Andromeda (2000–2005): Season 1, Episode 14 - Harper 2.0 - full transcript

Andromeda, this is
the Euraku Maru

en route from
Drift Colony Segas 4.

Our belly's full, and our
ETA to bay is 20 minutes.

You've got to love
one-stop shopping.

We have enough parts
now to roam
the entire Milky Way.

Hello! Command
to Harper.
Huh?

Huh?
What's the matter
with you?

Dierdre.
My Drift-rock darlin'.

My Irish Creme.
My destiny.

Your destiny. Right.
Never mind she couldn't speak
a word of Common,

and you don't know any Celtic,



or, whatever that
dead language is.

Oh, yeah? Try me.

Uh...
Bra ist un caparu.

Love is our language.

Actually, love is your sandwich,
but thanks for playing.

Whatever, okay?

We shared this thing...this

um, cosmic connection.

You shared half a dozen whiskies
and a zero-gravity rumba.

Ist bra limolay?
What do you know
about love?

Harper, you're hopeless.
You can barely conjugate Common.

Who cares about being
grammatically correct.
All I want to do is...

Whoa!

Collision Alert.
Collision Alert.



We have a small object
coming in off the starboard bow.

Airlock.
Airlock.

It's a... killer beach ball.

There's somebody inside.

Okay.
Don't just stand there.
Open it.

What?
No. You open it.

Have I mentioned that
I'm overdue for a raise?

Yeah, yeah,
I'll cover you.

Ow!

Here. Hold that,
would ya?

Yum. That's great.

It's a Perseid.

Gift-wrapped, too.

Easy. Easy.
Deep breaths.

Oh, man, he's...

Let's get him out of here.
He's bleeding bad.

Come on.
Okay, Okay, down we go.

Okay, keep pressure on
the wound. We gotta get him
back to the Andromeda.

Hey, who shot you?

Save. Must save.

We're doing the
best we can, pal.
Hang in there.

Hey!

Harper!

I'm on fire!
I'm on fire!
I'm on fire!

No. No. No fire. No fire.
You're okay. You're okay.

What happened?

I don't know,
but, I don't think you
got the worst of it.

The long night has come

The system Commonwealth,

the greatest civilization
in history has fallen,

but, now one ship,
one crew

have vowed to drive back
the night,

and rekindle the
light of civilization.

On the starship Andromeda
hope lives again

So, what's the verdict?

He's dead.

Yeah, I meant
what killed him?

What didn't kill him?

He's got stab wounds,
laser and radiation burns

this appears to be
some sort of
residual neurotoxin

and these pinpoint wounds,
I've never seen anything
like them.

It's weird. Perseids can
be annoying, but, this is
just ridiculous.

Well, aside from a major
bump on the head and

and a minor burn around
the cerebral port, he's fine.

Fine? I was practically
electrocuted.
I can still see little dots.

Why do you think
he attacked you?

Jealous of my
good looks, maybe?

I don't know.
No rhyme or reason,

he just opened up wide,
clamped down, and zap, major
electrical discharge.

I could smell the ozone.

Man, I'm feeling twitchy.

Maybe you better run
a spectral analysis on
my nervous system,

check my norepinephrine levels,
and see if I've been affected
by any kind of stimulant.

Um...
since when did you pick
up medicine as a hobby?

Captain, I've
got an unidentified vessel
approaching.

They're requesting
communication.

I'm on my way.

Watch him.

I'm Marshal Jeger, Senior
Dispatch Officer with the
Intergalactic Apprehension

and Procurement Service.

In other words,
a bounty hunter.

If you like.

What can I do for
you, Marshal?

Your ship took on a fugitive,
a Perseid named Renvik,

I have a warrant
for his arrest.

Really.

What are the charges
against this fugitive?

Theft.

Shall I transmit the
warrant to you?

Transmit away.
But, you're wasting
your time.

Your fugitive is dead.

Dead? You're certain?

Dead certain.

I still would like to
examine the body.

I must locate some
missing items.

Renvik's corpse may tell
me where they are.

I'll look at your warrant
and consider your request.

Please cooperate, Captain.

The Service dislikes people
who protect fugitives,

even dead ones.

I hate people like Jeger.
They strut around like the
long arm of the law.

They act like they
own the place.

They're really just bottom
feeders who'll do anything
for the highest bidder.

Maybe so, but in this case,
the Marshal's warrant seems
to be in order.

