Archie's Weird Mysteries (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 7 - Curse of the Mummy - full transcript
Archie and Jughead get locked in the Riverdale museum with a mummy inexplicably determined to get revenge against our boy hero.
Narrator:
CURSE OF THE MUMMY!
RESTING IN PEACE
FOR OVER 3,000 YEARS,
RUDELY AWAKENED
FROM THE SLEEP OF THE DEAD.
NOW HE'S BACK,
AND HE'S NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!
Veronica: AAH!
Narrator:
CURSE OF THE MUMMY!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE
BY DIC ENTERTAINMENT AND
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
♪ WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHO IS GONNA
CRACK THE CASE? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THAT REDHEAD
WITH THE FRECKLED FACE ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THINGS ARE GETTIN' WEIRD
IN RIVERDALE ♪
♪ HEY, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ ARCHIE, REGGIE
♪ VERONICA, BETTY
♪ JUGHEAD, TOO
♪ WEIRD
♪ ARCHIE'S
WEIRD MYSTERIES ♪
Man: THESE WERE
THE PHARAOH'S LAST WORDS:
"LET NO MAN DARE DEPICT
MY WRETCHED FACE
"AT ANY TIME, IN ANY FORM,
"OR THE WRATH OF NEZZERBEEN
SHALL FALL UPON HIM
"AND ANNIHILATE HIM.
I, THE MIGHTY NEZZERBEEN,
HAVE SPOKEN."
AND THAT IS WHY
ABSOLUTELY NO CAMERAS
WILL BE ALLOWED
IN THIS EXHIBIT.
ALL BECAUSE OF
SOME SILLY MUMMY'S
LAST WORDS?
GET REAL.
GRR...
AND REMEMBER, CLASS,
YOUR TEAM PROJECTS
ARE DUE ON MONDAY.
SO, FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO HAVE BEEN PUTTING
THEM OFF ALL WEEK,
YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
[RINGS]
DO YOU HEAR THAT,
ARCHIE?
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT
PROCRASTINATORS LIKE YOU.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BETTY?
I HAVEN'T BEEN
PROCRASTINATING.
OH, YES, YOU HAVE.
EVERY DAY THIS WEEK,
YOU'VE PUT OFF OUR PROJECT
UNTIL TOMORROW.
AND NOW YOU'VE
TOMORROWED US
ALL THE WAY
TO THE WEEKEND.
GEE, BETTY, THINGS
JUST KEEP COMING UP.
YOU MEAN LIKE
DIGGING FOR ANTS?
HUH?
HEY! NOT JUST
ANY ANTS.
WE WERE LOOKING FOR
EVIDENCE OF ALIEN ANTS
LIVING AMONGST
OUR EARTHLING ANTS.
ONLY, I JUST GOT STUNG,
WHICH I THINK
IS EVIDENCE
THAT EARTH ANTS
DON'T LIKE IT
WHEN YOU DIG UP
THEIR HILLS.
ALIEN ANTS?
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO FIND SOMETHING
FOR MY LATEST
"WEIRD MYSTERY"
COLUMN.
ANYTHING.
EVEN ALIEN INSECTS.
LOOK, ARCHIE,
I DON'T CARE
WHY YOU'VE BEEN
PUTTING OFF OUR PROJECT.
I JUST DON'T WANNA WAIT
UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE
AND HAVE TO BE WORKING
ALL DAY SUNDAY
TO FINISH ON TIME.
I PROMISE I WON'T
PUT IT OFF ANYMORE.
GOOD. SO ARE YOU
FREE THIS AFTERNOON?
SORRY, BETTY.
ARCHIE AND I HAVE
A DATE WITH THE MUMMY.
A MUMMY?
IT'S A NEW MUMMY EXHIBIT
AT THE RIVERDALE MUSEUM.
I'M HOPING TO FIND
A "WEIRD MYSTERY"
COLUMN IN IT.
SO WHEN ARE WE GOING
TO DO OUR PROJECT?
NO, NO, LET ME GUESS.
TOMORROW.
TOMORROW?
THANKS FOR
UNDERSTANDING,
BETTY.
[SIGHS]
Jughead: SO, ARCH,
WHAT KIND
OF WEIRD MYSTERY
DO YOU THINK
YOU'LL GET FROM THIS
OLD MUMMY EXHIBIT?
WELL, THINK
ABOUT IT, JUGHEAD.
MUMMIES ARE CREEPY,
RIGHT?
NO FOOLIN'!
AND I FIGURE ANY MUMMY
WORTH HIS WEIGHT
IN BANDAGES HAS GOT
TO HAVE A CURSE, RIGHT?
I'M NO
ARCHAEOLOGIST,
BUT IT SOUNDS
GOOD TO ME.
SO IF WE'VE GOT
OURSELVES A CREEPY
3,000-YEAR-OLD CURSE
VISITING RIVERDALE,
WELL...
I WANT TO BE THE FIRST
TO REPORT ON IT.
SOUNDS BETTER
THAN ALIEN ANTS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THE TICKETS WERE SOLD OUT.
WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW PEOPLE ARE...
ALWAYS WANTING
TO BE FIRST
TO SEE
THE 3,000-YEAR-OLD CURSE
VISITING THEIR TOWN.
I GUESS IT IS OPENING DAY
AT THE EXHIBIT AND ALL.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
THIS GIVES YOU
FREE TIME TODAY
TO WORK ON YOUR PROJECT
WITH BETTY.
[SLURPS]
NAH, WE ALREADY PLANNED
TO DO THAT TOMORROW,
ON SATURDAY.
IT CAN WAIT TILL THEN.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
ANDREWS' RESIDENCE.
ARCHIEKINS,
WHO'S
YOUR FAVORITE PERSON
IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
VERONICA?
THAT'S RIGHT!
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
UH, NO. WHY?
WELL, GEE, ARCHIE,
YOU SHOULD ALREADY HAVE
A VERY LONG LIST OF REASONS!
