Angel (1999–2004): Season 4, Episode 18 - Shiny Happy People - full transcript

When the demon Cordelia gives birth to turns out to be a saintly, beautiful woman, all who lay eyes on her become entranced by her spell. With Cordelia in a coma, Angel and the gang help the new, unnamed prophet create the perfect Utopian L.A. But as every spell is a deception, even the most peaceful and reasonable ideals may conceal the darkest of secrets.

NARRATOR: Previously on Angel:
- Connor, we're having a baby.

- We don't know if it's Cordy.
- Or what she's got baking in her oven.

Evil and pregnant?
I'm guessing it ain't cookies.

Took you long enough to figure it out.

[GLASS BREAKING]

ANGEL:
Connor, wait!

Come on!

Maybe there's another way. A way
to bring our baby into the world now.

- How?
- I'll need some special things.

[SOBBING]

[BLOOD SPLATTERS]



It's coming.
The beginning of a new world.

She lied to you, Connor.

I'm so sorry.

[CORDELIA SCREAMS]

[YELLS]

Oh, my God.

You're beautiful.

Angel.

- It's all so...
- Unworthy.

- Wonderful.

Cordelia.

Thank you...

...for protecting me and nourishing me.

Your spirit has been my shelter.



But you can rest peacefully now.

I'm here.

That's all she wanted.

To give you life.

And I can feel all of it.

The cold floor, the air, this skin.

Everything is perfect.

No.

It's not.

I came here to kill you.

I should be punished.

WOMAN:
Angel...

...I can feel your suffering.

But now...

...that suffering is going to end.

Shiny Happy People

I should have done this a long time ago.

I don't know what I was thinking,
letting these books be all unorganized.

LORNE: One does tend to let
the housekeeping slide...

...during an apocalypta-lite.

Hey, honey, all this to-and-fro,
it's making me edgier.

- What's that?
- Oh, relax.

It's just the buzz saw.
Nothing to get worked up over.

It's Gunn and Wes in the basement.

They're dismembering that
armor-plated demon, Skip.

Oh, right.

There's been a lot of dismembering
going on in the basement, if you ask me.

- It's been a busy month.
- God, why did it have to be her?

- I think you skipped a groove, darling.
- Cordelia.

Why couldn't the Beastmaster have
chosen some horrible, evil person...

...to be its vessel?

Wouldn't be much in
the way of camouflage.

He's been gone so long.

You've shifted gender pronouns,
sweetheart. Not that I'm judging...

Angel. Do you think he found them?

- Them being...?
- Connor and Cordy.

Well...

Maybe he got there too late,
and she already had it.

- And by "it," you must mean the...
- The baby...

...or the hell spawn, or whatever it is.

Skip said the Beastmaster was
using Cordelia to give birth to itself.

What if Angel didn't get there
in time to stop it?

Or worse, what if he did
get there in time?

Do you think he'd actually...

...you know?

Dismember Mama?

Would Angel really kill Cordelia?

To save the world?

Son of a bitch.

Okay, not that I was expecting
a transition, but still...

Drop it, junior.

Fred, don't get too close.

- Drop it?
- You heard me. Drop the knife.

But you're always after me
to clean up after myself.

I was just gonna put it away.

Are you still evil-ish?
Because I'm confused.

- Guys, it's okay. He's with me.
- Oh, my God, Cordelia.

- She's not...
- No, she's not dead.

She's just resting.
She's in a peaceful place.

No, I meant...

...she's not pregnant.

Oh. No, not anymore.

Then you were too late?
The thing was born?

I'm guessing it wasn't a chubby
little cherub?

- Not exactly.
- But you killed it. It's dead, right?

Well, I tried.

I was going to.

I just...

You gotta stop torturing yourself, Dad.

He was like this all the way back
in the car.

It escaped, then?

Disappeared.

Didn't even say goodbye.

Is that, like, baby evil?

I imagine we're not
talking about a baby.

No.

- Okay, so what are we dealing with?
- Eight legs? Three heads? Horns?

- Hey!
- No offense.

- Two legs. One head. No horns.
- Let me guess. Green?

No. Kind of...

...mocha.

- We need to find her.
- Agreed.

Hope it's easier
to kill than the Beast.

