Angel (1999–2004): Season 5, Episode 15 - A Hole in the World - full transcript
When an ancient sarcophagus arrives in the laboratory at Wolfram & Hart, Fred opens a small compartment and is infected by an ancient disease that slowly begins to kill her. As Angel and Spike travel across the world in order to help her, Wesley slowly begins to realize that there may be no stopping this disease.
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MAN:
I don't see why it has to be this way.
There are plenty of good schools
in the area.
FRED: And I have a nice room,
and I could meet a nice boy.
We could get married
and live in my room...
He'd have to be a smallish fella.
And have sweet little babies.
I do not see a downside to this plan.
I love you like pancakes,
but I'm getting the hell out.
- Language.
- She should say it.
That's where she's going.
- "Hell A."
- It's Los Angeles.
The City of Angels, remember?
And if you meet one angel there,
I'll eat the dogs.
Junkies and spoiled actors,
that's who you'll meet.
In the graduate physics program
at UCLA?
- You don't know...
- Why don't you...
...check the Chevy one more time.
- Chevy's fine.
I slept in a drawer till I was three.
Didn't stunt me none.
- Did you call Bethany? Is it...?
- Late as you like.
Says they'll leave you a key
in case they turn in.
I know I'm forgetting something.
Call us up,
we'll drive it up to you, move in.
- Mom.
- I'm just scaring you.
Don't worry. I'll call you lots.
I know you will.
Feigenbaum.
I can't make the trip
without Feigenbaum.
- He doesn't quite look up to it.
FRED: Hush.
He's the master of chaos.
He'll love L. A...
...all my junkie movie-actor friends.
- Don't you joke.
Now, you've gotta promise me
that you're gonna be careful.
I'm gonna study, Mom.
I'm gonna learn everything they know
and figure out some stuff they don't...
...and I'll be careful.
I'll even be dull, boring.
Cross my heart.
[SCREAMING]
[SCREECHING]
- I think we got the nest.
- The others are finishing the sweep.
Nasty little buggers.
Kind of cool, physiologically.
They reproduce by
vomiting up crystals...
...that attract and mutate microbes
around them to form eggs.
Are you trying to turn me on?
It is kind of romantic...
...a roaring fire, snug little nest...
SPIKE:
Fuss, fuss.
The thing was about to strike. It was on
your back. What was I supposed to do?
- Ask me to turn around.
- Heat of battle. Wasn't time.
You just like stabbing me.
I'm shocked that you'd say that. I much
prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.
We only asked you along
because we felt sorry for you.
Weren't for me, you'd be bug food.
So stop whinging.
- Angel?
- I'll be all right, Fred.
No, I just want the bug.
It's in pretty good shape,
and I'd like to take it back to the lab.
Always like a new specimen.
Whoa. Uh...
- What's this?
- Delivery.
Ancient relics is two floors down.
Invoice reads,
"Science department, Winifred Burkle."
- Do you need me to sign...?
DELIVERY MAN: Been signed.
KNOX:
Okay.
A Hole in the World
[SINGING
"THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL"]
[RAPPING]
- What's up?
- I should ask you.
You seem unutterably cheery.
I am. I am. Look...
...I gotta be straight with you,
because this is blowing my mind.
Tell me.
Fred and I are getting back together.
After last night's fight,
she asked me over.
We ended up talking for hours,
like old times...
I can't even keep this up, because
your face is gonna make me weep.
Wes, I am so messing with you.
l... Oh.
No, l...
Come on. Brother gets a dig in.
That's my right.
- So you know...
- It's all over the building.
No secrets in the house of pain.
Is that all right with you?
Fred and me?
Last year, you wouldn't have asked.
The man becomes civilized.
It's cool.
Our thing's long done,
and I know how you feel about her.
Thank you.
And to add the necessary boilerplate:
You hurt her, I'll kill you like a chicken.
- Acceptable terms.
- Now, on to the real fun.
Yes, you seemed like
something was up...
...before making a tasteless joke
at my expense.
Lindsey McDonald.
- Know where he is?
- Settle for "was"?
He can hide from the senior partners,
but not the DWP...
...and not from our many, many ears.
- He lived here.
- Under the name Doyle.
Way he was messing with Angel,
could be he had other schemes.
Senior partners took him out fast.
He didn't have time to pack.
Worth checking. Nice work.
You should tell Angel.
You can tell him.
I ain't going in there.
It's bollocks, Angel! Your brand
of bollocks, from first to last.
You can't ever see the big picture.
You can't see any picture.
I am talking about something primal,
right? Savagery.
Brutal, animal instinct.
That wins out every time with you.
The human race has evolved, Spike!
Into a bunch of namby-pamby,
self-analyzing wankers...
...who could never hope...
- There's a thing called teamwork.
Not to mention the superstitious terror
of your "aggressors"...
- You want it to be...
- It's not about what I want!
WESLEY:
Sorry.
Is this something
we should all be discussing?
No.
It just sounds a little serious.
It was mostly theoretical. We...
We were just working out a...
Look, if cavemen and astronauts
got into a fight, who would win?
Uh...
You've been yelling at each other
for 40 minutes about this.
- Do the astronauts have weapons?
- No.
KNOX:
I couldn't find any invoice on it.
- Thought you went crazy on eBay.
- No, no eBay.
After the commemorative-plate incident,
I'm living clean.
- Did you run a spectral analysis?
- Yeah.
Everything's bouncing off it,
which doesn't thrill me.
Yeah, let's not be hasty
about opening it.
It's probably just a mummy.
Mummies can be more trouble
than you'd think...
...and you're seeing Wesley now.
- Uh, oh, uh...
Okay. That's not connected
to mummies in some way...?
No. I just wanted to get it out there...
...and I'm totally good with it.
You know, I know I've made advances.
I'm sorry.
No, l... I didn't wanna
make you uncomfortable.
