Angel (1999–2004): Season 2, Episode 17 - Disharmony - full transcript

Angel and his friends fight a new vampire running a motivational pyramid scheme. And Cordelia helps her old friend Harmony, who's now a vampire.

WESLEY:
Previously on Angel:

I've done things, questionable things.
You're all fired.

Officer, wait!

- What are you?
- A vampire.

THE HOST: It's called a moment
of clarity. You've just had one.

You might not be able to fix this.

- Angel.
- You okay?

No.

Sorry.
I wanna work for you.

How do we know we can trust you?

WESLEY:
This won 't be easy, Angel.



You have to change your behavior.

Engage your coworkers. Be sensitive
to their feelings and opinions.

Especially before you
take some action...

...one might construe as...
Let's say, insane.

It goes a long way to show you
appreciate and respect them.

- This is torture, isn't it?
- Yes.

Good.

That's all.

I'll just, you know,
sit and absorb it all.

Somewhere else. Not here.
I mean, this is...

...your office...

...now.

I'll just... I'll get out of your hair.

- You're sure about this?
- Absolutely.



I work for you. I just need to...

I've provided you
with a new working space.

- Great.
- And I'd love a cup of coffee.

That's very funny.

Two sugars in mine.

Mocha cappuccino here.

Man, atonement's a bitch.

Disharmony

[CAR RADIO PLAYS MUSIC]

- Don't.
- Don't?

You're gonna try to make
small talk, get all stammery.

You might strain yourself.

Just wanted to know how you were.

I mean, we really haven't
had a chance...

- Let me...
- It's okay.

- I can...
- I've got it.

Okay.

You want to know how I am?

Tired, mostly, with sweaty
running a close second.

I'm also jazzed.

Can't wait to start business again.

Ready to help the helpless.

But just so we understand each other,
you and I...

...we're not friends.

Wesley!

She's screaming.
Pulling her from a car.

Guys in blue robes.

They're...

... taking people...

... and...

Whoa.

- Big bird.
- Big Bird?

Not the Muppet, dumbass.

Where's the car, Cordelia?

Lafayette Park, the fountain.

Right. Let's move.

- Are you...?
- Fine.

You should take off.

I mean, the rest of the night. Go home.

Order Chinese.

Hello?

Hello?

That's how you greet a friend?

Harmony? Harmony, I don't believe it!

- Yes. It's me.
- I haven't seen you since...

- Our school blew up.
- Seems like a lifetime ago.

Oh, for me too. Totally.

Wow. Look at you.

You look...

...different.

I'm not the same as I was
back at Sunnydale High.

And you. You...

...cut your hair.

Oh. Yeah.

I think it looks adorable,
off your neck.

Thanks. I was just, you know,
looking for a change.

Sure. Change. Change is good.

Sometimes.

So, this is where you do...

...whatever it is you do?

- Detective agency.
- Right. But you're not a detective.

Well, not me.

Technically. I'm...

Mostly I manage things. The office.

Sounds rewarding.

Are you in town on business?

No. No business.

Play, play, play.

I just got out of
a smothering relationship.

You know when they
can't live without you?

Sure. That one.

Hate that.

I thought it would be a good time
to check out L.A.

See old friends.

- Got a place to stay?
- You offering?

- Do I have to say it?
- Yeah.

Stay with me. Hope you
don't mind the couch.

Now what?

Gunn, search the area
near the fountain.

I'll take this path. Angel...

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Follow the screaming woman?

Why you wanna hide
such a pretty face?

WESLEY:
It's over now. You'll be safe here.

Didn't Cordelia say blue robes?

Perhaps she was wrong.

I think we should give her
the benefit of the doubt, don't you?

I'll check. See if those
blue boys are still around.

Religious sect?

ANGEL:
I don't know.

I'll put Cordelia onto it.

- I gave her the night off.
- Did you?

Well, I thought, you know,
she looked so tired...

The vision got to her.

Do you think I should send
her something? Like flowers?

- Flowers?
- Yeah.

To say, "Thanks.
I'm sorry about the migraines."

You know, "I appreciate you."

Yes. And while you're at it,
pick me up one of those...

