Aquaman (1967–…): Season 1, Episode 16 - Programmed by Destruction/The War of the Quatix and the Bimphars/Evil Is as Evil Does - full transcript

(male narrator)
Aquaman, swift and powerful
monarch of the ocean.

With ability to summon
and command

all creatures of the deep.

Aquaman, who with his
teenage ally, Aqualad

guards and defends
all that lives in the seas

against the forces of evil.

Aquaman,
King of the Seven Seas.

[theme music]

On a desolate shoreline
of an uncharted island

within a mountain
of its apparently solid rock

is the new scientific
laboratory of that evil



mathematical genius

and arch enemy
of Aquaman, The Brain.

Now, my magnificent computer

is programmed with every
known fact about Aquaman.

(computer)
Ready. Operational.

Good.

In a moment, we shall have

a scientific formula
for his destruction.

Listen closely. Question.

How can Aquaman be destroyed?

(computer)
Answer. Use positive buoyancy.

Ray make Aquaman
float to surface.

Totally helpless.

Beautiful.



Now, what is the main ingredient
for a positive buoyancy ray?

(computer)
Answer.

Oximite...mined
from deep sea emeralds.

Ah-ha! At last,
control of the seas is mine.

Everyone, board the sub!

Captain, plot a course
to the gem depository

while I plot
the doom of Aquaman.

(male narrator)
Now in the Aquacave,
headquarters for Aquaman

a light flashes
on his underwater

detection system board.

That main explosion..

Grid co-ordinance
X-ray 3-0-9 Kilo-14.

Leapin' Lampreys, Aquaman.
That's--

The gem depository. Let's go.

[theme music]

[explosion]

I'll sneak up on them alone,
Aqualad.

You follow with Tusky
and the horses.

[neighing]

bam

Fire viscosity gun, quick!

zap

That ray...made the water
like chewing gum.

I...can't...move...in it.

swoosh

Aquaman. Attack!

[zapping]

zap zap

bam

Aqualad. Tusky.

zap

I can't...maneuver...at all.

[laughs]

Trapped like jellied eels.

That will hold them
long enough to distill

the oximite from the emerald.

Then, we'll come back
and finish them for good.

Full speed ahead.

Jumpin' jellyfish.

This time, we're really stuck.

Not for long, Tadpole.

(male narrator)
Still struggling,
the sea king sends out

and urgent telepathic call
for the wizards of the deep.

The Dolphins.

How can they help us, Aquaman?

Listen.

High frequency sound waves.

Right. See how they break up
the molecules of this goo.

Great! I can move now.

Not much time left
to stop The Brain.

Come on.

[dramatic music]

[buzzing]

Fifteen micro gram units
of pure oximite.

'Now, into the laser gun.'

Now, to test that positive
buoyancy ray..

'Watch that mountain of rock.'

zap

It worked!

And now to make
Aquaman and Aqualad

float to the surface..

'Standby.'

What's that?

Just what I was
afraid of, Aqualad.

The Brain has discovered
the secret of positive buoyancy.

This, Tadpole,
is the big fight.

'Let's go, troops.'

[dramatic music]

zap

Scatter!

Forget the fish! Hit Aquaman.

'Get out there
and pin him down somehow.'

[zapping]

Aqualad, look out!

zap

(Aqualad)
'Help! I'm floating up.'

[burbling]

Only one way
to deal with that.

Come on, Cyclops, ol' buddy.

I've got a job for you.

'Hope The Brain doesn't know
a fish like you exists.'

When I give the signal,
open up that

one big beautiful eye of yours.

He's heading for us
on a weird fish.

Now.

[zapping]

Bulls eye!

[gurgling]

Thanks, ol' buddy.

- Abandon ship!
- 'And get out quick.'

- 'Out of control.'
- Abandon ship!

I'll reverse its polarity.
Throw it on wide beam.

And release my team.

zap

We can swim again. Back
in the ol' ball game. Let's go.

Welcome home, Minnow.

Thanks, Aquaman.

[explosion]

Did The Brain get out
in time, Aquaman?

If he did, it'll be a while
before he shows up again.

[barking]

[Aquaman and Aqualad laugh]

[theme music]

(male narrator)
In just a moment,
we'll return

with another exciting adventure
featuring a guest star

from the galaxy of super,
superhero.

