Another Period (2013–…): Season 2, Episode 11 - Lillian Is Dead - full transcript
Hortense and Bertram's happiness turns out to be short-lived, as does Commodore and Chair's; Beatrice turns to religion when her bar fight with Lillian has deadly consequences; Blanche gives birth downstairs.
Previously on
Another Period...
May I have the ring, please?
Laverne has passed.
You're much more beautiful
than I ever could
have imagined.
Now it's time
to make us official.
You're right.
They're divorce papers.
Shit on my tits!
This is Father Black--
Donohue Black.
This is my simplest
daughter, Beatrice.
The best thing you can do
for those you love
is forcefully push
your beliefs upon them.
This is
Mitchell P. Spiritwalker.
I am with child.
My husband and I
are going to raise
this child together.
Welcome home, Lady Dodo.
You gave all my money
away to charity.
I'll just take
the Abbey, then.
No, you get nothing.
Well, I suppose there's
only one respectable way
to settle this--
with a duel.
Keep your little Abbey.
Lady Beatrice
locked up the liquor.
I want to go where
nobody knows my name.
Where is she, Mary?
Where is she?
♪ I want the money,
I want the fame ♪
♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪
♪ this is mine,
I got to get it ♪
♪ I got to get it,
got, got to get it ♪
♪ Another Period ♪
What is this hellhole?
Who are these people?
Why are they dressed
so terribly?
Why is that man's
face so woolly?
Um, this was a bad idea.
I think we should go.
No, alcohol must
always trump judgment.
Um, Miss Lillian,
I really think we must go.
No, I'm staying here.
Garfield, leave me here!
I would never leave you.
You can and you will!
Innkeeper!
This-- this Greek fellow
is bothering me.
All right, out you go,
you dandy.
- Come on.
- No, Lillian!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, I never thought I could
have it all, but now I do.
Husband? Darling?
What's wrong?
Um, just my eyes--
I'm having a hard time seeing.
Beginning to think maybe I
shouldn't have taken
those bandages off so soon.
The doctor did say
to wait a week.
Whoa!
Uh, Hortense,
I've gone blind.
- Oh, my goodness!
- I can't see.
- Oh!
- I need you to get the drops.
Oh, the drops!
Oh, no!
Oh-- my love, please!
I finally found happiness
only to careen
into a ditch!
Wait, wait!
I can see.
I can see.
Hortense, you've saved us.
Oh, that was close.
Thank you, Hortense.
I mean... Mrs. Fusselforth.
♪ ♪
Oh, thank goodness
I found you.
"Thank goodness I found you."
Chancellor Fong,
meet my wife.
This is the prime minister
of Taiwan.
Hello.
Um, my water--
it's broken.
And?
And I-- I need you
to deliver my baby.
Oh, Blanche.
I would love to.
I-- I would, I just--
It's the Sabbath.
But you're a doctor...
and my husband.
And I-- and I get that.
I do, I just...
I can't do any
strenuous labor on Shabbat.
You understand.
Can you
light a pipe on Shabbat?
I'm impressed that
you know the Hebrew.
Uh, but no, technically not.
One can always make
exceptions, though.
Can't you make an exception
for the birth of my child?
Please?
Blanche...
I'm going to give you 30 seconds
to get out of this room
before I get physically
violent with you.
That I'm allowed
to do on Shabbat.
Out!
I'm going to give birth alone.
So that's what's
happening right now.
Do you have the champagne
with the gold flecks in it
that Peepers serves
on Spaghetti Sundays?
Oh, yeah, I have
exactly that.
Right here.
Oh, my.
You have less teeth
than a usual man.
You must save a pretty penny
on toothbrushes
and toothpaste.
♪ turn up, turn up, turn up ♪
♪ turn up the bass ♪
I can't believe
this is all really happening.
I am married to the most
powerful man in media.
Oh, I can't wait to start
publishing my columns and books.
Hortense,
you make me laugh.
Pardon me?
Well, we're married now.
It's time for you to start
popping out those babies.
But I thought my writing
was why you married me.
Well, yeah,
but you're mine now.
But I told you
I'm barren.
