Angel (1999–2004): Season 2, Episode 6 - Guise Will Be Guise - full transcript

Previously on Angel:
So Wolfram & Hart brought you back.
- What's the plan? - We want him dark, not dead.
- Stop. - You stop. God doesn't want you.
But I still do.
Hello.
Didn't hear you come in. How can I help you?
Where is he?
Angel? He's out at the moment. Is there something I can do?
- I'm his associate. - Tell me where he is. It's urgent.
We specialize in urgent. Life and death?
I need someone with his special abilities.
I understand perfectly. Why don't you fill me in--
What about you? You got any special abilities?
A few, I dare say.
- You a creature of the night? - No.
I was a rogue demon hunter...
...so I can handle myself when things get rough.
Yeah, you're scary.
He'll be back soon.
If your boss wants to run a business...
...he shouldn't foist clients off on his secretary.
That's "associate."
What are you doing?
Knocking things over, driving away business. The usual.
I found him, and we have to stop him. We have to change--
You have any clothes a man would wear?
Don't make eye contact. Keep going.
- What are you doing? - Risking our lives.
- How'd you get in? - The door.
- They let you in? - Hello. Lawyer.
- You're not going up there. - I need to. I have to find her.
- Still Darla. - You encourage him?
I'm just going along for the ride.
They have vampire detectors.
We know. He's got a plan.
- Plan? - Get there before I'm stopped.
That's the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?
Angel, you're insane, and angry...
...and insane. You need help.
I'm not insane or angry.
Man, that's nasty.
Maybe I am a little angry.
Maybe?
Okay, what I wanna know is...
...how did I not know about this weird stuff?
It's weirder than you think.
The host, the one talking to Angel...
...he helps demons. Reads their souls, senses their futures.
But he can only do it when they sing karaoke.
I thought maybe I'd seen you walk away for the last time. You okay?
Yeah.
Once more, with less feeling.
I guess I'm a little, um...
...rocky.
And Rocky II and half of the one with Mr.T. Tell me about it.
I just--
I feel this--
Like I have to do something...
...and if I don't, I'll explode.
Then, when I do something, it feels, uh....
I think maybe this...
...this is it.
I'll sing if I have to.
Wait, are you saying--? Is he gonna sing?
Oh, God, is Angel gonna sing?
You don't have to. A break for you, for me...
...and for Mr. Manilow.
Okay. If you're sure.
Poor Angelito. Here.
- What's this? - A friend in Ojai.
Even though, does he ever call? Write? Good guy, though.
Ever hear of T'ish Magev?
Ramone. I was just thinking I'd rather be drinking.
He is a treasure.
T'ish Magev? He's like a swami, right?
Very powerful? And this is his address.
I'm sending you to him. You need more than I can do.
Shock your chakras, filet your soul, whatever you need.
Go to him.
Lovely! That was Cher-iffic boys!
- We're going. I don't have to sing. - Oh, thank God!
For your sake. I know you don't like to.
He'll be back soon,
This swami guy sounds magic.
Probably do a spell and zap this obsession right out of Angel.
Intriguing notion. Psychiatry through magic.
Instant cures for phobias, compulsions, identity crises.
Hey, look at me! I'm Angel.
He doesn't spin so much.
Right! This is Angel.
"I can't do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins...
...then alphabetize them. By the way, I'm thinking of snapping on Friday."
I love Angel and everything...
...but I'm so glad he's headed the other way.
Yeah?
- I'm looking for the T'ish Magev. - Found him.
Really? You're the swami?
- You the vampire with the soul? - Yeah.
In or out? You're letting in the bugs.
- Where's Angel? - He's not here.
- You're lying. Give me Angel. - I can't. Let go!
It's about time you--
My boss needs your boss, so I can't leave without Angel.
Get him, or I'll blow your head off.
No! No, I.... I can't.
- I don't know where he is, I swear. - That's too bad.
Wait! Wait! I can--
Please!
I'm Angel.
You looking for me?
Nice ride.
- Sorry? - The car. Very slick.
Thanks.
What kind of mileage you get?
