Army Wives (2007–2013): Season 1, Episode 1 - A Tribe Is Born - full transcript

I ain't in the mood
for a game of grab ass, cowboy.

You hear me?

- Put it on my tab.
- On your tab.

Hey, Rox.

Hey there, handsome.
I thought your leave was over.

It was.

But then I got to thinking
once I got back on post.

Roxy?

- Thinking, huh?
- I know.

Did you know it takes exactly
seven hours and 58 minutes

to drive
from Charleston to Tuscaloosa?



Does it, now?

Jake! Paws off the tap!

Roxy?

You work two jobs, right?

And you got two kids
from two different men.

Now, I know
I only met you four days ago,

but I think you're my soul mate.

Hey, Roxy.
- Not now.

I decided I want you to marry me.

- Well, are you asking me?
- Yes.

Then ask me.

Roxy, will you marry me?

Move it here.

You guys see that right over there?
Both of you?



This is it, baby. This is our new home.

Come here.

Hi.

Darn it.

It's a chit
for letting the lawn grow too high.

- We haven't even moved in yet.
- I know.

They got strict rules around here.

Hell, where I'm from,
the lawn's for car parts.

Look, I'm sorry,
but this is all we're gonna get for now.

But I promise you, it's...

This is more
than we have ever had. Okay?

Yeah?

Thank you.

Claudia Joy Holden,

after 17 years of marriage,

my heart still skips a beat
every time I look at you.

Michael James Holden,

after 17 years of marriage,

I can't believe
that tired old line of yours still works.

Tell me.

That promotion should be
yours tonight, not Colonel Baker's.

Promotions are all about politics,
Claudia, you know that.

They played a better game
and they won.

They cheated.

That is not playing a better game.
That's...

That's cheating.

There will be other opportunities.

All right. I don't like it.

You know, you could make one
that vibrates.

Give us a little something
to look forward to.

Don't think
you're the first one to suggest it.

Everything looks good.

The babies are measuring
right on target.

Do you want to know gender?

No. Just give me two copies, please.

See you next week.

I'll bring the wine.

Ten minutes late for curfew.

Sorry, sir.
It won't happen again.

That's not good enough, son.

You made a commitment to be home
by 1800 hours.

You keep your word.

You stand up when I'm talking to you.

Jeremy, you are 17 years old.
It is time to be a man.

Keep your commitments
or you will never become an officer.

You're dismissed.

You're leaving tomorrow
and it's hard on him.

Obeying you now and then
listening to me when you're gone...

Well, just don't coddle him.

You're just gonna get him killed
somewhere down the line.

Soldiers, please rise for a toast
to the President of the United States.

Hey, what are you doing?

- I'm looking for the President.
- Baby, he's not coming.

To the President of the United States!

- To the President.
- To the President.

The President of the United States has
reposed special trust and confidence

in the abilities
of Colonel Theodore H. Baker.

He is therefore promoted
to the rank of brigadier general.

How'd you shoot today?

I cleaned up to 600 yards,
but then I pulled a few after that.

Good, but I'm not sure
if it was good enough.

I told you, honey. You got to loosen up.

You tend to lock your forearm.
It throws off your aim.

Okay, I know.
Can you not do that here, please?

I had an ultrasound today.
- I know.

You could show up to one of them.

Let's not talk about that right now.

I'm just saying it looks funny,
you know?

- My husband never being there.
- I have to train, Pamela. I can't do both.

At ease. Both of you.

I wasn't supposed to do that. Was I?

- No, ma'am.
- I'm Roxy. His wife.

Mrs. LeBlanc. Major Sherwood.

Now rumor has it you want to be
a paratrooper. Is that correct, soldier?

- It is, sir.
- Rumors have a way of coming true.

You start training tomorrow morning
at 0600.

- Enjoy your evening. Both of you.
- You, too, sir.

Well, if I didn't just serve up
toe jam on an idiot cracker.

Don't worry about it, honey.
You didn't know.

Did you hear what he just said?

I start my paratrooper training
tomorrow at 0600!

I didn't even know Major Sherwood
knew who I was. Now, come on.

Damn it to hell.

He's going to be wondering
where we are.

Frank's leaving tomorrow, isn't he?

Three months. The Middle East.

- I know. I'm sorry.
- Thanks.

- What?
- Nothing.

- Denise. Someone hurt you?
- No. Of course not. It's just a bruise.

This is more than just a bruise.

It's nothing. Really.
I was a nurse, remember?

You were in nursing school
and that was 18 years ago.

What's going on here?

No need for tears, ladies.
Got it at the Goodwill.

Mrs. Holden, Mrs. Sherwood.