Well, we'll adopt.
Ha ha!
I don't know why you're
being so difficult about this.
The point is, you're going to
stay home and rear our children.
But you kept saying
how much you admired me
being a strong, single woman.
You hit the nail on the head
with that word, "single."
You're not single anymore,
are you, Hortense?
This is making me
very aggravated--
very aggravated.
It's too much excitement.
I'm sorry, darling.
You're right, of course.
I was being a mouthy wife.
Well, yes.
I know what will
make you feel better.
Oh. Huh?
Oh.
Oh...
Hortense.
Well...
Not, not so much--
not so much teeth, Hortense.
Ahh!
Gah!
Aaaah!
When I think about how close
we came to foreclosure,
my balls become pancakes.
Yes...
What?
Can you not see
we're celebrating?
Right. We're sorry to
bother you at this hour,
but there's been an accident.
Hortense and Bertram...
they're daid.
They're daid!
They're died-ded!
They're walkin' in
the green fields
with baby Jesus.
Right.
And we can only imagine
how sad it must be
to lose a daughter.
Actually,
I'd imagine it's roughly
one-tird as difficult
as losin' a son.
And just a little bit
harder
- than losing a kitty-cat.
- Right.
Oh, my sweet, brown gal.
I wish I'd appreciated you
more in life.
Bright side--
we still have all of
Fusselforths' money.
- Hmm?
- No.
There's no money.
They were married just today.
There's no will.
There's nothing.
Oh, don't you say dat.
You take heart!
There's always sometin.
There's whiskey.
Aye, and there's, uh,
lambs and whores.
Shepherd's pie.
Aye, and the wink you get
from a redhead
when you know
you're taking her home.
Aye, living all your days
from dis day to dat
without telling your family
you looved 'em.
Yes, you've still got hope.
Get out!
Good evenin'.
Aye. Sorry about
your daughter.
No.
♪ opa, opa, opa ♪
♪ mama, mama, mama, mama ♪
♪ that's how the sailor ♪
♪ eats a beaver ♪
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Lillian?
What's going on?
Who are you?
What is this?
Some kind of ladies' night
or something?
Ladies' night?
I think I just
coined a phrase.
Ow, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
fish fork, crab tong.
Yogurt spoon, pudding
spoon, fish fork, crab tong,
Yogurt spoon-pudding spoon-
fish fork-crab tong!
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Ah! I never thought
I'd get a chance
to do that again.
It feels so exhilarating.
Uh!
Beatrice,
just leave me alone.
Let me live my life.
Lillian, you are my
sister and my best friend,
and I don't want you
to go to Hell.
Now please, just--
just drop the bottle
and let God slip inside you.
If you just let him in,
it feels so good.
Leave me alone.
These are my new
best friends now.
See this guy?
His name's The Gorilla,
and he's my new sister.
No. No.
No, that's Mr. S. talking.
That's Satan.
Oh, so you're crazy now.
No more...
alcohol!
Lillian,
give me the bottle.
- No.
- Give me the bottle.
- No.
- Give me the bottle!
- No!
- Lillian, give me the bottle!
Ah!
No.
Lillian?
Lillian, stop joking.
Lillian!
Lillian? Lillian?
Lillian, come here.
Now that's what I call
a ladies' night!
Drinks on the house, huh?
Oh, wait, no.
She broke 'em all.
- Never mind.
- Aww.
♪ oh, my, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh ♪
Hello, my love. Hello.
David?
No, not David.
Erasmus?
That's a good name.
Blanche!
Oh, what is this mess?
Oh, I just gave
birth to my baby.
Fine, but Lady Chair
requests your presence
- in the parlor and pool room.
- Yes, but--
Your seven minutes
of maternity leave are up.
And you recall what happened
when Esther
took 13 minutes of
maternity leave,
and when she returned,
her position had been filled
by Marcello, who works here
to this day.
Well, yes, but I haven't
even gotten to feed
what's-his-name yet.
Well, how hungry
could he be, Blanche?
He just got here.
- Peepers!
- It's Lady Dodo.
Hide that child!
Hide it!
No, not in the silver!
