And Just Like That... (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Trick or Treat - full transcript

Oh, shit.

I heard it.

I'm sorry.

What time is it?

- It's five.
- Oh, fuck.

I didn't go to sleep till four.

- I'm sorry.
- Hey, come back to bed.

- I can't.
- What?

I have an early class.

If I don't go home
first and wake Brady up,

he'll sleep all day.



Sleep all day. That
sounds so good.

Go to sleep. I'll be
outta here in two minutes.

Ow!

Oh, my God.

Shit. Sorry.

Fuck.

Morning, pumpkin!

I got our pumpkin.

And there's

there's pancakes.

Not pumpkin. Dropped
the ball there.

Mom, I told you, you don't have
to come all the way over here

every morning just
to make me breakfast.

I know, but I like it.



And the two of you would
starve if I didn't.

Hey, so, after you eat, you
wanna help me decorate the stoop?

We can't be the only house on the
block with no Halloween spirit.

Isn't this house
already scary enough?

Charlotte is going to kill us

for not wearing costumes
to her fundraiser.

I am wearing a costume.

I'm Helen Gurley Brown, writer and founder
of "Cosmopolitan" magazine, circa 1970.

I just thought you were you.

When have you ever seen me
wear bows in my hair like this?

I don't know. Wednesday?

It's gonna be an
early night for me.

I've lost all my sleep in the
Bermuda Schlepping Triangle

between Che's apartment,
Brooklyn, and Columbia,

so I'm wrecked and
in a terrible mood.

Now see, you did
come in a costume.

- You came as a giant bummer.
- Yeah.

- Thank you so much for coming.
- Thanks for having us.

- Guys!
- Hi!

- It's a costume party!
- I'm Helen Gurley Brown.

I have seen you wear that dress
before. It is not a costume.

Charlotte, did you really
think I was gonna come as Belle

from "Beauty and the Beast"?

I knew this would be an issue.

- So...
- Ooh...

I've come as the comic
disaster that is my life.

For the record, you're
not in a costume either.

Yeah.

Yes, I am! I'm
Elizabeth Jennings.

You know, from "The Americans."

No, still think it's you.

Okay, wait. You have
to see us together.

Harry! Honey, honey, come here.

Okay, yes!

Now we know it's not you
'cause Harry has hair.

We are a husband and wife team
of Russian spies in the '80s.

I'm Keri Russell, and
he is Matthew Rhys.

See? I have smokey
eye, hair on one side.

Babe, how come
nobody's gettin' this?

I've no idea what
you're talkin' about,

but I am totally on
board with Harry's hair.

Right?

Right? This is me
in eighth grade!

If one more foodie asks if I'm
supposed to be Padma Lakshmi,

I will file a
class-action lawsuit.

Okay, we have a winner.

Thank you. Gettin' my
little Eartha Kitt on.

And for what? Not
one fine man here.

Sweetie, complete
waste of Lycra.

It's a charity event with
all married men and dad bods.

I saw a Captain Jack Sparrow
over there. He's kinda hot.

I saw him, too. He's a woman.

Well, I need a man.

And my free one-month
subscription

in Chocolate Singles
only got me cyber-stalked

by a white guy named Jeff.

So, white chocolate?

And we all know white
chocolate isn't real.

Fret not, I will
take you to the place

- to meet single men.
- Which is?

A sperm bank? A monastery?

A Marvel movie?

A five-star hotel bar.

Super expensive rooms,
so you know he has coin,

and deadbeats aren't allowed
to wander in off the street.

So, what do you say, Carrie? Do
we show this newbie the ropes?

Yeah, sure. I'm in.

You are?

I'm kinda surprised.

"I'm a mouse on the outside,

but inside, I'm this tiger,
and I have to get on with it."

It's a quote from
Helen Gurley Brown.

I'm out.

You finally made it!

You are one lucky Frankenstein.

Thanks.

Why did I go through the trouble

of renting you a very expensive
George Washington outfit

- and you don't even wear it?
- Baby, this is a public event.

I didn't wanna end up on
Page Six in a powdered wig.

