Angelyne (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Gods and Fairies - full transcript
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss me love ♪
♪ Just one kiss,
kiss will do ♪
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss me love ♪
♪ Just one kiss,
kiss will do ♪
♪ Why death, why life ♪
♪ Warm hard, cold darts ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss me love ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm bleeding inside ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's a long, long story
to tell ♪
♪ And I can only show you
my hell ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Touch, touch, touch,
touch me love ♪
♪ Just ♪
- Hm.
- At long last, Angelyne.
- Jeff.
I'll have a plate of tomatoes
and a coffee, please, Ronnie.
- Of course.
- Is that for me?
- It is, yeah.
It's your perfume.
- Mm.
What a gentleman.
This smell...
this is the way to world peace.
- Hope you enjoy.
I did not bring her perfume.
I didn't.
- You can give the check
to him.
- May I?
- Mm-hmm.
So when are you going
to publish this?
I don't know.
We literally just started
the conversation.
- Because Indiegogo has
a time limit,
and I want the filet mignon
of billboard space.
- Right.
Well, the more we talk,
the better I get to know you,
the sooner I can publish.
How's that?
You are such a Taurus.
It's cute.
- I am a Taurus.
How'd you figure that out?
- Passionate, persistent,
persuasive.
You courted me.
- You made me court you.
- Did I?
- You know,
I grew up seeing
your billboards all over town.
♪ ♪
There were hundreds of them.
How were you financing
the billboards back in the day?
Is it true there was
a rich husband
who paid for everything?
- Silly boy.
All rumors.
None of it is true.
- Angelyne's billboards?
My dad paid for those.
♪ ♪
- "I-I could beat you
in a court."
♪ ♪
Oh.
Well, would you look at that?
The avocados
are finally coming in.
Hm.
♪ ♪
Hey, darling.
- Morning, Dad.
♪ ♪
- Ah.
♪ ♪
For Chrissake, Harold.
This is my home!
Tell her
to call you at the office.
- I don't even know
how she got this number.
She is really something else.
- Of course you know how
she got it.
You gave it to her.
Just admit it.
- Dad.
Please don't answer.
- You won't admit it, though,
will you?
Because you're a coward.
- Oh, Eve, honey,
that is not nice.
I never call you names.
- I just can't...
I can't take it anymore.
Not in my house.
I swear, I will leave
and move back to London
if you answer this phone.
- Excuse me.
- Dad,
please don't do this to Mom!
- Your mother likes
to be upset about things.
Good morning, Angelyne.
- No!
Oh, really?
- Okay,
maybe it wasn't that bad,
but I remember it feeling
that bad.
I mean, we used to be a fun,
loving, peaceful, Jewish family
before she came along.
Right?
But then the calls started:
every day for years,
7:00 a.m., 11:00 p.m.
Can I speak to your daddykins?
Uh, who was this woman,
and what was she doing
in my life?
- Wendy...
Oh, his daughter?
She's hardly even a part
of the story.
- So my father's name was
Harold Wallach.
He ran a printing company
that he had inherited
from his father.
Uh, they did posters,
billboards, you know,
paid ads.
His employees just loved him...
just loyal as they come...
because my dad took care
of them.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪
♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪
♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪
♪ Monkey must communicate ♪
♪ ♪
- Harold Wallach,
please.
♪ ♪
- Um, is he expecting you?
- That depends.
Tell him I'm a busty blonde
with a business proposition,
and I guess we'll see.
♪ ♪
If you'd like,
I can go back there myself.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪
♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪
♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪
♪ Monkey must communicate ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Men and monkeys all are we ♪
♪ Swinging through eternity ♪
♪ ♪
- Are you an actress?
- Mm-hmm.
- You reading a screenplay?
- Yeah, it's for a show
I'm in...
or going to be in.
We're waiting
for the network to decide.
- That's fun.
- Mm-hmm.
- I thought about writing
a screenplay once...
about a scientist who creates
a giant bra
that turns me into a genius
who can fight evil.
- Cool.
- Hi,
Mr. Wallach will see you now.
- Good luck with your show.
- Thanks.
- If you believe
that it can happen,
it will.
And my old boyfriend used
to handle all the pictures,
but he is out of the picture.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I don't even know
where he got them printed,
but he was super cheap,
and I only want the best.
So I grabbed the yellow pages,
I closed my eyes,
and I said,
"Find me the best printer
in all the land,
gods and fairies."
♪ ♪
You are the best, right?
- Oh, yeah... yes.
Of course.
Gods and fairies, right.
We can do your posters,
of course.
Whoever did these used
the four-color process,
so the pink doesn't really, uh,
pop out like it should.
- You are so smart, Harold.
Wow.
Thank you.
Uh, but uh, look,
I... I... I have to ask,
what are you advertising?
- Oh, these old ones were
for my band.
We're currently looking
for a new guitarist.
It's a long story.
The new ones will be just
for me.
- So you're a singer?
- I'm...
Whatever you want me to be.
- Oh.
Okay.
Well, right.
We do posters for cigarettes
and soda and movies and...
so... so
what are you advertising?
- Myself, of course.
- Yourself?
♪ ♪
- Myself.
- You wanna put up posters
of yourself,
just you,
around the city?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
Why not?
Nobody's ever done it.
Why not start now?
- Well, I... I'm not one
to turn down business,
but it's
a very unorthodox idea.
- Well, we didn't need
to send a man to the Moon.
That could also be thought of
as an unorthodox idea.
But we did it, and it inspired
millions of people
around the globe,
maybe even the galaxy.
We don't know yet.
- Hmm.
- I'm only interested
in paving new roads, Harold,
not following old ones.
But if you'd rather follow
an old one,
that's okay,
and I'll find someone else.
♪ ♪
- I never thought of it
like that before.
♪ ♪
Now this could be brilliant.
Brilliant.
It... it's a kind
of avant-garde advertising.
- Dad?
- Like you're... one second,
honey... like you're making
some radical social statement.
Now, I'm not sure
what that statement is exactly,
but maybe that's why
it's so inspiring.
And with your looks
and charisma,
- perhaps we should think bigger.
- I like that.
- Mm-hmm.
Perhaps...
- Much bigger?
- Yep.
- Imagine my face...
here on a billboard looking
over all of Hollywood.
Imagine all this
for the entire world to see.
- God, yes!
And people will look up
and wonder...
oh, it will drive them mad
with curiosity.
They'll think,
"Who is this woman?"
'Cause you're not a movie star.
You're not a model.
You're just...
- Angelyne.
- The billboard queen.
- Yes.
Yes.
- Ah.
What's your budget?
- Well,
I... I don't have a budget.
♪ ♪
But if everything goes
according to my master plan,
I'll be
the most adored celebrity
in the universe by 1989.
♪ ♪
I'll be the best investment
you ever made, Harold.
♪ ♪
- This is the one, I think,
for the billboard.
I'll need the negative.
Maybe we can crop it to fit.
- No, mm-mm.
- Hmm?
- It's this one.
It's all in my eyes, Harold.
Look in my eyes.
♪ ♪
No, no.
These eyes.
- Oh, I can't see your eyes.
- Exactly.
