Animaniacs (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Ralph World/My Super Sour Sixteen/How to Brain Takes Over the World - full transcript

♪ eerie music playing ♪

♪

‐ Huh? [sheepish laugh] Duh...

‐ ♪ It's time for Animaniacs! ♪

♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

‐ ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪
‐ ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪

♪ Just for fun, we run around
the Warner movie lot ♪

♪ They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught ♪



♪ But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪

♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain
who want to rule the universe ♪

♪ A brand new cast who tested well
in focus group research ♪

♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪

♪ And ethnically diverse ♪

♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,
but we did meta first ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ You should see our new contracts ♪

♪ We're zany to the max,
there's baloney in our slacks ♪



♪ We're animan‐ey, totally insane‐y ♪

‐ ♪ Hungry for fame‐y ♪

‐ ♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪

♪

♪

[water dripping]

[dripping continues]

[exaggerated dripping]

[sighs]

‐ [whispers]:
Yakko.

[snoring]
Wakko.

♪ jazz trumpet playing ♪
[both screaming]

[teeth chattering]

Oh no. You guys couldn't
sleep either, huh?

[water drips]

That pipe is leaking, and it's driving me

loca choca‐latta ya ya!

‐ Just stuff pillows in your ears.

‐ No! And those are mine!

Yeesh.
YAKKO: There!

I fixed it. [grunts]

‐ That's not good enough!

We have to find the source of the leak!
[struggling]

We can't keep wallpapering
over our problems.

‐ Are you sure? It's worked before.

‐ Uh, I'm Ralph, and you're glue.

Whatever wallpaper you stuck to me

is now stuck to me, too.

‐ Come on, boys. We gotta take action!

It's time to go...

BOTH: Back to bed.
‐ See our landlord!

[sighs]

[glass breaking]

♪

Now, to give that CEO
a piece of our minds.

[yelling in Spanish]
[smashing]

‐ Wow. Sounds like somebody beat us to it.

‐ I guess everybody's
water tower is leaking.

[grunts]
‐ I don't believe this!

How hard is it to find a scalding‐hot
ice cream cake in Los Angeles?

The theme of the party
is "fire and ice!" Ugh!

And you better tell BoyStorm
to just play their hits,

and not their no‐fractured
rockabilly garbage!

[kiss]
NORA RITA: Yes, sweetie.

Anything for my little princess.

[stressed laugh]

[sighs]

When did you guys get here?

‐ Is that your daughter?

‐ Why is she so angry?

‐ Did she just find out
she's related to you?

‐ Get in here!

WARNERS:
Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!

Boingy! Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!

‐ Look,

having a kid is hard work.

You have to clothe them, feed them,

and spend millions on their
Sweet 16 so they don't hate you!

♪

‐ Uh... I don't think that's right.

‐ [sarcastic laugh] M'kay.

What would you know about being a parent?

‐ Oh, I don't know. Why don't you just ask
my happy, well‐adjusted daughter Yokko?

♪

‐ Why are you here anyway?

Shouldn't you be terrorizing some
seemingly unflappable yet‐‐

easily irritated egomaniac?

‐ We're here because we have leaky pipes.

‐ We're here because our
home is filling with water!

‐ It is a water tower.

Now, leave or I'll have you removed!

‐ Oh, sounds like someone
needs to be convinced

with a public domain song

about the dangers of leaky pipes.

[inhales deeply]
‐ Don't.

[crashes]
Wait, you can sing?

‐ Oh yeah! The Multiplication Song!

‐ The Capitals!
‐ Yakko's Universe!

‐ Oh, that's you guys?
Maybe we can work out a deal.

I promised my daughter that
the boy band BoyStorm

would perform at her Sweet 16,

but they bailed last minute.
[truck rumbling]

If you are able to pose as BoyStorm,

perhaps I'd consider fixing
your little water tower.

‐ Alright, we'll do it.

But, we want 600,000 in unmarked bills.

‐ A starring role in the next
Hemsworth movie! Not Luke.

‐ A copy of the classic film Wakko's Wish!

‐ Here's your counteroffer.

A street scooter ride to
the party and a slice of cake.

To share.

‐ Deal! See?

We don't need an agent
to make great deals.

‐ And you'll make sure
our leak is fixed for good?

‐ Behave yourself at the party,
and we'll see.

[smash]
[man screaming]

[fireworks]
[crowd cheering]

♪ dance music blasting ♪

‐ Hey! Stop looking at your phones

and cheer louder for me! But also,

somebody post this and tag me. Please!
[elephant trumpeting]

[trumpeting]
Aw, thank you!

‐ We've been waiting here for hours.

We're very hungry!

‐ Ugh! Shut up, Kyle!

Your low blood sugar just got
you banned from the party!

[shutters snapping]
TEENS: Ooh! Drama!