Also, not great press optics,
you dirty dancing with the Devil.

Well, hon, he's gay.

People don't know that.

He knew the Left Eye, the T-Boz, and
the Chilli parts verbatim. They know.

Well, it wasn't very dignified.

And besides, this political
run was your idea, remember?

Well, it wasn't my idea for
you to lose all sense of fun.

It's Halloween. Loosen up a bit.

It was on FX for seven seasons.

It won countless
Emmys. And a Peabody.

I look exactly like her.

Like Batman is so original.

Hail Spartacus!

I'd recognize those
thighs anywhere.

Straightest party ever. We're
the only two gay guys here.

Anthony, from the gym.

Still can't place me?

Imagine my hand surrounded
by a lotta steam.

This is my wife.

Yeah, straight guy
with abs like that.

Are you really going to a
hotel bar to look for men?

Well, if you want
a man in your life,

ya can't just sit home and
wait for him to come to you.

All right, Helen Gurley Brown.

Actually, that one was me.

The British are coming.

- That's Paul Revere.
- I know,

but the founding father
never said anything famous

with the word "coming" in it, so

just go with it.

You look bizarrely hot.

But before we get down to
business, Mr. President,

I know you're running for
City Comptroller and all

but you don't get
to "comptroll" me.

The message from the
councilwoman on the comforter

- is received.
- You sure?

Oh, yes.

And I cannot tell a lie.

Don't, don't touch my hair.

Isn't that what you always say?

Nobody can challenge him
if he has the capability

to launch America's
nuclear arsenal.

What more do you need?
A written manifesto?

This show is brilliant.
Everyone's insane.

Mom, Dad, you will not
believe what just happened!

Can it wait till
after this scene?

No. I was at the park
and I landed an ollie

and this cool guy came up
to me and said I was awesome

and wanted to know if I
ever thought about modeling.

What are you saying?
What cool guy?

At the park. He wants
you to call him.

We are not callin' some
creep from the park.

No, we certainly are not.

Oh, my God.

This is Ralph Lauren.

This guy works for Ralph Lauren?

You know who else
works for Ralph Lauren?

Me, as soon as I go to Kinko's

and make a bunch of
fake business cards.

This is embossed with
the Ralph Lauren logo.

It's his real logo!

Please, please, please,
please can we call him?

- It'd be so awesome!
- It is a scam.

You think some guy hangin'
around a bunch of kids

at a skate park is
scoutin' models?

Honey, this show has
made you paranoid.

What's the harm in calling?

Because if this guy really
works for Ralph Lauren,

then he works for Ralph Lauren!

Go, Mom!

You know, in high school,
I was a model at the mall.

And guess who I wore?

Ralph Lauren.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Last time I went to
a bar to meet a man

my phone folded.

Last time I went to a
bar to meet a man was

never.

- How is that possible?
- What?

Andre and I started dating
when I was a junior in college

and I met my high school
boyfriend at Model U.N.

Always wondered
who did Model U.N.

So, by my calculations,
you've only seen two dicks.

I saw more than that last
time I was on the subway.

Do those count? Well,
then I've seen three.

Can I ask how many you've seen?

Enough that you
can't surprise me.

- Carrie?
- Oh, I'm still surprise-able.

Excuse me, ma'am, are you shocked this
bar doesn't carry Nettle Field gin?

No, I'm shocked that you
are calling me "ma'am."

Well, I was told that's
how you address royalty.

See, now, I'd buy you a Nettle Field gin
martini but this bar doesn't carry it.

Why do you keep saying "Nettle
Field gin" as if it's a thing?

I rep the brand. I'm trying
to get into this hotel chain.

Excuse me, bartender.

Can I have a Nettle
Field gin martini?

I just told him, we
don't carry that brand.

Why not? I hear it's amazing.

I owe you a bottle.

Only one?

Mama done hooked a fish.

Oh, my God.

Wait.

Is this a bar or an aquarium?

I think I just found
my chocolate single.

- Hi.
- Evening.

Hello.

- My name is Ian.
- Hi, Ian.