I want, uh,
a mysterious, ethereal quality.
♪ ♪
Do you feel it?
♪ ♪
I'm hypnotizing you
without saying a word.
- Well, sure,
but it's my money,
and I think that this picture...
- It's my face up there,
Harold, not yours.
It's this one.
♪ ♪
- You're right.
That's the one.
♪ ♪
- And...
- Hm?
- I don't want a lot of words.
Just my name.
- Mm-hmm.
- And my number.
- Mm-hmm.
- Now...
♪ ♪
I've gotta be honest.
This is all quite...
quite intoxicating.
You know, I had dreams of being
a big-time film director.
- What happened
to those dreams?
What happens to all dreams.
Life gets in the way.
My father needed me
at the plant.
That's what you do.
- Well, if you had become
a big, famous director...
♪ ♪
Then we wouldn't be sitting
here together, would we?
- That's true.
- You have to take all
of those negative thoughts
and...
♪ ♪
Put 'em in a ball.
- Mm-hmm.
And you throw them away.
- Only focus on the positive.
- On the positive?
♪ ♪
My daughter, Wendy,
is about to star
on her own television show.
How 'bout that?
I always knew with her.
I couldn't be more proud.
♪ ♪
- Well,
that Wendy is one lucky girl.
- You're from the Valley.
I can tell by the accent.
♪ ♪
Born and raised.
You are so smart, Harold.
Is your family still there?
- No, well, oof.
My sister is here, and there,
and everywhere,
and our mother died
when we were very young.
And...
my father abandoned us.
Men have always had
such great power over women.
Throughout the history
of the universe,
men have been able to do
whatever they want to women.
Sometimes they get a slap
on the wrist.
Other times,
no one says a word.
But men are also so easy
to control.
Seducing a man
is the most effective way
a woman can control a man,
and once you control them,
you take the power back.
And that is all I did
with that first billboard.
I seduced an entire city,
and I took the power back.
I had my dream team.
Harold was
the business genius,
Freddy was the photo genius,
and I was the art.
The mastery was
at a whole new level.
If it wasn't
absolutely perfect
and pristine,
we'd start over.
♪ ♪
We hunted
for the perfect location.
It had to be impossible
to miss.
Right there.
- Well, that's the money.
- What do you think?
You like that spot?
- It seems kind
of perfect.
- Harold?
- Hmm?
♪ ♪
Here we go.
- People paint me
as a vapid, talentless,
over-the-top cartoon
who's only obsessed
with fame and success.
Paint me however you'd like.
But more than anything,
this is about survival.
♪ ♪
- ♪ I see your face ♪
- Hey!
- ♪ All tired and worried ♪
♪ Why does it have
to be like this? ♪
♪ You and I ♪
- Is that you up there?
- ♪ Happy ♪
- Uh-huh.
- ♪ No one can see me
like you do ♪
- Oh!
- ♪ Like I do ♪
- Can I get your autograph?
- ♪ I see your face ♪
- As many as you want.
Oh, hey. Can I get one?
- Uh, you know,
for my girlfriend.
- ♪ Being a wife and a woman ♪
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- ♪ Please remember ♪
♪ I wanted you to be happy ♪
- Harold and I were
on a rocket ship
destined to pop the bubble
of the universe.
Should I start?
Ooh.
- So why billboards?
- Why not?
It was the next logical step.
First it was the posters.
Now it's billboards.
If you wanna grab
people's attention,
you have to tease.
- So who paid
for the billboards, though?
Uh, your father?
Rich husband?
♪ ♪
- I'm a bright pink light,
a beacon.
♪ ♪
I'm here to inspire joy
and bring the consciousness
of all mankind
a few steps higher.
Higher consciousness.
Yeah, uh,
I remember
that first billboard
so differently.
♪ ♪
What the fuck?
♪ ♪
She might as well
have been naked up there.
My eyes were just glued
to those two blimps
for breasts.
But then I noticed the number
for management,
and it was
my dad's office number.
You have to understand,
my dad was a great person:
gentle,
childlike, um,
and he adored my mother.
- Before you, Angelyne,
I didn't believe.
I didn't disbelieve.
I just...
- But his relationship
with Angelyne
crossed every boundary.
He was like a teenager
with her.
- Of course Harold and I
talked a lot,
but it was always
about business.
It was a busy,
busy, busy time.
Oh!
- Yet here I am,
awake at last,
and seeing it all
makes me weep.
- You are such a poet,
darling Harold,
but right now, I need more
than flowery phrases
to keep expanding.
Have you checked out the corner
of Beverly and Western?
- I'm pretty sure that one's
with Foster & Kleiser.
Plus, they always overvalue.
- I'll talk to them then.
They are not going to say no
to me.
How 'bout Santa Monica
and Crescent Heights?
- You really think it's worth
the asking price?
- I wanna get to ten billboards
by the end of the year.
Have you looked
at my updated list?
- Uh, yes.
- And?
- Yes, I'm reading it
as we speak.
Uh, yep.
How do you have
a sprinkler guy?
I don't even have
a sprinkler guy.
- I don't have a sprinkler guy.
The sprinkler guy simply exists
to offer his services,
and it's up to me
to balance the scales.
You understand?
- Not really, no.
- I don't know why
the entire world doesn't work
on a barter system.
Let's say Tom wants
an autographed photo
of Angelyne.
Now, Tom...
Just so happens to
be an irrigation specialist,
so rather than money,
I trade him
for a new sprinkler system.
Now, Dick owns
the billboard space
that I want.
Dick just so happens
to be desperate
for a new sprinkler system,
so I connect Tom and Dick,
and mwah.
Ooh, voilà.
I get a new billboard.
Oh!
- Everywhere you turned,
there she was.
People like to talk
about water cooler moments
in pop culture today.
In 1980s LA,
Angelyne was the water cooler.
- This show is gonna make you
so famous.
Soon there'll be
Wendy lunch boxes,
a Wendy backpack.
I'm so ready.
It's finally happening.
I mean, I know I'm only 19,
but still.
- Don't get surprised
if the camera adds
a little weight.
If you wanna stay thin,
chew on ice.
- I was starring
in my own sitcom.
Millions dream of this moment,
and I was living it.
But sure enough,
Angelyne found a way in.
- Guess who just had
another Angelyne sighting.
- Second time this month.
- Ooh.
That is good luck.
- You guys,
I just saw her yesterday
at the Chevron in Melrose.
She gave me her business card
while her sugar daddy
was pumping her gas.
- He's probably getting
something in return.
- Maybe I'll call him so I can
get in on the billboard game
once this show
inevitably crashes and burns.
- We should totally call
the number.
Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, we are so bad.
- Hey,
just planning out my future.
And if I gotta sleep my way
up...
Mm, here we go.
- Thank you
for calling Angelyne.
You can leave
a magnificent message.
Hey, Angelyne's manager.
This is...
- Stop it!
Fucking stop!
- The phone
would not stop ringing.
There were fans calling
from every corner
of the solar system.
- I just really feel
like we're connected
in a cosmic way.
- Mm.
Angelyne,
I just think
you're so beautiful.
- That's sweet.
- Angelyne, will you marry me?
Oh, Angelyne.
Oh, God.
