Another Period (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript
Rather than be saddened by the news, Beatrice and Lillian are overjoyed at the death of their friends, the Claudette sisters, as it means there are now two spots open on the Newport 400, comprised of the four hundred most important people in all of Newport, two spots which they are sure will go to them. They have to impress the Marquis de Sainsbury, he alone who decides who makes it into the 400. The one obstacle they learn of is who Hortense has invited to the induction ceremony party, namely Helen Keller, who Hortense is sure will upstage her sisters. Despite not knowing who she is, Beatrice and Lillian have to figure out how to neutralize the Keller factor. Meanwhile Peepers has hired a new domestic named Celine. However the Bellacourts give her a new what they consider more appropriate name: Chair. Some in the household know more about Chair than they let on to the others. And Beatrice and Frederick lament the fact that they can't marry each other.
[classical music]
I can hear you breathing.
Please stop.
Eggs Dauphine, my lady. -Blanche,
I said I wanted scrambled eggs.
Blanche, you idiot!
You got egg upon my snood!
He was going to
wear that today!
Now he has to select
another snood!
I'm Lillian. I'm the pretty,
smart, funny, ambitious,
nice body,
soon-to-be famous one.
And I'm Beatrice.
I'm the pretty one.
Sir, telegram for you,
Lady Beatrice.
Ooh!
[clears throat]
Oh. Mm.
[sighs]
What does it say? -I don't
know how to read. -Right.
Oh, Darling, your friends,
the Claudette Sisters?
They've passed.
[gasps]
Our best friends died! -Finally!
The Claudette sisters' passing means
there's 2 spots open in the Newport 400...
the 400 most important
white people in all of America.
And I know who's
going to fill them.
Who?
Us.
Well, I'd like to propose a toast
to the death of our social rivals.
To the Claudette sisters!
And to tuberculosis for taking
their lives at such a young age.
Yes!
- [laughter]
Mm.
This is disgusting!
(man)
♪ I want the money,
I want the fame ♪
♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪
♪ This is mine, I gotta get it ♪
♪ I got to get it,
got, got to get it ♪
♪ Another period ♪
[classical music]
(Lillian)
Tonight's a very big night
and we have to look our best
because the head
of the Newport 400,
the Marquis de Sainsbury is
coming to meet us.
He alone decides whether we will
finally make it into society.
And when he arrives we'll prove
we're the very definition
of class and distinction.
Hello.
(Peepers)
I want those peacocks' teeth
brushed.
What is this? What are you? We don't
allow street urchins in this home.
Sir, I'm the new servant girl,
Celine.
Servant girl?
You smell of chicken gizzards.
Why are you dawdling?
We're on a very tight schedule
as we have
an important guest arriving.
Now, some of your duties will
include winding the clock,
exercising the swans,
bloodletting, ghost removal.
I am Mr. Peepers.
I am head butler to
the illustrious Bellacourts.
They are, of course, the family
of the great magnet magnate,
Commodore Bellacourt
and his lovely wife Dodo.
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
fish fork, crab tong.
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
fish fork, crab tong.
Yogurt spoon.
Blanche!
- [screams]
[cries]
This is Blanche's first week
back from the asylum.
Some people think
she's dangerous,
but the only person she's
likely to harm is herself.
We have a lot of fun
with her.
(Blanche)
I have been diagnosed with
hysteria.
And because of that,
the state made Mr. Peepers
my legal guardian.
Which basically means he can
throw me in the nuthouse
just because
he goddamn feels like it.
Frederick, when are you
going to take a wife?
Mother, I'm in love
with someone.
Well, what's that
got to do with anything?
Good morning.
Hello, I am Frederick.
Yes, I know, sir.
I've been taking care of you
since you were born.
What is that?
I'm sorry you had to see this poor
person in street clothes, Madam.
Luella hurled herself
from the balcony.
This is her replacement.
Servant, what is your name?
My name is Celine, Madam.
[laughs]
That's not a servant's name.
You should be called Barb.
