Andromeda (2000–2005): Season 5, Episode 7 - Attempting Screed - full transcript

Take him down!

I'm going to
kick your butt!

Shut up! Let's go! Go!

Pretty soon, the money
I make off these chumps

isn't going to be worth
the money I make off them.

I'd say that's right about
any minute now.

You seen them fly?

Maniacs.

Yeah!

This time. This time.
But next time...

I told you!



What did I tell you?

Bozim hates being number two.

One of these days,
he's going to stab
her in the back.

Not a bad idea.

Like I said, maniacs.

That doesn't
sound right,

and it's coming in fast.

I'll stash the breakables.

Look, over there.

Get down!

Like I said,
these guys are maniacs.

- It's not one of theirs.
- Huh?

Hot!

Flavin?



In the flesh,

and very happy to
still be with the living.

The universe
is a dangerous place,

but in our future,
my crew and I
fight to make it safe.

I am Dylan Hunt, Captain
of the Andromeda Ascendant,

and these are our adventures.

And here I thought
you were gone for good.

I missed our heartwarming
and informative
conversations, Rhade.

I had to come back.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.
You told me that people
can come and go from Seefra,

but they don't come back.

That just proves I'm not the
only one who makes mistakes.

I don't make mistakes.

There's probably enough techno
in there to make us rich.

Mmm. Make me rich.
You take what I give.

You have no idea.

Come on, now, Lunah.

Must you lay claim to
everything that's not yours?

Back off.

Rhade.

Would you mind taking Flavin
inside Mr. Harper's
fine establishment?

Please.

My pleasure.

We can catch up on some
heartwarming conversation.

Have fun.
Mmm-hmm.

Start moving, Hunt,

if living's your preference.

Hey, I love life

because dying is
not much of a living.

Hey!

All right, Flavin,
good news or bad news?

Little of both.

Okay, does this have anything,
anything at all, to do with
us getting out of here?

Yes.
Yes.

I knew this was our lucky day.

And no.
I knew we were screwed.

I need to speak
with the captain.

I was leaving anyway.

I'm not listening.

I'm not.

First things first.

You left here
in a slipfighter.

Big mistake,
trading that ship.

No kidding.
That one has
landing problems.

So where'd you get it?

Out there.
Way, way, way out.

In the end, though,
they made me come back.

More specific, please?

The Paradine,
what's left of them.

Oh, yes, they're leaving
while the getting's good.

Okay, that's the bad news,

so why are they leaving and
where are they leaving from?

Long story.
I'm sure.

All I can tell you,
it's what needs to happen

for other things to happen,
for other things, etcetera.

Interdependent origination.

Whatever. What is
the good news?

Well, you are,
dear one, of course.

You are the good news.

Why can't I ever get a
straight answer out of you?

You'll get your answer,

but we'll need
transport to find it.

I'm in.

But I wasn't listening.

Argh. Our weapons
don't even dent it.

Same markings
as the alien craft.

I think it's a key.

I think it needs both.
Put yours in.

Wait a minute.

When my squad joined in
with yours, we agreed
50-50 splitties.

You shoot me,
I shoot you.

How's that sound?

Idiots.

Hare-brains
with hair-triggers.

Kind of like
somebody else I know.

All right, so

if Flavin made it
to slipstream in
this piece of junk,

I'll bet I can rig it
to get us out of here.

You have to
get in first.

Well, I figure a couple
of pals working together
ought to crack it.

Who says I'm your pal?

Believe me, I was
using the term loosely.

It is, however,
a technicality
we can live with.

Thanks, though,
for being so honest.
Appreciate it.

Count on it, Harper. Always.

How did I ever end up here?

Dylan, if you find
a way off Seefra,

don't forget your friends.

Some of us, anyway.

So, uh, Flavin,

you have no particular
attachment to
your ship now, right?

Beka...
What?

Well, he doesn't want it.
It's a total wreck now.

What you find
inside it, Beka,

may surprise you
more than you know.

Same goes for you.

Your greatest surprise
lies inside.

Are you ready
for that journey?

I'm listening.

We must undertake
a three-part journey, dear one,

to the past,
to the present,
and to the future.

I'd go anywhere if you
just made some sense.

Where are you heading, toe-jam?

I've got something
Lunah wants real bad.

Time to go, peewee.

I guess you don't want
the other key.