- Ah.
- Least he knows my name.
Whoo.
- This is Joe Haywood
at the "LA Times."
I'd love to set up
an interview with Angelyne.
- "LA Times."
That's the big leagues.
- Make him give you a list
of the questions
so I can approve them first.
- I don't think
he's gonna do that.
- Hi,
I'm producing a movie,
and the director is a big fan
of yours
and has specifically requested
to see you audition
for the part.
Uh, call me back for details.
213-109-0248.
Ciao for now.
I look forward to it.
Do you have
any acting experience?
- I've dipped a toe in.
- Yes, but can you act?
I've seen Wendy rehearsing.
It takes a lot of work.
- I've lived to be Angelyne
this long.
- Hello, yes.
Uh, my name is Harold Wallach.
I am returning a call regarding
Angelyne.
♪ ♪
Yes, that Angelyne.
- Marketing drives
the industry,
and I had a built-in fan base.
Nowadays, it's all about
how many Instagram followers
you have,
all of which is nonsense,
but I started all that.
With my billboards
all over Hollywood,
movie studios were begging
for me.
Okay.
- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- And I'm Samantha?
- Yep.
- Okay.
- I'm busy, Samantha.
Not right now.
That was your cue.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
I'm sorry.
Hold on.
Oh, right. Sorry.
Okay, okay.
If not now,
then when, Steve?
It's always work, work, work
for you.
- Uh, okay.
Do it softer
and, um, sexier.
- If not now,
then when, Steve?
It's always work, work, work
for you.
- Yeah, good.
Really good, okay.
Um, let's try it again,
so let's sit down for this one.
Come on.
Okay, um,
so it needs to sound feminine,
but still
with some aggression, okay?
Try it.
- Oh.
- I'm busy, Samantha.
- Okay.
- Not right now.
- Just.
If not now, then...
- Whoa. No, no, no.
What are you doing?
- Why are you laughing?
- Angelyne,
I'm asking you to tease.
That's not hard.
And you said yourself
you've been teasing men
from a young age, right?
- All right...
- So tease me.
- Mm.
- I was
completely disrespected.
- I am so, so sorry.
I should've done more vetting.
It's so unprofessional of them,
of me.
- I do not wanna be put
in a position
like that ever again.
And that "LA Times" guy?
He didn't ask any
of the questions
that I wanted him to ask.
- I know.
- He kept asking
where I was born, and my age,
and about my family,
and none of that matters.
- No, you're absolutely right.
Okay, you have qualities
that produce visions.
All right?
And these celebrity leeches...
they focus on tabloid gossip.
Now perhaps you have become
too accessible to people...
- I'm done acting.
- And that is my fault.
- I don't wanna be famous
for something that I do.
I wanna be famous for who I am.
- Right.
- I will only be Angelyne.
- Right.
And that is all you ever need
to be.
You don't have to be anything
or anyone
other than Angelyne ever again.
I promise you that.
♪ ♪
I believe in you.
♪ ♪
- Thank you, Daddykins.
- All right.
♪ ♪
Try and get some sleep.
♪ ♪
My father was officially living
on another planet,
while I was in dire need of him
on this one.
But Dad, this is truly, totally
what I wanna do with my life.
If you don't believe in me,
well,
I don't know what I'll do.
- I do believe in you, honey.
- Yeah?
- I truly, totally do.
Cut and reset.
- Shoot, sorry,
did I step on your line?
- No, no, no, no.
You're fine.
- Good.
Whew.
Thanks.
I'm gonna miss this.
Wendy, you're a sweetheart.
Keep your chin up.
You'll do great.
- Wait,
are you leaving the show?
- They haven't told you.
Goddamn sons of bitches.
- Told me what?
- Back to one.
Back to one.
Last looks, please.
- What, Mike?
- We're canceled, kid.
- Sound speed!
From the top.
- What?
- Background.
Action!
- I want the best for you,
but the music business is
brutal and unforgiving.
It's okay
to give up on your dreams.
No one'll judge.
♪ ♪
- But Dad, this is truly,
totally what I want to do
with my life.
If you don't believe in me,
I don't know what I'll do.
- Wendy, I know you're worried
about the camera,
but there's, uh...
there's no MSG.
Mm.
- Did you know
my show got canceled?
- Hm?
- Last week.
Kept waiting for you to ask.
- Oh, my God, I am so sorry,
Wendy.
You know,
that... that really gripes me.
I never saw any advertising.
You want viewers,
you have to advertise.
Maybe I can put up
some billboards.
- No, Dad.
It's done.
You can't fix it.
- Have you ever heard
of the word "penopotist"?
- That's not a word.
- It means that you can take...
any impossible situation,
turn it around.
You make it possible.
Just focus on the positive.
That's how Angelyne lives.
I gotta say,
the results are stunning.
- I don't want to hear
another word
about bloody Angelyne.
- That's very negative, honey.
- Oh, well.
- Very negative.
Listen, she's not
a penopotist...
for sure.
- Why do you spend so much time
with her?
- We work together.
She needs me.
- We need you.
Mom needs you.
Do you want a divorce?
- I think you're overreacting.
- Dad, she doesn't even have
any talent.
- That's her talent.
- But I have real talent!
- Exactly.
That's why you don't need me
the way that she does.
But if you do, my God,
I am here for you always.
I just told you I'd put up
a billboard for you.
- That's not the point.
♪ ♪
I, um...
♪ ♪
Please eat something.
Please, Wendy.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- The world is a cruel place,
and we're all just trying
to get by,
whatever way we know best.
And once you figure
out what works,
you just keep moving
on forward...
♪ ♪
No matter the roadblocks
that stand in your way.
- It was 1984, I think.
- Next.
- I was auditioning full-time
then, you know,
usually for guest spots,
three-episode arcs.
And I saw the Corvette.
♪ ♪
- Thank you so much.
♪ ♪
Angelyne!
♪ ♪
It was primal.
I must key her car.
I have no choice.
I'm Harold Wallach's daughter.
You probably don't remember me,
but I thought
I should reintroduce myself,
seeing as that you're such
a big part of my family's life.
- Hi.
Harold has told me so much
about you.
- Oh, I'm sure.
Yeah.
- I love your hair.
It's so pretty.
- I didn't want a compliment
from her.
I was here to unleash rage.
- Are you here for an audition?
Harold told me
you're auditioning again.
- Yeah, but that's...
- What were you auditioning
for?
- To play a dead hooker.
It was for a guest spot
on "The A-Team."
- I don't know, I swear
she said it was a dead hooker.
Why would I lie?
- They wouldn't hold auditions
for a...
Dead hooker.
So scandalous.
- That's not what I said.
What... what are you even doing
here?
- Oh, I'm in a movie.
Yeah, look,
that's my trailer right there.
Hm.
It's fit for a queen, right?
- You... you don't act.
- I know.
I'm playing myself.
Yeah,
I didn't even have to audition.
Just gave them a list
of my demands and... ooh...
they met every single one,
so here I am.
- Are you sleeping
with my father?
- No, I'm not.
- I believed her.
Yeah,
her relationship with my father
was never sexual.
It was emotional...
Which was worse.
What are you even doing
with him?