Oh no, dear, that won't do.
I had that cat named Barb.
Ooh, I know!
You should be called Chair.
Beatrice, that's
a wonderful idea.
Servant, your name is Chair now.
Chair, meet Mayor Cutie.
Shake her hand, Chair.
You're welcome.
Thank God
we're finally alone.
Yes, finally. Just you
and I and no one else around.
Not a soul in the world
but you and I.
Oh, Frederick,
why can't we be married?
Because you're my sister.
Oh, applesauce.
Oh God, it turns me on
when you say that word.
I want you now, right here.
Yes, Frederick.
Undress for me.
Yes.
Yes.
Whew.
Slower.
Oh, just a few more minutes.
Oh, my goodness,
in a few more minutes,
you will be mine.
Yes.
There you are.
You ready for me right now?
Mm-hmm. Yes, Frederick.
Shall I? -Yes.
Here it comes.
Oh, your body.
Oh, God.
Yes, yes.
(Beatrice)
Almost ready?
Almost ready.
Yes.
(Beatrice)
Oh, yes.
And this is your room.
This is where you'll be living,
if you play your cards right,
for the next 40 years.
Alone.
[bell rings]
My God, that's
the custard bell.
When I return, I expect
you to be covered up.
This isn't a bordello.
Bald eagle
and toast points again?
Yuck!
Hortense,
that's enough food for you.
Lady Hortense
is my eldest daughter.
She suffers from
a variety of ailments
from photosensitivity
to thigh heft.
One can only hope she'll live
a mercifully short life.
I hope you plan on shaving
your mole
for my induction into
the Newport 400 this evening.
Oh, no, is that tonight?
I suppose I shouldn't have
invited my guests over then.
Who did you invite?
You don't have any friends.
Oh, no one.
Just somebody I met in
the Women's Temperance League.
Named Helen Keller.
What, are we supposed to know
who in the hell that is?
Is she that gal that
can't smell?
She's blind and deaf, you ninny.
[laughs]
Are you serious?
You can't have poor people
at my party!
Show some compassion, Lillian.
Hore doesn't have anything else
to live for.
My name is Hortense.
Whatever, Hore, at least
our faces are symmetrical!
Yeah, at least we don't wear
face windows!
And at least we're not barren!
[laughter]
I hope inviting the most
important woman in America over
doesn't upstage my darling
sister on her big day.
(man)
♪ Solid gold, solid gold, mofo ♪
♪ It's hot, baby ♪
We have swimming trunks,
a change for evening.
This is going to be
wonderful.
Where do you two
think you're going?
Well, we're going off
to war, of course.
You can't go to war.
We're having a party.
Yeah, which war is it,
the poor people war?
The one about the potato?
I think it might be.
I know it's an important one
that we really must go to. -Yes.
I let you leave through
all eight of my childbirths.
You can't leave tonight. The
Marquis de Sainsbury is coming.
What would I have done
during the labors?
I would have just
gotten in the way.
You think I wanted to be there?!
The marriage involves a dowry,
which is quite valuable.
(Victor)
It's almost like
a prize that you get
for enduring something horrible
or something that makes you
want to throw up.
[giggling]
When you put two penises
side by side,
that's called log stacking.
(Peepers)
Now that the Bellacourts are fed
and ready,
it is the servants' turn to eat
their single meal of the day.
This is what we call "All Meal."
So, Chair, are you having fun
on your first day?
Just think, in 20 years,
you could be
head assistant housemaid
like Blanche.
That is, if Blanche
is dead by then.
And if you ever need help
walking the peacocks
or transporting the family
feces, just let me know, Chair.
For God's sake,
my name isn't Chair.
My mother named me Celine before
she died giving birth to me.
It was the only gift
she ever gave me.
Boohoo! All our mothers
died in childbirth!
Do you think I was born Peepers?
I was once known as Mitch.
A word of warning, Chair.
If you find yourself incapable
of doing your duties,
you can hit the streets and
begin your new life as a beggar.