[theme music]

By authority of the mystique
guardians of the universe

on the far distant Planet Oa

Hal Jordan, test pilot
becomes The Green Lantern!

A cosmic crusader
whose magical power-ring

and his bidding
accomplishes the impossible.

In his continuing fight
against interplanetary evil.

Green Lantern!

Guardian of the Galaxy.

[buzzing]

(male narrator)
Planet Oa,
center of the universe.

There, on the great
central hall

beneath Oa's great
cosmic power battery..

...the Immortal Guardians
of the universe are troubled.

There may be only moments.
We must warn Green Lantern.

[dramatic music]

(male narrator)
Now, in a sleek rocket craft..

...high above Planet Earth

Green Lantern in his guise
of test pilot Hal Jordan

gets the message.

- Take heed, Green Lantern.
- I hear you, Guardian.

Evil Star has escaped
galactic confinement.

- Beware!
- Evil Star? Wow!

Better get down fast.

[music continues]

- What's up, boss?
- Big trouble, Kairo.

- Green Lanterns-ville, huh?
- You know it.

(male narrator)
Meanwhile, the interplanetary
lord of crime

Evil Star, streaks order.

[laughing]

Soon, all on Earth
shall know my star band

surpasses any power
in the universe.

Let those who worship evil's
might, beware my power

Green Lantern's light.

Ha-ha!

[evil laughter]

Yeow! What gives?

Evil Star.

Outside, Kairo, hurry.

(policeman)
Gun him down.

[gun firing]

They're frozen solid.

And I'm next!

Not if I can help it.

boom

We meet again, Green Lantern.

zap

Try my beam for size, Evil Star.

Hey!

I shall consume you
with my star fire.

Ah! I think you need a lift.

[screams]

whirr whirr

I will have my revenge
on the Guardians themselves.

You sure showed
Evil Star who's boss.

Right, boss?

Not for long, Kairo.

He's plotting mischief on Oa.

I better get up there
as soon as I give my ring

a full 24 hour charge.

Great Nebula!
The Power Lantern's gone dead.

(Kairo)
'Wait, Green Lantern..'

...with my radio

sometimes this makes it work.

bang

Ha-ha! Good work, Kairo.

Charge up while it's hot.

zap

(Kairo)
'Why is it flickering?'

I'm afraid that means
Evil Star's already on Oa.

Come on, Kairo.

Up we go!

[dramatic music]

That should hold up
Green Lantern.

Now to take care
of the Guardians.

swoosh

- Evil Star!
- The same.

Now, Guardians of the Universe..

'...since there is no one
to protect you..'

Don't you believe it,
Evil Star.

zap

zap

swoosh

click

Great Galaxy, my ring.

Without this you are powerless.

Now, I control the universe..

- O-oh!
- Catch, boss.

Got it.

Meddler! You'll pay for that.

zap

Party's over, Evil Star.

We'll see about that.

bam

(Kairo)
'Get him, G.L.'

(Evil Star)
Try and catch me

while there is still time.

Time? What did he mean by that?

I fear Evil Star plans to keep
Green Lantern occupied..

...until the 24 hour limit
of his ring's power has elapsed.

[dramatic music]

[ring beeping]

zap

That should keep you
busy for a while.

Your wasting your effort,
Evil Star.

No. I'm wasting your time.

Let's see you handle
my light force beam.

Got...got to get out
of this fast.

swish swish

Alright.

Have you enough time left
to overcome this?

[bubbling]

[blazing]

zap

[explosion]

I'm tired of playing games,
Evil Star.

zap

Ah! Ah!

Now, let's test your power.

Ah! No, stop.

Come on, Evil Star.

Fire another blast
from your star band now.

No, no. It will destroy me.

Back to Galactic Jail for you,
Evil Star.

- Good job, Green Lantern.
- Take his star band, Kairo.

With pleasure, boss.

This bubble will hold him
until he's returned

to Galactic confinement.

We thank you, Green Lantern.

Always at your service,
Guardians of the Universe.

Let's go home, Kairo.

zap

(male narrator)
Coming up next..

More action packed adventures
with Aquaman

King of the Seven Seas.

