Angel (1999–2004): Season 2, Episode 13 - Happy Anniversary - full transcript

Previously on Angel:

You're never going to be alone again.

How'd you think it would end?

For God's sake, help us.

- People are going to die.
- I just don't care.

There's only us three
between you and real darkness.

You're all fired.

Who was that?

They closed down
and left these here?

Yep. Also the desk.
We'll share.

And when we close down,
we'll leave it too.



Hey, negative energy!

With our money pooled,
we can stay a long time.

- Twenty minutes.
- At least.

Angel Investigations without the Angel.

Think we can do it?

Well, we better.
What else can we do?

I still have visions to keep us busy.

We'll need more.
A steady outside clientele.

It'll happen. This is our future.
And personally...

...I think it's pretty bright.

Dead plant not symbolizing
our future, really.

Okay, every local parked car has
a flyer on the windshield.

We just irritated almost
a hundred people.

- It's funky in here.
- It'll air out. And good job!



Now we just wait
for the calls to roll in.

Through a bullhorn?
We got no dial tone.

What?

Perhaps it's the wires.

It should be on by now.

One desk?
We sharing?

Things are looking up.
I think I found the right wire. Ow!

I'm so glad I met you guys.
It's entertaining, really.

Oh, say does that
Star-spangled banner...

...yet wave?

For the land of the free

And the home of the brave

Hey! You must sing in here
all the time.

Come on, with these acoustics?

And the rockets' red glare

- Hear the resonance?
- If I'm not dreaming, I hear...

...is the national anthem from
a loud green demon.

We're all brothers under the skin.

Although the color and the horns have
kept me out of public performances.

I'd love to sing at a Lakers game.

- Is that too much?
- Why are you here?

What's today, Thursday?
Tomorrow night the world's going to end.

Thought you might want to know.

The world's gonna end?

Brings you down, right?

Don't feel the need to offer me
coffee or a cinnamon roll.

- I don't.
- Man, you just get darker and darker.

The weird thing is your aura--
Beige.

I don't have coffee.

Or a duster. I don't know why
you fired those plucky kids.

They were good company.
And Cordelia--

Hot-o-rama!
In the "Oh, my sizzling loins" sense.

And the British boy,
he's going to be playing a huge--

Will you get to the world ending?

All right. Although my good will
falling on your deaf ears...

...needs some work.

The world ending?
Kind of a funny story.

At the club last night,
a typical Wednesday...

...a Torto demon and his parasite
were murdering this song.

Bye-bye, sweet caress

Hello, emptiness

Bye-bye, my love
Goodbye

Nothing compared to what Elian
had done to my Seabreeze,

Is this a difficult concept?

Were we absent when they taught
Seabreeze in class?

Vodka, cranberry,
fresh grapefruit juice.

A real, live grapefruit.

One you must cut and squeeze,
not pour from a can.

The man is such a moron.
You have no idea how I'm suffering.

Can you get to the point, already?

If you let me get a word in,
Mr. Get-to-the-Pointy-Pants.

This guy gets up to sing.

They sing, I read their futures,
their auras.

- I see into their souls--
- So this guy?

The thing that was remarkable about
him was there was nothing remarkable,

This is a song I like.

- Because....
- Just a guy about to mangle a tune...

...and bore me with a bland vision
of his bland future,

I never needed anyone

And making love was just for fun

All by myself

Don't wanna be

But when he started singing--
Man, he knocked me out.

He was good?

No, he knocked me out!

Then he was gone.

- He didn't wait to hear what you saw?
- Nope.

What knocked you out?

I saw he has no future
after 10:00 tomorrow night.

And neither does anybody else.

- Say I believe you--
- Let's say more than that.

We gotta find this guy.
This is the big blackout.

He's going to do something...

...that will cancel everybody's plans.

We gotta stop him.

- Why did you come to me?
- You're a champion.

A force for good in a troubled world.

Also, all the other champions
are out of town or dead.

Why, you won't work with me?

I gave you some missions that were--

- Pointless and deadly?
- As for example....

But I did it in good faith.

And let me interrupt
to inform you: world ending!

Kind of an emergency,
you might want to get on board.

Why'd this guy leave
before you could tell him?

People get scared.
They might not want to know.

Especially when I faint...

...a teeny bit of vomit.
Let's not dwell.

Maybe he's just there to sing karaoke.

That makes more sense.
We'll start with local karaoke bars...

...to get a lead.

If you're not busy getting lawyers
killed and setting girls on fire.

Somebody forgot to wind Time Boy.

He's thinking.
Something you ought to try.

