Andromeda (2000–2005): Season 3, Episode 7 - The Leper's Kiss - full transcript

Rommie, you are
completely aware
that we are receiving

a top-secret
classified communication

from one of
the Commonwealth's
founding fathers?

Hey, not just any
founding father.

We're talking about
the guy who led

the Kalderan
containment campaign

and single-handedly
brought seven systems

to the Commonwealth.

Yeah, and created a universe
where Perseid boys and girls

can hold hands with
little Magog children

and skip happily ever after
through the garden
as brothers and sisters.



Sorry, but as far as
I'm concerned,

there's only one
Commonwealth founding father.

Something's up,
something important.

I'll not let you listen in.
That's not fair.
You're listening in.

I am not.

Oh, come on,
Rom-doll.

I know that look
on your face.

They're using your interface
communications network, right?

Come on. You've got
the home court advantage.

They're using a relay drone,
so even I can't listen in.

Convenient.

Hmm.

Oh, it was your fault.

I mean, we're in
a Nightsiders bar,
you turn off their music,



and then you start singing
High Guard battle songs.

Of course they threw
things at you.

Hey. Well, I didn't exactly
see you diving for cover.

Well, like I had a choice.

You know, lucky for you,
I fight better than you sing.

Okay, what's up?

You didn't send
a classified security drone
to talk about this.

My intelligence sources
have learned about
an assassination attempt

on one of the planets
in my region.

And you've informed
the Commonwealth, right?

I can't trust bureaucrats
on this.

The assassin
behind the attempt

is the Leper.

Well, you say that
like I should know him.

I'm sending you his dossier.

The Leper is determined,
ruthless, and elusive.

Brilliant.

Yeah, well, the Leper
hasn't met my crew.

Dylan,

you can't share the intel
of what I'm about to give you

with your crew,

except on a need-to-know basis.

Forget it.
I tell them everything.

I'm asking you,
don't tell them everything.

If the Leper
learns about this,

even by accident,

he will disappear
without a trace,

and next time,
we won't be able
to stop him.

For the sake
of the Commonwealth

and the life
of the Leper's target,

I need your word
on this one, Dylan.
Don't ask me to do this.

Don't make me plead, Dylan.

It's unbecoming
in a politician.

So you're
a politician now, huh?

You bet.

I'm talking
about the Commonwealth.

I'm listening.

Give me your word.

You have my word.

So, who is the Leper's target?

Me.

The Universe
is a dangerous place.

But in our future,

my crew and I fight
to make it safe.

I am Dylan Hunt,

Captain of
the Andromeda Ascendant,

and these are our adventures.

Look, I trust you
with my life,

but the less information
out there, the better.

Everything is need-to-know.

But why accept this mission?
Can you tell us that?

Marshal Man-ka-lupe
is a friend,

and he's next in line
to become first Triumvir
of the Commonwealth.

And how did he find out
about this attempt on his life?

I can't tell you.

Will we have any contacts?

Any help?
I can't tell you.

You can't tell me,
I can't help you.
Consider that.

I think what Tyr
is trying to say

is that don't you think
it would be helpful
to know something?

We need to know
something, anything.

I mean, how long do we have
To stop this Leper guy?

Well, you see, now,
that I can tell you.

Wait. I can't tell you.

Uh, Andromeda?

I just found it.

The Festival of Quella occurs
at the start of their
planet's vernal equinox

at the stroke of midnight.

You have only 72 hours.

See? 72 hours.

72 hours...

Great.

Ha. The Leper is
rumored to have carried out

the assassinations
of Doge Berring--

The Chichin
crowned prince?

I thought he died
in an accident.

A very
efficient accident.

He fell from a height
of 75 meters
onto a hard surface.

No witnesses.

Sylvian president Lord David.

Well, we all know that he died
of a massive heart attack

in the bed of his paramour...

who then shot herself,
no witnesses.

Oh.

The list continues

with a dozen other
high-profile hits

And "accidents"
in three galaxies.

There's no political
or military connection
between any of these.

Who does he work for?
The highest bidder.

Tyr knows him.

Well, no.

Might we just say
I certainly know his type?

Yes, the type
that never leaves a trace.

I think I can
tell you this.

Whoever our assassin is,

I seriously doubt
he has any family

or financial attachments.

Or need for emotional closure
of any sort, for that matter.

We are still talking
about the Leper, right?