CAN'T YOU THINK
OF SOMETHING?!
UH, SORRY.
I, UH--
NEVER MIND.
I'LL GIVE YOU A REASON.
THIS IS
PROFESSOR OSIRIS.
HE'S
THE MUSEUM CURATOR
WHO ARRANGED
THE MUMMY EXHIBIT.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
OHH!
AHH...
AND THIS IS
ARCHIE ANDREWS,
THE FRIEND I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT.
A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU, SIR.
GEE, THANKS, RONNIE.
HOW'D YOU SWING THIS?
DADDY'S CHAIRMAN
OF THE MUSEUM BOARD.
HE PRACTICALLY LIVES THERE!
MISS LODGE HERE TELLS ME
YOU WANT TO DO AN ARTICLE
ON THE PHARAOH KING
NEZZERBEEN
FOR YOUR SCHOOL PAPER.
KING NEZZERBEEN?
OUR VISITING MUMMY.
THAT WAS HIS NAME,
YOU KNOW.
NO, I DIDN'T.
WHAT ELSE
CAN YOU TELL ME?
WHY, SON, I CAN
TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
AND THAT'S WHY THE PHARAOHS
BELIEVED THEIR TOMBS
WOULD BRING THEM
ETERNAL LIFE AFTER DEATH.
FASCINATING STUFF,
EH, RONNIE?
WH-WHAT?
OH, UH--UH, YES.
FASCINATING.
YOU SURE KNOW A LOT
ABOUT KING NEZZERBEEN.
WERE THERE EVER ANY RUMORS
ABOUT HIS TOMB BEING CURSED?
[LAUGHS] THIS IS
NO MONSTER MOVIE.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS CURSES.
[DISAPPOINTED] OH.
ALTHOUGH THE PHARAOH
WAS HAUNTED BY TRAGEDY,
AND YOU COULD SAY
HE CURSED HIMSELF
FOR HIS FOOLISHNESS.
YEAH?
Professor Osiris:
YOU SEE, NEZZERBEEN
HAD A GREAT LOVE
IN HIS LIFE--
QUEEN BETATITI.
WELL, SHE SHOULD
HAVE BEEN HIS QUEEN.
Veronica: WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"SHOULD HAVE BEEN"?
THE TWO WERE TO BE WED,
BUT NEZZERBEEN
WAS A PROCRASTINATOR
AND KEPT PUTTING OFF
THE WEDDING.
"TOMORROW,"
HE'D TELL HER,
ALWAYS TOMORROW.
YOU SEE, THE KING
DID NOT WANT TO MARRY
UNTIL HE FINISHED
BUILDING THE TOMB
THAT WOULD HOUSE THEM
IN THE ETERNAL TOMORROW.
BUT BETATITI GREW TIRED
OF WAITING FOR HIM,
AND EVENTUALLY LEFT.
Veronica: HMMPH! HE'S LUCKY
SHE STAYED AROUND
AS LONG AS SHE DID.
[GASPS]
Professor Osiris: YES,
AND WITHOUT BETATITI,
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
THE BROKEN-HEARTED
NEZZERBEEN WAS CURSED
TO SPEND ALL
OF HIS TOMORROWS ALONE.
GOSH. POOR GUY.
YOU'D NEVER PUT ME
OFF LIKE THAT,
NOW, WOULD YOU,
ARCHIEKINS?
WELL, OF COURSE NOT,
VERONICA.
I--[GASPS]
BETTY! I TOTALLY FORGOT
WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO DO OUR PROJECT TODAY!
WELL, NOW, SON,
THERE'S MORE TO THE STORY.
GEE, THANKS
FOR YOUR TIME,
PROFESSOR,
BUT I'VE GOTTA RUN!
GRR...
I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR YOU ALL DAY!
I KNOW!
I'M SORRY, AND--
AND, LET ME GUESS--
TOMORROW?
NO! NO, BETTY!
RIGHT NOW!
[SIGHS] WE'RE STILL
EATING DINNER,
BUT I'LL
TELL YOU WHAT,
THE LIBRARY IS OPEN LATE
TONIGHT FOR THE BOOK FAIR.
I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE LIBRARY STUDY ROOM
IN HALF AN HOUR.
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
OH, AND, ARCHIE?
HUH?
NO MORE PROCRASTINATING!
I PROMISE!
HMM...
THE MUSEUM'S ON THE WAY
TO THE LIBRARY.
I'VE GOT
A LITTLE FREE TIME
BEFORE BETTY'S DONE
WITH DINNER...
OH, NO, YOU DON'T,
ARCHIE ANDREWS.
YOU GO STRAIGHT
TO THE LIBRARY
AND START WORKING
ON YOUR PROJECT.
[GASPS]
AW, COME ON!
THE MUSEUM'S
RIGHT HERE.
DON'T YOU WANNA GET
SOME PICTURES
OF THAT MUMMY
FOR YOUR ARTICLE?
NO MORE
PROCRASTINATING!
YOU PROMISED
BETTY, AND--
OHH!
YOU PROMISED BETTY
THAT YOU'D MEET HER
AT THE LIBRARY,
AND YOU WILL...
BUT FIRST...
YOU GONNA SIT
AT THIS INTERSECTION
ALL NIGHT?
OH, HEY,
JUGHEAD.
I JUST GOT LOST
IN THOUGHT.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
BUT, THEN AGAIN, I'M OUT
FOR MY EVENING THINK.
TONIGHT I'M THINKING
ABOUT CULINARY MYSTERIES,
LIKE WHAT FRIED FIRST,
THE CHICKEN...
OR THE EGGS?
AND JUST EXACTLY HOW DO THEY
GET THAT NONSTICK SURFACE
TO STICK TO THE PAN?
SOUNDS DEEP,
EINSTEIN.
YOU WANT A LIFT?
SURE. WHERE
ARE WE GOING?
I'M, UH...
WELL...