Oh, Blanche!
That's fine, that's fine.
Now go, go!
And clean yourself up.
You reek of amniotic fluid.
Lady Dodo, you're dying!
Let me cut my wrists so I
may serve you in heaven.
Peepers, you've always taken
great care of me.
You've been the finest butler
a lady could ever have,
except for your predecessor,
Jones.
Oh, and his predecessor
before him, Josephat.
Oh, and that butler over
at Digsby Manor.
I've always loved him.
Marvelous mustache.
I will do anything
for you, Lady Dodo.
Ah, well, I need only
one more--
Is that a child?
No, that's Blanche's
baby.
Ugh. There's only
one more thing
I need from you.
Oh, Dorothea.
I would love to dance
with you.
No, you fool.
I need you to sign
some papers, mister...
Spiritwalker.
The one thing we didn't lose
in this terrible tragedy
is our very real love
for one another.
Love?
I could never love you.
I am a rare beauty, and you
are a leathery plum--
a constant
disgusting reminder
of the depths I'm willing
to sink for money.
What?
Crisis averted.
The money's saved.
Ha! Just joshin'.
Commy?
Hmm?
So this morning, I get a call
from the Bank of Newport.
Now, they say there is
some unusual activity
in your account.
For the past 15 years,
Dodo has been giving
millions of dollars away
to charity--
the Street Dwellers Charity,
Unwed Mothers of Newport,
the United Coloreds
of Benetton.
It goes on and on and on.
Well, all of the companies
folded this afternoon--
all of them.
And they all transferred
their funds to one place--
the Abbey,
your Abbey.
You're going to be okay.
You own the property!
This-- this is wonderful news.
This is all-- this is so good.
Looks like Dodo won
that battle after all.
Celine? Don't.
Don't go.
Chair?
Celine?
Don't leave me! No!
No!
Celine!
Dear God, Jesus--
I think you're the same guy.
It's kind of confusing.
Anyway, I think I killed
my sister,
but I'm very, very sorry,
so please bring her
back to life.
Amen.
Lillian?
No, I-- okay.
I think-- I think
I'm doing this wrong.
Let me-- let me try again.
Um... Mr. Christ, it's me,
Beatrice,
who you promised nothing bad
would ever happen to.
Remember? Because I'm following
all your rules.
So please bring my sister
back to life right now.
Wait.
Hello?
I apologized.
Now bring her back to life.
You did it for yourself.
Now do it for my sister!
Please, Lillian.
Please.
You know what?
Fuck you, God.
Fuck you.
You don't mean
anything you say.
I don't know what I'm
supposed to be doing,
but I just do it anyways,
because you said so,
and then you just
don't help me.
I don't understand.
And you know what?
You're not real,
motherfucker.
And I fucking know it now,
so fuck you!
Money?
- Lillian, you're alive!
- Beatrice.
I should've known the only
thing that could save you
was the smell of banknotes.
- It is my favorite thing.
- Me too.
Thank God churches are
so stacked with cash.
- Let's go home.
- Yes.
It's the only thing
that matters--
just you, me, and Bellacourt.
Mm-hmm.
Come on.
Let's get out of this
stupid place.
- Lillian!
- I'll meet you there.
Oh, my God.
Huh.
How could this happen?
No.
Who the fuck is
Mitchell P. Spiritwalker?
Who the fuck is
Mitchell P. Spiritwalker!
More wine.
As you wish, Madam.
God bless the Abbey.
Oh...
Oh!
Oh, our Father,
who art in heaven,
hallowed by thy name.
Thy kingdom...
c-come...
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome feminist,
abolitionist,
perfumer,
and most recently,
best-selling Man Tub
manufacturer,
Ms. Harriet Tubman.
- Ha ha. Hi!
- Thank you.
- Yeah!
- Thank you all so much.
Ladies and gentlemen,
something truly incredible
happened here last night.
Yes.
In a symbolic gesture,
two women, one a bride,
the other a nun,
destroyed this haven of sin.
Sin!
They took a stand
against alcoholic drink
and against the men
who spend their paychecks
on whiskey
and turn into abusers.
