And Just Like That... (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Met Cute - full transcript

♪ I saw you dancin'
out the ocean ♪

♪ Runnin' fast
along the sand ♪

♪ A spirit born of
Earth and water ♪

♪ Fire flying
from your hands ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Hold me closer,
tiny dancer ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Count the headlights
on the highway ♪

♪ Lay me down in
sheets of linen ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ You had a busy day today ♪



♪ Oh ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪

♪ Hold me closer,
hold me closer ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪

♪ There are
caravans to follow ♪

♪ Drunken nights in
dark hotels, baby ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ When chances breathe
between the silence ♪

♪ Where sex and
love no longer gel ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪

♪ Hold me closer, baby, baby ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪



♪ Hold me closer, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪

All you need is salt
and pepper because a great piece of meat

like this should taste of meat

and really not a whole lot else.

So, I thought we
would make some...

Why do you
like cooking shows?

- No idea.
- Do you cook?

- Nope.
- Hm.

We start with
a russet potato.

Just watch the shows.

Yep.

What about you? Do you cook?

Um... I always
think I'm going to,

- but I never really do, no.
- Ah.

A little piece of
salmon here and there.

You know, that's about it.

Well, salmon's something.

-It is. Thank you for that.
-Mm-hmm.

Salmon hard to cook?

- Brutal.
- Yeah... Looks it.

Many years ago, I thought I
would start poaching eggs.

I liked the idea...

of eating them in the morning
on little toast points.

Like royalty, you know, but...

yeah.

- Didn't follow through.
- Why?

You know, I was 30,

- too busy to slow my roll for a three-minute egg.
- Ah, ah.

Well, I support that poached egg dream.

It's not too late.

I mean, you got
the three minutes.

- I do.
- Uh-huh.

Come on, baby.

Ooh.

And here we go.

Good morning!

Did you get the
caviar I sent you?

God, I get so much
caviar sent to me,

I don't know which is yours.

The expensive one.

Oh, then I got it.
Totally unnecessary.

Oh, I disagree, babe.

It is not every day

someone makes you their plus-one

to the Met Ball.

I mean, all those years,
I've resented those

chic bitches just
posing on those stairs.

And now... I'm gonna
be one of them.

Oh, Seema, those stairs
are only for celebrities.

Real people like us have
a different entrance.

I don't care if I have to
squeeze in through a doggie door,

it's the Met Ball and I'm going!

But who am I wearing?

You're wearing that
young, new designer,

LTW's in custom Valentino,

so I'm sure Charlotte
will "bring it."

Oh, can you hold on a second?

I'd call Tom Ford, but I
sold his apartment last year

and did not get his asking.

- Hello?
- It's Charlotte.

Oh, hi. Come, come on up.

Uh, listen, I gotta go, okay?

Seema: I'm just so excited.

- Buh-bye.
- Okay, I'm outta here.

Oh, don't you want an egg?

- No time.
- Right... 'cause I ruined the first two.

Hang in there.

Ah. Oh, that's, um, that's
my friend, Charlotte.

I don't know why she's here.

- You wanna open the door and find out?
- Oh, right.

Hi! Is it too early? I just got
my sketch on my Met Ball dress.

Oh.

Uh, Charlotte Goldenblatt,

this is Franklyn Silvias,
he's just leaving.

Franklyn, this is Charlotte.
She's just arriving.

And I'm Carrie Bradshaw.
I'll be your host and emcee

for about the next 30 seconds.

- And who's this?
- Oh, uh, this is Richard Burton.

I had to carry him up the stairs

because bulldogs
have weak hind legs.

Oh, but great
faces.

- I'll see you Thursday at work.
- Yeah, Thursday.

- All right, bye.
- Okay. Bye.

Who?

He's my podcast producer.

- What?!
- Do you wanna put Mr. Burton down?

- Who?!
- Your dog.

Here, have a seat. I'm making
poached eggs with caviar.

- What?!
- Yep. I've repurposed my kitchen.

Did you know that stoves
aren't just for storage?

Oh, my God. Look at that!

I just saw the final cut,
but let's start the montage

with the judicial OG
Constance Baker Motley. Yeah.