I think so.

So, how are we going to get
any traction on this Leper

if no one's ever seen him?

I've been given
a contact.

Need-to-know.

Eureka Maru,
this is Cassius Drift control.

Proceed to docking bay 11.

So your contact's
on Cassius Drift?

Yeah.

Dylan, if you're not
gonna tell us anything
about this mission,

why did you even
bring us along?

Because eventually,
I will need your help.

When?

I'll tell you when.

It's safer that way.

Safer? For who?

I'll be right back.

Just don't do anything
that tips off the Leper, okay?

I couldn't if I tried.

So, who do you think
Dylan's contact is?

Your guess is
as good as mine.

Nietzschean.

Some disgruntled
ex-partner of the Leper's,
I suppose?

I don't know.
Tyr, you're
not even trying.

I think it's someone who knows
the Leper better than that.

I bet it's an ex-girlfriend.

Come on. Let's go.
Where are we going?

We're going to be
conducting interviews.

About what?

Right. More information.

As far as everyone on
Cassius Drift is concerned,

we work with the Leper,

and we're on Cassius Drift...

hiring talent
for an assassination.

Okay...

No "eliminations" per se,

but I do a lot of
drift invasion robberies,

bank and treasury bombings.

I love explosions.

I-- I'm sorry,
we're not really
looking for a team.

Mass food supply poisoning,

environmental sabotage,

uh...

What's your price?

You can't afford my price...

I hope.

Did I mention
that I did something
to the Nightsiders

they're not so crazy about?

You've got the job.

What do you know?
He picked the girl.

I got the job?

Mm-hmm.

Everybody, get down!
Move down!

Is there something
we need to know?

Disgruntled partner.

You're kidding.
Did you catch
the anger issues?

Definitely jilted girlfriend.

You're both wrong.

She's the Leper's sister.

She's the Leper's sister.

We definitely can't trust her.

If you'd informed us
of this earlier,

we would've strongly
advised you against it.

Well, that's why I didn't
inform you earlier.

Now, if you'll
excuse me,

I have to speak
with our guest.

Siblings in crime...
this could get complicated.

I wonder what else he thinks
we don't need to know
about this mission.

I thought you worked
for my brother.

By killing you,
I'd send him a message.

You need to work on
your communication skills.

That's why you came
looking for me, isn't it?

Even Ka-Lupe's intelligence
knows how much
I hate my brother.

They don't know why
you hate him.

One day,

my brother and I
came home from school

and found every member
of our family,

my mother, father,
my older sister...

dead.

I guess my father's work
finally caught up with him.

But you and
your brother escaped.

Yeah, two kids traveling
the galaxies together.

It would have been romantic
if we weren't
brother and sister.

We wore disguises
and pulled different
contract jobs,

extortion, grifting,
the occasional hit...

things our father taught us.

Good old family values, huh?

What kept me going,

what really kept me
up at night thinking...

was finding the bastard
who murdered our family.

And then I found him.

He'd been with you all along.

My brother, the Leper.

He'd hired out to one of
our father's dissatisfied
former employers.

Your father
would have been proud.

You can prepare yourself
for every betrayal.

Somehow, there's
always that one
that still gets you.

Somehow.

Sasha,

I need to know
how your brother works.

Everything he needs,
he improvises at the site.

All planning is mental.

His gun is one of a kind,

a long-range, feather-weight
silenced Gauss gun

built to his own specs...

Easily disguised
for other purposes.

To match his false identity.

By now,

he's indistinguishable
from any local
Lundmark citizen.

Even the ones who meet,

who fall in love.

He'll use anything, anyone.

He doesn't care,

as long as it helps him find
just the right firing point...

A clean shot...

unseen...

aloof...

and he never leaves a trace.

My brother's heart has room
for no other conviction
than this one...

that death
must be absolutely certain.

Dylan? Cockpit.

Excuse me.

What's up?

Okay, good news
and bad news.

Bad news first.

We've managed to avoid
the slavers and the pirates.

I'm gonna have to go
with that being
the good news?

Yeah. Lundmark
is a trinary star system
with eccentric orbits.

Ah.

If our transit is off
by a fraction,

we will dump
into one of the outer
gas giants.

Assuming we can avoid
detection by Lundmark's
deep-space defense probes.

You know, maybe...

maybe we can
avoid detection.