I hate men!
These two are as of yet
unidentified,
but I assure you
that they are the new face
of feminism.
The fate of all women
could very well be
in their hands.
Ow!
Another Period...
May I have the ring, please?
Laverne has passed.
You're much more beautiful
than I ever could
have imagined.
Now it's time
to make us official.
You're right.
They're divorce papers.
Shit on my tits!
This is Father Black--
Donohue Black.
This is my simplest
daughter, Beatrice.
The best thing you can do
for those you love
is forcefully push
your beliefs upon them.
This is
Mitchell P. Spiritwalker.
I am with child.
My husband and I
are going to raise
this child together.
Welcome home, Lady Dodo.
You gave all my money
away to charity.
I'll just take
the Abbey, then.
No, you get nothing.
Well, I suppose there's
only one respectable way
to settle this--
with a duel.
Keep your little Abbey.
Lady Beatrice
locked up the liquor.
I want to go where
nobody knows my name.
Where is she, Mary?
Where is she?
♪ I want the money,
I want the fame ♪
♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪
♪ this is mine,
I got to get it ♪
♪ I got to get it,
got, got to get it ♪
♪ Another Period ♪
What is this hellhole?
Who are these people?
Why are they dressed
so terribly?
Why is that man's
face so woolly?
Um, this was a bad idea.
I think we should go.
No, alcohol must
always trump judgment.
Um, Miss Lillian,
I really think we must go.
No, I'm staying here.
Garfield, leave me here!
I would never leave you.
You can and you will!
Innkeeper!
This-- this Greek fellow
is bothering me.
All right, out you go,
you dandy.
- Come on.
- No, Lillian!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, I never thought I could
have it all, but now I do.
Husband? Darling?
What's wrong?
Um, just my eyes--
I'm having a hard time seeing.
Beginning to think maybe I
shouldn't have taken
those bandages off so soon.
The doctor did say
to wait a week.
Whoa!
Uh, Hortense,
I've gone blind.
- Oh, my goodness!
- I can't see.
- Oh!
- I need you to get the drops.
Oh, the drops!
Oh, no!
Oh-- my love, please!
I finally found happiness
only to careen
into a ditch!
Wait, wait!
I can see.
I can see.
Hortense, you've saved us.
Oh, that was close.
Thank you, Hortense.
I mean... Mrs. Fusselforth.
♪ ♪
Oh, thank goodness
I found you.
"Thank goodness I found you."
Chancellor Fong,
meet my wife.
This is the prime minister
of Taiwan.
Hello.
Um, my water--
it's broken.
And?
And I-- I need you
to deliver my baby.
Oh, Blanche.
I would love to.
I-- I would, I just--
It's the Sabbath.
But you're a doctor...
and my husband.
And I-- and I get that.
I do, I just...
I can't do any
strenuous labor on Shabbat.
You understand.
Can you
light a pipe on Shabbat?
I'm impressed that
you know the Hebrew.
Uh, but no, technically not.
One can always make
exceptions, though.
Can't you make an exception
for the birth of my child?
Please?
Blanche...
I'm going to give you 30 seconds
to get out of this room
before I get physically
violent with you.
That I'm allowed
to do on Shabbat.
Out!
I'm going to give birth alone.
So that's what's
happening right now.
Do you have the champagne
with the gold flecks in it
that Peepers serves
on Spaghetti Sundays?
Oh, yeah, I have
exactly that.
Right here.
Oh, my.
You have less teeth
than a usual man.
You must save a pretty penny
on toothbrushes
and toothpaste.
♪ turn up, turn up, turn up ♪
♪ turn up the bass ♪
I can't believe
this is all really happening.
I am married to the most
powerful man in media.
Oh, I can't wait to start
publishing my columns and books.
Hortense,
you make me laugh.
Pardon me?
Well, we're married now.
It's time for you to start
popping out those babies.
But I thought my writing
was why you married me.
Well, yeah,
but you're mine now.
But I told you
I'm barren.
Well, we'll adopt.
Ha ha!
I don't know why you're
being so difficult about this.
The point is, you're going to
stay home and rear our children.