Oh, Chair is much too pretty
to be a beggar.
Thank you, Garfield.
Oh, yes, she most definitely
would be a prostitute.
An expensive one, too.
Yeah, she'd know how to do
all the weird stuff.
I'm not going to die!
People are living into
their 50s these days.
And I'm not going to
be here either.
I have dreams, you know.
Big dreams.
No offense, Blanche, but I don't
think you'd make it as a prostitute.
No. I'm going to work
in a factory.
[laughter]
You? In a factory? -With your face?
Do you have some magic genie
that we don't know about,
Blanche?
You're a piece of shit.
If you really want to make it
out of this house,
you need to use the only thing
a woman has going for her.
Her piss flaps!
[laughs]
You know what I'm talking about,
right, Chair?
[bell rings]
All Meal is over. Stop eating.
Everyone upstairs.
Garfield.
What the hell are
you doing here, Celine?
My name is Chair now.
[bell rings]
[bell rings]
[coughs]
I'm full.
Helen Keller is arriving!
[laughs]
Hey!
-Garfield, come with me.
Yes, Ma'am.
-No!
You can't take my cheese man
during cheese time!
[arguing indistinctly]
Lillian Abigail
Hitler Smitherhorn Fish!
You unhand that cheese man
this instant,
or 2 of your 12 horses
will be put down!
[gasps]
[screams]
Now get dressed.
Come to the foyer
and greet our guests.
Hello?
(Hortense)
Helen Keller is
coming to visit me!
Oh, I haven't been this excited
since Lillian's birthday was
the same day as the World's Fair
and nobody came to her party.
Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan.
Why is she doing that
with her hands?
Is she an Italian?
She's speaking and listening
with her hands.
Wow.
She says hi.
Beatrice, stop staring.
What? Sorry, what?
You fell asleep with
your eyes open again.
Helen would like to thank Hortense
for her financial contribution
to our women's
suffragette movement.
Oh.
Well, to me suffrage
isn't...
Haven't women suffered enough?
I mean, we're already inferior
to men in every way.
Lillian, suffrage is
the right to vote.
Vote! Would we
have to do it every day?
If women can vote, who's next?
Horses? Tulips? Beatrice?!
[snores]
These people are absurd.
They can't make me vote.
This is
the east morphine room.
(Dodo)
Whilst my daughters were
socializing,
I decided to slip away
for a little me time.
You are to give Lady Bellacourt
10 cc's of morphine exactly.
Not a drop more or,
God forbid, a drop less.
We need to achieve
the perfect balance
between hallucination
and death.
Do you have a clean needle?
(Peepers)
Oh, what's wrong with
this needle?
It worked perfectly well
yesterday.
Ah.
[spits]
Oh, the pain!
The pain!
Oh, quit your jibber jabbering
and prick her.
[Dodo moans]
My life is falling apart.
[groans]
[sighs]
I think my husband, the
Commodore, is having an affair.
You have such lovely
alabaster skin, Chair.
I wish I had skin like that.
but Great Grand-no-no sacked a
Moorish village, and now I'm Latin.
Chair. Is that Welsh?
No, it's Chair, like a chair.
But my name.
I don't get it.
Why wouldn't you want to see?
I like seeing.
It's not that she doesn't want
to see, it's that she can't see.
Well, is she looking
through her eyes?
Go back to sleep.
The Marquis de Sainsbury
has arrived.
What? He's early! -I haven't
burned my freckles off yet.
Blanche, put a sheet
over the blind girl, now!
[screams]
Hello. I can't tell you
how pleased I am to make
your acquaintance, Marquis.
-Good morning, Your Highness.
I'm sorry that I'm early, but I
like to catch people off guard.
I'm the great
Marquis de Sainsbury,
the arbiter of who's who
in Newport society.
Now, with all this new money,
it's my job to separate
the elite
from the almost rich
vomit people.
Good figs,
is that Helen Keller?
- [cries]
-Why didn't you tell me
you had the most famous woman
in America here?
Her?!