Okay, going
for slipstream.

Maybe we can't.
Beka, hard 180.

Lundmark is scrambling
their defense fleet.

They have got us
surrounded.

They must have been
hiding in the corona.

No fair. That's our trick.

Beka, slipstream.

Okay, here goes.

All right, we've got to
find a way back
to that planet.

If we return,
we can expect an ambush.

If we stay, the Leper wins,
and I won't let my friend die.

Well, there's only
one way back.

I know
another way.

His name is Crescent.

Let me guess.
He wears a pointy hat
and waves a magic wand

that makes us invisible
to their probes.

He navigates the back routes
into the Lundmark system
for a living.

There are no back routes.

You're wrong.

Crescent's our only hope.

Between the grav waves
and the radiation,

everything in that space soup
is micro-dust or glows.

I don't have a death wish.

I'm just here
because you'll
kill my brother,

and I get to be there
when you do.

I'll tell you how
to get there,

slip-point by slip-point.

You'll tell us
before we go.

I'll tell you only
what you need to know

when you need to know it.

It doesn't work that way.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Virgil system,

and our final destination,
according to our
spirit guide, Sasha.

There appears to be
some sort of Drift

three light-minutes
from here.

I take it that's where
we find Crescent?

You take it correctly.

Hmm.

Beka?
All ahead, full.

What kind
of Drift is this?

It's the kind of Drift
with armed guards
and point-defense lasers.

Crescent is in a prison.

At least not
a Commonwealth prison.

Do pray tell, what sort
of a prison is it?

It's privately owned
by a mobster
named Gunyon.

Crescent's still the only way
you'll get to my brother.

We only have 24 hours.

So we bust him out.

It's never easy.

Eureka Maru,
cargo vessel, C class,

preparing to dock.

Back off!

I already know
what you are.

I want to know
who you are.

What do you want
to bet they don't even
have a gift shop?

This is Rebecca Valentine,
driver for--

Mr. And Mrs. Averell Port.

Who's Averell Port?

A 345-year-old
after-dinner drink.

Last time I had one was, um...

the last time I had one
was on Tarn-Vedra.

Tarn-Vedra?
How old are you?

Long story.

Let's focus
on the short story.

Right.

We're married.
Mm-hmm.

We're in love.

We're here to visit
my Uncle Crescent
on his fiftieth birthday.

Very good.

Don't you think

I should give my uncle
his present?

You know, if it really was
a boxed set of holo-novels,
I would say yes,

but since it's actually
a modified photon bomb,

I think I'll carry it.

You are so sexy

when you're going to
blow something up.

Really?

I'm not playing you.

Hmm.

You could be using me
to bust your friend
out of prison,

and the two of you take off
before I get the chance
to find your brother.

I'm doing this for
the most powerful reason
known to man.

Which is?

Pure, unadulterated hate.

Ah.

I hate my brother...

even more than
I love kissing you.

Okay, Dylan,
we're clear to dock.

Well, it's good
to have priorities.

We'll give them an hour,
then meet them at
the rendezvous point.

Sure. Why not?

So you don't trust
this Sasha's intentions either?

Wasn't there a time
when you threatened
to kill your own brother?

Rafe?

Rafe stole my ship.

He stole my entire
music collection.
I always want to kill him.

But no, I don't actually
want to kill him.

I don't buy it.

I'm inclined to concur.

You only turn 50 once.

And so sad if you're
stuck in a wormhole.

I mean, you should
be allowed to have fun.

And Judy hasn't seen
her uncle Crescent since
she was eight years old.

Actually, when I was seven,
Uncle Crescent bought me
a sweet tinker pony.

Remember the kind
like a cute
little high-pitched voice?

Oh, great.
There goes the surprise.

I wanted to
give it to Unkie...

Now look what
you've done.

Really, we just want
to get in there,

give him the present,
and get out.

Come on. Please?

Please?

Let them in.

It's okay, sweetie.

Oh, honeybunny,
here we go.

Thank you.

It's okay. Here we go.

Yes...

So, what do you think, hubby?

Cameras.

Excuse me,

Isn't this a High Guard
battleship from
the old Commonwealth?

Yes.

Well, I just love
what you've done
with the place.

Unkie?

Unkie!

Sweetie!

My sweet, sweet...

Judy.

Judy!

Judy, you still
haven't introduced me
to your uncle yet.

