Angel (1999–2004): Season 4, Episode 16 - Players - full transcript

NARRATOR:
Previously:

CORDELIA: The fire,
blotting out the sun...

...those were the first steps
to something bigger.

Connor, we're having a baby.

- Gwen.
- Hi, there.

- What are you?
- I'm a freak.

Move! There we go.

Angelus.

- I'm telling you, I don't know this Beast.
- But Angelus might. We need Angelus.

Angelus.

There's something bigger.
The Beast has a boss.



[ANGELUS WHISTLING]

LILAH: He's gonna kill us.
- I know.

Why do you think I let him out?

Killing Angelus is the only way
to guarantee our family's safety.

Connor, it's over. It's me.

- We're back.
- It would seem.

ANGEL: I know things...
CORDELIA: Sorry...

...but if this is the speech
about how the worst is behind us...

...you may want to save it for later.

CORDELIA:
I know it's a bit of a shock.

I mean, nobody's more shocked than me.
Okay, maybe him.

Um, sorry to be so...

But I'm, like you said,
kind of shocked.

Yeah, because hasn't it only been like...?
Definitely shocked.



I haven't been hiding
or ashamed or anything.

It's just with the Beast
and his psycho master...

...and then Faith and Willow
and all that dramarama.

- Not to mention...
- Angelus?

Everything's just been
so Clash of the Titans around here.

I didn't want to be a distraction.

Well!

Put me on the short bus
and send me off to clueless school.

A mystical pregnancy right under
my beak and not even a tingle.

Huh.

How long have you known?

Some time after we
brought forth Angelus.

That's a couple weeks.
Looks more like eight months.

The last time Cordelia was impregnated,
she came to term overnight.

That was a crawly, evil demon thing.

This is different.

Still, shouldn't we try
and find out what's in there?

We already know.

Our baby.

Well, congratulations.

You're gonna have a grand-spawn.

You don't know what it's like.

How scary it is.

I'm gonna have a child, and all you
can do is joke because you don't like me.

We shouldn't have told them.

- Cordelia.
- I know it's hard to understand.

None of you have ever had a living being
growing inside of you.

And this...

...my sweet baby...

We're connected.

I feel what it feels, and I can't explain it,
but I sense its goodness...

...its love.

You'll see.

My baby will be here soon,
and then you'll all see.

Players

How'd you do that?

I'm a thief. Got my stuff?

Would you stop it?

- Stop what?
- Acting shifty.

You've never done this before,
have you?

Let me give you a tip, sugar bear.

There are over 8 million
people in this city...

...as far as anyone can tell,
we're two of them, just a normal couple.

Nobody's gonna give us a
second look if you stop acting shifty.

Look, these are very powerful people
that you're going up against.

- lf they catch you, they'll kill...
- I know the risk.

But I'm going in there
with or without your help.

And I'm not coming out without Lisa.

So are we gonna dance, or what?

That's everything.
Security, blueprints, background.

There, wasn't so bad, was it?

So is it that obvious?

- That I've never done...?
- Trench coat, definite rookie mistake.

So I should dress more like you?

You know, maybe when this is all over,
you and I could...

[THUNDER ROLLS]

Holy!

Really, I'm fine.

Thanks for asking.

Were we too harsh?
I was just asking.

No. They were bound to skulk off
to neutral corners.

Two vampires hook up...

...and for the only time in vamp history,
have a kid, our boy Connor.

Connor grows up, knocks it out with
Cordelia, part-demon, former high being.

Quick as you can say Easy-Bake Oven,
there's a gigantic bun in hers.

I don't think we were too harsh.

The first time Connor tried to attack
Angelus, Lorne's sanctuary spell...

...knocked him to Abilene.
- Which means Connor is part-demon.

Yeah, well that was before my
spell went all flop-a-palooza.

Having two part-demon parents
might explain the "whoosh" factor.

Not gonna be long until
"whoosh" turns into "pop."

Speaking of pop, don't you think our
leader should be part of this confab?

Easy-Bake, flop-a-palooza,
whoosh, pop. I don't skulk.

I've been thinking
about the past few weeks and Angelus.

Angel, you can't feel guilty
for anything Angelus did.

I don't. I knew the risks.

We all did.

Some of us paid
a higher price than others.