Kill? No, no kill.

- Since when?
- Since we've all been saved.

Oh, well, that's crazy talk.

- They don't understand.
- No.

We don't want to kill her.

We just...

...want to find her
so we can worship her.

That's all.

She's amazing. You'll go nuts.

- Yeah, that'll help us relate better.
ANGEL: When you meet her...

...you'll understand.

Angel, whatever you're feeling right
now, it's some form of enchantment.

Yeah.

It's a spell.

Think.

Even before its birth,
this thing controlled Cordelia...

...caused her to do unspeakable things.

It's evil.

Remember the rain of fire?
Permanent midnight?

- All the horrors done in its name?
WOMAN: Must be rectified.

My God.

People keep saying that.

I'm just gonna...

...do this.

For so long, you've all been drowning.

And the fighting and the pain.

I'd like to help.

If you'll have me.

Tell us what to do.

Eternal bliss. It suits her.

FRED:
Cordelia must be so happy...

...to be the one who brought you here.

What an honor.

I'm the one who's honored.

By Cordelia...

...and by all of you.

I can't tell you how good it is
to be back.

Back?

- Then you've been here before?
WOMAN: Yes.

In the beginning,
before the time of man.

Great beings walked the Earth.

Untold power emanated
from all quarters.

The seeds of what would come
to be known as good and evil.

But the shadows stretched
and became darkness...

...and the malevolent
among us grew stronger.

The Earth became a demon realm.

Those of us who had
the will to resist...

...left this place.

But we remained ever watchful.

You're a Power that was?

But then something new emerged
from deep inside the Earth.

- Neither demon nor god.
- Man.

And it seemed for a time
that through this new race...

...a balance might be restored.

Guess we really let you down.

But you didn't.

It was we who failed you.

We became little more than observers.

I could no longer bear to just watch.

All the suffering...

...I had to find a way back.

But first I needed a miracle.

And so I arranged one.

Through you, Angel.

Through Darla.

That is where my parentage began.

Two vampires. Creatures once human,
corrupted by darkness.

And you with a soul.

A miracle already.

- But how?
- Through Lorne.

Huh?

The day Lorne sent Angel
and human Darla into the trials...

...to earn a new chance at life.

- I failed.
WOMAN: No.

You earned that life,
and there it is.

All these events unfolded that I
might re-enter this physical plane.

I know there's been chaos.

All the events we've witnessed these
past months, all the madness...

...it was birth pains.

- But the storm has passed.
- And here comes the sun.

And Cordelia. Will she wake up?

If we take hold of the world,
strip away the thorns...

...win the battle,
then, yes, I think she will.

How do we do that?

One evil at a time.

Much damage has been done
in my name.

There are demons,
forces of hate all over this city.

We're going to destroy them.

We're going to change the world.

Finally.

Oh! That ain't gonna work.

Could have told you that.
Clean up my lane, jackass.

"Let's go to L.A.," you said.

"Sun's gone out," you said.

"Gonna be the feast of the century."

But the sun is back...

...and here we are wasting
our time, bowling.

I'm telling you, something big is coming.

And when it gets here, we're
gonna be in prime position for...

An ass-whupping?

- Sit with me.
- Do you think we should?

We have nothing to fear.

Okay.

Now, what are we going to call me?

You don't have a name.

No.

You should have a name.

Yes.

I don't know.

I can't imagine one word,
you know, summing you up.

I mean, you're a superior being.
Shouldn't you...?

Don't you want
to choose it yourself?

No one born to this Earth
can choose their own name.

They're named
by those who love them.

There are some rules
even I must follow.

I'm so sorry. It's all my fault.

I'll be fine. You tried to caution me.
I should have listened.

ANGEL:
Hey, you hurt her, you scum!

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Dad!

MAN:
Over there.

It's all right. It's over.
You're safe now.

What?

Oh...

Everyone, please stand up.

If you wish to honor me,
honor each other. We are all one.

You're hurt.

I'll be all right.

Everything will be all right.

All my life, so empty.
That's over now, isn't it?

Yes, Margaret, it's over.

I know you.

I know you all.

I've come here for you,
to bring you the gift of peace.

You will be freed from
the pains you've suffered.

The world will change forever, and you
will know the power of my love.