..."Sorry you were shot in the gut"
bouquets.

Right. Sorry.

You can't buy back her trust, Angel.

Or her affections.

She said...

She said we're not friends.

I know.

There's only one thing you can
give her, Angel. That's time.

She has a lot of pain.

Oh, your cackle.

And then, remember...

...in ninth grade remedial Spanish,
Donnie something?

Donnie Wray. Yes.

That's him! He followed me everywhere.

Oh, and he wrote that love song to you.

How did it go?

Oh, Cordelia

How I long to feel ya

Ew!

Oh, God. We totally ruled.

Yeah. That we did.

We were powerful...

...rich, popular.

None of that's changed for me.

Apart from the powerful,
rich and popular.

- But I am happier now than I was then.
- Get out.

It's hard to explain.
I'm telling you, it's like...

I had these air pockets inside of me.

And the work I'm doing...

We're doing, it's like
the pockets keep getting filled...

...and I'm becoming me and...

Me has had way too much to drink.

And me shut up.

You, now. You've barely
told me anything.

Um.

Well, what can I say?

Things are fabu. I'm having a ball.

I did just get out of that
really unhealthy relationship.

And just, you know, feeling
really good about me in general.

Well, good for you.

In general.

Well, you must be doing something
right, because you look...

...crampy.

Are you okay?

Yeah, just...

...hungry.

I guess.

Got the cure for that.

Pizza.

I know just the place. My favorite.

Thin crust. Heavy on the sauce.

Do you like pineapple
and tandoori chicken?

Oh, yeah. It's all good.

I didn't do that.

Harmony?

I have a ghost.

- What are...?
- Nothing.

Harmony?

I'm sorry. I thought
I could control myself.

I thought I could resist my urges.

Urges?

You have no idea how hard it is
to stay away from you.

I mean, seeing you there, looking so...

...luscious.

Oh.

- Oh, you're a...
- I should have told you.

I was scared.

Scared that if you found out
what I was, you'd kill me.

Oh, no. Harmony.

You really think
I'm that narrow-minded?

I don't care about that.

- You don't?
- No. Not as long as you're happy.

Happy. What's that?

The last time I was happy
was back in school with you.

- Now, I'm taking advantage of you.
- No.

It's just...

It's just that I had no idea
that you...

...thought of me that way.
- I don't, I swear. It's just...

Well, I haven't had any
for a while...

Forget it.

This is stupid. I'll just
go back to the couch.

I'm really sorry.

Don't be. If you wanna
stay and talk...

No, I better...

You know, I'd appreciate it if you
didn't mention this to anyone.

It's our secret.

How come you didn't tell me
about Harmony?

You couldn't afford
a little phone call?

Harmony?

What about Harmony?

She's here, in L.A.

Yikes. Big yikes. What happened?
Did she come after you?

Yeah. She practically attacked me
in my bedroom last night.

- Your bedroom?
- While I was sleeping.

Good thing I woke up too. She was
ready to jump me right there.

But I think she understood me
when I shot her down.

- You wounded her?
- She'll survive.

I shouldn't have invited her to stay.

- Say what?
- Yeah, I know. Awkward much?

Cordelia!

We're all clear on the fact
that Harmony's a vampire, right?

Oh.

Harmony's a vampire?

That's why...

Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.

All this time I thought she was
a great big lesbo.

Oh, yeah?

Really?

Well, that's great. Good for you.

Thanks for affirming.

Cordelia, Harmony's very dangerous.
You have to get out of there.

I'll call when I get somewhere safe.

Where are you going?

Maybe I can find the manufacturer.

Already looked into it.
No listing anywhere.

Maybe I'll find something
on the street.

The street bathed in morning sunlight?

Relax. Gunn's contacting his sources.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Well, what can I do?
- Answer that.

Angel Invest...

Willow?

Willow, what...?

Slow down. Hold on.

Get away from her...

...foot.

- What are you doing?
- We're...

Willow called and told us.

- Your friend Harmony is a...
- Vampire. I know.

- An evil vampire.
- Yeah, we covered that too.

You thought you'd kill her...

...without giving her a chance
to explain herself?