Angelus didn't kill Lilah.

She was already dead,
killed by the Beast.

Well, that's less terrible.

There's no excuse...

...for what Angelus did to her...

...but I'm sorry for your loss.

We got two pressing matters:

Figuring out Cordelia's pregnancy
and destroying the Beastmaster.

- Lorne, you're...
- Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie?

I was gonna say
a guy with good contacts.

Must be rumblings
about the new player.

Talk to your sources.
See if anyone knows anything.

- I'm your demon.
ANGEL: Fred, Wesley.

If there's experts on mystical births,
we're it.

We'll pull the files on Darla and her
pregnancy, see what we can find.

Gunn, I want you to sit tight for now.

Never hurts to have muscle on deck.

In the meantime, has to be a reason
why the Beastmaster wanted Angelus.

I'll piece together what I know.

Things he said when he was
in my head, everything.

- Maybe something will...
GWEN: Strike you?

Careful what you wish for.

Well, look who's back,
now that the lights are on.

Oh, missed you too, babe.

Gwen, it's really not a great time
for a social call.

We're pretty swamped. You know...

...Apocalypse.

The thing is, there's a girl,
she's in trouble.

- That's what you guys do, right?
- Well, yeah.

I'm in a jam.
Can't get out of it alone.

I need someone suave, a guy
who can handle himself in a tight spot.

- Gwen, I'd love to help...
- I meant him.

I've been looking all over for you.

Connor...

...what they said,
you can't let it bother you.

- I don't care what they say.
CORDELIA: Really?

That why you retreated
to the Fortress of Solitude?

It doesn't make sense.

Freaking out over pregnancy is the m.o.
with the gang around here.

Not them. You.
All that stuff you said about Angelus.

And Willow,
she didn't open a gate to evil...

...she put back Angel's soul.
I almost killed him.

But you didn't. Angel's back,
everything worked out.

Everything happens for a reason,
even if it doesn't always seem that way.

- How can you say that?
- Think about it.

You sinking Angel
to the bottom of the ocean...

...being kicked out of the house, me not
knowing who I was and coming to you...

...all of those moments
and a million others led to this miracle.

But sending me down to the basement?

I had the stake.
What was the reason for that?

I thought our baby was in danger.

All my instincts told me that killing
Angelus was the only way to protect it.

But you were wrong.

What's important is when I needed help,
you were there for me.

Now I know I can trust you completely,
no matter what.

See? Everything happens for a reason.

Connor, before our baby comes,
I might ask you to do some things...

...for us.

And I want you to remember...

...there's always a reason.

I'll remember.

So why me?

I told you,
I need a suave guy in a tight spot.

Suave.
You been collecting these for a while?

Yeah, I get one each trip. Just brought
the dolphin back from Tahiti.

You collect anything when you travel?

Yeah, I got a big old scar on my thigh
from Boyle Heights...

...piece of vamp stake I picked up
in Alhambra...

...and a couple of burn marks
on my hip from Encino.

Name a town,
I'll show you the souvenir.

- I didn't mean to...
- No, I'm not complaining.

I've seen more here than most
people seen traveling around the world.

Someday maybe.

What's so big and bad that Electro-Gwen
needs my super-suave assistance?

- Something about a girl in trouble?
GWEN: Yeah.

I did a black-bag deal
for this corp.

Happens all the time.
Two companies vie for a contract.

Company A hires me to make sure
Company B's thingamabob...

...doesn't so much bob as bust.

Company A gets a
multimillion-dollar payday.

Right.
But this time, Company B fought back.

They kidnapped this girl.
Her name's Lisa.

She's the daughter of the guy
who hired me.

- Nobody can go to the cops, because...
- Of what I did.

So you see, it's my fault. I have
to save her and I can't do it alone.

Don't ask.

This is everything I could get
on the man who's holding her.

His name is Takeshi Morimoto.
He's the head of the company I tanked.

He'll kill her if Company A doesn't
come clean about what they did.

This dude's a serious player.

Chairman emeritus, honorary degrees,
all kinds of charity work:

Cancer research, wildlife preservation,
the zoo committee.

Bank fraud, smuggling,
money laundering.

GWEN: And now kidnapping.
- This guy know about you?

Nope. That's why I think we have
a shot at getting to the girl.

