Aquí no hay quien viva (2003–2006): Season 1, Episode 8 - Érase un indigente - full transcript
Marisa, come on!
Bring the mussels, we’re starting
I can’t get the tin to open!
It’s like a grenade, look!
The ring came off in my hand
And they put easy-open on it. We ought to report all of them
These things really piss me off!
You’re always angry
I’m gonna lend you a book that’ll change your lives
Well if it’s Kama Sutra, it’s kind of late for that
No! It’s called The Universe and Me
What’s important is karma
You have to do good because we all form part of a single cosmic energy
the nicer everything is, the better your karma
but if you shout and get angry, you get bad karma
And you end up reeincarnating as worse stuff
and your spirit isn’t in harmony with the universe
I’ll get you it so you can read it
It’s worked wonders for me
What pills is she taking?
How do I know? She prescribes them to herself
Let’s have a glass of chinchón
Sure, maybe it’ll give us a bit of cosmic energy
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Every day’s like this
and I couldn’t imagine it when I moved here
All I was looking for was a bit of peace and quiet
And I wake up every day in the middle of a hurricane
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone
The house is falling down about my feet
The caretaker’s nowhere to be found
The neighbours watch everything I do
I can’t take this place
Put together a cocktail shaker
thunder and lightning, an earthquake, and a volcano
and you’ll get this staircase
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Alright Emilio
Hey, what’s up?
I heard Lucía expelled you from school
No, it was just a silly fight
Right, but she’s kicked you out though
These posh girls when they get angry...
No! Seriously, I’ve come to make up with her
Do you know if she’s in?
Yeah, go up
Is something wrong?
No...well, I dunno, go up
Go on, go up
Hey, come on, you can’t sleep there
Beat it!
What’s your problem?
No, I just think you’d be more comfortable elsewhere
because here people are constantly coming in and out, they might trample on you
Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?
Do you think you’re better than me?
No, I was just saying...
Piss off!
We’ve got a problem
I can see that
That bloke’s squatting there and he’s getting kind of aggressive
Leave it to me. I know how to deal with these people
Excuse me! I’m the president of the community
Go fuck yourself!
Right...but you can’t stay here you know
Why not?
Because you’re not in keeping with the aesthetics of the building
Look here, dickhead, you don’t own the pavement
Anyway, are you gonna make me move?
Er Emilio, I need to go
I haven’t got time for this
I’m always having to do everything, you sort this out yourself
But this man can’t stay here
What am I gonna do with this bloke for God’s sake?
Lucía, it’s me
Hi, hi
I’ve come for my things
How are you gonna carry them then?
Well, a few things at a time, there’s no rush, is there?
Anyway, I think we should...
Lucía, I can see you two wanna talk, so I’ll come back another time
What’s he doing here?
What’s it to you?
I’m helping Lucía get through this difficult period
prompted by the dismal failure of a relationship
she’d placed so much hope in
Fuck, you talk the talk, don’t you?
Would you be so kind, if it’s not too much trouble
to leave my girlfriend and me alone for a minute
so we can talk
eh...you little shithead!
Hey Roberto! - No, no
Leave him, I understand his frustration
I’ll call you later - Ok
What do you mean you’ll call her later? What’s your problem?
You’re being childish
I can see how badly you’re hurting!
It’s been less than a week and you’ve already brought another guy home
Hey, I’m going through a hard time as well you know
Anyways, Carlos is a friend
No, he’s an ex
and an ex can never be a friend
They’re vultures waiting to pounce on the poor, defenceless prey
Ok fine!
Also, since you’ve already slept with one of your ex’s
sleep with me!
Look, I haven’t slept with anyone!
Anyway, didn’t you come to pick up your stuff?
Hell yeah
I’ll go get everything right now
You can do what you like as far as I’m concerned
But how could you date that loser?
I don’t know
Maybe because he’s smart, sophisticated, sensitive, nice, and attentive!
What great reasons!
Right, that’s it, I’m going
Is that all you’re gonna take? Your toothbrush!
And my shaving cream
And tomorrow I’ll come get the TV and DVD player
The DVD player’s mine
Well, for the TV then
Good luck connecting the DVD player without it
I’m gonna buy a plasma TV
Great, enjoy
How many inches is the screen? - 42
No shit!
Right well I’ll be back tomorrow
I don’t know what time I can drop by
No, hang on
I’ve packed a few boxes for you and I’ll call Emilio
to get him to help you take them down
Ok fine
I thought you were gonna fix things with your girlfriend
Come on, show a bit of consideration, I’ve got a bad back
Well making up takes time
Leave it to me
Well if you do make up, you can the boxes back upstairs by yourself
Plus, if you’re gonna be arguing all the time, change to the first floor, dammit!
Shit, we’re only going to your flat
What are we going there for?
Because I’m gonna sleep at your place tonight
That dick’s not nicking my girlfriend
But I’ve only got one bed!
Well, we’ll work something out
What’s going on? What are you doing?
Nothing
Lucía’s kicked him out of the flat
so he’s taking away his stuff
Ah sure
You could see this coming
I didn’t want to say anything because it’s none of my business
but you’ve done well even to stay together this long!
Anyway, I’m sorry, though
It’s a shame, such a shame
I told you! Exactly 2 months
Don’t be a busybody! Show a bit of respect please
Juan, the couple upstairs have split up!
What did you go and say that for, man?
Don’t be such a gossip!
She got it out of me like a pro
Mum, I’m home
Where have you been?
Collecting my car from the workshop
That was some bill I had to pay
Relax!
I’ve done something to help us save
I called the TV company and cancelled our membership
You did what?
It was such a dstraction for the boy
And for me too, that’s why we got it installed!
Yesterday I caught him watching a dirty film
And you say he shows no interest in learning
Anyway, what does it matter?
That’s what I said
I can still watch it online
Well no more internet then either
Shut up, will you
Look Mum, I don’t know how you manage it
but you make all the joy in my life disappear in the blink of an eye
Right, sure, everything’s always my fault
Where am I gonna watch tomorrow’s football match now?
I’m telling you Goerge Clooney is definitely gay, and Ben Afflect as well
What do you know about it?
Fernando, you can see in their attitude, their hairstyle, what they wear
So everybody who wears expnsive clothing is gay, is that it?
No, Jesus Gil isn’t
Hi neighbour! - Hi
Hey, you’ve got satellite TV, right?
Well we’ve only got the antenna but the signal’s good
Right. That’s it then. Are you gonna watch the match tomorrow?
What match?
The football match, man!
Ah, the match! Sure!
How could we miss it?
Ok in that case I’ll call by and watch it with you guys. If you don’t mind that is
No, of course not, you’re welcome
What’s another screaming fan if there are already two?
Ok, I’ll be here at half eight to catch the build up
Alright, see you later
What’s the build up?
So we’ve got to sit through the football match with the neighbour?
Well, it’s best not to arouse suspicion, right?
What, you mean anyone who doesn’t like football in this country has to be gay?
Well yeah, that’s a pretty widespread view
But the worst thing is I don’t know anything about football
Me neither but we can learn, can’t we?
I’ve never seen a full match in all my life
The only thing I like about football is when they do the Mexican wave
Look, I’ll explain it you
It’s 11 versus 11
You play with a ball
and the idea is to score goals
Thanks a lot, now I understand perfectly
Seriously Fernando, you keep getting yourself in a right old mess
and the worst thing is you have to drag me into it as well
Well listen, we’ve got one day to become real football fans
Anyway, we only have to pretend for an hour
Ah so a football match only lasts an hour?
Something like that, right?
What a treat we’ve got in store for us
He’s gay too, I’m sure of it
You’re so annoying, you know that
Right, let’s go over the plan for the weekend once again
Your mother and I are going to the wedding of a second cousin of hers
who I didn’t know even existed
Right
And we’ll be coming back the day after tomorrow
In other words, you’re going to be left on your own
Right again
Being modern parents
we’re going to place our trust in you, kids
because we honestly believe that now...
Paloma, can’t we stay?
No Juan! We’ve already bought them the present
Plus, the hotel’s free
and I’ve never been to Valencia!
Kids, can we trust you?
No, but you’ve got no choice
Come on, let’s go honey
What if we asked them to send us the wedding video?
They’re bound to put is in the back row!
Will you please walk out that door
and stop stressing me out!
And you two, behave yourselves and don’t get into trouble
Kisses for mummy and daddy’s little angels
Oh and don’t touch the phone!
What are you doing still here!
I thought you were outside with the car
You must have been through a lot in your life, am I right?
Fuck!
Vicenta, leave this gentleman alone
He’s got enough problems to think about
You need to achieve nirvana and we’re going to help you
Come upstairs with us and we’ll give you some food
What? We can’t take him upstairs!
Emilio, we’re off, has the tramp gone yet?
Not likely! He’s still there
What tramp?
Some homeless bloke who’s squatting by the front door
Oh, no way! That man can’t stay there!
A beggar by the door looks really bad, Juan
Right, I know
- Good morning - Where are you taking that man?
We’re going to give him some food
She doesn’t know what to do to lose her virginity anymore
Marisa, please!
I don’t care about sex at all, ok
Me neither
Juan, you can’t let them take that beggar in!
What do you want me to do about it?
These ladies aren’t right in the head
We ought to let social services know so they can take care of them
What, you want them to persuade them to go into a care home?
Or force them. What do I care?
Then we can buy their flat off them for peanuts
and make a duplex
Come on, let’s go
I’ve got a bad feeling about this
Marisa, look how he’s enjoying his food
See how little it takes to make someone happy
Little! You’ve given him our best wine
That’s what nice about it! Giving to those less fortunate
Bollocks, let the royals help him
Marisa! We’ve got a TV, video player, and a fridge
Why can’t we have a beggar?
Where are we supposed to plug him in then?
How’s the food? Everything ok?
What’s for dessert?
Marisa, get out the rice pudding
No, not that, that’s mine
Oh, well some cake with a coffee then
Ok, fine
Would you like anything else, sir?
Yes, the bill. Just kidding!
Can I come for dinner tonight?
Of course. You can eat here whenever you like
Isidro, listen, does being a tramp...
run in the family?