May I buy you a drink?

Sure.

Well, perfect time for Wordle.

You are very, very
hot, your highness.

Thank you. So are you.

Look, I just wanna put this out
there, it has nothing to do with you

but, sometimes,
I suffer from ED.

Erectile dysfunction.

Got it.

I appreciate the sensitivity, but
the way things are going tonight,

I just don't think
that's gonna be an issue.

- So, we're cool?
- Yeah, we're cool.

We're cool.

Some ladies are
not cool with it.

Well, I guess some women
might feel a little insecure

when...

Only really takes a sec.

- That's cool.
- Okay.

- Make this count. Last round, last round.
- I can't, I'm too drunk!

- Period!
- I'm out of rolling papers.

- Carry on without me.
- Okay. Gimme a light.

But just, like, keep it down.

Somebody's asleep
in the next room!

Oh, shit. Fuck.

It's okay. I'm awake.

Oh, God. Why don't... Do you
not have the earplugs in?

They don't work.

- What time is it?
- It's 3:30.

- Oh, my God!
- I just go back to sleep.

- I have to be up at five.
- I am so sorry.

I just need rolling papers, but
we're gonna totally keep it down.

Okay? Ow! Fuck! Shit!

I'm gonna burn
that fucking chair.

Good morning.

There she is.

Sorry I had to cancel lunch.

I got a late start today
because that guy stayed over.

Really, really? How was that?

Let's just say I'm
still surprise-able.

- He had a penis pump.
- What?

- Bike lane! Bike lane!
- He had to pump up his dick.

Bike lane! Bike lane!

- Bike lane!
- Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!
- Exactly!

No, not you. Oh, my
God, I have to go.

I think I may have killed a man.

You can't stop in the
middle of a bike lane!

Oh, my God! I know,
I know, I know that.

- I know. I'm so sorry.
- Fuck.

My friend was
telling me something

that literally stopped
me in my tracks.

Never, never mind. I'm
so sorry. Are you okay?

Do you want me to call
an ambulance, maybe?

No.

- Here let me, let me...
- God!

Not my arm.

- Sorry. I'm so sorry.
- God.

It's my wrist.

- It might be sprained. At least I...
- Really?

I hope it's... Ow. I
hope it's only sprained.

Well, can I take you
to an Urgent Care?

'Cause I also... I think I heard a
crack, and a crack is never good.

- Probably just my helmet.
- There's one on 14th Street.

I know, because... Once I saw
an Olsen twin go in there.

I mean, that's why it, that's why
it stuck in my mind, you know,

because, like, what kind of
Urgent Care on 14th Street

would an Olsen twin
need, you know?

Do they live around
here, you know?

I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm so...
I'm nervously talking 'cause I'm...

Would you please... Can I please
take you to the Urgent Care?

All right, yeah, maybe 'cause my
wrist is really starting to pound.

Okay.

- I'll get your bike for you.
- Yeah, please. Oh, God.

Here, just...

I got it, I got it.
Watch... I'm so sorry.

I got a busy day, so I
hope that they're quick.

Well, I mean, "urgent"
is in their name, so...

Yeah, not in yours.

No, sorry. We'll go this way.

- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- Fuck.

I never, ever... I'm
not one of those people.

I've lived here forever. I
never stop in a bike lane.

Hi, I know we're at the back of the
line, but I heard him hit his head

and I'm worried about a clot.

Ma'am, we will get to you as
soon as we can. I promise.

No, I get it. I do.

I just don't wanna be
responsible for a clot.

Ya know? I've gotta
cover my bases.

You wanna move it along? Go
fill these out for your friend.

Okay. Thank you.
Will do. Thank you.

Thank you. Shit, this is so not
a good time for a broken wrist.

Broken? What
happened to a sprain?

Well, it's kind of
killing me to text, so...

- Here.
- Well, do you want me to help

you fill these forms out? Yeah?

- Oh, yeah. Thank you.
- Okay.

No problem. Of course.

Okay, name and date of birth.

George Campbell.

George Campbell. C-A-M...