But you kept saying
how much you admired me
being a strong, single woman.
You hit the nail on the head
with that word, "single."
You're not single anymore,
are you, Hortense?
This is making me
very aggravated--
very aggravated.
It's too much excitement.
I'm sorry, darling.
You're right, of course.
I was being a mouthy wife.
Well, yes.
I know what will
make you feel better.
Oh. Huh?
Oh.
Oh...
Hortense.
Well...
Not, not so much--
not so much teeth, Hortense.
Ahh!
Gah!
Aaaah!
When I think about how close
we came to foreclosure,
my balls become pancakes.
Yes...
What?
Can you not see
we're celebrating?
Right. We're sorry to
bother you at this hour,
but there's been an accident.
Hortense and Bertram...
they're daid.
They're daid!
They're died-ded!
They're walkin' in
the green fields
with baby Jesus.
Right.
And we can only imagine
how sad it must be
to lose a daughter.
Actually,
I'd imagine it's roughly
one-tird as difficult
as losin' a son.
And just a little bit
harder
- than losing a kitty-cat.
- Right.
Oh, my sweet, brown gal.
I wish I'd appreciated you
more in life.
Bright side--
we still have all of
Fusselforths' money.
- Hmm?
- No.
There's no money.
They were married just today.
There's no will.
There's nothing.
Oh, don't you say dat.
You take heart!
There's always sometin.
There's whiskey.
Aye, and there's, uh,
lambs and whores.
Shepherd's pie.
Aye, and the wink you get
from a redhead
when you know
you're taking her home.
Aye, living all your days
from dis day to dat
without telling your family
you looved 'em.
Yes, you've still got hope.
Get out!
Good evenin'.
Aye. Sorry about
your daughter.
No.
♪ opa, opa, opa ♪
♪ mama, mama, mama, mama ♪
♪ that's how the sailor ♪
♪ eats a beaver ♪
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Lillian?
What's going on?
Who are you?
What is this?
Some kind of ladies' night
or something?
Ladies' night?
I think I just
coined a phrase.
Ow, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
fish fork, crab tong.
Yogurt spoon, pudding
spoon, fish fork, crab tong,
Yogurt spoon-pudding spoon-
fish fork-crab tong!
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Ah! I never thought
I'd get a chance
to do that again.
It feels so exhilarating.
Uh!
Beatrice,
just leave me alone.
Let me live my life.
Lillian, you are my
sister and my best friend,
and I don't want you
to go to Hell.
Now please, just--
just drop the bottle
and let God slip inside you.
If you just let him in,
it feels so good.
Leave me alone.
These are my new
best friends now.
See this guy?
His name's The Gorilla,
and he's my new sister.
No. No.
No, that's Mr. S. talking.
That's Satan.
Oh, so you're crazy now.
No more...
alcohol!
Lillian,
give me the bottle.
- No.
- Give me the bottle.
- No.
- Give me the bottle!
- No!
- Lillian, give me the bottle!
Ah!
No.
Lillian?
Lillian, stop joking.
Lillian!
Lillian? Lillian?
Lillian, come here.
Now that's what I call
a ladies' night!
Drinks on the house, huh?
Oh, wait, no.
She broke 'em all.
- Never mind.
- Aww.
♪ oh, my, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh ♪
Hello, my love. Hello.
David?
No, not David.
Erasmus?
That's a good name.
Blanche!
Oh, what is this mess?
Oh, I just gave
birth to my baby.
Fine, but Lady Chair
requests your presence
- in the parlor and pool room.
- Yes, but--
Your seven minutes
of maternity leave are up.
And you recall what happened
when Esther
took 13 minutes of
maternity leave,
and when she returned,
her position had been filled
by Marcello, who works here
to this day.
Well, yes, but I haven't
even gotten to feed
what's-his-name yet.
Well, how hungry
could he be, Blanche?
He just got here.
- Peepers!
- It's Lady Dodo.
Hide that child!
Hide it!
No, not in the silver!
Oh, Blanche!
That's fine, that's fine.
Now go, go!
And clean yourself up.
You reek of amniotic fluid.
Lady Dodo, you're dying!