‐ And now,

what you've all been waiting for!
[cheering]

[trumpeting]

♪ dance music blasting ♪

[flames roaring]

It's my Sweet 16!
[crowd cheering]

Thank you, everybody!
Please shut your mouth holes

and focus your eye holes on my mouth hole.

Even though it's my birthday,

I'd like to give all of you a present.

The bad boys of inclement weather...

BoyStorm!

[cheering]

YAKKO:
We just wanna wish a super sweet 16

to Cora. And now,
[cheering continues]

we're gonna perform our song Category 5.
[hissing]

[thunder]

[hissing]

[thunder rumbling]

[crowd gasps]

[heavily auto‐tuned singing]:
♪ Girl, you know
that our love is like... ♪

♪ A perfect storm ♪

♪ Category one, now we're having fun ♪

♪ Category two, it's just me and you ♪

♪ Category three, it's just you and me ♪

♪ Category four, just a little bit more ♪

♪ Category five ♪

♪ Never felt more alive ♪

♪ Category five ♪

♪ Never felt more alive... ♪

[crowd gasping]

♪ song ends ♪

‐ Ah! They're fakes!

[crowd booing]

MALE TEEN:
Whoa! Someone call the Coast Guard!

♪

‐ Um...
♪ Canada, Mexico, Panama ♪

♪ Haiti, Jamaica, Peru? ♪

‐ Mom! Where is happening?

Where is BoyStorm? Who are these things?

YAKKO/WAKKO:
We're the Warner Brothers!

‐ And the Warner Sister!

‐ Am I supposed to know what that means?

‐ Not a Hulu subscriber I'm guessing.

We'll get you a seven day
free trial. With ads.

‐ Uh, I can afford premium

'cause I can afford shoes

and more than one item of clothing each.

‐ Oh, I see.

You think being mean
makes you interesting.

‐ I am shocked, shocked,

that you... impostors crashed

my precious boo‐bear's party.

‐ But, you're the one who‐‐

‐ Is absolutely horrified

to think of what you must've
done with the real band.

Because the only possible reason they
wouldn't be here is if you kidnapped them.

♪

Or tied them up and left
them in a walk‐in refrigerator.

Or poisoned them with...
poisonous... poison!

‐ Ugh! Mom! This is worse
than my quinceañera!

Stop embarrassing me,
and get off my stage!

And send these three back
where they came from.

I'm guessing Dr. Seuss' garbage can.

‐ Alright! We'll see ya!
‐ Ooh! Hang on.

I think Dot's about to blow.
[kettle whistling]

[explosion]
‐ How dare you! You're talking to

Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa
Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III!

[gasping]

‐ Well, I am Queen Cora Nora
Bora Bora Angora Dora Norita IV!

[crowd cheering]
[both gasp]

‐ Are you sure? Because it feels like

I'm talking to a spoiled brat
whose mommy gets her everything she wants!

‐ That's not true!
[thud]

I asked for an ice sculpture of a dolphin,

but this is clearly a porpoise!

‐ Don't worry, sweetie.
Mama will fix this.

She'll make it a dolphin for you.

‐ Aw, poor crybaby.

And I suppose you hate
your widdle birthday cake, too?

‐ Yeah, doi! It was supposed
to be a tres leches,

but with ice cream, it's cuatro leches!

♪

[loud chewing]

‐ I'm so sorry, honey.

I'm not going to let this ice cream
ruin your special day.

‐ How about these streamers then?

CORA:
Tacky!

Just like this dance floor
and the DJ's taste in music!

[smash, scream]
‐ No! That's my roommate's!

‐ Thank you for the constructive feedback,
darling. Let me tear up this dance floor,

literally, and replace it
with a better one.

Whoa!
‐ Ugh!

Mom, you're not helping!

Don't you get it?
None of this is what I wanted!

I didn't want these flowers!

I didn't want this photo booth!

♪

I didn't even want this elephant!

It was supposed to be
a woolly mammoth from that prehistoric zoo

only rich people know about! [sobs]

[elephant trumpeting]

[trumpeting]
[screaming, flames crackling]

[crowd screaming]

[trumpeting]

♪

[screaming continues]

[trumpeting]

[crashing]

[crashing]
[gasping]

♪

‐ Wow. Great shindig, Cora.

Um, quick note.

You generally want your guests
to have fun at a party,

not run away in terror.

‐ Who cares? This party was
doomed before it began.

‐ Hey! I think we did a pretty
good job being BoyStorm!

‐ Yeah! I got six pack abs!

[drumming]

‐ And I grew a soul patch!

‐ It's not that.

When it's your Sweet 16,
everybody has to pay attention to you.

‐ But, sweetie, we were‐‐
‐ Mom,

never interrupt me when I'm telling
a story about you paying attention to me.

♪

[sighs] And at the end of the night,

you get to slow dance with
the cutest, tallest guy in school.