They're keeping her
at his gated compound.

Armed guards, infrared surveillance,
dogs, the works.

If we're gonna have half a chance...

Stop grinning and share the joke
with the entire class.

- You think this is impossible.
- No, I think it's fantastic.

I spent most of this year trapped in
what I can only describe as a turgid...

...supernatural soap opera.

The fact that I have a chance
to go out and really help somebody...

It feels good to be doing good.

So how are we breaking
into Fort Knox?

GWEN:
We're walking in the front door.

- How are you doing?
- You tell me.

I'm thinking James Bond
never looked this fine.

You're right.

I'd feel better if we were packing
some of his weapons.

Charles, we are the secret weapons.

- Nervous?
- No.

I've gotten into clubs with tighter
security than this.

Go ahead.

Go ahead, sir.

One down, one to go.

How will your electro-thing do
with these metal detectors?

Piece of cake.

Now if we can just get out
as easily as we got in, we'll...

[BEEPING]

Why did I even say that?

What seems to be the problem?

Electronic imprint on your invitation's
been altered.

I can explain that.
I was struck by lightning.

Really.

- See how my life sucks?
- Step this way, please.

Please don't make a scene.

A bit late for that,
with the beeping and batons.

- Maybe it's not our night.
- Then we make it our night.

This is my one shot, and I'm
not leaving without you know who.

Now, if that means we do it
the hard way...

Keep your mittens on, Sparky.
Morimoto-san.

Konbanwa.

[SPEAKS JAPANESE]

Didn't follow that last bit.

Shot my entire Japanese vocabulary
when I said hello.

The gesture is still appreciated.

Mr. Morimoto, I'm Charles Gunn.

We met at the zoo benefit last year.

You don't remember me, do you?

Your wife held that monkey
after my girlfriend did.

Ugly little gray thing?
The monkey, not my girl.

Gwen, you remember Mr. Morimoto.
We met him at the zoo benefit.

- How could I forget?
GUNN: Mr. Morimoto...

...in case we don't have
an opportunity to speak later...

...do me the honor
of accepting this humble gift...

...to thank you for inviting us
into your beautiful home.

- You're too generous.
- Please, it's just a trinket.

- It's beautiful.
- Well, I read somewhere you love tigers.

Truly exquisite. Thank you.

If you'll follow me, please.

- Okay, we tried it your way.
- Hang on.

This way. Please.

GUARD:
All right, go ahead.

That's supposed to be a kid?

An infant Gatbar demon.
The spikes grow to full size in the womb.

Ouch.

Gross factor aside, these pregnancies
all seem to be...

...run-of-the-mill demon life-cycle stuff.
Nothing mystical about them.

They're just pictures, Fred.

It's the pictures in my mind
that are getting me.

I can't stop thinking about
Connor and Cordy...

...hiding up in that room,
imagining what they do up there.

It's like being stuck in a bad movie...

...with those Clockwork Orange
clampy things on my eyeballs.

Why imagine?
Reality's disturbing enough.

Connor's Angel's son.

How did he and Cordy get all couple-y?

They were probably
as surprised as anyone.

But they were both lost...

...Ionely.

No matter how lonely I was,
I would never...

Things happen, Fred.

When you're alienated
from the people you care about...

...you start to look other places.

Lilah.

We were fighting on opposite sides,
but it was the same war.

But you hated her.

Didn't you?

It's not always about holding hands.

[PIANO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]

So when did you become
Mr. Japanese Ambassador?

You watch enough samurai movies,
you learn things about the culture.

The first is reishiki...

...which is a fancy way of stressing
proper etiquette.

The other is, never underestimate
the value of a thoughtful gift.

- You mean, that gift you stole.
- Yeah, sorry.

Hope it wasn't too valuable.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

You stole it back?

It's not like 18th-century jade's
falling off trucks.

What?

Is that her? Shouldn't she be tied
to a chair or something?

Tied up or dressed up, she's a prisoner.
Look at the muscle around her.

I'm gonna see if I can get a better look.
No. Keep an eye on Morimoto.

Come on in, Cordelia.

You know, that never stops
creeping me out.

Yeah?

Kind of creeped out myself.

- Can we not do this right now?
- It's okay by me.

Kind of in the middle
of something anyway.

- Anything coming to mind?
- Not really.