I go in my house and the guy’s there coming out of the bathroom
Naked? - No, in clothes
He’s helping Lucía to get through the break up
Ok, ok, fine
He wants to bang her
No he doesn’t!
Yeah, he wants to bang her!
He doesn’t! - He does, for fuck’s sake!
Alright then, he does, and so does him
No I don’t, all I said was now that you and Lucía have broken up
maybe I could help her get back on her feet
Not another one!
Sure, that way you’d be Paco de Lucía
Look, man, let’s get things straight, your girlfriend’s hot
Really hot
She’s smoking hot
And now she’s single
Look, there he is, he makes me sick
He’s handsome though, right?
And check out his bike!
Nah, that’s all shitty plastic, can’t you see?
Alright!
And he’s messing with you to top it off!
Listen if some guy came
and tried to nick my girlfriend right to my face
I’d get his rearview mirror and do this to it
What do you think you’re doing?
What has to be done!
Yeah, fuck it! And to hell with this windscreen as well!
Take some of that!
Hey, someone could see us!
I can’t get used to the idea that it’s over
between Roberto and me from one day to the next
You dropped me from one day to the next
Yeah, well, I fell in love with Roberto, what do you expect?
We all make mistakes
Hey, let’s open up the tank and take a piss in it!
Whereabouts is it?
Hey, come on, please, I’m begging you
leave the bike alone!
Help me stand it back up!
Come on, give me a hand, Emilio, please!
Hey, where are you going? This thing weighs a ton!
What the...do you need help?
What are you playing at?
Er I saw some guys push it over
and run away
Are you dumb or what?
Ready?
Right, 1, 2, 3
Goal!
How was that?
Rubbish, we’re not feeling it! It looks fake
Well sorry but I did it really well
What? Have you seen how you celebrate?
You look like a cheerleader! All you’re missing are the pompoms
What about you then?
You looked like you were on a float on Gay Pride Day
Come on, let’s focus
Please Fernando, call him and cancel. This is gonna be terrible
Let’s carry on watching the match
See that? That’s a foul
So what they have to do is take a shot at goal
But what are those 5 doing standing there playing with their balls?
That’s the wall
Ew! Gross! Did you see that?
He did this and left it!
Come on man, don’t look at that!
Really! Afterwards it’ll stay on the ground!
It’s essential to learn the players’ names
Look, that’s Fernando Torres
- The black guy? - No, the other one, the blond
He’s hot
See? That’s just the type of comment you need to avoid making
Fuck this is hard, seriously
Come on, quiet
Now the ones in yellow have got the ball, ok?
So they try and pass it, open up the pitch
take it to the other end and finish off the move
But if the other team steal the ball, that’s called a counterattack
Can you tell me what you’re doing?
Trying to burp. Cos I’ve seen them in the bar
They yell, swear, drink, and burp
God, this isn’t gonna go well
Did you hear that? Wow, I’m great at burping!
I never knew, I’m so excited!
Great
8 balls with 26 to get bingo all afternoon and nothing
Seriously, it’s like they do it on purpose
Ok kids, here’s the second course
What on earth’s going on here?
Isidro’s brought some friends round for dinner
Hey, as you’re on your feet, how about bringing us a bit more water?
With ice!
Vicenta, can you come here for a second?
Yeah, think about what you want for dessert
Flan, cake, or curds
All 3 for me
What’s up?
Why have you let 4 strangers into the house?
They’re not strangers, they’re friends of Isidro
But what the fuck do we know about Isidro?
Don’t you remember? He came round for lunch today
Sure, I remember
Marisa, we’re doing a good turn
We’re making fools of ourselves you mean
Relax, as soon they’ve finished eating, they’ll go. You’ll see
Hey, what’s on telly tonight?
I saw a pack of cards, we could have a game
Oh well, listen, as long as no-one else comes...
They’re coming! - Move!
They’ve got a convertible now
Fucking hell! Son of a bitch!
What a motherfucker!
Thanks
Mind the door because it’s right on the lamp post
I don’t know if you can get out
Yeah, it’s not gonna scratch
Don’t even joke about that
Hang on! - Look out! - My leg!
That’s it
Let’s get out of here before they see us
Thanks a lot for the dinner
It’s really done me a world of good to go out and get a bit of fresh air
I hope I wasn’t poor company
You’re always good company
That’s so nice what he just said
He’s working on her
What you need to do now is move on
forget about Roberto and live your life
If something happens with someone else, go with it
You’re a wonderful woman and you deserve the best
This guy’s a master, he’s gonna be sleeping in your bed tonight, man
Yeah but I don’t feel good about breaking up with Roberto the way I did
But why not? It’s his fault, he’s immature, childish and stupid
The sad thing is it’s taken you this long to find that out
What the fuck! That’s it, let me go!
Seriously, he’s laying it on thick
I want you to know that you’ve got a friend in me...for whatever you need
and forever
Well - Well
He’s gonna stick his tongue right down the back of her throat
See you tomorrow
Shall I call you tomorrow and we can have dinner together?
Ok
Or we could go to the cinema...or to the theatre
To the theatre! - The theatre
- Alright - Ok, I’ll call you tomorrow
Is that it? What a let down
But she still loves you
Yeah, at least until tomorrow
Well? What now then? Did you see?
She still thinks about me
Look, don’t fool yourself, all you’ve gained is time
I’ll help you get her back because I like you
Just in future rewind the films before returning them
Javi? What’s up, it’s Paco
Listen, where are you guys?
You need to come here for a bit
Who’s he calling?
Roberto wants to get back with Lucía
Give him another chance, he didn’t know what he was doing
He really loves you, I feel so bad for him
You’ve got to forgive him or he’s gonna slit his wrists
Oh Lucía, oh Lucía, oh Lucía forgive him now
He’s down and out and in a mess here in the porch
If Roberto ever steps out of line again
Don’t kick him out again, make him sleep on the sofa
Hey, if you wanna sing, go find a karaoke bar! It’s late!
Come on, show a bit of compassion
These two lovebirds are making up, dammit!
Aw, how nice...why should I care? Get out of here!
Roberto!
Paco, you’ve already done enough, I wanna be alone
No, the music group need a tip
You’re enjoying making fun of me!
That’s real love, everything else is just silly games
That guitar player had great legs
Well, what are you gonna do with this guy?
I don’t know. To be honest, no-one’s ever done all this for me before
I don’t know if he’s off his nut or he really loves me
I reckon both
Ok, tomorrow when he comes round for the TV, I’ll tell him to stay
Aw, how sweet!
Hey, if next time you wanna make up with him, I know a mariachi guy
Really? What would he do for me?
You can’t sleep in Emilio’s place!
Stay here, my parents are away
Alright, I’ll crash on the sofa
Don’t be stupid man, sleep in their bed
Whose bed?
My parents’
No, it’d freak me out
Come on man, they’re not monsters
Alright then
Wow, look who’s here
I thought you were going out drinking
Yeah but if there’s a guest, he’ll need a host
Right well I’m gonna hit the sack
cos tomorrow I’ve gotta get up early...
Good night - Thanks man
You back off ok cos he’s my mate and he’s going through a hard time
Why, what did I do?
Don’t play dumb with me, I’m not Dad
Come on, get to bed!
To your bed I mean!
My mind’s a mess with all these names
I’m too old to study
Some go by their first name, others by their surname
others by their nickname, and hang on
I just found out that Butragueño’s retired
And then they moan that there are no decent strikers
Hey!
What? Sorry, I’m listening to a football programme
What fun! Is that your plan for tonight?
Yeah, do you wanna an earphone?
If I’ve got no choice
Hey, remember this expression: double pivot
What’s that then?
No idea but it sounds really technical, right?
Double pivot
Roberto
What are you playing at? Are you crazy?
It’s such a turn on, right? You and me alone in my parents’ bed
Yeah...er I mean no, I’d better go
Relax dude!
Today’s not your lucky day
Look, I feel bound to tell you
that your approach with Lucía is all wrong
You’re crawling and us women don’t like that
Oh really?
Yeah, playing the cry baby’s only good for liars
Do you wanna get Lucía back?
Well blow her off
Yeah but if I blow her off, she’s gonna think I’ve moved on
Right, that’s it
Sure...I don’t get it
You’re a man, you don’t need to understand
Listen, it’s like a poker game
Lucía’s got better cards than you
What do you do in this kind of situation?
Fold
No! Bluff!
Lucía has to think you’ve got your life back together
that you’re dating someone else
But who am I gonna date?
I don’t know, we’ll think of someone
Good night
Come on, show a bit of consideration
Line up in the queue
Come on, you here, like this, in the queue!
You can’t smoke here!
Hold on...this is a joint
Right smartass, you go to the back of the queue
Paco, what are you doing queuing up?
If Vicenta’s giving people breakfast, this way I can save on my croissant
Emilio, have you seen Marisa?
Because I sent her for muffins and she’s not come back!
Muffins! You should be down here sorting this out!
I’m here now, dammit!
This is crazy. No-one’s gonna believe this
Come on, get out of the way, I can’t get through
Out of the way!
For God’s sake, I’m gonna drop the muffins, dammit!
I can’t take any more of this
Señor Cuesta...yes, I know you’re at a wedding
But the building’s full of tramps!
Oh Juan, this is scary, where are we?
Wait a second, sweetheart
I can’t see any church, I’m gonna miss the entrance of the bride
which is the best part, Juan
Look Emilio, how many beggars are we talking about?
How do I know? This is like the set to Operación Triunfo
What should I do?
Let me think for a second
For God’s sake! Can’t I leave you lot alone?
All these stones! I don’t know where you’ve brought me!
Why don’t we ask someone?
Who? We’re in the middle of nowhere
Oh, my phone! That’ll be my cousin
wanting to know where we’ve got to. And we’re lost!
Emilio, tell Vicenta not to feed anyone else!
Hello? - Paloma, it’s Concha, your neighbour
Listen, I don’t want to worry you or ruin your wedding
but your daughter Natalia spent the whole night in your flat with the guy from the third floor
What are you talking about?
You love making up stories, don’t you?
Right now I’m watching them have breakfast together
I’ll let you decide what to do
That’ll make her choke on her wedding cake
I’m in shock!
No breakfast and no other meals! You need to intercept those muffins!