I love working with you,
and that's plenty for me.
You're sweet.
Want me to get our HAZMATs?
Yeah, and see about
where it came from.
[COUGHING]
What happened?
I don't know. It opened. There was air.
Are you okay?
I think so.
That was odd.
SPIKE: Harmony just got me out of
a very promising poker game...
...in accounts receivable,
so this better be good.
By the way,
all the guys down there agree...
...astronauts don't stand a chance
against cavemen, so don't even start.
Look, I can't do this anymore.
Admitting defeat, are you?
You and me. This isn't working out.
You saying we should
start annoying other people?
I'm saying you should go.
- You really can't stand the competition.
- That isn't the...
I figure Lindsey brought you back
as a spirit bound to this place...
...so you'd become invested in it.
He only made you corporeal again once
you'd gotten used to it, attached to it.
I'm not attached.
Just don't have anywhere else to go.
What if you did?
Wolfram & Hart has offices in every
major city in the world, more out of it.
I'll give you resources to go anywhere.
Cars, gadgets, expense account.
You fight the good fight, but in style...
...and, if possible, in Outer Mongolia.
A roving agent.
Sort of a 007 without the poncy tux.
Go anywhere I want?
Anywhere. Everywhere.
Hmm. Anywhere but here.
FRED: But that doesn't make any sense.
- I call it like I see it.
The cavemen have fire.
That's what they live with in caves.
The astronauts should at least have
some sort of weapon. Hey, there.
I was just thinking of an excuse
to come and see you.
And how is that working out?
Really great. Where you coming from?
Medical. I breathed some mummy dust.
Had to be sure I didn't
discover any new germs.
- You all right?
- They shooed me right off.
- Mummy-free.
- Good.
I was hoping to take you out tomorrow
not wrapped in bandages.
Take me out where?
- Can it be a secret?
- Oh. Get a balcony, you two.
FRED:
You'll still find me for lunch, right?
I'll just look where the sun shines.
[SINGING "YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE"]
[SINGS]
WESLEY:
Get medical.
Someone get medical now!
Hmm. It's my boys.
Haven't had this many big,
strapping men at my bedside...
...since that night
with the varsity lacrosse team.
[CHUCKLES]
That was a joke.
- You sure gave us a big scare, Freddles.
- You just need to rest.
Lab's doing some blood work.
I'm a mummy, aren't I?
I've fought plenty of mummies,
and none of them were as pretty as you.
Almost none.
Now y'all are being too comforting.
- What's really up?
GUNN: You're sick...
...and worrying will make it worse.
We've got that sarcophagus
under the scope.
If it gave you anything,
we'll isolate it soon.
So you don't know what it is?
Yet.
Okay.
We're gonna work this.
Shouldn't take long.
Handsome man saves me.
That's how it works.
Let's get cracking.
"Get cracking."
He's such an old fogey.
I know you've gotta go be book man.
Yes.
Just hit that line,
I'll be here in a heartbeat.
Assuming I still have one.
Hush.
- Wes and Fred?
- You didn't know?
I didn't know.
- How's she handling it?
- She's smarter than us.
- She knows it's bad.
GUNN: How bad? What do we know?
It doesn't match
any of the pathogens in our archives.
- It's mystical, and it's not ours.
ANGEL: And the sarcophagus?
WESLEY: We're crosschecking
the symbols, but it's new territory.
What is happening to her?
You talked to the doctor...
WESLEY: They have something?
- Yeah.
Some parasitic agent
is working its way through...
- I mean, as near as they can tell...
- Get to the point.
Her organs are cooking.
In a day's time, they'll liquefy.
No. Not this girl. Not this day.
ANGEL: Tell me what was in that box.
A name, a history, anything.
- We can't get it open.
WESLEY: Where did it come from?
It just showed up. Didn't recognize
the guy who brought it in...
...in the middle of the night.
ANGEL: This was deliberate.
- Senior partners?
- Doesn't add up.
But I'll hit the white room,
talk to the conduit.
If the senior partners didn't do this,
get them to help us.
GUNN: Any way I can.
SPIKE: What about Doyle? Lindsey?
Man likes to play his games.
I'll work the streets,
and we've got his address.
He's probably sitting there, laughing.
- lf there's muscle work to do...?
- Let's make it twice as fast.
Baby makes three,
in case they feel like singing.
- Guys...
- You don't have to say it.
I'll say it anyway.
Winifred Burkle. Go.
[WHIMPERING]
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Is the Holbein Clan history here?
It was supposed to be faxed to me.
- It can wait.
- These guys are really important. I just...
The whole company
can't be working Ms. Burkle's case.
Of course.
[SCREAMING]
Jennifer, please send anyone else who
isn't working Ms. Burkle's case to me.
GUNN:
Hello...?
Here, kitty, kitty?
Look, I know there's someone in here,
and it ain't just me.
I'm not going anywhere till...
Well, what do you know. It is just me.
You don't wanna be here.
I never wanna be here.
What happened to the cat?
The physical form of the conduit
is determined by the viewer.
So I'm looking at me because, what,
we're gonna play a mirror game?
Get our mime on?
- You are failing.
- I'm not the issue here.
I believe that you think that.
You can't let this happen to Fred.
This is the part
where I need to be clear.
I am not your friend.
I am not your flunky.
I am your conduit to the senior partners,
and they are tired of your insolence.
Yeah, they are not here
for your convenience.
I didn't come for a favor.
We can make a deal.
Deals are for the devil.
You want someone else?
A life for hers? You'll get it.
You can have mine.
I already do.
ANGEL: No sign of Lindsey.
Look for plans.
Well, I'll be damned all over again.
Don't touch me.
Hiding from the senior partners, Eve?
How many sick days do you get
before they dock you?
- What do you want?
- Fred's dying. Some mystical parasite.
Ring a bell?
- I don't know.