- Pretty much.
- That's it.

Holster your guns, boys.
She came to me for help.

That's what we do, right? Help?

That thing may have your friend's
memories, her appearances...

...but it's a filthy demon,
an unholy monster.

- No offense.
- About what?

Wes, you can't.

Cordelia feels her friend
isn't a threat.

I think we should respect her wishes.

I'm just saying.

Cordelia, we need you.

Let me get my coat.

So you're just going to
leave her here?

A vampire, risking your
neighbors' lives?

Harmony's my friend,
and I trust her completely.

Harmony can stay.

I don't wanna be alone with the ghost.

Triangles evoke
pyramidal imagery...

...but there's nothing with both
a serpent and a pyramid.

Doesn't appear to be...
Do you mind?

[GUM POPS]

Well, I'm kind of bored, but go ahead.

The red bird sculpture you saw...

Was it an eagle? A hawk? A falcon?

Am I the Bird Lady of Alcatraz?

It had wings and a beak. For all
I know, it was a big red duck.

Perhaps it's an idol, a totem
the cult uses in its rituals for...

Duck worshippers?

It could be a landmark
at their hiding place.

I'm unaware of any bird
statuary in downtown L.A.

So unless you are...

Put a stake through her heart...

...if she persists in popping gum!

Harmony, lose the gum.

Sorry. I thought it would
help with the cravings.

You'd think I'd get thanked
for not biting any of you.

What are you doing?
This book is 12 centuries old!

It's not like I messed up a new one.

She didn't do it on purpose.

That's right.

And I could have
because, you know, I am evil.

Wesley! Wesley!

There's blood in here.

Let's get you some
and let everyone work.

Here you go. That's it.

Drink up.

Ew.

Tastes funky.

It's pig's blood.

That's gonna go
straight to my hips.

- How can you?
- You get used to it.

I mean, how do you stand everything?

Being what you are. How can you
deprive yourself of the taste?

The sensation of rich,
warm, human blood...

...flowing into your mouth?
Bathing your tongue...

...caressing your throat
with its sweet, sticky...

GUNN: I'm back.
- Me too.

I see we have company.

That's Harmony. She's visiting.

It's okay to speak freely
in front of her. She's a vampire.

- Don't we kill them?
- What did you find?

Robed vampires been getting
people for a month.

- Why didn't we know?
- We've been distracted lately.

Or we haven't heard because
the bodies aren't turning up.

They're turning them.

Into vampires?

They're building an army.

Question is, for what?

VAMPIRE:
The time is here.

The time is now.

The question is, are you ready?

I said, are you ready?!

It's time.

Take a seat.

It's time to actualize your potential.

Time to maximize your input...

...and get the most
out of your afterlife.

To those of you who are new,
I wanna say:

Hi.

You're special.

You each have it in you
to be the best vampire.

Not just any vampire, but a master.

How? I'll show you.

Through my personally devised
multi-level...

...exponential flow co-operative.

I know what some of you are saying,
"Hey, Doug, speak English, man."

Okay, don't stake me, guys, all right?

Here's how it works.

One vampire turns two humans
into vampires.

They each turn two more humans.

And they turn two more.

And so on, and so on.

All it takes for each vampire
to buy their way...

...into our co-op is one human,
to be deposited...

...in our very own food bank.

How about that, huh?

You turn two into vampires...

...and you bring one
for the food bank.

Turn two, and the rest is food.
Say it.

Turn two, the rest is food.

Turn two, the rest is food!

Next.

Two students grabbed in a parking
garage on Figueroa.

Got it. Next.

GUNN:
Guy was snatched two blocks over.

WESLEY:
When was this?

GUNN: Last night. Heard it
from one of my guys.

- What?
- Nothing. Just...

I can't believe this
is what you do.

We always said we'd do
something cool. Look at us.

You work here, I'm dead.

Life takes some funny turns sometimes.

I'm not where I thought I'd be,
but still...

Hey. Hello, guys?

Found something.

There's nothing mystical
about it.

Department of Justice.
A logo for a defunct pyramid scheme.

Vamps running money scams now?

