's why they call it "bunkin' cousins."
- "Kissin' cousins."
- We're not kissing! That's the point!
George Michael was concerned
that Tobias had seen the candy heart...
that said "Maybe Tonight"and had figured out
that he had a crush on his cousin.
Besides, I don't even care. You said share
a room with her, I shared a room with her.
Now you're saying don't share a room
with her. Fine. I'm just doing whatever you say.
You know, the adults making all the decisions
around here. Why am I in trouble?
You're not in trouble. We're all just gonna have
a more normal arrangement.
I'm gonna sleep with my daughter,
and you're gonna sleep with my husband.
Buster had taken Michael's advice
and decided to confront his mother.
"Because you know I don't
appreciate how you treat me.
I am not a child, Mother."
Blow.
No, Mother!
I can blow myself.
And you have interfered
for the last time.
Fine. Go! Move out.
So, Buster loaded up his possessions...
and emancipated himself
from his mother.
Oh, hey, Buster.
I thought you had class.
I thought you had class.
My brother-in-law fires you...
- and you move in on my girlfriend?
- Come on now. Wait a minute.
This is purely a social call. You know,
just two adults gettin' a stew on, man.
I don't know what that means,
but it sounds disgusting.
Hey, Buster.
Gee, I thought you had class.
I thought you had class!
I want to move in with you.
I'm tired of my mom
trying to control me.
Wait a minute. Are you sure you're doing this
because you want to be with me...
- and not because you want
to get even with your mother?
- This isn't about my mother.
Besides, it's the only way
I'm ever gonna get her to respect me.
Buster, this is exactly why
our relationship does not work.
- Our relationship doesn't work?
- Not as long as you keep getting
me mixed up with your mother.
It is exactly the opposite.
I'm leaving my mother for you.
You're replacing my mother.
You need some time.
Huh?
Meanwhile, Michael was
following Marta to confirm...
Gob's suspicions about her affair.
First, he saw her buy a present
at an exclusive men's store.
The trail then led Michael to the set
of Marta's Spanish language soap opera.
Excuse me. I'm looking for "Hermano."
-? Mi hermano? Ahi.
- Mmm.
- There, in the green? Great, thanks. Gracias.
- Mm-hmm.
"Hermano."
- Are you "Hermano"?
-? Mi hermano?
Es ahi.
- That's the guy who just...
- Mm-hmm.
Son of a bitch.
Hey.
Marta.
I had to see you.
He moved out.
Moved out? Buster did?
- I know it's for his own good, but I'm worried.
- He's gonna be fine.
I'm not worried about him.
I've never lived
in the apartment alone.
- I'm not sure I'm up to this.
- All right. Shh, shh, shh.
Listen. I know you think
I'm going after the $49...
but I want... I want you to watch
a little Caged Wisdom.
- Not this garbage again.
- There is joy in solitude, Lucille.
Try being alone.
l-l-It just might make you happier.
Honey, my happiest times here
are alone.
Hey, Bruno, any chance that the hole
is available between 4:00 and 6:00?
I don't even want to know
what that means.
With nowhere else to go,
Buster arrived at the model home.
- Buster Bluth.
- Hey, Brother-in-law.
Good news.
Carl got me an audition.
- Carl Weathers?
- I think the world is about to fall in love...
with "Frightened Inmate #2."
Well, at least he gave you something.
Carl Weathers took everything from me.
My entire life just came crashing down,
and it's all his fault.
I will never love again.
- Hello.
- Oh, my God.
- Is everything okay?
- And suddenly...
Buster realized Marta was
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
I've been dating an old lady.
Is Michael here?
- l-I don't... I don't know where he is.
- In fact...
Michael was just returning
from his day of following Marta.
Well, I lost her.
- Michael.
- Marta.
- I'm so glad I caught you.
- You caught me?
- Yes.
- Oh.
First of all, thank you so much
for the lovely party...
and for making me feel
so welcome in your family.
- Yeah, sure.
- We love you!
Can l... Can I stay here
for a little while?
Everybody's already sharing
a bedroom but me, Buster.
Oh, perfect.
So, I was hoping you might
have some time to talk.
There's something I need...
- Maybe we could have dinner?
- Hello.
She's at the house.
She's at the house!
- One second.
- I'm gonna speak very carefully
in case she's with you.
- You're right.
- Right about what? She's there?
What's going on? Who's with you?
If it's Marta, say "nobody."
- Nobody.
- Well, now I don't know what's going on.
So, did you find out anything?
l-I'm dying here, Michael.
- D-Did you find that guy? What's his name?
- "Hermano."
- "Hermano."
- Is that your brother?
Hmm? No. He's upstairs, remember?
Listen, I gotta go. Somebody wants
to take me out to dinner.
- Somebody?
- Nobody.
- Why don't I just come in? I'm right outside.