Show me.

Bozim!

Needle-nosed space idiot.

I've got a message for you.

I had a bet with Lunah
that you'd all be napping,

but you're only half asleep.

Who the hell are you?

I am the beginning of the end.

Get rid of him.

Listen, guys

can you tell me
what day of the week is it?

Yesterday,
I did laundry.

Tomorrow, I'm going
to send a letter
to my mother.

So today...

Today must be stunday.

What you got, Mongo?

Glux is who I am,
and this is what I got.

Wow.

Anyone else?

All right. How much?

What I'm worth.

Hmm.

500 Canaa.

1,000.

2,000.

2,500.

5,000 Canaa.

Plus a third
of whatever's
on the ship.

Hmm.

Uh, Dylan?

We're being targeted.

Great. Lunah's lugheads.

Just another day in paradise.

Dylan, I don't know,
these guys...

I can't hit them.
They're all over the place.

That one's way too close!

He crashed into us!

Losing altitude fast.

Hold on.

I'm going to love
watching you tear
Bozim from limb

to bloated limb.

And here I thought
you weren't romantic.

Mmm.

I'll tell you what.

Tomorrow morning,

we raid Bozim's camp,
get the other key.

Until then?

We seal the deal.

To your left.

Is everybody okay?

Well, distribution panel
is stripped.

Well, at least you got us down
In one piece. Good work, Beka.
Thanks.

You know where we are,
don't you?

Yes. This is near
where I grew up.

Now, we've been down
this road before, Flavin.

Well, if you two
are into a walk down
memory lane, go ahead.

It's gonna take me
a little while here.

Just, uh, be careful.

It looks like two
of the other ships
landed nearby.

We need to go.

This is me
giving you
one more chance.

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm. Gotta go.

Marked.

Good thing
I love a cheat,

and I just thought up
a great one,

once Rhade gets us
the other key,

...we kill him.

Then we get inside
the crashed ship,

strip it,
Make us some
real change.

Kill him. Hmm.

Deliver it fast.

First dibs on whatever's
inside that baby, three items.

Two, we said.
What?

You want a broken up bar?

Fine. Fine.

Bum face!

Out here, now.

Lunah paid me 5,000
for your key.

But do you know what?

For 10,000,
I'll come to your side.

Live or die today.
You decide.

I'll pay you 10.

Lunah, never kiss and tell.

You want to hand me your key,
or should I come and get it?

I have more men than you.

Rhade is worth 10 men.

Rhade is my warrior!

Your childhood home.

Hold on to your past.

Grip it tightly.

For a Paradine,
loss is central to everything.

Well, then
I'm very centered.

But your drive is still to
turn every loss into a gain.

It's how I stay alive.

It's why you're still here,

wrestling, straining, 'til
your face is bright red
with the effort.

That's good.

You carry your past with you.

To perfect your abilities,
you've got to find the space
between what you've won and

what you've lost.

Time for more riddles, Flavin?

Find a place
without opposites.

If you could retrieve
all you've lost,

what would that mean to you?

Everything.

Time and space
are malleable, Dylan.

It's conceivable you
could return to a time
when they were here.

The past is past.

It's the future
that I care about.

You've got to hold on to both.

Our friends are back.

Well, right now,
we should just focus on

staying alive
in the present.

Let's get back
to the Maru.

Beka, get us out of here!

Here's hoping.

Trance, giving you
a heads-Up.

We're going to be
coming in fast.
Get the Andromeda ready.

I'll be
there for you, Dylan.

I'll be there for you.
I say it time and again,

and I think it does more
to make me feel better
Than it does him.

If Captain Hunt
arrives under attack,
I have no way to protect him.

I feel that I
should be enough.

Forever.

That does not compute.

A set-up!

From the start.

And you were part of it.
Gulp.

Tell you what, since
you're in such a good mood,

why don't we say
drinks are on the house
for the rest of the night until

you pass out?

Are you making fun of me?

No, not you
specifically.

But the day
is still young.

Doyle! Good timing.

You're going to want
to let go of him.

Look at this.

Comfort food.

I hear there's an offer
for someone who can fight.

Boys, why don't
you go say hello?

Sorry, you know,
about before.

I don't like threats

unless I make them.

Now, watch and learn.

Hello, boys.

Okay, I'm impressed.

Okay, and my price
just went up.