- What about your boyfriend, love?
He got some wacky scheme brewing?
Sending coffins about?
- You two stay away from me.
- Look, this happens quickly...
...or very, very slowly.
- Sarcophagus.
Older than anything we know.
Lindsey and I had nothing to do
with that. I'm not lying. I'm not.
Have you heard from him?
About him?
This is truly poetical.
You're not saying
what we need to hear.
Why would we do anything to Fred?
Why even care about her...?
Oh, I'm sorry.
That was a knuckle-buster.
I'm Jake LaMotta over here.
It's pathetic.
Here's the thing, Eve.
You're going to sing for me...
...and I'm going to read you right now.
And one more thing.
Winifred Burkle once said,
after a sinful amount of Chinese food...
...in lieu of absolutely nothing, "Lots
of people would choose to be green.
Your shade, if they had the choice."
If I hear one note, one quarter note
that tells me you had any involvement...
...these two won't even have time
to kill you.
And anything by Diane Warren
will also result in your death.
Well, except "Rhythm of the Night."
I wanna help, I swear.
I've got nothing against Fred.
Say it with a song in your heart.
[SINGING]
- She's clean.
- You've been wrong before.
Yeah, and I might be now,
but she reads clean.
- Her future's not too bright, but...
- What do you mean?
Well, nothing's written
in stone, lately...
...but if I was about
to face your future...
...I'd make like Carmen Miranda
and die.
Wait. Please.
You gonna tell the senior partners
where I am?
- Hell of a bargaining chip.
- They can't help you.
A sarcophagus that doesn't match
anything in our records...?
There's nothing that's not in our records.
Except what came before.
- The Old Ones.
- The original demons, before humankind.
- They were driven out of this dimension.
EVE: The ones that were still alive.
But long before that,
they killed each other all the time.
And they don't die the way we do.
Wes may not know it, but his
source books can conjure up anything...
...not just our own stock.
Tell him to look for the texts
that are forgotten.
The oldest scrolls.
You need to find the Deeper Well.
WESLEY:
It's called Illyria...
...a great monarch and warrior
of the demon age.
Murdered by rivals
and left adrift in the Deeper Well.
ANGEL: Which is what?
- A burial ground...
...a resting place
of all the remaining Old Ones.
- This one ain't resting.
- No.
I don't think this is merely an infection.
Fred's skin is hardening like a shell.
I think she's being hollowed out
so this thing can use her to gestate.
To claw its way back into the world.
That's speculation.
Either way, she dies.
- Any chance of finding this Deeper Well?
- I already have.
It's in England, in the Cotswolds.
That's the location.
Tell Harmony to prep the jet.
We can be there in 10 hours.
You can be there in four.
We have really good jets.
It will have a guardian, maybe several.
- Let them send an army.
- How do we know this'll do squat?
It's like prison for the dead.
If something gets out...
...it can be drawn back
from the source.
- That's our shot.
- Yes, I think it is.
If nobody thinks it's too ridiculous,
I'm going to pray.
No, it's appreciated.
Time is not on our side.
Nobody's on our side.
ANGEL:
Come on.
Let's save the day.
Fred, you can't be doing this.
Please, Wesley,
I am exactly the person to be doing this.
Something could have been missed.
Whatever is happening,
we'll stop it, I swear to you.
- I have to work.
- You have to lie down.
I am not the damsel in distress.
I am not some case.
I have to work this.
I lived in a cave for five years in a world
where they killed my kind like cattle.
I am not gonna be cut down
by some monster flu.
I am better than that.
I wonder...
How very scared I am.
I swear on my life we will stop this,
but you must be back in bed.
- That's where I need you to fight.
- Like I'm 6 years old?
This is a house of death.
That can call up any book you need?
Every one.
Then bring it.
Take me home.
I've never flown before.
I've been in a helicopter.
They don't go this high.
Back to the mother country.
After we save Fred, we should
hit the West End. Take in a show.
- I've never seen Les Mis.
- Trust me.
Halfway through the first act,
you'll be drinking humans again.
I can't lose her, Spike.
You won't.
I lost Cordy.
You're not hearing me. I know you've
got healers working for you.
I don't care if the Old Ones scare them
or if they kill them.
Get them down here,
or you'll be in a world of hurt.
No, I'm not talking about a lawsuit,
I'm talking about crunching bones.
And if you think...
[PHONE CLICKS]
We freeze her.
Take her down to cryogenics.
If we can't stop this thing,
maybe we can just...
...freeze it in its tracks...
...till we can come up with something.
- You sure you can do that?
Let's test it out.
I finally get you up to my bedroom,
and all you wanna do is read.
You dozed off.
Was I making too much noise?
Not enough.
I need noise to keep me here.
Is it today?
I mean...
You only slept for an hour.
That's an hour I don't got now.
Angel and Spike are on their way
to finding your cure...
...and I shouldn't like to be the thing
standing in their way.
And book man?
Book man came through.
I think I gave them what they need.
Feigenbaum!
- What?
- I have to find him.
He's the master of...
I have to have Feigenbaum here.
Who is Feigenbaum?
I don't remember.
Shh...
[SOBBING]
Isn't it terrible?
At a time like this,
I'm worried about how crappy I look.
You're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
Do you always like splotchy girls?
It's my curse.
Read to me.
The Dread Host's Compendium
of Immortal Leeches?
Can that be any book in the world?
Name one.
"She was such a little girl,
one did not expect...
...such a look on her small face.
It would have been an old look
for a child of 12...
...and Sara Crewe was only 7.
The fact was, however, she was always
dreaming and thinking odd things...
...and could not remember any time
when she had not been thinking...
...things about grown-up people
and the world they belonged to.
She felt as if she had lived a long,
long time."
SPIKE: When is a door not a door?
When it's not sodding well there.
Right there.
Wanna bet that's the entrance
to the Deeper Well?