And that guy is Aaron Wong,
but he couldn't come to my birthday

because he's on vacation in Patagonia.

[crying]

‐ Oh, I see.

I think we finally found
the root of the problem.

‐ Yeah! There was no baked potato bar!

‐ Yes, there was!
‐ There was?

No!

‐ It didn't matter how much
stuff your mom bought

because this party was never
going to be perfect without Aaron.

Isn't that right?

‐ Finally, someone understands me.
NORA RITA: I do,

honey! I do! In fact,

I'm going to fly to Washington right now

and demand they sink Patagonia
to the bottom of the ocean

so that bad place never hurts you again.

‐ You know I meant you, right?
‐ Yeah.

♪

[rumbling]

♪ pop music playing ♪

[girls gasp]

‐ Hey, excuse me. Is this Cora's Sweet 16?

‐ No, this is an episode of Animaniacs.

I'm Yakko, that's Wakko and Dot,

and this is one of our
recurring cast members.

[grunts]
‐ [squealing] Are you...

‐ We're BoyStorm. I'm the cute boy.

‐ Oh, wrong! I'm the cute boy.

‐ No, Leon, you're the funny boy.

We settled this in arbitration.
CUTE BOY: Sorry, we're late.

Our flight was canceled,
but we drove all night

because the one thing
we wanted to do most in the world

is celebrate... Cora!

‐ Cora's special day!

‐ You're too late.

We sorta destroyed the party already.

[helicopters whirring, sirens blaring]

‐ We can have an after party at our house,

but we still got that annoying leak.

‐ Oh. Well, you're in luck.

BoyStorm... boys‐semble!

♪

You know, we were discovered
while studying plumbing

at Rust Belt Technical College.

Just a little tidbit for
you to tell your friends.

‐ College? Huh. I thought you were all 16.

‐ Uh, yeah. S‐sixteen. Totally.

Oh wow! Can you hand
me that wrench, please?

‐ [giggling]
Oh my god, oh my god!

I can't believe I got to hand a wrench

to Leon from BoyStorm!

Thanks, Dot.
‐ Any time.

I felt the same way

when we tricked Yo‐Yo Ma
into fixing our furnace.

LEON:
Oh! Well, there's your problem.

You got an octopus living in your pipes.

‐ That's where he went.
Thanks, BoyStorm!

‐ ♪ Righty tighty, lefty loosey, girl ♪

♪ That's how we tighten screwsies ♪

[trumpeting]
[smash, crash]

[thunder]

♪ Pinky & the Brain theme song playing ♪

‐ Gee, Brain, what do
you wanna do tonight?

‐ The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

[thunder]

♪

‐ ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

PINKY [singing, child‐like]:
♪ Pinky's how‐to! ♪

♪ Pinky's how‐to! ♪

♪ See how I do! ♪

♪ See how I do! ♪

♪ I like to make videos ♪

♪ I like to make videos ♪

[screaming]:
I really like to make videos!

♪ See how I do ♪

[beep]

♪

Hey, Pinky! It's me everybody!

Oh wait, that doesn't
sound right. Oh well.

For today's how‐to video,
we have a very special guest indeed.

It's my bestest friend Brain!

He's gonna show us how
to take over the world.

BRAIN:
No, I am not.

♪ childish music ♪

PINKY: Brain starts every plan
to take over the world

by writing down all his personal problems

in secret code.
[Brain sighs]

‐ It's a math problem, Pinky.

Now, leave me alone
before we have a real problem.

PINKY: He's not comfortable
sharing his emotions.

‐ If you must know, I'm working out

a complex formula involving
quantum entanglement,

chaos theory, and thermodynamics

in order to predict lottery ball drawings.

Once I claim the jackpot winnings,

I will use my earnings to
purchase a deep‐water drill

to disrupt tectonic plates, causing‐‐

PINKY:
[laughing] Meow! [laugh]

‐ Pinky, why are you laughing?

PINKY: [laugh] Because it's
your best plan yet, Cat‐Brain!

‐ You weren't even paying attention.

‐ You said it, Brain!

Don't forget to smash that
subscribe button! Poit!

♪

Hello! While Brain is working,

I figured I'd do one of those unboxing
videos you've all be asking for.

Woo! I've been waiting forever
to see what's inside!

[clatter]

It's bubbly wrap! My favorite!
[crinkling]

[pop]
[laughing]

Woo! La‐la‐la!
[popping]

Pop! Pop! Pop! [laughing]

Whoa!
[crash]

[gasping]

Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! [gasping]

‐ Pinky, could you please parody
something fresher?

And quieter.

‐ [gasp] You mean like ASMR?

[whisper]: Don't these bubbles sound nice?
[crinkling]

♪

BRAIN: Where is my transmitter?

‐ [whispers]: Don't forget to smash
that subscribe button!