I don't know, 12 in the city.
Gas hog.
Probably a chick magnet, right?
What?
No.
If you say so.
I'm here to talk about my problems.
That car is your problem. Says everything.
The car?
- In L.A. it's all about your car. - I don't think--
A vampire, living in a city known for its sun, driving a convertible.
- Why do you hate yourself? - I don't. I got a deal.
A deal? Why not a license plate that says "Irony"?
Top goes up.
Appearances. Very important to you.
- That's not true. - Sure it is.
You put your eternal life at risk...
- ...whenever you get in that thing. - It's just a car.
Why the layers of black?
It's about 80 degrees in the shade lately.
I don't have a body temperature, so--
So it's for the look.
No. This way, I don't have to worry about matching.
- I have no reflection-- - You do.
I do?
You're reflected in the people around you. The way they see you.
What do you think they see?
That-- That-- That won't kill me.
Fine. Let's go.
- Follow me. - You expect me to follow?
I don't see why I should.
You know the gun won't kill me.
What's it gonna do to her?
- Come on. - Yes, all right.
But I shan't be cooperative.
I invite you in.
Thank you. Considerate.
You say it was my intention.
Obviously someone gives your drivers their instructions.
And your drivers? A little overreaction.
Never know what that will lead to.
It's good we got together. Cleared it up, no misunderstandings.
I think you understand perfectly, Paul.
This is Angel.
Angel. Sorry to make you wait. Business thing.
Come on in.
I'm pleased to meet you, Angel. My name is Magnus Bryce.
Benny, get him a drink.
I know who you are. I read the papers.
This isn't the way to get my cooperation.
- Your man abducted me. - I understand, but I'm desperate.
You help people. I need help.
Protection for someone very dear to me.
Relax and let me explain.
Cheers.
Blood?
I don't usually drink in front of humans.
Don't insult me. Go on.
It's fresh.
Dear God!
That's...
...nummy.
The cable network is all a front. The family money is from wizardry.
My great-grandfather created our first spell, a tallness illusion.
Now it's all custom-design work for people with the right money.
Really?
See someone with looks and talent...
...chances are we provided one of them.
The goddess Yeska doesn't give with both hands.
Not a nice business. I have a lot of enemies.
Like the man in the hall?
Paul Lanier?
His firm's in wish-granting. Euro-creep. And there are others.
- Lanier's threatening you? - Someone...
...is threatening my daughter.
My only family.
Maybe it's Briggs at Consolidated Curses.
There are letters, calls. We've caught intruders in the house.
You're a powerful wizard. You must know protection spells.
These guys are in the business. They know the tricks.
- You want me to say I'll protect her. - No.
You don't get to say anything.
I'm gonna pay you a lot of money.
You'll do it and get paid.
And we'll both be very happy.
There are two "you's,"
Two me's?
The image you've worked to create, and the real you.
- Maybe my persona is a little affected. - A little affected? Come on.
Do many warriors slated for the apocalypse use hair gel?
You're fighting ultimate evil...
...you want something with hold.
But can you triumph over darkness if you're fighting yourself?
- You think I fight myself? - Let's see.
Honey, we have a guest.
Oh, look. The vampire's here.
Yes. Hello.
Daddy can send out for about anything.
Virginia, Angel's gone out of his way to help us.
He has not. You probably brought him at gunpoint.
What? What's wrong?
- Cover that mirror! - Why?
Do it!
I'm terribly sorry. It's just strategy.
If the attack were to happen here--
If I were to fight here, I wouldn't want my opponents...
...to know too soon what I really am.
Good man.
Great. He's gonna let kidnappers into my room.
May I speak to Virginia alone?
I'll be right outside.
You were right. I didn't want to be here.
- He thinks he owns everyone. - But there are threats.
You need to be protected.
Lots of books. Must spend time in here.
There have been many threats. Each new one, I buy a bookshelf.
Virginia, we're both stuck here. So it seems to me...
...I may as well do what he wants me to do and protect you.
Think you're the vampire for the job?
Well, I want to try.