Mama, listen to me
recite my French poem.

I gotta go, Alice.
Poetry emergency.

I'll send the file with my Act One
edits before I leave. Okay, bye.

Fais-le.

La Cigale et la Fourmi

par Jean de La fontaine.

- Ma!
- La Cigale ayant chante...

Hey, Ma, where's
my lacrosse stick?

Hall closet on the left side.

- Did you brush your teeth?
- Yeah.

Breath?

Good.

Tout l'ete elle se
trouva bien depourvue...

Mom, you never signed
my permission slip

for the robotics competition.

I sent it in yesterday.

- Did you brush your teeth?
- Yeah.

Breath?

- Good.
- Quand la bise fut venue...

- Honey?
- Yes?

Did my Morehouse tie make
it home from the cleaners?

Lisa Todd Wexley: I don't
know. Why don't you ask

the other 50 ties
in your closet?

Sarcasm
for breakfast.

Well, it's lunchtime for me.

I've been up since four
working on my edit.

I know you have...

but I missed you this morning.

- Mm.
- Mm, I missed you yesterday morning.

- Did you miss me?
- So much.

But right now, I have
to send this email,

get the children to
school, head downtown...

and dazzle the Walker Foundation

to get this other 25
grand to finish my doc.

Oh, but other than that, it
is all about missing you.

Okay? And your missing tie.

Okay. You're working too hard.

Why don't you cancel this meeting
and let me write you a check?

Well, that is a
very generous offer,

but considering I am a grown
woman with an MFA in film

and two docs under my belt,

I think I can rely on myself
to secure the financing.

- Loud and clear.
- And later this evening,

it will be louder and clearer.

Let's go, Gabrielle.

Au revoir, big,
swinging checkbook.

Okay, go ahead.

We, uh, we kissed
in the elevator...

- Mm-hmm.
- Three weeks ago at work

and wound up back at my place.

I am so, so happy for you, Carrie.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't tell anyone.

And don't do the
Charlotte thing.

Don't make us into
a happy couple.

It's sex, a cooking show,

a sleepover every Thursday,
and it's great. The end.

Okay. How big is his dick?

I'm not allowed to be me,
so I'm gonna be Samantha.

-Okay, wait. Now I'm gonna be Miranda.
-Oh-oh.

- Uh-oh. Okay.
- If you sleep with someone at work,

you are giving away your power.

Mm... I miss Charlotte.

If you see her, will you
tell her that I miss her?

Yes. I'm
just surprised.

- I mean, it's just kind of unexpected.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, you know what?

Life's too short not
to try something new.

- Like poaching an egg.
- Mm!

Hey!

Hey! How's it goin'?

Best getaway ever.

The sun, the sex, the
toasted chili salsa.

- I feel so alive.
- Really?

'Cause it looks like
you're just standin' around

in your underwear
in a weird-ass room.

Best standing in my underwear
in a weird-ass room ever!

Che got stuck in a costume
fitting for their TV pilot,

so I'm taking their sensory
deprivation tank appointment.

That doesn't sound like you.

It's the new me. Best me ever!

Well, I'm still the old
me, sitting on my couch at night

watching "Bridgerton" knockoffs,
waiting for a FaceTime

from my estranged
husband on tour.

Well, that's gotta stop now.

Get out of the house.

- Take yourself to dinner.
- I tried that, Miranda.

It's exhausting explaining
to curious waiters

why their favorite
married couple

isn't splitting their
usual cacio e pepe.

Then go somewhere where they
don't know you and Andre Rashad.

Will the B Train
take me to 1996?

'Cause we've been
together forever.

All right, I'm done
supporting this pity party

for a brilliant, tenured
Ivy League professor.

If I can float in the
dark in a saline solution,

you can take yourself
out to dinner alone.

Well, I gotta
do somethin'.

I took this online
yoga class this morning

and this yoga instructor told
us to open up and let it flow,

and I yelled out, "Fuck
you, Andre Rashad!"

I thought
I was muted. I wasn't.

I'm no longer welcome
at Brown Yogis United.

And for the stand-up section,

let's drive this
around the block.

- Okay.
- There we go.

Left arm.