You know
what this is?

Where you are?

Yes.

It's a Vedran
burial ground.

This is hallowed ground.

Only true Vedrans
and their families
are buried here.

Vedrans, true souls
of the universe,

in repose here

or maybe
they're just dust.

This is my father

and my mother.

Why would they be buried here?

I mean, they were born
on Tarn Vedra, sure,
but they're not true Vedrans.

Not your mother, no.

I know my father.

He wasn't a true Vedran
any more than I have four legs.

Heard of evolution, have you?

Who says four legs
are better than two?

That's what Vedrans realized,
and evolved into...

Into this.

You're a Vedran?

Like your father.

That's...
That's impossible.

Paradine are evolved Vedrans.

We walk on two legs
through the universes.

Okay, Flavin,
no more riddles.

Riddles?

If I wanted to confuse you,
dear one, oh, how I could.

Why? Huh?

Why do you keep playing
these stupid mind games?

You're out of time.
No, you're out of time.

I'm sick and
tired of this crap.

Now, you tell me what's going on
or get the hell out of my life.

You can walk around saying
you don't know
what a Paradine is,

but you better get moving,
figure it out,

because if "bad"
is a sunny day,

you're in for
third-degree burns.

I'm not even going to
ask what that means.

Go ahead, Beka.

Dylan, looks like Lunah's
bully-boys have caught up to
us again.

You'd better get
back here pronto.

On our way.

She'll kill us all,
Doyle will.

Not me.

I pay you
for protection,
so protect.

Are you dead yet?

Then I'm doing my job.

What I'm wondering,
Rhade, is,

are you afraid of her?

Look, Bozim,

If I'm going to
die tomorrow,

I might as well
enjoy myself today.

Yeah.

While I foot the bill.

That's how we do it
here on Seefra.

Wait a minute.

This is where
we came in.

Where's the cave mouth?
It should be here.

You lead, I follow.
I'm not in this
particular loop.

This is starting
to feel like a test,
and I hate tests.

You're testing yourself.

No, I didn't
bring us here.

Here? Where are we?

It never ends.

Don't seek a path, Dylan.
Let's simply walk together,

neither of us
leading the other.

Fine.

It's Tarn Vedra,

before the fall of
the Commonwealth.

Over 300 years ago,
give or take a handful.

If you walk there,
your family
would be waiting.

Sara?
Is there.

This is your test. Do you know
where in time you are?

Is it before or after
your battle to save
the Commonwealth?

I was in that battle.
It already happened.

Or has yet to happen.

You were there, true, and
you were here and elsewhere.

You're a Paradine, Dylan.
That changes the rules.

No, but...

Trance lifted us
from the battle
with the World Ship.

She took us all through
the Route of Ages.

And placed you where?

Trance had all of you
to track down, to move,
in an instant.

So she got it right,
except for one thing.

Time.

The price just doubled.

I won't pay. Never!

Lunah will.

Then both Doyle and I
are on her side.

Think about it.

You're crazy.

I don't pay that much
for anybody.

Nobody,
not even you.

I'm not nobody.

Wait. All right, all right.

You are low.

Thanks.

That's short.

It's not.

Give a guy a break.

You want the
other key or not?

I'm beginning to think and
wonder whether it's worth it.

First thing,

hide that.

Hide it? Why?

Because Rhade is
about to come looking for it.

Any fool can knock you
over the head and
take it from you.

You've got
to be smart.

Get everyone ready.

And now, the Harper
gets a piece of the action

one key at a time.

Oops!

Bozim, you idiot, give up!

Key number two,
come to papa.

Bingo.

All right, I got both keys,

but I've been thinking,
and now I'm thinking
we need to go 50-50

What? That's robbery.
on all the tech.

Well, it's my way or
the fly-way, chump.

You little thief.
Uh, uh, uh.

Fine.

So, 50-50, right?

50-50? All you did
was steal them.

And delivered you
a message.

All right, fine.

You mean I could have
just shot you for this?

No. You're still programmed
to protect me.

- True.
- I win! I win!

I've got the other key.

Excuse me.
Got to even the score.

Rhade found it in a jar!

I got your key, loser.

Hmm! You lose, pimple-nose.

I've got your key.

Dylan, I'm picking up
some hazy readings.

We haven't lost these guys yet.