Juan, Natalia’s slept with him from upstairs
What?
Under our own roof!
Our little girl’s been soiled and under our own roof!
Get in the car!
What about the wedding?
- Sod the wedding! Take me home! - What a mess!
I’ve told you before, this is what comes from you neglecting your kids!
Hey, it’s your cousin’s wedding, not mine
It’s your fault, you always cater to my every whim
Drive! The other way! Back up!
Blow her off, blow her off, blow her off
it’s over, I’m with someone else...she’ll never believe it
Hi - Hi
I’ve come for my Simpsons alarm clock
I won’t be a minute
No, listen, it’s alright
I wanted to talk with you as well
No, I already know what you’re gonna say
But you don’t need to worry, I won’t bother you anymore
Wait, seriously it’s not that
It’s just I think the best thing...
was for us to break up! Now you’ve made a new life for yourself
with that cocksucker Carlos and I accept that
I haven’t made a new life for myself with anyone. It’s just that...
Fine! I get it, you feel sorry for me
Well don’t worry, I’m dating someone else now too
Who?
Someone
Things are going great for us
Can I know who she is?
I’m not telling you
Right! Come on, you’re making it up, you’re lame
Look, sorry, I’ve gotta run cos I’m meeting someone
Fine
Nice try but no cigar
Hey, I don’t know what kind of relationships you’re used to
but I don’t like being made to wait
Ok, come on, let’s go
No!
Yeah!
No! No way!
How can he be dating a 17 year old?
Well because that 17 year old’s been out to get him since you moved here
Plus, Radio Courtyard says they spent the night together
And that’s like hearing it from the horse’s mouth
Fuck! And I wanted to forgive him as well
No, I guess Carlos was right
Roberto’s so immature
Who’s Carlos?
My ex, he’s helping me get through this
And how’s he helping you exactly?
By giving you his shoulder to cry on or something harder than that?
Hey, come on! Can’t you be friends with an ex?
- Never - It’s so lame
Not even I have stooped that low
He just wants to get you in his bed and you know it
You’re so bad
Well tonight we’re gonna have dinner together
but nothing’s gonna happen
Sure, nothing
And if it does happen, so what? I’m single now
I can do as I please
Come on, you’re crazy about Roberto
Me, crazy about him!
No, not anymore. Anyways, he must be so happy going to pick up his girlfriend from school
So are you two together then or not?
No way! It was a ploy
Well, nice one, she’s meeting her ex tonight
Yeah but she got jealous, right?
which means we make a good couple
But what’s the point in making her jealous if she already wanted to get back with you?
I told you the music would work!
Nah, how could that work?
You’ve screwed things up for me! All of you!
Right, come on, we’ll help you...
No thanks, I’d rather you didn’t do anything
Just leave me alone
You heard! He said to leave him alone
Yeah, we need to do something
Hey, why don’t we have a party at my place and put them together?
They won’t wanna go
Sure they will, how can they miss your birthday?
What birthday?
Don’t you turn 30 next month? Well, we’ll bring it forward
No shit, 30 already?
Yeah, what’s the big deal?
- She doesn’t look it, does she? - No
Come on, let’s arrange it
I bet if the 2 of them get left alone, they’ll make up
I don’t wanna celebrate anything though!
I’ll go get a cake
Hey, what are we gonna about her ex? Because they’re supposed to be meeting
Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him
Listen you lot, I’m not celebrating anything this year!
You got that?
Hey Belén, I haven’t had time to buy you anything
Keep away from me!
She’s feeling affectionate today
They’re friends of Vicenta’s
But what’s she done? Emilio, this is a disgrace!
I’ve got to wait in a queue just to go up to my flat
Well, take the lift
I can’t, there’s 2 men sleeping in there
What’s all this? It’s like the ticket office at the Bernebeu
Finally!
Juan, we’d only just sanded down the staircase!
We get invaded and you 2 are off at a wedding!
I’m gonna put an end to this right now!
Let me through, please
Really! Juan, there’s a man here who just touched my butt
Who cares about that now!
But he did something really weird to me with his mouth
Ok, fine!
Hey, no jumping the queue!
I’m the president of the community!
Sure you are. Go back!
Keep going Juan, keep going
Go back to the dump you came from!
Look, they’re all here
Hey, what is there for the second course? Cos I only eat fish
This takes the biscuit! I need to talk with Vicenta right now
Come on, go through!
Not you! You outside!
Juan, he’s stealing my bag!
Oh God! Let go of that right this second, you thug! Thug!
Look, this is Isidro, my first case
Well then, tell us how you got the idea to help the disadvantaged in such a generous way?
Look, we all form part of a single cosmic energy and we have to do good
because if you do good, you feel good
and you pass that energy on to those around you
Haven’t you had any problems with your neighbours?
No, none
Look, this is the president of the building
Hello, what do you think about your neighbour’s lovely initiative?
It’s wonderful. I, Juan Cuesta, president of the community
have supported this initiative from the beginning
because I firmly believe that solidarity and helping one’s neighbours
are the pillars of a society
I’d like to take this opportunity to call on all neighbourhood communities to join...
- Yes, ok, thanks a lot! - and I’m his wife
in case you wanted to ask me any questions
Thank you as well, come on, let’s get out of here
How nice!
Lovely. I want all these people out of here in one hour
But you just said...
It doesn’t matter what I said!
You can’t set up a shelter here!
And the neighbours are fuming!
At the most, you can keep one beggar so choose the one you like the most
Come on, everybody out! The food’s run out
Emilio, clear this area!
Coming! I can’t take any more of this...
Come on Juan, we need to go talk to Natalia
Oh God, I’d forgotten about that, what a mess!
I’ll talk to you in a second
What are you doing here?
What a question!
Natalia, did Roberto spend the night here? Yes or no?
- Yes - Thank goodness, what a weight off my shoulders
What do you mean yes?
You asked me and I told you
Come on, you’re a teenager, at least try and lie a bit!
Juan, our bed’s full of hairs
and I changed the sheets before we left
What happened? He drugged you, right?
And that’s not the worst thing
The worst thing is everyone in the building knows!
We didn’t do anything. He slept in your room and I slept in mine
I can think of few less romantic places for making love than your bed
Me too...but we’re not talking about that now
Jose Miguel, you were here, tell us the truth
You’re brother and sister and within your rights to grass on each other
Dad, it was me who invited Roberto round, she slept with me
Well, being modern parents
we’ll take your word for it
Ah, one more thing. You’re both grounded!
But Juan, look at them, they’re going out!
Yeah, but they know they’re grounded
They’re not going with a clear conscience
Ah, if you say so
Well we could go back to Valencia then
Come on, you’re kidding
No, Mauri, this is too clean
It shouldn’t be this clean
I’ve made some salmon sandwiches with cream cheese
Shall I take out a bottle of white wine or red wine?
No, no wine! Beer!
With football people drink beer
And no salmon sandwiches please
Get out some crisps or something
Sure, so we can cover the sofa in grease
Oh by the way, I’ve got a few handy phrases
My brother gave me them, tell me what you think
For example, open up the pitch!
Or put your foot in!
Or time ref, that’s a good one
And the best one: play it, play it!
Play it, play it!
No, rougher than that...play it, play it!
Ah he’s here
Right, chin up
Ok
Hi
What’s up? Give me 5!
Come in, things are warming up
What’s up man? Let’s see how these pricks do
Yeah, let’s see how they play
Do you want a beer? I’ve already had 6 or 7
Come on, sit your ass down!
Ready for the build up
Everything’s ready, we just need the cake
I’m so nervous
I called Roberto and persuaded him to come
and I told him he doesn’t need to buy you anything, ok Belén?
What a crap birthday
You could at least have called a few more people, couldn’t you?
I did call
And?
Today’s a bad today because people are at work
And also there’s a match: Villareal against Osasuna
This is so depressing
I’m turning 30 early and no-one cares
I care, baby
I’ve bought the cake but I don’t think 30 candles are gonna fit on here
I need a drink
Belén, don’t look so miserable, it’s your birthday
It’s not my birthday!
Belén, I’m here by your side in this crisis
You don’t realise it now but what’s happening between you and me is so nice
Take him away someone, please!
Carlos is here, he’s parking outside
Rightm, everyone in position
- Hi - Hi
Shall we go?
Well actually I thought we could stay here
so I ordered dinner from a Thai restaurant which I know you’re gonna love
Are you trying to hook up with me?
Well, one step at a time
First, I need to get you drunk
French wine
It’ll make all your worries go away
Hey!
Sorry to interrupt
It’s just that today’s Belen’s birthday
so we’re holding a party at our place
And we thought you could come over for a drink
Oh is it your birthday? You never said anything to me!
I forgot
I’m really bad with dates
Yeah, well, she’s turning 30 and everyone’s flaked out on her
There’s a football match on so...
Ok, sure, let’s have a drink, shall we? Do you fancy it?
Er well...I guess..
what about the dinner?
Get them to deliver it there
Ah that wine looks good, bring that with you
Ah...my French wine
Paco! Things are moving along here
What’s going on down there? I can’t hear anything!
We’re trying but it’s not working
Fuck man, it won’t go off
Maybe it hasn’t got an alarm
It must have have an alarm!
What are we gonna do then?
Fuck!
- Emilio! - Send him down!
Shit, he’s hung up me!
That’s my car alarm
This is a really bad neighbourhood
You’re telling me! Lucía, I’ll be right back if nothing’s happened to her
Ok
Quick, hurry up!
Coming!
He’s coming down
He’s out of the picture now
But what if he rings the bell?
You can’t hear it from inside the building, only from outside
Come on, let’s go upstairs, you’re gonna flip
Help!
Is anybody there? Help!
Yes, who’s that?
Listen señora...
No, not señora, señorita...who’s that?
I’m stuck in the lift
Can you help me?
Oh how terrible, boy, the thing is I’m not from round here
I just came to visit my daughter because she’s sick
and I’m in a bad way as well
What are you telling me that for? Get help please!
But who are you boy? I know you
You’re Fran’s boy, aren’t you?
No, listen, we can introduce ourselves later and you can introduce me to Fran as well
but I wanna get out of here please!
Ah, you poor thing, press the button, boy, the button!