He's not a manager.
He's a printer.
- It has nothing to do
with you.
- He's my dad, not yours.
♪ ♪
- Now you've crossed a line.
- Are you kidding?
You... no, you crossed the line
way before I ever came close
to the line.
- You're just upset
because your little show
got canceled.
- She knew exactly
how to hurt me most.
Stop calling my house.
It upsets my mother.
- I love your mother.
- You don't even know
my mother, Angelyne!
She hates you!
Just go get your own family
and stay the hell outta mine!
- Wendy, how are you?
♪ ♪
- I think she was jealous
of everything.
Really, my fame, my success.
She tried acting,
but it didn't work out.
Meanwhile, her father invested
millions of dollars in me,
and it paid off.
Wouldn't you be jealous?
♪ ♪
- ♪ Music in the icebox ♪
♪ Laughter in the dark ♪
♪ Echoes in the silence ♪
♪ Waiting for the spark ♪
♪ Hold me while I'm naked ♪
♪ Catch me if you can ♪
♪ Suicide statements ♪
♪ Are the measure of the man ♪
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
- Here she is.
30 minutes late
and right on time.
Angelyne, meet Lou and Sheldon.
- Lou and Sheldon, mm.
Such strong names.
Nice to meet you, Angelyne.
- So boys, what is this about?
Harold tells me you're a fan
of Angelyne.
Me too.
- Well,
as I was just telling Harold,
uh, your billboard
at Sunset and Vine
is in a prime location
for one of our clients.
- Hm, who's the client?
- We'd like to take over
the lease contract,
and we're willing to throw in
a couple thousand extra
to sweeten the deal.
It's a very generous offer.
- Well...
gentlemen, this is not
my decision to make.
Please talk to my partner.
Um...
no offense, but this might be
above your head.
- Mm, I... I just... I don't see
anything up there.
Listen, Sheldon,
it's not a generous offer.
It's a joke.
You really think
that I would let go
of Sunset and Vine
for a couple thousand dollars?
If you want that space,
you give me
ten of your billboards,
including the one
on Lankershim and Vineland.
Remember?
I wanted that one.
- We'll give you four,
but not Lankershim.
- Eight, and Lankershim is
nonnegotiable.
- Six.
With Lankershim.
- No soup.
What's "No soup"?
- It's from her favorite movie.
- It means
you do not have a deal.
You know my demands,
and if you can't meet them,
then I don't see any reason
to continue this conversation.
Oh, wait.
This is Harold's office, so...
I guess you two should leave.
- Fine.
Eight.
- I'm back up at ten now.
You two have been
so very disrespectful.
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
- Ooh!
- ♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
- I think it was 2001.
Right, 'cause I was pregnant
with my first kid.
And I hadn't seen Angelyne
since before I left
for college.
And then I saw the Corvette.
All of that rage just came
rushing back.
♪ ♪
Ugh, there was just
no escaping her.
Angelyne?
Wendy.
Harold's daughter.
- Oh, hi.
Course I remember you.
♪ ♪
How far along are you?
- Six months.
- Is it a boy, a girl?
Do you have a name yet?
- It's a boy, and, uh,
no name just yet.
Any suggestions?
- It's something
for the baby to choose.
- Hmm.
- How is my darling Harold
doing?
- He, um, had a stroke
last month.
♪ ♪
- Oh.
Oh, no.
I wish I'd known.
Is he okay?
- We think so.
It wasn't too severe.
He's, uh...
he's getting up there.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
I... I have no choice to be.
Baby.
- Hmm.
♪ ♪
Have you seen my new magazine?
- I have, actually.
I bought a copy
a couple months ago.
- You did?
- Oh, I can't believe
I just admitted that to you.
- Don't be silly.
I have a lot of stalkers.
- No, I'm not a stalker.
- Well...
Here's the new one.
- Okay.
- It's $50, but I'll give it
to you for $20.
It's an ultra-phenomenal
discount
for an ultra-phenomenal person.
- Thank you.
A real conversation
with Angelyne.
Took me a long time
and a lot of hard work
to realize she never really
was a threat to me
or my career.
The funny thing is,
she ended up being
a big part
of my healing process.
Please don't do this
to Mom.
I wrote, directed, and starred
in a one-woman show
about my experience
growing up in the shadow
of the Angelyne billboards,
called "Los Angelyne."
It was cathartic.
I just decided
I had to be done
being mad at her and my father.
I just had to.
It was exhausting.
I mean, they were never
really trying to hurt anyone.
Did she make his dreams
come true?
No.
He'll never become famous.
He'll only be a footnote
in the story of Angelyne,
which is itself a footnote
in the story of Los Angeles.
But... she did take him
on a great ride.
- I'd slow...
slow down a touch.
- Harold.
I'm a rebel, darling.
You can't tell me
what to do.
Well, if this is how I go,
then I... I couldn't be happier.
What about a wall?
Yeah, a wall.
Nobody has ever done that
before.
The Hollywood Plaza
has a wall,
and it's boring and blank.
- I'll look into it.
I've been thinking...
- About making a movie
of my life?
Me too.
- Yes, sure.
I like that.
I like it, but what
about an Angelyne doll?
That is naughty.
Can it be life-size?
- Of course,
and photorealistic.
- I love it.
I love it.
You know
what I've been thinking?
- Hmm?
What's that?
- Buckle up.
- I'm buckled.
Jesus Christ.
No, no, no, no!
Don't!
God!
- Open your eyes.
- ♪ How are you? ♪
♪ Have you been all right ♪
♪ Through all those
lonely, lonely ♪
♪ Lonely, lonely nights? ♪
♪ That's what I'd say ♪
♪ I'd tell you everything ♪
♪ If you'd pick up
that telephone ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ ♪
♪ How you feeling? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Are you still the same? ♪
♪ Don't you realize ♪
♪ The things we did, we did ♪
♪ Were all for real
not a dream? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I just can't believe ♪
♪ They've all faded
out of view ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Doo-wop do-be-do-do-wop ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ Blue days black nights ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ I look into the sky ♪
- ♪ The love you need
ain't gonna see you through ♪
- Harold was different
than Cory.
Harold was...
different than all
the other men in my life.
- Did the rumors bother you?
- Oh, God, no.
Mm-mm.
People can think
what they want
as long as they're thinking
of me.
Ooh!
When I was a kid,
I used to see your billboards
and think, "Who is
that beautiful woman,
and what's her story?"
Now, finally, many years later,
I get to ask.
- Who is Angelyne?
I'm something
you have to feel,
something you have
to experience.
If you really wanna know,
you have to come with me.
- ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living in twilight ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Okay ♪
♪ So no one's answering ♪
♪ Can't you just let it ring ♪
♪ A little longer, longer,
longer? ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ I'll just sit tight ♪
♪ Through shadows
of the night ♪
♪ Let it ring forevermore ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Doo-wop, do-be-do-do-wop ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ Blue days, black nights ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ I look into the sky ♪
♪ The love you need
ain't gonna see you through ♪
♪ And I wonder why ♪
♪ The little things you
planned ain't coming true ♪
♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living in twilight ♪
♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living in twilight ♪
♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living... ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss me love ♪
♪ Just one kiss,
kiss will do ♪
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss me love ♪
♪ Just one kiss,
kiss will do ♪
♪ Why death, why life ♪
♪ Warm hard, cold darts ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss me love ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm bleeding inside ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's a long, long story
to tell ♪
♪ And I can only show you
my hell ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Touch, touch, touch,
touch me love ♪
♪ Just ♪
- Hm.