Either that or Christmas Land.
Do you ever have any fun?
[GROWLING]
- About to.
- They even brought us weapons.
- Strategy?
- Just hold my hand.
- St. Petersburg.
- Thought you'd forgotten.
- Damn it.
- No. Don't say "damn it."
You got me all up in this
Walt Disney mojo...
They're impervious to the cold.
The blood tissue freezes...
...but they just keep working away
like it's a sunny day in L.A.
I'm sorry.
- So that's a bust. What else you got?
- I don't...
God, I can't think, I'm so nervous.
Look, I'd never tell her this...
...but I care about Fred more than...
She's like no one I've met, you know?
I do.
Nothing would make me happier
than to be the white knight here...
...and have her look at me
the way that...
I mean, I don't just care about Fred...
...I practically worship it.
You said "it."
- What?
- Not "her." You said, "I worship it."
Oops.
That all? We haven't even started!
DROG YN:
Well, I'd say that's enough.
Drogyn.
DROG YN:
Angel.
You're the Keeper of the Well.
Have been for decades.
- Well, who in the bloody...?
- Do not ask me a question.
If you ever ask me a question,
I will kill you outright.
Don't think for a moment that I can't.
- He can. He would.
- Eh?
- You're here about Illyria.
- Yes.
- Walk in.
- But how...?
Didn't I just say to you,
not one moment ago, don't...
...ask?
Seriously. He doesn't like questions.
Why the bloody hell not?
He can't lie.
You did this. You did all of this!
Technically, that's not the case.
I just played my part.
You couldn't stand Wes winning her,
so you kill her?
No, I meant everything I said about her.
I chose Fred because I love her.
Because she's worthy.
You think I'd have my god
hatched out of some schmuck?
What do you...?
This was all set in motion
millions of years ago, Charles.
There's just no way to stop it.
Angel and Spike...
They're really on track,
but it doesn't matter.
Angel's not gonna save her.
- You don't know Angel.
- I'm not being clear.
I don't mean that Angel's
gonna fail to save her.
I mean he's gonna let her die.
Would you read to me some more?
Of course.
The light hurts my eyes...
...but I don't want you to turn it off.
But it hurts my eyes.
Everything's so bright and hollow.
The cavemen win.
Of course the cavemen win.
- Never thought you'd end up here.
- I could say the same.
SPIKE: So you two know each other.
That was a statement. I know you do.
I'll tell you as much as I can.
The Old Ones were demons, pure.
They warred as we would breathe,
endlessly.
The greater ones were interred.
Death wasn't always their end.
Illyria was feared and beloved
as few are.
It was lain to rest
in the very depths of the Well...
...until it disappeared a month ago.
SPIKE:
And you didn't miss it till now.
Makes you quite the crap jailer,
doesn't it?
Also a statement.
- Your friend likes to talk.
- So much, he's even right sometimes.
The man I remember
couldn't be stolen from so easily.
The tomb was not stolen.
It disappeared.
I believe it was predestined to,
as part of Illyria's escape plan.
And as for my not noticing...
...well, my charges are not few.
SPIKE:
Bloody hell.
How far does this go down?
DROG YN:
All the way.
All the way through the Earth.
So the coffin disappeared.
Teleported...
But it was brought to us.
Illyria was a great power.
So great that,
after millions of years dead...
...somewhere on this earth,
it still has acolytes.
There's only a few of us now.
I came to L.A. because I knew
that's where its kingdom had been.
It was to teleport back
to the base of its power...
...but the continents drifted,
which they do.
I had others help me get it here,
but then it got stuck in customs...
...but you took care of that.
You signed the order to bring it into the
lab so you could get another brain boost.
It's like I said.
I'm just one small part
of a great machine.
Angel's gonna save her.
What he's fighting against
is older than the concept of time.
I couldn't stop it.
There's nothing left to do now but wait.
Wait and try and figure out
exactly what you want to tell your...
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, God, I've sinned!
I've sinned, and I'm being punished.
I don't know what's wrong.
I never got a B-minus before.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Make it stop.
It's been freed,
the demon's essence?
Yeah, it's been freed.
Why do you think we're here?
And what's your favorite color?
Manchester United's goalkeeper?
How many fingers?
You wanna kill me, try.
I don't have time for your quirks.
The power to draw back Illyria
lies in there.
It requires a champion who's traveled
from where it lies to where it belongs.
- You got two of those right here.
- But I didn't know it was free.
Bringing the sarcophagus back
will draw Illyria out of your friend...
...and into every single person
between here and there.
It will become the mystical equivalent
of airborne.
It will claw into every soul in its path
to keep from being trapped entire.
Tens, maybe hundreds, of thousands
will die in agony...
...if you save her.
No.
That's madness.
DROG YN:
This is a place of madness.
I'll prepare the spell.
Your choice.
Hell with the world.
[FRED GASPING]
Why did we go there?
Why did we think we could beat it?
It's evil, Wesley.
It's bigger than anything.
I don't believe that.
I'm with him!
He won't leave me now.
We're so close.
I will never leave you.
That was bad...
...but it's better now.
You won't leave me?
I won't.
My boys.
I walk with heroes. Think about that.
You are one.
Superhero...
...and this is my power.
To not let them take me.
Not me.
That's right.
That's right.
He's with me.
Spike.
This goes all the way through...
...to the other side.
So I figure...
...there's a bloke
somewhere around New Zealand...
...standing on a bridge like this one...
...Iooking back down at us.
All the way down.
There's a hole in the world.
Feels like we ought to have known.
Will you kiss me?
Would you have loved me?
I've loved you since I've known you.
No, that's not...
I think maybe even before.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no.
I need you to talk to my parents.
They have to know I wasn't scared,
that it was quick...
...that I wasn't scared.
- Oh, God.
- You have to fight.
Don't have to talk.