What do you think?

Hey,
America! I'm non-binary!

Got it.

Thanks.

I appreciate that.

Um, I kinda like
the idea of pulling it all back.

Maybe just, I don't know,
jeans and a t-shirt.

Jeans aren't very
forgiving up top,

and you, you need a jacket.

It doesn't have to be this one.

But look at how major it is

with the blue
stripe in the hair.

Why does my hair look like that?

Hey, where's my star?

- They don't like the hair.
- Hey.

Really? ABC loves the look.

Well, it looks hot on you, BD,

but, I mean, I don't
have a blue stripe,

and the character's
name is Che, um,

the show's called
"Che Pasa," right?

- It's, it's me.
- No, of course, it is.

It's just 'cause, you
know, I'm the writer,

so I thought it'd be,
like, a fun, little bridge

between you and, and me.

With all due respect, BD...
it's a bridge too far.

They want to just
wear a t-shirt.

So, no jacket?

Oh, my eye.

Ow.

Oww.

Ugh.

Ow.

Ow.

Where's that... light?

Ow.

Oh, fuck the new
me! Jesus.

- Want some?
- Is there a flavor?

- Lollipop.
- Lollipop.

- Ooh, I'll get that.
- No, no, no.

Carrie Bradshaw, it's on me.

And it's not even a fake reach
like all the other times.

- Are you sure?
- Just don't make fun of my credit card.

It's blue.

It's the least I can do.

I mean, you're letting my wife

design your fancy-ass dress.

- Okay...
- It's a big break for Smoke.

No, no, no. This is
not a favor, okay?

No wife of yours, no matter
how much I love you...

would ever be designing my dress

if I didn't think she was
a crazy massive talent

who I want to wear first.

Aw, you're gonna make me cry.

Smurf National Bank.

Hey, so, can you score two
more tickets for Smoke and me?

Jackie, this isn't a
Phish concert, okay?

- It's the Met Ball.
- Come on. We're cool.

I mean, she's Black, and I do
a podcast from my living room.

To be clear, Herbert
saying, "You work too hard.

Let me write you a check,"

translates to, "Be there
for my morning cuddle

and help me find
my favorite tie."

Oh, I know. Harry's all like,

"Get out there, babe!
You do everything,"

until one morning, he doesn't
have his everything bagel.

And then it's like, "This
house is falling apart!"

Hey, I'm really enjoying listening to
your podcast "Rich People's Problems!"

You know, you're lucky I'm
loaded with pins and can't move

'cause you don't want
me to come over there.

Lisa, where's your hot
designer, Pierre Paolo?

I want a selfie with him.

Anthony.

- What?
- Is everything all right?

You are my date at Lisa's table.

You are not gonna embarrass
me by asking for selfies

with celebrities at the Met.

Like I was the one that
chased Justin Bieber

- down that hallway.
- It was for the kids!

Okay. My nanny has the stomach
flu and can't pick up Gabrielle.

- Charlotte: Oh no!
- Ina, I am so sorry.

I promise I won't mess
up any of your hard work.

Just tell him he can make the
train as long as he wants.

Bye.

Hi, Gabby, it's
Mommy. I'm on my way!

- Love the boobage.
- Oh, thank you.

- Wait 'til you see the rest.
- Mm. Mm.

- What are you gonna wear?
- A tux.

-Just a tux? The theme is "Veiled Beauty."
-Well, I'm a veiled threat.

Just ask anyone.

I'm so excited. The Met Ball.

God, I love balls.

Okay... Dinner is gonna be
a little bit late tonight

because after my fitting, I had to go
with your Uncle Anthony to get his tux.

Mom, you've got a big problem.

Like, giant. Enormous. So big.

Rock, stop scaring
me. What is it?

Okay.

Dad thinks he's going
with you to the Met.

What? Why would he think that?

No. Your daddy hates
these kinda things.

Well, he just came home all
excited about his outfit.

What outfit?

Cheerio, old chaps!

Honey,
where'd you get that hat?

It matches yours,
right? Am I right?

- Eh...
- After I saw your outfit,

I went to this guy
on Madison Avenue,

and he is hookin' me up.

