Angel (1999–2004): Season 3, Episode 11 - Birthday - full transcript

I'd just like to say thank you.

You believed in me
when no one else would.

In my darkest hours,
you were there for me...

...and that means more to me
than you'll ever know.

I guess what I'm really
trying to say is, I love you.

T o all my fans, this is for you!

Wow! That was just....

Wow. And with the tears....

I got chill bumps all up my arms.

Yep, that's the famous speech.

Not that I'll ever use it, of course.



Unless they start handing out
awards for best slime and grime.

Next time Angel decides
to blow something up...

... he's cleaning his own scorch marks.

GUNN:
Ladies, less yammer and more scrub.

My, Gunn...

...don't you look sterile.

Couple more hours sniffing
that cleanser, and I might be.

You wanna trade jobs?

Scrape up Wolfram and Hart's
entrails off floor. Fred?

You' re screwed.

-Wes back yet?
CORDELlA: Nope.

He's still picking up more
extra-strength ick remover.

ANGEL:
Look who's up from his nap.

Connor.



Whoa, whoa.
Dirty people not touching the baby.

But pig-drinking
bloodsuckers are okay?

I meant that in a nice way.
I'm washing my hands.

I get first dibs
on baby snuggles.

Don't forget to get under your
fingernails. Does she know?

Where is she?

[GROUP SlNGlNG "HAPPY BlRTHDAY"]

You guys,
I can't believe you did this.

Don't just stand there,
blow out the candles, girl.

GROUP:
Yeah!

-Did you make a wish?
-I did. Jude Law was busy?

How disappointing.

-Guess you won't be wanting presents--
-Oh, wanting. Wanting presents.

-Do you want to hold the baby now?
-Let me have him.

Thank you. Oh, honey.

I, uh....

I got you a little something.

You didn't have to.
You have enough to take care of.

Well, I'm a champion.
We do important stuff.

-Who's more important than--?
WESLEY: Forgive the wrapping.

Some of us seem to have
an addiction to tape.

What a cruel dilemma.
Presents or sweet little baby?

-T ake the baby.
-You choose gifts over my kid?

T ake the baby. T ake the baby!

[GROANS]

It's a teenager. A girl. She's....

[GlRL SCREAMS]

WESLEY:
Cordy!

FRED:
Is she all right?

-I'm fine, you guys.
ANGEL: Cordy?

I'll be okay. I'm just....

WESLEY: Can you hear me?
ANGEL: Is she breathing?

Dead?

Birthday

Oh, no.

ANGEL:
Take him.

Come on, Cordy, wake up.
It's all over.

-Come back to us.
CORDELlA: I haven't gone anywhere.

ANGEL: Wake up.
WESLEY: Is she--?

GROUP: No!
-I'm not?

ANGEL: Her heart's beating.
-Yes!

-But if I'm not dead--
-She's in a trance, or a coma.

-Like hell I am!
ANGEL: Let's get her to the couch.

-Easy. Easy
GUNN: All right.

Okay, I get it.

This is some kind of bizarre birthday
present you guys cooked up.

All right, joke's on me.
Now put me back in my body.

It was a vision, wasn't it?

She started saying something
about a girl and--

That's right. She's in a house
on Oak Street in Reseda.

It feels like we have
some time here, but....

You can't hear me at all, can you?

HOST: What's all the hubbub, bub?
CORDELlA: Lorne. Thank God.

If there's some weird other worldly
thing going on, you'd still be able to--

Oh, that's not good.
Did anybody else just see that?

-Jumping Judas, what happened?
-We know she had a vision.

There's a lot we don't know.
She dropped this.

Put that away.
That's not important.

FRED: Seltrax.
-Oh, God.

-What's Seltrax?
-Nothing.

It's a powerful migraine medication.

GUNN: We should get her to a hospital.
-So they can tell us there's no hope?

Angel's right. Seltrax is potent,
but it doesn't cause catatonia.

I'm picking up some hard-core
woo-woo vibes.

This ain't medical, kids.
It's mystical.

There's so much we don't know.

If she's taking a drug
this powerful in secret...

...the visions are more damaging
than she lets on.

-This one must've overloaded her.
-She'll come out of it.

-She will!
-lf it's a mystical problem...

-...there's a mystical solution.
-Great idea.

-Gunn and Fred, go to Cordy's place.
-No! Bad idea. Bad idea.

See if she's been hiding anything.
Wes?

WESLEY: I'll hit the books.
HOST: I'll take the peanut.

Does nobody care
that there is a girl in Reseda...