Don't tell me you're
thinking of giving in
to him.

Beka, if the Perseid were
alive, I'd conduct an
extradition hearing

but, I'm not gonna
start a fight
over a corpse.

How did the thief die?

He self-electrocuted.

Almost killed my engineer.

Really?

Really.

Have we ever met?
You look familiar.

You don't.

Maybe around the
Tidus Asteroid Belt.

Who knows? After a while,
all you badges start to
look the same.

Thank you, Captain.

Your cooperation
will be duly noted.

This search mode would
be more effective if I had
specific information to go on.

I can't give you a time
or place, Rommie.

All I know is that I've
seen that symbol before.

No. No.
No. No

Wait, wait! Hold it!
Back up.

There.

That's it.

It's an insignia for the Special
Collections division of the All
Systems University.

Our Perseid
was a librarian?

Apparently.

This symbol was only used
by their senior researchers.

So, the question is...

what did he have that
was worth dying for?

Hey! What's up, Rommie?
Romalom, Romalowski,
Read Only Memory?

A simple Rommie
will suffice.

Are you alright, Harper?
I'm detecting an elevation in
your heart and breathing rate

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm
detecting a fritz in your
central power relays

and I can fix you.
I can.

I can fix everything on board.

The, uh, ventilation system
on deck 19 could definitely
use an upgrade.

Phew.
Could you?
Thanks

Harper, slow down

Sorry, I can't. I'm a little,
uh, wired... no, rewired... no,

cross-wired... cross-eyed!
I didn't get any sleep
last night.

I've been having these rancid

nightmares, visions,
whatever you want to
call them.

Anyway, I thought
"Why dwell in hell.
Get busy!"

What are you building?

Ah! It's a bird,
it's a plane

it's...ah,
you tell me and
we'll both know

Meanwhile, " Cona sa sei amac,
anan bac, dochaygat"

Irish Gaelic. Earth based.
An adaptive form.

You're making seductive
overtures to me
in a dead language?

Hey, it's not dead the
way I speak it, baby.
Il dit mon coeur.

And French.
Harper, what has
gotten into you?

Ru Olyev Olyev Sfinki.

And now, Perseid. Harper,
I had no idea you were such
a cunning linguist.

Love speaks in all
tongues, baby.

Wait! That's it!

You know what we need?
Some kind of nano-doohickey
that can let a person

understand any
language they hear.

No, no, no... speak any
language they hear.

We'll start with Old Irish
from your language archives!

We'll reconfigure it into
an implanted
audio-linguistic relay. Why not?

All I have to do is downsize
and upgrade some,
uh, voice activation

sensors so they can correlate
with the proper pronunciation
and vibrato and,

uh, while I'm at it, no offense,
but the pixelation in your
holo-imaging matrix

could use a little
fine-tuning.

Yes!
Sa say go ha-len!
The doctor is in!

They are missing.

I don't know where they are.

They must be on
that salvage ship.

I'll find them.

I'll find them!

* She'll be comin' around
Don ber von zi comt

* Elle viendra autours la
Montagne quand elle vient

* Et elle viendra arrivador
Des la montaigne

Vora en toro a la montaigne

Istra vindra o toro
Des la montaigne.
When she comes.

What's he doing?

I don't think he knows.

Since last night, he's
started and abandoned dozens
of projects and upgrades.

Although, I must say, the ones
he's performed on moi c'est
tres magnifique.

You're speaking French now?

Oui.
Per his request.

Harper speaking in tongues.
You gotta be kidding.

Can't say I
recognize the tune.

It's an old Earth folk tune,

in let's see, Than,
Perseid, Harulian...

and that would be Vedran.

We, uh, better
go talk to him?

We better
go talk to him.

Good morning, Mr. Harper.

Morning!
Morning!
Morning!

Two little syllables, so many
different meanings.

Ah, yes. In this case,
it just means "Hello".

I wanted to see
your new project.

It looks interesting.

Yeah, she's a
beauty, isn't she?

Breath-taking.
What is it?

Uh... it's an authentic
recreational recreation of a...

big surprise?

Uh-huh, and what's the status

on the rest of the projects?

Projects?

Harper, this is Dylan's
pilot way of asking

"What the hell's this mess?"

Ah! It's only a mess to
the uninformed eye!

Then maybe you
should enlighten us.