Flavin, you sure brought
some craziness down with you.

Beka, you have no idea.

Come on, Beka,
hold it steady.

What do you think
I'm trying to do here?
It's not easy.

Oh, great.
The engine's stuttering.

Thirsty work,
getting killed, huh?

You shut up.

Rhade is the best
I've ever seen.

We're stuck.

Unless...
Unless what?

Doyle may be
even too strong
for me.

I paid you a fortune
to kill her.

You paid me to
get the treasure.
I can still do that.

Are you familiar
with the concept
of sharing?

Sharing?
Mmm.

Mmm, four ways.
With him? You want me
to split two ways?

Rhade and I
get a share.

Five ways.

Not on your life!

You mean your life.

Split the treasure
without killing
each other.

It'll make you
look very smart.

All right.

Okay.

I work with Lunah.

Open the hatch.

Good.

But then we kill her.

And then

we kill him.

Truce.

All right, now,
no one can go
for a weapon.

You will both approach
the craft slowly,

at the same time.

You will insert the key

at the same time.

Liar!
Thief!

I should've killed you
When I had the chance.

Take your best shot, chunky.

It's true.

Trance is the trouble,
you know.

I only talk about
what is true.

Trance is a friend, Flavin.

What can I say?
You're going to wish
she wasn't here.

Dylan, would you like me
to lay in a course
for the Andromeda?

I don't know.

Would I like her
to do that, Flavin?

May I?

On to the present, dear one.

Impressive.

It's my only real home.

For the present.

Hello.

So you're the one who's been
causing Dylan so much trouble.

I think it's you, my dear.

All right, that's enough.

Just tell me
what's going on here.

Tarn Vedra had a sun once,

a great beauty.

Not these two
measly heat lamps.

So when the Vedrans
moved the planet,

they left something behind,

and if you think it's tricky
moving a planet,

wait till you see
what comes next.

I'm going to kill you,
you tub of lard.

You're dead to me,
you hear me?

I want you dead!

Incoming communication
from Harper.

On-screen.

Uh, Dylan, things are getting
a little out of control.

Uh, I mean, uh, Rhade and Doyle

said they could
take care of it,
but, uh, I don't know.

Harper, I'm stuck here.

Well, uh, hello?

Lunah, Bozim, gangsters...

What was the
Vedran word
for "help"?

I mean, we
are still pals,
aren't we?

To the
bitter end, yes.

There's nothing I can do.

Beka's on her way to you.

Great. Great.

Thanks for nothing, pal.
See you in the next life.

Harper terminated.

Bad choice of words.

He's scared.

Harper, duck!

So whatever you
end up with,
I get 50%.

What? You said 30.

That was before
I was being shot at.

Forget it.

I don't have to help.

Fine. Fine. 50%.

50% of 30.

Huh?

I can't get down
to him from here.

Time to
use your heart.

You have what you need, Dylan.

Travel as a Paradine.

With a little help from Trance
and my old wheezy self,

we could probably
give you a head start.

You said she's the problem.

We've come to that space,
dear one, Between what you've
won and what you've lost.

She'll know what to do.

I'm willing to try, Dylan.

That's the spirit.

Operate in the present.

You've got it, dear one.

Let your feelings guide you.

Nothing in here
for either of you.

Well, Flavin was right.

This is a surprise.

But you...

Okay, how did
you get in there?

Just living in the present.

Okay, don't start
talking like Trance.

Tails. Tails.

Tails.

Tails.
That's four in a row.

Actually, it's 57.

Tails.
Trance...

Tails. It's getting boring.

Actually, it's amazing.

Like Flavin said,
some things just are.

Tails.
You and Flavin,

you, uh, were
in on this together,
Weren't you?

I don't think so.

I mean, I don't know him.

He has a sweet face, though.

Tails.

Some things just are, huh?

Like I'm the guy
who puts things right.

I'm the one who has to stay
behind so the Paradine can run

with their tails
between their legs.

Actually, Dylan,
Paradine don't
have tails. Tails.

No, I don't suppose they do.

Tails!

I just get
tired sometimes,
Trance, you know,

I just get tired
of always being
the go-to guy.

Maybe you should take a nap.

Tails.

I think you just hit it
right on the head.

No. Actually, tails.

It's so simple
when you put it like that.

It is what it is.

Thank you, Trance.

You're welcome.