I’ve pressed all the buttons!
Tell the caretaker or something!
The caretaker? Oh, ok, but I’ll go slowly, boy
because I’ve got a prothesis in one of my hips and in the other one
I haven’t got anything but I’ve got trouble walking, boy
Don’t you worry now, boy, how terrible, we’ll be right back
And see if someone can look at my car
because the alarm was going off
Open up the pitch for fuck’s sake, you motherfucker!
Mauri’s a big fan, he’s been waiting for this match for months
I can see
That’s some double pivot they’ve got
No, they’re playing with one central midfielder and two wingers
Exactly, no I just wanted to see if you were paying attention
Play it, fuck!
You’re freaking out right? You think I’m like the daughter of the Exorcist
I really feel this shit, you know!
Mauri, calm down
No, don’t do that, don’t do that
- What an idiot!
Play it, play it!
How long till the break?
Yeah that’s it, come on...goal! Have it!
Oh man! What a goal!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Belén, happy birthday to you
Blow!
And now the presents!
No, there aren’t any presents
Ah no? Well...let’s eat the cake!
- I’m on a diet - I don’t like chocolate
I’ve already eaten
Fuck man, this is sadder than when Bambi’s mum dies
To be honest, it is a bit of a strange birthday
You should have seen last year
Yeah, well at least this year, no-one’s given me any teddy bears
She hates teddy bears, I don’t know what they’ve done to you
- Hi! - Fuck!
Why are you here?
What about you? What is this, a set up?
No, we got you together so you can talk in private and sort things out
So it’s a set up!
You got angry over nothing
No, not over nothing, he’s got a big mouth
What about her then? She’s dating another guy
Yeah but at least she’s not being going around pretending to date a 17 year-old
Hey, don’t mess with my sister!
Wouldn’t you like to be half as hot as her!
No, what you can’t do is what Roberto did
start a relationship with someone and then blow them off
Yeah but Lucía gets on at him loads
Life when you’re in a relationship is complicated
What do you know about? - I know loads of stuff about love, right Belén?
Don’t get me involved!
Well, what’s important is that they love each other, right?
But that’s what I was saying, fuck, if you’d just let me speak...
Yeah but they need to talk about this between themselves, it’s not our business
Hey, where are they by the way?
Come on, come on!
Let’s go see!
Look, they’re kissing
It was the music that did it, definitely
How sweet, the bastards
Ref, put your foot it!
They should have made another change
They’ve already made 3
Yeah well, as many as it takes
But what are you blowing for now? This guy’s clueless!
Mauri, that was the final whistle
Ah, it’s flown by for me
Not for me
But we had a good time though, right?
Yeah, what I still don’t get is
which team you two were supporting
Oh, do you support one?
No, what we appreciate is the show. We like Brazil
And Brazilian chicks!
Well, we can do this again whenever you like
Now you know, here we’re football fans to the death
Yeah, to be honest, I’m pretty surprised
Why’s that?
I thought gays didn’t like football
Right, thanks for everything
The location of the the Riojan businessman Isidro Martín Rovira remains unknown
He disappeared from his house on December 25th 2001
Initially, given his vast family fortune
the possibility of a kidnapping was considered likely
However, until now no-one has made contact with the family
and they are continuing to offer 60 thousand euros to anyone who can provide information regarding his whereabouts
Juan! It’s himl!
What? What’s going on?
It’s him! The beggar Vicenta’s got in her house
He’s worth 60 thousand euros
What are you talking about?
Quick, let’s go downstairs, I’ve got the phone
But the phone hasn’t rung
Hello, is Isidro there?
No, he hasn’t come for his dinner yet
We’ve been thinking...you’re bearing all the responsibility for that good man
and naturally we’d like him to invite him round for dinner
because we’ve got loads of extra food, right?
Hey, we saw the TV as well you know
Shut up you idiot!
Those 60 thousand euros are for us because we’ve taken care of him
This is a reward for doing good
We’ve already talked to his family by phone
and tomorrow they’re coming to get him
Hang on a second! That beggar appeared in a public area and he belongs to all the community!
However, if we were to reach an agreement between ourselves
nobody else need know about it
Have you been watching TV? That man we’ve got is worth a fortune!
Mum, it’s none of our business
Juan, shut the door before this place fills with people
Señor Cuesta, the tramp’s minted
God, how many people watch that programme?
Right, well let’s make one thing clear
We’ll share the money between all of us and end of story!
Because I called the programme as well and I’m not gonna look like a fool
But have you stopped to consider
that maybe he doesn’t want to be found?
Well, he can sort that out with his family
Hi! Can I come in?
Hello! Come in! Come in! Go on!
Go through for your dinner, it’s ready, that’s it, through there
Make sure he sleeps here tonight
He can’t leave the building, is that clear?
You got that both of you?
Good morning!
Look at this lovely breakfast we’ve made for you!
No, I’ve gotta go or I’ll lose my corner
No, you can’t go so soon
I need to earn a living
Here! 20 euros to stay and watch telly here quietly
No! I wanna take a walk
Marisa! He’s going!
You should have let me put the tranquillisers in his tea!
Isidro, fancy meeting you here! Where are you off to?
To take a walk. I’ll be right back
No, come upstairs to my flat
I’ll show you my collection of pure cigars
That sounds interesting but you can show me them later
Eh, eh, lo siento, no puedes pasar, estoy fregando
Isidro, where are you going in such a hurry?
We’re so happy to have you here
What’s wrong with this lift?
Hello! Help! Get me out of here please!
I need to go to the bathroom. All I wanted was to get laid...show mercy please
Who’s that in there, Emilio?
Shit, the ex, I forgot about him
Sorry, I need to use the bathroom
That’s the kitchen!
Son, he’s trying to escape through the courtyard
He’s in the courtyard! Everyone downstairs!
Come on, come on!
But would you mind telling me what it is you want from me?¿
No-one’s leaving here without first having breakfast
Who’s there?
Hello, we’re the family of Isidro Martín Rovira
We’ve come to find him
Have you brought the money?
Yes, we’ve got it here
Hang on a second, he’ll be right out
Ah, so that’s it...you’re gonna sell me out
Yeah but for a very good price
We’re doing you a favour, you’ll be able to get back your life
But has anyone asked me if I wanna get it back?
See?
This guy’s off his head. A multimillionaire but lives in the street
Do you have any idea what my life was like?
What it was like to work 16 hours a day in a job I didn’t even care about?
To be married to a woman who didn’t love me?
in the knowledge that anyone who got close to me only did so for my money
Taking pills to lead a depressing, meaningless existence
surrounded by disgusting extravagance that made me feel even more miserable
Yeah, I gave it all up
And I’ve never felt closer to being happy
All I’ve got is my freedom
And you’re gonna take it away from me for 60 thousand measly euros!
What should I do then? Shall I open the door?
Sorry about the delay, here’s Isidro
Hi sweetheart, have you missed me?
Hold on, what are you trying to pull here?
This isn’t my husband
It’s because he’s been roaming around for 2 years and he’s changed a lot
Yeah, it’s me, Isidro, sweetheart, let’s go to the villa
Look, we’re already having a hard enough time
without having to put up with this stupidity
Show a little respect please!
We’re really sorry
Could I perhaps make up for this bad time by taking you out for dinner?
Armando, please!
Ok, get it
Thanks, thanks a lot
Hey Juan, you’ve given him the tracksuit you got from my sister!
What does that matter? What’s important is we did the right thing
Life’s taught us a lesson
What lesson?
How do I know?
Come on Paloma
60 thousand euros! Doing good’s a load of bollocks
No wonder nobody does it
Well at least I got something from putting these clothes on
Now I can get a pack of fags
A bit longer? - Yeah
Yeah, why not?
It’s shameful spending all day in bed like this
- Lucía - What?
I want you to know that I’ve behaved like an idiot, a jerk
a baby, an animal...
Hey, stop me when you think it’s enough
No, keep going
Well, and even though you’ve got your failings, I love you
Do you realise? We’ve come through a crisis
Sure! I’m really clear about all this now
Seriously?
Yeah, seriously
Shall we get married?
Huh?...yeah, yeah, sure!
How could we not get married now that everything’s so clear?
Because you’re being serious, right? You’re not joking, are you?
No, I’m deadly serious
Actually, I’m proposing
Ah!...Well you beat me to it because I was just about to propose to you
Really?
What a coincidence
Yeah babe...we’ll get married
How exciting!
You’re telling me
This is so great
Vicenta! Vicenta! These 2 are getting married
What 2?
The ones upstairs, the new ones
I heard them talking, they’re getting married!
But I thought they’d broken up!
Yeah, I’m not gonna believe it till I see them at the altar
Have they got their wedding list yet?
So I can get them the cheapest thing
First, we’ll have to see if they invite us though, right?
Of course they’ll invite us! We’re their neighours!
They’d better!
I can’t believe you’re making me do this, I’m dying of shame
Yeah it has to be done, though
But why?
Wow, the hooligans from the first floor
Listen Armando, we wanted to speak to you
We want to tell we’re not gay
Hey, my bedroon’s above yours, you know
Ok, correction, we are gays
Yeah
But we think nobody else needs to know that
I don’t know if you would agree with that
Absolutely, don’t worry
What do these 2 want?
Nothing Mum, nothing, go on
- It’s late! - Come on, in you go
See you later
Well, I feel better now, thanks
I’m so proud of you
you’re starting to come out of the closet
very slowly and with pushes, but you’re starting to come out
Now you’ve shown a leg
Stop taking the piss
Come on, let’s go watch the match
Don’t tell me you’re into football now
It’s growing on me
What are you doing here, Emilio?
Oh nothing, just reflecting on something
Ah, that’s good
I was thinking...if this man Isidro
had everything a man can wish for
and he wasn’t happy
couldn’t you and I be doing something wrong with our lives?
Maybe
Fuck it, why don’t we drop it all and go do something different with our lives?
Like I dunno travel through India by bike or something
Well, because you’ve gotta take out the trash, Emilio
and because I’ve gotta work tomorrow
Anyways, I can’t ride a bike
Oh, what a vale of suffering! And what a mind closed to beauty!
And tomorrow the trash has gotta go out, oh well...
Help!