I mean, it's the Met Ball,

I can't just wear
a plain, old tux.

I-I-I'm just surprised.
Y-You're so excited.

I never went to
my prom, you know,

'cause I had Epstein-Barr
that whole year.

- Right, right.
- I'm really lookin' forward to it!

- You, me, Rihanna.
- Oh! You, me, and Rihanna.

Yeah!

- Next voicemail, Franklyn, please.
- Comin' at ya.

This is Chase.

Hi, Carrie.

I'm seeing this guy and
we're having great sex,

but it's casual so far.

- Hm.
- How do I know if he'd be open

to taking it to more of
a relationship place?

Okay, bye.

First of all, Relationship Place

is a great name
for a restaurant.

Okay. I think, and, uh,
certainly, I'm no expert,

but... if he'd
like to go there,

there will be a moment...

when he sort of steps out of the
pattern you are currently both in

and signals to you

that he thinks this relationship
is more than just sex.

Anyway, that's what I think.

I hope that's
helpful, listeners.

Uh, 'kay, uh, who's next?

Hey.

- Great show.
- Yeah. Back at ya.

Oh, and, a buddy of mine is

christening his new bourbon
line at a rooftop party

with some friends Tuesday night.

Might be fun. How 'bout it?

Oh, um, sure.

Cool.

I mean... is... is, is this
a strap-on or a cat toy?

Can we
move this along?

I've got a set at The
Comedy Store at nine.

This is a lot of
work for something

that I don't even know if I'm
philosophically or spiritually into.

Oh, please, you scream, "Gimme a dick."

Didn't they have
a beginner model?

- I'm not a beginner.
- Oh!

Okay. You've got at least 10
more minutes of heavy lifting.

I'm gonna take
this. It's Carrie.

Backstage Cirque du
Soleil, this is Che.

Miranda
Say hi for me!

Miranda says hi.

Oh, tell her I said
hi. What's she up to?

Oh, trying to figure
out a strap-on.

I withdraw the question.

So, hey, how are you?

Curious. What's Franklyn like?

My Franklyn?

He's... a chill dude.

- How chill?
- Why?

I'm about to take your
and my relationship

to a very personal place.

I just told you Miranda's
strappin' on a dick.

We're there.

Put her on speaker.

Oh, she wants me to
put you on speaker.

- Put her on speaker.
- Okay, all right.

Okay... I'm sleeping
with Franklyn.

- Miranda: Who's Franklyn?
- Her podcast producer.

Carrie, if you sleep with someone
at work, you lose your power.

Take her off speaker.

You're out. Mm,
get back to it.

All right, all right.

So, you and
Franklyn. I saw that coming.

I didn't. Out of nowhere,
we kissed in the elevator,

and now we have sex every
Thursday after the podcast.

- Nice!
- No, it was until today.

He invited me to a roof
party with his friends...

- and I said yes.
- And that's a bad thing?

I don't wanna take
this to the roof.

In fact, I don't wanna take
this to any other level.

I like this level. Thursday
sex after the podcast.

Right, so... why did you
say yes to his invite?

I'm pathologically polite.

Okay, but... some relationships
are just about sex.

And that's the, that's
the primary dynamic,

which, which is awesome,

but then you have to
keep it in the bedroom

- and...
- And not the roof, right.

So, back to the
original question,

Franklyn, what's he
like? Is he really chill

or is he gonna get,
like, you know...

all emotional when I tell him
I only want Thursdays with him?

Carrie, truthfully, under all
that chill, he's a dude...

so... I have no idea
what's up in that man head.

All right. Thank you,
then. Good night.

Good night.

Okay.

Hey! What happened
to penis-palooza?

Nah. Show's over.

- Aww.
- I'm on Open Table.

How about we get outta here,

grab some dinner, and
I come see your set?

Um, I'm still workin'
out my new material.

- Oh.
- Well, maybe, maybe tomorrow night?

- Definitely tomorrow night.
- See?

Dick implied.

Good morning.

My son will be in town
for one day next week.

I want you to meet him.

Really?

I'd like that.

So, lunch Monday.

This Monday?

Does it really
come down to this?

The man or the Met?