Right. Unkie, this is
my new husband,
Averell Port.

Averell Port.

That's right.

Uh, could we have
some privacy, please?

No.

Okay.

Uncle Crescent...

Gunyon's watching us.

Okay.

You know, I've heard
so much about you,
all your adventures--

My smuggling?

Well, I'll tell you, Averell,
if I'd have known
the stuff belonged to Gunyon,

I never would have tried
to sell it back to him.

It was simply wrong.

Well, maybe Mr. Gunyon
should at least forgive you.

I mean, after all,
it is your 50th birthday.

50?

I can't catch a break.

What?

Before you came,
the guards asked me
how old I was.

I said "in six months,
I'll be 57."

They were checking
your story.

Uh, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you two
get behind the bed?

What are you doing?

Lighting your birthday cake.

It's not a good place
to stand guys...

Come on, Unkie.

This way. Go.
Get them! Get them!

Gun!

Aah!

Aah!

Let's go!

Damn!

Hello, Captain Hunt.

Ooh.

Things are so bad
on the hero front,

you're helping
a low-rent hustler
like Crescent?

Allow me to
introduce myself.

I am Gunyon.

All right, Gunyon.

Let's make a deal.

Deal? Okay. Here's a deal.

I fill the corridor with
nerve gas, killing you all
in 15, maybe 17 seconds,

Or you do me
one small favor.

What's the favor?

Kill these two intruders
we found on
a little salvage ship.

Better talk
if you want to walk.

Hear the clock?

Tick-tock.

I have nothing to say.
I'll just shoot them.

You were supposed to
wait for us at
the rendezvous point.

Good thing we decided
to rescue you instead, huh?

Oh...

Sorry.

Aah!

How the hell do we
get out of here?

Yeah, how the hell
do we get out of here?

You think I know?

You've been here
for seven months.

In a frickin' cell!

We're going in circles.

Freeze!

Hold it.

Lower your weapons.

To think you founded
a Commonwealth

with such a bad sense
of direction.

You know,

as much as I'm feared,

I really do hate
killing people.

But, then,

it's the only way you can
get people to fear you.

Gas them.
Wait. Gunyon,

I know a way you
can get people
to really fear you.

I bet you've got
a thousand and one nights
worth of ideas

while you're buying time.

We're all headed
for the planet Lundmark

to kill an assassin
known as the Leper.

You're going to kill
the Leper?

Yeah, but
the mission is secret,

which means
we can't take credit
for the Leper's death.

But if I let you kill him,
I take the credit.

I like that.

Well, you're asking me
to trust you.

What the...

Oh, yeah...

the Nebula.

I call it Dragon's Breath.

We can go around it,
but it'll take days.

We don't have days.
We have 12 hours.

All right.

Playing through.

The Victory Plaza's
nine kilometers square.

Ka-Lupe will be
speaking here.

Fast-forward to the part
where you kill my brother,

and then we check into
the Lundmark True Royal Hotel

to consummate
our pretend marriage.

The Lundmark
True Royal Hotel. Hmm.

You couldn't possibly know
about that hotel.

What? What's the big deal?
It's a hotel.

Lundmark's not exactly
a tourist destination.

Ka-Lupe's intelligence
told me about it.

Who do you think
informed them
about the assassination

in the first place?

Okay, I've been
communicating
with my brother.

I didn't tell Ka-Lupe's
intelligence service.

They'd think I'm working
with my brother.

I might be thinking
the same thing.

Don't act surprised.

I am using you
just like you're using me,

to get to my brother.

Oh, come on, Dylan.

You didn't tell everyone
everything either.

Your crew's resented you
for it since we left
the Cassius Drift.

You don't know my crew.

I know you.

You are protecting yourself.

I can see it.

So just imagine
a scared 15-year-old girl

relying on her big brother
for everything

until the day she realizes
he'd stab her in the back

just to see
if the knife's sharp.

Well excuse me
if I don't want anyone
to betray me again.

Not even you.

I know what you're thinking.

Blood is thicker than water.

It's also a lot tougher
to clean up.

Juke right!

Juke right!

No! That'll take us
into a radiation shower.

Better than
a trash compactor.

The AG is at 110% capacity.

If the AG breaks,
it'll shred us,
cell by cell.

Just spin right.

Did you not just hear me?

Did you not just hear me?
I've done this before.

Beka!