You gonna fight me?
Let's go shopping.
What?
Wouldn't you rather wait till morning...
...when I can't leave the house?
Yes, as your bodyguard, I insist we go at once.
We're going shopping.
- At gunpoint? - Yes. The point of a gun.
He walked Wesley right out of here.
And this "I'm Angel" thing is a very bad idea.
If I thought it would work, I could have been Angel.
- It's a girlie name. - Where'd they go?
- I tried to follow but lost them. - What's the plan?
You go get Angel from the swami place, I track down Wesley.
The guy was pretty distinctive. Maybe he has a criminal record.
Mug shots!
It'll take me a while to find this place.
Gunn, this thug guy is bad news.
I hate to think where Wesley is.
I say, this place is extraordinary.
Wizard supplies.
It's a little exposed though, isn't it?
Are you really safe here?
You tell me.
Oh, yes.
My job, exactly.
To make it safe.
I shall certainly do my best.
We all do our best for Daddy. Makes shopping for him a real pain.
We're looking for a gift?
His birthday. Number 50. That's why he's so twitchy lately.
Big party makes security dodgy.
Plus, there's a mid-life thing going on.
Talismans?
Images of the goddess Yeska, his favorite creepy deity.
- What do you think of the gold one? - Attractive.
It isn't real gold. One good spell would melt it.
- Go with iron. - You sound like Dad.
He really gets into all this stuff.
Loves it all. The rituals, magic....
You don't love it?
I used to, when I was little.
It's been just us for a long time.
He used to sit me next to him...
...and teach me about runic incantations or enchanted armor.
- Not anymore? - No. I mean--
He still loves the stuff.
Guy's gotta love something.
He obviously loves you. He's gone to some trouble to protect you.
He has his car insured too.
Doesn't that hurt?
Oh! Hot! Hot.
Cold! Cold.
Virginia, say goodbye to the pretty guy.
- Wait-- - Angel!
You're Angel? The vampire?
Yes, I am.
I'm Angel. The vampire with a soul.
Fighting for my redemption with...
...killing evil demons.
That's right, scourge of the demon world.
Don't worry, I don't kill humans.
Unless I'm angry.
- We were just doing what he said. - Lanier?
Fine.
You're gonna leave now. Then tell Lanier--
Forget about the girl.
Now, go.
We better get you home. It's not safe.
I think if we give them a next time, it could get a lot rougher.
- What are you afraid of? - Nothing.
You're wimping.
- This isn't a dance. Fight! - I am.
Fighting yourself. Fight me!
Why can't you let go?
- Because. - Why?
If I let it, it'll kill you.
It?
The demon.
- But the demon is you. - No.
Yes. That's the thing you've tried so hard to conceal.
I can't let it control me.
I see.
You don't think it controls you?
I can't do this much longer,
There's something we didn't think about.
- He can smell blood, - What are you talking about?
It's only a matter of time before...
...he finds the real Magev's body.
I know you want me to keep him here--
Stop. Angel's there?
Yeah. He's right outside. Brooding.
Came after he spoke to the host, like Ramone said. Why?
The vampire's with you?
Then who the hell is the English guy?
Celeb photos.
Celeb photos. Page 46.
It's him!
I hope you weren't frightened.
No. More angry, you know.
- They tried to intimidate you. - Not at them, at everything.
The fact that I have to live like this.
- It's a bad situation. - It's a bad situation?
It's a waste of a life.
I keep waiting for my life to start, and it never does.
There's just more locks and surveillance cameras and....
Guards? What is this now? Bedroom guards?
- You go back and tell my dad-- - Stop it!
Let your flesh be weakened.
You were amazing.
I was a bit.
Your face. You don't go all...
...like a regular vampire.
I suppose I'm not like a regular vampire.
Not a vampire at all really.
They brought her back as a human.
This Darla girl, why'd they do that?
I don't know. But seeing her again, it's just....
It's triggered the inner struggle.
- Yeah. - She's not the one who did this to you.
No, it's still Darla. It's kind of hard to explain.
What hard? You're obsessed.