The great tragedy
is that you cannot see
the magnificent beauty with
which God has bestowed you.
Wait, you speak that
dumb hand language, too?
I'm the Marquis de Sainsbury.
I speak all the languages.
(Lillian)
I mean, how hard could it be?
It's just hands.
[chuckles]
I am wicked.
[laughter]
You are a wicked mute.
What are you doing?
That's gibberish.
You're embarrassing yourself.
(Lillian)
She stole my moment!
When I get done with her,
being deaf and blind
is gonna to be the least
of Helen Keller's problems.
(man)
♪ 19 money,
Rockefeller, Rockefeller ♪
Who's there?
[laughter]
Utterly charming.
Tell me, what do you think
of the new women's fashion
of pants?
Oh, the butt dress? Repulsive!
I was talking to Helen.
Well, since we have such an
esteemed guest staying with us,
why don't we bring out
the cocaine wine?
Well, that sounds exotic.
What serendipity has
married cocaine and wine?
I tried opium once in Indochina
and all it made me do was
shit through my teeth.
Our guests are members of
the Women's Temperance League,
so no wine for us, thank you.
Don't worry.
It's mostly cocaine.
If it's mostly cocaine...
[blows raspberry]
Well, stuff my bottom,
let's pop her!
[laughs]
[cork pops]
[water splashing]
Yes, I quite enjoy
Frederick's bath time.
I know it's Frederick's
bath time,
but it also is, in an essence,
my bath time.
I get to wash my hands.
Oh, Garfield, sometimes I feel
as though I have nothing.
I can't be with the woman
I love. I have no career.
I have absolutely
nothing to do all day
except eat, take naps, hunt,
relax, take drugs,
play sporting games,
do all the leisurely activities
that please me.
Can you imagine not being able
to follow your dreams?
Oh, no, sir.
For you see, I work
for the Bellacourts.
Sometimes I can't believe
how lucky I am.
Frederick, can
I tell you a secret?
No, thank you.
[laughter]
That lady was Roosevelt's
daughter without a hat!
[laughter]
More cocaine wine? -Yes. -A
little bit more won't hurt.
Any lady in Newport society
needs to know how
to hold her liquor.
Well, I can hold my liquor
better than anyone!
Me, too!
Oh, my goodness,
that sounds like a challenge.
Shall we see who can drink it
the fastest?
Oh!
-Yes! Yes!
Helen, other person!
Let's race.
-One, two, three go!
Wait! I have to tell Helen
we're doing a contest.
Come on.
(Marquis de Sainsbury)
Go, go, go, go, go.
Aah!
You are all piles of trash!
I am a mountain of gold!
I won! I took the egg!
Aah!
I won, you dumb haybag!
You don't count.
Second place.
Why am I always second place?
You're not second place.
Lillian's second place!
I'm first place.
I won.
No one asked you to play, Hore!
You're fat!
"Other person"?!
"Other person"?!
I'm the one that taught her
to communicate!
Without me she'd be nothing!
You're nothing
without me, Keller!
Nothing!
I love you, Annie!
Aah!
[screams]
That's a Ming vase,
you deaf bitch!
We only have 17 of those!
[screams]
[screaming]
I wasn't totally sure
what was happening...
Aah!
but I knew I wanted
to stab someone.
[screaming]
Let go of my sister!
[screaming]
You heathens!
What is this, Baltimore?!
[gunshot]
[screams]
Intruder!
Wawa.
(man)
♪ I just want the money, money ♪
♪ I just want the money ♪
I'm sorry
Hortense ruined everything.
Who the hell is Hortense?!
I've literally been here
the whole time.
I am leaving!
Annie? Helen?
Have you ever taken a ride
in a 1901 Rolls-Royce carriage?
4 horsepower. Human leather.
Who cares about the stupid
Newport 400 anyway?
[screams]
I just want to be a Bellacourt.
We might be a little kooky,
and we might do things
in our own crazy little way,
but in the end, the only thing
that matters is family.
Mm-hmm.