The chaos will fade
and harmony will reign.

Monster.

It has to die!

Angel, that's enough.

[MAN SOBBING]

Don't you see it?

No.

No, don't touch me!

WOMAN:
Poor thing.

- Wesley.
- I'll call an ambulance.

All of you...

...so loving, so strong.

How can I ask you to understand
that a man like this...

...so full of fear, anger, so alone...

...he will always be alone.

But we have found each other.

What about "Helen"?

- Helen.
- That's got a ring.

Yes, it does.

However, something along
the lines of Dianthia or Iphigenia.

- Those are some long lines.
- Or Aristophila, which means...

"Supreme lover of mankind."

That's lovely.

Well, Helen was my grandma's name.

- Helen is beautiful as well.
- All right, what about...?

FRED:
Clorox.

Clorox. She bleaches away the hate.

- Probably best we avoid brand names.
- No, I meant this shirt.

- I know I can get this stain out.
- It's not important, Fred.

No, it is. I can make it
good as new again.

There's really no need.
It's just a shirt.

But it's yours.

And it was on you.

On your holy body-ness.

- And it's my fault you were attacked.
- Nonsense. There is no fault.

It was a new and vivid experience.

To be able to bleed, feel things...

...anything, even pain, is a gift.

- You take your senses for granted.
- Club soda.

May as well let her do her thing.

Yes, Fred can be quite single-minded
when she's focused on a problem.

- Yeah.
- You love her very much.

Both of you.

Don't you see?

You both have the same love.

It should bring you closer together,
not drive you apart.

I'm sorry you were hurt.

- But there was so much blood.
- I heal quickly.

It must be a benefit
of being a former Power, I guess.

What was wrong with that man?
Why did he want to hurt you?

I'm not sure.

Some people can't accept change.

It scares them,
and that fear becomes hatred...

...and they take that hatred
out on others.

Or sometimes on themselves.

That fragrance, it's lovely.
What is it?

Must be the jasmine.

Night-blooming.

So beautiful, so Lonely.

Like you.

- I shamed you.
- No.

I did.

I almost killed that man.

- I think I would have if...
- Angel...

...you were only trying to protect me.
There can be no shame in that.

I don't want to fail you again.

Then don't.

It's not that simple.

Why isn't it?

Because...

...what I'm feeling...

You must let go of your anger
towards that poor soul.

No, not anger.

Happiness.

- I'm so happy that you're here.
- And that's a problem?

For me, yes.

If I get too happy...

...if I allow myself to feel
what I'm feeling, Angelus might...

I know.

But soon, none of that will matter.

Evil will be banished
by the deeds we will do, Angel.

Even the evil that's inside of you.

That, too, will be gone,
and all that will be left is the beauty.

- Eradicate all evil.
- Yes.

Is that even possible?

- We've been fighting for so long.
- I know. I've seen it all.

That's why I've come back.

You are my general.

I have faith in you.

You have faith in me.

I have faith in all my warriors.
Each and every one of you.

You are all up to the task.

You're not alone anymore.

I will be with you everywhere you go.

I'll be at your side.

Guiding your hands.

Giving you strength.

With my help, all things are possible.

There will be no doubt...

... no worry...

... no fear...

... for you will know
you cannot be beaten.

TV REPORTER: After several weeks
of skyrocketing homicide rates...

... finally this week, a dramatic decrease
in Southland murders.

The sheriff's department
attributes it to their new...

... Tough on Crime policy
instituted last month...

A little credit for the Divinity
Behind the Scenes policy wouldn't suck.

It's not important who gets credit.
What matters is we're winning.

- Lf we keep going at this rate...
- L.A.'s gonna be a no-demon zone.

Hello, Garden City.

You never doubted us. Not for a second.

There's no room for doubt, Angel.
Only love.

Hey, we made the news.

"Dramatic decrease
in Southland murders this week."

Hey, so much
for that nagging Apocalypse.

But, hey, speaking of dramatic, I've got
a smidgen of a surprise for you upstairs.

Surprises, they're one of my
favorite things about being human.

- Isn't she...?
- Yeah.

- A miracle.
- Well, I tried. What do you think?

It looks brand-new.

It is.

I bought a new one.

Even better.