...that is about to be fed
to a no-eyed, three-mouth monster?

[WHlSPERlNG]

What?

Hello?

A message. I'll leave a message.

I think Phantom Dennis
expected the birthday girl.

Hi, there.

I know we haven't been
formally introduced.

I' m not sure how to introduce
myself to someone who's...

...you know, former. But, l' m Fred.

It's nice to meet you.

Fred, you are so cool.

I think we should tell him.

Okay.

You might wanna....

Do ghosts sit down?

Wesley. Wesley.

Wesley! Yoo-hoo!

But if she's in the astral plane, she
could be here, unable to communicate.

CORDELlA:
Yeah, here. Unable to communicate.

CORDELlA:
"Astral Projection. " I should read up.

Wait, don't turn--

-lt doesn't make any sense.
GUNN: What doesn't?

It's all...

...normal.

-And that's wrong?
-No.

What's wrong is you picking
through Cordy's personal...

...support things.

What, this?

Come on, you never hid anything
in your underwear drawer?

I don't know. I mean, for five years
I didn't even have--

Can we not talk about
my underwear, please?

And put that down.

If Cordy was taking
something like Seltrax...

...she'd have tried other stuff first.

But there's not even any aspirin
in here.

I think he's protecting her.

Phantom Dennis?

Listen, we would never ask you
to betray Cordelia...

... but we need to see whatever
she's been hiding--

Unless you so hype on the ghosting
life that you want her to join you.

FRED: You looked through the underwear
drawer first, didn't you?

The date on this prescription...

...it's from a year ago.

Cordy, look, I know you can't hear me,
but there's something I have to say.

You really piss me off, you know that?

I thought we trusted each other,
but you've been lying. MRls?

CAT scans?
It's been going on for over a year?

Why couldn't you let me in?
I could've helped you.

-God, you make me so furious.
CORDELlA: You're furious?

I get body-jacked on my birthday,
and you're the one that's furious?

HOST:
Knock-knock.

-How is she?
-The same.

-You ready?
HOST: As I'll ever be.

CORDELlA:
For what?

-What's he gonna do?
-I wish I'd brought my helmet.

Last time I got blown across the room.

Oh, God, please let this work.

Cordelia, are you there?

It's me, Lorne. I'm here.

-Cordelia?
-Yes!

1 71 Oak Street.

Can you hear me? Lorne?

-What?
-Cordelia's not in there.

-She's just gone.
-I'm standing right in front of you.

[WHlSPERlNG]

-Listen, I'm afraid.
-No. This isn't gonna happen.

I don't care how many favors
you call in or gods you cross.

You're connected to The Powers That
Be. Find me a way to talk to them.

Angel, honey, it's not that easy.

Contacting The Powers is a muddy,
not to mention dangerous, area.

But this is a bit much to ask.

I' m not asking.

[SNORES]

CORDELlA:
Finally!

Okay, Wes, let's hope your books
know what they're talking about.

[GROANS]

[WHlSPERlNG]

[CORDELlA SCREAMS]

Listen up, whatever you are!
You can't scare me.

WESLEY:
Angel. I just--

-Why are you on the floor?
-I had this dream that Cordy was here.

She was trying to tell me something.
Something important.

-Yes, and, and....
-It's weird.

How are you a champion?
In what way are you a champion?

Fred studied Cordy's CAT scans.
The news isn't good.

They show widespread
neuroelectrical deterioration.

-That's just a fancy way of saying--
-She's dying.

I think I like the fancy way better.

I' m working on the mystical aspect.

T rance states, astral projection,
spiritual possession.

But so far, I haven't been able to....

Why don't you take a break?
I'll watch her and Connor.

CORDELlA:
l' m not ready yet.

No.

Hey. How's it going?

You're....

You're Death?

You've come to take me.

Kidding. I'm Skip.

You're Cordelia Chase, right?
Sorry it took me so long-- This you?

Most people's spiritual shapes tend to
be an idealized version of themselves.

Straighten the nose, lose the gray.
Sort of a self-esteem kind of thing.

You' re pretty confident.

What is this? Who are you?
What the hell is going on?!

You got questions. I get that.

I'll answer them.
But we gotta get out of here.

But why? Here's good.
I feel comfortable here. I like here.

But you see, there's a slight problem.
You don't belong here anymore.

-Because I'm dead?
-Not yet.

But you will be, very soon.

Unless you come with me.

Well, I'll follow you
on one condition.

Tell my friends about
this vision that I had.

Sorry, no can do. I'm not a messenger,
I'm just a guide.

-I don't want to die.
-So don't.