Very funny. He's really not
that much smarter than the rest of us.

His work on time paradox earned
the professor a Nobel...

...nomination while your work
on mold was forgotten.

- Know what you are?
- Yes, Mike.

If you say it, I'll put your face
in liquid nitrogen.

What's the good word?

- Entanglement.
- How's that?

For Newton, space and time are
separate. For Einstein, entwined.

"Einstein entwined," say it fast.

How can altering one particle of an
entangled pair affect the other...

- ...without any link between them?
- Because space and time are one.

How do you separate the pair?

You don't.
You probably shouldn't try.

- I never do.
- What you do...

...is carve out one instant at a time.

I like the theory
of freezing time as much as--

It's not freezing time.
I mean...

...cutting an infinitesimal space-time
aggregate from all that surrounds it.

A tiny event horizon.

Sort of. Then growing that event
into something measurable.

Your dog and his favorite bone,
preserved forever in his own bubble.

And who will clean up that bubble?

If I can get the math right,
I can prove it.

By generating a focal point
with the accelerator's beams here...

...and passing liquid mercury
through that point....

Suspending the mercury, snatching it
out of our time-space continuum...

...and freezing the moment.

Forever.

Denise. Your boyfriend
was hitting on me with...

...the old Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen
correlation.

That's what got me out of physics
and into theater.

- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good. You?

Good. So what's new?

- I guess we're on for tomorrow night.
- We are.

- Big night.
- Yeah. One-year anniversary and all.

Well, we should....

- You guys are leaving?
- Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow night.

- Don't work all night.
- You know he will.

Nice.

It's not that bad.
Nothing lots of Lysol can't cure.

To cast me off discourteously

An interesting choice.
Too bad about the Cuisinart tomorrow.

If we stop the world ending,
the scar won't be noticeable.

Sorry. Occupational hazard.

Is he here?

Nope.

Seventeen karaoke bars. I need to
scrub out the inside of my head.

Maybe we're wrong.
Sniffing a cold trail.

Don't get your kind much.

- Excuse me?
- Demons.

Usually, we get vampires
passing for human.

I never pass on anything with
a little umbrella in the glass.

- Worked here long?
- Eleven years.

Since they put
in that karaoke machine...

...it drove most of the customers away.

- We get a few steadies.
- Steadies?

Lot of students.
Grad students.

Fits the description.

We're looking for a guy:
early 20s, medium build.

- Sings sad songs.
- Sounds like The Kid.

- Name?
- I don't know. He's here now and then.

Always sings sad songs.
I thought somebody died.

Later, I figured he
was a manic-depressant.

You got a good picture of this
grad student in your head?

How about singing
"For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"?

He's a demon.
Do what he says, or he might...

...talk your ears off.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

It's him. It's our boy.
Fabulous tone.

Nice vibrato. And you keep writing
that novel, F. Scott.

Art is its own reward.
Got to give the people hope.

This student, which university is that?

Momentum and mass energy...

...within the conservation of PX...

...PY and PZ.

Here goes nothing.

There went nothing.

This is never gonna work.

There, see?

We don't need
the harsh fluorescents...

- ...or useless computer information.
- Cordelia...

...stop trying.

- Really?
- Join us.

Sometimes you need to wallow.

Just let the depression
settle in silently.

Hey.

Wow, this place is great!

I brought champagne.
You guys must be so excited.

In that really dry, suicidal way.

Sorry, sweetheart.

You just caught us in a moment of....

- Well--
- Reality.

Oh, that.

- I avoid that.
- How do you avoid reality?

Money. It cures all but boredom,
and food cures boredom so...

- ...here's imported chips and cheese.
- Thanks.

We'll eat them huddled
around our pathetic candles.

- And make pathetic nachos.
- You guys are really down.

And don't tell us it can only go up.
Because...

...there's always more down.

That was very well said,
by the way...

...but I found a client for you.
A rich one.

- Really?
- Why didn't you say this first?

I got distracted by your desperation.

But my friend Patricia's family...

...they've got this big guy
that's been harassing them at home.

- They'd be grateful if you help them.
- Sounds easy.

- Wait. By "big guy," you mean demon?
- Yes.

They own a palatial estate...

...and they'll give you big tubs of cash.

Really rich family.
They invented chairs or something.

We'll do it! Anything!

That's so sad.
He's a Wainakay demon...

...and he got the eldest son already.

So there's been a death?

You just let these facts dribble out?

- I'll call Patty to say you'll help.
- No phone.

- No lights.
- And there's a funky smell.

I wasn't gonna say anything.

Nine to the 17th?