Concentrate on fighting.
Just hold on.
I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
I'm not scared.
Please, Wesley...
...why can't I stay?
Please.
Please.
This will do.
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
[ENGLISH SDH]
---
MAN:
I don't see why it has to be this way.
There are plenty of good schools
in the area.
FRED: And I have a nice room,
and I could meet a nice boy.
We could get married
and live in my room...
He'd have to be a smallish fella.
And have sweet little babies.
I do not see a downside to this plan.
I love you like pancakes,
but I'm getting the hell out.
- Language.
- She should say it.
That's where she's going.
- "Hell A."
- It's Los Angeles.
The City of Angels, remember?
And if you meet one angel there,
I'll eat the dogs.
Junkies and spoiled actors,
that's who you'll meet.
In the graduate physics program
at UCLA?
- You don't know...
- Why don't you...
...check the Chevy one more time.
- Chevy's fine.
I slept in a drawer till I was three.
Didn't stunt me none.
- Did you call Bethany? Is it...?
- Late as you like.
Says they'll leave you a key
in case they turn in.
I know I'm forgetting something.
Call us up,
we'll drive it up to you, move in.
- Mom.
- I'm just scaring you.
Don't worry. I'll call you lots.
I know you will.
Feigenbaum.
I can't make the trip
without Feigenbaum.
- He doesn't quite look up to it.
FRED: Hush.
He's the master of chaos.
He'll love L. A...
...all my junkie movie-actor friends.
- Don't you joke.
Now, you've gotta promise me
that you're gonna be careful.
I'm gonna study, Mom.
I'm gonna learn everything they know
and figure out some stuff they don't...
...and I'll be careful.
I'll even be dull, boring.
Cross my heart.
[SCREAMING]
[SCREECHING]
- I think we got the nest.
- The others are finishing the sweep.
Nasty little buggers.
Kind of cool, physiologically.
They reproduce by
vomiting up crystals...
...that attract and mutate microbes
around them to form eggs.
Are you trying to turn me on?
It is kind of romantic...
...a roaring fire, snug little nest...
SPIKE:
Fuss, fuss.
The thing was about to strike. It was on
your back. What was I supposed to do?
- Ask me to turn around.
- Heat of battle. Wasn't time.
You just like stabbing me.
I'm shocked that you'd say that. I much
prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.
We only asked you along
because we felt sorry for you.
Weren't for me, you'd be bug food.
So stop whinging.
- Angel?
- I'll be all right, Fred.
No, I just want the bug.
It's in pretty good shape,
and I'd like to take it back to the lab.
Always like a new specimen.
Whoa. Uh...
- What's this?
- Delivery.
Ancient relics is two floors down.
Invoice reads,
"Science department, Winifred Burkle."
- Do you need me to sign...?
DELIVERY MAN: Been signed.
KNOX:
Okay.
A Hole in the World
[SINGING
"THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL"]
[RAPPING]
- What's up?
- I should ask you.
You seem unutterably cheery.
I am. I am. Look...
...I gotta be straight with you,
because this is blowing my mind.
Tell me.
Fred and I are getting back together.
After last night's fight,
she asked me over.
We ended up talking for hours,
like old times...
I can't even keep this up, because
your face is gonna make me weep.
Wes, I am so messing with you.
l... Oh.
No, l...
Come on. Brother gets a dig in.
That's my right.
- So you know...
- It's all over the building.
No secrets in the house of pain.
Is that all right with you?
Fred and me?
Last year, you wouldn't have asked.
The man becomes civilized.
It's cool.
Our thing's long done,
and I know how you feel about her.
Thank you.
And to add the necessary boilerplate:
You hurt her, I'll kill you like a chicken.
- Acceptable terms.
- Now, on to the real fun.
Yes, you seemed like
something was up...
...before making a tasteless joke
at my expense.
Lindsey McDonald.
- Know where he is?
- Settle for "was"?
He can hide from the senior partners,
but not the DWP...
...and not from our many, many ears.
- He lived here.
- Under the name Doyle.
Way he was messing with Angel,
could be he had other schemes.
Senior partners took him out fast.
He didn't have time to pack.
Worth checking. Nice work.
You should tell Angel.
You can tell him.
I ain't going in there.
It's bollocks, Angel! Your brand
of bollocks, from first to last.
You can't ever see the big picture.
You can't see any picture.
I am talking about something primal,
right? Savagery.
Brutal, animal instinct.
That wins out every time with you.
The human race has evolved, Spike!
Into a bunch of namby-pamby,
self-analyzing wankers...
...who could never hope...
- There's a thing called teamwork.
Not to mention the superstitious terror
of your "aggressors"...
- You want it to be...
- It's not about what I want!
WESLEY:
Sorry.
Is this something
we should all be discussing?
No.
It just sounds a little serious.
It was mostly theoretical. We...
We were just working out a...
Look, if cavemen and astronauts
got into a fight, who would win?
Uh...
You've been yelling at each other
for 40 minutes about this.
- Do the astronauts have weapons?
- No.
KNOX:
I couldn't find any invoice on it.
- Thought you went crazy on eBay.
- No, no eBay.
After the commemorative-plate incident,
I'm living clean.
- Did you run a spectral analysis?
- Yeah.
Everything's bouncing off it,
which doesn't thrill me.
Yeah, let's not be hasty
about opening it.
It's probably just a mummy.
Mummies can be more trouble
than you'd think...
...and you're seeing Wesley now.
- Uh, oh, uh...
Okay. That's not connected
to mummies in some way...?
No. I just wanted to get it out there...
...and I'm totally good with it.
You know, I know I've made advances.
I'm sorry.
No, l... I didn't wanna
make you uncomfortable.
I love working with you,
and that's plenty for me.
You're sweet.
Want me to get our HAZMATs?
Yeah, and see about
where it came from.
[COUGHING]
What happened?