Let me cut my wrists so I
may serve you in heaven.
Peepers, you've always taken
great care of me.
You've been the finest butler
a lady could ever have,
except for your predecessor,
Jones.
Oh, and his predecessor
before him, Josephat.
Oh, and that butler over
at Digsby Manor.
I've always loved him.
Marvelous mustache.
I will do anything
for you, Lady Dodo.
Ah, well, I need only
one more--
Is that a child?
No, that's Blanche's
baby.
Ugh. There's only
one more thing
I need from you.
Oh, Dorothea.
I would love to dance
with you.
No, you fool.
I need you to sign
some papers, mister...
Spiritwalker.
The one thing we didn't lose
in this terrible tragedy
is our very real love
for one another.
Love?
I could never love you.
I am a rare beauty, and you
are a leathery plum--
a constant
disgusting reminder
of the depths I'm willing
to sink for money.
What?
Crisis averted.
The money's saved.
Ha! Just joshin'.
Commy?
Hmm?
So this morning, I get a call
from the Bank of Newport.
Now, they say there is
some unusual activity
in your account.
For the past 15 years,
Dodo has been giving
millions of dollars away
to charity--
the Street Dwellers Charity,
Unwed Mothers of Newport,
the United Coloreds
of Benetton.
It goes on and on and on.
Well, all of the companies
folded this afternoon--
all of them.
And they all transferred
their funds to one place--
the Abbey,
your Abbey.
You're going to be okay.
You own the property!
This-- this is wonderful news.
This is all-- this is so good.
Looks like Dodo won
that battle after all.
Celine? Don't.
Don't go.
Chair?
Celine?
Don't leave me! No!
No!
Celine!
Dear God, Jesus--
I think you're the same guy.
It's kind of confusing.
Anyway, I think I killed
my sister,
but I'm very, very sorry,
so please bring her
back to life.
Amen.
Lillian?
No, I-- okay.
I think-- I think
I'm doing this wrong.
Let me-- let me try again.
Um... Mr. Christ, it's me,
Beatrice,
who you promised nothing bad
would ever happen to.
Remember? Because I'm following
all your rules.
So please bring my sister
back to life right now.
Wait.
Hello?
I apologized.
Now bring her back to life.
You did it for yourself.
Now do it for my sister!
Please, Lillian.
Please.
You know what?
Fuck you, God.
Fuck you.
You don't mean
anything you say.
I don't know what I'm
supposed to be doing,
but I just do it anyways,
because you said so,
and then you just
don't help me.
I don't understand.
And you know what?
You're not real,
motherfucker.
And I fucking know it now,
so fuck you!
Money?
- Lillian, you're alive!
- Beatrice.
I should've known the only
thing that could save you
was the smell of banknotes.
- It is my favorite thing.
- Me too.
Thank God churches are
so stacked with cash.
- Let's go home.
- Yes.
It's the only thing
that matters--
just you, me, and Bellacourt.
Mm-hmm.
Come on.
Let's get out of this
stupid place.
- Lillian!
- I'll meet you there.
Oh, my God.
Huh.
How could this happen?
No.
Who the fuck is
Mitchell P. Spiritwalker?
Who the fuck is
Mitchell P. Spiritwalker!
More wine.
As you wish, Madam.
God bless the Abbey.
Oh...
Oh!
Oh, our Father,
who art in heaven,
hallowed by thy name.
Thy kingdom...
c-come...
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome feminist,
abolitionist,
perfumer,
and most recently,
best-selling Man Tub
manufacturer,
Ms. Harriet Tubman.
- Ha ha. Hi!
- Thank you.
- Yeah!
- Thank you all so much.
Ladies and gentlemen,
something truly incredible
happened here last night.
Yes.
In a symbolic gesture,
two women, one a bride,
the other a nun,
destroyed this haven of sin.
Sin!
They took a stand
against alcoholic drink
and against the men
who spend their paychecks
on whiskey
and turn into abusers.
I hate men!
These two are as of yet
unidentified,
but I assure you
that they are the new face
of feminism.
The fate of all women
could very well be
in their hands.
Ow!