Tell me, did you miss me?
Of course.
My boyfriend's back.
Are you enjoying your new
position at the manor?
I enjoy almost
every position.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, oh! Oh!
I hope it's an heir.
I mean, a boy.
[hip-hop music]
(Albert)
Next time on Another Period...
[screams]
[screams]
[screams]
[screaming]
- [screams]
- [screams]
[screams]
[screams]
[all screaming]
451
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:31,500
I can hear you breathing.
Please stop.
Eggs Dauphine, my lady. -Blanche,
I said I wanted scrambled eggs.
Blanche, you idiot!
You got egg upon my snood!
He was going to
wear that today!
Now he has to select
another snood!
I'm Lillian. I'm the pretty,
smart, funny, ambitious,
nice body,
soon-to-be famous one.
And I'm Beatrice.
I'm the pretty one.
Sir, telegram for you,
Lady Beatrice.
Ooh!
[clears throat]
Oh. Mm.
[sighs]
What does it say? -I don't
know how to read. -Right.
Oh, Darling, your friends,
the Claudette Sisters?
They've passed.
[gasps]
Our best friends died! -Finally!
The Claudette sisters' passing means
there's 2 spots open in the Newport 400...
the 400 most important
white people in all of America.
And I know who's
going to fill them.
Who?
Us.
Well, I'd like to propose a toast
to the death of our social rivals.
To the Claudette sisters!
And to tuberculosis for taking
their lives at such a young age.
Yes!
- [laughter]
Mm.
This is disgusting!
(man)
♪ I want the money,
I want the fame ♪
♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪
♪ This is mine, I gotta get it ♪
♪ I got to get it,
got, got to get it ♪
♪ Another period ♪
[classical music]
(Lillian)
Tonight's a very big night
and we have to look our best
because the head
of the Newport 400,
the Marquis de Sainsbury is
coming to meet us.
He alone decides whether we will
finally make it into society.
And when he arrives we'll prove
we're the very definition
of class and distinction.
Hello.
(Peepers)
I want those peacocks' teeth
brushed.
What is this? What are you? We don't
allow street urchins in this home.
Sir, I'm the new servant girl,
Celine.
Servant girl?
You smell of chicken gizzards.
Why are you dawdling?
We're on a very tight schedule
as we have
an important guest arriving.
Now, some of your duties will
include winding the clock,
exercising the swans,
bloodletting, ghost removal.
I am Mr. Peepers.
I am head butler to
the illustrious Bellacourts.
They are, of course, the family
of the great magnet magnate,
Commodore Bellacourt
and his lovely wife Dodo.
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
fish fork, crab tong.
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
fish fork, crab tong.
Yogurt spoon.
Blanche!
- [screams]
[cries]
This is Blanche's first week
back from the asylum.
Some people think
she's dangerous,
but the only person she's
likely to harm is herself.
We have a lot of fun
with her.
(Blanche)
I have been diagnosed with
hysteria.
And because of that,
the state made Mr. Peepers
my legal guardian.
Which basically means he can
throw me in the nuthouse
just because
he goddamn feels like it.
Frederick, when are you
going to take a wife?
Mother, I'm in love
with someone.
Well, what's that
got to do with anything?
Good morning.
Hello, I am Frederick.
Yes, I know, sir.
I've been taking care of you
since you were born.
What is that?
I'm sorry you had to see this poor
person in street clothes, Madam.
Luella hurled herself
from the balcony.
This is her replacement.
Servant, what is your name?
My name is Celine, Madam.
[laughs]
That's not a servant's name.
You should be called Barb.
Oh no, dear, that won't do.
I had that cat named Barb.
Ooh, I know!
You should be called Chair.
Beatrice, that's
a wonderful idea.
Servant, your name is Chair now.
Chair, meet Mayor Cutie.
Shake her hand, Chair.
You're welcome.
Thank God
we're finally alone.
Yes, finally. Just you
and I and no one else around.
Not a soul in the world
but you and I.