- At long last, Angelyne.
- Jeff.
I'll have a plate of tomatoes
and a coffee, please, Ronnie.
- Of course.
- Is that for me?
- It is, yeah.
It's your perfume.
- Mm.
What a gentleman.
This smell...
this is the way to world peace.
- Hope you enjoy.
I did not bring her perfume.
I didn't.
- You can give the check
to him.
- May I?
- Mm-hmm.
So when are you going
to publish this?
I don't know.
We literally just started
the conversation.
- Because Indiegogo has
a time limit,
and I want the filet mignon
of billboard space.
- Right.
Well, the more we talk,
the better I get to know you,
the sooner I can publish.
How's that?
You are such a Taurus.
It's cute.
- I am a Taurus.
How'd you figure that out?
- Passionate, persistent,
persuasive.
You courted me.
- You made me court you.
- Did I?
- You know,
I grew up seeing
your billboards all over town.
♪ ♪
There were hundreds of them.
How were you financing
the billboards back in the day?
Is it true there was
a rich husband
who paid for everything?
- Silly boy.
All rumors.
None of it is true.
- Angelyne's billboards?
My dad paid for those.
♪ ♪
- "I-I could beat you
in a court."
♪ ♪
Oh.
Well, would you look at that?
The avocados
are finally coming in.
Hm.
♪ ♪
Hey, darling.
- Morning, Dad.
♪ ♪
- Ah.
♪ ♪
For Chrissake, Harold.
This is my home!
Tell her
to call you at the office.
- I don't even know
how she got this number.
She is really something else.
- Of course you know how
she got it.
You gave it to her.
Just admit it.
- Dad.
Please don't answer.
- You won't admit it, though,
will you?
Because you're a coward.
- Oh, Eve, honey,
that is not nice.
I never call you names.
- I just can't...
I can't take it anymore.
Not in my house.
I swear, I will leave
and move back to London
if you answer this phone.
- Excuse me.
- Dad,
please don't do this to Mom!
- Your mother likes
to be upset about things.
Good morning, Angelyne.
- No!
Oh, really?
- Okay,
maybe it wasn't that bad,
but I remember it feeling
that bad.
I mean, we used to be a fun,
loving, peaceful, Jewish family
before she came along.
Right?
But then the calls started:
every day for years,
7:00 a.m., 11:00 p.m.
Can I speak to your daddykins?
Uh, who was this woman,
and what was she doing
in my life?
- Wendy...
Oh, his daughter?
She's hardly even a part
of the story.
- So my father's name was
Harold Wallach.
He ran a printing company
that he had inherited
from his father.
Uh, they did posters,
billboards, you know,
paid ads.
His employees just loved him...
just loyal as they come...
because my dad took care
of them.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪
♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪
♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪
♪ Monkey must communicate ♪
♪ ♪
- Harold Wallach,
please.
♪ ♪
- Um, is he expecting you?
- That depends.
Tell him I'm a busty blonde
with a business proposition,
and I guess we'll see.
♪ ♪
If you'd like,
I can go back there myself.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪
♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪
♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪
♪ Monkey must communicate ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Men and monkeys all are we ♪
♪ Swinging through eternity ♪
♪ ♪
- Are you an actress?
- Mm-hmm.
- You reading a screenplay?
- Yeah, it's for a show
I'm in...
or going to be in.
We're waiting
for the network to decide.
- That's fun.
- Mm-hmm.
- I thought about writing
a screenplay once...
about a scientist who creates
a giant bra
that turns me into a genius
who can fight evil.
- Cool.
- Hi,
Mr. Wallach will see you now.
- Good luck with your show.
- Thanks.
- If you believe
that it can happen,
it will.
And my old boyfriend used
to handle all the pictures,
but he is out of the picture.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I don't even know
where he got them printed,
but he was super cheap,
and I only want the best.
So I grabbed the yellow pages,
I closed my eyes,
and I said,
"Find me the best printer
in all the land,
gods and fairies."
♪ ♪
You are the best, right?
- Oh, yeah... yes.
Of course.
Gods and fairies, right.
We can do your posters,
of course.
Whoever did these used
the four-color process,
so the pink doesn't really, uh,
pop out like it should.
- You are so smart, Harold.
Wow.
Thank you.
Uh, but uh, look,
I... I... I have to ask,
what are you advertising?
- Oh, these old ones were
for my band.
We're currently looking
for a new guitarist.
It's a long story.
The new ones will be just
for me.
- So you're a singer?
- I'm...
Whatever you want me to be.
- Oh.
Okay.
Well, right.
We do posters for cigarettes
and soda and movies and...
so... so
what are you advertising?
- Myself, of course.
- Yourself?
♪ ♪
- Myself.
- You wanna put up posters
of yourself,
just you,
around the city?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
Why not?
Nobody's ever done it.
Why not start now?
- Well, I... I'm not one
to turn down business,
but it's
a very unorthodox idea.
- Well, we didn't need
to send a man to the Moon.
That could also be thought of
as an unorthodox idea.
But we did it, and it inspired
millions of people
around the globe,
maybe even the galaxy.
We don't know yet.
- Hmm.
- I'm only interested
in paving new roads, Harold,
not following old ones.
But if you'd rather follow
an old one,
that's okay,
and I'll find someone else.
♪ ♪
- I never thought of it
like that before.
♪ ♪
Now this could be brilliant.
Brilliant.
It... it's a kind
of avant-garde advertising.
- Dad?
- Like you're... one second,
honey... like you're making
some radical social statement.
Now, I'm not sure
what that statement is exactly,
but maybe that's why
it's so inspiring.
And with your looks
and charisma,
- perhaps we should think bigger.
- I like that.
- Mm-hmm.
Perhaps...
- Much bigger?
- Yep.
- Imagine my face...
here on a billboard looking
over all of Hollywood.
Imagine all this
for the entire world to see.
- God, yes!
And people will look up
and wonder...
oh, it will drive them mad
with curiosity.
They'll think,
"Who is this woman?"
'Cause you're not a movie star.
You're not a model.
You're just...
- Angelyne.
- The billboard queen.
- Yes.
Yes.
- Ah.
What's your budget?
- Well,
I... I don't have a budget.
♪ ♪
But if everything goes
according to my master plan,
I'll be
the most adored celebrity
in the universe by 1989.
♪ ♪
I'll be the best investment
you ever made, Harold.
♪ ♪
- This is the one, I think,
for the billboard.
I'll need the negative.
Maybe we can crop it to fit.
- No, mm-mm.
- Hmm?
- It's this one.
It's all in my eyes, Harold.
Look in my eyes.
♪ ♪
No, no.
These eyes.
- Oh, I can't see your eyes.
- Exactly.
I want, uh,
a mysterious, ethereal quality.
♪ ♪
Do you feel it?