I'M MEETING BETTY
AT THE LIBRARY,
BUT FIRST I THOUGHT
I'D SWING BY THE MUSEUM
AND GET A QUICK LOOK
AT THAT MUMMY.
LEAD ON!
Archie: 2 FOR
THE PHARAOH KING EXHIBIT.
SORRY. NO CAN DO.
WHAT?! IT CAN'T BE SOLD OUT.
THERE'S NOBODY HERE!
THAT'S BECAUSE
WE'RE CLOSING.
PLEASE, CAN I JUST
TAKE A QUICK LOOK?
I'M HERE WITH
THE SCHOOL PAPER.
LOOK, I JUST
SELL TICKETS,
BUT LET'S SAY
I DIDN'T SEE
YOU GO IN.
IF YOU CLEARED OUT
BEFORE SECURITY
LOCKS UP...
YOU'D HAVE TIME
FOR A QUICK PEEK.
JUST MAKE SURE
IT'S QUICK.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
JUST COME BACK TOMORROW,
AND...
SHH!
OK. COME ON!
I DON'T THINK
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
IT'S JUST
A FEW SNAPSHOTS,
AND WE'LL BE GONE.
THEY'RE NOT EVEN LOCKING
THE PLACE UP YET.
WOW!
WOW!
THERE HE IS.
THE MUMMY MAN
HIMSELF.
Archie: I WONDER WHY
THE FACE ON THE LID
IS ALL SCRATCHED UP.
MAYBE IT SAYS HERE.
YEAH, LET'S SEE...
"DO NOT TOUCH MUMMY.
DO NOT TAKE PICTURES."
DO NOT TAKE PICTURES?
OOPS!
TOO LATE NOW.
[NERVOUSLY]
UM, CAN WE GO NOW?
OW!
YOU'VE GOTTA
OPEN IT FIRST.
I CAN'T!
WHAT?!
OH, NO! YOU MEAN...
Both: WE'RE LOCKED INSIDE!
Archie: OH, GREAT!
HELLO! HELLO?
IS ANYBODY HERE?
HELLO?!
GRR...
WE'RE LOCKED INSIDE!
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?
IT'S TIME TO
BRING OUT THE SPARE!
NO, IT MEANS IF WE DON'T
GET OUT OF HERE QUICK,
BETTY'S GONNA KILL ME!
YOU CARRY A SPARE BURGER?
IT NEVER HURTS
TO BE PREPARED.
GRR...
SAY,
DID YOU JUST
HEAR SOMETHING?
SOUNDS LIKE
YOUR TUMMY TALKIN',
BUT DON'T SWEAT IT.
I ALSO PACK
A SPARE SPARE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
IT'S FOR ME, SMITHERS!
I'VE GOT IT!
OH, RONNIE,
THANK GOODNESS
YOU ANSWERED!
SOMETHING'S AFTER ME!
SOMETHING--AAH!
AAH!
HELP ME! HELP!
ARE YOU QUITE
FINISHED?
AAH! AAH.
I HAD YOU
FOR A MINUTE THERE.
COME ON, ADMIT IT.
[SIGHS] BOYS!
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO?
YES. ONE MOMENT.
MR. ARCHIE ANDREWS
ON THE PHONE
FOR YOU, MISS LODGE.
THANK YOU, SMITHERS.
YOU KNOW, ARCHIE,
AFTER THE WAY YOU RUSHED
OUT OF HERE TODAY,
YOU'RE LUCKY I'M EVEN
TAKING YOUR CALLS.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
YES, I'M REALLY SORRY!
VERONICA, I CAN'T
TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM.
ALL RIGHT, I ACCEPT
YOUR APOLOGY.
NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND,
REGGIE AND I ARE GOING
TO WATCH A DVD.AH!
YOU TAKE CARE,
ARCHIEKINS.
NO, NO, NO, WAIT!
DON'T HANG UP!
YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T
JUST CALL TO APOLOGIZE?
UH-HUH.
YOU'RE WHERE?!
YOU--YOU WANT ME
TO--WHAT?!
WELL, YOU SAID
YOUR FATHER'S CHAIRMAN
OF THE MUSEUM BOARD,
SO I FIGURED
HE'S GOTTA HAVE A KEY
TO THE MUSEUM, RIGHT?
OOH, ARCHIE ANDREWS!
DADDY'S RIGHT ABOUT YOU.
YOU ARETROUBLE!
WE'LL BE DOWN SHORTLY.
OH, THANK YOU,
VERONICA!
I OWE YOU
BIG-TIME!
BIG-, BIG-,
BIG-TIME!
WE'LL
SEE YOU SOON.
GRR!
[GASPS]
GRR...
[GASPS]
M-M-M-MUMMY!
WHAT?!
I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY!
Archie: THE--THE--
THE MUMMY!
IT'S--IT'S ALIVE!
HURRY, VERONICA!
HELP!
GRR...
HELP! AAH!
[SIGHS] BOYS!
[BEEPING]
YOU'RE ALL THE SAME.
HUH?
OH, NEVER MIND.
COME ON.
OHH...
OHH...
AAH!
AAH!
[BOTH PANTING]
IS IT STILL
BEHIND US?
[PANTING]
KEEP RUNNING!
SAY, I'VE GOT A REALLY
WEIRD MYSTERY FOR YOU!
WHAT THE HECK'S
GOIN' ON?!
I DON'T KNOW, JUGHEAD,
BUT THIS IS ONE MYSTERY
I SURE WISH I'D NEVER
STUMBLED ONTO!
WHOA! UHH!
Mummy: GRR!Jughead: COME ON!
THAT PHARAOH KING OF YOURS
GETS AROUND PRETTY GOOD
CONSIDERING HIS AGE.
THIS IS
ALL MY FAULT!
NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,
I WAS DOING OK
UNTIL YOU DRAGGED ME
TO THIS TOMB OF DOOM.
OH, I WAS SO STUPID!
IF I HADN'T BEEN
PROCRASTINATING,
WE'D NEVER EVEN BE HERE.