Enlighten you? Uh...
the Divine is good,
don't do Flash, and if

you're nice to people,
they probably still won't
be nice to you.

Now run along, kids,
Daddy's working.

I'm calling a time out.

Harper, are you...

Harper?

Get away from me!

Harper...Harper,
are you...

Get away from me!
Harper,

if I have offended you
in some manner...

You're not gonna get me!

Harper, just put it down.

Dylan, it's alright.
I'll leave.

Harper, what's the matter
with you? It's Rev!

Magog!

Oh, sure, he acts like
he's our friend now,
but one day

he'll turn.
They all do.
They're wild.

Med Deck.

Come on.

Look at those brainwave
fluctuations.

I have never seen
anything like it.

I could say the same thing
about you, Trance.

Why don't we do you next?

Knock it off, Harper.
This is about you.

Me? No, why me? She's much
more interesting.
An enigma,

wrapped up in a riddle,
with a tail in the middle.

It's alright, I forgive you.
He's not been himself today.

It's like he's overloaded.

That Perseid.

According to Dylan,
the Perseid

had the insignia of the
All Systems University
on his finger.

Special Collections Division.
If he was carrying some kind of

data archive...

Brilliant!
A bio-electronic transfer
into my dataport!

He must've used some
kind of pulse signal.

A modified Sub-Vocal
Transmitter!

Where's he going?
Harper!

I could build one of those.
It'll have to be small, though.

Like, uh, really small.
Like, uh, miniature.

I could reconfigure
some of Rommie's
maintenance nanobots!

I'm sure you could.

How do we get that
stuff out of him?

I have no idea.

It's all mixed up in
his neural matrix.

Whoa! Whoa! Stop.
Halt. Arrete.

Okay, the last time I checked,
possession was still, uh, nine
tenths of the law, okay?

My brain, my data.

If, uh, uh, you try to mine
my mind, I'll mind my mind.
Nein?

Harper, you don't even know
what you've got, do you?

I know I've got...
something.

Something I never had before.
Knowledge. Creativity.

Power. I mean,
before I was just a...

Harper!

Ice cream headache!

My brain attempting
to execute some serious
compressions.

A small price
to pay for gone.

Harper, you have no idea
what this could do to you!

You're already suffering
from insomnia and nightmares.

You could have a stroke,
or a cerebral hemorrhage.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay?
I have the entire Commonwealth
medical archive in here.

Which makes me a superior
diagnostician to you.

So, as the, uh, senior
medical expert here,
I can tell you,

I am not gonna have
a stroke, okay?

Now, are we through here?

I don't know, Dr. Harper,
are we? Yes!

I think we are!
Uh, meeting adjourned!

So, you checked yourself
out of Med Deck to what?

Build a missile?
No!

Although it does fly
through the air,

and it is a major blast
from Earth's past,
so the, uh,

more liberally literal
may call it a missile, but no.

Rom-doll,
what you are looking
at is a Harper classic,

an authentic
replication of the X-1.

The Glamorous Glennis?
The first human flight
module to break the

uh...
speed of sound.

An aeronautical antique.

Yeah.
How artificially astute.

Goin' back three millenia,
1947, old Earth calendar,
to be exact.

I have tech manuals, Rommie.

The originals.
Right out of the official
factory records!

Uh, flight tests.
Specs. The works.

How are you able
to access them?

How did you even know
that they were in... there?

I just... had a vision.
I get a lot of them lately.

Harper, you look exhausted.

Yeah, well, the mind
leads, the body follows.

Your mind should
lead you to bed.

Bed! Now, uh,
there's an idea.

I know. You mean sleep.

I will. I'll try.
I'll get some sleep

just as soon as I can
find the On/Off button.

Now, if you don't mind,
I'm trying to concentrate.

I tried.

If he doesn't want to rest,
he doesn't want to rest.

Tyr! Hangar Deck 5!
Now!

You should have taken
your friend's advice.

It's quitting time.

Help! Somebody help!

Stop squirming.

I'm not going anywhere
with you!

I don't need all of
you. Just this.

Hey!

He's below us!

Phase density shifting.

Tricky! Tricky.

He'll be back.

What's Harper doing?

He's currently in his quarters.
I've run a complete sensor

sweep. All decks are clear.
No sign of the intruder.

Although I am detecting
emission residue beginning
at Hangar 14

and leading straight
down to the keel.

