Angel (1999–2004): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Shroud of Rahmon - full transcript

Previously on Angel:
- What are you? - You already know.
I'm glad we're not friends.
Don't blame me for everything you can't handle.
They brought Darla back.
This is no life, Angel.
My boy's still in there, and he wants out.
This creep knows what happened. He's playing us.
Might be.
He's got mental problems.
I don't care about that. We got one body already.
- And if she dies? - If she dies, he's all yours.
We can help you. Tell us what you know...
...and we'll send you back to holding.
You stay quiet, my partner dents your skull.
Hey, you listening?
I think you got involved in something bigger than you expected.
You got scared, panicked and an officer ended up on the floor.
Not to mention the body without a head.
- Do yourself-- - She shouldn't have been there.
She didn't know.
He didn't know what he was getting into.
None of them did. If they'd known, they--
You didn't bring it here, did you?
No.
No, then it'd be too late for all of us.
He grabbed her hard.
Very hard.
I'm quite good with the ladies myself.
Just tell us what happened.
It all went horribly wrong.
None of us knew the effect it would have until it was too late.
I tried to stop him...
...but I got hit and fell.
And when I looked up, he had her.
He was holding her.
Then she was on the floor.
If we'd found out sooner, I would have stopped him. I would have.
Stopped who?
He should never have been there.
Of all people, he should never--
You don't tell him what to do. He's the boss.
The boss?
He helps people, you know.
When he's not in trouble himself. Cordy and I tried to get him out.
She was with me.
Oh, God....
Cordelia.
- Your head. - Excuse me?
Your hair.
It's new.
It's great!
- When did this happen? - Ten days ago.
Of course. I didn't want to embarrass you by--
Noticing?
- Nice suit. - I was just on my way out to--
Yet another glamorous celebrity-filled gala with Miss Virginia Bryce?
We should check on Angel. He doesn't seem to do much lately.
Au contraire, His day is packed.
Brood about Darla, brood about Darla...
...lunch, followed by Darla-brooding.
Right. Enough is enough. I'm gonna march up there and tell him just that.
- Nice posturing. - Thank you.
He's not there. Gunn's cousin is involved in something big.
Big, meaning illegal. Angel and Gunn went to help.
That's good. He's getting out. Something I'm gonna do myself.
Traipsing off to your shallow, soul-sucking party?
Premiere, actually. And I happen to have an extra ticket.
Who does shallow better than me?
- He cool, right? - He's cool.
I'm not prejudiced. I just hate vampires.
- You're enlightened. I can tell. - See how they do?
They mess with your mind. That's why I called you--
You got a vampire problem, Angel has experience in that area.
Yo, spill it. We ain't got all night.
I sort of said I'd take this job driving for this big-time crew.
E.J. vouched for me, but now I'm thinking--
- You don't like prison. - Yeah.
And they're bringing in this psycho vampire from Vegas.
- And like I said, man-- - What's the job?
Taking off some museum. Don't know which.
- What are they after? - Something big. Supernatural.
It's going down this week, but I'm meeting the boss tonight.
And if I don't show, I'll be hunted down and killed.
Where's the meet?
- Psycho vampire got a name? - Yeah.
E.J. said it. It's something like Jee-Don...
- ...or Joe-Don or-- - Jay-Don.
That's it. He's coming in for the meeting.
They're picking him up.
- Where? - Downtown bus, midnight.
- Hey, what am I gonna do? - Take the meeting.
- I'll get you out before it goes down. - I owe you bigtime, cuz.
Thank you, man. Nice to meet you.
- So you know this Jay-Don? - I know of him.
He's a player and way dangerous.
- I'll take it from here. - You'll what?
This is my cousin's life.
Which is why I don't want you in with guns a-blazing.
- You're giving me orders? - I'm paying you.
I brought it to you.
If I can't shut it down, I'll protect him.
- I should sit home and knit? - I could use a sweater.
Something dark.
Darla?
You expecting her? Because that would cut down on my legwork.
- What are you doing here? - She was involved in a little murder.
Remember? A guy's throat got ripped out.
I'm sure you'll tell me she's innocent.
Maybe not.
Don't suppose you'd testify in a sunny court of law.
Don't suppose you got a search warrant.
Oh, I knew I forgot something.
Darla's not here. I don't know where she is.
I will find her, Angel. And when I do, she's toast.
- She's human now, remember? - Toast with life in prison.