This particular one was run
by a motivational speaker and...

Oh, Lord, help me,
self-described "Life Coach"...

...named Doug Sanders.

Held meetings until
the feds caught him.

- He was arrested?
- He disappeared. Still at large.

- Has the makings of a cult leader.
- Here's something.

His known meeting sites.

- A picture!
- Now we're talking.

Let me see.

Okay, that was my fault.

Get her out of here.

Now.

Come on, Harm.

Such a fitting nickname.

Bloody hell.

This was a mistake.
I shouldn't have come.

I'm just getting in the way.

- Don't talk like that.
- Easy for you to say.

You've got friends.

I don't have anyone
who understands me.

I know someone who understands
a little about pain.

We're going out!

Memories

May be beautiful and yet

What's too painful to remember

So, what do you think?

Your friend should reconsider
the name Harmony.

The way we were

The way we were

That was so fun!
I can't believe I did that.

Color us incredulous.

Harmony's looking for guidance.

I'm picking up on the
"Gotta find my corner of the sky"...

...vibe loud and clear.

- You can help?
- No.

But I can treat you
to a carafe of plasma.

AB-negative here is superb.
Or so I'm told.

That's it?

You were supposed to do
some mojo. Show me my path.

You're on it, my cacophony.

I'm not your travel agent
for this trip. Brown eyes is.

Stick with her.
Let your pal be your guide.

Cacophony. That's pretty.

What's it mean?

Cordy!

I see you have other concerns
at the moment, but we need you.

- Why?
- The attacks are in a 10-block area.

The cult must be around there.

We'll drive around the area.
Maybe you'll see something.

- Like a red bird.
- For instance.

Okay.

Harmony, I have to go.
Work stuff. You okay here?

You kidding? Free blood, potato skins.

Hey, I'm thinking about
doing another number.

Do you think,
"Candle in the Wind"...

...or the Princess Di
"Candle in the Wind"?

Go nuts. Do both.

Okay. Like the green guy said,
you're my guide.

So we're on the same page,
when we find this cult...

...we kill them.

Let's do it.

- Harmony?
- I got it. He said stick with you.

- I understand where my place is.
- Where?

With you.
I'm one of the good guys now.

This is gonna be great.
I am an evil-fighter.

I suck at being evil because
I'm meant to fight it.

It's so clear now. Is this what
it feels like to have purpose?

I mean, wow!

Look at us, we're working together.
I never had a job before.

We can gossip at the water cooler.

Harm, I'm trying to concentrate.

Oh. Sorry.

How long have you been fighting evil?

I just started, but I got some moves.

- Angel!
- You have to tell her.

She won't listen to me.

Welcome to my world.

That would be so funny.

- Oh, do we get paid vacations?
CORDELIA: Stop!

Pull over here!

- Is that...?
- I don't...

I'm not sure.

The bird you saw was red.

It is. I mean, it was.

GUNN: Looks like puke green.
HARMONY: Not like a duck.

CORDELIA:
There's something familiar.

GUNN:
We passed this place before.

Cordelia?

No. No, I guess it isn't it.

Right.

In the car. We'll...

Where's Angel?

Forgot to turn on the lights.

- I told you this was it.
- Right.

Angel and Cordelia, cover the front.

We'll see if there's another way in.

What about me? What's my job?

Um.

- Guard the car.
- You got it.

Anyone comes near,
I'll rip his throat out.

No. No killing.

- Okay, maiming only.
- No!

Yell louder, they didn't hear us.

Go. I'll talk to her.

Touching. With the hands.

You know, I've tried not
to say anything.

I tried to let things
sort themselves out.

But Harmony cannot work with us.

I know. It was just temporary.

Look. She loves this.
Gives her a reason to go on.

I don't want her going on.
Neither should you.

She's the enemy.

- You sound like Wesley.
- Because he's right.

Harmony will turn on you.

Why? Because you did?

- She's a vampire.
- So are you.

- She doesn't have a soul.
- That's it, is it?

- You're better because you do?
- Yeah.

Yours didn't stop you
from betraying us.

We cared about you.

And you didn't
just betray me, Angel.