- P-B-E-L-L.
- P... E-L-L.

- Yep.
- Date of birth?

10-17-68.

Happy belated birthday.

Address?

- 245 East 29th.
- Two...

Really? Oh, my God, that's so
funny. I'm 245 East 73rd Street.

We're related.

Okay, moving on to
the tougher stuff.

Emergency contact.

My partner, Paul Bennett.

- B-E-N-N-E-T-T.
- Partner, gotcha.

No, not husband partner.

Business partner.

Yeah. Never been married.

Okay.

Speak of the Devil.

- Hi, Paul.
- Man, where are you?

The final version of
that app deck is due...

In two days. Believe me, I know.

I am at Urgent Care,

- so here.
- No, this is urgent. Okay?

We're running out of
buyers. It's do or die!

Yeah, all right, let me finish.

I am here, stuck in whatever the opposite
of a hit-and-run is. Meet Carrie.

Hi, hi.

Again, I'm mortified about this.

I'll never get used
to those bike lanes.

They didn't have 'em when
I came to New York in 1822.

- George?
- Sir, with the wrist?

You can go back
to exam room two.

What is goin' on over there?

Paul, I'll call you back.

- Okay.
- Do you need help with...

Nah, I'm good. I'll
just take this.

- And I'll take that.
- Yep.

And thank you.

- Of course. Yeah.
- Yeah.

I'll say hi to the Olsens.

- I'm home!
- Hi, Dad!

Whoa! Rock is helpin'
to make dinner.

What? Did I come home
to the wrong house?

What is this Norman
Rockwell scene here?

Honey, we have been
doing some more research

on the Ralph Lauren shoot.

Honey, absolutely not.

I'm just... I'm really...
I'm smellin' a "Taken" type

kidnapping vibe
here, and I just...

I don't have the muscle
mass to rescue Rock

from a compound in Belize.

Dad, it's not a kidnapping vibe.

We Zoomed with the
advertising team

and it's actually quite
legitimate and impressive.

It is a progressive family concept
and Rock will be wearing a Polo shirt,

exactly what I wore
as a teen model!

Teen model. Next stop, rehab.

- Mom's not a junkie.
- That's right! I'm not.

Harry, you are being ridiculous.

Rock really wants to do this and
they've come up with a great idea

of how they would spend
the money they would make.

Plant some trees in Israel!

Look, even if it is legit,
it's gonna be exploitative.

The next thing ya
know, they're gonna be

usin' Rock's likeness in
God knows what kinda ad.

Harry, this is a Polo campaign.

- What could they do?
- Dad, I hear you.

So you don't have to come
'cause Mom's gonna take me.

It'll be awesome.

Slippery slope.

I don't know why they call
this place Urgent Care.

It should be called "I
Hope You Have Nothing Else

Planned for the Rest
of the Day" Care.

Why are you still there?

Because I made the mistake
of telling him my name,

so now I'm implicated.

I don't wanna get
sued. I'm Google-able.

And, you know, the
poor guy can't type.

He's got this big sales
presentation in two days

and it's all about an app he's
desperate to sell. At his age?

I mean, oh, God.

I just hope I didn't
ruin his big chance.

Maybe I should just
write him a check.

You're a pushover, like me.

Since when are you a pushover?

Since last night. I told pump
gin guy I'd see him again.

- Seriously?
- Dating at this age,

there's always something.

We had 30 minutes
of great foreplay,

a bizarre intermission,
followed by B-plus sex.

Well, what are you gonna
do if he doesn't bring it?

You gonna swap in the pump
you use for your yoga ball?

With most of these guys, I have to
get myself off anyway at the end.

And at least with him, I had some
laughs and a sexy spoon after.

'Kay, gotta go. Bye.

You're still here? Waiting
for a total stranger?

- That is very cool.
- How's the wrist feeling?

- It's pretty good.
- Oh, great.

Great, I just wanted to
make sure it wasn't broken.

Oh, yeah, no. It's
definitely broken.

That must have been
the opioids talking.

Sir, the card ya gave us

earlier to put on
file was declined.