Kate, there are forces at work here that you know nothing about.
- Gathering storm? - Don't get caught.
- You afraid I'll get hurt? - I'm afraid you'd get killed.
I'm saying this so you won't.
Me dead. I guess I'd kind of be like you then, wouldn't I?
I won't stand by while you two finish the game.
Let's try this one more time.
You come between us, it'll be your last move.
Let go of me.
Really, the stain's hardly noticeable.
Cordelia, what happened?
It's not blood, it's cocktail sauce. Courtesy of Mr. Star-Schmoozer here.
I mean to your head.
Your hair.
Well, it looks great.
- When did this happen? - Ten days ago. Pay attention.
- Why doesn't anyone tell me this stuff? - We had a little mishap.
With the little shrimp and the sauce.
- And her dress. - You were at a party?
You know, party, soiree, night of the thousand humiliations.
I spilled it on her in front of Mr. Fat Chow-Chow.
Chow Yun-Fat.
What, you met Chow Yun-Fat?
- How'd it go with Gunn's cousin? - Fine. A group of-- Cordelia?
Listening.
A group of thieves is planning to heist a local museum.
Probably something with mystical power.
- Do you know which museum? - No. Gunn's cousin is just the driver.
We should research museums with recent acquisitions.
This is wonderful. You're on a case.
You're back.
It'll be just like old times.
Meeting Evil face-to-face, kicking Evil's booty.
Wes and I will crank up the research machine, and you'll--
What'll you do?
They're bringing Jay-Don in from Vegas. If he's involved, it's big.
- I've heard of him. Isn't he a-- - Deadly killer?
Well, that. I was about to say a loud, flashy character.
He ran with Sinatra's Rat Pack. Never got over it.
- I think I'll meet his bus. - And take his place? Great plan, boss!
What better way to get your mind off things we don't even need to--
- How loud and flashy? - I believe he's quite the extrovert.
- What? - Well, I'm sure you can pull it off.
You're...colorful.
This is such an honor. Hi. I'm a big fan.
When the boss said that Jay-Don was coming in, I was like, wow!
- Can I see the glasses? - No touching them or the hair, doll.
Yeah, right, doll. You got it. That's cool.
I'm supposed to ask you something. What is it?
Oh, God, what is it?
Oh, yeah.
- What's the password? - There is no password.
Just checking.
- Jay-Don? - You think I'm traveling in luggage?
How you doing?
You look sharp. That plastic surgeon, he give you the big rebate?
- Let's go. Car's over here. - The trip was faboo.
I love flying coach. And what is that piece of junk?
- You're funny, vampire. - Whoa. We need to talk, bro.
Two things bringing in the chicks: the 'do and the ride.
Get in.
I hope I don't see anybody I know.
He's got him.
- Vampires wig me. - You feel like a meal?
You must be Bob, the security guard.
- And you're a great big monster. - This is Jay-Don.
- He talks too much. - I'm a people person.
- Great shirt. Ed's Big and Spiny? - You're funny.
- You'll be funnier dead. - Funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?
- Shut up, all of you. - I wasn't talking.
- Where's Lester? - Yeah. We can't do it without him.
- Who's Lester? - The driver.
- He should've already been here. - He's E.J.'s guy. He'll show.
I hate waiting.
You got anybody to eat around here?
Finally.
What kind of name is Lester anyway? Norwegian? Finnish?
- What took you so long? - What took me so long is I'm a pro.
I cased the area, made sure no cops followed me.
Looks like I'm the last one at the party.
- I said I'd handle it. - I don't take orders.
- Something wrong? - Depends.
Do we all gotta wear these ugly-ass shirts?
Because I got my pride.
So, what we looking for?
The Shroud of Rahmon. It's worth about two million on the black market.
- Do you want to pay attention now? - You got my undivided.
Bob turns off the alarm at 2:40.
We enter, take this hall to the elevator, where we meet Bob at 2:45...
...and we all go down together.
This is the vault where they keep it.
The vault has a lock code.
That means we have to blow it. Now, the door has no alarm...
...but the vault itself has its own system, a thermal sensor.
- Body heat sets it off. - That's where I come in.
No body heat. Goes with the no soul thing.
Jay-Don enters, goes to the control box in the back, disarms it.
- We're in. - How big is the case?
Big.
It's made of consecrated wood with gold edges and a lead-lined interior.