Is the universe
really that cruel?

Yes. The universe is a bitch.

Oh, thank you.
My purse was exhausted.

- There you are.
- Well, you know,

you said you wanted your
relationship to move forward, right?

Yes, but this is like
a sudden lurch forward.

I've never even been to
his place. My choice.

But meeting his son will
definitely get you closer.

I'd be meeting his
son and his ex-wife.

She's invited, too,
so I'll get to see

how close we'll stay
after our divorce.

- So, you can't do both?
- Seema: Oh, it's a European lunch.

It could take a month. I
mean, if I go to the Met,

I'd have to be home with
my glam squad by 2:30.

2:30? I need a month.

- You need two minutes.
- Fuck, I can't come.

There's
just too much on the table.

I'm sorry, Carrie. Now, you
won't have someone gorgeous

to go to the Met Ball with.

What about that gorgeous booty
call guy Charlotte told me about?

I never said booty call.

-You have a booty call?
-It's not a booty call. We work together.

So, it's an
actionable booty call?

She isn't ready to let someone
in in a significant way.

Where'd you get that from?

- That's your response?
- Your...

Okay. I... Sorry. What
is happening with you?

Uh, I am having, um, "exit out
of grief sex" every Thursday

with a very nice man.

He is nice, yes.

Then, he asked me to
go out with his friends

on a Tuesday, and I felt
like I had to say yes.

- Just don't go.
- O-O-Oh, okay. How?

How do I tell him I don't
wanna go out on Tuesday

without seeming like a
"See ya next Tuesday"?

You're overthinking this.
Men aren't that emotional.

Just tell him you changed
your mind. He'll handle it.

- Okay.
- Last week, I was down on my knees

blowin' this cute
nurse practitioner,

and I feel a tap,
tap, tap on my head.

I look up and he says he
thought he was gonna be into it,

- but he changed his mind.
- Oh, my God.

- What did you do next?
- No "oh, my God," no "drama."

I took it like a man.
I got up, got dressed,

went home, ate a box of
Fiddle Faddle and I'm fine.

Well... tap, tap, tap.

What does that mean?

It means that due
to circumstances

beyond my control,

I have to take Harry to the
Met Ball instead of you.

- What?!
- He already bought a top hat,

and he never got
to go to his prom

because he had Epstein-Barr.

So?! I had Lyme disease
for five months.

Did I throw you
from a speeding car?

- No!
- But we're married.

I can't take my best gay
friend over my husband.

Oh, okay. I didn't know you
were on the Supreme Court.

All right, simmer
down, simmer down.

You can be my plus-one.

See?! Yes! Yes! You
can go with Carrie.

Well...

- I'll consider it.
- Oh, thank you.

Bartender, I'll have
what she's reading.

Such focus.

- Must be absorbing.
- Well, Skip Gates always is,

um, but since I'm on my
second glass of Malbec,

I'm having a hard
time concentrating.

Well, you're finding your
roots over a glass of wine.

That's, that's a challenge.

- How was your dinner?
- It was wonderful.

I'd love to join you
for dessert, but, uh...

But?

You're using your
purse as a rampart.

Oh, okay.

- It's alright. I think there's a hook here somewhere.
- I'll put it right here.

There you go.

- I'm Toussaint.
- Yes, you are.

- I'm Nya.
- Nya.

Beautiful name.

Have you tried the molten
chocolate cake here?

It will make you
see the face of God.

I believe it will.

And I do love chocolate,

- but, uh...
- Hmm.

I'm on kind of a diet.

Oh... I didn't know you
had to give up chocolate

once you got married.

- You do.
- Really?

No wonder I'm still single.

I was too busy looking
in these deep brown eyes.

I didn't clock the ring.

My apologies.

I will make sure your,
uh, fortress is secure.

Nice to meet you, Nya.

You good, ma'am?

I'll have another Malbec.

Ah, man.

I am so lazy in LA.
No one walks anywhere.

You know? It's like
yesterday I took an Uber

from my bathroom to my bedroom.

Yeah. And it was
way too expensive.

Um... and
that is my time.

Thank you so much, everybody.

You've been so
great. Thank you.