Oh, Frederick,
why can't we be married?
Because you're my sister.
Oh, applesauce.
Oh God, it turns me on
when you say that word.
I want you now, right here.
Yes, Frederick.
Undress for me.
Yes.
Yes.
Whew.
Slower.
Oh, just a few more minutes.
Oh, my goodness,
in a few more minutes,
you will be mine.
Yes.
There you are.
You ready for me right now?
Mm-hmm. Yes, Frederick.
Shall I? -Yes.
Here it comes.
Oh, your body.
Oh, God.
Yes, yes.
(Beatrice)
Almost ready?
Almost ready.
Yes.
(Beatrice)
Oh, yes.
And this is your room.
This is where you'll be living,
if you play your cards right,
for the next 40 years.
Alone.
[bell rings]
My God, that's
the custard bell.
When I return, I expect
you to be covered up.
This isn't a bordello.
Bald eagle
and toast points again?
Yuck!
Hortense,
that's enough food for you.
Lady Hortense
is my eldest daughter.
She suffers from
a variety of ailments
from photosensitivity
to thigh heft.
One can only hope she'll live
a mercifully short life.
I hope you plan on shaving
your mole
for my induction into
the Newport 400 this evening.
Oh, no, is that tonight?
I suppose I shouldn't have
invited my guests over then.
Who did you invite?
You don't have any friends.
Oh, no one.
Just somebody I met in
the Women's Temperance League.
Named Helen Keller.
What, are we supposed to know
who in the hell that is?
Is she that gal that
can't smell?
She's blind and deaf, you ninny.
[laughs]
Are you serious?
You can't have poor people
at my party!
Show some compassion, Lillian.
Hore doesn't have anything else
to live for.
My name is Hortense.
Whatever, Hore, at least
our faces are symmetrical!
Yeah, at least we don't wear
face windows!
And at least we're not barren!
[laughter]
I hope inviting the most
important woman in America over
doesn't upstage my darling
sister on her big day.
(man)
♪ Solid gold, solid gold, mofo ♪
♪ It's hot, baby ♪
We have swimming trunks,
a change for evening.
This is going to be
wonderful.
Where do you two
think you're going?
Well, we're going off
to war, of course.
You can't go to war.
We're having a party.
Yeah, which war is it,
the poor people war?
The one about the potato?
I think it might be.
I know it's an important one
that we really must go to. -Yes.
I let you leave through
all eight of my childbirths.
You can't leave tonight. The
Marquis de Sainsbury is coming.
What would I have done
during the labors?
I would have just
gotten in the way.
You think I wanted to be there?!
The marriage involves a dowry,
which is quite valuable.
(Victor)
It's almost like
a prize that you get
for enduring something horrible
or something that makes you
want to throw up.
[giggling]
When you put two penises
side by side,
that's called log stacking.
(Peepers)
Now that the Bellacourts are fed
and ready,
it is the servants' turn to eat
their single meal of the day.
This is what we call "All Meal."
So, Chair, are you having fun
on your first day?
Just think, in 20 years,
you could be
head assistant housemaid
like Blanche.
That is, if Blanche
is dead by then.
And if you ever need help
walking the peacocks
or transporting the family
feces, just let me know, Chair.
For God's sake,
my name isn't Chair.
My mother named me Celine before
she died giving birth to me.
It was the only gift
she ever gave me.
Boohoo! All our mothers
died in childbirth!
Do you think I was born Peepers?
I was once known as Mitch.
A word of warning, Chair.
If you find yourself incapable
of doing your duties,
you can hit the streets and
begin your new life as a beggar.
Oh, Chair is much too pretty
to be a beggar.
Thank you, Garfield.
Oh, yes, she most definitely
would be a prostitute.
An expensive one, too.
Yeah, she'd know how to do
all the weird stuff.
I'm not going to die!
People are living into
their 50s these days.
And I'm not going to
be here either.
I have dreams, you know.
Big dreams.
No offense, Blanche, but I don't
think you'd make it as a prostitute.