Where C-squared and E-squared are
obtained by differentiating...

...the four velocity--

Four velocity termination?

I did it.

This is a yee-ha moment.

I definitely think this
is a yee-ha moment.

Yee-ha!

- Where did you learn how to drive?
- Just now, in your car. Not bad?

- Nearly killed us four times.
- I drove...

...because you were under the blanket,
hiding from the sun.

I better hide and think of
something to say if I'm seen.

Tell them you're the new
school mascot. Wait here.

Yearbook and publications
going back five years.

Let's find your little madman.

I think of him as "our" little madman.
I'm a team player, you know?

- You all right, girl?
- Huh?

Yeah, fine.

I'm good. You know, I'm not perfect.

Oh, God.

- Spit it out. You're among friends.
- This has to stay among friends.

- You can't repeat this to anybody.
- I won't.

I don't think it's gonna
work out with me and Gene.

And tonight's your anniversary.

- You think I don't know that?
- Oh, honey.

- Gene's a wonderful guy.
- Yeah?

But he's just sort of...

...hollow, or something.

When I'm with him, I feel....

- I feel lonely.
- Maybe that's because he is.

I love him, but he's an energy-sucker.

I have to break up with him.

Not to be a bitch, but couldn't
you have figured that out before?

He has it all planned.

- He's making me dinner.
- What are you gonna do?

You're gonna give him
the sympathy bone, aren't you?

It'll be dinner, sympathy bone,
and adi?s Gene, right?

We've been together for a year.
I can't walk out on him.

It just wouldn't be right.
Not after all we've--

The post-sympathy-bone walkout
is your only escape hatch.

It was really sweet there for a while.
Really sweet.

But it's just not the kind
of love that lasts.

- This him?
- It is not.

Got him.

He's a physicist.
A pretty good one, according to this.

I'll find out where the lab is.

Hi. I'm just trying to get
ahold of Gene Rainy.

- He's a physics grad student.
- Our own Stephen Hawking.

- What do you want?
- Leonard Taubman.

My foundation has
grant money for Gene.

Wish I was a genius. He's got
his own lab in the physics department.

It's not far from here.

You stay on this path.
Go past Kelton Hall and--

- What is that?
- Don't worry. School mascot.

So I'll give her the kind
of love that lasts.

Sorry.

- What did you tell it?
- I said, "We come in peace."

- What did he say?
- "You won't stop the one we've...

...waited for."

- Lubber demons are articulate.
- Lubber demon?

Fanatical sect, awaiting a messiah
who will end all human life.

Most demons don't yak about it, but...

...it's a popular demon theology.

This madman has demons protecting him
while he blows up the planet or--

What's he gonna do?

Let's go to his lab to find out.
He's a criminal mastermind.

All by myself

Anymore

All by myself

Don't wanna live

All by myself

We're looking for Gene.

- Me too. Someone took his stuff.
- Stuff?

Particle accelerators, propulsion--

- What's that?
- It's the new school mascot.

- We're Buccaneers.
- Not your school.

- What was Gene working on?
- Time paradox...

...accelerating particles out of our
continuum into their own universe.

- Come again?
- Stopping time.

Which is impossible.
No one can do it.

Do they listen? No.
He gets the grants, I get the mold.

Let's say he could do it,
let's say you could stop time,

- How would it work?
- According to his speculations...

...you focus the accelerators on a
point, Create the correct velocity...

- ... whatever's there would be removed,
- Removed?

From our reality,

- What happens to it?
- Nothing, in the absolute sense,

Whatever's in the field would stand
still forever, in its own universe,

Say someone cranked this
into overdrive.

If the field weren't contained,
it would spill out. Stop everything.

Kind of wiggy.

- Who can get in here?
- Only Gene.

- Even maintenance has no access.
- No forced entry.

- Why would Gene take his own stuff?
- Where would he take it?

So there's another gear
after that number two?

Relax, I'll pay for a tune-up.

Unless the world ends.

If it saves you some money, it's good.

Your sourpussy mode is starting to grate.

Your problem is--

- You listening?
- Do I have a choice?

- Your heart isn't in it.
- Technically, I have no heart.

Someone puts a stake in it, you won't
have anything. So your heart counts.

- What are you babbling about?
- Tell the truth.

If the world ends tonight, would it
really, in your heart of hearts...

...be such a terrible thing?

- Now is that a fun place to be?
- I think you should shut up now.

I'm the Host.
I never shut up.

You distanced your friends.
You went from helping the helpless...

...to hunting down the guilty.
Vengeance is for the lesser being.

You're a champion, Angel.