I NEVER SHOULD'VE
PUT OFF THE LIBRARY!
ARCHIE?
ARCHIE!
THEY MUST BE INSIDE
SOMEWHERE.
YOU WAIT AT THE DOOR
AND MAKE SURE
IT DOESN'T CLOSE.
Reggie: UM, WHY?
BECAUSE DADDY SAYS
THE ELECTRONIC
LOCKING MECHANISM
IS ON THE FRITZ
AND CAN'T BE UNLOCKED
FROM THE INSIDE.
OH.
GREAT!
NOW WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO CALL DADDY!
HE IS NOTGOING
TO BE PLEASED!
ARCHIE!
YO, JUGHEAD!
WHERE ARE YOU CLOWNS?HUH?
GEE, WHAT
HAPPENED HERE?
HUH?!
Mummy: GRR![GASPS]
I SMELL A PRANK,
AND IT'S GETTING
STINKIER
WITH EVERY STEP
HETAKES.
[GASPS]
OH, PLEASE!
ARCHIE, DID YOU
DRAG ME ALL THE WAY
DOWN HERE FOR THIS?
I GIVE YOU POINTS
FOR EFFORT, ARCH,
BUT THE JOKE'S
GONE FAR ENOUGH.
Archie: VERONICA, REGGIE!HUH?
RUN!
LOOK OUT!
IF ARCHIE AND JUGHEAD
ARE OVER THERE...
THEN WHO'S
THE MUMMY?
GRR!
AAH!
AAH!
THE MUMMY'S REAL?!
Both: AAH!
DON'T HURT ME!
HEY!
HUH? WHAT GIVES?!
Archie:
DID YOU SEE THAT?
Jughead: IT WALKED
RIGHT PAST THEM!
IT ONLY WANTS US!
GRR!
[BOTH PANTING]
[TEETH CHATTERING]
SHH!
[GASPS]
AAH! HE'S GOT ME!
I'VE GOT YOU!
HE'S GOT ME MORE!
WHOA!
COME ON, RONNIE!
WE'RE GETTING
OUT OF HERE!
HUH?
SAFETY GLASS?
AW, MAN!
RONNIE!
OPEN THE DOOR!
I CAN'T!
WE'RE LOCKED IN!
STAY AWAY FROM ME,
ANDREWS.
YOU'RE GOING TO BRING
THAT MUMMY BACK HERE.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN,
ARCHIE?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
WHO CARES? JUST GO
DO IT OVER THERE!
I DON'T KNOW, VERONICA.
WE JUST SNUCK IN
TO LOOK AT THE MUMMY,
AND THE NEXT THING
WE KNEW IT WAS ALIVE!
AND CRANKY!
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
THE WAY IT JUST SMASHED
ARCHIE'S CAMERA
LIKE IT WAS TINFOIL!
CAMERA?
WAIT A MINUTE.
DID YOU
TAKE PICTURES?
WELL, SURE, I--
LET ME SEE.
HERE. HERE!
WHAT? WHY?
I COULD BE WRONG,
BUT MAYBE...
HUH?
MAYBE WHAT?
WELL, AFTER YOU
RAN OUT THIS AFTERNOON,
THE PROFESSOR WENT ON
TO TELL THE REST
OF NEZZERBEEN'S STORY.
REMEMBER
HOW BETATITI LEFT HIM
FOR PUTTING HER
OFF SO LONG?
APPARENTLY, THE PHARAOH
WAS SO UPSET WITH HIMSELF
THAT HE NEVER WANTED
TO SEE HIMSELF AGAIN
BECAUSE IT JUST REMINDED
HIM OF HOW LONELY HE WAS
WITHOUT HER.
HE DESTROYED ALL
THE MIRRORS IN THE PLACE,
SMASHED ALL THE STATUES
THAT HAD BEEN MADE OF HIM...
Archie: HAD HIS FACE
SCRATCHED OFF
OF HIS SARCOPHAGUS!
SO MAYBE THERE IS
A CURSE AFTER ALL.
MAYBE IT'S
THE PICTURES!
MAYBE HE'S COME
BACK TO LIFE
BECAUSE HE WANTS ME
TO DESTROY MY PICTURES.
GRR!
[ALL GASP]
COME ON, NEZZERBEEN,
LOOK, LOOK!
[PANTING]
HURRY, ARCHIE!
HURRY!
[PANTING]
THAT'S IT!
OH, NO! NOW WHAT?
BUT THAT'S ALL OF THEM!
I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE!
STUPID ROPE!
GRR!
I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!
I--[GASPS]
THERE! THERE, THERE!
AAH!
[GASPS] HUH?!
Archie:
IT WAS THAT SIMPLE.
I HAD FOUND
ANOTHER WEIRD MYSTERY.
AND, THANKS TO VERONICA,
I SOLVED IT
IN THE NICK OF TIME.
Archie: WE HAD A LOT
OF EXPLAINING
TO DO IN THE MORNING,
BUT, FORTUNATELY, RONNIE'S
ALLOWANCE WAS ENOUGH
TO COVER THE DAMAGE.
BETTY HAD FINISHED HER PART
OF THE ASSIGNMENT
THAT NIGHT WITHOUT ME,
AND I WAS LEFT
TO FINISH MY HALF
OF THE WORK ALONE.
AFTER BETATITI--UH,
I MEAN, AFTER BETTYHEARD
WHAT I HAD BEEN THROUGH,
SHE KNEW I WOULDN'T BE
PUTTING THINGS OFF ANYMORE.
I DIDN'T WANNA BE LIKE
KING NEZZERBEEN,
ALWAYS MISERABLE FOR
STUPIDLY PROCRASTINATING.
AND MAYBE THE PHARAOH
CAN REST EASIER NOW
KNOWING THAT SOMEONE LEARNED
FROM HIS MISTAKES,
EVEN 3,000 YEARS
AFTER THE FACT...