[beep]

♪

You can't take over the world
on an empty tummy, can you?

No! And that's why Brain

always has an afternoon snack!

Looks yummy!

‐ This isn't a snack, Pinky.

I am wiring a remote that will
control the temperature of‐‐

[zap]
‐ [screaming] Ooh!

Al dente! [laughs]

‐ Pinky, stop eating my invention!

‐ He never likes to share.
And speaking of sharing,

feel free to share this
video with your friends,

and smash that subscribe button!

‐ I am going to smash you, Pinky‐‐
‐ [indistinct]

Interesting. It appears these balls

consist of 98% Hevea Brasiliensis sap

and 2% nitrocellulose.

I'll have to adjust
the temperature accordingly.

‐ You can't take over the world
by working all the time.

You also gotta have fun!

Got room for one more, Brain?

I wanna play in the ball pit!

‐ It's not a ball pit,
you blockheaded boob.

‐ [quietly]: Brain! You can't say
the B word! Kids watch my show!

So, Brainy Brain!

How does this ball pit work?

‐ Pinky, no!

[whirring, clinking]
Ooh! Ow!

[grunting]

Pinky! [grunting]
‐ Ha, ha, don't start without me!

BRAIN:
Ow! Oh! Ow! Ooh!

PINKY: Woo! Looks like
you're having a ball, Brain. [laugh]

Hey, everybody, it's me! Pinky!

Oh! I got it right that time. Yes.

Now then, just doing a quick promo

to let you know all about
the freshest swaggy‐taggy merch

you can get your paws on,

like this "Poit" necklace

or this "Narf" flying disk!

[grunt]
[Brain screams]

Or this large‐sized Pinky plush toy.

‐ Unhand me, you vlogging vermin!

I have nearly finished
calculating the R‐coefficient

of my mathematical model!

‐ [nasally]:
[grunt] Oops! Gotta go! [laugh]

Thanks for watching this how‐to video!

Don't forget to tune into tonight's
livestream and use the promo code

"PRETTY‐IN‐PINKY 11122"

for any Pinky merch.

[beep]

♪

Okay, guys. I'm going live

for the big finish of our
"how to take over the world" video.

Leave your comments below,

and don't forget to smash
that subscribe button!

ANNOUNCER [TV]: Tonight's Bingo Bango
Ballo Jackpot is $20 million.

We'll be right back with
the numbers after this.

‐ Okay, Pinky.
The drawing is moments away.

On my signal, you will adjust
the remote that controls

the thermostat in
the lottery drawing studio

to precisely 94.3 degrees Fahrenheit.

The perfect temperature
for ball manipulation.

‐ Brain, this is Chat‐Sta‐gram!

You can't just say anything you want!

ANNOUNCER [TV]: And we're back.
Let's start the drawing.
‐ Silence, Pinky. It's starting.

‐ Tonight's first number is...

‐ Now, Pinky!

[click, whirring, beeping]

‐ 16.
[click]

20... [nervous laugh]

It's, uh, getting a little warm in here.
BRAIN: It's working!

♪

‐ 37. [gasp]
[click]

Jeez, it's hot in here.

[sizzling]
Can we turn down the heat a‐a bit?

Hoo! 44.
[click]

[gasp] 62.
[click]

Finally, 12.
‐ Yes!

Pinky, we've done it!

‐ Egad! Way to go, Brain!
[hearts and texts beeping]

And that's how you take over the world!

Thanks for watching!
‐ Pinky,

were you filming this?

‐ Of course not, Brain.
This is a livestream.

Can't leave the fans hanging.

The how‐to video I posted earlier
was my most popular one yet!

[laugh] Say hi to the fans, Brain!

‐ Pinky, how many fans do you have?

‐ I'm getting word that a record number of

three million winning lottery tickets have
been reported to the lottery headquarters,

and can someone turn
down this infernal heat!?

[gasp]

The $20 million jackpot
will yield a payout

of $6.66 per winner...

And the Devil's number, and the Devil
is here, and he's in my brain!

Hot! Hot!

Do something!

Heat! Hot! Oh! Hot!
‐ No... No, you couldn't have!

♪

‐ Brain, where are you going?

‐ Pinky, that video you posted

revealed my winning lottery
numbers to your entire fan base!

[distorted]: And how do you have
three million followers!?

‐ Content is king, Brain.

‐ What does that even mean!?

[sighs] No matter.

We can reuse this plan for
next week's lottery drawing.

ANNOUNCER [TV]:
Oh. Yes.

Cast. Out. The demon!

[grunting]
[smashing]

‐ Oh, perhaps not.

Come, Pinky. We must
prepare for tomorrow night.

‐ Why, Brain? What are we
gonna do tomorrow night?

‐ The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

‐ Boom! It's his catch phrase! He said it!
[beeping]

I told you he would!

[angry growling]
[smash]

♪