♪ ♪
I'm hypnotizing you
without saying a word.
- Well, sure,
but it's my money,
and I think that this picture...
- It's my face up there,
Harold, not yours.
It's this one.
♪ ♪
- You're right.
That's the one.
♪ ♪
- And...
- Hm?
- I don't want a lot of words.
Just my name.
- Mm-hmm.
- And my number.
- Mm-hmm.
- Now...
♪ ♪
I've gotta be honest.
This is all quite...
quite intoxicating.
You know, I had dreams of being
a big-time film director.
- What happened
to those dreams?
What happens to all dreams.
Life gets in the way.
My father needed me
at the plant.
That's what you do.
- Well, if you had become
a big, famous director...
♪ ♪
Then we wouldn't be sitting
here together, would we?
- That's true.
- You have to take all
of those negative thoughts
and...
♪ ♪
Put 'em in a ball.
- Mm-hmm.
And you throw them away.
- Only focus on the positive.
- On the positive?
♪ ♪
My daughter, Wendy,
is about to star
on her own television show.
How 'bout that?
I always knew with her.
I couldn't be more proud.
♪ ♪
- Well,
that Wendy is one lucky girl.
- You're from the Valley.
I can tell by the accent.
♪ ♪
Born and raised.
You are so smart, Harold.
Is your family still there?
- No, well, oof.
My sister is here, and there,
and everywhere,
and our mother died
when we were very young.
And...
my father abandoned us.
Men have always had
such great power over women.
Throughout the history
of the universe,
men have been able to do
whatever they want to women.
Sometimes they get a slap
on the wrist.
Other times,
no one says a word.
But men are also so easy
to control.
Seducing a man
is the most effective way
a woman can control a man,
and once you control them,
you take the power back.
And that is all I did
with that first billboard.
I seduced an entire city,
and I took the power back.
I had my dream team.
Harold was
the business genius,
Freddy was the photo genius,
and I was the art.
The mastery was
at a whole new level.
If it wasn't
absolutely perfect
and pristine,
we'd start over.
♪ ♪
We hunted
for the perfect location.
It had to be impossible
to miss.
Right there.
- Well, that's the money.
- What do you think?
You like that spot?
- It seems kind
of perfect.
- Harold?
- Hmm?
♪ ♪
Here we go.
- People paint me
as a vapid, talentless,
over-the-top cartoon
who's only obsessed
with fame and success.
Paint me however you'd like.
But more than anything,
this is about survival.
♪ ♪
- ♪ I see your face ♪
- Hey!
- ♪ All tired and worried ♪
♪ Why does it have
to be like this? ♪
♪ You and I ♪
- Is that you up there?
- ♪ Happy ♪
- Uh-huh.
- ♪ No one can see me
like you do ♪
- Oh!
- ♪ Like I do ♪
- Can I get your autograph?
- ♪ I see your face ♪
- As many as you want.
Oh, hey. Can I get one?
- Uh, you know,
for my girlfriend.
- ♪ Being a wife and a woman ♪
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- ♪ Please remember ♪
♪ I wanted you to be happy ♪
- Harold and I were
on a rocket ship
destined to pop the bubble
of the universe.
Should I start?
Ooh.
- So why billboards?
- Why not?
It was the next logical step.
First it was the posters.
Now it's billboards.
If you wanna grab
people's attention,
you have to tease.
- So who paid
for the billboards, though?
Uh, your father?
Rich husband?
♪ ♪
- I'm a bright pink light,
a beacon.
♪ ♪
I'm here to inspire joy
and bring the consciousness
of all mankind
a few steps higher.
Higher consciousness.
Yeah, uh,
I remember
that first billboard
so differently.
♪ ♪
What the fuck?
♪ ♪
She might as well
have been naked up there.
My eyes were just glued
to those two blimps
for breasts.
But then I noticed the number
for management,
and it was
my dad's office number.
You have to understand,
my dad was a great person:
gentle,
childlike, um,
and he adored my mother.
- Before you, Angelyne,
I didn't believe.
I didn't disbelieve.
I just...
- But his relationship
with Angelyne
crossed every boundary.
He was like a teenager
with her.
- Of course Harold and I
talked a lot,
but it was always
about business.
It was a busy,
busy, busy time.
Oh!
- Yet here I am,
awake at last,
and seeing it all
makes me weep.
- You are such a poet,
darling Harold,
but right now, I need more
than flowery phrases
to keep expanding.
Have you checked out the corner
of Beverly and Western?
- I'm pretty sure that one's
with Foster & Kleiser.
Plus, they always overvalue.
- I'll talk to them then.
They are not going to say no
to me.
How 'bout Santa Monica
and Crescent Heights?
- You really think it's worth
the asking price?
- I wanna get to ten billboards
by the end of the year.
Have you looked
at my updated list?
- Uh, yes.
- And?
- Yes, I'm reading it
as we speak.
Uh, yep.
How do you have
a sprinkler guy?
I don't even have
a sprinkler guy.
- I don't have a sprinkler guy.
The sprinkler guy simply exists
to offer his services,
and it's up to me
to balance the scales.
You understand?
- Not really, no.
- I don't know why
the entire world doesn't work
on a barter system.
Let's say Tom wants
an autographed photo
of Angelyne.
Now, Tom...
Just so happens to
be an irrigation specialist,
so rather than money,
I trade him
for a new sprinkler system.
Now, Dick owns
the billboard space
that I want.
Dick just so happens
to be desperate
for a new sprinkler system,
so I connect Tom and Dick,
and mwah.
Ooh, voilà.
I get a new billboard.
Oh!
- Everywhere you turned,
there she was.
People like to talk
about water cooler moments
in pop culture today.
In 1980s LA,
Angelyne was the water cooler.
- This show is gonna make you
so famous.
Soon there'll be
Wendy lunch boxes,
a Wendy backpack.
I'm so ready.
It's finally happening.
I mean, I know I'm only 19,
but still.
- Don't get surprised
if the camera adds
a little weight.
If you wanna stay thin,
chew on ice.
- I was starring
in my own sitcom.
Millions dream of this moment,
and I was living it.
But sure enough,
Angelyne found a way in.
- Guess who just had
another Angelyne sighting.
- Second time this month.
- Ooh.
That is good luck.
- You guys,
I just saw her yesterday
at the Chevron in Melrose.
She gave me her business card
while her sugar daddy
was pumping her gas.
- He's probably getting
something in return.
- Maybe I'll call him so I can
get in on the billboard game
once this show
inevitably crashes and burns.
- We should totally call
the number.
Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, we are so bad.
- Hey,
just planning out my future.
And if I gotta sleep my way
up...
Mm, here we go.
- Thank you
for calling Angelyne.
You can leave
a magnificent message.
Hey, Angelyne's manager.
This is...
- Stop it!
Fucking stop!
- The phone
would not stop ringing.
There were fans calling
from every corner
of the solar system.
- I just really feel
like we're connected
in a cosmic way.
- Mm.
Angelyne,
I just think
you're so beautiful.
- That's sweet.
- Angelyne, will you marry me?
Oh, Angelyne.
Oh, God.
- Ah.
- Least he knows my name.
Whoo.