IN A LITTLE TOWN
CALLED RIVERDALE.
CURSE OF THE MUMMY!
RESTING IN PEACE
FOR OVER 3,000 YEARS,
RUDELY AWAKENED
FROM THE SLEEP OF THE DEAD.
NOW HE'S BACK,
AND HE'S NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!
Veronica: AAH!
Narrator:
CURSE OF THE MUMMY!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE
BY DIC ENTERTAINMENT AND
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
♪ WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHO IS GONNA
CRACK THE CASE? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THAT REDHEAD
WITH THE FRECKLED FACE ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ THINGS ARE GETTIN' WEIRD
IN RIVERDALE ♪
♪ HEY, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪
♪ ARCHIE'S
♪ WEIRD
♪ MYSTERIES
♪ ARCHIE, REGGIE
♪ VERONICA, BETTY
♪ JUGHEAD, TOO
♪ WEIRD
♪ ARCHIE'S
WEIRD MYSTERIES ♪
Man: THESE WERE
THE PHARAOH'S LAST WORDS:
"LET NO MAN DARE DEPICT
MY WRETCHED FACE
"AT ANY TIME, IN ANY FORM,
"OR THE WRATH OF NEZZERBEEN
SHALL FALL UPON HIM
"AND ANNIHILATE HIM.
I, THE MIGHTY NEZZERBEEN,
HAVE SPOKEN."
AND THAT IS WHY
ABSOLUTELY NO CAMERAS
WILL BE ALLOWED
IN THIS EXHIBIT.
ALL BECAUSE OF
SOME SILLY MUMMY'S
LAST WORDS?
GET REAL.
GRR...
AND REMEMBER, CLASS,
YOUR TEAM PROJECTS
ARE DUE ON MONDAY.
SO, FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO HAVE BEEN PUTTING
THEM OFF ALL WEEK,
YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
[RINGS]
DO YOU HEAR THAT,
ARCHIE?
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT
PROCRASTINATORS LIKE YOU.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BETTY?
I HAVEN'T BEEN
PROCRASTINATING.
OH, YES, YOU HAVE.
EVERY DAY THIS WEEK,
YOU'VE PUT OFF OUR PROJECT
UNTIL TOMORROW.
AND NOW YOU'VE
TOMORROWED US
ALL THE WAY
TO THE WEEKEND.
GEE, BETTY, THINGS
JUST KEEP COMING UP.
YOU MEAN LIKE
DIGGING FOR ANTS?
HUH?
HEY! NOT JUST
ANY ANTS.
WE WERE LOOKING FOR
EVIDENCE OF ALIEN ANTS
LIVING AMONGST
OUR EARTHLING ANTS.
ONLY, I JUST GOT STUNG,
WHICH I THINK
IS EVIDENCE
THAT EARTH ANTS
DON'T LIKE IT
WHEN YOU DIG UP
THEIR HILLS.
ALIEN ANTS?
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO FIND SOMETHING
FOR MY LATEST
"WEIRD MYSTERY"
COLUMN.
ANYTHING.
EVEN ALIEN INSECTS.
LOOK, ARCHIE,
I DON'T CARE
WHY YOU'VE BEEN
PUTTING OFF OUR PROJECT.
I JUST DON'T WANNA WAIT
UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE
AND HAVE TO BE WORKING
ALL DAY SUNDAY
TO FINISH ON TIME.
I PROMISE I WON'T
PUT IT OFF ANYMORE.
GOOD. SO ARE YOU
FREE THIS AFTERNOON?
SORRY, BETTY.
ARCHIE AND I HAVE
A DATE WITH THE MUMMY.
A MUMMY?
IT'S A NEW MUMMY EXHIBIT
AT THE RIVERDALE MUSEUM.
I'M HOPING TO FIND
A "WEIRD MYSTERY"
COLUMN IN IT.
SO WHEN ARE WE GOING
TO DO OUR PROJECT?
NO, NO, LET ME GUESS.
TOMORROW.
TOMORROW?
THANKS FOR
UNDERSTANDING,
BETTY.
[SIGHS]
Jughead: SO, ARCH,
WHAT KIND
OF WEIRD MYSTERY
DO YOU THINK
YOU'LL GET FROM THIS
OLD MUMMY EXHIBIT?
WELL, THINK
ABOUT IT, JUGHEAD.
MUMMIES ARE CREEPY,
RIGHT?
NO FOOLIN'!
AND I FIGURE ANY MUMMY
WORTH HIS WEIGHT
IN BANDAGES HAS GOT
TO HAVE A CURSE, RIGHT?
I'M NO
ARCHAEOLOGIST,
BUT IT SOUNDS
GOOD TO ME.
SO IF WE'VE GOT
OURSELVES A CREEPY
3,000-YEAR-OLD CURSE
VISITING RIVERDALE,
WELL...
I WANT TO BE THE FIRST
TO REPORT ON IT.
SOUNDS BETTER
THAN ALIEN ANTS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THE TICKETS WERE SOLD OUT.
WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW PEOPLE ARE...
ALWAYS WANTING
TO BE FIRST
TO SEE
THE 3,000-YEAR-OLD CURSE
VISITING THEIR TOWN.
I GUESS IT IS OPENING DAY
AT THE EXHIBIT AND ALL.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
THIS GIVES YOU
FREE TIME TODAY
TO WORK ON YOUR PROJECT
WITH BETTY.
[SLURPS]
NAH, WE ALREADY PLANNED
TO DO THAT TOMORROW,
ON SATURDAY.
IT CAN WAIT TILL THEN.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
ANDREWS' RESIDENCE.
ARCHIEKINS,
WHO'S
YOUR FAVORITE PERSON
IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
VERONICA?
THAT'S RIGHT!
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
UH, NO. WHY?
WELL, GEE, ARCHIE,
YOU SHOULD ALREADY HAVE
A VERY LONG LIST OF REASONS!
CAN'T YOU THINK
OF SOMETHING?!