No. I'm going to work
in a factory.
[laughter]
You? In a factory? -With your face?
Do you have some magic genie
that we don't know about,
Blanche?
You're a piece of shit.
If you really want to make it
out of this house,
you need to use the only thing
a woman has going for her.
Her piss flaps!
[laughs]
You know what I'm talking about,
right, Chair?
[bell rings]
All Meal is over. Stop eating.
Everyone upstairs.
Garfield.
What the hell are
you doing here, Celine?
My name is Chair now.
[bell rings]
[bell rings]
[coughs]
I'm full.
Helen Keller is arriving!
[laughs]
Hey!
-Garfield, come with me.
Yes, Ma'am.
-No!
You can't take my cheese man
during cheese time!
[arguing indistinctly]
Lillian Abigail
Hitler Smitherhorn Fish!
You unhand that cheese man
this instant,
or 2 of your 12 horses
will be put down!
[gasps]
[screams]
Now get dressed.
Come to the foyer
and greet our guests.
Hello?
(Hortense)
Helen Keller is
coming to visit me!
Oh, I haven't been this excited
since Lillian's birthday was
the same day as the World's Fair
and nobody came to her party.
Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan.
Why is she doing that
with her hands?
Is she an Italian?
She's speaking and listening
with her hands.
Wow.
She says hi.
Beatrice, stop staring.
What? Sorry, what?
You fell asleep with
your eyes open again.
Helen would like to thank Hortense
for her financial contribution
to our women's
suffragette movement.
Oh.
Well, to me suffrage
isn't...
Haven't women suffered enough?
I mean, we're already inferior
to men in every way.
Lillian, suffrage is
the right to vote.
Vote! Would we
have to do it every day?
If women can vote, who's next?
Horses? Tulips? Beatrice?!
[snores]
These people are absurd.
They can't make me vote.
This is
the east morphine room.
(Dodo)
Whilst my daughters were
socializing,
I decided to slip away
for a little me time.
You are to give Lady Bellacourt
10 cc's of morphine exactly.
Not a drop more or,
God forbid, a drop less.
We need to achieve
the perfect balance
between hallucination
and death.
Do you have a clean needle?
(Peepers)
Oh, what's wrong with
this needle?
It worked perfectly well
yesterday.
Ah.
[spits]
Oh, the pain!
The pain!
Oh, quit your jibber jabbering
and prick her.
[Dodo moans]
My life is falling apart.
[groans]
[sighs]
I think my husband, the
Commodore, is having an affair.
You have such lovely
alabaster skin, Chair.
I wish I had skin like that.
but Great Grand-no-no sacked a
Moorish village, and now I'm Latin.
Chair. Is that Welsh?
No, it's Chair, like a chair.
But my name.
I don't get it.
Why wouldn't you want to see?
I like seeing.
It's not that she doesn't want
to see, it's that she can't see.
Well, is she looking
through her eyes?
Go back to sleep.
The Marquis de Sainsbury
has arrived.
What? He's early! -I haven't
burned my freckles off yet.
Blanche, put a sheet
over the blind girl, now!
[screams]
Hello. I can't tell you
how pleased I am to make
your acquaintance, Marquis.
-Good morning, Your Highness.
I'm sorry that I'm early, but I
like to catch people off guard.
I'm the great
Marquis de Sainsbury,
the arbiter of who's who
in Newport society.
Now, with all this new money,
it's my job to separate
the elite
from the almost rich
vomit people.
Good figs,
is that Helen Keller?
- [cries]
-Why didn't you tell me
you had the most famous woman
in America here?
Her?!
The great tragedy
is that you cannot see
the magnificent beauty with
which God has bestowed you.
Wait, you speak that
dumb hand language, too?
I'm the Marquis de Sainsbury.
I speak all the languages.
(Lillian)
I mean, how hard could it be?
It's just hands.
[chuckles]
I am wicked.
[laughter]
You are a wicked mute.
What are you doing?
That's gibberish.
You're embarrassing yourself.