It looks like I got here
just in time for the 8:00 show.

Hey. He hits you once, hit him back.

Hits you a second time,
shoot him in the balls.

Okay, the men's room?
It's downright boring.

- It's Mrs. Baker, isn't it?
- Oh, Lenore, please.

Lenore, I realize
we don't know each other very well,

but you spread a rumor
that my husband, Michael Holden,

is a racist.

My husband lost his promotion to yours
because of it.

Sweetheart, you've made a mistake.

Please think of something you can do
to make it better.

Claudia Joy, what did you just say
to the Brigadier General's wife?

You would never stand

for someone spreading a lie
to get a promotion, Michael James.

And neither will I.

You know there'll be consequences,
don't you?

I can handle Lenore Baker.
Let's go get some pie.

When are they due, honey?

It's Pamela.
About another month and a half.

- Do you know their sexes?
- We don't want to say.

- Come on now. We won't tell anyone.
- Excuse me, Marilyn.

I never liked her.

She always acts
like she's better than the rest of us.

Well, I heard she's dealing Percocet.

Is that how they got that new truck?

Did you know that gossip,

because it enhances
our understanding of human nature,

was once considered a virtue?

Enhances our understanding?
What are you, a shrink?

I am. It's a nice call.

So, you're not military?

Oh, no. My wife Joan is.
She's a lieutenant colonel.

- Is that good?
- It's very good.

How you holding up, Burton?
Two years is a long time to be gone.

- It is. A lot of things have changed.
- Yeah.

They had me fill out
a post-deployment checklist.

We call those the
"Don't Kill Your Spouse" questionnaire.

They started after Desert Storm.

You know to...
All those domestic violence cases.

- Can I ask you something?
- You bet.

How long before
everything feels normal again?

It never does. Not really.

Joan? The place is clearing out.
Ready to go?

- Of course. Good evening, Holden.
- Burton.

My first jump was at night.

Free-falling 120 miles per hour.

And, man, it was so loud.

You couldn't even hear
your own thoughts.

And then my parachute
whips open, right?

And suddenly it was so quiet

and I'm floating down
and I'm thinking to myself,

"Man, what a great ride my life is. "

And, Rox, the best part about this is,
they're paying me to jump now.

Private First Class Trevor LeBlanc

starts paratrooper training
tomorrow morning 0600.

Yep.

Why don't you jump on in here,
big boy?

See if you can open my parachute.

- Maybe I will.
- Maybe you will.

Maybe I will.

Mom? Mom?

Finn's throwing up.

I'm sorry, hon. It's crazy in here.

Doing everything possible.

Please, as soon as you can.
My boy's real sick.

Yes, ma'am. We will.

Another US helicopter
was shot down last night

killing all eight American soldiers
on board.

The soldiers from the 23rd Air Borne
Division located at Fort Marshall

were responding to the deaths of
four American soldiers by mortar fire

that occurred the day before.

Hey, baby.

Why don't you go home
and get some sleep?

Are you sure?

If you have to jump out of a perfectly
good airplane in a couple of hours,

I want one of us to be awake.

Okay.

The C- 17 military transport aircraft

carrying the bodies
of 14 American soldiers

killed in action in Afghanistan

landed today in an American
military base in Germany.

The soldiers were killed by
a rocket-propelled grenade launched...

- Joyce. Hi. Good morning.
- Good morning.

My daughter needs a physical before
her cheerleading practice today.

Now I hate to put you in this position,

can you possibly fit her in
before school starts?

Of course, Claudia Joy. I'd be happy to.

Great. I appreciate it.

Mary,
can you take them back...

Excuse me. Hi.

Hi.

It's me. From last night in the restroom.
Thong?

Of course. Good morning.

Good morning. Yeah.

I was wondering
if you could help me with something.

See, I'm the new girl around here

and I don't have
my Army Wives Decoder Ring yet

to sweet-talk my way through
those magic blue doors.

Although I definitely
don't want your daughter

to miss a single "go-fight-win,"

we've been here since 4:00
in the morning

and my boy just threw up
on The Rolling Stones here

for the third time

and I was wondering
if you could tell me who I have to...

Who I have to get busy with
around here to see a doctor?

What's your name?

Roxy. Roxy LeBlanc.

Joyce, would you please
allow Mrs. LeBlanc and her son

to take our place?

- Mrs. LeBlanc, you can go right on in.
- Thank you.

- But, Mom, I need to...
- Emmalin, sit down.

Come on, honey.

This way. Hurry. Come on, come on.

I used to be a cop.
Like my dad, my brothers.

But I married Chase, and soldiers
don't like their wives to work, so I quit.