UH, SORRY.
I, UH--
NEVER MIND.
I'LL GIVE YOU A REASON.
THIS IS
PROFESSOR OSIRIS.
HE'S
THE MUSEUM CURATOR
WHO ARRANGED
THE MUMMY EXHIBIT.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
OHH!
AHH...
AND THIS IS
ARCHIE ANDREWS,
THE FRIEND I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT.
A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU, SIR.
GEE, THANKS, RONNIE.
HOW'D YOU SWING THIS?
DADDY'S CHAIRMAN
OF THE MUSEUM BOARD.
HE PRACTICALLY LIVES THERE!
MISS LODGE HERE TELLS ME
YOU WANT TO DO AN ARTICLE
ON THE PHARAOH KING
NEZZERBEEN
FOR YOUR SCHOOL PAPER.
KING NEZZERBEEN?
OUR VISITING MUMMY.
THAT WAS HIS NAME,
YOU KNOW.
NO, I DIDN'T.
WHAT ELSE
CAN YOU TELL ME?
WHY, SON, I CAN
TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
AND THAT'S WHY THE PHARAOHS
BELIEVED THEIR TOMBS
WOULD BRING THEM
ETERNAL LIFE AFTER DEATH.
FASCINATING STUFF,
EH, RONNIE?
WH-WHAT?
OH, UH--UH, YES.
FASCINATING.
YOU SURE KNOW A LOT
ABOUT KING NEZZERBEEN.
WERE THERE EVER ANY RUMORS
ABOUT HIS TOMB BEING CURSED?
[LAUGHS] THIS IS
NO MONSTER MOVIE.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS CURSES.
[DISAPPOINTED] OH.
ALTHOUGH THE PHARAOH
WAS HAUNTED BY TRAGEDY,
AND YOU COULD SAY
HE CURSED HIMSELF
FOR HIS FOOLISHNESS.
YEAH?
Professor Osiris:
YOU SEE, NEZZERBEEN
HAD A GREAT LOVE
IN HIS LIFE--
QUEEN BETATITI.
WELL, SHE SHOULD
HAVE BEEN HIS QUEEN.
Veronica: WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"SHOULD HAVE BEEN"?
THE TWO WERE TO BE WED,
BUT NEZZERBEEN
WAS A PROCRASTINATOR
AND KEPT PUTTING OFF
THE WEDDING.
"TOMORROW,"
HE'D TELL HER,
ALWAYS TOMORROW.
YOU SEE, THE KING
DID NOT WANT TO MARRY
UNTIL HE FINISHED
BUILDING THE TOMB
THAT WOULD HOUSE THEM
IN THE ETERNAL TOMORROW.
BUT BETATITI GREW TIRED
OF WAITING FOR HIM,
AND EVENTUALLY LEFT.
Veronica: HMMPH! HE'S LUCKY
SHE STAYED AROUND
AS LONG AS SHE DID.
[GASPS]
Professor Osiris: YES,
AND WITHOUT BETATITI,
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
THE BROKEN-HEARTED
NEZZERBEEN WAS CURSED
TO SPEND ALL
OF HIS TOMORROWS ALONE.
GOSH. POOR GUY.
YOU'D NEVER PUT ME
OFF LIKE THAT,
NOW, WOULD YOU,
ARCHIEKINS?
WELL, OF COURSE NOT,
VERONICA.
I--[GASPS]
BETTY! I TOTALLY FORGOT
WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO DO OUR PROJECT TODAY!
WELL, NOW, SON,
THERE'S MORE TO THE STORY.
GEE, THANKS
FOR YOUR TIME,
PROFESSOR,
BUT I'VE GOTTA RUN!
GRR...
I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR YOU ALL DAY!
I KNOW!
I'M SORRY, AND--
AND, LET ME GUESS--
TOMORROW?
NO! NO, BETTY!
RIGHT NOW!
[SIGHS] WE'RE STILL
EATING DINNER,
BUT I'LL
TELL YOU WHAT,
THE LIBRARY IS OPEN LATE
TONIGHT FOR THE BOOK FAIR.
I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE LIBRARY STUDY ROOM
IN HALF AN HOUR.
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
OH, AND, ARCHIE?
HUH?
NO MORE PROCRASTINATING!
I PROMISE!
HMM...
THE MUSEUM'S ON THE WAY
TO THE LIBRARY.
I'VE GOT
A LITTLE FREE TIME
BEFORE BETTY'S DONE
WITH DINNER...
OH, NO, YOU DON'T,
ARCHIE ANDREWS.
YOU GO STRAIGHT
TO THE LIBRARY
AND START WORKING
ON YOUR PROJECT.
[GASPS]
AW, COME ON!
THE MUSEUM'S
RIGHT HERE.
DON'T YOU WANNA GET
SOME PICTURES
OF THAT MUMMY
FOR YOUR ARTICLE?
NO MORE
PROCRASTINATING!
YOU PROMISED
BETTY, AND--
OHH!
YOU PROMISED BETTY
THAT YOU'D MEET HER
AT THE LIBRARY,
AND YOU WILL...
BUT FIRST...
YOU GONNA SIT
AT THIS INTERSECTION
ALL NIGHT?
OH, HEY,
JUGHEAD.
I JUST GOT LOST
IN THOUGHT.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
BUT, THEN AGAIN, I'M OUT
FOR MY EVENING THINK.
TONIGHT I'M THINKING
ABOUT CULINARY MYSTERIES,
LIKE WHAT FRIED FIRST,
THE CHICKEN...
OR THE EGGS?
AND JUST EXACTLY HOW DO THEY
GET THAT NONSTICK SURFACE
TO STICK TO THE PAN?
SOUNDS DEEP,
EINSTEIN.
YOU WANT A LIFT?
SURE. WHERE
ARE WE GOING?
I'M, UH...
WELL...
I'M MEETING BETTY
AT THE LIBRARY,
BUT FIRST I THOUGHT
I'D SWING BY THE MUSEUM
AND GET A QUICK LOOK
AT THAT MUMMY.