I know.

Well, what's the matter?

- She'll love it.
- I know, but she's not here.

She's just upstairs.

Yes, but when she's not around...

...I hurt.

WOMAN:
Oh, Lorne.

It's too diva, isn't it?
Diva, deity. It's a thin line.

It's lovely.

There's that wonderful smell again.

Jasmine.

Oh, really, Lorne.
It's more than I could ask for.

Oh, well, I'm as tickled as someone
so tickled they're out of similes.

- Well, I'll let you have your privacy.
- Thank you again, Lorne.

You're troubled.

Come in, Connor.

Tell me what's bothering you.

I...

I can't.

Of course you can.
You can tell me anything.

Cordelia used to say that to me.

It's just...

...having you here...

...I finally know why I was created.

For you. To help bring you here.

That and so much more.

But...

...I don't deserve...

I shouldn't be so happy.

I've done things. I've betrayed
my dad, hurt people.

I know. All of it.

I've watched you,
not just these past days...

...but all your life, and before.

You deserve all the happiness
I can bring you.

Why me?

I needed a unique soul
to help create me.

Yours.

Even before you were born,
I chose you to be my father.

And now we're going
to transform the world.

But my father, he's the champion.

Everything has its season.
It's your time, Connor, your destiny.

Hi. I know it's not the exact
same shirt, but it's pretty close.

I scrubbed the other one until my
fingers bled, but I couldn't get out the...

Blood!

WOMAN:
Fred, is something wrong?

[SOBBING]

I'm sorry.

- I'll get her some water.
- No, don't.

I mean, I'll be fine.

GUNN:
Sounds like someone's...

What's all the booing and hooing,
sweet pea?

Fred, there's no reason to cry.
She's right there.

I know. It's just that I started
thinking about what...

...it would be like if you weren't here.

I guess I kind of lost it.

I'm not going anywhere, Fred.

You can trust in that.

I think I just need
some time alone to...

...you know...

...count my blessings because
there are so many, and it's good...

...to take stock.

FRED:
Cordelia?

It's me.

I'm here.

Hello?

Remember before the big brain suck...

...when Lorne read you, and it was
all scary, headachy pukiness?

Well, what if that's all true?

Only worse, because we
don't even know to fight back.

Not even Angel.

Cordelia...

...I wish you could...
ANGEL: I know what you're thinking.

You do?

Sometimes when I look in her eyes...

...I've seen it too.

It's overwhelming.

The lies, the deceit...

...it just melts away.

Nothing left but the beauty.

Um...

Yeah...

...it's incredible.

I can't believe I almost...

Seems like a lifetime ago.

It's all so different
from what we expected.

Big, hideous evil,
trying to end the world?

Nice to be wrong.

Yeah, and now that she's here,
everything just seems so easy.

I know. Feels like a dream.

But have you noticed
how we all just kind of...

...do what she says,
don't ask questions?

Isn't it a relief?

The constant questioning...

...it's finally over.

Hi. Yes. I'm looking for a patient,
a man.

He was brought in Thursday,
named Stover.

Are you a family member?

Am I? Yes. I have a family.
I'm a member.

L...
He's my brother.

Father. My father's brother.

I have a Stoller.

Half-brother.
Uncle. Half-uncle. Stoller...

...that's it.

Please, I need to know if he's all right.

Dr. Counts treated him.

- Is he still here?
- He was transferred to...

Oh.

John?

John Stoller?

Go away.

John, I have to ask you,
do you have a history of mental...?

What I mean to ask is...

...have you been
in this particular ward before?

You mean, am I crazy?

Well...

...were you before Thursday?

Leave me alone.

I don't think you're crazy.

I think I know what happened.

I think I know what you saw...

...because I saw it too.

- The woman you attacked...
- Not a woman.

Her face, it's horrible, isn't it?

- Decay, blood, things living there.
- You did see it?

- Yes.
- Did it touch you?

What?

Don't let it touch you.

She did that to you?

Untie me, please. I have to get
out of here. I have to finish it.

- Finish what?
- She has to die. We have to kill it.

We? No, I mean, maybe, but no.

- You said you saw it.
- I did.

- Then you've been called too.
- Called?

Called to the mission.

Called?