- How did you feel about that?
- I hated it at first.

I was a good cop.
Plus we went into debt.

So when things got really bad,
I became a surrogate.

The plan is to say that the babies died
after we give them to their real parents.

But how do I just lie to everyone?

Even my kids.

Maybe you should tell everyone
the truth.

I can't.

They'd ruin Chase if they found out.

Pamela.

Ask her.

Pamela Moran.
Can I have a word with you?

Sorry, I'm all out of Percocet.

- But I got some Vicodin in the truck.
- Drugs. I knew it.

- Is that how you seduced our chaplain?
- What the hell, Marilyn?

You know me. We made brownies
all year together for the PTA.

Does seducing the chaplain
sound like something that I would do?

Oh, I think we all know
what you would do, Pamela.

The question is, what would Jesus do?

Why, he would smack you
across the face.

All right, Jeremy, I'm gonna be
checking my e-mail every chance I get,

so you let me know about West Point
when we get word, all right?

Yes, sir.
- All right now.

You're the man of the house
while I'm gone.

Dad, I've been the man of the house
since I was seven.

All right. Well, I expect you to act like it,
all right?

Now, don't disappoint me.

Hey, D.

- I get teased about these, you know.
- I know.

But that all stopped
when I actually read one out loud.

Now all the soldiers
want love notes from their wives.

Your medication's in your bag.
Left side pocket.

Twice a day.
There's some gum in there.

And batteries, too, because they
never give you enough batteries.

No fear, all right? It's bad luck.

- Get them on the buses.
- Yes, sir. Head out.

Come on. Let's go.

No, wait, Jeremy.
Let's watch his bus leave.

He's gone. Let's go.

What's this?

- It's a TV set, Mommy.
- I know it's a TV set, Katie.

What I want to know is
why is it on my wall?

Well, it's a present.

- It's the Ferrari of plasma TV's, Mom.
- It plays HD.

And it's ours because why?

Because Daddy's
in Delta Force!

Wow.

I unlocked my forearm like you told me
and I made the killer shot.

Seven hundred and eighty yards.

Okay, Mommy needs to talk to Daddy
for a minute,

so go to your rooms and play, okay?

What is it?

We can't keep spending like this.

We haven't even
paid my father back yet.

Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm in.

- Can't you be happy for me for once?
- Sorry. I am. I'm so proud of you.

It's huge. But still,
we can't be buying plasma TV's.

Plus how does that look?

Besides, I want to talk
about a new plan.

Look, we had an agreement, Pamela.

- An agreement?
- An agreement.

And now you're trying to change things

because you're having
some kind of moral dilemma?

Don't mess this up for me.

I mean it.

You know, you've taken on a lot here.

The black fact is we're broke.

I need to do my part. Get a job.

Now I told you
I was gonna take care of you.

- Now, come on. D-Fac.
- Factory?

- Mess hall.
- Right.

Well, how do you get
mess hall out of that, T. J?

Dining. Fac: Facility.
Equals mess hall.

- ACU?
- Does everything have to be in initials?

They're called acronyms, Mom.

Watch that tongue.

Well, you might as well answer,
Toby Jack.

- Army combat uniform.
- What's a Jody?

A Jody is a bad guy

who hooks up with all the mommies
when the daddies are at war.

- No!
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Two words: E. Nuff.

Did you see this?
It's an invitation to an afternoon tea.

I don't wear white gloves
and I don't take tea.

I'm never going to fit in here, Trevor.

We fit, Rox. That's all that matters.

I can't even iron your shirt.

Well, you have to go slow. Ease into it.

Oh, I get it. You're going to show me
how to do it, huh?

I'm going to get rid of them.

Then we're gonna iron some more.

Let me go get that. Just put this on.

Hey! We're the welcoming committee.

We don't have fruitcakes,
but we do have ladies' night.

I'm Candace
and this here's Jamie Lynn.

- Hi there!
- Hi. I'm Roxy.

Hey. Well, grab your purse! Come on!

Thank y'all for coming around,

but I've got my husband and my kids,
so I can't really go...

Rox.

Go. I got them.

You need to go make friends.
Especially when I'm gone. Go on.

- Okay. Just give me a...
- Cool.

Why'd we leave the base?

Post, honey.
Navy, Marines, they have bases.

Army has posts. And we've got
much better pickings off-post.

My eyes like what they see.

I thought you were married.

I am. I'm just not a fanatic about it.

Her man's been gone
for over a year now.

So y'all come here to hook up?

Rubber and batteries
only last you so long.

Wow.

- Where you going?
- I think I belong behind the bar.