Boy...boy I’ve just let them know
Don’t you worry, I’ve just told the caretaker
Bring the mussels, we’re starting
I can’t get the tin to open!
It’s like a grenade, look!
The ring came off in my hand
And they put easy-open on it. We ought to report all of them
These things really piss me off!
You’re always angry
I’m gonna lend you a book that’ll change your lives
Well if it’s Kama Sutra, it’s kind of late for that
No! It’s called The Universe and Me
What’s important is karma
You have to do good because we all form part of a single cosmic energy
the nicer everything is, the better your karma
but if you shout and get angry, you get bad karma
And you end up reeincarnating as worse stuff
and your spirit isn’t in harmony with the universe
I’ll get you it so you can read it
It’s worked wonders for me
What pills is she taking?
How do I know? She prescribes them to herself
Let’s have a glass of chinchón
Sure, maybe it’ll give us a bit of cosmic energy
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Every day’s like this
and I couldn’t imagine it when I moved here
All I was looking for was a bit of peace and quiet
And I wake up every day in the middle of a hurricane
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone
The house is falling down about my feet
The caretaker’s nowhere to be found
The neighbours watch everything I do
I can’t take this place
Put together a cocktail shaker
thunder and lightning, an earthquake, and a volcano
and you’ll get this staircase
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Alright Emilio
Hey, what’s up?
I heard Lucía expelled you from school
No, it was just a silly fight
Right, but she’s kicked you out though
These posh girls when they get angry...
No! Seriously, I’ve come to make up with her
Do you know if she’s in?
Yeah, go up
Is something wrong?
No...well, I dunno, go up
Go on, go up
Hey, come on, you can’t sleep there
Beat it!
What’s your problem?
No, I just think you’d be more comfortable elsewhere
because here people are constantly coming in and out, they might trample on you
Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?
Do you think you’re better than me?
No, I was just saying...
Piss off!
We’ve got a problem
I can see that
That bloke’s squatting there and he’s getting kind of aggressive
Leave it to me. I know how to deal with these people
Excuse me! I’m the president of the community
Go fuck yourself!
Right...but you can’t stay here you know
Why not?
Because you’re not in keeping with the aesthetics of the building
Look here, dickhead, you don’t own the pavement
Anyway, are you gonna make me move?
Er Emilio, I need to go
I haven’t got time for this
I’m always having to do everything, you sort this out yourself
But this man can’t stay here
What am I gonna do with this bloke for God’s sake?
Lucía, it’s me
Hi, hi
I’ve come for my things
How are you gonna carry them then?
Well, a few things at a time, there’s no rush, is there?
Anyway, I think we should...
Lucía, I can see you two wanna talk, so I’ll come back another time
What’s he doing here?
What’s it to you?
I’m helping Lucía get through this difficult period
prompted by the dismal failure of a relationship
she’d placed so much hope in
Fuck, you talk the talk, don’t you?
Would you be so kind, if it’s not too much trouble
to leave my girlfriend and me alone for a minute
so we can talk
eh...you little shithead!
Hey Roberto! - No, no
Leave him, I understand his frustration
I’ll call you later - Ok
What do you mean you’ll call her later? What’s your problem?
You’re being childish
I can see how badly you’re hurting!
It’s been less than a week and you’ve already brought another guy home
Hey, I’m going through a hard time as well you know
Anyways, Carlos is a friend
No, he’s an ex
and an ex can never be a friend
They’re vultures waiting to pounce on the poor, defenceless prey
Ok fine!
Also, since you’ve already slept with one of your ex’s
sleep with me!
Look, I haven’t slept with anyone!
Anyway, didn’t you come to pick up your stuff?
Hell yeah
I’ll go get everything right now
You can do what you like as far as I’m concerned
But how could you date that loser?
I don’t know
Maybe because he’s smart, sophisticated, sensitive, nice, and attentive!
What great reasons!
Right, that’s it, I’m going
Is that all you’re gonna take? Your toothbrush!
And my shaving cream
And tomorrow I’ll come get the TV and DVD player
The DVD player’s mine
Well, for the TV then
Good luck connecting the DVD player without it
I’m gonna buy a plasma TV
Great, enjoy
How many inches is the screen? - 42
No shit!
Right well I’ll be back tomorrow
I don’t know what time I can drop by
No, hang on
I’ve packed a few boxes for you and I’ll call Emilio
to get him to help you take them down
Ok fine
I thought you were gonna fix things with your girlfriend
Come on, show a bit of consideration, I’ve got a bad back
Well making up takes time
Leave it to me
Well if you do make up, you can the boxes back upstairs by yourself
Plus, if you’re gonna be arguing all the time, change to the first floor, dammit!
Shit, we’re only going to your flat
What are we going there for?
Because I’m gonna sleep at your place tonight
That dick’s not nicking my girlfriend
But I’ve only got one bed!
Well, we’ll work something out
What’s going on? What are you doing?
Nothing
Lucía’s kicked him out of the flat
so he’s taking away his stuff
Ah sure
You could see this coming
I didn’t want to say anything because it’s none of my business
but you’ve done well even to stay together this long!
Anyway, I’m sorry, though
It’s a shame, such a shame
I told you! Exactly 2 months
Don’t be a busybody! Show a bit of respect please
Juan, the couple upstairs have split up!
What did you go and say that for, man?
Don’t be such a gossip!
She got it out of me like a pro
Mum, I’m home
Where have you been?
Collecting my car from the workshop
That was some bill I had to pay
Relax!
I’ve done something to help us save
I called the TV company and cancelled our membership
You did what?
It was such a dstraction for the boy
And for me too, that’s why we got it installed!
Yesterday I caught him watching a dirty film
And you say he shows no interest in learning
Anyway, what does it matter?
That’s what I said
I can still watch it online
Well no more internet then either
Shut up, will you
Look Mum, I don’t know how you manage it
but you make all the joy in my life disappear in the blink of an eye
Right, sure, everything’s always my fault
Where am I gonna watch tomorrow’s football match now?
I’m telling you Goerge Clooney is definitely gay, and Ben Afflect as well
What do you know about it?
Fernando, you can see in their attitude, their hairstyle, what they wear
So everybody who wears expnsive clothing is gay, is that it?
No, Jesus Gil isn’t
Hi neighbour! - Hi
Hey, you’ve got satellite TV, right?
Well we’ve only got the antenna but the signal’s good
Right. That’s it then. Are you gonna watch the match tomorrow?
What match?
The football match, man!
Ah, the match! Sure!
How could we miss it?
Ok in that case I’ll call by and watch it with you guys. If you don’t mind that is
No, of course not, you’re welcome
What’s another screaming fan if there are already two?
Ok, I’ll be here at half eight to catch the build up
Alright, see you later
What’s the build up?
So we’ve got to sit through the football match with the neighbour?
Well, it’s best not to arouse suspicion, right?
What, you mean anyone who doesn’t like football in this country has to be gay?
Well yeah, that’s a pretty widespread view
But the worst thing is I don’t know anything about football
Me neither but we can learn, can’t we?
I’ve never seen a full match in all my life
The only thing I like about football is when they do the Mexican wave
Look, I’ll explain it you
It’s 11 versus 11
You play with a ball
and the idea is to score goals
Thanks a lot, now I understand perfectly
Seriously Fernando, you keep getting yourself in a right old mess
and the worst thing is you have to drag me into it as well
Well listen, we’ve got one day to become real football fans
Anyway, we only have to pretend for an hour
Ah so a football match only lasts an hour?
Something like that, right?
What a treat we’ve got in store for us
He’s gay too, I’m sure of it
You’re so annoying, you know that
Right, let’s go over the plan for the weekend once again
Your mother and I are going to the wedding of a second cousin of hers
who I didn’t know even existed
Right
And we’ll be coming back the day after tomorrow
In other words, you’re going to be left on your own
Right again
Being modern parents
we’re going to place our trust in you, kids
because we honestly believe that now...
Paloma, can’t we stay?
No Juan! We’ve already bought them the present
Plus, the hotel’s free
and I’ve never been to Valencia!
Kids, can we trust you?
No, but you’ve got no choice
Come on, let’s go honey
What if we asked them to send us the wedding video?
They’re bound to put is in the back row!
Will you please walk out that door
and stop stressing me out!
And you two, behave yourselves and don’t get into trouble
Kisses for mummy and daddy’s little angels
Oh and don’t touch the phone!
What are you doing still here!
I thought you were outside with the car
You must have been through a lot in your life, am I right?
Fuck!
Vicenta, leave this gentleman alone
He’s got enough problems to think about
You need to achieve nirvana and we’re going to help you
Come upstairs with us and we’ll give you some food
What? We can’t take him upstairs!
Emilio, we’re off, has the tramp gone yet?
Not likely! He’s still there
What tramp?
Some homeless bloke who’s squatting by the front door
Oh, no way! That man can’t stay there!
A beggar by the door looks really bad, Juan
Right, I know
- Good morning - Where are you taking that man?
We’re going to give him some food
She doesn’t know what to do to lose her virginity anymore
Marisa, please!
I don’t care about sex at all, ok
Me neither
Juan, you can’t let them take that beggar in!
What do you want me to do about it?
These ladies aren’t right in the head
We ought to let social services know so they can take care of them
What, you want them to persuade them to go into a care home?
Or force them. What do I care?
Then we can buy their flat off them for peanuts
and make a duplex
Come on, let’s go
I’ve got a bad feeling about this
Marisa, look how he’s enjoying his food
See how little it takes to make someone happy
Little! You’ve given him our best wine
That’s what nice about it! Giving to those less fortunate
Bollocks, let the royals help him
Marisa! We’ve got a TV, video player, and a fridge
Why can’t we have a beggar?
Where are we supposed to plug him in then?
How’s the food? Everything ok?
What’s for dessert?
Marisa, get out the rice pudding
No, not that, that’s mine
Oh, well some cake with a coffee then
Ok, fine
Would you like anything else, sir?
Yes, the bill. Just kidding!
Can I come for dinner tonight?
Of course. You can eat here whenever you like
Isidro, listen, does being a tramp...
run in the family?
I go in my house and the guy’s there coming out of the bathroom
Naked? - No, in clothes
He’s helping Lucía to get through the break up
Ok, ok, fine
He wants to bang her
No he doesn’t!