- This is Joe Haywood
at the "LA Times."
I'd love to set up
an interview with Angelyne.
- "LA Times."
That's the big leagues.
- Make him give you a list
of the questions
so I can approve them first.
- I don't think
he's gonna do that.
- Hi,
I'm producing a movie,
and the director is a big fan
of yours
and has specifically requested
to see you audition
for the part.
Uh, call me back for details.
213-109-0248.
Ciao for now.
I look forward to it.
Do you have
any acting experience?
- I've dipped a toe in.
- Yes, but can you act?
I've seen Wendy rehearsing.
It takes a lot of work.
- I've lived to be Angelyne
this long.
- Hello, yes.
Uh, my name is Harold Wallach.
I am returning a call regarding
Angelyne.
♪ ♪
Yes, that Angelyne.
- Marketing drives
the industry,
and I had a built-in fan base.
Nowadays, it's all about
how many Instagram followers
you have,
all of which is nonsense,
but I started all that.
With my billboards
all over Hollywood,
movie studios were begging
for me.
Okay.
- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- And I'm Samantha?
- Yep.
- Okay.
- I'm busy, Samantha.
Not right now.
That was your cue.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
I'm sorry.
Hold on.
Oh, right. Sorry.
Okay, okay.
If not now,
then when, Steve?
It's always work, work, work
for you.
- Uh, okay.
Do it softer
and, um, sexier.
- If not now,
then when, Steve?
It's always work, work, work
for you.
- Yeah, good.
Really good, okay.
Um, let's try it again,
so let's sit down for this one.
Come on.
Okay, um,
so it needs to sound feminine,
but still
with some aggression, okay?
Try it.
- Oh.
- I'm busy, Samantha.
- Okay.
- Not right now.
- Just.
If not now, then...
- Whoa. No, no, no.
What are you doing?
- Why are you laughing?
- Angelyne,
I'm asking you to tease.
That's not hard.
And you said yourself
you've been teasing men
from a young age, right?
- All right...
- So tease me.
- Mm.
- I was
completely disrespected.
- I am so, so sorry.
I should've done more vetting.
It's so unprofessional of them,
of me.
- I do not wanna be put
in a position
like that ever again.
And that "LA Times" guy?
He didn't ask any
of the questions
that I wanted him to ask.
- I know.
- He kept asking
where I was born, and my age,
and about my family,
and none of that matters.
- No, you're absolutely right.
Okay, you have qualities
that produce visions.
All right?
And these celebrity leeches...
they focus on tabloid gossip.
Now perhaps you have become
too accessible to people...
- I'm done acting.
- And that is my fault.
- I don't wanna be famous
for something that I do.
I wanna be famous for who I am.
- Right.
- I will only be Angelyne.
- Right.
And that is all you ever need
to be.
You don't have to be anything
or anyone
other than Angelyne ever again.
I promise you that.
♪ ♪
I believe in you.
♪ ♪
- Thank you, Daddykins.
- All right.
♪ ♪
Try and get some sleep.
♪ ♪
My father was officially living
on another planet,
while I was in dire need of him
on this one.
But Dad, this is truly, totally
what I wanna do with my life.
If you don't believe in me,
well,
I don't know what I'll do.
- I do believe in you, honey.
- Yeah?
- I truly, totally do.
Cut and reset.
- Shoot, sorry,
did I step on your line?
- No, no, no, no.
You're fine.
- Good.
Whew.
Thanks.
I'm gonna miss this.
Wendy, you're a sweetheart.
Keep your chin up.
You'll do great.
- Wait,
are you leaving the show?
- They haven't told you.
Goddamn sons of bitches.
- Told me what?
- Back to one.
Back to one.
Last looks, please.
- What, Mike?
- We're canceled, kid.
- Sound speed!
From the top.
- What?
- Background.
Action!
- I want the best for you,
but the music business is
brutal and unforgiving.
It's okay
to give up on your dreams.
No one'll judge.
♪ ♪
- But Dad, this is truly,
totally what I want to do
with my life.
If you don't believe in me,
I don't know what I'll do.
- Wendy, I know you're worried
about the camera,
but there's, uh...
there's no MSG.
Mm.
- Did you know
my show got canceled?
- Hm?
- Last week.
Kept waiting for you to ask.
- Oh, my God, I am so sorry,
Wendy.
You know,
that... that really gripes me.
I never saw any advertising.
You want viewers,
you have to advertise.
Maybe I can put up
some billboards.
- No, Dad.
It's done.
You can't fix it.
- Have you ever heard
of the word "penopotist"?
- That's not a word.
- It means that you can take...
any impossible situation,
turn it around.
You make it possible.
Just focus on the positive.
That's how Angelyne lives.
I gotta say,
the results are stunning.
- I don't want to hear
another word
about bloody Angelyne.
- That's very negative, honey.
- Oh, well.
- Very negative.
Listen, she's not
a penopotist...
for sure.
- Why do you spend so much time
with her?
- We work together.
She needs me.
- We need you.
Mom needs you.
Do you want a divorce?
- I think you're overreacting.
- Dad, she doesn't even have
any talent.
- That's her talent.
- But I have real talent!
- Exactly.
That's why you don't need me
the way that she does.
But if you do, my God,
I am here for you always.
I just told you I'd put up
a billboard for you.
- That's not the point.
♪ ♪
I, um...
♪ ♪
Please eat something.
Please, Wendy.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- The world is a cruel place,
and we're all just trying
to get by,
whatever way we know best.
And once you figure
out what works,
you just keep moving
on forward...
♪ ♪
No matter the roadblocks
that stand in your way.
- It was 1984, I think.
- Next.
- I was auditioning full-time
then, you know,
usually for guest spots,
three-episode arcs.
And I saw the Corvette.
♪ ♪
- Thank you so much.
♪ ♪
Angelyne!
♪ ♪
It was primal.
I must key her car.
I have no choice.
I'm Harold Wallach's daughter.
You probably don't remember me,
but I thought
I should reintroduce myself,
seeing as that you're such
a big part of my family's life.
- Hi.
Harold has told me so much
about you.
- Oh, I'm sure.
Yeah.
- I love your hair.
It's so pretty.
- I didn't want a compliment
from her.
I was here to unleash rage.
- Are you here for an audition?
Harold told me
you're auditioning again.
- Yeah, but that's...
- What were you auditioning
for?
- To play a dead hooker.
It was for a guest spot
on "The A-Team."
- I don't know, I swear
she said it was a dead hooker.
Why would I lie?
- They wouldn't hold auditions
for a...
Dead hooker.
So scandalous.
- That's not what I said.
What... what are you even doing
here?
- Oh, I'm in a movie.
Yeah, look,
that's my trailer right there.
Hm.
It's fit for a queen, right?
- You... you don't act.
- I know.
I'm playing myself.
Yeah,
I didn't even have to audition.
Just gave them a list
of my demands and... ooh...
they met every single one,
so here I am.
- Are you sleeping
with my father?
- No, I'm not.
- I believed her.
Yeah,
her relationship with my father
was never sexual.
It was emotional...
Which was worse.
What are you even doing
with him?
He's not a manager.
He's a printer.
- It has nothing to do
with you.