Featuring Aqualad
and Tusky the walrus.

[neighing]

Come on, Tusky.
I'll race ya home.

What's up, Aquaman?

Top secret assignment, let's go.

Check.

[intense music]

This, Aquaman, is Planet Q-344.

Newly discovered
by our exploration satellite.

'As you can see its surface
is entirely covered with water.'

Our instruments show
there is intelligent life

of some kind on Q-344.

But we have
no conventional means

for exploring
an all water planet.

- 'Will you do it for us?'
- Yes, commander, we will.

- When?
- Right now.

(male narrator)
A short while later, Aquaman

and Aqualad and Tusky..

...loaded into
a specially designed

water-filled space capsule..

...are taken aboard a giant
interplanetary rocket ship.

[blazing]

And blast off for the great
unknown of Planet Q-344.

(man on radio)
'Final instructions, Aquaman.'

'After detaching
your capsule..'

'...mothership will orbit
the planet for three hours.'

- 'Repeat, three hours.'
- Roger.

What happens
if we don't get back

to the mothership on time,
Aquaman?

We'll be stranded, Minnow.

Permanently stranded
in outer space.

(man on radio)
'Approaching Q-344,
standby for launch.'

'Five, four, three..'

'...two, one.'

'Launch.'

zoom

[theme music]

splash

Now remember, Tadpole.

Herewe are strangers,
who maybe considered invaders.

- 'So, be careful.'
- Will do.

Leaping lampreys, this water is
freezing! It's almost like ice.

Up here, Minnow,
it's boiling hot.

This is just about right.
Come on.

Boy, that looks good.
I'm hungry.

Holy mackerel!

Great Cronion!

Can't communicate with them.

[intense music]

(male narrator)
Meanwhile, back at the
satellite station on Earth..

Aquaman's exploration team
was released and landed here.

The mothership has
begun its orbit.

Now, the rendezvous
will take place here.

If they make it.

If they make it.

- Let us out of here.
- No.

You are spies for the Bimphabs.
You must die.

We are from Planet Earth.
We never heard of Bimphabs.

We don't even know who you are.

We are Quatix.
We do not stand erect.

Bimphabs have legs
and stand erect as you do.

Bimphabs are enemies.
You are Bimphabs.

Death to the Bimphabs.

Take them to the cave
of the Krial.

Whatever is a Krial, Aquaman?

If I can get these bars apart

another inch or so,
we won't have to find out.

- Aquaman, it-it--
- It's a Squid.

A monster Squid.

[barking]

Yeah! Now, go!

[intense music]

Let's wrap him up for story.

bam

Gallopin' guppies, Aquaman.
What are they?

The Bimphabs.

bash bash

bang

bang bang

The stranger is fighting
the Bimphabs.

Come, we must help him.

He is awake?

[barking]

Land? But I thought
this planet was all water.

All, but for this small island.

Because we Bimphabs
can live on land and in water

the Quatix hate us.

You will help us defeat them?

Oh, now, wait a minute. I--

If you help us,
we will rescue your friend

from the Quatix.

If you do not,
you will both die.

Not much time left
to make our rendezvous.

Okay, let's go find Aquaman.

You want me to help you
defeat the Bimphabs?

Yes, Aquaman,
if you do not help us

you and your friend
may never leave this planet.

Time is running out.

Alright, let's go.

Aquaman to Aqualad.

- Go ahead, Aquaman.
- Standby to break away.

(Aquaman)
'Now, go.'

[whirring]

Good job, Minnow. Now, let's
have a peace conference.

(Bimphab #1)
'Do not move.'

Oh, this is for us to settle,
not you.

Wrong, gentleman.
This is for him to settle.

(both)
The Krial!

But-but how?

The Krial is exactly
like an Earth squid.

I sent him a telepathic message.

Stop him.
He will kill us.

(Bimphab #2)
'Help us. Help us.'

Alright, but rember, one war
like act by either of you

and that Krial will strike.

- We will work out an agreement.
- Yes, we will.

Put them down.

Aqualad, Tusky, to the capsule.

Hurry.

[gurgling]

- Will we make it?
- By a catfish whisker.

whoosh

- Peace.
- Peace.

[theme music]

[music continues]