- I mean, you were, at least.
- What do you want me to tell you?

Everything. Why your heart
stopped caring.

The whole story so I can help you.

No need to rush. We got time.

You know, not a lot.

You want to know what my problem is?
I'm screwed.

I'm atoning for 100 years
of unthinkable evil.

News flash! I can't.
Never gonna be enough.

Now I got Wolfram & Hart dogging me.

200 law school graduates working
full-time, driving me crazy.

You're surprised it's working?

"Angel, why are you so cranky?"

"You should smile and wear a nice plaid."

Not this season.

Redemption. Darla had a shot
but they took it from her.

Now I have to kill her.
I'm gonna do it.

I'll kill her, then I'll burn that law firm.

My crew couldn't handle that.

Good. It means they're still human.
They're better off fired.

- You left them in the cold.
- It's a lot colder in here.

It's not always gonna be this way.
Things change.

Unless we don't get there on time.

In which case you'll be frozen
in this crappy mood forever.

- We'll get there.
- Look out!

- Hi.
- Hi.

You look, uh....

Well, happy anniversary.

Good job, man.
We're very grateful.

Yes, we found the killer.

- But not the murderer.
- What's he saying?

This demon was...

...under someone else's control.

Someone in this room.

- Can we eat these?
- What do we know?

When we arrived, there was a scent
of foxglove and hellebore.

Not to keep this demon out,
but to keep him in...

...so he could execute
the murderer's plan.

Such a plan would require the skill
of a master wizard.

I don't do that stuff anymore.

Then we have the footprints in the
soft soil under the window outside.

Too small to belong to this demon.

Kevin told you.
Those were his.

- He snuck in late last night.
- Loudly...

...so all could hear.

Supposedly from seeing that girl in town.
We all know Kevin is impotent...

...why put on the show?

Perhaps to cover for the real killer.

Unless Kevin, in fact, is the real killer.

With Derek gone, the inheritance is his...

...the younger brother
and black sheep of the family.

Unfortunately, you had neither
the opportunity...

...nor the intelligence to do this.

Sorry about the "impotent" remark.

If Kevin was to have control
of the money...

...who would have control of Kevin?

Are there more of these--?

Sorry.

His sister?

His mother?

Both influence his life.
Both with agendas.

But only one person knew the secret
that could blackmail Kevin for life.

Only one person took pains
to hide their muddy shoes.

Only one reeked
of foxglove and hellebore.

Only one person was responsible
for the death of Derek Bointon.

His own sweet, doting Aunt Helen!

Helen?

Not so fast, sister.

That was cool.

It wasn't difficult.

You keep sifting the evidence
till the truth hits you.

So how was scene class?

Oh, you know.

Jack thinks he can't play it
without a goatee.

The footstool would have a goatee?

Well, you know Jack.

Thank you for the....

It's really pretty.

It made me think of you.

Are you all done?

Yeah. I'm not that hungry.

It was good. It was really good.

Hurry!

That's sweet.

I'm sorry about the clutter.

It wouldn't be you without it.

I love you.

Where would I put a machine
to stop time?

Probably where the demons
can guard it.

Gene, we have to talk.

I can't believe this,

Listen, I am really, really sorry.

I had no idea I was
endangering the world...

...or that there were
all these demons.

But aliens among us is consistent with
Murdoch's multiverse. I just....

I didn't want her to leave.

Well, you know....

Love.

It's a fire.

You've been there.

It burns you...

...alive.

Down to the bone.
Then it turns the bone to ash--

What my chipper friend means is...

...the wheel keeps turning.
It can't stop.

Things may get worse or better.

I want the wheel to stop.

Which explains this time-in-a-box
disaster. I'm so sorry about that.

It don't work, Gene.
It's like a song.

I can hold a note a long time.
Actually, I can hold it forever.

Eventually, that's noise.

It's the change we're listening for.

The note coming after and after that.

That's what makes it music.

I guess.

You guys like beer?

Beer sounds great.

I'm glad you guys....

You're connecting to a human.
It's a start.

Go easy on the
bone-and-ash metaphors.

He's a love disaster
and nearly destroyed the world.

I can relate.

- I did kind of leave them in the cold.
- Your buddies, by firing them?

Yeah.

I guess I made it pretty hard for them.

Yeah!

- Hi.
- How are you?

You all right?

I just....

I need help.

- This is Angel Investigations?
- That's right.

Sorry about the confusion.

We're having a celebration,
a new beginning.

- Maybe I should--
- No. You need help, we can help.

- We can talk in back. Come in.
- Which one of you is Angel?

It's just a name.

Thank you,