It weighs about a ton. It's going to take all of us just to lift it.
I can handle my end. I'm not so sure about him.
- I can handle my side. - With a forklift.
- You want a piece of me? - Take it easy.
He's a troublemaker. I know a Majnu demon...
...professional driver, never talks.
And I know a vampire better shut up.
Guys, I apologize. This is something I should just...
...take outside!
- I got a problem with that. - So do I.
I gotta spend the rest of the week with him?
No. Just the rest of the night.
- No waiting. We do this now. - Tonight?
And no one leaves my sight until it's over.
Anybody tries, they get a bullet from me or a stake from him.
Museums, museums. Okay, we've got the MOCA.
We've got the LACMA. Ooh, the Gene Autry!
Well, it could be a magical stuffed horse.
Let's assume not and try Natural History.
Okay, here we go. Site map, membership, museum shop....
Don't they have a "Things to Steal" section?
Click on Recent Acquisitions. There.
I've got it. Backseat surfer.
- Where's Angel? - Could be a long meeting.
- Could it be chelicerae arthropods? - Keep going.
Wait. "On the 3rd of this month...
...the museum received the Shroud of Rahmon...
...from a tomb unearthed by New Mexico archaeologists."
Okay, two words I don't like: tomb and unearthed.
- People, leave your tombs earthed. - Have you ever heard of it?
I don't like shrouds. They're an after-you-die outfit.
Get all you can from the database. I'll hit the books.
The driver should stay here in case someone--
We need him inside.
- Don't hit me again. - I was protecting you.
I appreciate that.
Don't do it again.
We have one minute before Earl makes his rounds.
You don't have to hit him hard.
They got me, Earl!
You kill him, the cops will be all over us. We gotta do this clean.
Tape him.
Let's go.
Come on. Come on, hurry up and blow it!
He's a guard at the Museum of Natural History.
Robert Skale. He has a record. Small-timer.
This one may be M. James Menlo. He likes to crack bank vaults.
Our guess is they're pulling a heist at the museum.
Then we picked up this one tonight.
Carlson said you knew him.
It's not within our investigation, but Carlson said you'd be interested.
I'm interested.
You're taking too long!
Spine-Man, chill. This is nitro. I don't want our body parts mixed up.
- We should've been in there by now. - Shut up!
Allow me.
The shroud was woven by the head priest, driven mad by the demon.
Once Rahmon was defeated, the shroud was dyed...
...with the blood of seven virgins, sacrificed on the full moon...
...then laid upon Rahmon, to prevent his resurrection.
Why is it always virgin women who are sacrificed?
- For purity. - It has nothing to do with purity.
It's about dominance.
If someone ordered a male body part for religious sacrifice...
...the world would be atheist, like that.
The shroud supposedly absorbed Rahmon's power.
So he who has the shroud has the power.
You said Rahmon was a drive-you-mad kind of fella?
Ooh.
I hate it when you do that.
In 1803, the shroud was removed from its casing.
- And yuckiness ensued? - Yes.
All of El Encanto went insane.
Mothers and children hacking each other, men roaming like rabid dogs--
I get the picture.
In order to take his mind off the torment that is Darla...
...we sent Angel after a box that makes you crazy.
We'll warn Angel before they steal the shroud.
Just as soon as he comes back.
Unless, of course, they're stealing it right now.
The shroud's gonna make us rich. I can feel it.
You feel it? This is gonna be amazing.
How's it going in there? Is everything all right?
Everything's fine.
- I feel something weird in here. - Humans always gotta feel something.
They always gotta tell you, "I'm so happy.
I'm so sad. I'm so scared." It makes me sick.
I like it when they're scared. It makes them taste salty.
I ask for your opinion, you overgrown leech?
- Altoids, aisle four. - We don't have time for this.
- Let's get it and go. - When they gonna make pretty demons?
On the count of three.
- One. - You about to turn or something?
No.
- Two. - You look like it.
- Lift, Lester. - Don't order me, Elvis.
Three!
So it is tonight. They must be somewhere...
...inside.
Sorry, I'm feeling a little....
Me too. I think it's the altitude.
Right. The altitude here at sea level.
- Let's not lose focus. - Maybe we should split up.
- Too dangerous. Let's stick together. - Right.
Lockley requesting backup.
Possible 459 in progress at the Museum of Natural History.
- Hold up your corner. - Who made you corner monitor?