Yeah, he wants to bang her!
He doesn’t! - He does, for fuck’s sake!
Alright then, he does, and so does him
No I don’t, all I said was now that you and Lucía have broken up
maybe I could help her get back on her feet
Not another one!
Sure, that way you’d be Paco de Lucía
Look, man, let’s get things straight, your girlfriend’s hot
Really hot
She’s smoking hot
And now she’s single
Look, there he is, he makes me sick
He’s handsome though, right?
And check out his bike!
Nah, that’s all shitty plastic, can’t you see?
Alright!
And he’s messing with you to top it off!
Listen if some guy came
and tried to nick my girlfriend right to my face
I’d get his rearview mirror and do this to it
What do you think you’re doing?
What has to be done!
Yeah, fuck it! And to hell with this windscreen as well!
Take some of that!
Hey, someone could see us!
I can’t get used to the idea that it’s over
between Roberto and me from one day to the next
You dropped me from one day to the next
Yeah, well, I fell in love with Roberto, what do you expect?
We all make mistakes
Hey, let’s open up the tank and take a piss in it!
Whereabouts is it?
Hey, come on, please, I’m begging you
leave the bike alone!
Help me stand it back up!
Come on, give me a hand, Emilio, please!
Hey, where are you going? This thing weighs a ton!
What the...do you need help?
What are you playing at?
Er I saw some guys push it over
and run away
Are you dumb or what?
Ready?
Right, 1, 2, 3
Goal!
How was that?
Rubbish, we’re not feeling it! It looks fake
Well sorry but I did it really well
What? Have you seen how you celebrate?
You look like a cheerleader! All you’re missing are the pompoms
What about you then?
You looked like you were on a float on Gay Pride Day
Come on, let’s focus
Please Fernando, call him and cancel. This is gonna be terrible
Let’s carry on watching the match
See that? That’s a foul
So what they have to do is take a shot at goal
But what are those 5 doing standing there playing with their balls?
That’s the wall
Ew! Gross! Did you see that?
He did this and left it!
Come on man, don’t look at that!
Really! Afterwards it’ll stay on the ground!
It’s essential to learn the players’ names
Look, that’s Fernando Torres
- The black guy? - No, the other one, the blond
He’s hot
See? That’s just the type of comment you need to avoid making
Fuck this is hard, seriously
Come on, quiet
Now the ones in yellow have got the ball, ok?
So they try and pass it, open up the pitch
take it to the other end and finish off the move
But if the other team steal the ball, that’s called a counterattack
Can you tell me what you’re doing?
Trying to burp. Cos I’ve seen them in the bar
They yell, swear, drink, and burp
God, this isn’t gonna go well
Did you hear that? Wow, I’m great at burping!
I never knew, I’m so excited!
Great
8 balls with 26 to get bingo all afternoon and nothing
Seriously, it’s like they do it on purpose
Ok kids, here’s the second course
What on earth’s going on here?
Isidro’s brought some friends round for dinner
Hey, as you’re on your feet, how about bringing us a bit more water?
With ice!
Vicenta, can you come here for a second?
Yeah, think about what you want for dessert
Flan, cake, or curds
All 3 for me
What’s up?
Why have you let 4 strangers into the house?
They’re not strangers, they’re friends of Isidro
But what the fuck do we know about Isidro?
Don’t you remember? He came round for lunch today
Sure, I remember
Marisa, we’re doing a good turn
We’re making fools of ourselves you mean
Relax, as soon they’ve finished eating, they’ll go. You’ll see
Hey, what’s on telly tonight?
I saw a pack of cards, we could have a game
Oh well, listen, as long as no-one else comes...
They’re coming! - Move!
They’ve got a convertible now
Fucking hell! Son of a bitch!
What a motherfucker!
Thanks
Mind the door because it’s right on the lamp post
I don’t know if you can get out
Yeah, it’s not gonna scratch
Don’t even joke about that
Hang on! - Look out! - My leg!
That’s it
Let’s get out of here before they see us
Thanks a lot for the dinner
It’s really done me a world of good to go out and get a bit of fresh air
I hope I wasn’t poor company
You’re always good company
That’s so nice what he just said
He’s working on her
What you need to do now is move on
forget about Roberto and live your life
If something happens with someone else, go with it
You’re a wonderful woman and you deserve the best
This guy’s a master, he’s gonna be sleeping in your bed tonight, man
Yeah but I don’t feel good about breaking up with Roberto the way I did
But why not? It’s his fault, he’s immature, childish and stupid
The sad thing is it’s taken you this long to find that out
What the fuck! That’s it, let me go!
Seriously, he’s laying it on thick
I want you to know that you’ve got a friend in me...for whatever you need
and forever
Well - Well
He’s gonna stick his tongue right down the back of her throat
See you tomorrow
Shall I call you tomorrow and we can have dinner together?
Ok
Or we could go to the cinema...or to the theatre
To the theatre! - The theatre
- Alright - Ok, I’ll call you tomorrow
Is that it? What a let down
But she still loves you
Yeah, at least until tomorrow
Well? What now then? Did you see?
She still thinks about me
Look, don’t fool yourself, all you’ve gained is time
I’ll help you get her back because I like you
Just in future rewind the films before returning them
Javi? What’s up, it’s Paco
Listen, where are you guys?
You need to come here for a bit
Who’s he calling?
Roberto wants to get back with Lucía
Give him another chance, he didn’t know what he was doing
He really loves you, I feel so bad for him
You’ve got to forgive him or he’s gonna slit his wrists
Oh Lucía, oh Lucía, oh Lucía forgive him now
He’s down and out and in a mess here in the porch
If Roberto ever steps out of line again
Don’t kick him out again, make him sleep on the sofa
Hey, if you wanna sing, go find a karaoke bar! It’s late!
Come on, show a bit of compassion
These two lovebirds are making up, dammit!
Aw, how nice...why should I care? Get out of here!
Roberto!
Paco, you’ve already done enough, I wanna be alone
No, the music group need a tip
You’re enjoying making fun of me!
That’s real love, everything else is just silly games
That guitar player had great legs
Well, what are you gonna do with this guy?
I don’t know. To be honest, no-one’s ever done all this for me before
I don’t know if he’s off his nut or he really loves me
I reckon both
Ok, tomorrow when he comes round for the TV, I’ll tell him to stay
Aw, how sweet!
Hey, if next time you wanna make up with him, I know a mariachi guy
Really? What would he do for me?
You can’t sleep in Emilio’s place!
Stay here, my parents are away
Alright, I’ll crash on the sofa
Don’t be stupid man, sleep in their bed
Whose bed?
My parents’
No, it’d freak me out
Come on man, they’re not monsters
Alright then
Wow, look who’s here
I thought you were going out drinking
Yeah but if there’s a guest, he’ll need a host
Right well I’m gonna hit the sack
cos tomorrow I’ve gotta get up early...
Good night - Thanks man
You back off ok cos he’s my mate and he’s going through a hard time
Why, what did I do?
Don’t play dumb with me, I’m not Dad
Come on, get to bed!
To your bed I mean!
My mind’s a mess with all these names
I’m too old to study
Some go by their first name, others by their surname
others by their nickname, and hang on
I just found out that Butragueño’s retired
And then they moan that there are no decent strikers
Hey!
What? Sorry, I’m listening to a football programme
What fun! Is that your plan for tonight?
Yeah, do you wanna an earphone?
If I’ve got no choice
Hey, remember this expression: double pivot
What’s that then?
No idea but it sounds really technical, right?
Double pivot
Roberto
What are you playing at? Are you crazy?
It’s such a turn on, right? You and me alone in my parents’ bed
Yeah...er I mean no, I’d better go
Relax dude!
Today’s not your lucky day
Look, I feel bound to tell you
that your approach with Lucía is all wrong
You’re crawling and us women don’t like that
Oh really?
Yeah, playing the cry baby’s only good for liars
Do you wanna get Lucía back?
Well blow her off
Yeah but if I blow her off, she’s gonna think I’ve moved on
Right, that’s it
Sure...I don’t get it
You’re a man, you don’t need to understand
Listen, it’s like a poker game
Lucía’s got better cards than you
What do you do in this kind of situation?
Fold
No! Bluff!
Lucía has to think you’ve got your life back together
that you’re dating someone else
But who am I gonna date?
I don’t know, we’ll think of someone
Good night
Come on, show a bit of consideration
Line up in the queue
Come on, you here, like this, in the queue!
You can’t smoke here!
Hold on...this is a joint
Right smartass, you go to the back of the queue
Paco, what are you doing queuing up?
If Vicenta’s giving people breakfast, this way I can save on my croissant
Emilio, have you seen Marisa?
Because I sent her for muffins and she’s not come back!
Muffins! You should be down here sorting this out!
I’m here now, dammit!
This is crazy. No-one’s gonna believe this
Come on, get out of the way, I can’t get through
Out of the way!
For God’s sake, I’m gonna drop the muffins, dammit!
I can’t take any more of this
Señor Cuesta...yes, I know you’re at a wedding
But the building’s full of tramps!
Oh Juan, this is scary, where are we?
Wait a second, sweetheart
I can’t see any church, I’m gonna miss the entrance of the bride
which is the best part, Juan
Look Emilio, how many beggars are we talking about?
How do I know? This is like the set to Operación Triunfo
What should I do?
Let me think for a second
For God’s sake! Can’t I leave you lot alone?
All these stones! I don’t know where you’ve brought me!
Why don’t we ask someone?
Who? We’re in the middle of nowhere
Oh, my phone! That’ll be my cousin
wanting to know where we’ve got to. And we’re lost!
Emilio, tell Vicenta not to feed anyone else!
Hello? - Paloma, it’s Concha, your neighbour
Listen, I don’t want to worry you or ruin your wedding
but your daughter Natalia spent the whole night in your flat with the guy from the third floor
What are you talking about?
You love making up stories, don’t you?
Right now I’m watching them have breakfast together
I’ll let you decide what to do
That’ll make her choke on her wedding cake
I’m in shock!
No breakfast and no other meals! You need to intercept those muffins!
Juan, Natalia’s slept with him from upstairs
What?
Under our own roof!