Oh, right. Shit,
that one's no good.

Yeah, here. Sorry, this one.

Actually, sorry. Do that one.

Sorry, yeah.

It was so great.

I felt like everyone on the street was
giving me that "you just had sex" eye.

I love you having a
hot walk of shame.

I mean, I get it now. These
one-night stands are amazing!

Afternoon, Professor Wallace.

Good afternoon, ladies.

We did it all night long

and then, I got up,
got dressed, went home,

and slept in my
own bed until two.

Jealous. Not of the
sex, of the sleep.

- What?
- I'm early mornings, Che's late nights.

I would only sleep there on the
weekends when we could stay in bed,

if I had literally
anywhere else to go.

You do. Andre's
music room is empty.

Crash there until Steve
finds a new place.

That's an incredible offer!

But you don't really mean
that. You're just being nice.

I'm not nice, and I do mean it.

Miranda, I don't really
like living alone.

And you can't keep going
from Che's to Brooklyn

- at five in the morning.
- I can't.

I'm exhausted, and I look it.

You do.

I told you I'm not nice.

Yes?

If this is George
Campbell, this is,

this is your near-assassin,
Carrie Bradshaw.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Hello?

Hi there.

- Hey.
- You again?

Do you live here, or are you
temping for an art gallery?

Nope, I live here.

Oh, my.

Was it previously a
train station? Or...

- an airplane hangar?
- What a nice surprise.

Unless you're here to
break my other wrist?

No, no, no, no, no.
No, I come in peace.

Well, actually, it's guilt.

And to offer lunch and my intact wrists
to help with your big presentation,

if that's not weird.

It's definitely weird.

- Okay.
- But I can... I will

take your help because I
just ran out of Percocet.

Oh, no.

So, I assume you are
proficient in Python?

I type 92 words a minute.

Carrot Ginger,
Matzo Ball, and Pea.

There's enough food
here for a week.

Who has three different
soups for lunch?

- I was thinking maybe you could freeze it.
- What?

I don't know when
your last meal was.

- Do I look like I'm starving?
- No.

You know, just 'cause
I'm not married

doesn't mean that I don't
know how to cook or order in.

No, it wasn't that.

I just thought that perhaps
you were in a bit of a bind.

Because, you know, the frantic,
last-chance business call

and then the credit
card situation.

Okay, so, that credit card
was closed out 'cause of fraud

and Paul and I have just put
way too much time into that app

to see it go down the tubes.

You know, we've been hustling
in the tech space since college.

Beer pong to all
this. It's impressive.

Yeah, we've sold three apps.

Hopefully, four if you and
I can ever get down to work.

- My wrists are all yours.
- Thank you.

- Okay.
- Here, hold on, let me just...

Just gotta wake it up.

Tiny wrists.

That okay?

Dude, fuckin' hang a towel on
the door if you got company.

Yeah, no, and I
thought we used a sock.

Not time for comedy.

Your dry cleaner
called me again.

This has been there a month.

Anyway, Paul, this is Carrie.

- FaceTime from Urgent C...
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Hi.

Yeah, she's helping me
out with my mangled wrist.

Not what it looks like.
We're on a deadline, bro.

It's game time.

Well, I should

probably take my
tiny wrists and go.

It's rush hour. Can
I borrow a bike?

Yeah, sure.

Never gonna happen.

I take cabs. Enjoy the soups.

ABC is, like, so excited. And my
agent's flying in for the testing,

which is apparently a good sign.

This red curry is not a joke.

You know that's what happens
when you order something spicy.

Yes, but I needed
something to wake me up.

I am awake, so please,
go on. What is testing?

So they ask a bunch of randos
that they find in Times Square

to give feedback on my pilot.

I guess it helps them figure out how
to best market the show to America.

Thank you.

Okay.

So

If my body survives this meal...

I'm thinking I may move
into Nya's spare room.

Sometimes, I feel like
I'm cramping your style.

Meaning my loud-ass friends are
keeping you awake all night?

Yes.

And my crazy-ass schedule is
keeping you awake all morning.