Oh, you can't work in a Jody bar.
No soldier's gonna go for that.

How are you gonna keep a marriage?

I keep it just fine.
I'm kind of a fanatic about it.

I'd like an application.

- What's a big hot hooter?
- Do you mind?

Big hot hooter. One ounce tequila,
three-fourths ounce amaretto.

Fill it up with pineapple juice,
top it off with grenadine.

And every hooter needs a nipple,

so, of course,
don't forget your cherry on top.

- Big hot hooter.
- Are you a drinker?

Don't worry. Alcoholics,
like blue eyes, run in my family.

I'm just lucky I skipped that gene.

Jeremy?

It's from West Point.

- I got in.
- That is great, honey.

Wait a minute.

Did Dad have anything to do with this?

- No. I don't think so.
- Wait, you don't think so?

You did this on your own, Jeremy.

He may have made a call,
but in the end it's all you.

He may have made a call. I knew it.

I chose West Point
because he didn't go there.

I wanted to do one thing by myself.
But, no.

- Honey.
- Now everyone will know

the only reason I got in is because
I'm Major Frank Sherwood's son.

Jeremy.

- Jeremy, why do you keep doing this?
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

If your father knew
what you were doing...

Yeah, but you know what?
You're not gonna tell him.

Because that would just
ruin your image

of being
the perfect little wife and mother.

When did it start?
- About six months ago.

Every time Frank would leave
or was about to return,

there was something.

Only this week, it started before he left.

Has Frank ever hit you?

Oh, God, no.
He would never hit a woman.

- Why didn't you tell Frank about it?
- I didn't want to upset him.

Denise, listen.
I hope you're not blaming yourself.

It is not your fault.

How could I not blame myself?

I mean, sometimes I think,
how did I even get here?

I raised a son
who hurts his own mother.

Yo, pace yourself.

Hey, how you doing?
- Not interested.

Ma'am.

I'd offer you a refill,
but you being a soldier and all...

How'd you know that?

Nobody calls me "ma'am" except
soldiers and boys looking to get laid.

I need another drink.

Okay.

So you just get back or shipping out?

Just got back from Afghanistan.

Must have been tough
you being a female soldier and all.

I'm a lieutenant colonel.

I have over 400 men in my command.

Wow.

You must have seen quite a lot then.

You got into West Point.
You should be excited.

But I'm not.

I thought I wanted this,
but the more I think about it...

Don't you ever feel like your whole life
is about the military?

You know, 0800 hours, curfews.

- Oh, yeah, "Did Dad die today?"
- Yeah.

Sometimes I feel like my dad's
just some guy I see in a video.

- Exactly.
- Gentlemen. Ladies.

- Oh, my God. It's my dad.
- Emmalin, get in the car, please.

I'll be there in a minute.

- Jeremy, can I speak to you privately?
- Yes, sir.

Congratulations on getting
into West Point.

- Thank you, sir.
- Happy to call on your behalf.

Thank you, sir.

I wouldn't have done that
if I knew you were hitting your mother.

It's unfortunate that your father
isn't here to handle this himself.

The military has a code of honor,
Jeremy, and it's non-negotiable.

You do not hit women.

If it happens again, I won't warn you.

I will find you and I will treat you like
any other adult man who hit a woman.

- Do you understand me?
- Yes, sir.

Good.

Yeah!

Move it. Move it. Watch out.

All right. You need to get down.
Let's go.

Okay. Okay. Come on. Turn around.

- All right.
- Okay. Okay. All right. Go.

Excuse me. Someone called
about my wife?

You're Roland? Joan's husband?

Yes. And you're a bartender
in a Jody bar.

Yeah. Good to see you again.

- She's back there.
- Thank you.

Joan?

Wake up.

Come on.

Come on.

What I did over there.

If you knew, you wouldn't love me.

I don't care what you did.
It doesn't matter to me.

I know who you are.

I know who you are.

Supporting our troops
really is a great cause.

Anyway, it's good to see you.

Thank you. Enjoy. Okay.
Talk to you later. Okay.

I just can't thank you enough...

- Hi.
... for inviting me.

I know this is a fundraiser

and that's the only reason
all the rest of us are invited

to one of your famous tea parties,
but whatever.

I can't believe
I'm meeting Claudia Joy Holden!

Oh, don't be silly.
What's your name again, hon?

Marilyn. And this is Angie.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm married to a sergeant
in the 23rd Division.

Thank you so much for inviting me.

Absolutely. Excellent.

- Enjoy.
- Okay.

These little teas are always
such a good boost for our egos,

aren't they, sweetheart?

I'm so glad you came, Lenore.

Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

Not after all
I've been learning about you.

Born to upper-class parents, about to
graduate Harvard Law with honors,

until you suddenly dropped out.

Now why would you do that?

- Waylaid by love, of course.
- How quaint.

I look forward to learning more.

- Denise. Thank God you're here.
- Honey.

- You invited Lenore Baker?
- I know.

- Okay.
- Glad you came.

Well, I had to show off my new look.
Thank you

- for what you and Michael did.
- Of course. Whatever you need.

How's it going with Jeremy?

He's not speaking to me,
but no new incidents so far.

Hey, guys.

- Hey, Roland.
- Hi.

You're such a good sport to show up
to these "wives only" tea parties.

Well, being surrounded by women
isn't all that bad.

How's Joan?

Sometimes it can be hard for them
when they come back.

We're still just getting reacquainted,
you know?

Oh, my. Oh, my God.

- Well, if you'll excuse me?
- Okay.

Roxy. Hi. Welcome to my home.

Thank you, but I can't stay.
I have to be at work in half an hour.

It's okay. Come say hi for a minute.

They're going to be talking
about my outfit for weeks, aren't they?

- Well, yes, they are.
- Hey, Roland.

- Roxy.
- Denise Sherwood.

You met at the promotion ceremony.

Somebody better be
missing their balls.

Pamela Moran. I want you to meet her.

Pamela.

Here's a gal I think you should meet.
This is Roxy LeBlanc.

She and her husband have children
about the same age as yours,

so talk it up.

- Thank you.
Of course.

You're sitting next to the Antichrist.
You're going to hell by association.

Oh, I reckon
I got you beat on the hell front.

Last week I was a drug dealer

and this week
I'm carrying the chaplain's kids.

- You think you can top that?
- I can try.

My kids aren't my husband's.

I was married to the first one's daddy
until he sucker-punched me.

The second one's dad
was just a friend,

he came over to comfort me one night.

I've known Trevor, my husband,
for all of 17 days now.

- How did I do?
- I'm impressed.

- What is it?
- I think it's the scones.

- Okay, your water broke, baby.
- Yeah, you think?

Okay, we got to call your husband.

No, we can't.
He's in training at Delta Force.

You're gonna deliver.

Look, I'm in a bit of a mess.
These aren't my kids.

I'm a paid surrogate.

We can't go to the post hospital,
everybody's gonna gossip.

- You got to get me out of here.
- Okay. Okay. Okay. Stay here.

I'll be right back.

I'll show you when I get a second,
maybe later on today.

I need you. Now.

Gorgeous, steam shower
with some blue and cream tile.

You're dilated about four centimeters.

Oh, my.

- Where's the nearest hospital, off-post?
- Off-post?

- St. Luke's.
- But that's about 40 minutes away.

Then let's go.

Roland!

- We need a ride. Open the door.
- Yeah.

You in? Okay.

- Who is that?
- He's a shrink. It's a doctor.

And he has a big car.

Hi. I'm Roland. Where to?

We're going to St. Luke's.

It looks like we got more women
getting into my car.

Let's go. We've got babies to deliver.

Relax.

- I know. Just try, okay?
We're with you.

Oh, mother...

She's about to crown.
We are not gonna make it to St. Luke's.

Don't push, Pamela. Do not.

I can't have these babies
in the backseat of a car!

I am not 15
and working at a Dairy Queen.

Hey, Roland, see that fireworks sign?

Pull in right after it.

In a bar?
I'm giving birth in a bar.

It's better than
a Dairy Queen, baby. Everybody out.

Let's get her up.
Come on. Let's go.

I got her.

Keep breathing. Keep breathing.

This is not how I imagined this day.

But here we are, sweetheart.

All right, and push.

Two, three, four, five, six...

Vodka and a hammer!
I need vodka and a hammer!

- I got it. Got it. Got it. Got it.
- I want you to look at me.

- Wait. Should she have that?
- Hey!

Push. Two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine...

Okay. Here, here, here, here, here.
Here you go.

Here you go. There you go.

Okay.

You having a good time?

Let's just say childbirth
is as disgusting as it is miraculous.

- Push.
- Come on.

Come on. You've got it.

It wasn't me.

- It's a...
- I don't want to know.

One more time. You ready?
Okay. Push.

Keep pushing. Okay, I see its head.

- Push!
- I know, I know, I know.

Okay. It's another baby.

Both look really healthy.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

They're not mine.

We were in debt. I'm a surrogate.

I get it. You're providing for your family.

Please don't tell anyone.

We all have our secrets.

Yes, we do.

Let me see them.

You're giving someone a beautiful gift.