Our little girl’s been soiled and under our own roof!
Get in the car!
What about the wedding?
- Sod the wedding! Take me home! - What a mess!
I’ve told you before, this is what comes from you neglecting your kids!
Hey, it’s your cousin’s wedding, not mine
It’s your fault, you always cater to my every whim
Drive! The other way! Back up!
Blow her off, blow her off, blow her off
it’s over, I’m with someone else...she’ll never believe it
Hi - Hi
I’ve come for my Simpsons alarm clock
I won’t be a minute
No, listen, it’s alright
I wanted to talk with you as well
No, I already know what you’re gonna say
But you don’t need to worry, I won’t bother you anymore
Wait, seriously it’s not that
It’s just I think the best thing...
was for us to break up! Now you’ve made a new life for yourself
with that cocksucker Carlos and I accept that
I haven’t made a new life for myself with anyone. It’s just that...
Fine! I get it, you feel sorry for me
Well don’t worry, I’m dating someone else now too
Who?
Someone
Things are going great for us
Can I know who she is?
I’m not telling you
Right! Come on, you’re making it up, you’re lame
Look, sorry, I’ve gotta run cos I’m meeting someone
Fine
Nice try but no cigar
Hey, I don’t know what kind of relationships you’re used to
but I don’t like being made to wait
Ok, come on, let’s go
No!
Yeah!
No! No way!
How can he be dating a 17 year old?
Well because that 17 year old’s been out to get him since you moved here
Plus, Radio Courtyard says they spent the night together
And that’s like hearing it from the horse’s mouth
Fuck! And I wanted to forgive him as well
No, I guess Carlos was right
Roberto’s so immature
Who’s Carlos?
My ex, he’s helping me get through this
And how’s he helping you exactly?
By giving you his shoulder to cry on or something harder than that?
Hey, come on! Can’t you be friends with an ex?
- Never - It’s so lame
Not even I have stooped that low
He just wants to get you in his bed and you know it
You’re so bad
Well tonight we’re gonna have dinner together
but nothing’s gonna happen
Sure, nothing
And if it does happen, so what? I’m single now
I can do as I please
Come on, you’re crazy about Roberto
Me, crazy about him!
No, not anymore. Anyways, he must be so happy going to pick up his girlfriend from school
So are you two together then or not?
No way! It was a ploy
Well, nice one, she’s meeting her ex tonight
Yeah but she got jealous, right?
which means we make a good couple
But what’s the point in making her jealous if she already wanted to get back with you?
I told you the music would work!
Nah, how could that work?
You’ve screwed things up for me! All of you!
Right, come on, we’ll help you...
No thanks, I’d rather you didn’t do anything
Just leave me alone
You heard! He said to leave him alone
Yeah, we need to do something
Hey, why don’t we have a party at my place and put them together?
They won’t wanna go
Sure they will, how can they miss your birthday?
What birthday?
Don’t you turn 30 next month? Well, we’ll bring it forward
No shit, 30 already?
Yeah, what’s the big deal?
- She doesn’t look it, does she? - No
Come on, let’s arrange it
I bet if the 2 of them get left alone, they’ll make up
I don’t wanna celebrate anything though!
I’ll go get a cake
Hey, what are we gonna about her ex? Because they’re supposed to be meeting
Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him
Listen you lot, I’m not celebrating anything this year!
You got that?
Hey Belén, I haven’t had time to buy you anything
Keep away from me!
She’s feeling affectionate today
They’re friends of Vicenta’s
But what’s she done? Emilio, this is a disgrace!
I’ve got to wait in a queue just to go up to my flat
Well, take the lift
I can’t, there’s 2 men sleeping in there
What’s all this? It’s like the ticket office at the Bernebeu
Finally!
Juan, we’d only just sanded down the staircase!
We get invaded and you 2 are off at a wedding!
I’m gonna put an end to this right now!
Let me through, please
Really! Juan, there’s a man here who just touched my butt
Who cares about that now!
But he did something really weird to me with his mouth
Ok, fine!
Hey, no jumping the queue!
I’m the president of the community!
Sure you are. Go back!
Keep going Juan, keep going
Go back to the dump you came from!
Look, they’re all here
Hey, what is there for the second course? Cos I only eat fish
This takes the biscuit! I need to talk with Vicenta right now
Come on, go through!
Not you! You outside!
Juan, he’s stealing my bag!
Oh God! Let go of that right this second, you thug! Thug!
Look, this is Isidro, my first case
Well then, tell us how you got the idea to help the disadvantaged in such a generous way?
Look, we all form part of a single cosmic energy and we have to do good
because if you do good, you feel good
and you pass that energy on to those around you
Haven’t you had any problems with your neighbours?
No, none
Look, this is the president of the building
Hello, what do you think about your neighbour’s lovely initiative?
It’s wonderful. I, Juan Cuesta, president of the community
have supported this initiative from the beginning
because I firmly believe that solidarity and helping one’s neighbours
are the pillars of a society
I’d like to take this opportunity to call on all neighbourhood communities to join...
- Yes, ok, thanks a lot! - and I’m his wife
in case you wanted to ask me any questions
Thank you as well, come on, let’s get out of here
How nice!
Lovely. I want all these people out of here in one hour
But you just said...
It doesn’t matter what I said!
You can’t set up a shelter here!
And the neighbours are fuming!
At the most, you can keep one beggar so choose the one you like the most
Come on, everybody out! The food’s run out
Emilio, clear this area!
Coming! I can’t take any more of this...
Come on Juan, we need to go talk to Natalia
Oh God, I’d forgotten about that, what a mess!
I’ll talk to you in a second
What are you doing here?
What a question!
Natalia, did Roberto spend the night here? Yes or no?
- Yes - Thank goodness, what a weight off my shoulders
What do you mean yes?
You asked me and I told you
Come on, you’re a teenager, at least try and lie a bit!
Juan, our bed’s full of hairs
and I changed the sheets before we left
What happened? He drugged you, right?
And that’s not the worst thing
The worst thing is everyone in the building knows!
We didn’t do anything. He slept in your room and I slept in mine
I can think of few less romantic places for making love than your bed
Me too...but we’re not talking about that now
Jose Miguel, you were here, tell us the truth
You’re brother and sister and within your rights to grass on each other
Dad, it was me who invited Roberto round, she slept with me
Well, being modern parents
we’ll take your word for it
Ah, one more thing. You’re both grounded!
But Juan, look at them, they’re going out!
Yeah, but they know they’re grounded
They’re not going with a clear conscience
Ah, if you say so
Well we could go back to Valencia then
Come on, you’re kidding
No, Mauri, this is too clean
It shouldn’t be this clean
I’ve made some salmon sandwiches with cream cheese
Shall I take out a bottle of white wine or red wine?
No, no wine! Beer!
With football people drink beer
And no salmon sandwiches please
Get out some crisps or something
Sure, so we can cover the sofa in grease
Oh by the way, I’ve got a few handy phrases
My brother gave me them, tell me what you think
For example, open up the pitch!
Or put your foot in!
Or time ref, that’s a good one
And the best one: play it, play it!
Play it, play it!
No, rougher than that...play it, play it!
Ah he’s here
Right, chin up
Ok
Hi
What’s up? Give me 5!
Come in, things are warming up
What’s up man? Let’s see how these pricks do
Yeah, let’s see how they play
Do you want a beer? I’ve already had 6 or 7
Come on, sit your ass down!
Ready for the build up
Everything’s ready, we just need the cake
I’m so nervous
I called Roberto and persuaded him to come
and I told him he doesn’t need to buy you anything, ok Belén?
What a crap birthday
You could at least have called a few more people, couldn’t you?
I did call
And?
Today’s a bad today because people are at work
And also there’s a match: Villareal against Osasuna
This is so depressing
I’m turning 30 early and no-one cares
I care, baby
I’ve bought the cake but I don’t think 30 candles are gonna fit on here
I need a drink
Belén, don’t look so miserable, it’s your birthday
It’s not my birthday!
Belén, I’m here by your side in this crisis
You don’t realise it now but what’s happening between you and me is so nice
Take him away someone, please!
Carlos is here, he’s parking outside
Rightm, everyone in position
- Hi - Hi
Shall we go?
Well actually I thought we could stay here
so I ordered dinner from a Thai restaurant which I know you’re gonna love
Are you trying to hook up with me?
Well, one step at a time
First, I need to get you drunk
French wine
It’ll make all your worries go away
Hey!
Sorry to interrupt
It’s just that today’s Belen’s birthday
so we’re holding a party at our place
And we thought you could come over for a drink
Oh is it your birthday? You never said anything to me!
I forgot
I’m really bad with dates
Yeah, well, she’s turning 30 and everyone’s flaked out on her
There’s a football match on so...
Ok, sure, let’s have a drink, shall we? Do you fancy it?
Er well...I guess..
what about the dinner?
Get them to deliver it there
Ah that wine looks good, bring that with you
Ah...my French wine
Paco! Things are moving along here
What’s going on down there? I can’t hear anything!
We’re trying but it’s not working
Fuck man, it won’t go off
Maybe it hasn’t got an alarm
It must have have an alarm!
What are we gonna do then?
Fuck!
- Emilio! - Send him down!
Shit, he’s hung up me!
That’s my car alarm
This is a really bad neighbourhood
You’re telling me! Lucía, I’ll be right back if nothing’s happened to her
Ok
Quick, hurry up!
Coming!
He’s coming down
He’s out of the picture now
But what if he rings the bell?
You can’t hear it from inside the building, only from outside
Come on, let’s go upstairs, you’re gonna flip
Help!
Is anybody there? Help!
Yes, who’s that?
Listen señora...
No, not señora, señorita...who’s that?
I’m stuck in the lift
Can you help me?
Oh how terrible, boy, the thing is I’m not from round here
I just came to visit my daughter because she’s sick
and I’m in a bad way as well
What are you telling me that for? Get help please!
But who are you boy? I know you
You’re Fran’s boy, aren’t you?
No, listen, we can introduce ourselves later and you can introduce me to Fran as well
but I wanna get out of here please!
Ah, you poor thing, press the button, boy, the button!
I’ve pressed all the buttons!
Tell the caretaker or something!