He passed right through
that bulkhead
like it wasn't even there.

And he knows about Harper.

Whatever Harper's got
seems to be worth
killing for.

Any idea what it might be?

My recent upgrades
suggest Harper has
access to the latest

quantum and neutrino
based engineering platforms.

He wants weaponry.

Not necessarily.
What about...

Rommie, what the hell hit us?

Running recon.

I don't know, but
whatever it was hurt.

My hull integrity
is compromised.

Data relays are down,
and damage is extensive.

Harper's calling in from
the affected area.

Harper, report!

Not good! Machine
shop 15 is gone.

What do you mean, gone?

I mean gone,
Vamoose, Arrivederci.

We got a hole the
size of Kansas bored right
through this whole ship.

Don't look now, kids,
but I think we're up
against,

uh, your friendly
neighborhood PSP.

A Point Singularity Projector.
A weapon that fires miniature
black holes.

Whoever Jeger's working
for, they sure gave him
some good toys.

Toys I don't want to play
with right now!
Take us into slipstream.

We need to find a place
to lay low for repairs.

No, no, no, no, no, Dylan don't.
That thing didn't just take out
the machine shop.

Part of it went right through
the slip-field generator.

If we try to 'stream now...

The whole ship will come apart.

Okay, we're gonna have to cut
a circular incision around the

PSP's path of impact,
and we'll need laser torches.

Uh, we're gonna have to, uh,

replace those central
support struts.

I'll see if I can tear
some out of the old
crew quarters.

Perhaps I could be
of some assistance.

Come on, you bloodsucker!

Harper, look at me!
I am not your enemy!

And I'm not your
next meal!

Murderer!
Rapist!

Harper, I will not fight you.

Even better.

Harper, back off!

Harper, you do not mean that.

You do not mean that.

Rev! Rev!

Rev, the Way.
Remember the Way.

It's okay. It's okay, Harper.

It's all over.

I'm good. I'm good.

Harper! Harper,
try to calm down!

You try to be calm when
your brain
is exploding with fire!

There must be
something we can do.

Beka, I am all out of options.

The only person who
can help Harper
right now is Harper.

Download! I have to download!
I gotta dump this Perseid
baggage into a file.

File and forget!

A neuro chemical file.

Neuro chemical file...
how would I open
that? Where?

Okay, I got the
technique right here.

Um...the key component
is AB Gamma... Hey,

uh,
you getting any of this down?

Shh...

So this will work?

He says it will.

He's ready.

Okay, let's give it a try.

Hit it, Trance.

Activating transfer.

It's working.

I'm reading a massive
data transfer.

The machinery is isolating
and copying the information

that the Perseid downloaded
into Harper so we can erase
it when we're done.

Trance, what's going on?

It looks like the process is
disrupting the electrical
patterns in Harper's cerebellum.

Well, then make it stop!

I'm trying.
Come on, Harper.

Hang on.

Okay. He's stabilizing.

What happened?

We only got a
partial impression.

It looks like a few
hundred gigabytes
of information, at best.

Is he going to be alright?

He's stable.

Keep him that way.

When he wakes up,
leave these things on.

I don't want him
hurting himself
or, going after Rev.

Beka, let's see
what we've got.

Welcome to Harper's nightmares.

What would a Perseid
librarian want with this?

I don't know.
But I think I know
where to start looking.

Harper has always
hated the Magog

but he never had a
problem with Rev Bem
until he received that data.

Huh... Andromeda,
search the downloads
for images of Magog.

Searching.
Records located.

Commonwealth Year 9766 1017.
This is...

Brandenburg Tor.
3 billion dead

in less than five days.

And the beginning of the end
for the Systems' Commonwealth.

Which makes this an
eyewitness recording
of one of the most

important events in
recent history.

But there's only one problem.

It's worthless.
None of these records is unique.

Everyone knows what
happened on Brandenburg.

It's not like there's a vast
conspiracy to cover the crimes
of the Magog.

Quite true.

In fact, most of my people

are unrepentant.

They look on
Brandenburg Tor with

pride.

So, this may be what's
making Harper nuts

but it can't be what
Jeger's looking for.

There's something here.

I can feel it.

Harper...
Harper, I

I have seen your nightmares

and I understand
my role in them.

Please.

Please, Harper,

accept my apology.

Forgive me.

It's not you, Rev.