- Hey, my man!
- Heeey!

Che Diaz, everybody!
Che Diaz! Yeah!

Out here in LA filming
their TV pilot.

Hey, Che, any part for a white guy?

You were so good!

Nope.

Don't, don't hug me.

What's wrong?

I just... You surprised me.

- I'm at work.
- Oh.

You were so good.

- ♪ Yet I still end up on my
arse ♪

♪ But something's got
to give a little ♪

♪ Give a little ♪

Andre Rashad : Hey.

Hey, Andre. Turn
on your FaceTime.

Andre: We're talkin' now. We
don't need to FaceTime, babe.

No. No, we do.

I wanna FaceTime with you 'cause
I wanna show you something

that's not my face.

Turn it on! Turn it on now.

What's up? Isn't
it late there?

I miss you, baby. Know
what else misses you?

Not my face.

I'm wearin' those
panties you like.

You know, the ones
with the clit beads?

Babe, no, don't put
the phone down there.

- I'ma put it down there, baby.
- Nya, stop!

Stop. I'm, I'm not alone.

What you mean you're not alone?

Who's there with you?
Show me who's there.

♪ Give a little, I know ♪

Who the hell is that in a hat?

It's not like that, Nye.

That's Heidi, a,
a backup singer.

I'm helpin' her write songs.

Oh, you're helping
Heidi-in-a-hat

write songs in your hotel room?!

We're just writing songs,
and it's 9:30 here.

We're fully dressed.

I wish I had known
that we were allowed

to write songs with
other people...

because tonight...

I had the chance to write a
song with a super fine man.

- It's not like that.
- Feels like it is!

And if right now was a
song I was writing...

it would be a breakup song.

So, goodbye, Andre Rashad and
Little Miss Hipster Heidi.

♪ Yeah, something’s
got to give a little ♪

Fuck around and find out.

Coming!

Hello!

Here we are!

- That is a stunning kimono!
- Oh, thank you.

My, my friend Stanford
sent it to me from Japan.

Come in, come in!

- I...
- Carrie: This is very exciting.

I'm not worried.
We can do this.

Not worried about
what? What can we do?

So, my seamstress
has a stomach flu.

- Oh no.
- So I had to use a new seamstress...

- Oh.
- and she also got the stomach flu.

There's a seamstress
stomach flu?

- It is all over the city.
- The seamstresses have the flu,

but I got lattes, y'all.

But the cape is totally done.

- Totally.
- So it's only the dress.

O-Okay, so what still needs
to be done on the dress?

All the final fit work.

Oh, my God.

- Dude, that's too small.
- I know that, bitch.

Um, now what?

Um... that new seamstress
totally fucked this up...

- Fucked it up.
- But we have six hours.

I can open up the back.

- Yeah, take it off.
- Yeah, open it.

Carrie: How?

Oh, my God.

Hey, can you check again?

Jackie, just sit
the fuck back down!

I told you not to
come out here again!

Makes me nervous. Seriously?

My bad.

Weird.

I smell Franklyn
from the old podcast.

That expensive man perfume
he wears sometimes.

Yeah, he left his jacket here.

But why would Franklyn's
jacket be in your bedroom?

Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh.

Are you and Franklyn dating?

Is he your date to this thing?

That is so adorbs.

Said with no irony at all.

It's not adorbs.
We're not dating.

We just hook up
after the podcast.

So, you're not
taking him to this?

No, it's not like that.

We're, um, we're not a couple.

Does he know that?
'Cause men are dumb.

It's just sex.

Carrie Bradshaw, the
world has changed

since you've been
out there, okay?

It's not alright to
objectify people anymore.

Men have feelings, too.

So, to sum it up...

men are dumb with feelings.

- Exactly.
- Gotcha.

Yeah.

- How's it going?
- I still have four hours. Yeah.

Yeah.

Miranda: Oh. The Colosseum.

Brady and Louisa look so cute.

Um, I'm, I'm kind of
learning my lines.

You're acting like a...

Something is different.

You don't want me
to hold you lately.

Is there something
you're not telling me?

Yeah.

Okay. I, uh...

I have something
that I've been...

afraid to tell you because of
how you'll feel about me after.