The caretaker? Oh, ok, but I’ll go slowly, boy
because I’ve got a prothesis in one of my hips and in the other one
I haven’t got anything but I’ve got trouble walking, boy
Don’t you worry now, boy, how terrible, we’ll be right back
And see if someone can look at my car
because the alarm was going off
Open up the pitch for fuck’s sake, you motherfucker!
Mauri’s a big fan, he’s been waiting for this match for months
I can see
That’s some double pivot they’ve got
No, they’re playing with one central midfielder and two wingers
Exactly, no I just wanted to see if you were paying attention
Play it, fuck!
You’re freaking out right? You think I’m like the daughter of the Exorcist
I really feel this shit, you know!
Mauri, calm down
No, don’t do that, don’t do that
- What an idiot!
Play it, play it!
How long till the break?
Yeah that’s it, come on...goal! Have it!
Oh man! What a goal!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Belén, happy birthday to you
Blow!
And now the presents!
No, there aren’t any presents
Ah no? Well...let’s eat the cake!
- I’m on a diet - I don’t like chocolate
I’ve already eaten
Fuck man, this is sadder than when Bambi’s mum dies
To be honest, it is a bit of a strange birthday
You should have seen last year
Yeah, well at least this year, no-one’s given me any teddy bears
She hates teddy bears, I don’t know what they’ve done to you
- Hi! - Fuck!
Why are you here?
What about you? What is this, a set up?
No, we got you together so you can talk in private and sort things out
So it’s a set up!
You got angry over nothing
No, not over nothing, he’s got a big mouth
What about her then? She’s dating another guy
Yeah but at least she’s not being going around pretending to date a 17 year-old
Hey, don’t mess with my sister!
Wouldn’t you like to be half as hot as her!
No, what you can’t do is what Roberto did
start a relationship with someone and then blow them off
Yeah but Lucía gets on at him loads
Life when you’re in a relationship is complicated
What do you know about? - I know loads of stuff about love, right Belén?
Don’t get me involved!
Well, what’s important is that they love each other, right?
But that’s what I was saying, fuck, if you’d just let me speak...
Yeah but they need to talk about this between themselves, it’s not our business
Hey, where are they by the way?
Come on, come on!
Let’s go see!
Look, they’re kissing
It was the music that did it, definitely
How sweet, the bastards
Ref, put your foot it!
They should have made another change
They’ve already made 3
Yeah well, as many as it takes
But what are you blowing for now? This guy’s clueless!
Mauri, that was the final whistle
Ah, it’s flown by for me
Not for me
But we had a good time though, right?
Yeah, what I still don’t get is
which team you two were supporting
Oh, do you support one?
No, what we appreciate is the show. We like Brazil
And Brazilian chicks!
Well, we can do this again whenever you like
Now you know, here we’re football fans to the death
Yeah, to be honest, I’m pretty surprised
Why’s that?
I thought gays didn’t like football
Right, thanks for everything
The location of the the Riojan businessman Isidro Martín Rovira remains unknown
He disappeared from his house on December 25th 2001
Initially, given his vast family fortune
the possibility of a kidnapping was considered likely
However, until now no-one has made contact with the family
and they are continuing to offer 60 thousand euros to anyone who can provide information regarding his whereabouts
Juan! It’s himl!
What? What’s going on?
It’s him! The beggar Vicenta’s got in her house
He’s worth 60 thousand euros
What are you talking about?
Quick, let’s go downstairs, I’ve got the phone
But the phone hasn’t rung
Hello, is Isidro there?
No, he hasn’t come for his dinner yet
We’ve been thinking...you’re bearing all the responsibility for that good man
and naturally we’d like him to invite him round for dinner
because we’ve got loads of extra food, right?
Hey, we saw the TV as well you know
Shut up you idiot!
Those 60 thousand euros are for us because we’ve taken care of him
This is a reward for doing good
We’ve already talked to his family by phone
and tomorrow they’re coming to get him
Hang on a second! That beggar appeared in a public area and he belongs to all the community!
However, if we were to reach an agreement between ourselves
nobody else need know about it
Have you been watching TV? That man we’ve got is worth a fortune!
Mum, it’s none of our business
Juan, shut the door before this place fills with people
Señor Cuesta, the tramp’s minted
God, how many people watch that programme?
Right, well let’s make one thing clear
We’ll share the money between all of us and end of story!
Because I called the programme as well and I’m not gonna look like a fool
But have you stopped to consider
that maybe he doesn’t want to be found?
Well, he can sort that out with his family
Hi! Can I come in?
Hello! Come in! Come in! Go on!
Go through for your dinner, it’s ready, that’s it, through there
Make sure he sleeps here tonight
He can’t leave the building, is that clear?
You got that both of you?
Good morning!
Look at this lovely breakfast we’ve made for you!
No, I’ve gotta go or I’ll lose my corner
No, you can’t go so soon
I need to earn a living
Here! 20 euros to stay and watch telly here quietly
No! I wanna take a walk
Marisa! He’s going!
You should have let me put the tranquillisers in his tea!
Isidro, fancy meeting you here! Where are you off to?
To take a walk. I’ll be right back
No, come upstairs to my flat
I’ll show you my collection of pure cigars
That sounds interesting but you can show me them later
Eh, eh, lo siento, no puedes pasar, estoy fregando
Isidro, where are you going in such a hurry?
We’re so happy to have you here
What’s wrong with this lift?
Hello! Help! Get me out of here please!
I need to go to the bathroom. All I wanted was to get laid...show mercy please
Who’s that in there, Emilio?
Shit, the ex, I forgot about him
Sorry, I need to use the bathroom
That’s the kitchen!
Son, he’s trying to escape through the courtyard
He’s in the courtyard! Everyone downstairs!
Come on, come on!
But would you mind telling me what it is you want from me?¿
No-one’s leaving here without first having breakfast
Who’s there?
Hello, we’re the family of Isidro Martín Rovira
We’ve come to find him
Have you brought the money?
Yes, we’ve got it here
Hang on a second, he’ll be right out
Ah, so that’s it...you’re gonna sell me out
Yeah but for a very good price
We’re doing you a favour, you’ll be able to get back your life
But has anyone asked me if I wanna get it back?
See?
This guy’s off his head. A multimillionaire but lives in the street
Do you have any idea what my life was like?
What it was like to work 16 hours a day in a job I didn’t even care about?
To be married to a woman who didn’t love me?
in the knowledge that anyone who got close to me only did so for my money
Taking pills to lead a depressing, meaningless existence
surrounded by disgusting extravagance that made me feel even more miserable
Yeah, I gave it all up
And I’ve never felt closer to being happy
All I’ve got is my freedom
And you’re gonna take it away from me for 60 thousand measly euros!
What should I do then? Shall I open the door?
Sorry about the delay, here’s Isidro
Hi sweetheart, have you missed me?
Hold on, what are you trying to pull here?
This isn’t my husband
It’s because he’s been roaming around for 2 years and he’s changed a lot
Yeah, it’s me, Isidro, sweetheart, let’s go to the villa
Look, we’re already having a hard enough time
without having to put up with this stupidity
Show a little respect please!
We’re really sorry
Could I perhaps make up for this bad time by taking you out for dinner?
Armando, please!
Ok, get it
Thanks, thanks a lot
Hey Juan, you’ve given him the tracksuit you got from my sister!
What does that matter? What’s important is we did the right thing
Life’s taught us a lesson
What lesson?
How do I know?
Come on Paloma
60 thousand euros! Doing good’s a load of bollocks
No wonder nobody does it
Well at least I got something from putting these clothes on
Now I can get a pack of fags
A bit longer? - Yeah
Yeah, why not?
It’s shameful spending all day in bed like this
- Lucía - What?
I want you to know that I’ve behaved like an idiot, a jerk
a baby, an animal...
Hey, stop me when you think it’s enough
No, keep going
Well, and even though you’ve got your failings, I love you
Do you realise? We’ve come through a crisis
Sure! I’m really clear about all this now
Seriously?
Yeah, seriously
Shall we get married?
Huh?...yeah, yeah, sure!
How could we not get married now that everything’s so clear?
Because you’re being serious, right? You’re not joking, are you?
No, I’m deadly serious
Actually, I’m proposing
Ah!...Well you beat me to it because I was just about to propose to you
Really?
What a coincidence
Yeah babe...we’ll get married
How exciting!
You’re telling me
This is so great
Vicenta! Vicenta! These 2 are getting married
What 2?
The ones upstairs, the new ones
I heard them talking, they’re getting married!
But I thought they’d broken up!
Yeah, I’m not gonna believe it till I see them at the altar
Have they got their wedding list yet?
So I can get them the cheapest thing
First, we’ll have to see if they invite us though, right?
Of course they’ll invite us! We’re their neighours!
They’d better!
I can’t believe you’re making me do this, I’m dying of shame
Yeah it has to be done, though
But why?
Wow, the hooligans from the first floor
Listen Armando, we wanted to speak to you
We want to tell we’re not gay
Hey, my bedroon’s above yours, you know
Ok, correction, we are gays
Yeah
But we think nobody else needs to know that
I don’t know if you would agree with that
Absolutely, don’t worry
What do these 2 want?
Nothing Mum, nothing, go on
- It’s late! - Come on, in you go
See you later
Well, I feel better now, thanks
I’m so proud of you
you’re starting to come out of the closet
very slowly and with pushes, but you’re starting to come out
Now you’ve shown a leg
Stop taking the piss
Come on, let’s go watch the match
Don’t tell me you’re into football now
It’s growing on me
What are you doing here, Emilio?
Oh nothing, just reflecting on something
Ah, that’s good
I was thinking...if this man Isidro
had everything a man can wish for
and he wasn’t happy
couldn’t you and I be doing something wrong with our lives?
Maybe
Fuck it, why don’t we drop it all and go do something different with our lives?
Like I dunno travel through India by bike or something
Well, because you’ve gotta take out the trash, Emilio
and because I’ve gotta work tomorrow
Anyways, I can’t ride a bike
Oh, what a vale of suffering! And what a mind closed to beauty!
And tomorrow the trash has gotta go out, oh well...
Help!
Boy...boy I’ve just let them know
Don’t you worry, I’ve just told the caretaker