No, I don't get called.
I'm not the called type.

I, you know, take messages
for my boss. He gets called.

- Called?
- It's our duty. Others won't see.

You're wrong.

If what we saw is true, there are people
who will understand, who will help.

You've been called.

No. Like I said, l...

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Okay, that's just eerie.

It's Angel. They're probably
wondering where I am.

- You have to do it.
- I have to go.

Thank you.
I'm sorry to have disturbed you.

Don't trust her. Don't trust anyone!

[LAUGHING]

GIRL:
I've never seen you like this.

I'm telling you, you have
to meet her. Come on.

LORNE: We are just excited head over
tea kettle about this entire event.

I just can't even believe... Hey,
hey, hey, pumpkin, where you been?

Out. What happened?

She went for a walk.
It was like A Hard Day's Night.

Everybody followed her back.
Isn't it fabulous?

Oh, hey. Excuse me, darling.

Can you believe this? What is it?

I need you.

If I told you something...

...you know, that maybe
you didn't want to know even...

...you'd trust me, right?

Of course.

I...

I went to see that man
from the restaurant.

- The one who...
- The attacker? Why?

That's what I wanted to know,
why he would do that.

Wesley...

...he saw something.

We both saw something.

I needed to know if it
was the same something.

- And?
- It was.

Wesley, I know you're going
to find this hard to accept, but...

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Rotting flesh?

Really?

You don't believe me.

If you say you saw it, I believe you.

He told me not to tell anyone.

- But I knew if I came to you...
- You did the right thing.

[CLAPPING]

You'll help me?

Of course I'll help you. Wait here.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I'm sorry.

LORNE:
Fred!

Are you crazy?

What? Fred!

- Don't come near me!
- Put down the knife.

- I'll kill him!
- You don't...

- I'll kill him.
- Easy, kiddo.

There's nowhere you can go, Fred.

My love will follow you everywhere.

LORNE:
Hey!

WOMAN:
Let her go.

Now is not the time.
We are all gathered here in peace.

Let's not let her
take that away from us.

I can't believe Fred's evil.

GUNN:
Should've seen it coming.

Nothing like a homicidal maniac
to put a damper on a spiritual gathering.

WOMAN: What they saw tonight,
it's not what I would have wanted.

But now they all understand the reality
of what hatred can do to a person.

ANGEL:
The reality is...

...we need to find Fred.
- Thank you, Angel.

This scent, it soothes me.

We leave now, Connor and I
can probably still track her.

I know you're all in pain.

- You trusted Fred, and she betrayed you.
GUNN: Forget us.

She tried to kill you.

And the sadness
that brings me is immeasurable.

I should've just
let her cut my head off.

My species...

...decapitation loophole.

Still might have stabbed you,
let you bleed to death.

Why didn't I see it?

Angel, none of us did.

You can't blame yourself.

She was acting weird earlier.

I just thought it was Fred...

...being Fred.

That man at the hospital...

I'm still shocked
she would go to see him.

Once he had her there, he
must have monkeyed with her brain.

Maybe he made her do it,
with magic or something.

I doubt even Fred understands...

...why she's so determined to destroy
everything we're trying to create...

...which makes
her even more dangerous.

We have to kill her.

There's no other way.

As long as she's out there,
she's a threat.

It may come to that.

But first, we have to try to help her.

Get to the root of the hatred
that's infected her heart.

The only way
is to bring her home.

- Let's go.
WOMAN: No.

We'll find Fred, but not tonight.
Tomorrow will be easier than today.

We'll have eyes everywhere.

WAITER:
Here you go.

Looks like you
just lost your best friend.

All of them.

- I never thought...
- Yeah, well, that's life in the big city.

Welcome back.
Chef Arnold Michske will join us later...

... but right now we have the most
amazing surprise.

Please join me in welcoming
a very special visitor...

...Jasmine!
JASMINE: Good morning, Los Angeles.

Thank you for inviting me.
This is a special day.

REPORTER: We want to know everything
about you. Start at the beginning.

JASMINE: Trish, in the beginning,
before the time of man...

... great beings walked the Earth.

Untold power emanated
from all quarters...

... the seeds of what would
come to be known as good and evil.

Yet there was a balance.
The shadows stretched...

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