- I guess I am a little, yeah. - You blame her.
- I suppose. - You want to punish her.
- A bit. - And you want to thank her.
- Thank her? - For the gift she gave you.
- Gift? - You're deeply ambivalent.
- I am and I'm not. - You need to get over her.
Okay, what does she look like?
She's beautiful. Small, blond.
Right. So here's what you do.
You go out and find yourself a small, blond thing.
You bed her, love her, you treat her like crap. You break her heart.
You and your inner demon will thank me, I promise.
Are you all right? I mean, two close calls like that?
I guess so. I don't know.
Are we safe now?
I don't know.
Sometimes I think about running away.
Isn't that ridiculous? A 24-year-old runaway?
We all want to escape our lives sometimes.
I think about getting my own place. A little apartment.
A job. Something silly, like...
...a perfume sprayer or working in a tire store.
A tire store?
- I told you it was ridiculous. - No, it sounds wonderful.
Rotating tires, inflating things.
Your father wouldn't allow it.
No, it's too dangerous.
He says they would grab me in a second and use me to get to him.
If you think about it, he's saying that if I moved out...
...it would kill him. I'd be responsible.
That's a huge burden to put on you.
I just...
...I just want out.
Virginia....
I'm sorry. I know we can't.
Yes. Why?
You're a pretty famous guy, Angel. I hear the guards talk sometimes.
- I know. - Know?
About the curse.
The curse.
- Curse? - Yeah, I thought you knew.
They don't tell me everything.
- So you really can't...at all? - That's what makes me special, right?
Right. No, that's real special.
So it's a sex thing?
- I mean, not specifically. - Then what specifically?
Perfect happiness. Yes, of course.
Mustn't....
Mustn't....
Mustn't let oneself...
...let myself get...
...diabolical. Consequences....
I should....
You know, this whole curse thing has been widely misinterpreted.
Really?
Oh, yes.
Less of a curse. More of a hex, actually.
Barely that.
A recommendation.
Are you sure you're telling the truth?
I wanna be honest with you. I want to tell you everything.
I'm not actually....
Yo, yo! Anybody home?
Morning, traveler.
- Do you seek enlightenment? - I seek Angel. He with you?
He was until the sun came up. Then....
See that pile of dust over there?
I'm just joking. He's inside. Come on.
Joking? We got ourselves a funny Zen master.
Which lesson was that, exactly?
He was not your friend. I sensed danger.
Where's the real T'ish Magev? Did you kill him?
Did you put him in the lake?
Something like that. But you know what?
I'm not worried about you now, seeing as you can't get any closer.
Wonderful sunshine. Wish you were here.
- What are you doing? - Getting in touch with my inner demon.
There you are! I found you!
How did you get in here?
I told them I worked for Angel, and they sent me in.
You've got everybody scared here.
They don't even know you're a Shemp.
- Hey, you're Virginia Bryce. - Who are you?
This is Cordelia Chase. She works for me.
Virginia, I left my coat....
I'll get it.
Good move. Let's scuttle our butts out of here!
- I'm not going with you. - What?
I'm rescuing you. Key ingredient: We leave.
I understand. But I have to stay. I have a job to do.
What is wrong with you? You've got delusions of Angel.
You're not him. You can't do stuff on your own.
Oh, crud.
Mr. Bryce, I've seen your picture. And you're from the armed abduction.
I had Miss Chase testing your defensive perimeter, and I must say...
...did you know your guards just let her in?
I told them to. I wanted my daughter to hear them call you your real name.
- Wait. - What's going on? What real name?
I got a call from an anonymous friend with some information.
- This guy isn't Angel. - I am so Angel!
No, not the sun, for I'm a vampire!
Oh, no, it burns!
You're not Angel.
My name is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.
I talked to you. I trusted you.
You lied to me.
Come to think of it, you actually put my life in danger.
I was walking around thinking I had vampire protection.
Here's the funny part. I finally thought I had a friend.
- You kind of screwed her over. - Get out of my house.
Take the piece with you.
The piece? Is that supposed to be me?
Should've let me kill him. You gonna let him go?