I don't know. It opened. There was air.
Are you okay?
I think so.
That was odd.
SPIKE: Harmony just got me out of
a very promising poker game...
...in accounts receivable,
so this better be good.
By the way,
all the guys down there agree...
...astronauts don't stand a chance
against cavemen, so don't even start.
Look, I can't do this anymore.
Admitting defeat, are you?
You and me. This isn't working out.
You saying we should
start annoying other people?
I'm saying you should go.
- You really can't stand the competition.
- That isn't the...
I figure Lindsey brought you back
as a spirit bound to this place...
...so you'd become invested in it.
He only made you corporeal again once
you'd gotten used to it, attached to it.
I'm not attached.
Just don't have anywhere else to go.
What if you did?
Wolfram & Hart has offices in every
major city in the world, more out of it.
I'll give you resources to go anywhere.
Cars, gadgets, expense account.
You fight the good fight, but in style...
...and, if possible, in Outer Mongolia.
A roving agent.
Sort of a 007 without the poncy tux.
Go anywhere I want?
Anywhere. Everywhere.
Hmm. Anywhere but here.
FRED: But that doesn't make any sense.
- I call it like I see it.
The cavemen have fire.
That's what they live with in caves.
The astronauts should at least have
some sort of weapon. Hey, there.
I was just thinking of an excuse
to come and see you.
And how is that working out?
Really great. Where you coming from?
Medical. I breathed some mummy dust.
Had to be sure I didn't
discover any new germs.
- You all right?
- They shooed me right off.
- Mummy-free.
- Good.
I was hoping to take you out tomorrow
not wrapped in bandages.
Take me out where?
- Can it be a secret?
- Oh. Get a balcony, you two.
FRED:
You'll still find me for lunch, right?
I'll just look where the sun shines.
[SINGING "YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE"]
[SINGS]
WESLEY:
Get medical.
Someone get medical now!
Hmm. It's my boys.
Haven't had this many big,
strapping men at my bedside...
...since that night
with the varsity lacrosse team.
[CHUCKLES]
That was a joke.
- You sure gave us a big scare, Freddles.
- You just need to rest.
Lab's doing some blood work.
I'm a mummy, aren't I?
I've fought plenty of mummies,
and none of them were as pretty as you.
Almost none.
Now y'all are being too comforting.
- What's really up?
GUNN: You're sick...
...and worrying will make it worse.
We've got that sarcophagus
under the scope.
If it gave you anything,
we'll isolate it soon.
So you don't know what it is?
Yet.
Okay.
We're gonna work this.
Shouldn't take long.
Handsome man saves me.
That's how it works.
Let's get cracking.
"Get cracking."
He's such an old fogey.
I know you've gotta go be book man.
Yes.
Just hit that line,
I'll be here in a heartbeat.
Assuming I still have one.
Hush.
- Wes and Fred?
- You didn't know?
I didn't know.
- How's she handling it?
- She's smarter than us.
- She knows it's bad.
GUNN: How bad? What do we know?
It doesn't match
any of the pathogens in our archives.
- It's mystical, and it's not ours.
ANGEL: And the sarcophagus?
WESLEY: We're crosschecking
the symbols, but it's new territory.
What is happening to her?
You talked to the doctor...
WESLEY: They have something?
- Yeah.
Some parasitic agent
is working its way through...
- I mean, as near as they can tell...
- Get to the point.
Her organs are cooking.
In a day's time, they'll liquefy.
No. Not this girl. Not this day.
ANGEL: Tell me what was in that box.
A name, a history, anything.
- We can't get it open.
WESLEY: Where did it come from?
It just showed up. Didn't recognize
the guy who brought it in...
...in the middle of the night.
ANGEL: This was deliberate.
- Senior partners?
- Doesn't add up.
But I'll hit the white room,
talk to the conduit.
If the senior partners didn't do this,
get them to help us.
GUNN: Any way I can.
SPIKE: What about Doyle? Lindsey?
Man likes to play his games.
I'll work the streets,
and we've got his address.
He's probably sitting there, laughing.
- lf there's muscle work to do...?
- Let's make it twice as fast.
Baby makes three,
in case they feel like singing.
- Guys...
- You don't have to say it.
I'll say it anyway.
Winifred Burkle. Go.
[WHIMPERING]
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Is the Holbein Clan history here?
It was supposed to be faxed to me.
- It can wait.
- These guys are really important. I just...
The whole company
can't be working Ms. Burkle's case.
Of course.
[SCREAMING]
Jennifer, please send anyone else who
isn't working Ms. Burkle's case to me.
GUNN:
Hello...?
Here, kitty, kitty?
Look, I know there's someone in here,
and it ain't just me.
I'm not going anywhere till...
Well, what do you know. It is just me.
You don't wanna be here.
I never wanna be here.
What happened to the cat?
The physical form of the conduit
is determined by the viewer.
So I'm looking at me because, what,
we're gonna play a mirror game?
Get our mime on?
- You are failing.
- I'm not the issue here.
I believe that you think that.
You can't let this happen to Fred.
This is the part
where I need to be clear.
I am not your friend.
I am not your flunky.
I am your conduit to the senior partners,
and they are tired of your insolence.
Yeah, they are not here
for your convenience.
I didn't come for a favor.
We can make a deal.
Deals are for the devil.
You want someone else?
A life for hers? You'll get it.
You can have mine.
I already do.
ANGEL: No sign of Lindsey.
Look for plans.
Well, I'll be damned all over again.
Don't touch me.
Hiding from the senior partners, Eve?
How many sick days do you get
before they dock you?
- What do you want?
- Fred's dying. Some mystical parasite.
Ring a bell?
- I don't know.
- What about your boyfriend, love?
He got some wacky scheme brewing?
Sending coffins about?
- You two stay away from me.
- Look, this happens quickly...
...or very, very slowly.