- He's my dad, not yours.
♪ ♪
- Now you've crossed a line.
- Are you kidding?
You... no, you crossed the line
way before I ever came close
to the line.
- You're just upset
because your little show
got canceled.
- She knew exactly
how to hurt me most.
Stop calling my house.
It upsets my mother.
- I love your mother.
- You don't even know
my mother, Angelyne!
She hates you!
Just go get your own family
and stay the hell outta mine!
- Wendy, how are you?
♪ ♪
- I think she was jealous
of everything.
Really, my fame, my success.
She tried acting,
but it didn't work out.
Meanwhile, her father invested
millions of dollars in me,
and it paid off.
Wouldn't you be jealous?
♪ ♪
- ♪ Music in the icebox ♪
♪ Laughter in the dark ♪
♪ Echoes in the silence ♪
♪ Waiting for the spark ♪
♪ Hold me while I'm naked ♪
♪ Catch me if you can ♪
♪ Suicide statements ♪
♪ Are the measure of the man ♪
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
- Here she is.
30 minutes late
and right on time.
Angelyne, meet Lou and Sheldon.
- Lou and Sheldon, mm.
Such strong names.
Nice to meet you, Angelyne.
- So boys, what is this about?
Harold tells me you're a fan
of Angelyne.
Me too.
- Well,
as I was just telling Harold,
uh, your billboard
at Sunset and Vine
is in a prime location
for one of our clients.
- Hm, who's the client?
- We'd like to take over
the lease contract,
and we're willing to throw in
a couple thousand extra
to sweeten the deal.
It's a very generous offer.
- Well...
gentlemen, this is not
my decision to make.
Please talk to my partner.
Um...
no offense, but this might be
above your head.
- Mm, I... I just... I don't see
anything up there.
Listen, Sheldon,
it's not a generous offer.
It's a joke.
You really think
that I would let go
of Sunset and Vine
for a couple thousand dollars?
If you want that space,
you give me
ten of your billboards,
including the one
on Lankershim and Vineland.
Remember?
I wanted that one.
- We'll give you four,
but not Lankershim.
- Eight, and Lankershim is
nonnegotiable.
- Six.
With Lankershim.
- No soup.
What's "No soup"?
- It's from her favorite movie.
- It means
you do not have a deal.
You know my demands,
and if you can't meet them,
then I don't see any reason
to continue this conversation.
Oh, wait.
This is Harold's office, so...
I guess you two should leave.
- Fine.
Eight.
- I'm back up at ten now.
You two have been
so very disrespectful.
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
- Ooh!
- ♪ Do you dream in color? ♪
- I think it was 2001.
Right, 'cause I was pregnant
with my first kid.
And I hadn't seen Angelyne
since before I left
for college.
And then I saw the Corvette.
All of that rage just came
rushing back.
♪ ♪
Ugh, there was just
no escaping her.
Angelyne?
Wendy.
Harold's daughter.
- Oh, hi.
Course I remember you.
♪ ♪
How far along are you?
- Six months.
- Is it a boy, a girl?
Do you have a name yet?
- It's a boy, and, uh,
no name just yet.
Any suggestions?
- It's something
for the baby to choose.
- Hmm.
- How is my darling Harold
doing?
- He, um, had a stroke
last month.
♪ ♪
- Oh.
Oh, no.
I wish I'd known.
Is he okay?
- We think so.
It wasn't too severe.
He's, uh...
he's getting up there.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
I... I have no choice to be.
Baby.
- Hmm.
♪ ♪
Have you seen my new magazine?
- I have, actually.
I bought a copy
a couple months ago.
- You did?
- Oh, I can't believe
I just admitted that to you.
- Don't be silly.
I have a lot of stalkers.
- No, I'm not a stalker.
- Well...
Here's the new one.
- Okay.
- It's $50, but I'll give it
to you for $20.
It's an ultra-phenomenal
discount
for an ultra-phenomenal person.
- Thank you.
A real conversation
with Angelyne.
Took me a long time
and a lot of hard work
to realize she never really
was a threat to me
or my career.
The funny thing is,
she ended up being
a big part
of my healing process.
Please don't do this
to Mom.
I wrote, directed, and starred
in a one-woman show
about my experience
growing up in the shadow
of the Angelyne billboards,
called "Los Angelyne."
It was cathartic.
I just decided
I had to be done
being mad at her and my father.
I just had to.
It was exhausting.
I mean, they were never
really trying to hurt anyone.
Did she make his dreams
come true?
No.
He'll never become famous.
He'll only be a footnote
in the story of Angelyne,
which is itself a footnote
in the story of Los Angeles.
But... she did take him
on a great ride.
- I'd slow...
slow down a touch.
- Harold.
I'm a rebel, darling.
You can't tell me
what to do.
Well, if this is how I go,
then I... I couldn't be happier.
What about a wall?
Yeah, a wall.
Nobody has ever done that
before.
The Hollywood Plaza
has a wall,
and it's boring and blank.
- I'll look into it.
I've been thinking...
- About making a movie
of my life?
Me too.
- Yes, sure.
I like that.
I like it, but what
about an Angelyne doll?
That is naughty.
Can it be life-size?
- Of course,
and photorealistic.
- I love it.
I love it.
You know
what I've been thinking?
- Hmm?
What's that?
- Buckle up.
- I'm buckled.
Jesus Christ.
No, no, no, no!
Don't!
God!
- Open your eyes.
- ♪ How are you? ♪
♪ Have you been all right ♪
♪ Through all those
lonely, lonely ♪
♪ Lonely, lonely nights? ♪
♪ That's what I'd say ♪
♪ I'd tell you everything ♪
♪ If you'd pick up
that telephone ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ ♪
♪ How you feeling? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Are you still the same? ♪
♪ Don't you realize ♪
♪ The things we did, we did ♪
♪ Were all for real
not a dream? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I just can't believe ♪
♪ They've all faded
out of view ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Doo-wop do-be-do-do-wop ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ Blue days black nights ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ I look into the sky ♪
- ♪ The love you need
ain't gonna see you through ♪
- Harold was different
than Cory.
Harold was...
different than all
the other men in my life.
- Did the rumors bother you?
- Oh, God, no.
Mm-mm.
People can think
what they want
as long as they're thinking
of me.
Ooh!
When I was a kid,
I used to see your billboards
and think, "Who is
that beautiful woman,
and what's her story?"
Now, finally, many years later,
I get to ask.
- Who is Angelyne?
I'm something
you have to feel,
something you have
to experience.
If you really wanna know,
you have to come with me.
- ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living in twilight ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Okay ♪
♪ So no one's answering ♪
♪ Can't you just let it ring ♪
♪ A little longer, longer,
longer? ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ I'll just sit tight ♪
♪ Through shadows
of the night ♪
♪ Let it ring forevermore ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Doo-wop, do-be-do-do-wop ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ Blue days, black nights ♪
♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪
♪ I look into the sky ♪
♪ The love you need
ain't gonna see you through ♪
♪ And I wonder why ♪
♪ The little things you
planned ain't coming true ♪
♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living in twilight ♪
♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living in twilight ♪
♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪
♪ Give me some time ♪
♪ I'm living... ♪