Um...

okay.

I'm on a diet.

What?

Um, the costume department said

that my
belly hangs over my jeans...

and that's, that's why I
keep pushing your arms away.

I was afraid to tell you
'cause I don't want you

to think of me as this person.

Fuck!

God, after everything
I've been through,

I let this bullshit
still get to me.

Can I hold you?

Mm-hmm.

Can I tell you something that
I was afraid to tell you?

Mm-hmm.

I thought...

that you thought that our
relationship was just sexual...

and I made a
mistake coming to LA

and taking it out
of the bedroom.

No, it was about the jeans.

Che...

you are the most beautiful
person I have ever seen.

- You know what?
- What?

I am the most beautiful
person you've ever seen.

So, fuck TV.

- Let's get a pizza.
- Yeah.

- But thin crust, right?
- You bitch.

Hey, it's Carrie.
You got a minute?

Sure. What's up?

Well, in case you
were worried, um...

you left your jacket here.

Oh, okay, well,

I'll pick it up when
I get you on Tuesday.

Also...

I... changed my mind about the
bourbon roof party on Tuesday.

Is it the bourbon or the roof?

It's the Tuesday.

I think I'm only ready
for Thursdays with us.

Got it. You're not ready to...
book a table at Relationship Place.

Yeah.

But I'm really happy
with the takeout.

If you're okay with that.

Thursdays it is.

Okay... Bye.

It's us!

- That'd be hair and makeup.
- Mm.

How's it coming?

Um... do you have a
Band-Aid?

Uh-huh.

Oh, my God.

I can't even imagine the
headspace you have to get in

to go to work every day.

Yeah, my job
is a lot of pressure,

but then, so is yours, right?

Actually, I think
real estate may be

a little more stressful, Cyril.

You only risk your life
deactivating explosives,

whereas I have to take pretentious
New Yorkers out to lunch.

- Big shot and I are going for a smoke.
- Mm-hmm.

Zed: Victoire, get the check,

and then we'll go to
Brooklyn for baklavas.

Mm-hmm.

I'm not a fan of baklava or Brooklyn.

So, Victoire... when is the
last time you saw each other?

This morning, at home.

No, sorry. I meant Zed.

- Yes, this morning at home.
- Server: Whenever you're ready.

He's still living in my house.

Oh.

Ooh, ooh.

- Oh, okay.
- Sorry.

- Thank you.
- We'll put that here.

Hi, Seema. How's lunch?

I'm coming. He still
lives with his ex-wife.

I may be 20 minutes late.

Oh, well, uh, I
may be a day late.

I'm... I'm having
a bit of a dress issue.

-Sorry 'bout that.
-No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay.

- I'll just... I'll keep you posted, okay?
- Okay, babe.

Don't get out, Rocco, no time.

What's up, boss?

- Where are you going?
- To my home...

which I don't live
in with my ex-wife.

She has the top two floors.

I'm on the first.
Separate entrance.

Well, this feels like a mess,

and I'm not missing
the Met for a mess.

- You're such an American.
- Yes, I'm an American.

No secret there.

Seema!

Hello. This is your
male escort and I will be putting out.

Unfortunately, you will not.

- What?
- Tap, tap, tap.

- Seema's back in.
- You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

I'm sorry, but she
needs the Met more.

-You'll get over it. You're a man.
-Says who?!

Says you.

- You okay?
- When did my life become seventh grade gym class again?

Don't have fun.

Huh. Oh, that's
hot as all get out.

I get so... Ugh.

Baby... your shoulders
feel like iron.

What's goin' on up here?

The Avid crashed when I
was getting my makeup done

and I lost all the work
I did on my edit today.

That's what's going on up there.

- Look, you are about to have a very big night.
- Yeah.

And you're always doing
everything for all of us.

Why don't you let
me... do that thing...

that I
do... that relaxes you?

Sweetie, we, we don't have time.

Herbert: Hmm, hmm, hmm.

Okay, fine... but I am
ready from the waist up.

- Nothing can get smeared or messed.
- Got it.

- Only from the waist down.
- Yeah.

And my editor's gonna send the
new cut in, like, 10 minutes.