LEAD ON!
Archie: 2 FOR
THE PHARAOH KING EXHIBIT.
SORRY. NO CAN DO.
WHAT?! IT CAN'T BE SOLD OUT.
THERE'S NOBODY HERE!
THAT'S BECAUSE
WE'RE CLOSING.
PLEASE, CAN I JUST
TAKE A QUICK LOOK?
I'M HERE WITH
THE SCHOOL PAPER.
LOOK, I JUST
SELL TICKETS,
BUT LET'S SAY
I DIDN'T SEE
YOU GO IN.
IF YOU CLEARED OUT
BEFORE SECURITY
LOCKS UP...
YOU'D HAVE TIME
FOR A QUICK PEEK.
JUST MAKE SURE
IT'S QUICK.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
JUST COME BACK TOMORROW,
AND...
SHH!
OK. COME ON!
I DON'T THINK
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
IT'S JUST
A FEW SNAPSHOTS,
AND WE'LL BE GONE.
THEY'RE NOT EVEN LOCKING
THE PLACE UP YET.
WOW!
WOW!
THERE HE IS.
THE MUMMY MAN
HIMSELF.
Archie: I WONDER WHY
THE FACE ON THE LID
IS ALL SCRATCHED UP.
MAYBE IT SAYS HERE.
YEAH, LET'S SEE...
"DO NOT TOUCH MUMMY.
DO NOT TAKE PICTURES."
DO NOT TAKE PICTURES?
OOPS!
TOO LATE NOW.
[NERVOUSLY]
UM, CAN WE GO NOW?
OW!
YOU'VE GOTTA
OPEN IT FIRST.
I CAN'T!
WHAT?!
OH, NO! YOU MEAN...
Both: WE'RE LOCKED INSIDE!
Archie: OH, GREAT!
HELLO! HELLO?
IS ANYBODY HERE?
HELLO?!
GRR...
WE'RE LOCKED INSIDE!
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?
IT'S TIME TO
BRING OUT THE SPARE!
NO, IT MEANS IF WE DON'T
GET OUT OF HERE QUICK,
BETTY'S GONNA KILL ME!
YOU CARRY A SPARE BURGER?
IT NEVER HURTS
TO BE PREPARED.
GRR...
SAY,
DID YOU JUST
HEAR SOMETHING?
SOUNDS LIKE
YOUR TUMMY TALKIN',
BUT DON'T SWEAT IT.
I ALSO PACK
A SPARE SPARE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
IT'S FOR ME, SMITHERS!
I'VE GOT IT!
OH, RONNIE,
THANK GOODNESS
YOU ANSWERED!
SOMETHING'S AFTER ME!
SOMETHING--AAH!
AAH!
HELP ME! HELP!
ARE YOU QUITE
FINISHED?
AAH! AAH.
I HAD YOU
FOR A MINUTE THERE.
COME ON, ADMIT IT.
[SIGHS] BOYS!
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO?
YES. ONE MOMENT.
MR. ARCHIE ANDREWS
ON THE PHONE
FOR YOU, MISS LODGE.
THANK YOU, SMITHERS.
YOU KNOW, ARCHIE,
AFTER THE WAY YOU RUSHED
OUT OF HERE TODAY,
YOU'RE LUCKY I'M EVEN
TAKING YOUR CALLS.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
YES, I'M REALLY SORRY!
VERONICA, I CAN'T
TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM.
ALL RIGHT, I ACCEPT
YOUR APOLOGY.
NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND,
REGGIE AND I ARE GOING
TO WATCH A DVD.AH!
YOU TAKE CARE,
ARCHIEKINS.
NO, NO, NO, WAIT!
DON'T HANG UP!
YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T
JUST CALL TO APOLOGIZE?
UH-HUH.
YOU'RE WHERE?!
YOU--YOU WANT ME
TO--WHAT?!
WELL, YOU SAID
YOUR FATHER'S CHAIRMAN
OF THE MUSEUM BOARD,
SO I FIGURED
HE'S GOTTA HAVE A KEY
TO THE MUSEUM, RIGHT?
OOH, ARCHIE ANDREWS!
DADDY'S RIGHT ABOUT YOU.
YOU ARETROUBLE!
WE'LL BE DOWN SHORTLY.
OH, THANK YOU,
VERONICA!
I OWE YOU
BIG-TIME!
BIG-, BIG-,
BIG-TIME!
WE'LL
SEE YOU SOON.
GRR!
[GASPS]
GRR...
[GASPS]
M-M-M-MUMMY!
WHAT?!
I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY!
Archie: THE--THE--
THE MUMMY!
IT'S--IT'S ALIVE!
HURRY, VERONICA!
HELP!
GRR...
HELP! AAH!
[SIGHS] BOYS!
[BEEPING]
YOU'RE ALL THE SAME.
HUH?
OH, NEVER MIND.
COME ON.
OHH...
OHH...
AAH!
AAH!
[BOTH PANTING]
IS IT STILL
BEHIND US?
[PANTING]
KEEP RUNNING!
SAY, I'VE GOT A REALLY
WEIRD MYSTERY FOR YOU!
WHAT THE HECK'S
GOIN' ON?!
I DON'T KNOW, JUGHEAD,
BUT THIS IS ONE MYSTERY
I SURE WISH I'D NEVER
STUMBLED ONTO!
WHOA! UHH!
Mummy: GRR!Jughead: COME ON!
THAT PHARAOH KING OF YOURS
GETS AROUND PRETTY GOOD
CONSIDERING HIS AGE.
THIS IS
ALL MY FAULT!
NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,
I WAS DOING OK
UNTIL YOU DRAGGED ME
TO THIS TOMB OF DOOM.
OH, I WAS SO STUPID!
IF I HADN'T BEEN
PROCRASTINATING,
WE'D NEVER EVEN BE HERE.