Never tell me what to do! You brought me the wrong guy.
You risked the whole sacrifice. Understand?
But I'm not gonna kill you, because I need you now, Benny.
It's only a few hours till the sacrifice.
You understand the need for security in this?
This is the party of my life.
Obviously, Virginia's too.
Well, that was pretty humiliating.
Angel, Gunn. What happened?
He got hit.
By who? The swami? Swamis don't hit. Swamis swamm.
- Why is Wesley wearing my coat? - There was a lot of swami.
- The T'ish Magev hit him? - He was a fake.
Someone hired him to get me out of the way.
He took out the real Magev.
- Did you find out who hired him? - He wouldn't say.
That is my coat, right?
It has to be Paul Lanier. He thought that would keep Virginia unprotected.
When his men couldn't take me out, he told Bryce I wasn't Angel.
- He hoped Bryce would get rid of me. - What's going on?
- Were you in Virginia? - That's not the point.
He posed as you, protecting a girl named Virginia.
Lanier is trying to kill her or abduct her or something.
She's probably in danger at the party.
- Party? - Her father's.
Big wizard event. Cake, tributes to the goddess Yeska.
Yeska? Wait a minute. I know Yeska. She's no goddess.
- What do you mean? - She's a Davric demon.
They don't serve humans, unless the humans make a sacrifice.
- Sacrifice? - Davrics eat live sacrifices, girls.
They grant huge power to the person who offers a sacrifice on--
On their 50th birthday. Bryce is gonna sacrifice his own daughter.
Why is Lanier trying to abduct her?
Bryce will get a lot of power off this sacrifice.
Angel, Gunn, go to the front of the house. Cordelia, we'll go to the back.
I'm sorry. You know this sort of thing best. How should we proceed?
Well, Gunn and I could...
...take the back.
- Very good. Let's go. - Wesley, can I get my coat back?
What is this horrible thing?
I hope a girl isn't gonna jump out of it or something.
Not really.
Thank you.
I wanna thank all of you for being here on this special occasion.
My feelings....
My feelings run almost too deep for words, but I'll try to do this...
...and do it right.
What is he talking about?
Yeska, of the razor eyes and stone heart, take this offering.
I cast my most precious emerald into the ocean on my 50th birthday.
Daddy, what are you doing?
Daddy? Hey! What are you--?
- Take my gift. - Daddy, stop them!
- Stop now! - Let her death...
...return tenfold unto me my power.
Make them stop!
Be a good girl now. This is hard enough already.
He's really torn about it.
Help! Somebody help me!
Daddy?
- Release her or die. - Don't I say that?
Guards!
I'll get you out of here.
The hour approaches, Yeska. Do not be blind to my plea.
Yeska, I beseech thee!
Appear!
The sacrifice...
...is impure!
- What's going on? - Let's go.
- Why did you come back? - I said I'd protect you.
She's impure?
She's not a virgin?
You....
- Impure? - She slept with him?
This wouldn't have happened if you were Angel.
That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.
- You slept with her? - A eunuch?
- Things happen. Two people, danger. - What are you talking about?
She was a virgin before you got here.
- I was not a virgin! - What?
- Thank God. - I could've told you that.
- Not a eunuch. - One day as Angel.
- One day, and he's getting some. - What?
How could you? I kept you away from all men.
The curse isn't even that clear.
Daddy, you remember that chauffeur from when I was 16? And the one at 18?
I haven't been a virgin for a very long time.
I even dated Rick.
Ginny, don't do this. Don't make me angry.
Right. Because then you might do something bad.
You were going to kill me!
You are not my father anymore.
I'm not a eunuch.
Look.
"Virginia Bryce, squired by Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce...
...private detective and bodyguard to the stars."
- "Squired"? Who says squired? - Look at him all over her.
You're jealous he's getting attention.
Damn skippy! He's getting famous off this!
Reflected glory, that's my thing!
Get a little perspective.
"Bodyguard to the stars." Yeah, right.
There's no Wyndam-Pryce Agency,
Thank you, thank you very much,