Is that right? I hadn't noticed.

Plus, Nya's place is, like,

- two minutes away from my house.
- Yeah.

I love having ya there,
but whatever works

best for you is what I want.

And I'm still gonna sleep
over plenty of nights.

Don't worry.

The only thing I'm worried about

is that spice all over your lips

'cause I'm not tryna
have curry-lingus later.

Look, honey. Oh my, look
at how professional!

I am so proud of you.

I haven't even
done anything yet.

That's okay. It's
already amazing.

Hey, Rock. I'm Bee. I'll
be your stylist today.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

- This is my mom.
- Hi. I'm Charlotte.

- Are you wearing all vintage Ralph?
- Head to toe!

I've been wearing him
since I was a teen model.

Right this way.

Sorry, "model" just came out.

Thank you so much for
asking me to be here, honey.

- It means a lot.
- I'm so glad you can be here with me.

Chin up!

So, how are you feelin' about
the whole roommate situation?

Great!

We're both going
through divorces,

so we'll be like an angry
Laverne and Shirley.

Okay, the room is very small

so if ya see a single bed that
looks like it won't fall apart

before Steve finds a new
place, throw yourself on it.

Well, it's been a couple months.

How long will that be, exactly?

I don't feel I can ask him.

I don't feel like I'm allowed
to ask anything right now.

Except to ask me to sit on
someone else's used mattress?

These single beds look so sad.

Well, look closer,
'cause maybe they're not.

Case in point,

the single man I'm having
dinner with tonight.

I heard "partner," I thought "gay."
I heard "crash," I thought "lawsuit."

I heard "Urgent Care," I
thought, "This'll be quick."

I got everything wrong.
No more snap judgments.

So you're saying you think
I should take this one?

Absolutely not. I see that
mattress, I think "bedbugs."

Rock, that's great!

There we go!

All right, Rock, turn around.

Big smile, big smile!
Lots of energy.

All right, eyes wide.

That was perfect,
that was perfect.

Yo, dude, what's happenin'?

- What's good, man?
- You're crushin' it.

Dude, this is a dope shoot.

What's gonna be on
that green screen, yo?

Like somethin' dirty
or sexy or what?

All right, let's
keep that head down.

I don't know, bro, but
this is a family scene.

There's kids here.

Big smile, big
smile! There we go!

Excellent, Rock. Just like that.

Dude, you better get
outta here right now

- before Rock sees you.
- All right, another one right here.

Baby, there's just somethin'
about this whole situation

that does not sit right with me.

Could it be that I am the fun parent
and you are the heavy for a change?

Maybe.

- Look at that one right there!
- If you don't get outta here

before that kid sees you,

all trust will be broken

and you will never be
"fun dad" ever again.

- Good point.
- Here we are!

- Later, dude.
- All right, big smile.

I thought you were
returning that hair.

- Carrie likes it.
- Over your right shoulder, right shoulder.

And I lost the receipt.

- Peace out.
- There it is... Hat off.

Look away like you're too
cool, too cool for school.

That's great, Rock.
Just like that.

That scene with the
apron was funny.

Okay. Wow, so we love,
we loved Che's dad.

Any other positive feedback on the
character played by Tony Danza?

- Yeah.
- Great head of hair. So lush.

Everybody loves Tony.

Negatives about
our dad character?

He looked uncomfortable in
that scene when she cried.

When "they," "they" cried.

Right, sorry.

The crying sends a signal that
it's sad to be non-binary.

That is what I said!

I knew the scene was too
much and I told 'em that.

I told 'em that repeatedly.

- Repeatedly.
- Okay. We have that note.

You've been pretty quiet.

Can we hear some more from you?

Me?

I mean, the whole "Che" character
was like a walking boomer joke

that felt so fake to me.

Just some phony,
sanitized, performative,

cheesy-ass, dad joke,

bullshit version of what the
non-binary experience is.

It sucked.

Also, they would not be able to afford
an apartment that big in Bushwick.

Did anyone else have
anything negative to say

about the character of
Che, played by Che Diaz?