It's just, every
time I look at you

all I can see is
people dying.
Bodies, massacre.

I got a lifetime of nightmares
knocking around inside my skull

and I can't do
anything to hold 'em in.

All I ever wanted was
to know things, you know?
How they worked,

where they came from.

And now I do,
and all I can see

over, and over,
and over again,

is people dying.
What do I do, Rev?

How do I make it stop?

You need the one thing
that all your knowledge
cannot provide.

Wisdom.

Wisdom. Great.

Show me the yellow
brick road, Mr. Wizard.
How do I get wisdom?

Let go, Harper.

Let go. Give
over to the Divine

All that you are,
all that you have,

including your pain.
Calm your breath.

Repeat.

My pain belongs to the Divine.

It is like air.
It is like water.

My pain belongs
to the Divine.
It is like air.

It is like water.

Good. Again.

My pain belongs
to the Divine.
It is like air.

It is like water. It's like
a freakin' freight train
going through my brain.

Are you sure this works?

Harper...

Think of hunger.
Think what it must
be like to go days

even weeks, without food.

Now, imagine what it
would be like to know

that in the midst
of that starvation

you could eat...
feast... satiate
your hunger.

But, only by killing the
people that you love.

That is my pain.
It is with me each day.

My pain belongs to the Divine.

It is like air.
It is like water.

My pain belongs to the Divine.
It is like air. It is like
water.

My pain belongs to the Divine.
It is like air. It is like
water.

Hostile vessel approaching
off starboard bow. Activating
emergency measures.

I must go.

No. Please,
Rev, let me help.

Harper, Dylan
was most adamant.

Rev, right now
I'm the smartest
guy in the universe

but, that don't count for squat
if I can't help my friends.

Please, Rev, you
can trust me.
I promise.

Launching kinetic missiles.

Okay, now what?

He's readying another point
singularity bullet.

Slipstream engines
back on-line.

Evasive maneuvers.

We're not shaking him.

I don't Marshal Jeger.
This is,

uh, Chief Engineer of the
Andromeda Ascendant,
Seamus Harper. Do you copy?

Harper? Where's
that coming from?

Checking.
He's in the Maru.

Listen up, Jeger. I think
someone on board this ship
here just might have some

property you're looking for.

So, if you want a piece
of me, errand boy,

Pansy man, come and get me.

What the hell is he doing?

He's saving us.

No. He's
committing suicide.

Harper, you're out gunned
and you can't outrun him.

Now turn around and come back.

Speak Common, boy!

Jeger wants to clock me...
I don't want to be a bulls
eye on your butt.

Damn it, Harper,
you're gonna get
yourself killed.

And by the way,
that's my ship you're
steering into oblivion.

So get your skinny ass back
to the Hangar Deck right now!

Well, now don't get all
sentimental on me, boss.

I brought this mess on
board, I'm taking it off.
It's that simple.

Uh, Harper out.

Well, alrighty then,
Marshal Jeger,
let's uh see what you got.

All ahead full.
Arriba! Arriba!

For our happy hour this
evening, we're offering the
space rift royale.

Five parts gin, three
parts vermouth,
two olives, crushed ice

shaken not stirred, and voila!

Uh, weirdness incoming.

He's warped the
Maru's slipstream portal
into some sort of wall.

Woo-Hoo!
Yes

The exotic matter chokehold,
ladies and gentleman.

The, uh, pub is now open.
The library is closed.

It's like some kind
of knot in space.
We can't get past it.

Can't we blast through?

It's too risky.
We've gotta find
another way in.

I have to get at least three
light minutes

away from this
position before I can
enter slipstream.

Do it. It looks like we'll
have to guess where
Mr. Harper comes out.

If he makes it out at all.

Hey!
Hey, no tailgating!

Uh... brakes!

Another solar system,
another bust.

Roaming the slipstream
isn't getting us anywhere.

Rommie, what's the
status on Harper's wall?

It should have
dissipated by now.

He might have left us
behind some bread crumbs.

Let's go back.
Engaging slipstream on my mark.

Dylan, I have something
you might like to see.

What is it?

You know that video footage
from Brandenburg Tor?

Well, I did an enhancement.

There.

Some kind of silhouette.

Not according to the light
readings. We should be able
to see it clearly.

I can't make it out.
Is it human?

Surrounded by Magog?
If it were human, it'd be dead.

Andromeda, run it again.
Give us a closer look.