- No, no. Not... Not a good idea.
Somebody wants to talk to me
about something.
Ah, she wants
to talk to you. Got it.
For some reason
women feel safe around you.
Maybe because you've only
had sex four times.
Four women! Not four times!
And they talk to me because I talk to them.
Look, go to dinner. Let's get to
the bottom of this "Hermano" stuff, brother.
- Yep. Great.
- Great.
Hey, about dinner,
I'd love to.
Tobias arrived at his audition
for "Frightened Inmate #2."
The competition frightened Tobias,
which he felt he could use in his performance.
Unfortunately this made him
more confident...
which frightened him again.
I'm ready.
That night, Maeby moved in to Lindsay's room.
Isn't this fun?
It's like a slumber party.
Hmm.
That's it! Tell me what's up
with you and Dad.
Nothing. Nothing's wrong
with your father and me.
We have a... a wonderful,
close relationship.
Can I let you in
on a little secret?
Hmm? Having him in the next room
makes me miss him all the more.
Mom, please. He's got a big-boy crush
on Action Jackson.
I know. How can I compete with that?
Okay. We're having
a little fight right now.
But don't worry, darling. Okay?
Mommy and Daddy
aren't going anywhere.
Okay. I'm gonna go
unpack my suitcase.
No! We may have to bolt.
Tobias moved in to George Michael's room.
Maeby and I were cool with each other.
And you must miss your wife.
It's practically still
your anniversary.
Fourteen years of lies.
Yes, I'm the doctor.
The perfect husband.
The big manly man.
The big strong daddy.
Do you know the last time
that I made love to my wife?
- No.
- I'll tell you when.
- No, don't.
- See, nothing has ever been easy for us.
I mean, the only reason she went out with me
was to piss offher boyfriend.
The only reason she ever married me
was to piss off her mother.
And then, of course, we couldn't conceive.
So there was that famous ordeal.
Wh-What do you mean you couldn't
conceive? Was Maeby adopted?
What? Is she not really related to me?
Is she just some girl I know?
Ah, it's Carl Weathers.
Yes, Carl Weathers.
I did? That's... That's wonderful.
That's...
Huh! I booked it!
I booked the acting job!
Did you hear that, Lindsay? You could have been
sleeping with "Frightened Inmate #2."
And Lucille was experiencing
being alone for the first time.
Unable to sleep,
she decided to watch TV.
You have got to learn to be alone.
Then she remembered
that with no one to disturb...
she could turn up the volume
as loud as she wanted.
Caged Wisdom teaches you
that you have to find thejoy within yourself.
And that's when Lucille realized...
that shejust might like being alone after all.
The next night,
Michael had dinner with Marta at her house...
hoping to finally get
the answers he was looking for.
So, um, about Gob.
How's that goin'?
Well, as you said...
finding out who you really are,
it can be painful.
- But you can't live a lie.
- No, I can't.
But some people find a way
to make that work.
Yes, but sometimes
working at something...
it's a way to not deal
with some other thing.
But he who often suggests...
uh, working on another thing...
- which when the first thing is not...
- Will you excuse me for a moment?
Yes. Sure.
- What the hell is he talking about?
- What is she talking about?
- Can I have a piece of cake?
- And Michael saw an opportunity...
to get the information
he wasn't getting from Marta from her son.
I'll tell you what.
I got... I got a deal for you, partner.
I'll give you what you want...
if you give me what I want.
Tell me everything
you know about... "Hermano."
-? Hermano?
- Does your mother love "Hermano?"
Si, mi hermano.
- He's here?
- Shh. He's sleeping.
- Don't go in there.
- Why? Is there something
you don't want me to see?
- What are you talking about?
- We can keep going around in circles...
but maybe one of us should just come out
and say what it is we want to say.
You're right.
- It's not working with Gob.
- Why doesn't he know that?
You know you could have
just come out and told him...
you know, instead of lying and sneaking
around, moving on to the next guy.
I didn't think you were that kind of a person.
I thought you and I shared the same values.
I thought you and I
could've been, uh...
No, forget it. Eh... I don't know
how I had you so wrong.
You're right.
I should have told him
before I invited you here.
This can never be.
Then he noticed the gift he had seen her buy.
- What does "te amo" mean?
- I love you.
Hmm.
And who's in there?
Mi hermano.
Brother.
I've made a huge mistake.
On the next
Arrested Development.
George Michael
begins an investigation.
So, you wanna go
to the movies? Ow!
I'll let you know when I get back
from the lab.
Tobias faces his greatest
acting challenge.
There's a shower scene?
I have to be nude.
Well, you don't shower
with your clothes on, now, do ya?
And Buster rebounds
from Lucille 2.
- Yo te quiero mucho.
- Yo te quiero mucho.
Te amo, Marta.
Te amo.