Okay, looks like
we got a Yahtzee.

Everybody thinks of TV today

as a place where artistic
people get to be creative.

But the truth is, they just
care about selling soap.

TV is just a corporate conglomerate, and
those corporate assholes can eat shit.

It's just like corporate
law. They will never get it.

And I'm sorry, Times
Square tourists?

They can't possibly
understand your story.

A genderqueer person
from Brooklyn tanked it.

That call came from
inside the house.

Well, they can eat
shit, too then.

And ABC was like, "If that
demographic doesn't like Che..."

ABC can eat shit! ABC
can eat shit and die!

Stop telling everybody to
eat shit. It's not helping.

Sorry.

How am I gonna afford
this apartment?

I was counting on that TV money.

Okay, so you'll
make another show.

You'll make an even better show.

Yeah, doesn't work that way.

You mean it didn't before
now, but you're you.

There is nobody like you.

You just have to suck it up
and pull yourself outta this.

- I'll be your cheerleader.
- Oh, Miranda, stop.

- Let's go! Let's go!
- Stop.

- Miranda, stop. Stop, stop!
- Let's go!

I don't need a cheerleader! This
isn't a game, this is my life!

This is my career!
This is my identity!

It took me 46 years
to figure out who I am

and then a focus group one
hour to fuckin' destroy me!

So, I don't need to be all
Tony Robbins'd right now.

I got it.

So, what can I do?

I don't... Nothing.

I'm a mess.

I just need some space.

Would you mind staying the
night at your other place?

Sure. Of course.

Can I hug you before I go?

Okay.

So, I'll see ya tomorrow.

You know, honestly, I
think I just need a bit...

A few more days alone.

Is that okay?

Yeah, sure.

My...

That was great.

That's not cool.

Are you for real right now?

Sir,

do you seriously have the balls
to say something about my device

when I wake up to your
freshly washed penis pump

- drying in my dish rack?
- That's different.

That was just to get us
started. This is so like...

So noisy.

I'm sorry if I'm bothering
the man whose penis pump goes

in the middle of my bedroom.

Not cool.

So not cool.

Seriously?

Not cool!

Look at you.

- Little help here?
- Sorry. No, I'm sorry.

They're tiny tender buttons.

Here wait one second.
That's probably Paul.

I just need to get this.

- Sure.
- Give me one second.

- Dude, what is up?
- Dude, where's the final deck?

I messengered it to you.

I have no final deck.

Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, I
forgot to send it.

I'm gonna call my assistant and
have him come pick it up ASAP, okay?

- Are you with her right now?
- Yeah, I'm...

- Seriously, dude?
- With her, but that is not relevant.

Hey, it's not not relevant!

I will get this to you pronto, and
my head is totally in the game.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Goddammit!

Just stop, all right?

God.

Look, it's nothing against you.

Is it Carrie?

Can you hear me?

Yeah?

Okay, I'm sorry about all this.

Honestly, it's just... It's
been a few bumpy years.

You know, he's creative
and I'm business

and sometimes I have to push just
to get him across that finish line

which

I guess it ends up making
me look like the bad guy

and a piece of
shit, and I'm not.

I've been in this game
for 20-something years now

and you know, I feel like
he's been just, kind of,

falling off a little bit, like, "Oh,
you know, I'm just gonna give 70%,"

like, that's cool.
It's not fucking cool.

I'm fucking frustrated, Carrie.

George?

- George?
- Be right there!

Just gotta get
this deck together!

Hey.

Hey, listen, I'm
gonna go! He's upset.

Paul's great. I don't want
you to think he's a jerk.

It's just this sale's a big deal
for us, and it's stressful as hell.

You know how on your
form I checked "single"?

Well, I think you
actually are married

to Paul.

He's not just your business
partner, he's your wife.

No, no, it's not like that.
We're more Lennon and McCartney.

Well, that kinda makes me
Yoko, so, I'm gonna go.

- You sure?
- Yep! Leaving!

I wish you a long
and happy marriage.

Carrie?

And just like that,
George and I were over.

But at least I got
back up on the bike.