- Sarcophagus.
Older than anything we know.
Lindsey and I had nothing to do
with that. I'm not lying. I'm not.
Have you heard from him?
About him?
This is truly poetical.
You're not saying
what we need to hear.
Why would we do anything to Fred?
Why even care about her...?
Oh, I'm sorry.
That was a knuckle-buster.
I'm Jake LaMotta over here.
It's pathetic.
Here's the thing, Eve.
You're going to sing for me...
...and I'm going to read you right now.
And one more thing.
Winifred Burkle once said,
after a sinful amount of Chinese food...
...in lieu of absolutely nothing, "Lots
of people would choose to be green.
Your shade, if they had the choice."
If I hear one note, one quarter note
that tells me you had any involvement...
...these two won't even have time
to kill you.
And anything by Diane Warren
will also result in your death.
Well, except "Rhythm of the Night."
I wanna help, I swear.
I've got nothing against Fred.
Say it with a song in your heart.
[SINGING]
- She's clean.
- You've been wrong before.
Yeah, and I might be now,
but she reads clean.
- Her future's not too bright, but...
- What do you mean?
Well, nothing's written
in stone, lately...
...but if I was about
to face your future...
...I'd make like Carmen Miranda
and die.
Wait. Please.
You gonna tell the senior partners
where I am?
- Hell of a bargaining chip.
- They can't help you.
A sarcophagus that doesn't match
anything in our records...?
There's nothing that's not in our records.
Except what came before.
- The Old Ones.
- The original demons, before humankind.
- They were driven out of this dimension.
EVE: The ones that were still alive.
But long before that,
they killed each other all the time.
And they don't die the way we do.
Wes may not know it, but his
source books can conjure up anything...
...not just our own stock.
Tell him to look for the texts
that are forgotten.
The oldest scrolls.
You need to find the Deeper Well.
WESLEY:
It's called Illyria...
...a great monarch and warrior
of the demon age.
Murdered by rivals
and left adrift in the Deeper Well.
ANGEL: Which is what?
- A burial ground...
...a resting place
of all the remaining Old Ones.
- This one ain't resting.
- No.
I don't think this is merely an infection.
Fred's skin is hardening like a shell.
I think she's being hollowed out
so this thing can use her to gestate.
To claw its way back into the world.
That's speculation.
Either way, she dies.
- Any chance of finding this Deeper Well?
- I already have.
It's in England, in the Cotswolds.
That's the location.
Tell Harmony to prep the jet.
We can be there in 10 hours.
You can be there in four.
We have really good jets.
It will have a guardian, maybe several.
- Let them send an army.
- How do we know this'll do squat?
It's like prison for the dead.
If something gets out...
...it can be drawn back
from the source.
- That's our shot.
- Yes, I think it is.
If nobody thinks it's too ridiculous,
I'm going to pray.
No, it's appreciated.
Time is not on our side.
Nobody's on our side.
ANGEL:
Come on.
Let's save the day.
Fred, you can't be doing this.
Please, Wesley,
I am exactly the person to be doing this.
Something could have been missed.
Whatever is happening,
we'll stop it, I swear to you.
- I have to work.
- You have to lie down.
I am not the damsel in distress.
I am not some case.
I have to work this.
I lived in a cave for five years in a world
where they killed my kind like cattle.
I am not gonna be cut down
by some monster flu.
I am better than that.
I wonder...
How very scared I am.
I swear on my life we will stop this,
but you must be back in bed.
- That's where I need you to fight.
- Like I'm 6 years old?
This is a house of death.
That can call up any book you need?
Every one.
Then bring it.
Take me home.
I've never flown before.
I've been in a helicopter.
They don't go this high.
Back to the mother country.
After we save Fred, we should
hit the West End. Take in a show.
- I've never seen Les Mis.
- Trust me.
Halfway through the first act,
you'll be drinking humans again.
I can't lose her, Spike.
You won't.
I lost Cordy.
You're not hearing me. I know you've
got healers working for you.
I don't care if the Old Ones scare them
or if they kill them.
Get them down here,
or you'll be in a world of hurt.
No, I'm not talking about a lawsuit,
I'm talking about crunching bones.
And if you think...
[PHONE CLICKS]
We freeze her.
Take her down to cryogenics.
If we can't stop this thing,
maybe we can just...
...freeze it in its tracks...
...till we can come up with something.
- You sure you can do that?
Let's test it out.
I finally get you up to my bedroom,
and all you wanna do is read.
You dozed off.
Was I making too much noise?
Not enough.
I need noise to keep me here.
Is it today?
I mean...
You only slept for an hour.
That's an hour I don't got now.
Angel and Spike are on their way
to finding your cure...
...and I shouldn't like to be the thing
standing in their way.
And book man?
Book man came through.
I think I gave them what they need.
Feigenbaum!
- What?
- I have to find him.
He's the master of...
I have to have Feigenbaum here.
Who is Feigenbaum?
I don't remember.
Shh...
[SOBBING]
Isn't it terrible?
At a time like this,
I'm worried about how crappy I look.
You're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
Do you always like splotchy girls?
It's my curse.
Read to me.
The Dread Host's Compendium
of Immortal Leeches?
Can that be any book in the world?
Name one.
"She was such a little girl,
one did not expect...
...such a look on her small face.
It would have been an old look
for a child of 12...
...and Sara Crewe was only 7.
The fact was, however, she was always
dreaming and thinking odd things...
...and could not remember any time
when she had not been thinking...
...things about grown-up people
and the world they belonged to.
She felt as if she had lived a long,
long time."
SPIKE: When is a door not a door?
When it's not sodding well there.
Right there.
Wanna bet that's the entrance
to the Deeper Well?
Either that or Christmas Land.
Do you ever have any fun?
[GROWLING]
- About to.
- They even brought us weapons.
- Strategy?
- Just hold my hand.