(Lillian)
She stole my moment!
When I get done with her,
being deaf and blind
is gonna to be the least
of Helen Keller's problems.
(man)
♪ 19 money,
Rockefeller, Rockefeller ♪
Who's there?
[laughter]
Utterly charming.
Tell me, what do you think
of the new women's fashion
of pants?
Oh, the butt dress? Repulsive!
I was talking to Helen.
Well, since we have such an
esteemed guest staying with us,
why don't we bring out
the cocaine wine?
Well, that sounds exotic.
What serendipity has
married cocaine and wine?
I tried opium once in Indochina
and all it made me do was
shit through my teeth.
Our guests are members of
the Women's Temperance League,
so no wine for us, thank you.
Don't worry.
It's mostly cocaine.
If it's mostly cocaine...
[blows raspberry]
Well, stuff my bottom,
let's pop her!
[laughs]
[cork pops]
[water splashing]
Yes, I quite enjoy
Frederick's bath time.
I know it's Frederick's
bath time,
but it also is, in an essence,
my bath time.
I get to wash my hands.
Oh, Garfield, sometimes I feel
as though I have nothing.
I can't be with the woman
I love. I have no career.
I have absolutely
nothing to do all day
except eat, take naps, hunt,
relax, take drugs,
play sporting games,
do all the leisurely activities
that please me.
Can you imagine not being able
to follow your dreams?
Oh, no, sir.
For you see, I work
for the Bellacourts.
Sometimes I can't believe
how lucky I am.
Frederick, can
I tell you a secret?
No, thank you.
[laughter]
That lady was Roosevelt's
daughter without a hat!
[laughter]
More cocaine wine? -Yes. -A
little bit more won't hurt.
Any lady in Newport society
needs to know how
to hold her liquor.
Well, I can hold my liquor
better than anyone!
Me, too!
Oh, my goodness,
that sounds like a challenge.
Shall we see who can drink it
the fastest?
Oh!
-Yes! Yes!
Helen, other person!
Let's race.
-One, two, three go!
Wait! I have to tell Helen
we're doing a contest.
Come on.
(Marquis de Sainsbury)
Go, go, go, go, go.
Aah!
You are all piles of trash!
I am a mountain of gold!
I won! I took the egg!
Aah!
I won, you dumb haybag!
You don't count.
Second place.
Why am I always second place?
You're not second place.
Lillian's second place!
I'm first place.
I won.
No one asked you to play, Hore!
You're fat!
"Other person"?!
"Other person"?!
I'm the one that taught her
to communicate!
Without me she'd be nothing!
You're nothing
without me, Keller!
Nothing!
I love you, Annie!
Aah!
[screams]
That's a Ming vase,
you deaf bitch!
We only have 17 of those!
[screams]
[screaming]
I wasn't totally sure
what was happening...
Aah!
but I knew I wanted
to stab someone.
[screaming]
Let go of my sister!
[screaming]
You heathens!
What is this, Baltimore?!
[gunshot]
[screams]
Intruder!
Wawa.
(man)
♪ I just want the money, money ♪
♪ I just want the money ♪
I'm sorry
Hortense ruined everything.
Who the hell is Hortense?!
I've literally been here
the whole time.
I am leaving!
Annie? Helen?
Have you ever taken a ride
in a 1901 Rolls-Royce carriage?
4 horsepower. Human leather.
Who cares about the stupid
Newport 400 anyway?
[screams]
I just want to be a Bellacourt.
We might be a little kooky,
and we might do things
in our own crazy little way,
but in the end, the only thing
that matters is family.
Mm-hmm.
Tell me, did you miss me?
Of course.
My boyfriend's back.
Are you enjoying your new
position at the manor?
I enjoy almost
every position.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, oh! Oh!
I hope it's an heir.
I mean, a boy.
[hip-hop music]
(Albert)
Next time on Another Period...
[screams]
[screams]
[screams]
[screaming]
- [screams]
- [screams]
[screams]
[screams]
[all screaming]
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