It's like he's
directing the attack.

Someone controlling the Magog.

And the fall of
Brandenburg Tor.

Do you think that is what
Jeger was after?

Absolutely.

And I think our mystery man
here, or whatever it is, wants
to stay a mystery.

I know you're awake.
You may as well open
your eyes.

I was just resting.
It's been a busy day.

Thanks to you.

So, is this the part
where you explain to
me your diabolical plan?

No. It's the part where I
open your skull and extract
your database by force.

Oh. Uh,
will it hurt?

I hope so.

Welcome to 3458 Delta.

Right back where we started.

No pions, no ice crystals,
no trace of Harper at all.

Heh... it's funny, Rev.
We knew where he was
when he was on Med Deck.

A lapse in judgment on my part.

There must be something.
Harper knows enough to
leave a trail.

He may not have had time.
Jeger was right behind him.

For all we know,
Harper got caught.

Harper's barrier is gone.

We can enter slipstream,
try to retrace his exact route.

I would think too
much time has passed.

We're going about
this all wrong.

Meaning?

We shouldn't be
trying to find Harper.

We should try to find Jeger.
And with all of his toys,

there must be something
there we could follow.

The Point-Singularity Projector
I imagine, would exert a
tremendous gravitational force.

Yes. Even shielded,
it might have an effect
on the slipstream.

Which we should be
able to track.
Theoretically.

I love putting a
theory into practice.

We're going after him?

Oh, we're going after him.

Good.

My pain belongs to the Divine.
It is like the air. It is like
the water.

Affirmations.
Prayers.

I prefer laser probes.

My pain belongs to the Divi--

There!
That's the first honest
thing you have said.

I want my Rommie!

What's that?

Collision Alert.
Collision Alert.

You tell 'em!

No! No!

Beka, get Harper!

Fun's over!

Now who are
you working for?

Believe me. You
don't want to know.

I gotcha.

Have I ever told you
how beautiful you are?

Don't start with
me, Seamus.

He's uncoupling his ship.

Rommie, Jeger's running!
Open fire with everything
you got.

My pleasure.

Fools.

You really are pretty,
you know that?

He's gonna live?
He's gonna live.

Aw... too bad.

What?

Rev?

I'm not familiar with that
particular language.

Trance? Did you understand
what Harper said?

Trance?

Harper's brain is holding
too much information.

It's dangerous for him.

I'd have to concur with, uh,
Madame Violette, there.

Right now, ignorance
would truly be bliss.

Have you figured out
how to extract the archives?

And what would
you say if I have?

I'll need a copy of the
Brandenburg Tor file.

Uh, boss, with that
Jeger guy out there,
wouldn't having that stuff

make you a target?
Make us all a target?

What makes you think
we're not already?

Good point.

As for the rest, uh,
we should store it,
just in case.

Well, don't you think
it's best that we destroy it?

Just so it doesn't hurt
anyone else.

Trance, as much as I would
love to, if you erase history,
you just erase its lessons.

I think I may
have a place to,

uh, store it. A safe place.
A big enough place.

Define "big enough"
and "safe enough"?

Uh... I can't actually say.

Oh. But you will let me
know once you find it.

Yeah.
Good.

There were unexpected
obstacles. He had allies. But,
I can still get it.

Give me more time.
No. Please.

I can still get it to you.

It's very beautiful.

Yes. Yeah, it is.
Just one question. What is it?

You said it's an antique,
Earth-based flight module.

Uh, the X-1, I believe.

Really?

I don't suppose anybody
was taking any notes while
I was on a roll?

Jotted down any specs?
Asked me for a blueprint?

I am afraid all of that
information is up there.

Oh, no. There's nothing up
here. It's just empty old
Harper again.

Don't discount yourself, Harper.
You have a wonderful mind.

Tremendous mechanical
talents, a quick wit.

And I'm beginning to
detect a glimmering

of something even more
important than knowledge.

Let me guess.

Wisdom.

Heh... you see?
Brilliant.

Well, you know the old,
uh, Vedran proverb.

Ah, yes.

"A fast swimmer keeps no pets."

No, uh...that's not what
I said."A wise man knows
his limitations."

Close enough.

Uh, Rev?

I'm sorry for
what I said.

Whatever it was.

Man, who'd have thought
that being a librarian could
be so tough.

Well, looks like I'm gonna
have to do this the old
fashioned way.