- St. Petersburg.
- Thought you'd forgotten.
- Damn it.
- No. Don't say "damn it."
You got me all up in this
Walt Disney mojo...
They're impervious to the cold.
The blood tissue freezes...
...but they just keep working away
like it's a sunny day in L.A.
I'm sorry.
- So that's a bust. What else you got?
- I don't...
God, I can't think, I'm so nervous.
Look, I'd never tell her this...
...but I care about Fred more than...
She's like no one I've met, you know?
I do.
Nothing would make me happier
than to be the white knight here...
...and have her look at me
the way that...
I mean, I don't just care about Fred...
...I practically worship it.
You said "it."
- What?
- Not "her." You said, "I worship it."
Oops.
That all? We haven't even started!
DROG YN:
Well, I'd say that's enough.
Drogyn.
DROG YN:
Angel.
You're the Keeper of the Well.
Have been for decades.
- Well, who in the bloody...?
- Do not ask me a question.
If you ever ask me a question,
I will kill you outright.
Don't think for a moment that I can't.
- He can. He would.
- Eh?
- You're here about Illyria.
- Yes.
- Walk in.
- But how...?
Didn't I just say to you,
not one moment ago, don't...
...ask?
Seriously. He doesn't like questions.
Why the bloody hell not?
He can't lie.
You did this. You did all of this!
Technically, that's not the case.
I just played my part.
You couldn't stand Wes winning her,
so you kill her?
No, I meant everything I said about her.
I chose Fred because I love her.
Because she's worthy.
You think I'd have my god
hatched out of some schmuck?
What do you...?
This was all set in motion
millions of years ago, Charles.
There's just no way to stop it.
Angel and Spike...
They're really on track,
but it doesn't matter.
Angel's not gonna save her.
- You don't know Angel.
- I'm not being clear.
I don't mean that Angel's
gonna fail to save her.
I mean he's gonna let her die.
Would you read to me some more?
Of course.
The light hurts my eyes...
...but I don't want you to turn it off.
But it hurts my eyes.
Everything's so bright and hollow.
The cavemen win.
Of course the cavemen win.
- Never thought you'd end up here.
- I could say the same.
SPIKE: So you two know each other.
That was a statement. I know you do.
I'll tell you as much as I can.
The Old Ones were demons, pure.
They warred as we would breathe,
endlessly.
The greater ones were interred.
Death wasn't always their end.
Illyria was feared and beloved
as few are.
It was lain to rest
in the very depths of the Well...
...until it disappeared a month ago.
SPIKE:
And you didn't miss it till now.
Makes you quite the crap jailer,
doesn't it?
Also a statement.
- Your friend likes to talk.
- So much, he's even right sometimes.
The man I remember
couldn't be stolen from so easily.
The tomb was not stolen.
It disappeared.
I believe it was predestined to,
as part of Illyria's escape plan.
And as for my not noticing...
...well, my charges are not few.
SPIKE:
Bloody hell.
How far does this go down?
DROG YN:
All the way.
All the way through the Earth.
So the coffin disappeared.
Teleported...
But it was brought to us.
Illyria was a great power.
So great that,
after millions of years dead...
...somewhere on this earth,
it still has acolytes.
There's only a few of us now.
I came to L.A. because I knew
that's where its kingdom had been.
It was to teleport back
to the base of its power...
...but the continents drifted,
which they do.
I had others help me get it here,
but then it got stuck in customs...
...but you took care of that.
You signed the order to bring it into the
lab so you could get another brain boost.
It's like I said.
I'm just one small part
of a great machine.
Angel's gonna save her.
What he's fighting against
is older than the concept of time.
I couldn't stop it.
There's nothing left to do now but wait.
Wait and try and figure out
exactly what you want to tell your...
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, God, I've sinned!
I've sinned, and I'm being punished.
I don't know what's wrong.
I never got a B-minus before.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Make it stop.
It's been freed,
the demon's essence?
Yeah, it's been freed.
Why do you think we're here?
And what's your favorite color?
Manchester United's goalkeeper?
How many fingers?
You wanna kill me, try.
I don't have time for your quirks.
The power to draw back Illyria
lies in there.
It requires a champion who's traveled
from where it lies to where it belongs.
- You got two of those right here.
- But I didn't know it was free.
Bringing the sarcophagus back
will draw Illyria out of your friend...
...and into every single person
between here and there.
It will become the mystical equivalent
of airborne.
It will claw into every soul in its path
to keep from being trapped entire.
Tens, maybe hundreds, of thousands
will die in agony...
...if you save her.
No.
That's madness.
DROG YN:
This is a place of madness.
I'll prepare the spell.
Your choice.
Hell with the world.
[FRED GASPING]
Why did we go there?
Why did we think we could beat it?
It's evil, Wesley.
It's bigger than anything.
I don't believe that.
I'm with him!
He won't leave me now.
We're so close.
I will never leave you.
That was bad...
...but it's better now.
You won't leave me?
I won't.
My boys.
I walk with heroes. Think about that.
You are one.
Superhero...
...and this is my power.
To not let them take me.
Not me.
That's right.
That's right.
He's with me.
Spike.
This goes all the way through...
...to the other side.
So I figure...
...there's a bloke
somewhere around New Zealand...
...standing on a bridge like this one...
...Iooking back down at us.
All the way down.
There's a hole in the world.
Feels like we ought to have known.
Will you kiss me?
Would you have loved me?
I've loved you since I've known you.
No, that's not...
I think maybe even before.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no.
I need you to talk to my parents.
They have to know I wasn't scared,
that it was quick...
...that I wasn't scared.
- Oh, God.
- You have to fight.
Don't have to talk.
Concentrate on fighting.
Just hold on.
I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
I'm not scared.
Please, Wesley...
...why can't I stay?
Please.
Please.
This will do.
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[ENGLISH SDH]