I only need eight.

Have a seat.

- I just feel like I should be double-checking something.
- Lis...

you're cuttin' into my eight.

Tighter, baby.

It won't
go any tighter.

It has to! We've gotta work
on your upper body strength.

Rock, please, come
help your sister.

I won't be party to
upholding the patriarchy

and the heteronormative
standards of beauty.

I totally understand
and applaud...

but just for today,
come help your sister.

Take them!

- Take these.
- Okay.

Ow, these boots are
kinda pinchin' me.

Welcome to fashion, Harry.

Ready, Rock?

- Ow.
- Ooh! Good, good.

What is with this train?

- This is crazy.
- It's not crazy.

It's Valentino.

Where's the van?
Where's the Sprinter?

That's what I
forgot, to confirm the van.

- Oh, my God.
- How could you forget that?

Ugh. Well, I was
having an orgasm,

which you said was for me,

but typically, it
was all about you.

- Oh.
- Well, now what?

Back to me, of
course. I don't know.

This can't fit in a cab.
There's no limos available,

so let's scoop this
baby up and walk.

You wanna walk 10 blocks?

Ya had to have
your eight minutes,

you can walk 10 blocks.

Oh, it was worth
it, baby. Wasn't it?

'Cause it was good.
You know it was good.

I don't know if it was "walk to
the Met" good, but it was good.

-Oh, okay. Can you see in that thing?
-Who needs to see?

♪ Call me what you want ♪

♪ Call me what you need ♪

Whew... is fashion
always this hot?

Harry, stop kvetching.

Aye, and these boots are really
gonna hurt goin' up all those stairs.

Well, good news.

Those stairs are only for
celebrities, not for us.

So... no one at work
is gonna see me on TV?

And where am I gonna get
my picture with Rihanna?

Honey, you probably won't.

What? So, no
stairs, no Rihanna.

Why'd I even wanna go to this
thing in the first place?

I have been asking
myself that all week!

What does that mean?

Announcer 1 : Fully
embracing the "Veiled Beauty" theme...

"Veiled Beauty"? How 'bout "Veiled Beast"?

Announcer 2 : Arriving on
the legendary Met stairs is always...

I hope you're havin' the
worst time of your life.

Anthony?! I've made
a terrible mistake.

Please, please, come with me.

-I'm back in?
-Yes, if you'll have me. How soon can you be ready?

-Yesterday!
-Okay, great. I'll pick you up in 20.

Okay, bye! I'm goin'
to the Met Ball!

Juan Jose: Ah,
this is so great.

Seema, this is fantastic.

You look amazing.

Amore, this is so beautiful.

Juan Jose.

Amore, I wanna take
a little video.

Right there.

Oh! Anna is going to love it.

This is really divine.

Amore, you look beautiful.

I love you all so much.

Juan Jose: Guys, we killed it!

Bye! Ciao!

Looks good, babe.

No. No, it doesn't.

It's supposed to be
fucking sickening tight

to show off her kick-ass body.

- You still have a half-hour.
- Jackie, this isn't some "Cinderella" shit!

This is my life! There aren't
any magic birds or fairies

who are gonna pull
this together,

so just shut the
fuck up, please!

I think I need a "Smoke" break.

Uh, Carrie, I'm, I'm so sorry.

- No.
- You can't wear this.

I, I mean, my career will be
over before it even starts.

Um, you must have something else
fabulous to, to wear with my cape?

Wait. I...

I can't just go to my closet
and find a perfect dress

to wear to something called
"Veiled Beauty." I...

Wait a minute, um...

I might have something.

I don't know. Maybe.

I've only worn it once.

It's not the best memory.

And just like that,
I repurposed my pain.

♪ Symbols clashing
everywhere ♪

♪ Reaps the fields
of rice and reeds ♪

♪ While the population feeds ♪

♪ Junk floats on
polluted water ♪

♪ An old custom to
sell your daughter ♪

♪ Would you like
number twenty-three? ♪

♪ Leave your yens on
the counter please ♪

♪ Ho-oh, ho-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Hong Kong Garden ♪

♪ Ho-oh, ho-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Hong Kong Garden ♪