- You gonna get married? - Same old story.
Pushy vampires, think the world is theirs.
- They can have it. - I visited Topkapi once.
Always taking. Your blood, your sister.
- Somebody shut that human up! - Wanna take somebody?
- Try taking me! - It's slipping!
- Don't drop it! - Hold it, hold it!
Oops.
I hate this vampires-killed-my-sister song.
Don't you know anything else?
- Get your hands off my throat. - You gonna play nice?
- I'm cool. - We can't leave it. We must move it.
Someone else will come along. Move it!
Kill the human! Kill it!
Case.
All righty, pardners, it's roping time!
I'll play the defenseless calf. Who gets to be the cowboy?
Tightly, so it looks real. I'm not the bad guy, I'm the good guy.
I'm the good guy. No, wait. The bad guy.
- Pick it up. - Wait. You gotta hit me.
Somebody's gotta hit me. Man, you gotta hit me.
Do it. Make it real.
Looks real to me.
Where's Angel?
Angel?
Right. That's why I'm here. To warn Angel about...
...something...
...important.
Your hair.
- To warn Angel about my hair? - It's blond.
The shroud.
He's got to know about the shroud. It makes everyone act differently.
My teeth are so big.
I...
...am...
...pleasant.
We must hurry before it's too late.
I noticed your hair right away.
Oh.
Hello, plastic person.
You're all by your lonesome in here.
So....
I guess you won't be needing this.
- We left fingerprints! - What?
- They'll find us! - Forget him. Keep going.
No fingerprints!
I gotta put it down. I gotta put it down.
- Humans! Good for nothing! - Keep going.
I can't, I can't. My head. It's full of flies.
- Get away from it! - I don't need any of you.
What's wrong now, son? Tired? Got a little backache?
A little toothache?
- What? - Angel, thank God I found you...
- ...in time. Is it in time? - Wesley?
Yes! I had a message for you. And the message was....
The shroud! The shroud, very dangerous.
It makes people bad, although it's amazing how good I feel.
- Get out. - Is that Gunn? What's he doing here?
- I never thought him a museum type. - Police! Nobody move!
Wow!
Look at you, rushing in here all by yourself.
- You're the best cop ever. - Too many humans.
- Excuse me, this is my girl. - Stay back.
Okay.
You got me. My life of crime is over.
I'm going down. But first, a little impression.
"I protect the innocent...
...rain on everyone's parade, obsess about my dad's death...
...and bother people who steal things!"
Angel.
Oh, Katie, what are you so afraid of?
Is it this?
Is it the part where I kill you? I love that in a woman.
Don't move! Police!
- Oh, I didn't-- - Don't move. Stay where you are.
- Oh, my God. - Kate. Come on, wake up.
- We got an officer down. - What's your 20?
You drank her.
Animal! You drank that cop.
- What now? - Open it.
Good thing we didn't do that in the museum and miss out on the lifting.
Open it! There's a catch.
That works too.
I got it. I got it!
No! No!
You don't know what this means, what it's about.
It belongs to my people. My people!
I didn't see any of your people when we was hauling it.
Fellas, fellas.
Cool your jets, okay. There's plenty here for all of...
...me.
How's it work? The one with the biggest piece gets a wish?
- Don't hurt it. - What about you?
- You want it? - I get it, I kill you.
Tell your wish, because it won't come true.
It's mine!
Got it! Got it! Got it!
Wait, wait. Gunn, I remember. You have to trust me.
I know what to do with this.
I think.
- You want us to believe a magic sheet-- - A shroud! A shroud.
Right, right.
It turns people into superstrong lunatics?
So one ripped the head off a guard...
...and another viciously attacked Detective Lockley.
- That it? - I know how it sounds.
I really don't think you do.
- What are you doing? - Arresting you.
For the murder of the guard and the attempted--
Let him go.
Stay down or they'll kill you.
I don't think he's coming down.
Mm.
I don't think recent events did him much good.
Again, a hearty "mm."
We had every good intention, of course.
Right. Sending him into the path of a crazy-making...
...one-way ticket to Eviltown death cloth. Good plan.
I'm not as worried about the shroud's effects as--
What?
My stealing? I returned everything, I swear.
Angel drank human blood from a living person.
He hasn't done that in a long time.
So on top of everything else, we may have reawakened his bloodlust?
Yes.
- Full day's work, then. - I think so.
Thank you,