FRED:
That's from eight months ago.

The red spots, or what
they call hot areas...

...are what you'd expect
from a healthy, functioning brain.

-This one is dated one month ago.
-Cordy's doctors couldn't explain it.

See, green is a cold color, usually
signifying dead areas of the cerebrum.

-Normally, you wouldn't see that--
-Unless the person was a cucumber.

How could we not know?

For the love of God,
somebody get me a Sea Breeze.

-Lorne, what happened?
-I can't really talk about it.

Then how we supposed to find them?

I mean, I can't talk about it.
They cast a spell.

I went down to the--
See?

-Did you get the information?
-Why, yes. My horn should grow back.

So kind of you to be concerned.

Well, they didn't say
I couldn't write it.

All kidding aside,
this isn't to be taken lightly.

Only a champion can deal with
the Conduit. Even then, you--

I'll keep that in mind.

Is this...?

-This is a mall.
SKlP: We figured you'd be comfortable.

CORDELlA: We?
-The Powers That Be.

The Powers That Be popped me out
of my body and sent me to a mall?

This is more a construct of a mall.
You know, like in The Matrix.

-You saw The Matrix?
-Love that flick.

When T rinity's all, " Dodge this, "
and the agent....

And l' m not really instilling
any awe anymore, am l?

Why did you bring me here?

T o give you a choice.
But we'll get to that later.

There's something I want you to see.

Oh, my God.

Doyle.

That's what happened.
Big, cosmic whoops.

Doyle wasn't meant
to give you visions.

-Then why did The Powers let him?
-They usually catch that sort of thing.

What they didn't count on
were his feelings for you.

You mean, Doyle gave me the visions
because he loved me?

I can't answer that.
I can tell you that it was a mistake.

I thought The Powers That Be
knew everything.

Life and death, they got a handle on.

Who someone chooses to love,
well, that's just free will.

You see, Cordelia, the visions
are an ancient powerful force.

Only demons can withstand them.

I've had them for more than two years.
Doesn't that mean l' m strong?

Strong, yes. Demon, no.
Just ask T ammy here.

-T ammy where?
-Hello, miss.

This is T ammy.
She had the visions back in-- 1 630?

Aye. Had them well nigh on a year.
And a hellish year it was too.

T own fathers called me a witch.
Wanted to burn me at the stake.

-They killed you because you had visions?
-No, miss. They didn't have to.

Last vision I had blew out
the back of me skull.

Humans wasn't meant
to have the visions.

If you want my advice,
you'll listen to our man Skip here.

-He won't steer you wrong, this one.
-Oh, get out of here.

Really. Get out. I've got work.

You okay?

[WHlSPERlNG]

[ANGEL SCREAMS]

ANGEL:
Thanks, Lorne.

VOlCES: It is come. The champion
has come. Come for what?

Answers not to be had.
Death is certain.

Death awaits.

-I wanna talk to the Conduit.
- We are the Conduit.

The gateway, the all-times, the ever.
It wishes to speak to us.

Yes, it does.
You gonna show yourselves?

We are unseen, formless.
It speaks unknowing. Send it away.

I' m not going anywhere till I get my
message to The Powers That Be.

My friend Cordelia has visions
given to her by The Powers.

They' re killing her. I want The Powers
to take them back.

Let her go. She's suffered enough.

Suffering.

Does it know suffering?

Yes, it does.

The Powers owe nothing.
Send it away. Send it away.

I' m not finished.

SKlP: Ever had the vague sensation
you left the oven on?

Or that you were supposed to call
someone, you just forgot who?

Have you ever felt that way
about your acting career?

-I don't have an acting career.
-Which brings me to my next point.

I remember that night.

SKlP: You'd been in L.A. a few months,
things were lean...

...and who should you run into?

Your life changed that night,
in ways you couldn't imagine.

Indescribably painful ways,
you'll agree.

Now, what if the play
ran a little different?

You're on the sideline, here,
talking to wannabe moguls.

Angel is downfield here. Instead of
cutting to the middle to meet him...

...what if you'd been
forced to counter?

What if this guy,
a very powerful talent agent...

...flanks you and drew you offsides?
What would happen?

-I'd score a touchdown?
-Metaphorically speaking, heck yeah.

Inside every living thing there is
a connection to The Powers That Be.

Call it instinct, intuition.

Deep down, we all know
our purpose in this world.

Are you saying I was meant
to be an actress?

No. I' m saying you were meant to be an
incredibly famous and wealthy actress.

-The Powers That Be can make it happen.
-They can turn back time?

They don't go for that much.
Think of it as writing over history.