You didn't just hurt me.
You gave away my clothes.

- To the needy.
- I am the needy.

I was afraid you were
becoming Angelus again.

Imagine what could have happened
if you'd slept with Darla.

You know I would never do that.

- No way to see inside.
- Or how many.

Okay, I'll go in, pretend I want
to join up, get a headcount.

Too many nightcrawlers know your face.

- Some can sense your soul.
- Right.

Harmony!

Yeah?

She doesn't have a soul.
Nobody knows her.

She can be a spy.
Tell us what's what.

- Me?
- No way.

- I got a bad feeling.
- I know she can do it.

You can do this, right?

I kind of thought I'd start out
with light typing, car-guarding.

Something low pressure.

This is the chance you needed
to find a purpose.

But I thought I had purpose
guarding the...

Yeah.

Okay. I wanna do this.

All right, Harmony, you're on.

Watch out, evil.

Here comes Harmony.

Hey, we'll meet you out back.

DOUG: You may be thinking, "I'm not
like you. I don't have what it takes."

That's just your inner human,
the neuroses of your past life.

Ignore it. Instead, say,
"I'm in control of my un-life."

A nice big hand for Tibor,
graduating to the yellow level.

Now, with each level ascension
there are rewards.

Grab yourself a nice juicy one.

Come on, let's hear it!

Let's hear it!

- She should be back.
- Maybe she's stuck.

Give her a minute.

- This was a bad idea.
- We can rescue her.

Now we're saving a vampire
from vampires? No way.

That is so... Harmony!

CORDELIA: Are you okay?
- Fine. There's maybe 100 of them.

And a cage full of people.

You did it. You so rule!

I know! I left the
back door open. Come on.

I have to thank you again
for giving me this opportunity.

You could have totally staked me
in Cordelia's apartment.

And who would have blamed you?
One more vampire turned to dust.

But you helped me find my destiny.
I really appreciate it.

I've never belonged anywhere.

Yes, yes. You're welcome.

The vampires, where are they?

Oh, right behind you.

I belong with them.

That is an impressive display
of potential actualization.

A member of us for 20 minutes...

...and look what she's delivered.

Two to turn, and one for food.

As a bonus, the infamous Angel.

Someone made the ascension
to blue robe.

- Oh, goody.
DOUG: Congratulations, Harmony.

Taking the first steps to mastering
my destiny. Like you said.

Well, Harmony...

...aren't you just the most
weak-willed, soft-brained...

Those comments are growth inhibitors.

I tune out mental roadblocks.

You can all put your weapons down now.

Really, Angel, you don't want
all your friends to die horribly.

No, I don't.

Wesley?

Kill them all!

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Get those people out.

It's all right, we'll get you out.

Why are you working with humans?
Maximize your potential.

Empower your vampire self.

- What's so funny?
- Your crossbow is aimed at my throat.

You're stupid.
That won't kill me.

No, it'll hurt like hell.
This is the one that'll kill you.

Okay, you're angry. I don't blame you.

Just, you know, it's nothing personal.

I'm evil.

We're still friends, right?

This way, quickly.

- We're still friends?
- No, we're not friends.

- Get out of here.
- Really?

Not just here.
I want you out of my city.

You'll want to be far away.

But I left a few things at the... Bye.

Don't say anything. Not a word.

- You wanted to see me?
- Yes. Please, come in. Close the door.

I just...

I thought we'd meet
before Cordelia arrived.

I know things have been strained
between the two of you.

Working in such close quarters...

It's okay, Wesley, really.

She has a right to feel that way.
I'm willing to give her room.

Good.

Good!

That's just the right attitude.
Time and space...

...are really the only things
one can give.

As long as we understand that,
the healing...

[CORDELIA SQUEALS]

Oh, my God, these are gorgeous!

You have the most amazing taste.

You have like a gay man's taste.

That's saying something.
I love them so much!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You're the best!

I have to go try these on.
La-la-la-la-la!

I have new clothes!

I have new clothes!

I got her clothes.

CORDELIA:
New clothes!

New clothes, new clothes.

Grr. Arrgh.

ANGEL:
Thank you. Thank you very much.

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