Nothing?

To be honest, I'm almost pining
for the halcyon days of the Beast.

Right. It's not like he slaughtered
hundreds of people with his bare hands.

- The Beast was just a flunky.
- Who did his master's bidding.

Killing Manny, stealing my soul,
murdering Lilah.

Those were surgical strikes, not
the smash-and-trash style of the Beast.

But if Lava Boy didn't do all that,
who did?

- His master.
- I'm his master.

I'm his all-powerful master. And I'm
going to break into a guarded room...

...steal your soul from a safe,
not by ripping it open...

...but by using the combination.

Then I'm gonna hunt and kill Lilah
right under this very roof.

Sure. Evil geniuses live
for that playing-with-fire stuff.

You don't understand.
This was in my head.

I've heard him. And he's insane
enough to pull those stunts.

When you say "insane,"
you mean, like, diabolical?

No, I mean, like,
deluded and demented.

No, he spoke to me in this cheesy,
self-important voice.

I bet he doesn't even
have a master plan.

He's just making it up
as he goes along.

Hey.

Don't worry, we'll figure it out.

Come on, anybody as daredevil-y
as this guy will slip up sooner or later.

When he does, he's dead.

Meteor showers, earthquakes,
that strange thing with the sun.

I find it an exciting time
to be in Los Angeles.

I couldn't agree more.

I can't help but feel
something wonderful is coming.

Don't you, Mr. Gunn?

Something seems to be coming,
just ain't so sure I'd call it wonderful.

Uh, If you'll excuse me.
Gwen, you're not gonna...

- What is it?
- They're gonna kill her, tonight.

Not gonna happen.

We have to act fast.
You get Lisa and get out.

- You mean, "we" need to?
- No, I mean you.

I'm going over there to create
one hell of a distraction.

By the time they figure it out,
you'll have her halfway to my place.

This is our one shot.

Like I said when I signed up,
it feels good to be doing good.

Okay, work your way over there.
Wait for my signal.

Oh, my God. Somebody's trying
to hurt that little girl.

This is Bravo 9,
we have a situation in progress.

Hang in there, we're almost out.

Now you did it.

I'm gonna have to get your lame-ass
blood all over my sweet, new suit.

I spent the last couple of weeks...

...whacking on a giant lava demon
and more vamps than I can count.

Almost forgot how good it feels
to just let off a little steam.

All right, let's get you out of here.

- It's okay. I'm here to take you home.
- I am home.

- No, you've been kidnapped.
- Get out of my house.

Your name's not Lisa, is it?

I'm Aiko Morimoto. And when my daddy
finds out you tried to hurt me...

...he's going to kill you.

- It's you.
- It was the scanners, wasn't it?

Why you wanted me.
Angel, no heartbeat.

Security scan of a dead guy
might raise eyebrows.

For about five seconds, I thought
you might care about something.

So what if I didn't tell you
about my plan?

So what if set you up for a fall? When's
the last time you had this much fun?

I saw your face.
You were having a great time.

- It's because I thought I was doing good.
- You were.

Just not the kind that involves
saving a princess from an evil king.

- So Lisa doesn't exist?
- Yes, she does.

I'd have liberated her from this steel
tomb by now if you'd stop yapping.

It's a military acronym.
Localized lonic Sensory Activator.

- L-l-S-A.
- A weapon? Lisa's a weapon?

Not a weapon,
a covert device worn by black-ops.

Regulates body temp,
heartbeat, body chemistry.

Morimoto's company designed it, and
I've been hired to steal the beta test.

- God bless America.
- Actually, China or North Korea.

Not really sure. Morimoto's selling it
to the highest bidder.

And who are you stealing it for?

Look, there are two things
that make me a good thief.

I steal what I'm paid to,
and I don't ask many questions.

Well, good luck with that.

Nothing's changed. Morimoto's
still a bad guy, you're still a good one.

I can't believe I took time
out of the Apocalypse for this.

Even the pres takes vacations.
Besides, they need you, they'll call.

Come on, we started this together.
Let's finish it the same way.

- It's not the same.
- You can keep the suit.

You know, this would be a lot easier
if you two weren't hovering.

- No rush.
- Take your time.

I think that's it.

CORDELIA:
What's it?

Passage from Lilah's beastie book.