You could live the life
you've always wanted.

No monsters, no visions, no dying.
Well, not for a long time, anyway.

But no Angel.

Cordelia, I want you to listen to me.

If you go back inside your body,
you won't wake up.

You will lie there, unable to move,
unable to speak...

...until the next vision hits you
and then you will die.

But that's not fair.

How will Angel know to save that
girl if I don't tell him where she is?

He needs me.

Let's go in here.

VOlCES: Its pleas are pointless. Her
path is chosen. We will not interfere.

She's not strong enough
to handle the visions.

-It speaks and does not listen.
-No, you' re not listening!

Cordelia's not a champion. She's a
rich girl who likes to play superhero.

She doesn't have what it takes
to do this. Don't The Powers get that?

Stop whispering and listen to me,
damn it! She's weak.

Skip, get me out of here, now.

You're killing her.

She's unconscious, and she's alone.
Who knows if she's in pain?

It is angry. It is afraid.

I'm more afraid of her dying
than she is.

What is that?

Cordelia, are you sure?

You gave me a choice,
so l' m choosing.

Okay, kid, here goes.
I' m gonna make you a star.

ANNOUNCER:
And now, ladies and gentlemen...

... the two-time Emmy-winning
star of our show...

... the gal with the million-dollar
smile, Cordelia Chase!

[CROWD CHEERlNG]

CORDELlA:
One, two, three, four.

MAN: Great show, Cordy.
-Thanks.

There are stars and there are stars,
then there is you.

Am I paying you enough?

-Well--
-Good. What's cooking?

You got a costume fitting.
Producers want to run ideas by you.

Hi. What's your name?

We wanna record that breast
cancer PSA next week.

No, make it tomorrow.
Do you ever get that feeling...

...you should be doing something,
but you can't remember what?

No. I' m organized.
That's why you pay me well.

-But with the holidays coming--
-I have to go, I'm sorry.

I want something.
Hypo-something.... Hypothermia....

Get ice water in Miss Chase's
dressing room.

-That's not it.
-Canceling.

-Hyper.... Hyperbaric?
-Josh, make it an oxygen tent.

-That's not it.
-Canceling.

-Hyperion! That's it.
-The hotel.

-I want to go there.
-Terrific. When would--? Now?

Without an entourage of me?

I'll call them.
Josh, car, side door, now.

-Hi. Excuse me.
-Yes? Can we help--?

Oh, Miss Chase. How can you help me?
How can I help--? Wait.

How can we help you?

I believe my assistant
made a reservation.

Ah, the luxury suite.

I will take you right up to my room.

Your room, I meant.

Welcome to the Hyperion.

Here we are, Miss Chase.

The luxury suite.

No.

This one.

I want this one.

But that's a....
That's a standard, Miss Chase.

-Hardly fitting for someone of your--
-Open it.

Yes, certainly.

-This wallpaper...?
-Ah, yes.

Designed by renowned artist
Jacques Latour.

Remodeling-- Yes, uh....

I hate that wallpaper.
That's bad, bad wallpaper.

1 71 Oak.

Where is that?

Oh, hi.
I'm really sorry to bother you--

Oh, my God.
You're Cordelia Chase.

-Oh....
-You're.... Cordy.

Yeah, hi.

Listen, I know you don't know me,
but would you mind if l...?

-Oh, please, come in.
-Okay, thanks.

I'm Cynthia. Cynthia York.

And I love your show.
Like, love-love.

You are just-- You are my idol, Cordy.

I want to be just like you,
and have my own design firm, and--

Wait a second.
What are you doing in Reseda?

Yeah. Good question.

This is gonna sound a little bizarre,
but is everything okay here?

Nothing bad's happened, has it?

-My dad left us a couple months ago.
-Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Is your mom here?

-She's up in Ojai, visiting friends.
-Oh.

Well....

That's....

Well, okay, then.

CYNTHlA:
Hey.

You wanna see something cool?

Sure.

CYNTHlA:
It's a retrieval spell.

I'm gonna make my dad come back
and live with us again.

I'm pretty sure
I did everything right...

...though I spilled Diet Coke on the
book I was using and had to improvise.

Pretty cool pentagram, huh?

CORDELlA:
Cynthia?

I think we should
get out of here before--

[GROWLS]

-That happens.
-Oh, my God!

Go, Cynthia!
Go on, get out of here. Go!

-Get the girl.
GUNN: Let's go.

Outside.

What are you doing here,
and what happened to your arm?

Look out.

So you, like, kill things now.

Last time I saw you, you just
kind of fainted in front of them.