Sorry about that.
Forgot to warn you.

Hang on.

The end of it.

The worst of it...

And we survived.

And you've done this before
how many times?

Only once before.

Sasha told us
you made your living
on the back routes.

Did she?

Yeah, she did.

Now, you listen to me,
you old clown.

I did not nearly
die for you
in that prison

so that you could kill me
on this planet.

The Leper hired you,
and you are both still
on his payroll, are you not?

I did this once,
just once,

for her brother.

That's how Sasha
found out about me.

But she hates him,
she really does hate him.

And she will kill him
if you just give her
half a chance.

Take us in.

Yeah.

All right, everybody,
listen up.

You remember the plan?

Throw it out. New plan.

Dylan, we've got two hours
to make a three-hour
journey to the plaza.

Well, basically,
the plan is the same.

We still go to the plaza,
but Sasha and Crescent
will stay here on board.

It's for your safety.

Just make sure you kill him.

Don't worry.
You'll get your body.

Let's move out.

Dylan...

You're leaving those two
on the ship because you think

they're in league
with the Leper, right?

I think Sasha is the Leper.

So you're sure
that Sasha's the Leper?

I know.
I'm not supposed to know.
I want to know.

If she really wanted to
see her brother get caught--

Killed.

Killed,

She would have argued
to come along with us.

So you made her stay
on the Maru?

Yeah, and made it easier
for her to carry out
the assassination without us.

If she leaves the Maru,
she's the Leper.

And here she is.

Here we go. Tyr.

So, uh, wouldn't now
be a good time
to arrest them?

If I'm wrong,
the real Leper's
out in position.

We've got to know for sure.

We've got 33 minutes
to figure that out.

Sasha will tell me.
She's my compass.

"My compass"?

All security units
proceed to main plaza
immediately.

I took a wander
around the hotel.

There are only
a few rooms
facing the plaza

that would provide
a good firing point.

Sasha told me that her brother
improvises everything on-site.

So...

I don't know.

Tyr, Beka, follow Crescent.

You lied to me.

Yeah, I did,

because you'd
have killed me
on that ship.

I'll kill you now.

Is she the Leper?

Sasha...

Sasha is...

My fellow citizens
of Lundmark...

Sasha...

What are you doing?

I went back to the ship.
I've been looking
all over for you.

Dylan, I know you said
to stay on the ship--

Shh.

I'm glad you're here.

We could use
your help.

Have you seen Beka or Tyr?

I can't find them anywhere.
The last time I saw them,

they were headed
for the hotel.

You wouldn't lose your crew.

You fight a lot better
than you did on Cassius Drift.

I was pretending
I couldn't fight.

Sasha,

you disappoint me.

Why won't you let me kill him?

Kill who?

Your brother? Or the Marshal?

Dylan?

Dylan, come in.

Dylan, come in. Come in.

Dylan, come in.

Dylan, the clock's ticking.
The marshal's on the podium.
Do you read me?

Dylan, come in. Come in.

Beka...

Take her out.

Well, my fellow citizens,

let me say this about that.

The new Commonwealth
will create wealth, power,

to all the member systems.

We all can share
in their power.

...guiding our path
into the future.

All my life
I've had to be
someone else,

always shedding my skin
for the next new disguise...

until you started chasing me.

For a moment,

for a very brief moment,

I stopped pretending.

You were always
pretending, Sasha,

about your brother,

about everything.

You wanna know
why you're the only one
in the universe

that could catch me?

I saw your face when
we went through that nebula,

and I realized
you aren't afraid of death.

What you saw...

was faith,

and a belief
in doing the right thing.

I'll see you again, Dylan.

In another life.

I'll tell you, Dylan,
that was the longest
night of my life.

Thank you.

Come on.

Longer than that night
we spent in jail
after the bar fight?

Hey, you didn't like it,
you could have told them
who you were.

You weren't pulling rank.
No reason I should.

True.

You know,
in my administration,

I could use a man
like you.

Yeah, no thanks.
I've been there.

You take care.

Dylan out.

I can see
why you like him.

You two are cut
from the same cloth.

Really?
Yeah.

Well, I would like to think
that my cloth
has a few less wrinkles.

Dylan...

Commonwealth security
transmitting says Sasha just
escaped from their prison.

That's impossible.
No one escapes from
a Commonwealth prison.

She had help.

Who?

Her brother.