The one Angelus destroyed after the
big voice threatened to re-ensoul him.

Angel's been visualizing the text,
trying to re-create it.

Just, you know, a little thing I can do.

You think there was
something in that book...

...that High-and-Spitey
didn't want us to know?

He's hiding something.

I recognize the text.
It's early Fallorian code system.

Let's see.
"The green cartlike vehicle...

...eats...

...I am not a buckethead."

- Damn it!
- It's a tricky language.

An inverted serif can alter
the meaning of a passage.

- What now?
- I try again.

- Crap.
- No, this is the easy one.

We're out of here.

- We should split up...
- No, we're not doing that.

- Either we both make it out or...
- Neither of us do.

Try this one.

Something about strangling poultry.

- That's it. I gotta get out of here.
- Easy does it, compadre.

No huffy exits before
I spill the joyous news.

- About the baby?
- About El Jefe?

No and no. My sources got nothing
on mystical birth and/or the Big Kahuna.

But Wanda,
that demon you recommended...

...what a peach. She sold me a cleansing
abracadabra to clear my muddled mind.

You're empathic again?

Please. You think this Dungeons and
Dragons cloak is a fashion statement?

- I gotta do this whole song and dance.
- We're getting nowhere.

- lf you need extra hands.
- Sorry, I can only take my two.

Ritual has to be performed solo.

Just me and my shadow,
secluded in a dark, dusty nowhere-land.

But the upside is,
I will be all systems go come sunrise.

- Then you'll be able to read me?
- No worries, dumpling...

...come morning, I will be a lean,
mean, belly-reading machine.

Put that on the desk and step away.

- Set it down now.
- No.

I don't think you realize
who you're up against.

If it's those two girls,
I already kicked their ass once.

But when you put it like that...
Maybe we should.

I won't give it back.

I can't.

- I'm not dying for this.
- I'm finishing the job!

- We're busted.
- I'm not leaving without it.

- Then you're not leaving. Finish it.
- Give it to him.

- No, I need it.
- I said, finish it!

It's mine!

Liar.

You're not stealing it for someone else.
It's for you.

You think it'll fix you.

LORNE:
Oh, fudgicle.

Back where he belongs.

I gotta give you credit.
You are stubborn.

- I know what I want.
- I get that. At least I used to.

- Things aren't so clear anymore.
- You seemed pretty clear tonight.

Adrenaline rush,
when I was trying to save that girl.

I meant when you were saving me.

Hey, I'm just the muscle.

Don't knock the muscle, buddy.
Makes the girls go knocky in the knees.

If that's all you were, we couldn't
have gotten into that party.

You would've gotten in. The damage
would've been significantly higher.

Thanks to your
brains-over-brawn approach.

Not so much brains
as too many movies.

Man, they have done a number on you.
You believe this "I'm the muscle" crap.

- This your version of a pep talk?
- Could be. Need one?

- No.
- Good. Not my area of expertise.

So why do you stay,
if that's all they see in you?

I'm a fighter, born and raised.

You love being a thief?

I'm a freak.

Being a thief
makes me part of something...

...and not a part at the same time.

Tonight...

Yeah, kind of loved it.

You know, for someone loving life...

...you seemed awfully willing
to die for this.

What you saw tonight,
that's as bad as it gets.

But even at its best...

That thing might let me be...

Well, not normal, but...

Hold hands maybe.

So, yeah, guess I was willing to die,
or even...

- You wouldn't understand.
- Sure I do.

Brainy, remember?

You want to show
me how this thing works?

How you fire it up?

It's not an X-Box.
Just put it on.

Careful.

Ow.

Like I said.

It's chilly.

[HUMMING]

What's it doing?

You ever see one of those
body-snatcher movies?

Feel any different?

Yeah.

Not so much.

I think it worked.

It feels good.

So...

...if you couldn't touch...

...guess that means you've never...
- Nope.

Nope.

Anyway, um...

...thanks for turning me...

...off.

Anytime.

Thank you.

For what? The guards?

The suit?
The almost dying?

The most fun I've had...

...since...

You know, um...

That device, it's a prototype.
It might not hold.

Well, you've already killed me once.

If it happens again,
you know where my battery is.

[LORNE SINGING]

Angel.

Has Cordy been a bad, bad girl?

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