I NEVER SHOULD'VE
PUT OFF THE LIBRARY!
ARCHIE?
ARCHIE!
THEY MUST BE INSIDE
SOMEWHERE.
YOU WAIT AT THE DOOR
AND MAKE SURE
IT DOESN'T CLOSE.
Reggie: UM, WHY?
BECAUSE DADDY SAYS
THE ELECTRONIC
LOCKING MECHANISM
IS ON THE FRITZ
AND CAN'T BE UNLOCKED
FROM THE INSIDE.
OH.
GREAT!
NOW WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO CALL DADDY!
HE IS NOTGOING
TO BE PLEASED!
ARCHIE!
YO, JUGHEAD!
WHERE ARE YOU CLOWNS?HUH?
GEE, WHAT
HAPPENED HERE?
HUH?!
Mummy: GRR![GASPS]
I SMELL A PRANK,
AND IT'S GETTING
STINKIER
WITH EVERY STEP
HETAKES.
[GASPS]
OH, PLEASE!
ARCHIE, DID YOU
DRAG ME ALL THE WAY
DOWN HERE FOR THIS?
I GIVE YOU POINTS
FOR EFFORT, ARCH,
BUT THE JOKE'S
GONE FAR ENOUGH.
Archie: VERONICA, REGGIE!HUH?
RUN!
LOOK OUT!
IF ARCHIE AND JUGHEAD
ARE OVER THERE...
THEN WHO'S
THE MUMMY?
GRR!
AAH!
AAH!
THE MUMMY'S REAL?!
Both: AAH!
DON'T HURT ME!
HEY!
HUH? WHAT GIVES?!
Archie:
DID YOU SEE THAT?
Jughead: IT WALKED
RIGHT PAST THEM!
IT ONLY WANTS US!
GRR!
[BOTH PANTING]
[TEETH CHATTERING]
SHH!
[GASPS]
AAH! HE'S GOT ME!
I'VE GOT YOU!
HE'S GOT ME MORE!
WHOA!
COME ON, RONNIE!
WE'RE GETTING
OUT OF HERE!
HUH?
SAFETY GLASS?
AW, MAN!
RONNIE!
OPEN THE DOOR!
I CAN'T!
WE'RE LOCKED IN!
STAY AWAY FROM ME,
ANDREWS.
YOU'RE GOING TO BRING
THAT MUMMY BACK HERE.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN,
ARCHIE?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
WHO CARES? JUST GO
DO IT OVER THERE!
I DON'T KNOW, VERONICA.
WE JUST SNUCK IN
TO LOOK AT THE MUMMY,
AND THE NEXT THING
WE KNEW IT WAS ALIVE!
AND CRANKY!
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
THE WAY IT JUST SMASHED
ARCHIE'S CAMERA
LIKE IT WAS TINFOIL!
CAMERA?
WAIT A MINUTE.
DID YOU
TAKE PICTURES?
WELL, SURE, I--
LET ME SEE.
HERE. HERE!
WHAT? WHY?
I COULD BE WRONG,
BUT MAYBE...
HUH?
MAYBE WHAT?
WELL, AFTER YOU
RAN OUT THIS AFTERNOON,
THE PROFESSOR WENT ON
TO TELL THE REST
OF NEZZERBEEN'S STORY.
REMEMBER
HOW BETATITI LEFT HIM
FOR PUTTING HER
OFF SO LONG?
APPARENTLY, THE PHARAOH
WAS SO UPSET WITH HIMSELF
THAT HE NEVER WANTED
TO SEE HIMSELF AGAIN
BECAUSE IT JUST REMINDED
HIM OF HOW LONELY HE WAS
WITHOUT HER.
HE DESTROYED ALL
THE MIRRORS IN THE PLACE,
SMASHED ALL THE STATUES
THAT HAD BEEN MADE OF HIM...
Archie: HAD HIS FACE
SCRATCHED OFF
OF HIS SARCOPHAGUS!
SO MAYBE THERE IS
A CURSE AFTER ALL.
MAYBE IT'S
THE PICTURES!
MAYBE HE'S COME
BACK TO LIFE
BECAUSE HE WANTS ME
TO DESTROY MY PICTURES.
GRR!
[ALL GASP]
COME ON, NEZZERBEEN,
LOOK, LOOK!
[PANTING]
HURRY, ARCHIE!
HURRY!
[PANTING]
THAT'S IT!
OH, NO! NOW WHAT?
BUT THAT'S ALL OF THEM!
I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE!
STUPID ROPE!
GRR!
I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!
I--[GASPS]
THERE! THERE, THERE!
AAH!
[GASPS] HUH?!
Archie:
IT WAS THAT SIMPLE.
I HAD FOUND
ANOTHER WEIRD MYSTERY.
AND, THANKS TO VERONICA,
I SOLVED IT
IN THE NICK OF TIME.
Archie: WE HAD A LOT
OF EXPLAINING
TO DO IN THE MORNING,
BUT, FORTUNATELY, RONNIE'S
ALLOWANCE WAS ENOUGH
TO COVER THE DAMAGE.
BETTY HAD FINISHED HER PART
OF THE ASSIGNMENT
THAT NIGHT WITHOUT ME,
AND I WAS LEFT
TO FINISH MY HALF
OF THE WORK ALONE.
AFTER BETATITI--UH,
I MEAN, AFTER BETTYHEARD
WHAT I HAD BEEN THROUGH,
SHE KNEW I WOULDN'T BE
PUTTING THINGS OFF ANYMORE.
I DIDN'T WANNA BE LIKE
KING NEZZERBEEN,
ALWAYS MISERABLE FOR
STUPIDLY PROCRASTINATING.
AND MAYBE THE PHARAOH
CAN REST EASIER NOW
KNOWING THAT SOMEONE LEARNED
FROM HIS MISTAKES,
EVEN 3,000 YEARS
AFTER THE FACT...
IN A LITTLE TOWN
CALLED RIVERDALE.