Cordelia, why on earth are you here?

I know, Reseda.
It's the ninth circle of hell--

Not Reseda. In this house.
Is that girl a friend of yours?

Look, I know we haven't seen
each other in a while.

But there is something weird
going on with me.

Like, Sunnydale weird.

[DOOR OPENS]

CYNTHlA:
Oh, my God.

My mom is gonna freak.

CORDELlA: And underneath
the wallpaper was this address.

So for absolutely no sane-person
reason I can think of...

...I come out here, and whammo,
slimy-monster-fun time.

-What's up with that?
-I'm not sure.

-I'll have to consult my books.
-Some things never change.

[GUNN CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, sorry.
This is my partner, Charles Gunn.

Wes said he knew you,
but I didn't believe him.

Yeah, we go way back.

Back to when you had two arms.
Which, by the way....

-Kungai demon, couple years ago.
-ls it true you and Wes--?

That you had a little--

Humiliating kiss where he drooled
all over my chin?

Yeah. But I've worked really hard
to repress it.

As much as I enjoy this death march
down memory lane....

What's with you Sunnydale
folks and repression?

You three are the most
denying-est folks.

Three?

Who else is here in L.A.?

Cordelia, I want you
to think about this.

Angel's not the person you knew.

He came to Los Angeles in pain,
vulnerable.

And when Doyle, his only friend, died,
he retreated into himself.

Him getting the visions
didn't help either.

So let me get this straight.

Angel gets the visions
of people who are gonna die...

... he tells you,
you go out and slay...

...and this is how
you make your living?

This has gotta be the suckiest
job in the world.

Pays the bills. Occasionally.

WESLEY:
Don't be shocked by his condition.

The visions have taken a toll.
And the isolation.

Sometimes he sends us out to save
people he killed 200 years ago.

-Why not just tell him you said hi?
-Wesley...

... I've gotta see him.

Restraints. Sometimes the visions
make him violent.

ANGEL:
1 71 Oak.... 1 71 Oak Drive.

Do you hear me? I feel better.
I can be alone. I won't run away.

-Oh, my God.
-This is one of his good days.

No, I won't. I won't do that.

I didn't mean--
Only if it's dead.

It was me. It was my fault. I'm okay.

-I didn't mean, I didn't mean....
-Don't get too close.

ANGEL: I won't run away.
-Angel.

Do you remember me?
Cordelia?

ANGEL:
No. I'm afraid.

I'm afraid, I'm afraid.

CORDELlA: Shh.... Don't be afraid.
I won't hurt you.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

1 71. 1 71. You'll see.

My head doesn't hurt.

My head doesn't hurt now anymore....

-You don't remember me.
-I was there, and I wanted to die.

But I was afraid to die.
I was afraid to die.

1 71. 1 71. 1 71.

-1 71.
-Shh....

Angel, it's okay.
Everything is gonna be okay.

-There was nothing I could do.
-Everything's gonna be okay.

I remember everything.

The visions...

-...they're mine.
-We made a deal.

You gave up the visions,
and the death that goes with them...

...and you get to live out your dream.
It was a fair trade.

Sure, it's fair. But it wasn't me.

We've been over this.

I respect what you're trying to do.

It's noble and heroic,
and all that Gladiator crap.

-You saw--?
-Didn't love it.

Humans are not strong enough
to harbor the visions, period.

-Even The Powers can't change that.
-Then find a loophole, Skip.

I know my purpose in this world,
and it includes the visions.

And if The Powers That Be aren't
complete dumb-asses, they know it too.

There may be a tiny loophole.

-I'll take it.
-You may want to think about that.

The only way you get to keep the
visions is by becoming part demon.

The process isn't easy. It'll make your
vision pain feel like Candyland.

After the agony, the transformation's
effects would be unpredictable.

You may never be able to lead
a human life again.

So? Demonize me, already.

It was an honor being your guide,
Cordelia Chase.

[SCREAMS]

What's happening to her?

-I thought I lost you.
-Oh, Angel.

No horns.

No tail.

Just checking.

It feels so good to be solid again.

-What's the last thing you remember?
-When? I've been so--

Oh.

You mean the vision downstairs.
It's been taken care of.

There was this actress,
and a one-armed guy....

It's a long story, but right now
we have to solve my vision.

-The one you said was taken care of?
-The one l' m having.

There's a young man in a park in
Glendale, somewhere near a pond.

There's a demon waiting for him,
he's red...

...with four-- No, make it five horns.

-Uh.... Cordy?
-What?

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[ENGLlSH SDH]